The class system on the internet.

I feel like I am being slowly squeezed out of internet living. 

On twitter, I saw from a Q affiliated account. That some people lock unverified accounts out from responding because they only get paid for those responses. I just saw that from someone on X. 

Then there is Pearl Davis and Steven Cambian. Youtube channels that I can no longer watch. On a recent Steven Cambian video. Two ads, one unskippable at 7 and a half minutes. One skippable adds at 12 and a half minutes. Two more ads, one more unskippable, at 20 minutes. (Youtube premium has no ads) 

Stephen Molyneux has come out with strong guidance to anyone that is his follower. To not have anything to do with him, or his theories in the larger sense. If you have anything to do with leftists in any capacity. Even casual socialising (Which I do). In 6303, at about thirty minutes.

This is relevant to me because it means I will not go on his work even once from this point on. Which is relevant as I sometimes weave his concepts into this blog. I have deleted all his podcasts that I had downloaded onto my phone.  

On X, there is a clear class differential. You go on a thread and the top comments are from the verified users. The verified users do not tend to say a great deal either. Sometimes just single word responses. If you scroll down far enough for the unverified users. They often have longer, more thought through posts. There is a slight pattern as though they were pleading for attention. At least to me. 

This is the world the left rails against, and the right celebrates, for partly animalistic reasons. Not that I disagree with the general principle of monetisation. It is mostly the left and their strategic taxes on things like small businesses that prevent people from moving up in class terms. 

But nevertheless, this is all something to be aware of. The class system starting to replicate itself online. 

Self improvement, affirmations, and q- paradigm thoughts

Reading the Law of One had I had to stop at this for a while. Completely stopped for a while. I just go back to this quote and the following one and try to think it through:

Questioner: So the original, the first evolution then was planned by the Logos but the first distortion was not extended to the product. At some point this first distortion was extended and the first service-to-self polarity emerged. Is this correct and if so, could you tell me the history of this process and emergence?

Ra: I am Ra. As proem let me state that the Logoi always conceived of themselves as offering free will to the sub-Logoi in their care. The sub-Logoi had freedom to experience and experiment with consciousness, the experiences of the body, and the illumination of the spirit. That having been said, we shall speak to the point of your query.

The first Logos to instill what you now see as free will, in the full sense, in its sub-Logoi came to this creation due to contemplation in depth of the concepts or possibilities of conceptualizations of what we have called the significators. The Logos posited the possibility of the mind, the body, and the spirit as being complex. In order for the significator to be what it is not, it then must be granted the free will of the Creator. This set in motion a quite lengthy, in your terms, series of Logoi improving or distilling this seed thought. The key was the significator becoming a complex.

This is like, almost how God was putting together the universe that we experience. Not the Universe as it is though. Many people not familiar with the Law of One would not know what a "Significator" is. I have not heard any particular insight from the Llresearch themselves. I would not ask them what this would mean as they seem to be unable to discuss basic Law of One quotes. ("Understanding, acceptance and forgiveness? No, it's just forgiveness son! Those other words don't mean anything.")

When I am contemplating the apparent stuckness of a lot of my life. I do think that it is a pretty good thing to be contemplating this kind of stuff. It is something that I can think over and I kind of own. It is unlikely, but not impossible, it could later provide practical benefit to my life. 

Also in this session, the Law of One contact, talking about Carla. Mentioned "affirmations". I had always assumed that Don Elkins and his energy healing was the main healing thing in the Law of One. Also the energy sending of the support group. But, there was also Carla doing affirmations that was mentioned repeatedly by the contact as being extremely important. Almost like the whole thing wasn't possible without that. 

So I have started affirmations myself. I am quite excited about it. I think I am a good candidate for this kind of thing. My subconscious and conscious are very close to each other. 

Q politics. 

I almost never talk about this. I have deliberately never talked about this. When I get an idea for it. I don't bring it up. I stopped trying to link the human design to these kinds of events. 

But, I think today is a bit of an exception. The cause of todays politics has a potentially meaningful effect. 

