Progress on a spiritual path.

I had one of my best days today. Went to the gym. Just felt amazing. Drinking a lot of water seems to be a key for my health and my specific health condition is one where dehydration is a symptom. So just listening to my body has good results. (Rather than fizzy water, i.e. "almost" listening to my body. Did not have any particularly good results).

I do not have any real insights at the moment. Because I am still working through what might have been an insight I have just had. The point I made in a recent post. That Communion might not be positive magick. But that blood magick in general is something that the negative uses. 

Stopping Communion. I did not do it on Sunday so next Sunday will be the moment I have definitely stopped it. I do feel like I am detecting an improvement. That the dreams I have been stuck on for months now. One month of dreams. Seems to have shifted.

There are a lot of ideas I have about what might be changing. But it is early days. A day or two. Needs a lot longer to say... Yes, this seemingly minor emotional change can lead to this. Or no, I was overthinking it. 

Spirituality and limitation.

This is my video for today:

Youtube: RootsofLife: Why They Call Reiki, Yoga and Meditation, "Evil". June 20th 2026:

https://youtu.be/o96W2QKl9UI?si=07A9vxf-575a4BKn

There are a lot of people that call these things 'evil'. I just watched a video (not this video) by a guy who was talking about demons tempting him. Like, this seemed to be both in real life and in the dream world and imagination. He was a guy who has gained a following because he talks a lot about not masturbating. He was trying to make himself out to be this kind of enlightened spiritual guy and he said that he could "feel" how the planetary glyphs and such in astrology are evil.

So... my dude, you are basically saying that a thing is a certain way because you "feel" like it is a certain way. Wonder if he was on his period? Needless to say I unsubscribed.

When I first got into the Law of One. I used to feel very comforted that there are all these people out in the world with what I considered the 'correct' beliefs. Understanding of guides, spirits, and metaphysical issues. Or mainstream Christianity. Where a deep fidelity to the "One Infinite Creator" is highly prized. 

An actual analysis, both online and in the real world, reveals a lot of disappointment. A lot of people are only paying very vague loyalty to abstract concepts. While in practice, it seems to me. Just doing what is emotionally convenient for them to do. 

An example is... Firstly... Christianity. 

OK, so all these Christians believe Astrology is evil... "Just because". Did the Devil create the planets? I have never heard of anything like that so probably not. So God created the planets? And they have recognised that astrology does work. It does work according to the Christians. So God created something that's function is precisely to do evil and nothing else? That foretells human personality and events, but is only evil? Makes no sense at all. Why would God do that? 

These are not atheists. The Stefan Molyneux's of the world just say that astrology doesn't exist. I find this to be a more respectable, or at least consistent, position. Even when I have met it personally. Than that it exists but that it is "evil" because I say so. Holding out for more objective proof is a position that makes some kind of sense. 

Christians believe though, that astrology is evil, I think because of some obscure part of the old testament. It is something like 'Do not associate with those that practice magic'. Mainstream Christianity, is, as a whole, an appeal to authority fallacy. At least in the mainstream. The idea that the bible is the word of God. Like his literal word. Not channeled through man. The idea the bible is always right. There are a lot. A LOT, of contradictions within the bible. 

But OK, if people want to live like that. It is their free will that they do right?

Wrong. Because they don't live like that. They do not actually yield authority to the bible when it is something they just believe in. It is rather like I have described them so far. It is like spiritual communities. They have some very general loyalty to the parts they like. But they don't actually believe in it in any legitimate way:

Youtube: Pearl: Why are Modern Christians So Insufferable: June 17th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/live/HRMcaWyalWM?si=cJZ7fz4uhdYqWteE

Pearl has many videos on this kind of subject. Including other hours long videos like her going to a church and asking the Christians coming out of it. "Should women obey their husbands".

During the discussions it has been explained that women obeying their husband, is what the bible says. There are some other lines like 'Love your wife like Christ loves the church". To justify a kind of "equality" kind of arrangement argument. But Christ does not take orders from the church. So with even a cursory explanation of that line. It does not mean an arrangement with equal leadership. 

So the Christians. Well they don't like that line. They are not even consistent with their own stated beliefs. The arguments from Aaron Abke proving Paul was a false prophet would not be received very well either. How do I know that? Because if they would have been, that would be the mainstream view. It is the more correct view. So it does not justify them not liking astrology. Their religion is an appeal to authority fallacy. Except when it is inconvenient. Therefore, their claimed reason for their beliefs is not true. So it must be something else. 

Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’ 

As I said, when I first got into the new age I drew comfort from the fact there are loads of new age people out there and loads of Christians. But that is falling away now. I realise that, as life moves forward and things change. That most of these people are self centered, unintelligent individuals with no answers. But that have just chosen a specific label for their own self interest. And then, like Pearl discusses. Take on the position of a moral high ground with answers that solve nothing... For some reason.

The video from the Roots of Life creator. Did not actually discuss anything to do with Christianity. It discussed how a lot of people try to repackage basic things like meditation to be something that you rely on a guru for. Aaron Abke in a recent video also talked about how some people involved in the spiritual life. Get obsessed with the entry level experiences, never going any further than that. 

I said this in the comments to the Creator of this video. That I think there may be another sub type of reason that happens sometimes. 

I have tried again and again to do healing stuff. I have talked about it here, on forums, and on my youtube channel. The fictional idea of healing still captures my imagination. And I suffer with medical issues. That are not overly painful. But they are daily and complex. There is a constant motivation to improve my physical health. And I do believe in these things.

But, despite many times of trying and trying again. I have learned that I am not a healer. I am not someone that can do this. I do have some small awareness and knowledge of general physical health due to my experiences. I remember going walking with the dog after one of these attempts. Feeling nothing but pure anger. There has also been a sense that I am covering something important, some wisdom that has to be opened with meditation. 

So the reason some Christians might think that Reiki healing and such is "evil". Is because they personally are not inclined towards it. But they pushed themselves into it at some point anyway. Trying to push yourself in a way that you are not destined to go feels sinister.  

This, for me, also extends to other things. While I can do music. I cannot write stories. It is a hard thing to learn I think to really accept our limitations. For the past few days with the sun and the women being out in their swimwear. I have been very motivated to figuring out how I am going to approach them or whatever. The only way I usually use to handle any issue I have is with spirituality. With the tools I use here. So I made up a second page of prayers to address this issue. (Also started practicing changing responses in visualisation) 

This, along with waking up in the morning being determined to write a smut story. Has lead me to realise that it really is very important for us to learn our limitations. To accept our limitations.

I was just learning what I talked about in this archetype and failed my first test of it:

It is hard to accept limitations. It is one of the behaviours that I have seen in people that are "narcissistic" in some description of the term. They don't accept the limitations of the world as in. That they don't have complete knowledge of others internal world. That they don't have the ability to do anything they want. As I said, I am a musician; not a healer or a storywriter. Despite, being very very interested in sci fi. Being very motivated to write. Just have not been able to. (I suppose this is writing! I meant as in fiction).

Where this links with these new age types of people. The video talks about how messed up they are. How they are kind of like narcissistic guru's and the guy making the video thought that perhaps the reason they were like that is that they were not meant to be in that position. But they pushed further and went there anyway. So they are like if I were to push ahead and actually become the healer that is veiled to me. Because I am not meant to do it. It would become fanatical and weird, and perhaps even seem evil. 

This kind of thing might unravel the whole system I wonder. It might unravel the very many people that are doing things that don't seem to be working. Perhaps a lot of these confused Christians, with no real beliefs that I can identify. Aren't meant to be that kind of Christian.  

Mirrors.

I'm going to talk about something that I have not wanted to mention for a few weeks. But has been going through my mind.

Interestingly though. VERY interesting. I have found this session and answer in the Law of One:

Questioner: Thank you. Could Ra give information on any way that we could give information to Greta Woodrew as to how to alleviate her present condition of swelling?

Ra: I am Ra. We may only suggest that the honor of propinquity to light carries with it the Law of Responsibility. The duty to refrain from contumely, discord, and all things which, when unresolved within, make way for workings lies before the instrument of which you speak. This entity may, if it is desired by the scribe, share our comments upon the working of the latter entity.

The entity which is given constant and unremitting approval by those surrounding it suffers from the loss of the mirroring effect of those which reflect truthfully rather than unquestioningly. This is not a suggestion to reinstate judgment but merely a suggestion for all those supporting instruments; that is, support, be harmonious, share in love, joy, and thanksgiving, but find love within truth, for each instrument benefits from this support more than from the total admiration which overcomes discrimination.

