Mirrors.

I'm going to talk about something that I have not wanted to mention for a few weeks. But has been going through my mind.

Interestingly though. VERY interesting. I have found this session and answer in the Law of One:

Questioner: Thank you. Could Ra give information on any way that we could give information to Greta Woodrew as to how to alleviate her present condition of swelling?

Ra: I am Ra. We may only suggest that the honor of propinquity to light carries with it the Law of Responsibility. The duty to refrain from contumely, discord, and all things which, when unresolved within, make way for workings lies before the instrument of which you speak. This entity may, if it is desired by the scribe, share our comments upon the working of the latter entity.

The entity which is given constant and unremitting approval by those surrounding it suffers from the loss of the mirroring effect of those which reflect truthfully rather than unquestioningly. This is not a suggestion to reinstate judgment but merely a suggestion for all those supporting instruments; that is, support, be harmonious, share in love, joy, and thanksgiving, but find love within truth, for each instrument benefits from this support more than from the total admiration which overcomes discrimination.

The second paragraph is where the emphasis is. It was weird how the actual name is put in now. Doesn't feel quite right, but it would also seem silly to now delete that now that it is publicly available on lawofone.info. Also, I found her wikipedia page, and she died in 2010. 

 

Grok said that she is about 25 years old in this. Whereas in 1984 roughly, when this session was done. She was about 50-55. 

The thing that I have been thinking over is the amazing and disproportionate power that women have in this society. There have been many different videos that have come up while I was mulling it over. But this is one:

Youtube: Hannah Spier: Treating the Pathological Female: Why the Current Model Fails: June 25th 2026.

https://youtu.be/CYnmU4r3YJc?si=86GFVIUvtAz4ebWQ

Basically, the point of this video, is that because Borderline is very female specific. The entire psychological establishment. Refuses to offer any opposition to their dysfunctional behaviours. The entire treatment is based on making them feel emotionally better about themselves. Whereas with a male equivalent diagnosis with similar behaviours. Anti social personality disorder. The treatment and attitude is extremely different from this. Recognising that if they do something then it is bad. Rather than if they do something bad, it is because of bad emotions, and everyone should put up with it. 

After a lot of this thinking. After this session and some contemplation on dreams and such. I have come to a new idea though on what I might consider a positive situation. 

I have talked before about being surprised by the amount of "privilege" so to speak, women enjoy. Specifically recounting overhearing a young girl saying that her and her friends had gone to a bar and the guys there had told them that when they go there in future, they can eat for free. There are other examples along this same direction. 

This reflects on the relevant Law of One session. If the feedback to young girls denies them "mirrors" etc. This is deep wisdom that I think could improve a lot of young womens lives.  

There are many examples of this generally. One of Pearl Davis' examples is that when she goes to the gym. She comes out and all the five shops there were shops focused on women. Because women control more of the "spending money". This is a part of her narrative. 

Another example is I watch a lot of musical youtube channels. The young women, generally just playing chords and singing. Even if it is good singing. It is not a standard I would accept from myself. Soon- ish they are making posts about going to do shows in such and such a place. I rarely see this kind of thing from men. Unbelievably talented people. I mean, world leading. Are often posting videos busking. 

But what strikes me, what understanding has suddenly become so clear on this. Is that that is not the good thing in life. The good thing in life. Regardless of money and other markers of status and success. Is polarity. If we are positively polarised we are happy (or potentiated in some fifth density cases). If we are not polarised service to others. If we are having trouble and have parts of us polarised service to self. We are not happy. 

It utterly changes the thinking on this in my opinion. 

The woo woo shift.

So, figured I will do a woo woo post today. My health is not good with heat. And it is very, very hot. I will try and not leave the house tomorrow. I feel with bouts of illness it is easier to focus on ungrounded matters in general. I wonder if this was a small part of the function that Carla's illness had in her life (in reference to the Law of One).

I have not wanted to talk about this for a while. But, for people that are inclined that way I think it is relevant. 

Ra Uru Hu was someone that channeled an entirely new and extremely complex; extremely deep. Astrology system. 

The Human Design Chart does have some future information that might relate to what the Law of One calls the harvest. The coming changes to our world. 

They have mentioned something called 'The Raves'. Supposedly, from around February 2027, the beings born will be part of a new race. Very telepathic. Very psychic. Kind of blind and deaf. Very different to us. They will not need a lot of looking after, but will go and get up to their own thing, mostly ignoring their parents and society that we know of. 

They fit with what the Law of One might call 'the new breed'. Incarnating for fourth density work.

There is more to be said about February 2027. But it really is in the area of woo. It is also I think, the best that Ra Uru Hu had with available knowledge. I imagine that not just with this, but with many areas. As things have updated the main body of human design information looks a bit different in small ways. 

Ra Uru Hu talked about in February 2027. A huge energy changes. From the first line to the sixth line. Meaning people with sixth line energy (Me!) will have more backing. Things will flow more. The sixth line is a very spiritual line which indicates to me that a lot of spiritual people would suddenly gain significance/ celebrity at this time. 

