The Manifestor Confusion.

This is the video I am going to think over today:

Youtube: Richard Beaumont: Manifestors Often Forget This ONE Thing!

https://youtu.be/lXaKiwKxSrY?si=QarCG5BN48mKLF92 

A few weeks ago I wrote a few blogs starting with this same persons video on the Generator and what it means to "build" a persons life.

I really really hoped that Richard would not do one for the Manifestor. But I realised he probably would since he did one on the Generator and Projector and I was still curious. What he goes with here is simply the Manifestors strategy, stated strategy, or what substitutes for strategy. I.e. 'To inform'. For the other two types he went into what he has generally noticed about them. NOT their strategy. But, I get the feeling he doesn't really get Manifestors. I could be wrong.

So here was the comment I put, and then deleted. On that same video:

I don't completely agree with this. I suspect that Ra Uru Hu found through trial and error this to be the most important thing but I don't know whether it applies to all Manifestors as the most important thing. You can do it and you will still get other challenges.

Firstly, a fundamental assumption of the human design that I don't think is correct. Is that if we do our strategy and authority everything will work out properly. I don't think this is the case. I think we have to negotiate with the world and understand it a fair bit.

Case in point. For two years I was at a workplace where all the people there hated me. They would arrange work do's every week and I was the only one excluded for two straight years. In that circumstance. Any effort I made within the group the energy would be lost. They would gossip about me and reliably find the worst interpretation of any of my actions. I was not able to get another job during this time until the end of that period. I personally asked them out a fair few times and no one came. It did not matter what I did or whether I informed. My energy would go into the group and was never going to manifest anything.

I think the fundamental point of Ra Uru Hu's guidance was to be aware that you cannot, as a Manifestor, really perceive others. I can't either. But, at the same time. That world is full of energy and things like attendance to heirarchy that WILL effect you. Potentially, I hypothesize that every Manifestor needs to find their own particular weak spot in this regard. For Ra Uru Hu it was informing/ the lack thereof, but for another Manifestor it might be something else.

I can get in vicious arguments with people and not feel any particular anxiety or consider that the other person is effected by this. I carefully record the things that lead up to these arguments to get more understanding to inform me in future situations. But this also includes wisdom other than informing. For instance, with that office group. I had to accept that I could not oppose them. That I did not have the power, as one individual, to oppose that small office of 20 people. I had to withdraw my energies from the fight.

Also, the human design assumes a fairly healthy society I think. The manifestor, in todays world, is not necessarily likely to meet Generators that are eager to carry out their wishes. Regardless of how intelligent or interesting their potential impacts are. This is because the world is obsessed with power and a lot of people do not want to do a single thing to yield power. They do not want you to be in a position of greater power than them so will not allow the conversation to go in that direction. If you want to offer something from the human design as an example. Something you know about and they do not, they will not accept it to maintain power. Some people, will not even open up to basic questions like basic enquiries into how they are because they don't want to yield power.

So this is perhaps why Manifestors want power. Perhaps we all want power on some level. But the Manifestor sees the lack of power as a barrier to being able to manifest because of the animal heirarchy.

I think with Projectors as well you simply take from them if they willing to offer. Like Robert Greene and the 48 Laws of Power. Some will not want to offer of course. But Projectors want to be valued so you simply use them to help you understand others and value them for that. Job done. A good role model of a Manifestor that uses certain personality skills to get on with others is the fictional character Patrick Jane in the Mentalist played by Manifestor Simon Baker.

Still in it's youtube formatting I see. 

I then realised, a little after writing this, that the need for power would go into this interaction as well. I had poured my energy into this but it would not get any likes or positive responses. Because it inherently, because it is truthful, takes apart the conceptions that aid peoples power. That is, passive aggressive spiritual egalitarianism. So there was no use in leaving it on the video. 

Like I said in this comment. One of the things I find with human design is that it tries to bypass the awareness of the very flawed world we live in. One that is mixed in its polarities. 

Another point here is that Richard himself is very unlikely to give such a comment a like because it would place me in the position of being superior at advising Manifestors. But Richard is the guy that runs the Human Design business. So it is literally against his business interests to respond positively to the post.