The second paragraph is where the emphasis is. It was weird how the actual name is put in now. Doesn't feel quite right, but it would also seem silly to now delete that now that it is publicly available on lawofone.info. Also, I found her wikipedia page, and she died in 2010. 

 

Grok said that she is about 25 years old in this. Whereas in 1984 roughly, when this session was done. She was about 50-55. 

The thing that I have been thinking over is the amazing and disproportionate power that women have in this society. There have been many different videos that have come up while I was mulling it over. But this is one:

Youtube: Hannah Spier: Treating the Pathological Female: Why the Current Model Fails: June 25th 2026.

https://youtu.be/CYnmU4r3YJc?si=86GFVIUvtAz4ebWQ

Basically, the point of this video, is that because Borderline is very female specific. The entire psychological establishment. Refuses to offer any opposition to their dysfunctional behaviours. The entire treatment is based on making them feel emotionally better about themselves. Whereas with a male equivalent diagnosis with similar behaviours. Anti social personality disorder. The treatment and attitude is extremely different from this. Recognising that if they do something then it is bad. Rather than if they do something bad, it is because of bad emotions, and everyone should put up with it. 

After a lot of this thinking. After this session and some contemplation on dreams and such. I have come to a new idea though on what I might consider a positive situation. 

I have talked before about being surprised by the amount of "privilege" so to speak, women enjoy. Specifically recounting overhearing a young girl saying that her and her friends had gone to a bar and the guys there had told them that when they go there in future, they can eat for free. There are other examples along this same direction. 

This reflects on the relevant Law of One session. If the feedback to young girls denies them "mirrors" etc. This is deep wisdom that I think could improve a lot of young womens lives.  

There are many examples of this generally. One of Pearl Davis' examples is that when she goes to the gym. She comes out and all the five shops there were shops focused on women. Because women control more of the "spending money". This is a part of her narrative. 

Another example is I watch a lot of musical youtube channels. The young women, generally just playing chords and singing. Even if it is good singing. It is not a standard I would accept from myself. Soon- ish they are making posts about going to do shows in such and such a place. I rarely see this kind of thing from men. Unbelievably talented people. I mean, world leading. Are often posting videos busking. 

But what strikes me, what understanding has suddenly become so clear on this. Is that that is not the good thing in life. The good thing in life. Regardless of money and other markers of status and success. Is polarity. If we are positively polarised we are happy (or potentiated in some fifth density cases). If we are not polarised service to others. If we are having trouble and have parts of us polarised service to self. We are not happy. 

It utterly changes the thinking on this in my opinion. 

The woo woo shift.

So, figured I will do a woo woo post today. My health is not good with heat. And it is very, very hot. I will try and not leave the house tomorrow. I feel with bouts of illness it is easier to focus on ungrounded matters in general. I wonder if this was a small part of the function that Carla's illness had in her life (in reference to the Law of One).

I have not wanted to talk about this for a while. But, for people that are inclined that way I think it is relevant. 

Ra Uru Hu was someone that channeled an entirely new and extremely complex; extremely deep. Astrology system. 

The Human Design Chart does have some future information that might relate to what the Law of One calls the harvest. The coming changes to our world. 

They have mentioned something called 'The Raves'. Supposedly, from around February 2027, the beings born will be part of a new race. Very telepathic. Very psychic. Kind of blind and deaf. Very different to us. They will not need a lot of looking after, but will go and get up to their own thing, mostly ignoring their parents and society that we know of. 

They fit with what the Law of One might call 'the new breed'. Incarnating for fourth density work.

There is more to be said about February 2027. But it really is in the area of woo. It is also I think, the best that Ra Uru Hu had with available knowledge. I imagine that not just with this, but with many areas. As things have updated the main body of human design information looks a bit different in small ways. 

Ra Uru Hu talked about in February 2027. A huge energy changes. From the first line to the sixth line. Meaning people with sixth line energy (Me!) will have more backing. Things will flow more. The sixth line is a very spiritual line which indicates to me that a lot of spiritual people would suddenly gain significance/ celebrity at this time. 

But Ra Uru Hu also talks about something shifting and the gate 19 kind of suddenly ceasing to exist. This doesn't sound right to me. Energy can't just change so something doesn't exist. It might be yet another metaphorical kind of thing from the source. Or messed up information. But anyway, we will run with it all the same.