But Ra Uru Hu also talks about something shifting and the gate 19 kind of suddenly ceasing to exist. This doesn't sound right to me. Energy can't just change so something doesn't exist. It might be yet another metaphorical kind of thing from the source. Or messed up information. But anyway, we will run with it all the same.

The 19 is the gate of need. It is the gate that approaches the tribe with a request. In Ra Uru Hu's explanation. It is the gate that has to do with all resources. Ever needing any resources. It is the gate of animal husbandry and our relationship with animals, especially for food. Or perhaps, he emphasized for food. It is also the gate of 'needing' god, so religion as well. It is also the gate where approach happens. As in the courting that leads to marriage.

This seems to underpin pretty much our entire culture. These four themes are some of the biggest theme in our culture. 

At the time of course. Ra Uru Hu had no model as to how these changes might occur so he tended to think of it like the entire world kind of collapsing and a bunch of people starving to death as institutions collapse. (Another aspect of the astrological change, the 1st to 6th line thing, says that large institutions will cease to exist).

This was all before Q though. Now that we have Q and the new age eccentric communities. We have the potential shift that some sort of 'mass arrest' and/ or 'disclosure'. But most importantly, as has been discussed a lot. A new economic model built upon some sort of gold standard. 

A shift of this sort would satisfy all those requirements. There would be no struggle for resources under the right economic model. (The current fiat currency and inflation is a large part to blame for that in my opinion). Also without the same evildoers and their masters that have been in politics for centuries. With new technology meat might be a thing of the past. 

It does not fit all of these things. But the future could be strange in a way that we can't predict. It feels unlikely to me that people will suddenly stop 'needing' God. But potentially, if there was good enough promotion and understanding of a kind of Law of One like model. Then people would not need to seek these things because that need would have been satisfied. 

I recall when I used to think of storylines and one of the plot lines I thought of. One of them that has stuck with me is the idea that an alien race, a very positive alien race. Just takes over humanity and runs everything in accord with intelligences that we do not have. 

Like, the idea being that people are just kind of shuffled about in accordance with some grand plan. So if the issue between two long term friends was that one person did not have status while the other one had a lot of status. Then for about three years that one friend gains a lot of status and then meets that friend. It would be more complex than that in real life of course. X person should go and live with Y community.

The point seems... annoying and infantalising. A stunted lack of freedom. But it was only a story idea. Our culture I would say though is fairly infantile. There are billions of people that vote left. The idea would be that after a period of time the humans in this story would be meant to have gained and learned and then would not have to be supervised any longer.  

The acceptance of chaos.

At the moment. I feel absolutely sure that my post of yesterday, talking about coming away from the Communion as a personal practice. Is correct. 

I have a lot of thoughts about what might be it's "magickal" significance. But suffice to say, in short hand, that the idea was an extension of a kind of "blood magick" in my understanding. And blood magick, is not something the positive uses. (This is from Aaron Abke and his video of about six days ago on Leviticus).

I am actually feeling a noticeably other than good or loving feeling at the moment. But it is powerful... Raw. I sometimes think of one of the Law of One sessions where the contact talked about how the negative greeting works, and it specified there were two targets in Carla. One was the heart chakra. I think, I might be wrong, that this was encouraged towards over, not under, activation. 

It reminds me of the constant waffle that is given loving language. But is actually quite negative. From a lot of people. When someone prevaricates on a clear spiritual question for instance. Refusing to answer you directly. I recall one example I heard recently was in a meditation group. Where a group of hippy male meditators leave a class because an intimidating ex con turns up and intimidates the women. Leaving only one guy to talk to him who was a bit more grounded. The guy talking about this remarked at how vocal these hippy male meditators were in talking about things like virtue. 

I am not feeling positive or loving like that. I am feeling deep, powerful rage flowing through me. And because of this. I can feel my ability to create lyrics, something that seems blocked in me. Starting to work a bit better. I can say something when the root is anger.  

Anyway, I have something to say, but I do not think I have the ability to fully say what that is. So it will be a shortened vague version in what I think is the right direction:

Youtube: Cold Condition: Woman Says Rejecting A Man Before His Glow Up Is The Worst Feeling: June 22nd 2026:

https://youtu.be/E8gHtGJ7uic?si=5LefQ8vvDvXyf07D

The point here is the general correctness of this and how this opposes the soft, liberal 'forgiveness without contrition' consensus. When evildoers try to convince someone to give forgiveness without contrition. They never focus on the evildoer. The abusive partner. They always try and revictimise the person who was treated badly. 

I think there is an understanding amongst these centrist types. They know they are horrible people. And they know that it would be in their best interesting if the people they are casually bullying believe this forgiveness without contrition thing because there is a very real possibility (but only possibility, there is a greater probability the bullied person will never gain status) that that person may gain power in the future. It is a bone deep, strong desire to evade accountability. 

