Predators. Victims. Things to think over.

Some conflicting viewpoints going around in my mind. As with most conflicting viewpoints. The answer is probably exasperatingly in the middle. The eternal "balancing" and all that.

Youtube: Royal City Church: Exposed: The Sin Behind Your Morality: Pastor Andrew Carter. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaGSLLYi8Uc

The world is full of a lot of different theories. With my very non traditional beliefs. From people like Paul Wallis and Aaron Abke. I don't believe in some of the fundamentals of current Christian thought. Some of the things that are very fundamental.

But, as I mature, I feel I am starting to grip a makeshift tolerance. In the world, I have observed that people that have beliefs that do not make sense to me. Like deep skepticism of new age thought. Or mainstream Christianity. Nevertheless provide a lot of "Service to Others". 

To me, the way it seems to work. Is that people grip some kind of belief system that is service to others. And then, they add their intention to it to do good. And basically twist most of the belief system to legitimate service to others.

The Protestant (unlike the Catholic) religion is strongly anti any kind of salvation by works doctrine. It is purely salvation by faith which means technically, a purely technical argument. Is that you could murder in cold blood and for not good reason every single day, but as long as you believe, or claim to believe, you have given your heart to Jesus. You are all good. But even in this video Andrew does not hold a line as hard as that. 

The point that I wanted to gain from this and that I am thinking over. Is that it summarises a belief that we can never really know what is going on inside another. The example given was that there was a very charismatic character in a town at one point. People trusted him with their kids. His name was John Wayne Gacie. A prolific serial killer. 

Youtube: Pearl Davis: Betrayal is Internal and Has Nothing to do With You. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb2UfCnbqRE

I've talked about this woman before. I have heard a lot of very profound things from her. Her platform really seeks to, in humorous fashion sometimes including ridicule. Really show up a lot of female manipulation and such. The trouble is, with all female creators in this kind of area. Is often their very presence goes against their own argument. Pearls wisdom in a lot of these videos, I think, is quite good. 

But this is the other perspective to take here. In this video. She talks about dealing with people and some patterns she has observed in the real world. 

A lot of the time we just have to observe the way people are in the real world. 

Real experience: 

One thing I have gained from Davids recent behaviour. Is that, as the stories come out about what he was living through. He really was a victim.

I spent a lot of my young life obsessed with his narrative and his materials. I wondered today if, on the subconscious level, I had perceived that this had threatened my friendships when young and if I was angry about that. It is a strange thing to consider having had a completely subconscious insight that I have not been aware of before, and having some emotion around that. 

I still feel rage that I was lied to. Which is something I obviously need to come to terms with. I believed he had real insiders. He did not have real insiders. So that is a kind of aggressive act against me. 

But as the stories come out. It shows that David does seem to have been a victim. He spent ten hours on the phone a lot of days with a friend of his. He lost absolutely millions to Stavatti. And as Jay Weidner is apparently about to chronical, Corey Goode also had a lot of psychological hold over him. 

It is an important thing to have a concept for dealing with manipulators and seriously toxic individuals. But it seems to me possible that there are legitimate victims who do appear like predators. 

It is not clear whether the whole area is more complex than can be understood, and is only really up to God to understand. Like the Christian view I talked about. Or if the continual processing of catalyst, can lead to some sort of understanding beyond my initial understanding. 

Just stuff to think over.  

Experiences with suicidal people.

I realise, the way my emotions are going. I'm probably going to be talking about David a little. I feel that this is boring to readers. But the thing is with writing. Is that if you sit down to write a blog and only one subject is in your mind. You can't write anything else. There is a bottleneck effect in many things in this way. 

I suppose the only other option is to not post. 

When are you going to get the money? 

I read from John Christian Spadavecchia (impossible name to spell, that!) That a percentage of Davids income from both any courses he did, went to Chris Beskar. 

When David made his last call to the police department. One of the things that he said is that he was living in poverty and could not eat. 

So effectively what was happening was that every bit of money David had was going to Chris. But that also means that if any of his friends and family gave him money, or even food. They would be indirectly funding Chris Beskar.