Prince Andrew was arrested today. 6 unmarked cars went to his home to collect him on his 66th birthday. And it was 666 days after an important date of August 24th 2024 when a blood soaked white horse ran through London with some relation to the royal family:

The joke was made a few times today that maybe the leaders of the EU and UK are Reptilians. Over the past few years, as I have heard various things. I have realised I am unable to imagine the pure malevolence of our leaders. After your citizens get raped repeatedly, beaten, tortured. Then you carry on going to every conceivable lengths to import a third word rape heavy culture. Deleting records. Making sure police stay in line. Continuing to support and promote this evil. 

This 666 day thing, this symbology. It is yet one of many hundreds of good proofs at this moment that something is being planned behind the scenes along the lines of the Q narrative. 

The idea that these people are Reptilians. Are alien. And that it would be revealed. There is of course, no evidence for this. But, just imagining, it would be an amazingly quick way to deprogram the society. 

Every lie that the population has believed. Can immediately be explained away by "It was the brainwashing of the Reptilians". Their very presence would also get rid of a lot of the programming.  

General spiritual points.

A video that inspired some thoughts:

Youtube: Literary Archeology: The Hidden Hands Behind Your Conflicts,  What You Miss In Personal Bonds As Evil creeps in #cslewis, February 18th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWAY0QE0dcM

I highlighted another one of this womans videos before. The Sunday video with philosophy and talking about fairy tales from their earlier roots. But, this is another one she does. On Tuesday she talks about A CS Lewis book called 'The Screwtape letters'. Which is a message from a senior demon, to a lower demon. Advising him on better executing his activities of "negative greeting" as the Law of One calls it. Subtle, telepathically based temptation to detune humans that might be turning positive.

Back when I first got into the Law of One and was very afraid of the "negative greeting" article. This would have taken on almost mythical significance to me and I am surprised that llresearch, Carla, Jim etc. Never showed that they heard about it. 

I wanted to think through some things that this has said. But also to jump off into other things that this leads onto for me. 

Folly and introspection. 

Two interesting points. One is that this letter, involves the idea of getting involved in completely pointless introspection. That the negative entity is sure to guide the human away from anything that is actually useful. 

This is not a very big theme for me. I have had times where I was medically too messed up to find solutions, but there was no way out of those. I have also found that journalling itself is not that useful to me and my preference is for meditation and dream interpretation. Journalling, I can use it to offset general thoughts, have some insights to the human design sometimes, but it generally seems to produce no fruit. A lot of things about modelling under a normal psychotherapy, like going back to how my parents were and such like that. Does not seem to be that useful. The insights seem to come through dream interpretation are often more immediate. Things such as... "Stay away from conspiracy for this reason". 

I could get unproductively lost in the normal psychotherapy stuff in my view. 

What this partly comes down to, I believe, is a statement in the bible that 'The way is straight and narrow'. If the way is straight and narrow. It probably involves doing basically the same thing most of the time. The meditator, meditates and goes deeper, the healer, does energy healing, gets insights, and does more of it. In my understanding we are programmed in a certain way. We don't get to jump around at different things in order to improve ourselves. The fiction writer does not get to be a musician and the musician does not get to be a fiction writer. Obviously, if we are only going deeper on the things we do know, rather than picking and choosing a bit of everything. That this looks like a path that is straight and narrow. It is going in only one direction.

This incidentally, might be the chemistry responsible for what she was talking about earlier. If we are programmed in a certain way. Then we either experience that or its opposite. This woman talked about not liking to read infront of people as a child. So she experienced the energy all through her life, in her adult hood as it is meant to be applied and in childhood its opposite. 

But yeah, if you are doing something that is homogenised. It only has like, a 20% chance of being something that actually works for you. So introspection in a way that you aren't really meant to do will obviously produce no fruit. 

Physicality and prayer. 

The other point, is one that will mean I go off on an unconnected rant. 

One of the points that the demon made to his subordinate. Is that it is best to get the human to not pray for anything physical, specific and positive. Like, for his mothers Rheumatism, as an example. 