Going quickly to Session 34 and the process being "Understanding, acceptance and forgiveness". I have said before I think these are Mind, Body and Spirit. I think in these situations. When there is a disagreement and someone is disrespected. Someone is considered 'the lesser animal'. An important part of the 'body' section of this. Is a certain animal power.

I do not think we can "forgive" someone when there is an unequal power dynamic. Say someone is being bullied at work by their manager. They are then told to let it go by HR, but the manager has no intention of changing. Bullies rarely, if ever, do. The person then is in a position of having to pretend they have "forgiven" the situation. Or no longer being able to eat. 

Or a situation where a woman is socially ascendant, and a guy was treated badly and then she flat out avoids him after that with no discussion, no apology.  

In these situations. I don't think forgiveness can be legitimate. Because the power dynamic is off. A proper relationship has to have a kind of equal power dynamic. Not a 'forgive or else'. 

So I think in the body section. In the acceptance section. This video above is what has to happen. Some process, some thing, has to happen to balance out the power. In order to see another as the One Creator in the real sense of the term. There does have to be some sort of equal power dynamic I think. 

So this is what this part of the process is. In the video above. A guy talks about how a lot of women disrespected him. Then he did really well in the gym and posted his physique and a lot of women suddenly changed their tune. A lot of people suddenly coming around trying to be friends and "forget" any of their older, disrespectful, behaviours.

This is a balancing of power. I think this works in a lot of different situations. It is part of the process. Power is not just in physique. It can be social power, status, money (with women I think it is more strongly expressed in attractiveness, in how they experience animal power). When Stefan Molyneux talks about all the people he had to leave behind. Who were getting jealous and such, trying to sabotage him. It is a similar thing. 

Understanding, Acceptance and... Forgiveness. Forgiveness I am not so sure on. Watching Stefan Molyneux as an ideal model. I would say that when he had gone through these processes. He did not turn around and forgive all the people involved. It could be something like... to Forgive, or not. As the Human Design would say (The 'or not' is a very specific energy of being opposite to that thing. it is not 'not' as in not existing. It is opposite). But the last point of the process that I can see in Stefan is that he brings in spiritual laws of a sort. When he says that 'Love is our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous". This might be the work of the spirit.

I still want to ask him about that. I still don't quite get how he thinks, or would explain rather, how precisely that mechanism works? I would like to ask him hypotheticals on it.

Understanding is understanding the problem. Acceptance, is accepting it exists. (Which makes sense this is where the action is. Once you accept something has happened, it is intuitively correct you can act from that place!) Then comes the last thing. The action of the spirit. Which brings in information that actually solves or concludes the issue? 

Anyway, exciting times. If a little bit scary from the stronger emotions. I trust that this will all work out in a good way from now on. It is like when you make a minor change that just changes things like 10% every day. Like when you do meditation. Your decisions are 10% clearer. Over the longer term, it mounts up!  

Lightning strikes.

Feeling successful after my last post. Feeling, as I now suspect was a ridiculous idea. I might be done with producing new ideas to put on here for a while. 

The reason being is that, I focused my energy on positively polarised things like I said in my last post. I got a result. It did not seem as though there is anything more to do from that place. Just be in that place. 

But, then I had a powerful insight. So here we are. One that might change my entire belief system in a powerful way. 

The Law of One on the Holy Communion:

Questioner: Thank you. Could you explain the basic principles behind the ritual which we perform to initiate the contact and what I would call the basic white magical rituals— principles of protection and other principles? Could you please do this?

Ra: I am Ra. Due to your avenue of question we perceive the appropriateness of inclusion of the cause of this instrument’s transitory vital energy distortion. The cause is a bias towards the yearning for expression of devotion to the One Creator in group worship.

This entity was yearning for this protection both consciously in that it responds to the accoutrements of this expression, the ritual, the colors and their meanings as given by the distortion system of what you call the church, the song of praise, and the combined prayers of thanksgiving and, most of all, that which may be seen to be most centrally magical, the intake of that food which is not of this dimension but has been transmuted into metaphysical nourishment in what this distortion of expression calls the holy communion.

The subconscious reason, it being the stronger for this yearning was the awareness that such expression is, when appreciated by an entity as the transmutation into the presence of the One Creator, a great protection of the entity as it moves in the path of service to others.

The principle behind any ritual of the white magical nature is to so configure the stimuli which reach down into the trunk of mind that this arrangement causes the generation of disciplined and purified emotion or love which then may be both protection and the key to the gateway to intelligent infinity.

I am reading book 5 at the moment. I have been getting a fair amount of synchronicities around all of this. Which I have been leaning into. But it is not a language I really appreciate or think a great deal of. I am more enamoured with the philosophical/ Stefan Molyneux kind of direction of logical deduction. 