It seems to me that David died from a pure stubborn refusal to stop giving his money to that parasite. There can't have been any compelling legal reason for David to give money to Beskar. Since David was not getting anything back from Stavatti despite investing millions of dollars. That means that any contract that the two had, Beskar was in default. Beskars position could be legally challenged. But it doesn't sound like there was a legal situation like that because David had given a whole bunch of money up until that point without any such agreement. 

Comparison to personal situation. 

It brings up memories an older, very similar situation in my personal life. 

I became very close friends with a woman over lockdown. She had serious mental health issues. She had a lot of trouble sleeping. I would talk to her everyday and see her physically a lot. 

A lot of her friends had flatly abandoned her. People that she had thought her friends. That had been friends over decades. Had suddenly stopped seeing her. People over that period, who obeyed authority completely and stopped seeing others, obviously believe there will be no karmic consequence for that. According to the outward evidence, I cannot yet disagree with that. 

She was effectively all alone, but I did see her. Why did I see her? Because I don't have the same political beliefs as all those people. I didn't slightly care about any of the COVID restrictions. The only ones I did pay attention to were the ones that I had to. Like, I had to have a mask. Just to make my life easier. But the second the all seeing eyes was off me I just did what I wanted. It was not a serious thing to me. 

This put her in a bit of a bind as lockdown ended. I was very vocal about my political beliefs at the time. Which I attribute partly to my medical condition. But I was not cool in that sense. I was someone that was inconvenient to hang around. Because she did not like those political beliefs. She liked leftist political beliefs more and was angry I had those. And would specifically mention that her friends had discussed this and disliked my political beliefs. 

I intended to go into this more deeply. But I realised I can summarise it more here. Her decision at this point was to jump into the arms of these friends. The kinds of people that would ignore her in lockdown. Some that did, some that she had not known before lockdown, but would do. And she got nasty/ passive aggressive with me. 

This very much cornered her. Because some of those leftists that she began hanging around with. Were abusive. And she was in an extremely fragile state. I don't know the half of it but suspect this was pretty bad. Including emotional blackmail. She got nastier and nastier with me and... literally... why would I put up with that? Seriously, even if I had known the eventual result. I would not have stayed friends with her. The connection seemed to have no healthy parts of a friendship left. She had sided, conclusively, with people that were open enemies to me.

To be clear, I don't even think being super loyal to me would have been her way out of the situation. She probably needed to go live home with her mother since she couldn't do basic things. She disliked living with her mother because her mother lived too far away from Beachy Head. But in the lack of showing the integrity of some sort of loyalty to me. She, of her own volition, got involved with abusive people. That was her choice and not one she needed to make. Since me and her had no problem that was initiated from my side.  

Free will. 

You know. People have free will. I'm sure if David had said to anyone around him. "You know what, I don't think Stavatti is on the level. I used my great detective skills and super intelligent mind to discern that". I'm sure the many people giving him advice would have said. "You know what, you're probably right!" In a far more emphatic way. "This is how you exit this situation now!"

It is hard to sympathise with these people when they are making such clear decisions in self destructive directions. 

When someone dies in this way. There is often some sort of effort to promote the idea of them as a completely innocent victim. Perhaps this is partly a 'don't speak ill of the dead' thing. But, in life we need to recognise patterns and use what we experience to avoid future dangers and problems. We cannot do that if we are not analysing, with a critical mind, situations like this. 

The fact is, that David made these decisions. I'm sure, being in a room with Chris. Is an extremely frightening thing. There is a certain fear that happens in the presence of sociopaths and malicious intent, that you don't get with even life threatening things that do not have any particular intent. It is a deep and unpleasant fear. 

Maybe my viewpoint here is uninformed. One of the not inconsiderable benefits of not having high status is not having to deal with people out to screw you for whatever benefit comes with high status. People intending to prey on whatever psychological weakness a person happens to have. 

Deeper demonic things.