I am going to go into a paradigm that people will be unfamiliar or uncomfortable with. I have no idea who my viewers are and even if I have viewers. I don't know that the view counters on blogspot are legitimate. Although, I do get a sizeable bump when I post on twitter indicating that those are definitely legitimate.

I wondered if, some of the people interested in the Law of One might be reading this blog. Since, that would be a logical audience. My original blogging on the Law of One. My youtube channel and X are the only places I am likely to have gained readers. Again, if the blogspot view count is accurate. 

Anyway, the Law of One only casually referred to these things. But I have some ideas on how people are. This also links to larger things like densities. But I will try to keep it simpler than that.

My understanding is people are one of three energies or types. Love, Wisdom Or Power. The Law of One spoke positively that the group of three in the Law of One group were one of each. 

I talked recently about how from reading the Law of One, and trying to figure out things about prayer, sending love and light, and free will. I had decided that it was completely legitimate to send love and light even if the person would not agree with that. (I had wondered previously if this was violating free will).

I had wondered, that since I have been angry at people previously in my life. Whether sending love to those people would be positive. Like, my understanding is you kind of fall from polarity if you are not loving, also not sending love allows others to trespass on you with less positively polarised intentions. 

I remember at the end of Bedazzled when the main character is forced to complete his last wish from the devil and he simply wishes that the girl he was interested in would be happy. 

Prayer though, magnetises a kind of real world change. For me, that kind of sending of love it opens up a whole pandora's box of confusion. I would like to be a little more open about the specific example. I hope that suffices. 

If you have wisdom, you do not have love or power. Those things only come after applying the wisdom (perhaps from others co operation even!) Applied Love, perhaps it has the manifestation of these sorts of prayer and visualisations? Applied Power, it has the style of real world opposition to anything that opposes it. 

Wisdom is neither of these. There is not the power to really oppose people in order to push them further enough to get the honest truth. But there is also not the love that provides an alternative idea. Love is also probably that the 'love' person has the option of other people since they have likely given a lot in their relationship in general. 

Wisdom withdraws and finds patterns, other solutions. Potentiation is not polarisation. So it makes sense that if potentiation is the priority, sometimes potentiation moves in a different direction to polarisation. 

Down to red pill basics.

This is going to be a LONG article. I fully expect it might take more than an hour to write. (It took exactly an hour to the minute!)

My recent articles have included my frustration at social media in some manners. I have come up with a personal rule because of this, to make life better. Which is that I don't engage in social media in general until I have played music in a day. There are exceptions to this, say, I was not able to play music and I do not play at night ref neighbours. Generally though, I have identified that social media can become an unproductive part of life. Arguing with people that are never going to change their views, and that it probably wouldn't matter if they did anyway. Feeling undervalued etc. 

Nevertheless, even though social media might in some cases be unproductive. I had a long argument on social media about red pill issues that made me realise. That I need to really clarify what these mean.

Red pill is quite a complex and nuanced subject. There are differing viewpoints. The arguments that surround red pill though are inevitably reduced to very basic, often feeling based arguments that completely fail to capture what it is about. 

I have thought about this article for a while. I was previously going to start with summarising the general rules that red pill discusses. Some rules that I think are useful. And summarise why they are correct and useful. But it is often women that are arguing against red pill. And women are missing an entire dimension of understanding the subject. An entire set of experiences that they do not even guess at most likely, and often badly mischaracterise. That is, a mans pre red pill experiences. A mans blue pill experiences and what is wrong with it. 

Then, I will discuss a fair few general rules the red pill discusses. Showing how these bring light and understanding to a previously very dark situation.  

The Blue Pill:

To understand the blue pill, it is important to understand, I think. That we live in a society that has skewed very heavily towards a female value system. This is because, since the introduction of the welfare state. Single mother homes have gone from something like 5% to 50% (the welfare state broke up the black family far more efficiently than slavery did!) A lot of boys grow up with a mothers value system, the fathers are not there to impart wisdom. Sometimes, the fathers are there, but the transmission of values doesn't happen for whatever reason. 