Also, Richard does not, I don't think, really know what he is talking about here. It is unlikely that he intuitively arrived at the conclusion of making this video. But did it because he didn't want to leave the Manifestors out of the video series. Also, because it is his business, he is meant to be an expert on each type. 

So in a sense he is making the video to create the impression, falsely, that he can talk about Manifestors. Which also convinces Manifestors to come to him. So he is doing what in the video he says is impossible. Trying to control the Manifestor. 

Inspiration. 

I have had insights from my recent reading of the Law of One and other general insights into the negative polarity. I am seeing it far more clearly recently. I am not sure I really want to talk about this as a subject. It does feel dark and uncomfortable. It might also be relevant though.

Just a general thought.  

Spiritual problems, part 2, faith.

Wow, as I have described recently in blogs. For no clear reason. I have suddenly gotten a lot of stress. This includes me having not been able to sleep for a few consecutive days and other unusual symptoms. 

I am going to make a physical change in massively decreasing the time I spend at the gym. I was starting to get some momentum and enjoy it. But I was not able to get the protein requirements, 150 grams at minimum, usually more. I strained myself a bit. Starting off with fewer exercises after stretching perhaps. 

But psychologically. I am putting together something that might have caused me psychological difficulty that would also be in common with others that are on the same kind of pathway as me. I.e. spiritual, challenged to practice faith I believe. And also, having a basic understanding in belief in sources like Q. 

Psychological dissolution.

Two things that have personally had me lose a kind of back up faith I had before.

One: I am looking for work. This is a very dark and thankless task. Full of annoying things and contradictions. I also have problems from my medical condition. Including bone thinning and other things that might restrict my ability to do physical work. My last job was in a call centre/ office or admin environment. Even though the people that worked there did not like my personality. Or lack thereof since I was quite ill at the time. The work itself were things I was very able to do. I was very organised and attentive to customers. 

I have been getting emails for a while with manual labour types of jobs though. Jobs on production lines and unloading shipping containers and things. Things I assumed I couldn't do. But if I was really against the wall. Those are the kinds of jobs I felt like I should try and do as a last resort. In my mind, I figured. These are the jobs that women are not interested in. The reason I am not able to get a job is partly that the economy is just destroyed. But also, partly. That women are considered superior in the current society, and prioritised for jobs in the current job market. There is a lot of proof of this. In America, non farm payrolls for August show something like 92% of new jobs go to women. 

I also know this from going to job interviews and as my name shortened is gender neutral. I got a lot less, a lot less, zero even, job interviews after I headed my CV with the full name showing I am a man not a woman. I got job interviews every so often with the ambiguous name. 

I talked to someone in my life and realised, that even though the bone thinning does restrict my movement. I am actually capable of doing most of the shelf stacking kind of movements. This was a surprise to me. It's strange how possibilities are just deleted from consideration after you have dismissed them for some reason. I also am going to the gym obviously. So I decided to try and get one of those jobs. Well, I contacted the recruiter that was putting out those kinds of jobs and yeah, it was not as smooth sailing as I thought. In fact. The recruiter kind of lied to me in the conversation. Saying he had a lot of jobs he keeps back but in fact, he wanted to set me up with an unsuitable one I had already seen, he was obviously trying to find people for as he has resent that email quite a few times.

I suddenly discovered that no, there were not a lot of manual labour jobs waiting to be done so long as I would actually agree to do them. This area is as difficult as the rest of the economy.  

The second point is just the general wear and tear of jobseeking. The whole thing is becoming more and more fake. The jobs seem more and more fake. I used to only apply within my town. It is a large city. Now I actually apply outside of that to jobs that there is no practical reason I would be prioritised over someone that lives closer and has any other number of other beneficial reasons to hire. Younger for instance. Female. 

The entire thing is really strongly feeling like a farce recently. The jobseekers pretend to jobsearch, but don't think they will get a job. Some of them don't want a job. The jobs put up fake jobs. I don't know why. But it is probably incentivised by the government somehow to not reveal how badly they have destroyed the economy. The job boards put up these jobs knowing they are fake and the (overworked) Job Centre workers also pretend to do their jobs. They know the situation so just pretend to be productive. The whole thing is fake from beginning to end, but it takes a huge deal of time and emotional energy. 

