Unfortunate circumstance.

Hello reader.

I imagine that there are no readers anymore, I just get that feeling.

I am getting a right ear ringing now and that's good. I woke up this morning unable to remember my dream and disconnected, I thought meditation was the answer but the ONLY thing that helps in any way is coming on this blog.

I am seriously considering suicide again, and when I say seriously considering I don't mean there's any actual 'considering' involved, I don't think like that, I mean that I've started to think of it as the only solution to my problems and when I make that decision it is the only time I feel good outside constant spiritual torment.

No one can remotely help me. I talk to people and they don't understand. I believe the shift is soon but I don't want to go through an Illuminati arrested experience without my pride. Simply put, since the girl has not responded to me in any way remotely resembling love, I am without pride. I believe this is my soul mate and my psyche is related to how she treats me. That isn't exactly correct but I can't get down to what I'm really trying to say.

Anyway, through some metaphysical hand strangling rules I am forced to declare this. I don't mind what happens to me on the other side and if I fall further into negative polarity. Perhaps I've always been a bad guy and this is set up. 

It's just method (HOW to definitely do it so it will work). I feel perhaps that I have to follow up on this before the end of the day otherwise the intention will run out and there are some things I have to do today. So I don't plan on following this up by the end of the day. But my psyche will not function if I am not in contact with her in some way. It really is mainly method that matters.

I can't see any way out or anyone that can (and would choose to) remotely help me. To be completely correct there there are those that CAN help but will not and those who would help but cannot. In my view, I haven't attempted to contact everyone that could potentially help but I am very well versed as to how people choose the lie over the decision to help.