What is the difference between these value systems? Well firstly, women are generally approved of much more in society. Everyone wants a piece of a young attractive woman. They are literally given free things for no explicitly stated reason often. Just the hope their might be reciprocation. They also have an inflow of female friends that are generally more social. Generally stuck to each other far more closely. 

So to a woman, going through life does not require a great deal of "strategy". It does not require a means of getting around it when people may dislike you. May attempt to deceive you etc. This means, that instead of being equipped with tools to deal with the polarities of life. Womens advice, and attitude will often be more 'It will work out'. This is the general female position and expectation. 

Another element of this might be the strategy men have to employ for dating etc.  

Also, a woman who is a single mother. Likely, has an anger at the father that is not in the picture any longer. So the things she will express will be things like: "Women are perfect, men are bastards". 

The practical experience of the blue pill. 

The blue pill however, is NOT a correct way of viewing the world. This will become easier to explain once I bring in the social laws the red pill talks about. But the situation it leaves young men in is a difficult one.

I also want to note, that even though there are a lot of women shouting about how "misogynistic" the manosphere or red pill is. They don't offer an alternative. Most of what women put out is moral highgrounding and social shaming. That is not designed to actually help anyone. It is designed to make the woman feel better by putting everyone else down. 

If you have a problem with women and a manosphere guy says 'Oh, that's because of this thing in society'. Of course there are people pushing against that. But the people pushing against it, don't have an alternative. They simply are using moral highgrounding and often intimidation, to insist that their perspective is right. 

Anyway, down to the male experience of the blue pill, or the male experience 'pre red pill'. There is an additional side to male sexuality that is not talked about. Not even articulated most of the time. Feminists endless fantasies of forced contact, the dominant narrative, obscure that there is quite a bit that goes on psychologically for a lot of guys. 

It is something I have had to fight myself. I have heard call in shows with guys massively one shotted and having their lives destroyed by this tendency. It is also a tendency that women like. Even though it can get annoying. It brings them fantastic amount of power and resources. 

If men start believing that all women are kind of angelic. That they are soft, beautiful, always victims. Their is also this strong tendency of wanting to look after them. It is linked to sexuality. It is not purely a masculine protective thing I think. But it is not completely conscious often. It is this strong sense that you need to look after an angelic creature. Hidden in that, is the belief, the transactional understanding, that loyalty and sex will be returned. 

It is painful, and it is manipulative. It does not identify itself as the sex drive, which makes it very dangerous. It does not say 'I am getting hard now and want to do the bang bang squirt with this girl'. It is more like 'I suddenly want to spend all my time trying to make her life better and she is such a special snowflake victim'.  

Nietzsche wrote a lot about 'slave morality'. A system of morals that people take on when they are powerless. Convincing themselves that codependence, and submissiveness is the truly virtuous behaviour. It is the idea that the slave will be rewarded in heaven while the master will suffer an eternity of torment. it is built from unbelievable powerless rage. But it is unconscious. People don't have insight into their own slave morality, and the self centered reasons it has been created. 

This 'blue drive'. As you might call it. The blue pill tendency to make the sex drive into a manipulative, transactional, caring device. Is also fairly unconscious. It being unconscious as well, it seems to rob the person it manipulates of agency. As many destructive beliefs do. 

The practical effects of this? Loads of weird stuff. Writing weird messages to women trying to explain things. It also comes with a natural, self serving belief. That the blue pill guy that holds these characteristics. Is a better person, and more deserving of the girls affection. Than whoever else she might want to date. It is the motivating factor, I believe. Around a lot of deception. 

It is the friend zoned guy that strategises for years to get the girl.

Red pill concepts. 