Taken together these two I think represent a bit of a shock to my system. It is the realisation of a lack of hope, even a grim hope. That was there before. It makes money saving more important. I think this might be the stress I was referring to.

Faith and Q.

Recently, the Trump organisation has been putting out a LOT of Q posts. One of them was Dan Scavino putting out an image that was posted on a Q post on a delta (so same day on an earlier year. Part of Q code!) Another delta was simply "Julian Assange" on September 14th. And on September 17th Julian Assange posted: "I'm back".

There were a lot more hints than just this. That the Q stuff is soon going to kick off.

Also, on a global level. Something weird is clearly happening. Saudi Arabia had a swarm of drones destroy some of their oil infrastructure. No one has claimed credit for this. Ukraine has destroyed a few oil refineries and Saudi's have told Europe they will not supply them for October. There have been several airport shutdowns in the UK. 

What this leads to, is that security in my own life has dissolved a bit. But faith in Q, and a larger political reality, has had to increase. And that is not easy.  

Spiritual update.

I thought my last three articles were quite good. This one, I think, will not be up to that standard. I think it is useful and relevant to people that generally consider themselves "on the spiritual path" as a general reminder. 

Firstly. I talked about NoFap recently. I have found that going forward. It is not my intention to go NoFap during very difficult periods. When I can get to the gym NoFap is easy and it will likely be easy with other things as well. But when for whatever reason, strain or illness, I am not consistently going to the gym. Lying around a lot getting sexual thoughts and then, getting physical pain from being turned on and it not going anywhere. Well, in those times I consider it healthier to just release that energy.

I have experienced a health issue recently. What makes this one different to the others is that... I have no idea why this is. I am good, as anyone with a health condition usually is, at theorising what issue created an unexpected problem, but not this time. I had about four days back to back of insomnia. I slept 3- 4 hours for 3-4 days and felt dreadful. I am not completely caught up yet. 

I am also physically strained. The strain hasn't left me. It is weird it just goes nowhere. I have been getting random spots and things. Tiredness and other health issues. 

At first, I thought this was a physical problem. But it appears not to be. Handling the physicality of things solves nothing. Now I am starting to think it is a spiritual issue.

It could in truth be many things. I have calculated a few psychological shocks recently that could have impacted me. To do with money, work, and other issues.

But what I have settled on. What does seem to bring results. Is that I have let my spiritual practices lag a bit. I have decided I need to get back to being more on it with things like prayer. I have not prayed twice a day for a long time. I have prayed once a day most days. But there is a zeal towards spirituality that I have not felt in a while. I also specifically stop prayer or doing anything when things go wrong. I have a poor tolerance for pain in that regard. But this is not the Law of One way. Carla carried on praying and doing affirmations, doing other things, while she was in a very bad state. 

I bring it up partially as I think this is a reminder to everyone. This is what priests are for. Just to re- remind us of the basics all the time. 

The types in context. 3rd and final part.

Following on from the 2 previous blog entries then.

Part 1 - I mentioned the proposition from a video that the human design Generator is here to 'build' their lives.

Part 2 - Through the medium of actors, I discussed the Projector, and how this differs from the Generators type. 

For this part. I want to extend out that same argument, and focus on Manifestors, of which there are few. 

Actor Manifestors:

• Anna Torv - Olivia Dunham - Fringe.
• John C McGinley - Dr Cox - Scrubs.
• Simon Baker - Patrick Jane - The Mentalist
• Jennifer Lawrence - A range of movies including The Hunger Games. 
• Jennifer Aniston - F.R.I.E.N.D.S and a few movies. I have not seen a lot of this woman. 
• Johnny Depp - Captain Jack Sparrow - Pirates of the Caribbean.  
• Chad Boswick - known from the Black Panther movies.
• Jodie Comer in Killing Eve. 

Here is the Black Panther Trailer for reference:

https://youtu.be/xjDjIWPwcPU?si=r3wLu18ahmo03g33 

And that's it. I was not kidding when I said they are thin on the ground. Not one of the charts I have done for Stargate, Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Angel, Star Trek DS9 or Voyager. I have typically done all of the actors in the past. More recently only a few. 