The 19 is the gate of need. It is the gate that approaches the tribe with a request. In Ra Uru Hu's explanation. It is the gate that has to do with all resources. Ever needing any resources. It is the gate of animal husbandry and our relationship with animals, especially for food. Or perhaps, he emphasized for food. It is also the gate of 'needing' god, so religion as well. It is also the gate where approach happens. As in the courting that leads to marriage.

This seems to underpin pretty much our entire culture. These four themes are some of the biggest theme in our culture. 

At the time of course. Ra Uru Hu had no model as to how these changes might occur so he tended to think of it like the entire world kind of collapsing and a bunch of people starving to death as institutions collapse. (Another aspect of the astrological change, the 1st to 6th line thing, says that large institutions will cease to exist).

This was all before Q though. Now that we have Q and the new age eccentric communities. We have the potential shift that some sort of 'mass arrest' and/ or 'disclosure'. But most importantly, as has been discussed a lot. A new economic model built upon some sort of gold standard. 

A shift of this sort would satisfy all those requirements. There would be no struggle for resources under the right economic model. (The current fiat currency and inflation is a large part to blame for that in my opinion). Also without the same evildoers and their masters that have been in politics for centuries. With new technology meat might be a thing of the past. 

It does not fit all of these things. But the future could be strange in a way that we can't predict. It feels unlikely to me that people will suddenly stop 'needing' God. But potentially, if there was good enough promotion and understanding of a kind of Law of One like model. Then people would not need to seek these things because that need would have been satisfied. 

I recall when I used to think of storylines and one of the plot lines I thought of. One of them that has stuck with me is the idea that an alien race, a very positive alien race. Just takes over humanity and runs everything in accord with intelligences that we do not have. 

Like, the idea being that people are just kind of shuffled about in accordance with some grand plan. So if the issue between two long term friends was that one person did not have status while the other one had a lot of status. Then for about three years that one friend gains a lot of status and then meets that friend. It would be more complex than that in real life of course. X person should go and live with Y community.

The point seems... annoying and infantalising. A stunted lack of freedom. But it was only a story idea. Our culture I would say though is fairly infantile. There are billions of people that vote left. The idea would be that after a period of time the humans in this story would be meant to have gained and learned and then would not have to be supervised any longer.  

The acceptance of chaos.

At the moment. I feel absolutely sure that my post of yesterday, talking about coming away from the Communion as a personal practice. Is correct. 

I have a lot of thoughts about what might be it's "magickal" significance. But suffice to say, in short hand, that the idea was an extension of a kind of "blood magick" in my understanding. And blood magick, is not something the positive uses. (This is from Aaron Abke and his video of about six days ago on Leviticus).

I am actually feeling a noticeably other than good or loving feeling at the moment. But it is powerful... Raw. I sometimes think of one of the Law of One sessions where the contact talked about how the negative greeting works, and it specified there were two targets in Carla. One was the heart chakra. I think, I might be wrong, that this was encouraged towards over, not under, activation. 

It reminds me of the constant waffle that is given loving language. But is actually quite negative. From a lot of people. When someone prevaricates on a clear spiritual question for instance. Refusing to answer you directly. I recall one example I heard recently was in a meditation group. Where a group of hippy male meditators leave a class because an intimidating ex con turns up and intimidates the women. Leaving only one guy to talk to him who was a bit more grounded. The guy talking about this remarked at how vocal these hippy male meditators were in talking about things like virtue. 

I am not feeling positive or loving like that. I am feeling deep, powerful rage flowing through me. And because of this. I can feel my ability to create lyrics, something that seems blocked in me. Starting to work a bit better. I can say something when the root is anger.  

Anyway, I have something to say, but I do not think I have the ability to fully say what that is. So it will be a shortened vague version in what I think is the right direction:

Youtube: Cold Condition: Woman Says Rejecting A Man Before His Glow Up Is The Worst Feeling: June 22nd 2026:

https://youtu.be/E8gHtGJ7uic?si=5LefQ8vvDvXyf07D

The point here is the general correctness of this and how this opposes the soft, liberal 'forgiveness without contrition' consensus. When evildoers try to convince someone to give forgiveness without contrition. They never focus on the evildoer. The abusive partner. They always try and revictimise the person who was treated badly. 

I think there is an understanding amongst these centrist types. They know they are horrible people. And they know that it would be in their best interesting if the people they are casually bullying believe this forgiveness without contrition thing because there is a very real possibility (but only possibility, there is a greater probability the bullied person will never gain status) that that person may gain power in the future. It is a bone deep, strong desire to evade accountability. 