This though, is what I attribute Davids problems to. It is quite clear from a lot that was said about him that, for a long time, he was coming apart psychologically. It is from a Reddit post I wrote. And explains to me, why Wynn Free, also died at the same time:

For me, the way I look at it is that he was probably influenced by something very negative very early on. I think his forays into the positive protected him a little. But eventually the negative won out. From my experience having a "compulsive" belief I was Don Elkins in a past life (and later on a schizophrenic break and suicide attempt). I think how this happens is that the negative can lay the foundation for that kind of belief, through a lot of stress, and then when the person believes that they were the relevant past life character. They set up an internalised object (from Internal Family Systems) of that character. That can then speak to the person from the negative entity whenever it wants. This then feeds into the subconscious and creates a lot of the things David described. Like having strong dreams that he should be part of Stavatti.

It's "very clever". Because it all feels rather compulsive, positive and internal once the person is hooked in.

But more to your point. From a Law of One perspective obviously, there is a certain charge to doing things like reading the entire Law of One, then committing wholesale to "transcient" subject. Which yes David could very well have drawn afoul of; and is all part of the same story obviously. He could have taken a very different route early on if he had studied the Law of One more seriously.

But had he done that, he would not have associated with Corey either. "As above so below".

I recall there was one moment where he went on holiday and had a dream that people were robbing him. He seemed just close to getting it but then he goes: "Anyway, Stavatti will be getting the money soon". He missed very obvious sign posts. So he was obviously getting a consequence to requesting the information. Talking and teaching on it. But not paying attention to his own dream guidance and such.

For me the original trigger was probably bad health (a serious health condition) pressing on my brain in a way that I was not aware of. For David, it might have been that he got involved in strong psychedelics when he was very young. Like, completely zoned out on mushrooms as a teenager because he stole those drugs from his parents.

This post is marked down to -1 on Reddit. Another one discussing similar powerful inner dynamics is at -7. People on the Law of One reddit keep marking down my posts and then getting upset when I say I do not intend to post there a lot. I only went back to the Law of One Reddit forum to post on David and will not post on any new threads there. Only respond if I have posted on one already made. 

Short ramble.

Just at this moment. My mind has stopped being able to do the things I usually like doing. Because of this David Wilcock thing.

I can't consciously access any particular thoughts on him. But I know that my mind is working on him. So I can't do the normal things I do. Like read the Law of One, the 48 Laws of Power, or another book on Jupiter I have by Liz Greene. I have an instinct that I can get back into that kind of thinking through the right route. Perhaps Human Design. (Perhaps because I can also work on Davids chart, and my own chart, with the emotional elements) But getting back to that kind of thinking of having insights is not as clear as it was before. 

My "internal image" of David has to be updated.  

Also, at the moment, I am feeling a vague kind of frustration. I am close to the end of watching one of the best shows I have ever seen in my life. Person of Interest. The storyline focuses on an AI and it is very intellectual, powerful, adult and layered. 

But reading up on it. I find that like almost every show I have ever watched and enjoyed. It was stopped prematurely for money reasons. It feels a little frustrating. Fiction and science fiction books have been nuked by DEI. Straight white men cannot write books anymore due to Karens in the publishing houses. So any book you see will be written by women. Who have not deserved the place. They are "DEI hires". And women usually write smut anyway. Science fiction now has way more smut in it.

TV shows have this issue. Where because of the demands of the money people. Shows are chopped and changed around and the writers are given contradictory messages. Told there will be six seasons more, then ending it after two seasons (Last two seasons of Stargate SG-1). Fringe had a similar story. It is a similar story with virtually every show.  

I have done well though, with daily meditation and prayer, and some medication. Also, coming off caffeine. To be in a constantly kind of clear state. Which leads me to the question of what exactly can be done with my intellect? 

I think, for me, David's Q- positive narrative meant that I believed the main real world will sort itself out and I do not have to bother with that so much. But his death has meant that suddenly I am not seeing it like that and suddenly I am thinking through ways I could have or should impact the world. This will probably lead to a lot of personal insight. 

Wilcock bites the dust.

So, David Wilcock is reported to have taken his life by shooting himself in the head on the 20th of April. The news has just filtered through to X. 

The type of readers that MAY follow me, from places like the Law of One forum. Even going back a few years. But also might not. Would be interested in that. 