I recall a week or so ago, perhaps a bit longer. When I wrote a blog on here mentioning Don Elkins and what he was perhaps thinking. I.... do not like talking about this. The reason being is that it is closely related to the insanity of believing I was Don Elkins in a past life, as I did in the past. Which I have identified as being potentially linked to the unconscious attempt to gain status, where it had been redirected from my actual life through social ostracism, and physiological issues linking to mental illness. (There is a transit strongly talking about this today. Mars conjunct Algol (trauma) in the gate 8.3. The gate 8 was where I had identified these tendencies previously linking to my unconscious Earth in gate 1!)

Anyway, I did talk a bit about Don. There was something that just seemed obvious while I was reading book 5. And I got a synchronicity. One then, and one linking recently again. This was the feel of "Carla" that I got. Super talented guys with a religious song in the American South that I associate her with:

Youtube: Amazing Grace - Johan Borgh and Enil Ernebro: October 3rd 2022:

https://youtu.be/7VMZoTImriI?si=8I7KCdXd5o_h4RfC

Of note here is music is something I genuinely love. A language that Carla speaks.  

Anyway, while reading the Law of One book 5, I have seemed to have synchronistically been going through the same kinds of things. I realised yesterday, that a mega reason that my focusing on the positive is good for me is that it retains a bit of my energy back. Going to the gym with my precarious health I was overdoing it. But consistency is very important for my medical situation. This is one of the pieces of guidance discussed in book 5.

Another thing was Don crashing out over the Hawk in a house he was considering moving to. That he applied a very logical framework to. "If we had not seen the Hawk we would have gone there, so it must have meant something bad." It is likely to me that the message was not just for Don. But was a general background of magick that the other two would also have appreciated. Just a general background of magick that those spirits enjoyed gracing the group with. 

The other day while walking, having just read this Hawk section. I saw a Deer. It is not something frequently seen in England. I have seen one one other time and I am in the countryside almost daily. It was a baby deer. That seemed unperturbed as me, one other and an American Staffy (a larger version of a Staffy!) walked by; the Staffy didn't notice the deer. Bizarre of a deer to not think that kind of dog might be dangerous.  

Then the change:

Things were kind of flowing. In the past few hours. I have had sudden "disagreements" with this material. The ideological position of forgiveness without contrition is very negative to me. I do not care at the moment what particular source opposes this. I just know it. It's evil is articulated in the abuse communities. And it has been philosophically justified as incorrect. But Carla mentions it in relation to the negative entities in the fragment I have just read; Fragment 48. Carla was pushing forgiveness without contrition through Q'uo as late as 2009, I think, it might have been later, but I have a specific session for that.

Then there was something that just didn't gel in the session itself. There was also the casual suggestion by Carla that her cat is reincarnated from another cat and I refuse to engage in that kind of thinking. It is maddening. We do not have authority or insight into the world beyond this one. 

Then, this evening, I look at a video that is mentioning Christianity, and mentions that Jesus did not necessarily say the communion stuff. Since Paul, the false apostle said it first, and the gospels were written after Pauls. This could mean they were put in. 

The murky truth:

This means that I have a difficulty with the Law of One directly. The session stated above. I do already have things I don't know if I believe about it. For instance, I do not know if I believe the story on Hitler. My thinking is that if there has been some kind of lie about that, and it being illegal to oppose the mainstream narrative in some countries indicates that could very likely be the case. Then the Law of One contact could not say that. To not oppose the negative in a concrete way and also, because of free will. To not lead the questioning into a tangent. (They said very early on, I think session 2.2, or could have been 1.0. "What we have to share with you is philosophical not historical". Meaning, they will tell the truth on philosophical matters, but feel no responsibility to tell it on historical matters!)

Also, the implication of understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. Understanding and acceptance I understand. Not yet forgiveness. But I wonder if the term forgiveness was to keep in line with free will, and it could actually mean something different. (I have more on this, perhaps unsurprisingly!)

At the moment, I am struggling a bit with a lot of these kinds of thoughts anyway. I have had a few times where the information I am looking at lights up in a "Q" kind of way. Human Design transits and such, dates, future events, theories on what 'comms' are telling us all. But I aggressively oppose that kind of thing within myself. There have been too many false starts now on Q stuff. I can only grip what is in my life and infront of me. 

In general. I have an inner rage that can't be opposed. Everyday on twitter in England. Some horrible news thing comes through. 3 year old gets thrown into a crocodile enclosure by immigrant. Disabled man has his eyes gouged out by immigrant. 

I have seen enough to not completely oppose Q. Such as some things around the Trump election. But I also cannot commit myself to the belief in any real way to the paradigm that things will get better. That positive entities are guiding everything. Or that things like miracles, telepathy and energy healing are possible. When there is such dogged evidence to the contrary of the telepathy and energy healing. (I do feel the positive entities though I am not really doubting that!)

Where this is all going is that I am now doubting whether I should be doing the Communion. It has been a very important part of my life since Easter of 2022. When I went to church, not knowing it was Easter Sunday, and started communion from them. Having experienced what felt like positive spiritual power from this. 

