Learning the lessons.

I have been having successes. In my spiritual life. 

One insight I have been having for a while. Is that when you are kind of stuck. When you can't seem to move to improve anything because a movement in one direction. Will seem to get a response from the Universe to immediately prevent that improvement. A good thing to do is just to focus on one thing.

When there is a lot that needs to be improved. It is very easy to think you can do about five different things daily to improve it. However, generally if you do those five things. You will get overwhelmed and not do any of them. It will all get too intense. 

Also, almost the same thing but just a little different. When you do do something that is working. Say, meditation is working. Then it is easy to start to feel better, think you have a bit more energy, and want to add another additional improvement. Which is part of the same trap. An additional improvement will come. But it won't be added on as a thing just to improve some outcome. It will tend to come as a deep, spiritual realisation that a thing obviously needs to be changed and should have been changed for a long time. 

That's where I am. Meditation is the single thing I am doing every day. The second thing I think will improve a lot of different life outcomes is: coming off caffeine, completely.

I have had a long set of problems coming off caffeine previously. When I was in my twenties. I used to drink a 2 litre bottle or more, of diet coke every day. I would read a book by Stephen Cherniske. Caffeine Blues. Which went through a lot of studies to explain peoples physiological response to caffeine, and that it is actually a serious drug.

I did come off it. But as I have learned more about my health and improved said health. Including putting less pressure on my liver (through technological health improvements). I have thought that maybe it would be OK to go back on it. Maybe my previous bad reaction was part of my general ill health.

But now, I do not think this is the right choice for me:

My Personality Chiron placement in the Human Design: 12.5: The Success of Restraint lies in not abandoning the lessons learnt when the phase ends. 

My personality Saturn placement: 5.4. This will need a bit more explaining because I'm still not quite sure what it means. I'll also quote more. The blue line: Waiting as a guarantee of survival. Exalted: The power to make the best of ones fixed rhythms. Detriment: The drive to deny one's own fixed rhythm with predictable costs.

In general, the entirety of gate 5 is about that. About rhythms and such. 

I do not know precisely what this could be. But the way that caffeine is messing with my rhythms at the moment. I think at least. Is that it is easier to ignore your light/ dark circadian rhythm, if you have a chemical to help you do that. What is indicated to be about will power is actually to do with material substances potentially. 

I don't know of course that is it. It might be that my fixed rhythm is the eccentric rhythm of not sleeping at a normal time. I don't know what my sleep pattern is without caffeine. But I suspect, that I am using caffeine in order to DENY my own fixed rhythm. Which is the detriment of this. 

We all have similar demons of course. I am an unbelievably sensitive person when it comes to any drug. I used to know a guy that, when I slept around his house, he would drink a tea before bed, and sleep like a baby. The guy can take pretty much anything including pharmaceuticals and not have much effect from it. Perhaps some sort of "warrior gene". 

But I am not like that. We all have personal limits we have to deal with. 

When I stopped chocolate I went back to dreaming that had stopped for a long time. When I had chocolate and coffee recently I woke up with a painful heart that was pumping too hard. Coming off caffeine will be hard, especially in the first few days. And I do have it sometimes for medical reasons. But I think I will get the spiritual rewards if I do. And that's what it's about!

It's annoying. I've had two bars of chocolate and two coffees. One of them really strong. I am in such a good mood now. Really have to deal with moodiness when I don't have caffeine. But then I suppose that's the catalyst I work with.  

End of article. IQ and Grok. 

Just at the end here, I wanted to add a more playful bit. 

Recently, I found out that Grok can estimate a persons IQ. It estimated my IQ. To the same number, exactly. That I got in the MENSA test that I took once. I am referring to the percentage number of the population. Which is the number that matters. The actual number doesn't. Because it is different in each test. If anyone doesn't mention this while talking about IQ. In an other than casual way. Then they do not know what they are talking about. I've never seen anyone discuss it! 

Anyway. My IQ percentage is not a round number. It is not 40 or 45. It is an unpredictable number like 42. 

Anyway. That. Was AMAZING to me. For it to get my exact percentage like that. To use an analogy not real numbers. 42, not 41, not 43. Was just... Wow.