For me, a lot of people are saying how tragic this is. I don't know if I agree with that. I do not think it is explicitly not tragic. But, at the same time. The guy was a bit of a mess, and he had taken a lot of decisions that harmed others. Like financial fraud. 

Even though we don't like to hear of someone doing that when we think they could have gotten out of it another way. It is also true that we live in a world of consequences. Many, many of us want people to experience consequences for their actions. And sometimes this is what that looks like. People have free will, and they can choose to not face consequences, whatever that looks like, when those consequences come knocking. 

David could have removed from Stavatti, sold his house, paid the IRS. But he did not want to do that. We do not know if he ever faced the fact Chris Beskar and Stavatti were lying to him. But he did not want to face those consequences. Did not want to admit that he was wrong. That he had been channeling something nonsensical of even negative. 

He could, of course, not have been in a good frame of mind. He had become extremely schizophrenic. We do not, as a society, actually have resources to help people in that position. I had a family member temporarily committed and he had to pull a patient off an unconscious nurse whom he had just hit and wanted to finish the job, and that was not the only problem. 

I did not know David personally. But I have had the suicide of someone I have known personally. And what I have learned from that situation is that there are never any good, satisfying answers. The people that have the answers, if there are any, will probably not share them. The person doing the suicide, doesn't think their thoughts are interesting enough for anyone to listen to, and they are not always that coherent anyway. Plus, real life is quite complicated. There might be several different reasons. Like, when you are stressed in life you often can't see the real problem, but with hindsight it becomes very obvious. Even if we knew the reason given it would not necessarily satisfy the part of us that questions. 

It is still a bit of a shock though. I had followed David when I was young and that kind of familiarity never goes away completely. I found him before I found the Law of One, I think around when I was 14 years old. When my brain was still forming. More recently, when I would feel myself falling back into his crazy orbit I would go on his detractors a lot. To re- remind myself of the world as it really is. 

Maybe karma.

When I find my microphone. I will do a youtube video on my thoughts on the archetypes. Focusing on how, before the veil, the 9 archetypes were only Matrix, Potentiator and Significator. Now we have the 21, and what the change, what the added extra archetypes, mean. What we can draw from the veiled situation creating those additional archetypes. 

But like I said, I will keep a lot of that away from the blog. Too in depth. 

For me, my health is in a good place from medication that I can finally come off caffeine and oh my god I am tired. I am tired all day. BUT, for the first time in months I am able to sleep AT NIGHT. It seems like the caffeine really was screwing with my circadian rhythm. I need a few days of sleeping at night. At the moment I sleep but I still feel tired in the day. 

There is a strange thing that has happened in England recently. Something that part of me does not want to really talk about. Since, as I have clearly stated, I am not a left wing person. I do not believe in the centralisation of state power and such. I do think Stefan Molyneux, who does not believe in government at all, has got it all right in terms of philosophy. 

However, in the UK there is now a renters bill. During my time I have seen quite disgusting behaviour from landlords. Charging people for things they did not do. Raising rent on people that can't afford it. Allowing problems like mold to stay in houses. A lot of houses have a real attitude about people on 'welfare'. Or who have pets. - I have seen a lot of cases where people had to throw out pets because a new landlord would not have them. 

Rather like how the tech bros in California, who had been promoting leftism for decades. Suddenly got upset when they were getting taxed huge rates. Some pushback on the constant behaviour of landlords is welcome in my view. 

I am not saying I agree with it. Or that I have looked carefully at the other side. I am just saying, that from a lot of individual cases I have seen. It is really highly positive. So many animals will no longer be put to death because of this. And animals, pets, can really add a lot of peoples lives. They can alleviate the most crushing loneliness and misery.  

Luckily, I personally am not a philosopher. Philosophy DOES have to have some sort of opinion on things like property rights. So it's just one of those interesting things I observe as I get on with the rest of my life.  

Piercing archetypes.

I have moved on a bit with my understanding, from the Law of One, on archetypes. It is hard work, I would say. It is hard mental work. Some of the lines I read I'm like... "Ah... I'll need a day to absorb that." In the later sessions, the insights like that would be almost every line. I can see why Don might have had trouble integrating all of that learning. 