This might be like one of my semi regular now faith crisis such as when I have thought I should stop prayer a few times. Anyway, it felt appropriate to write on this blog for the moment.  

The conscious mind.

I have been listening recently to a Ra Uru Hu speech on 2027. The astrological changes he describes and the best way, with the knowledge he had at the time. To explain them. To attach them to what might happen in real life. 

But, it leads in a kind of transcient direction. Or something like that. After the years of David Wilcock lies, it is hard to attach to fantastic claims attached to prophesy. Even though, logically, Ra Uru Hu was not David Wilcock. He channeled the entire human design. Ra Uru Hu clearly has a genuinely galactic level IQ. While the Law of One trio, I don't think could form the words and insight of the Law of One contact. Ra Uru Hu is somewhere in the realm, I think, of creating that system. 

So Ra Uru Hu's IQ was probably somewhere around where David Wilcock claimed David Wilcocks was. While not being able to change the batteries in a smoke detector. 

Be that as it may. I realise I have grown far more grounded throughout my life now. Only really believing things that I can distinctly grip. But at the same time. Being very inclined towards this metaphysical kind of area. 

So without my mind being able to penetrate these larger themes; or perhaps being able to penetrate but not trusting. I am going back to one of the simplest spiritual themes.

I have talked before. Actually on a video. About this card. The Matrix of the Mind. The Conscious Mind. A simple archetype shown by gate 17, the simplicity and single focus of an opinion, gate 21, the direction of the will. Gate 51, and the shock that comes from that power but also leads into the next place. The vast expanse, (gate 42), of the subconscious mind. 

How the conscious mind works, functions, is what I think this is talking about. The ball is the positive polarity. The focus. The bird is the subconscious mind. The neophyte, is unable to walk forward without being prevented by the bird cage. 

The thing he is seeking is below his feet. Since the next card is the subconscious mind, and these themes continue through to other cards. But his focus has to be on the inspiration itself. 

This is something I kind of gripped theoretically. Kind of realised, suspected, thought about. But which has not gained the authority in my mind. I did not use it properly. 

The thing I absolutely LOVE to do. Which I need no discipline at all to do. Is go to the gym. Partly to get out my anger. To transmute it. It links with the kind of thing I talk about here. I have a theory that once I get far into that anger. Once I have done a lot of exercise. The next stage of the positive spiritual path will become more clear. 

But, there is a problem. When I go to the gym I am often exhausted. I stop doing some of the things that are good in my life. Namely, prayer, meditation and affirmations. Maybe music is part of that. I also need the energy of meditation to go to the gym. Those things really improve me. Without them my energy flags. (It is not just lack of energy stopping me going to the gym but the energy involved in more preparation than normal due to the health condition).

It means I will have to change my thought process and priority. I am emotionally effected by having gained weight. So the gym becomes a priority. Before I am at the stage where I can combine exercise with diet changes, my body has to be good enough to regularly do the exercise. 

But the priority can't be the weight. I will have to put up with the weight. My priority has to be prayer and such. Then my energy will be in a good place and the gym should follow.

This is in line with this card. I have to keep focused on the positive spirituality. The real goals (gym, maybe music) i.e. the bird cage, will have to come as a result of that. 

Wrap up transcience. Music and contradictions. Jealousy.

Wrap up. 

A little bit of a wrap up on the 'transcient' point, I was discussing in the last post:

This is the kind of all consuming evil that I would consider to be difficult. It is not transcient in the fact that it is related to some obscure, claimed government secret, like extra terrestrials. But it is still 'transcient' in the sense, that it is something I could engage in, and it would take my energy away from and disturb things like contemplation, meditation, music etc. 

It is also different from 'obscure government secrets', because it is evil happening in the real world. It odes not have that layer of separation. 

Like I said though, I have to withdraw from this. In the passive sense of generally leaning in one political direction and being there potentially when opportunity arises, like voting. I don't have much I can do about all this. That i can see.

The only thing I can do is improve my health and go to the gym in case some sort of altercation finds me. But I would do that anyway. Health is my main thing.  

The following though, is the take away wisdom that is still relevant. There is a small amount of this material I believe, this is needed to oppose the excesses of the negative that we see. Once you know what is in this tweet, and in far more background from this guys podcasts or a show like Promethean action. It buffers against the sense of powerlessness, doomerism and anger:

I do tend to think that what is happening on the global level is reflected in our personal lives. Because the transits are the same. The same transits happening to Trump and the people surrounding him. Are happening to everyone. The same social patterns, such as the dominance of one or another group. Are also almost universal, it seems to me. So when it is broken in one place, it starts to be broken everywhere. 

So if Trump and the movement against the Deep State is carefully destroying the foundations of the negative. I imagine that is also happening in our personal lives. It is not obvious to me that this is happening. But it is interesting the idea that traps are being carefully laid to prevent evildoers escaping accountability and confrontation. 

The beauty of music and emotional complexity. 