Going quickly to Session 34 and the process being "Understanding, acceptance and forgiveness". I have said before I think these are Mind, Body and Spirit. I think in these situations. When there is a disagreement and someone is disrespected. Someone is considered 'the lesser animal'. An important part of the 'body' section of this. Is a certain animal power.

I do not think we can "forgive" someone when there is an unequal power dynamic. Say someone is being bullied at work by their manager. They are then told to let it go by HR, but the manager has no intention of changing. Bullies rarely, if ever, do. The person then is in a position of having to pretend they have "forgiven" the situation. Or no longer being able to eat. 

Or a situation where a woman is socially ascendant, and a guy was treated badly and then she flat out avoids him after that with no discussion, no apology.  

In these situations. I don't think forgiveness can be legitimate. Because the power dynamic is off. A proper relationship has to have a kind of equal power dynamic. Not a 'forgive or else'. 

So I think in the body section. In the acceptance section. This video above is what has to happen. Some process, some thing, has to happen to balance out the power. In order to see another as the One Creator in the real sense of the term. There does have to be some sort of equal power dynamic I think. 

So this is what this part of the process is. In the video above. A guy talks about how a lot of women disrespected him. Then he did really well in the gym and posted his physique and a lot of women suddenly changed their tune. A lot of people suddenly coming around trying to be friends and "forget" any of their older, disrespectful, behaviours.

This is a balancing of power. I think this works in a lot of different situations. It is part of the process. Power is not just in physique. It can be social power, status, money (with women I think it is more strongly expressed in attractiveness, in how they experience animal power). When Stefan Molyneux talks about all the people he had to leave behind. Who were getting jealous and such, trying to sabotage him. It is a similar thing. 

Understanding, Acceptance and... Forgiveness. Forgiveness I am not so sure on. Watching Stefan Molyneux as an ideal model. I would say that when he had gone through these processes. He did not turn around and forgive all the people involved. It could be something like... to Forgive, or not. As the Human Design would say (The 'or not' is a very specific energy of being opposite to that thing. it is not 'not' as in not existing. It is opposite). But the last point of the process that I can see in Stefan is that he brings in spiritual laws of a sort. When he says that 'Love is our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous". This might be the work of the spirit.

I still want to ask him about that. I still don't quite get how he thinks, or would explain rather, how precisely that mechanism works? I would like to ask him hypotheticals on it.

Understanding is understanding the problem. Acceptance, is accepting it exists. (Which makes sense this is where the action is. Once you accept something has happened, it is intuitively correct you can act from that place!) Then comes the last thing. The action of the spirit. Which brings in information that actually solves or concludes the issue? 

Anyway, exciting times. If a little bit scary from the stronger emotions. I trust that this will all work out in a good way from now on. It is like when you make a minor change that just changes things like 10% every day. Like when you do meditation. Your decisions are 10% clearer. Over the longer term, it mounts up!  

Lightning strikes.

Feeling successful after my last post. Feeling, as I now suspect was a ridiculous idea. I might be done with producing new ideas to put on here for a while. 

The reason being is that, I focused my energy on positively polarised things like I said in my last post. I got a result. It did not seem as though there is anything more to do from that place. Just be in that place. 

But, then I had a powerful insight. So here we are. One that might change my entire belief system in a powerful way. 

The Law of One on the Holy Communion:

Questioner: Thank you. Could you explain the basic principles behind the ritual which we perform to initiate the contact and what I would call the basic white magical rituals— principles of protection and other principles? Could you please do this?

Ra: I am Ra. Due to your avenue of question we perceive the appropriateness of inclusion of the cause of this instrument’s transitory vital energy distortion. The cause is a bias towards the yearning for expression of devotion to the One Creator in group worship.

This entity was yearning for this protection both consciously in that it responds to the accoutrements of this expression, the ritual, the colors and their meanings as given by the distortion system of what you call the church, the song of praise, and the combined prayers of thanksgiving and, most of all, that which may be seen to be most centrally magical, the intake of that food which is not of this dimension but has been transmuted into metaphysical nourishment in what this distortion of expression calls the holy communion.

The subconscious reason, it being the stronger for this yearning was the awareness that such expression is, when appreciated by an entity as the transmutation into the presence of the One Creator, a great protection of the entity as it moves in the path of service to others.