It is not known the reason obviously that Manifestors are kept out of these things. But firstly, what can we learn from these characters in general. What can we correlate here?

The first thing that sticks out to me is that each of these characters is specifically skilled. They are effectively 'set apart' from everyone else due to that skill. Anna Torv's character has special abilities and a photographic memory. Dr Cox is an extremely good medical practitioner that the other characters look up to. Simon Baker in the Mentalist shows a very eccentric and genius detective that solves crimes incredibly quickly. Even Captain Jack Sparrow is interesting because he is so good at escaping. 

I think this might be why the Manifestors are kept out of shows like 'Star Trek Voyager'. Voyager, in somewhat of a liberal fashion actually. (Although politics is missing from the show!) Has this idea that the competence of the characters does not effect the characters personality. In this way they all have the "respect" of being super competent. But they do not display these characteristics. Harry Kim is meant to be a genius but he is aggressively average. Tom Paris is meant to be a passionate, genius, rogue and he does not display a great deal of fire. 

Captain Janeway is a little convincing. But what it takes to be a real genius in a real meritocracy is... disagreeableness. This is because if you follow the data and get to decent points. Learn things. The way you know you have hit something that is important and real is if you tell it to someone "normal" and they say... "I don't agree with that because it doesn't feel right". 

The Dr Cox character is the best at what he does partly because he is so disagreeable. While J.D has a social life. He has priorities outside work. Dr Cox does not. 

Patrick Janes character is positively rude and acerbic to most people. He is kind of refined and polite. But then if he needs to catch people will just run roughshod over people for strategic reasons. Including being extremely insulting. He goes to sleep on shift and does what he likes. Since he gets results, people have to put up with it. 

These features are simply not good for a Star Trek show. Firstly, someone bringing in the concept of effectiveness and competence. Is not useful when most of the characters have a claim to status which is them speaking about 'warp plasma manifolds' and such things. Gobbledegook to us then. But they have to sell it. 

Another element I think is interesting is that each of these characters has an extremely, visceral violent aspect to their story. We saw the Chad Boseman character in that trailer. But Patrick Jane introduces us to Red John. Dr Cox introduces us to dark themes including the many patients dying from organ transplant and the guilt that followed, his character is noticeably darker than almost everyone else on that show, we do not see one other character resentfully drinking whiskey. Fringe is about a secretive group setting off chemical weapons to kill people horribly. The Hunger Games also has this kind of nastiness to it. 

This is something I don't see in the Projectors so much. Kevin Sorbo's Hercules was only ever facing humorous opponents. Aside from perhaps Teal'c, not one of the Projectors was facing this kind of visceral nastiness as an opponent. It makes me think that part of the Manifestors energy is a kind of "fighter" energy. I suppose if anger is your not- self theme. Then that would be likely! This is a noticeable difference to the Projector heroes journey of a sorts. Not one of these Manifestor characters has to fight for dignity. To articulate some sort of feeling that is important. They are struggling against an external foe.

Pulling this together then, what I think Manifestors might be, is "knowledge workers". Patrick Jane has a huge set of knowledge about how people operate. Dr Cox has an expertise. it might not be so obvious with other characters as in other characters have status that is not so earned (Black Panther and Olivia Dunham). But I think in energy terms. The Manifestor is focused on information. Which is why they are not so focused on people. 

Just one more thing then is how does the Manifestor focus on career and relationship? Since these are directly building things. We can go to real world people for this and I don't see a huge difference between this and the Generator way of interacting. Barbara O'Neill has four kids. Jordan Peterson has a family and thriving career. 

Come to think of it. I do not see a huge difference in Projectors either. Gad Saad. Hillary Crowder. Katie Hopkins. Nigel Farage. Rene Girard.

So it is a theory. The Human Design is largely subjective I think. A lot of what is experienced is not easily proven. It could be that Generators experience going for real world goals. Projectors have heroes journeys where they seek validation. And Manifestors are knowledge workers that have to apply that knowledge to the real messy world. That these are different energy pathways.

Or it could be that there is no difference. That each type can be described as building it's life in the same way.  

The types in context. Part 2.