But there is a problem with this. I am worrying a little about free will all of a sudden. I do not want to express many of my thoughts on it here. I might carry on with a few youtube videos on the Law of One and major arcana. But videos can only convey basic information - and they make things seem simple. The kind of information that could be conveyed via blogging, which includes a deeper emotional communication. I don't think would be OK to explain at this moment. 

There is a line in the Law of One that says something like if you study the archetypes you can really screw with peoples free will. Because of this, when I am out walking, I am starting to flip between different archetypes. But when I am with someone, I don't even allow my thoughts to go there. I think I am in the Significator most of the time. But I get moments and insights from the other two I have thought over (Matrix and Potentiator). How all these link together can also be run via the Human Design in general, and mine or others human design. So I had an insight yesterday about how one of the hexagrams from the Matrix of the Mind, gate 21, feeds directly into the Significator of the mind gate 45. 

It kind of makes sense how you can mess with someones free will with this. Because if my human design links with someone elses human design. Then if I move into a new archetype and emphasize something different. This can then link to their human design. A lot of these connections are kind of compulsive. 

But, the real world is also a thing. These concepts are interesting. But the real world is... also important. 

I do not know yet what real world application this information will have. But one thing I have brought recently is "The 48 Laws of Power."  

When I first learned about this book I had the assumption that it was like "service to self" guidebook. But there are a lot of books that are dressed up in that kind of language that are not really that. The real service to self books. Like Saul Aulinsky's "Rules for Radicals". Are not that. 

Anything politically left is the service to self, and I believe it to be the first stop for students of that polarity. Pol Pot, the leader of the Khmer Rouge. Studied at the Frankfurt school; and used explicitly that wisdom in his genocides.

What I think the book is, is that a lot of generally positive people are out there swimming with the sharks. A lot of times, nothing other than that kind of wisdom and tactics is useful. 

The strictly positive, Law of One linked wisdom. Seems to have pretty much no tactics against things such as social sabotage. 

Law 2: Never put too much trust in friends, learn to use your enemies: I have been so screwed over by people close to me, for perhaps jealousy based reasons as is discussed. 

Law 10: Infection, avoid the unhappy, and the unlucky: This talks about how people who are kind of downers should be avoided. It is reflected in Stefan Molyneux's narrative. Avoid the divorced because they are a negativity that creates more divorces. 

Law 40: Despise the free lunch: I once heard a woman tell me how she never let a man pay for the first date because then if she decided to sleep with him, she knew it was for herself not a sense of obligation. This is a practical step known in the middle class. 

A lot of the laws sound far more "Machiavellian". To use a probably misunderstood term. But the entire thought process. If you are not familiar with it. Can also link you in to what might be going on around you in day to day office running. 

Anyway, weird times for me. Medication and health success. But intensely so.  

Learning the lessons.

I have been having successes. In my spiritual life. 

One insight I have been having for a while. Is that when you are kind of stuck. When you can't seem to move to improve anything because a movement in one direction. Will seem to get a response from the Universe to immediately prevent that improvement. A good thing to do is just to focus on one thing.

When there is a lot that needs to be improved. It is very easy to think you can do about five different things daily to improve it. However, generally if you do those five things. You will get overwhelmed and not do any of them. It will all get too intense. 

Also, almost the same thing but just a little different. When you do do something that is working. Say, meditation is working. Then it is easy to start to feel better, think you have a bit more energy, and want to add another additional improvement. Which is part of the same trap. An additional improvement will come. But it won't be added on as a thing just to improve some outcome. It will tend to come as a deep, spiritual realisation that a thing obviously needs to be changed and should have been changed for a long time. 

That's where I am. Meditation is the single thing I am doing every day. The second thing I think will improve a lot of different life outcomes is: coming off caffeine, completely.

I have had a long set of problems coming off caffeine previously. When I was in my twenties. I used to drink a 2 litre bottle or more, of diet coke every day. I would read a book by Stephen Cherniske. Caffeine Blues. Which went through a lot of studies to explain peoples physiological response to caffeine, and that it is actually a serious drug.