The principle behind any ritual of the white magical nature is to so configure the stimuli which reach down into the trunk of mind that this arrangement causes the generation of disciplined and purified emotion or love which then may be both protection and the key to the gateway to intelligent infinity.

I am reading book 5 at the moment. I have been getting a fair amount of synchronicities around all of this. Which I have been leaning into. But it is not a language I really appreciate or think a great deal of. I am more enamoured with the philosophical/ Stefan Molyneux kind of direction of logical deduction. 

I recall a week or so ago, perhaps a bit longer. When I wrote a blog on here mentioning Don Elkins and what he was perhaps thinking. I.... do not like talking about this. The reason being is that it is closely related to the insanity of believing I was Don Elkins in a past life, as I did in the past. Which I have identified as being potentially linked to the unconscious attempt to gain status, where it had been redirected from my actual life through social ostracism, and physiological issues linking to mental illness. (There is a transit strongly talking about this today. Mars conjunct Algol (trauma) in the gate 8.3. The gate 8 was where I had identified these tendencies previously linking to my unconscious Earth in gate 1!)

Anyway, I did talk a bit about Don. There was something that just seemed obvious while I was reading book 5. And I got a synchronicity. One then, and one linking recently again. This was the feel of "Carla" that I got. Super talented guys with a religious song in the American South that I associate her with:

Youtube: Amazing Grace - Johan Borgh and Enil Ernebro: October 3rd 2022:

https://youtu.be/7VMZoTImriI?si=8I7KCdXd5o_h4RfC

Of note here is music is something I genuinely love. A language that Carla speaks.  

Anyway, while reading the Law of One book 5, I have seemed to have synchronistically been going through the same kinds of things. I realised yesterday, that a mega reason that my focusing on the positive is good for me is that it retains a bit of my energy back. Going to the gym with my precarious health I was overdoing it. But consistency is very important for my medical situation. This is one of the pieces of guidance discussed in book 5.

Another thing was Don crashing out over the Hawk in a house he was considering moving to. That he applied a very logical framework to. "If we had not seen the Hawk we would have gone there, so it must have meant something bad." It is likely to me that the message was not just for Don. But was a general background of magick that the other two would also have appreciated. Just a general background of magick that those spirits enjoyed gracing the group with. 

The other day while walking, having just read this Hawk section. I saw a Deer. It is not something frequently seen in England. I have seen one one other time and I am in the countryside almost daily. It was a baby deer. That seemed unperturbed as me, one other and an American Staffy (a larger version of a Staffy!) walked by; the Staffy didn't notice the deer. Bizarre of a deer to not think that kind of dog might be dangerous.  

Then the change:

Things were kind of flowing. In the past few hours. I have had sudden "disagreements" with this material. The ideological position of forgiveness without contrition is very negative to me. I do not care at the moment what particular source opposes this. I just know it. It's evil is articulated in the abuse communities. And it has been philosophically justified as incorrect. But Carla mentions it in relation to the negative entities in the fragment I have just read; Fragment 48. Carla was pushing forgiveness without contrition through Q'uo as late as 2009, I think, it might have been later, but I have a specific session for that.

Then there was something that just didn't gel in the session itself. There was also the casual suggestion by Carla that her cat is reincarnated from another cat and I refuse to engage in that kind of thinking. It is maddening. We do not have authority or insight into the world beyond this one. 

Then, this evening, I look at a video that is mentioning Christianity, and mentions that Jesus did not necessarily say the communion stuff. Since Paul, the false apostle said it first, and the gospels were written after Pauls. This could mean they were put in. 

The murky truth:

This means that I have a difficulty with the Law of One directly. The session stated above. I do already have things I don't know if I believe about it. For instance, I do not know if I believe the story on Hitler. My thinking is that if there has been some kind of lie about that, and it being illegal to oppose the mainstream narrative in some countries indicates that could very likely be the case. Then the Law of One contact could not say that. To not oppose the negative in a concrete way and also, because of free will. To not lead the questioning into a tangent. (They said very early on, I think session 2.2, or could have been 1.0. "What we have to share with you is philosophical not historical". Meaning, they will tell the truth on philosophical matters, but feel no responsibility to tell it on historical matters!)

Also, the implication of understanding, acceptance and forgiveness. Understanding and acceptance I understand. Not yet forgiveness. But I wonder if the term forgiveness was to keep in line with free will, and it could actually mean something different. (I have more on this, perhaps unsurprisingly!)