In my preceeding post I started with a video from a Human Design creator. Who talked about how a Generators energy in life 'builds' the life around them. It started me thinking, if the same could be said of non sacral types and if not. How would we describe how the non sacral type operates? The normal model of how we interact. Get a job, find a partner, settle down. Is applicable to pretty much everyone in this world I think. Manifestors and Projectors still get jobs and have children. So how would we describe their position other than "building"?

To talk about this subject. To think it through. I have been using actors Human Design charts. The characters of specific actors I have found to be the same as the Human Design chart of the people playing them. I could write theories as to why this is. But I feel that would be redundant. The pattern is unbelievably clear in my view.

It is also clear many times before running the charts if you know what to look for.  

To contrast against the Generator then. This post will focus on Projectors. Using actor Projectors to gain insight. Then the next post will talk about Manifestors and probably wrap up the post. 

Going through my list of saved chart. There are LOADS, loads of Generator type. In my saved list under 'Andrew' there are five names. Just that one name. All Generators. I have to scroll quite far before I find many Projectors. And the Projectors I have found are themselves several times more than the smattering of names I have that are Manifestors.

Anyway, here is the list:

• Captain Jean Luc Picard played by Patrick Swayze in Star Trek The Next Generation.  
• Deanna Troi played by Marina Sirtis in Star Trek The Next Generation.
• Ensign Rowe played by Michelle Forbes in Star Trek The Next Generation. 
• Captain Benjamin Sisko played by Avery Brooks in Star Trek Deep Space Nine. 
• Lucifer played by Mark Pellegrino in Supernatural.
• Six played by Tricia Helfer in Battlestar Galactica.
• Moraine played by Rosamund Pike in The Wheel of Time. 
• Robert Picardo as 'Doctor' in Star Trek Voyager.
• Hercules played by Kevin Sorbo in Hercules the Legendary Journeys.
• Teal'c played by Christopher Judge in Stargate SG-1.

I would say that these characters all have more of a 'heroes journey' than the Generator characters in these TV shows. We do not see a great deal of 'heroes journey' from Miles O'Brien or Julian Bashir. We see heroic feats. But their story does not revolve around those things. Their story is very much the life they are trying to build. Julian and his efforts at romance. Miles as chief engineer and his various adventures with his war history and his family. The same with Neelix, or Seven of Nine or Captain Janeway. These characters do have journeys and sometimes they are classic hero journeys. Like Worfs. But it is rare. 

Benjamin Sisko, Hercules, Teal'c and Doctor are all on a very classical heroes journey. We do not really see them struggling with dating in the same way as the Generator types. Such as Tom Paris and B'elanna in Voyager.  We see them go on a heroes journey that sometimes, but not always, eventually includes a partner. Benjamin Sisko kind of 'fell' into this romance with Cassidy Yates.

A similar thing with Deanna Troi. Deanna is a perfect example of a Generator. It is what Generators do in their ideal world with a Projector. They put her on the bridge as a counsellor and telepath and she proves her usefulness by reading people in general. 

This classic Projector pattern of managing the Generators energy is very strong here. In Supernatural, the main two characters are very male Generators. Lucifers character is technically an angel. So he has to rely on free will (unlike demons). He has enormous power, fantastic power in the first five seasons. But since free will cannot be abridged, he works by manipulating them. By being on the side lines and manipulating their energy. 

Teal'c's character. Although classic hero. Is very often in a guidance position. The crew are often asking him questions to which he replies often humorously. His character precisely apes Hercules in that when he goes to live alone he gets in trouble for helping out with everyones problems. Defending people from gangs and such like that. Or you see the other SG team members going to see him when he is meditating for spiritual guidance, as happened a few times. 

Most of these characters at some point or other. Articulate their struggle in a way that sucks people in to a kind of heroes journey narrative. Ensign Rowe and Jean Luc Picard in Picard Season 3. Having to fight for recognition. The Doctor has to fight for recognition and rights as a hologram. Teal'c often has to confess to some deep dark secret in his past. Which is not precisely the same thing. But the whole journey of expressing "I feel this, this is important", is relevant. And it is not the same as the more physical victories the Generator characters have. Such as Julian Bashir when he settles down with Ezri Dax. 