I would say, that, for me. The study of the Law of One and various insights I have been having have lead to a kind of deeper, more complex, set of emotions and perceptions.

Just a general thought on these two songs:

Youtube: Young Pilgrim Music: Don McLean - American Pie: June 9th, 2020:

https://youtu.be/Z13vOA7s0FI?si=1Y6qhyYKhs-DyL-z

Youtube: The Walters: The Walters - I Love You So: November 29th 2014:

https://youtu.be/NwFVSclD_uc?si=r_BOj2Az9L1XaSAU

In both of these songs:

"Well I know that you're in love with him. Cause I saw you dancing in the gym. You both kicked off your shoes. Man I dig those rythmy blues."

"I love you so ... I'm gonna pack up my things, and leave you behind... I hope you feel, what I felt, when you shattered my soul."

Music has a way, I think, of showing the contradictions in a situation. But not having those contradictions have to be squared with each other. I think in most of life where there is a narrative. Where there is a story. And the contradictions have to be kind of fitted into said story.

I recall with an ex friend of mine who jumped off a cliff. I mention her frequently. Clearly still processing it. I wrote a song about her that all came out pretty much immediately. A lot often comes out initially, after that it is an effort. It takes quite a lot of organisation and effort to work on a song after that initial flash of inspiration is gone. 

The song started with a reference to her "tormented" psychological health. It's chorus was about me not being able to look after her. The second verse was how much affection I had towards her not in reference to that. The third verse was more angry. Telling her to go and think about what she had done. "Fade away". All contradictory emotions within the same relationship and set of circumstances. 

These songs are both that as well. Well not precisely. The Don McLean section about dancing in the gym. Was truly letting go of and even celebrating the fact that a girl he was into was into someone else. It is just not a feature in a lot of songs. That lack of detachment and good will. 

The second song includes a contradiction. "I love you so". The song doesn't hide from the fact that the songwriter has very positive feelings towards the girl. But it also airs their strong disagreements which it is intended should end the relationship.

The first time recently I heard this song was Hidden in Plain Sight putting it in a tribute to David Wilcock. This song, and the way it was edited. Was a good choice. 

The pains of jealousy. 

As someone that is quite an ill person. I have been surprised a few times when people have shown jealousy towards me. This specific issue has come up in my personal life. 

But perhaps I shouldn't. I thought up until recently that I could "outreason" the emotion of jealousy. Explain why I did not think it was legitimate. I will go through some of my reasoning here. But I have come to a different conclusion now, as to how things work. 

There are times, when it is destructive to be humble and self effacing. I believe now is one of those times. If someone experiences jealousy towards you. Then saying "Oh, I'm not actually that good (in whatever way the person is jealous of) is actively snobbish and will increase the persons sense of confusion and anger I think. 

So I will go through the good parts of my own being. The things others might look at me for and with they had. I will not underdo these positive characteristics:

A) I am quite intelligent. I am legitimately intelligent. I am not pretending. In the very many ways in which people do pretend in this society. I have had my IQ tested professionally. I have had habits of doing random technical things since very young. When I was about 7 years old my mother has strange stories of this. I do have the ability to see into things. With complexity and context. That others either don't have. Or have but they are not using/ are applying in a specifically very different way. 

I think this blog kind of indicates that. No one is motivated to write this much and this frequently if their brain isn't going a bit crazy.  

B) I am good at music. Perhaps related to the above. I had a very musical father who was well known in that industry in his specific niche. So I have it genetically. But I also just have it. There is an element of randomness in musical ability I understand.

C) I look good. This has been so pronounced I have been out before and attractive women have specifically come and sat next to me, without being invited. Clearly indicating a certain openness to any of my advances. 

D) I have a spiritual message (all this). 

The justifications. 

I do not live a life that these characteristics would indicate. I spend a great deal of time alone and I have a disability. One that kind of creates a lot of second order effects. One of these was a very physiologically created schizophrenia. But my health is better with technology now than it was. But it has made relationships and career difficult. Making in turn relationships difficult and even sex at times impossible. When my physical health is at its worst. So I am not going out being that seductive musical chad ploughing through the hoes. 

I have had various people say directly or otherwise they were jealous of me in some way. Quite a few in fact if you consider this might be the motivation for times when this specific motivation was not directly stated. Even when another motivation was stated. Like people do.

One of the arguments I had against jealousy in general then. Was that to me, these things are connected to each other. I might have had strong schizophrenic tendencies because of a physiological issue. But I also have it in my family line. I am also inclined to it anyway and the physical issue pushed that into being. I would say that it is connected to my inspiration and musical ability. Some of my best songs have arrived with a kind of demonic feeling. 

There is a negative side to everything like that. A creative tendency that leads to schizophrenic side effects. Also intelligence itself I think, can lead one into conflict with others. One of the most intelligent people that I believe exists is Stefan Molyneux. His intelligence has lead him to political views of a strongly right wing nature. He classifies himself as an anarcho capitalist. Meaning that capitalism is the mechanism we do everything and there is no state.