I am not going to do a serious deep dive here. I am not going to lay out a rational case. I am only going to talk about general rules that men, need to know, in order that they are not ensnared by the above blue pill mindset. It enslaves the individual. But it allows them to be enslaved as well. These are the kinds of patterns that are noticed in the red pill:

• A girl will generally sleep around in her twenties, and look to settle down in her thirties, when it is convenient for her. 
• A womans sexual market value is highest in her twenties. As she grows older than that, she is not prepared to have lost access to her earlier options, and often resents no longer having these. 
• Women in their twenties have a great deal of attention. A young girls DM's scroll onto infinity with hundreds of messages like "Hi", "How are you?"
• Women will lie about their body count and earlier experiences most of the time. If she went to Uni, she probably engaged in Uni party life. If she did, most women will not tell you. 
• 1/3rd of marriages over 40 are sexless (1/4th over 30). After the variety in her 20's. Many women get bored of sex with one person and will not sleep with their husbands.  
• The marriage laws are strongly in favour of women, to the extent it is often so bad that the man ends up killing himself not being able to escape the alimony and child support payments. 
• Women all believe themselves worthy of the top 2% of guys. Whatever their actual value is. These guys tend to sleep with all the women and the bottom 80% are ignored. 

And on and on. 

So how do these rules help?

Lack of access for a lot of men:

I think this is incorrectly labelled. I think it is the amount of men with no sex in a year, but most of these will be virgins. 

What is the Hallmark card + Single mother worldview? That things will just kind of "work out". As they do for women. There will always be some sort of option. This is a strongly held piece of the blue pill belief. It is the world we are presented with when we are young. 

The problem is, that it is not true. One of the valuable things that men get from the red pill is the knowledge that if they are single. That there is not necessarily anything deeply wrong with them. 

Women, all women seemingly. Are vicious about putting down "incels". It is their most important go to insult. They even say it of people like Michael Sartain (player) And Rollo Tomassi (Married for something like thirty years).

Obviously, one of the important elements of the red pill is for guys to not be told, falsely, by the world, that there is something massively wrong with them if they are single. 

A girls DM's.

When I was younger with blue pill beliefs. Womens behaviour confused me. In that, I expected some sort of reciprocation. The maze of female responses being half hearted and not knowing what strange hoops I would have to jump through to make it work. I just didn't have a way to navigate that. As Hollywood doesn't portray that reality at all.  

I want to note here that each one of these things allows a person to become LESS of a manipulative burden to women. The natural outgrowth of this belief system is to boycott women. To stop any attempts to manipulate them because... well, it makes complete sense! If a girl has a hundred other options. That is quite the competition. 

Deadly Tradcons:

Putting a few of these things together. A girl then sleeps around in her twenties. "Finds Jesus" in her thirties. Becomes a controlling monster by taking the moral high ground as an ex hoe. And hates her husband because he is not as good as her options in her twenties. Probably meaning he has a sexless marriage. 

Perhaps he was one of the above guys. A virgin, or almost a virgin until marriage. He has done everything right and expects some exciting sex now. He wants to live life and appreciate women!  

Lol, just lol! 

"He was such a NARCISSIST"!

Many women deal with getting run through by the top 2% as mentioned. This often happens with the girls full free will co operation. They might have said "I liked the bad boys". But after three years of fully consented to abuse, they are broken and bitter. Or they said to a rich "high value" man, "I am OK with only casual". But had hoped he would fall in love with her. Then when he does not, they get enraged. 

Still more were actually flat out manipulated by men that wouldn't commit. But even this, does not absolve her of responsibility as much as might seem so at first. 

There is a blue pill trap of "sympathy". In that, you hear that a girl, as she tells it, was mistreated by a "narcissist". And you feel incredibly bad for her. Which allows her to take the liberties in a relationship that a legitimate victim might have.  

Lack of virtue has consequences. 

Somewhere in the world today, many places in the world in fact. There is a girl, who is making these mistakes, and it will end badly. She is perhaps in her twenties. 

She has a brother, who is a bit more right wing, and knows about these social trends. And wants to interact with her, and would advise her on these things generally, if they were to be in contact. Perhaps he is aware that her 'baby rabies' will come in at 30 and she should at least be aware that having kids is an option. He might advise her to be careful with dumping high value men in her twenties. He might look clear through any guy that was trying to manipulate her and challenge situations such as "long term relationship that doesn't commit". 