What it seems to me here is that while the Generators have a defined real world goal. Captain Janeway wants to get home. Julian Bashir wants a girlfriend and a successful career. Data wants to become human. Even if it sneaks up on them. For the Projector characters. They kind of 'just are'. But then they have to undergo a fight that they usually didn't choose. Doctor does not struggle to specifically get a girlfriend or career. But then he is put upon to defend his right to self determination. 

In the Manifestor section I am going to make the point that in these shows they do often settle down, but the other half of them has to tolerate the eccentricities that come from their particular "mission". That the other partner (as being relevant to "building a family") seems often to do more of the work. (Like Jordan in Scrubs with Dr Cox, even though the thing was played as a joke of her being so difficult. If you actually take what happened. She is the one that worked on him). 

I am not even sure what the pattern is here with the Projectors. As regards to family life or career. Things you "build". Very few of these characters even have those things. The point here seems to be their ability to relate to others and the "heroes journey" they are on. 

The types in context. Part 1.

Wow, I have done a lot of stuff for me. I realise that it is not necessarily a great deal for others. But what with my reduced physical health it was very productive. Yesterday, from 1 am through to 7pm. I was on my feet doing stuff all day. Washing, Laundry, a lot of cooking, walking the dog. 

This is relevant because it is a potential benefit from the self improvement attempt I was mentioning in the last post. I.e. the energy increase might have been from NoFap, and from the gym in general. Even though I did not go to the gym on this day despite wanting to. I did some visualised gym instead. Apparently it's good for the muscles! I actually felt like the visualised gym tired me out a bit, as pathetic as that sounds! 

I wanted to mention this all around good video:

Youtube: Richard Beaumont: Generators Often Forget This ONE Thing.

https://youtu.be/RoG8Qi1thkw?si=yZjEjfIJvoJrlBjs 

I made a comment about a friend of mine on this video, a pure Generator. This friend is self employed and spends a lot of his time doing labouring kind of work. Heavy physical work. Not like... building site. Bricklaying or anything. But... almost that. Plenty of hammering things, climbing ladders etc.

After the amount of exercise I did yesterday I will need an entire day to recover. I find by checking myself. I have already done prayers. I will need more sleep or just lying down, meditation. Etc. But the food is prepared that allows me to do that. The guy I just mentioned would not need to rest the next day after that amount of work. Or far higher levels of physical work. In fact, he habitually does not have the next day off after those levels of physical work. He habitually does energetically demanding things after work. 

One of the things that I love about the Human Design is that it continually brings attention to a fact that is very basic. But also, unbelievably profound, and something that for some reason we tend to not reflexively consider. People are so different to us. It allows a great deal of stuff. Like, it allows me to consider others more favourably who lack the qualities I do have! In my chart is, (unsurprisingly), a great amount of cerebral energy, a great amount of will power that has throat access. 

This is an extremely positive thought direction I think. This counteracts some of the patterns of my childhood I have identified. It would seem to me to counteract a lot of messed up patterns in life. For instance, envy and jealousy. For people to feel and really value what they are, as read from the chart, would make them less envious of others! 

Homogenisation.

Also, as I think of my life. I realise that this is a value that I have absorbed as well. The homogenised viewpoint is a kind of "best of all types" approach. But the results of none of them. Let me explain. The mainstream view is a kind of Thatcherite perspective of 'just go out and make it happen' in relation to work say. But also, if you watch any movies and things. The characters are predictably Generators. So they are building their lives in a very standard kind of way. The romance, the this and that of work. The conflict and resolution. Building is happening (romance, music focused). Or has happened in the past but is now partially destroyed (action hero movies). So the mainstream also wants you to be a 'builder'.

I have noticed previously that Manifestor actors are extraordinarily rare. They are less shown in TV shows than in the rest of the population per capita. In fact, I can name one in a TV show at the moment of this writing. I have done the charts of most of the actors in shows like Star Trek Deep Space Nine and Star Trek Voyager. All Generators, with a few Projectors (such as Benjamin Sisko from DS9). They act and feel like generators as well. People can only act like a character that is their same type because... what else is there? There is nothing else to draw from but their own energy. But Star Trek gets a lot of its appeal from the tribal, animalistic way the senior staff are "bonded" together. You can see it in those shows. You can see how all the Voyager crew how Generator and animalistic like they all are. Odo, chief O'Brien from DS9, etc. 