I did come off it. But as I have learned more about my health and improved said health. Including putting less pressure on my liver (through technological health improvements). I have thought that maybe it would be OK to go back on it. Maybe my previous bad reaction was part of my general ill health.

But now, I do not think this is the right choice for me:

My Personality Chiron placement in the Human Design: 12.5: The Success of Restraint lies in not abandoning the lessons learnt when the phase ends. 

My personality Saturn placement: 5.4. This will need a bit more explaining because I'm still not quite sure what it means. I'll also quote more. The blue line: Waiting as a guarantee of survival. Exalted: The power to make the best of ones fixed rhythms. Detriment: The drive to deny one's own fixed rhythm with predictable costs.

In general, the entirety of gate 5 is about that. About rhythms and such. 

I do not know precisely what this could be. But the way that caffeine is messing with my rhythms at the moment. I think at least. Is that it is easier to ignore your light/ dark circadian rhythm, if you have a chemical to help you do that. What is indicated to be about will power is actually to do with material substances potentially. 

I don't know of course that is it. It might be that my fixed rhythm is the eccentric rhythm of not sleeping at a normal time. I don't know what my sleep pattern is without caffeine. But I suspect, that I am using caffeine in order to DENY my own fixed rhythm. Which is the detriment of this. 

We all have similar demons of course. I am an unbelievably sensitive person when it comes to any drug. I used to know a guy that, when I slept around his house, he would drink a tea before bed, and sleep like a baby. The guy can take pretty much anything including pharmaceuticals and not have much effect from it. Perhaps some sort of "warrior gene". 

But I am not like that. We all have personal limits we have to deal with. 

When I stopped chocolate I went back to dreaming that had stopped for a long time. When I had chocolate and coffee recently I woke up with a painful heart that was pumping too hard. Coming off caffeine will be hard, especially in the first few days. And I do have it sometimes for medical reasons. But I think I will get the spiritual rewards if I do. And that's what it's about!

It's annoying. I've had two bars of chocolate and two coffees. One of them really strong. I am in such a good mood now. Really have to deal with moodiness when I don't have caffeine. But then I suppose that's the catalyst I work with.  

End of article. IQ and Grok. 

Just at the end here, I wanted to add a more playful bit. 

Recently, I found out that Grok can estimate a persons IQ. It estimated my IQ. To the same number, exactly. That I got in the MENSA test that I took once. I am referring to the percentage number of the population. Which is the number that matters. The actual number doesn't. Because it is different in each test. If anyone doesn't mention this while talking about IQ. In an other than casual way. Then they do not know what they are talking about. I've never seen anyone discuss it! 

Anyway. My IQ percentage is not a round number. It is not 40 or 45. It is an unpredictable number like 42. 

Anyway. That. Was AMAZING to me. For it to get my exact percentage like that. To use an analogy not real numbers. 42, not 41, not 43. Was just... Wow.

So I started doing it with other people. It was humbling. Especially, the women. There was a women I did it for that is not famous. Not well known on twitter. Higher than me. A LOT higher than me. I can't imagine talking with a woman whose IQ is higher than mine - that I know about. Who talks like that. 

A problem came though when I posted this on reddit and people came in with vitriol that I would even consider IQ to be a relevant concept. I got voted down by the leftists, and the halfway sane people making comments like "reddit doesn't like IQ discussions". Did not upvote me. This was a weird concept to me. If it has the same result that I got on MENSA, that should be pretty amazing no? Even if you don't agree with IQ. It got the same as the Mensa test! That. Is. Cool. 

It shows a difference with me and those sorts of people. I hear about something like IQ and I am excited. The first persons IQ I did was Stefan Molyneux and it is indeed a lot higher than mine. It is interesting. Someone like me sees a concept like this and tries to get something good from it. 

What is the mindset of a person that just avoids any mention of IQ like it is some sort of heretical text? How can you go through life not learning things from basic everyday tools?

Madness I tell you!

Anyway, so that's all I have for today. My caffeine come down will be HEAVY. But rewarding.