But, this young girl, has a lot of left wing friends and she does everything by the left she is told. So she literally doesn't see her brother. Perhaps she creates convenient and deliberate disagreements to justify this. But, she doesn't see him. He doesn't have any benefit from his connection with her (which is a conscious choice on her behalf), and she explicitly doesn't have, and doesn't want, any benefit from her relationship with him. 

This, is a lack of virtue. It is a lack of love. She probably has a huge social life and her brother is more boring. 

But of course, ten years down the line. Say he has made something of himself with a better belief system. Then she might want or need his help and support.

Knowing these red pill things. It doesn't allow the girl to use the get out clause of "playing the victim". No one cares if your last boyfriend was a "narcissist". Because it is a set of results that came from your lack of virtue. 

This, as I see it, is Gods plan. Accountability is Gods plan.  

Conclusion:

Women whining about the red pill will never stop the red pill. Even government force is not capable of stopping the red pill. So I suppose, from this perspective, this article needn't have been written. 

These patterns/ teachings exist because men need to be aware of them. They are a survival need to escape from predatory women. Not predatory for sex obviously. But predatory for resources and the endless need to exist free of accountability.  

Reflections on non violence.

Second blog of the day. I did the last one only a few hours ago.

I will assume knowledge of the Lord of the Rings books, or even films, for this blog. Since it is such a popular cultural phenomena. 

Youtube: First Timers: I Don't Know If Tolkein Was Right, dated February 14th 2026:

https://youtu.be/X0z1mXXtXZU?si=kEfOkWesN0Jb53Zs

Many interesting points offered in this video. Most of this guys channel is devoted to Lord of the Rings, so many of them are highlighting something interesting in the text and often adding a somewhat philosophical take.

Originally, this was a big sticking point for me. In 'The Hobbit'. Bilbo gets lost in a cave, after escaping Goblins. Gollum, behaving and looking fully like a creature from hell. Offers to play a game of three riddles with Bilbo. If Bilbo wins, he will show Bilbo the way out. If Bilbo loses, he is eaten by Gollum. 

What a sick little creature honestly. What a horrible disgusting little reptile to not offer help to someone lost in caves, and try to manipulate your way to get them to agree to being eaten instead. It did not seem sensible for me at all, for Bilbo to have spared Gollum. It didn't matter what Gandalf said about 'do you have the right/ power/ chance to give it to them?'. This is a non issue. Slice off his head and be done with it! 

But more recently. I feel it is easier to capture what might have been being said here.

Firstly. The message here is NOT to falter in the face of evil. I did originally think that. The message is not that cowardice is the preferred moral choice. Why? Well, the story in general, the Lord of the Rings. Is precisely NOT about this. Frodo and the rest of them are standing up, sometimes with violence. Against evil that is completely terrifying. Evil such as the Nazgul.

To see the virtue in this path of 'mercy'. Not only to Gollum as the video shows. It might be worth expanding this idea out a little bit. Tolkien. I believe he fought in both wars. Regardless, he was alive for both wars. 

For the sake of this blog we will assume the mainstream paradigm of Allies = Good and Germans/ Nazi's = Evil. Although that is probably not the whole story. But Tolkien, and people he spoke with, were probably in some very morally dicey situations as soldiers. They probably dealt with enemy soldiers, thieves, even rapists. They had to take over towns sometimes. They had to manage the towns they had taken over. Sometimes, they probably had to withdraw from those same towns. Perhaps to fight on another front.

While it might make sense with this singular, evil creature in a cave to take off his head. Expand that out to a collective situation. In any particular town. Some of these people would be real killers. 

But you can't kill them all! And you can't really know, really look into their hearts, to know if they are going to change in the future. Whether the killers settle down into quiet farming life after the war ends. have kids. Loved their wives. Etc.

If you were to assume you had that god like judgement to deal out that justice. Then what would you become? Say you looked at every criminal within one of these villages you had overtaken. And you killed them all. Wouldn't you then become the monster? 

It is a set of events, that, to me, doesn't make a great deal of sense when they are restricted to the things that happened in the book. But when you consider their impact on the larger society. They make complete sense. 