Many of the people that I see get jealous of a thing like intelligence. Also have no appetite for this kind of conflict. They would hundred percent tow the left wing line to carry on getting on well with their friends. Stefan has fallen out with nearly everyone he grew up with I think. Perhaps everyone down to the last man I am not sure.  

There is also, I think, an element of personal choice. On a good day, I pray three times a day, I do affirmations with two of those times. I meditate. I have been into spirituality and the Law of One for a long time. Since I was about 11 years old I had strong beliefs in psychic abilities and such. My mother was an atheist and I had no other guidance in these areas. It was internally created. This means, that if the angels and spirits are indeed there. I am asking for help every single day and they are indeed helping. This has come through open mindedness which I believe is a virtue. There are people that have expressed jealousy at various things who are not at all inclined towards any of these areas. So they have been basically rejecting good help. It is unreasonable to expect the benefits of having done something without doing that thing. And faith deepens. I did not start with the level of faith I now have. It took me more than a decade to start to take said faith more seriously. A person starting today would not be at the same level and should not expect to be. Closed mindedness has consequences.

This goes further. I had a friend who was a stoner get annoyed at me about my musical tendencies and abilities. Who got angry when I wanted to talk about scales. I don't quite know what these people expect. If you want to be good at music. Then chilling with your friends, smoking weed, and not playing scales is not the way to do that. You can spend that kind of time with your friends of course. "There are no mistakes". I do not have the position of absolute knowledge to tell you what is best for you. But there are consequences. So if you do not practice, you will not be good at music. 

A similar thing with women who want to be seen as amazing musicians but have spent a lot of their time partying and having fun in relationships. The guy who didn't do any of that and stayed home and practiced. And thought a whole lot more in solitude. Is going to get better results as to his creative ability. Of course, with attractive women, that might not matter. They still might get the status of a good musician. But they will not get the ability of a good musician.  

These are what I see as some of the cognitive contradictions in jealousy.

In real terms.

However, I have hit a snag with this example. The trouble I have is this: I do not experience jealousy. I have never experienced jealousy except for a very few small times. I can only remember one time. One single instance. I think I had a few more a bit back, but they were obviously not impactful enough to wait around. They were evicted and left without any great fanfare.

The time I recall was seeing a girl, making a very entitled youtube short about how she will not put up with men treating her below a quite high and some would say, unreasonable, standard. But she had this lovely long hair. I am going bald now. I am almost completely bald. I do want my hair back. As a Leo, I was proud of my hair in my twenties when I used to gel it. 

I recall seeing men with attractive girlfriends that I probably should be jealous of. But I am not. 

As someone that has not experienced jealousy. I cannot advise others on jealousy. Sure, I can offer some compelling thoughts that I think are logically sound. But as far as advice. On 'this is the way to handle it'. I cannot do that. The long haired girl is still not enough for me to focus on. It is still not of any intensity compared to my other negative emotions (anger, and bitterness over the health issue). But some people experience as a negative emotion. Jealousy, strong jealousy. That is many instances and can be thought of every day and things.

But I do not apply this thinking, the thinking I have summarised. To this emotion of jealousy. When someone is jealous of something, they kind of want the thing itself and do not have a larger perspective on what the other person is going through. 

I have no idea what is going on in the entitled long haired womans life. And I do not want to. Baldness might be a side effect of testosterone. Which I obviously have more of than her. But such a justification does not change the emotion. 

It makes me realise this attempt to justify the emotion. To cognitively think it through. Might be motivated by my own annoyance of it when it is directed towards me. 

An entire Law of One paradigm.

One of the reasons I might not have gotten jealous, is because it is an emotion that is very difficult to fit in with the Law of One. 

People simply are different parts of the Creator. We cannot "be" each other. It is just not a thing that is possible, or desireable. 

In all, it is very difficult though to come up to the standard of the Law of One. I read this quote the other day:

Questioner: Then she says, “If this is so, this seems to be part of the riddle about the manner of beingness that Ra spoke of. I fear if I do not work successfully on my human distortions I shall be responsible for losing the contact. Yet also Ra suggests the over-dedication to any outcome is unwise. Could Ra comment on these thoughts?”

Ra: I am Ra. We comment in general first upon the query about the contact which indicates once again that the instrument views the mind/body/spirit complex with jaundiced eye. Each mind/body/spirit complex that is seeking shall almost certainly have the immature and irrational behaviors. It is also the case that this entity, as well as almost all seekers, [has] done substantial work within the framework of the incarnative experience and [has] indeed developed maturity and rationality. That this instrument should fail to see that which has been accomplished and see only that which remains to be accomplished may well be noted. Indeed, any seeker discovering in itself this complex of mental and mental/emotional distortions shall ponder the possible non-efficacy of judgment.

As we approach the second portion of the query we view the possibility of infringement upon free will. However, we believe we may make reply within the boundaries of the Law of Confusion.