I will go into what we can learn from the very few Manifestors on TV. But why is this? It could be one of two things I suppose. Either Manifestors in general cannot tolerate the groupthink of liberal Hollywood, and so the actors are ostracised. Or, and I prefer this interpretation. The scripts intuitively do not accommodate the kind of characters a Manifestor naturally takes to. 

So the exceptions. John McGinley from Scrubs. This character is known to be a loner, hostile, and kind of aggressive. I was talking to a really unpleasant and passive aggressive person on Stefan Molyneuxs twitter recently, and I finally applied one of that characters dressing down insult sessions in a good context:

"Wow, that's intelligent. You have the brain power to light up a city. Not a real city mind you. But definitely an ant city whose government has recently passed a set of stringent energy conservation laws".

I wonder if that is one of those things I find funny that no one else really does. I cracked up re- writing that. It is so unneccessarily petty!

Other examples are Johnny Depp. For instance, in Pirates of the Caribbean. Another would be Chad Boswick of Black Panther. 

This article is part one I realise because. I need to go to bed.  I also realise that there is more I need to say on this since I need to bring in the Projector. So it will be longer than I expected. The ultimate point I am trying to get to is plotting out the position of the Projector and the Manifestor if the Generators are the builders as said in this video.

Continued self improvement.

At the moment. I have experienced what might be one of the future things that "works" in relation to self improvement. 

It's embarrassing to talk about. But it should be mentioned if it is working I believe. Since I have been going to the gym I have not been masturbating. Part of this was likely I had two weeks where my medication was off and was kind of ill. But also, just going to the gym exhausted me and stopped me thinking about the entire area. 

I do not use porn. As the UK government has put in laws that mean you have to give them your ID and such to watch porn (also smut stories on Reddit). I did not see any particular problem with it when I did watch it. But since coming off it there was an improvement in my thoughts. One that showed up after about 6 months and not a day before. 

One of the insights that I got from doing the gym a lot and not masturbating was that the best way to not do it is to... Not do it. Not even think about it. Not even edge (A process of thinking of sex and engaging a little bit physically but without the intention of going the entire way). Before, borrowing from a line in the Law of One, something like "we have found it inappropriate in the extreme to encourage the cessation of these thoughts". I always thought it was unhealthy to completely not think of the area, as it represents a kind of repression. The Law of One talked a lot about how repression is a tool of the negative polarity. They specifically mentioned repressing the sex drive.

But, to get success in this area. To successfully do NoFap. I realise that just not thinking about it. Not edging or engaging at all. Is, in fact, the answer! 

There are changes already. It has been about 20 days. To fully go into the changes I don't think would be suitable for this blog, due to length and the subtlety of some of them. But one of them that I have noticed, is that my dreams have people in them more. They have within them more of the kinds of conflicts I experience in life. My dreams normally are kind of unattached. I will go to this place, then float to that place, drive a car. People are only involved tangentially. Like, going into a class room with a bunch of people. Going to a sink and the teacher comes over briefly, maybe asks me if I am using the basin and goes away again. Not real interactions. But today, and before when I have done NoFap. I had a dream that included other people and a very specific, engaged interaction that I would have with others. The idea that I would engage in this and the dreams would provide some sort of answer would be amazing. I can feel the problem thinking of it, (I can remember the feeling of those types of interactions) and in feeling terms, I don't have a solution (so when I have experienced x problem as a feeling, I have not had an accompanying feeling that lead to an action that solved the problem).

This could also provide a general feeling of socialising from my dreams that might make me seem more comfortable socialising in my daily life.  

Nothing else to say massively. My self and viewpoints are changing with this changed attitude to my health. Grounding is a thing I get from NoFap. But also a thing I have strongly gotten from exercise. Going to the gym and doing weights. Grounding is very important. But my viewpoints have changed a bit with all this exercise. Things I thought were problems. Or things that I started to make complex mental models of, planning to write a blog on them. Have revealed themselves to either be irrelevant, and/ or uninteresting, while I am constructing the blog in my mind. So I am writing less blogs.