This is a side note, but how Arwen idealises Aragorn is another thing that invading soldiers might experience. And to have the wisdom to refrain from 'partaking' would probably be the better move. The knowledge of how shallow and false Arwens feelings were. How they were based on other things. Other pains, she was trying to escape. 

The only thing that is not quite fixed for me. The only thing where I still wonder at the message. Is Gollum at mount Doom. Dealing the decisive blow against the ring when Frodo failed. That the evil, weak, being was fully necessary, to fight the evil. That that incredible sense of fortune or fate, made up for Frodo's weakness. 

Is there this sense of fate in such matters? 

This is in the realm of things that can't be known. But I feel that the fact that Tolkien was very clear with other individuals, that if you grant mercy, even to a ridiculous extent, you are not always rewarded. They do not always fortuitously return the kindness. Sometimes they leave only misery in their wake, after the mercy you granted them. Sometimes there is literally nothing that you can objectively look at to justify the decision to have mercy on evildoers. I feel like this is deliberate and important.

All interesting things to ponder I think.  

Meditation is key!

The effects of meditation are pretty unbelievably profound for me. 

Not profound in a "woo- woo" way. But profound in a practical way.

It feels like. Everything is just a bit more 'in tune'. It feels like, every decision is just 10% better. Life is 10% better. 

I have meditated around about 20 days now. The first ten days was with a pyramid and the Law of One book 2 next to me. Then I realised I had a bit of an issue and got kind of overenergised. Since then I have kept it to normal meditation. This all started because I am doing prayer regularly. 

I have made BIG insights via dreams. 

Music is the next priority. There are two very powerful insights I have that relate to this. 

1:- I need to stop going on social media and arguing with stupid people and/ or leftists (per my last post). Obviously this is not a useful use of my time. I consider it kind of important for me in a sense since I spend a lot of time alone so am kind of lonely. So what I have decided, which I might change, is that I prioritise music. I play music before I log onto reddit. 

2:- And this is even bigger. One of the things I have wondered if I should do is writing erotic stories. I have wondered this a LOT. I have, in my human design chart. Two placements that make me think this might be necessary. One of them is 58.2 in detriment. A genius for perverse stimulation that afflicts oneself and others by promoting degeneracy and reducing joy to indulgence and decadence. 

There is also a line in the Law of One that says that if you have a perverse desire, the only thing that can be done is play it out in the imagination.

For this reason, I have thought maybe the thing to do with the sex drive then is to make erotic stories. Which I have tried to do.

But today, BIG insight. From trying very hard to figure out if erotic stories were the right thing to do. By comparing it with what happens when I am doing music stuff. I have determined, finally, that erotic stories is NOT the right thing to do. And that music, it just makes everything work where the stories kind of confuse anything. They feel like opposites. Where erotic stories bring a heaviness, music brings a lightness and quick, useable, insights. 

There is more to say, but I am in a good mood now and about to get down to some music practice. I also want to plan my life around music properly. A big part of what often holds me up is that I need to carve out time to do music related things but not actually music. Things like writing stave music.  

Disturbing insights.

Got to admit. I am a "little" wired at the moment. I mentioned, casually, how chocolate interacts with my medical situation. In that it is needed. Because I wanted to make sure my digestion was OK. After stopping it for one day I decided I needed it to day so I had a LOT. A big bar of dark chocolate. The chemically best one to get I think. It is not clear whether I did or did not need that much. Now I am WIRED!

About 45 minutes ago, I wrote a FANTASTIC post on the subreddit for the Mentalist. I can't remember where I learned this, I think it was some random film youtube channel but also, another way, from Media Studies I did at A- level. But it is based on something I have observed over a lot of media. Partly helped by various youtube videos. What I am referring to is that shows put a lot of hints of upcoming events. It is something to do with making our subconscious accept things. 

One thing I think happens with Hollywood writers. Is that, they have talked over stories so much that they really do know the ins and outs of things. When we watch them, there is the implication that it is all a bit random. A kind of ongoing Dunning Kruger effect where the dim, or in this case inexperienced, (the audience) underestimate how complicated a thing is. 