This particular instrument was not trained, nor did it study, nor worked it at any discipline in order to contact Ra. We were able, as we have said many times, to contact this group using this instrument because of the purity of this instrument’s dedication to the service of the One Infinite Creator and also because of the great amount of harmony and acceptance enjoyed each by each within the group; this situation making it possible for the support group to function without significant distortion.

We are humble messengers. How can any thought be taken by an instrument as to the will of the Creator? We thank this group that we may speak through it, but the future is mazed. We cannot know whether our geste may, after one final working, be complete. Can the instrument, then, think for a moment that it shall cease in the service of the One Infinite Creator? We ask the instrument to ponder these queries and observations.

The relevant line here that I highlighted is 'How can any thought be taken by an instrument as to the will of the Creator?

I considered a few times, trying to push myself into having that kind of faith of everything being part of "Gods plan". I don't think I can do it though. Because it would also include a lot of very evil things. The negative entity winning out here would have been under one of those possibilities that might be considered "Gods Plan" if it were to happen.  

I wanted to mention that because I wanted to show that even though I would argue against this being a reasonable standard. That everything is Gods plan. The Law of One does mention it. 

But aside from that, as far as my emotional thought on the question of jealousy goes. Who am I to tell someone what to feel? There was one additional personal item here that I have not included, that might be very legitimate for people to be jealous of. That I could perhaps argue against. But it would be hollow. 

In general, when I have talked to people that are dysfunctional for some reason. Maybe jealous, but more often something else. The situation, their mindset, how they came to their decisions and my perception of their errors that got them there. Are far bigger, and more complex, than anything I can understand.  

Conclusion. 

So that's where I am ending it. That I do have a bit of a cognitive perspective on jealousy. But I don't really know. I am certainly lacking some experience in this area. And people have the right to their own feelings and their own process. 

Political predictions.

Reflections on Makerfield then.

If you are perhaps reading from another country and are not aware of what happened in this by election. That I referred to in previous posts. The Labour candidate, had an absolute landslide. 54% of the vote. 

I have been through this whole thing a few times. Ever since I have been online it seems. Picking off David Wilcocks narrative. I have tried to find evidence that things are going to kick off soon in some amazing way. Previously, I recall, the worst one actually still. Is that there was a grand cardinal cross. Several planets, including some outer ones, were at 13 degrees Cardinal. 

Nothing happened. I mean, absolutely nothing. Really nothing. Not, "oh there were some interesting developments. But it's kind of abstract so nothing proveable." No. not that. I mean, ACTUALLY nothing.

My half sister has a Sun at a 13 degree cardinal placement and I asked her and her mother, whom was there, if anything happened that day... "Oh, that was the day we saw the homeless man on the bus". 

My thoughts and predictions. From last year when I was thinking what would happen when Pluto entered gate 41 for a month and a half. A lot of things. Have not worked out. The same with various political predictions of the years. Following on from the often zeal of other generally right wing perspectives. I have often thought the result would be better than it was.

Is hope spiritual?

But I woke up this morning, I found out at about 4am that Labour won Makerfield because I happened to be up then. (I didn't stay up for it, I woke up!) 

Faith, and it's weaker extension perhaps, hope. I have often thought of as a spiritually admirable quality. But what is being hoped for here?

There are many ways, MANY ways; this is the human condition I think. Of trying to go against free will. Trying to get around free will. 

I think one of the hopes I have, primarily of course, it's that things will get better in the larger sense of the term. Like, there will be jobs and such. The major goal for me, even though it is no longer possible I don't think. Is to have a lot of activity in music. Whether that be employed as a musician or not. But at least the free time to play and create music if I am not employed in that. And to have a wife and a few kids.  

But secondarily, in getting there, it is the impact on people that have a normie way of thinking that annoy me. In casual leftist viewpoints and things. And also, related but not the same. Skeptical viewpoints. Both the feeling of experiencing a greater reality, after "disclosure". And those people coming around to the understanding we live in a wider universe with extra terrestrials and everything. 

Acceptance.

But it seems to me, far from this whole thing. The idea of winning through the ballot box. The idea of that kind of real world change that impacts others. Is kind of anti the kind of spiritual that I am focused on. 

In the past few days my insights have basically stopped. I have been focused on the Makerfield election for several months. But the real world change... well, perhaps it is transcient.

I have never known precisely where to draw the line against 'transcient' information. Yes, you don't want to engage in what are the deep behaviours of the negative. To unnecessarily terrify yourself and reorient yourself to paying attention to that. But surely there should be some basic information that you do pay attention to?

My feeling, this morning, is that perhaps that is not true. I do not think I will be able to pull myself away from paying attention. I just don't have enough to do in my daily life, at this current time, to distract myself. But it is good to know, that even things like this, like elections, do come under the category of "transcient". It is good to know, that even when you cannot follow the ideal. What the ideal is. Then at least you can nudge it in the preferred direction. 

This morning, I feel far more comfortable actually focusing on the present moment.