At the moment, I am struggling a bit with a lot of these kinds of thoughts anyway. I have had a few times where the information I am looking at lights up in a "Q" kind of way. Human Design transits and such, dates, future events, theories on what 'comms' are telling us all. But I aggressively oppose that kind of thing within myself. There have been too many false starts now on Q stuff. I can only grip what is in my life and infront of me. 

In general. I have an inner rage that can't be opposed. Everyday on twitter in England. Some horrible news thing comes through. 3 year old gets thrown into a crocodile enclosure by immigrant. Disabled man has his eyes gouged out by immigrant. 

I have seen enough to not completely oppose Q. Such as some things around the Trump election. But I also cannot commit myself to the belief in any real way to the paradigm that things will get better. That positive entities are guiding everything. Or that things like miracles, telepathy and energy healing are possible. When there is such dogged evidence to the contrary of the telepathy and energy healing. (I do feel the positive entities though I am not really doubting that!)

Where this is all going is that I am now doubting whether I should be doing the Communion. It has been a very important part of my life since Easter of 2022. When I went to church, not knowing it was Easter Sunday, and started communion from them. Having experienced what felt like positive spiritual power from this. 

This might be like one of my semi regular now faith crisis such as when I have thought I should stop prayer a few times. Anyway, it felt appropriate to write on this blog for the moment.  

The conscious mind.

I have been listening recently to a Ra Uru Hu speech on 2027. The astrological changes he describes and the best way, with the knowledge he had at the time. To explain them. To attach them to what might happen in real life. 

But, it leads in a kind of transcient direction. Or something like that. After the years of David Wilcock lies, it is hard to attach to fantastic claims attached to prophesy. Even though, logically, Ra Uru Hu was not David Wilcock. He channeled the entire human design. Ra Uru Hu clearly has a genuinely galactic level IQ. While the Law of One trio, I don't think could form the words and insight of the Law of One contact. Ra Uru Hu is somewhere in the realm, I think, of creating that system. 

So Ra Uru Hu's IQ was probably somewhere around where David Wilcock claimed David Wilcocks was. While not being able to change the batteries in a smoke detector. 

Be that as it may. I realise I have grown far more grounded throughout my life now. Only really believing things that I can distinctly grip. But at the same time. Being very inclined towards this metaphysical kind of area. 

So without my mind being able to penetrate these larger themes; or perhaps being able to penetrate but not trusting. I am going back to one of the simplest spiritual themes.

I have talked before. Actually on a video. About this card. The Matrix of the Mind. The Conscious Mind. A simple archetype shown by gate 17, the simplicity and single focus of an opinion, gate 21, the direction of the will. Gate 51, and the shock that comes from that power but also leads into the next place. The vast expanse, (gate 42), of the subconscious mind. 

How the conscious mind works, functions, is what I think this is talking about. The ball is the positive polarity. The focus. The bird is the subconscious mind. The neophyte, is unable to walk forward without being prevented by the bird cage. 

The thing he is seeking is below his feet. Since the next card is the subconscious mind, and these themes continue through to other cards. But his focus has to be on the inspiration itself. 

This is something I kind of gripped theoretically. Kind of realised, suspected, thought about. But which has not gained the authority in my mind. I did not use it properly. 

The thing I absolutely LOVE to do. Which I need no discipline at all to do. Is go to the gym. Partly to get out my anger. To transmute it. It links with the kind of thing I talk about here. I have a theory that once I get far into that anger. Once I have done a lot of exercise. The next stage of the positive spiritual path will become more clear. 

But, there is a problem. When I go to the gym I am often exhausted. I stop doing some of the things that are good in my life. Namely, prayer, meditation and affirmations. Maybe music is part of that. I also need the energy of meditation to go to the gym. Those things really improve me. Without them my energy flags. (It is not just lack of energy stopping me going to the gym but the energy involved in more preparation than normal due to the health condition).

It means I will have to change my thought process and priority. I am emotionally effected by having gained weight. So the gym becomes a priority. Before I am at the stage where I can combine exercise with diet changes, my body has to be good enough to regularly do the exercise. 

But the priority can't be the weight. I will have to put up with the weight. My priority has to be prayer and such. Then my energy will be in a good place and the gym should follow.

This is in line with this card. I have to keep focused on the positive spirituality. The real goals (gym, maybe music) i.e. the bird cage, will have to come as a result of that.