The amount of conspiratorial things that can be found in shows is quite amazing. A basic one to start off with, that is confirmed. Is that in Breaking Bad, the pictures on Walters wall in his class room are meant to show ahead of time what happened with Jane. 

But it goes far deeper than that. OH does it go deeper. The back stories I have seen in Film Theory, especially on Wall- E and Shrek. Have shown really specific things put into stories that show very specific and sinister back stories. (Another more ridiculous one: Is Kevin from Home Alone the Saw Killer?)

So I put together one of the ones I have noticed about "The Mentalist". The Mentalist was a show that had a very exciting and "mythical" serial killer (called "Red John"). It is known as one of the best serial killers. But a problem with the show is that what SEEMED to happen. Is that the writers didn't appear to know what they were doing, and they said publicly they had not decided on who the serial killer was going to be even late into Season 5, when they had dropped a bunch of hints about who it was!

This literally gives people a bit of a bad experience since the events at the end of Season 3 seemed like a better way for Red John to go out, rather than the actual end of Red John in Season 6. 

Watching the show, I have seen very specific hints from Season 1 about who the killer was. Many absolutely direct ones. So I wrote a post about it. One of the hints I explored, which was related, was that one of the other serial killers followers, was Red Johns son. 

Then later, I went back to the post, realising another additional piece of the puzzle. The character in questions second name was Johnson... Literally John - son. Going back to those hints I mention. I said I consider that a correct theory. 

It is pretty cool to uncover something like this. BUT, it has shown something about human nature to me. 

REDDIT. I have made another similar insight into Breaking Bad. A similar insight into Walters motivation and hints in the show of why things went down as they did. It was good. It was marked down. 

I had mentioned the Todd Johnson connection on reddit before before I had put together the clue of John - son. 

It is early days. My post was marked down to zero; someone disliked it, now it is back to 1. But my best posts on this website. A stargate one (where one of the show runners asked for ideas and I dropped several paragraphs, I was the only one to and it was disliked a few times!), the Breaking Bad ones with that theory, and this one. Have all got a lukewarm or negative reception. 

It feels as though people see these responses. And mark them down because they are intelligent and these people resent them! 

This is all I have to say. It is... not a good or comfortable theory on human nature to hold. Because it includes a certain level of what feels like "narcissism". "People are not nice to me because they resent my intelligence". My intelligence is fairly high. I have had it tested at Mensa and I will not give the number. I will say two things. A) It was not high enough to get into Mensa B) It was outside a standard deviation on the high side. So if someone has an IQ score a standard deviation lower than mine, they would still be higher than the upper average of intelligence. 

Which means I basically can't communicate with women outside a statistical minority, making it harder to get laid! Since there are less high IQ women than men, women cluster around the mean far more, and you can't have meaningful communication more than one SD apart. I do quite ruthlessly discern a womans intelligence when I meet her. 

It is an uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable theory for my life. I am someone that has been beaten down a lot. Unwell, unemployed, chronically single, no friends. As we all have in this society in truth. Or at least most of us. So it is not comfortable to put this forward as a theory. But it does fit. 

I remember when I started getting really into right wing politics. People absolutely lost their minds. It was around the same time that I was getting involved in videos on narcissism and suddenly reflecting on my past as well. 

It was a weird moment. Because two things seemed true at the same time. My "friends" and family had suddenly lost their minds over inconvenient, political opinions. But also, at the same time as this, I was having deeper insights into my past and the fact that I had been ostracised, both now, and in said past. Sometimes in almost identical situations (Me learning about the transit of Jupiter, these happened 12 years apart!)

The only theory that fits is that it was not actually the right wing politics. It seemed more that people chose the right wing politics as their issue. But it reflected something else. And perhaps that is intelligence. They ostracised me in my late teens and 20's for intelligence. They also ostracised me in my early 30's for intelligence, but they stuck a convenient label of "right wing" on it the second time.