So I started doing it with other people. It was humbling. Especially, the women. There was a women I did it for that is not famous. Not well known on twitter. Higher than me. A LOT higher than me. I can't imagine talking with a woman whose IQ is higher than mine - that I know about. Who talks like that. 

A problem came though when I posted this on reddit and people came in with vitriol that I would even consider IQ to be a relevant concept. I got voted down by the leftists, and the halfway sane people making comments like "reddit doesn't like IQ discussions". Did not upvote me. This was a weird concept to me. If it has the same result that I got on MENSA, that should be pretty amazing no? Even if you don't agree with IQ. It got the same as the Mensa test! That. Is. Cool. 

It shows a difference with me and those sorts of people. I hear about something like IQ and I am excited. The first persons IQ I did was Stefan Molyneux and it is indeed a lot higher than mine. It is interesting. Someone like me sees a concept like this and tries to get something good from it. 

What is the mindset of a person that just avoids any mention of IQ like it is some sort of heretical text? How can you go through life not learning things from basic everyday tools?

Madness I tell you!

Anyway, so that's all I have for today. My caffeine come down will be HEAVY. But rewarding.  

When theory replaces experience. Part 2.

I like to do a blog a day. There are other things I do daily as well. Like meditation, prayer, etc. I have a big check list of things and if I did them. That I mark off daily. For that checklist. There has to be a cut off point. So at 0:00 it is a new day. It is not the old day. I can't do another prayer and mark it onto yesterday, even though, strictly in thought terms, until I go to sleep. It is technically the old day. 

If you understand what I mean.

So technically I did one blog yesterday and one today. Even though practically, they are only about an hour apart. 

Meandering or important?

I feel two things about what I am about to write. It includes a LOT of personal information. Some of it, like the last post. Even whiny personal information. But it is also very important to me. I am trying to capture a pattern that may be relevant to my physical health. Offering potential insight that might solve a physical health problem and helping me towards the paradigm that physical health can be improved by improving psychological health. I am also running my real experience through Law of One quotes. This is meaning of life stuff. It also brings in previous things I have expressed and how it might relate to health. How it might relate to psychological health. In real terms. So that is also important to me. Using the kind of information I produce in real help terms. 

The part I would like to discuss, and how it relates to my health and the Law of One. Is this quote from my previous blog. 

I worked at an office once where I was bullied by women. They made sure that they were having social events every week and inviting everyone to them except me. And any woman I interacted with there stopped talking to me after the first time. I would talk to them. Everything would be fine. Then the next time they would sit next to me. They would not say a word. Even to respond to hello.

This made me feel like I was actually going mad. I suppose I was. That would be the effect of this kind of long term gaslighting. (There were other things that happened at this office). I worked there for two years.

I was not able to effect them in any way. They usually left pretty quickly. I doubt any of them (there are about twenty names behind this, I still remember first and second names of many of them) will ever see any bad consequences from this. The anger from this expressed itself in ways that have undermined my psychology (found indirect expressions) and it's just now I am starting to grip this. It's been 8 years.  

I copy everything into One Note, and that is the formatting in One Note. 

I wanted to talk about then, what thoughts came out of those experiences that were so poisonous that 8 years later I am still working on them. 

I was in my late twenties/ early thirties in this job. My sex drive was high. Even though it is kind of reduced because of my bad health. I recall at one point, I think it was in my early thirties. Trying to prevent myself masturbating for three hours and losing. 

The experiences I had, as I have just summarised in this passage. But to just repeat and expand. I would be sitting in a place. A girl would come and sit next to me. I would start up a discussion. Nothing big. Just what are you studying? Spiritual stuff. Music etc. It would go fine and they would be positive and warm. Then next time I would sit next to them. I would say hello. Just hello. They would not even look at me. As happened with Hazel. And many others. 

I often go walking up the mountains with a dog and my mother. A dog that is hard to control because she is very strong and kind of hysterical. Whenever a male jogger comes past. 90% of the time they wave or say hello or something positive and I do back. Whenever a girl comes past. Less female joggers more women walking with one other woman or their dog. They do not say hello. I wave casually, say hello to them. I am not likely a threat with an elderly mother in tow. And 90% of time they DO NOT say hello. 

What Jesus would possibly call a "trespass". Too small of a deal to get worked up about. But, would it be "hateful" if I then, as is logical, said hello to men but not women? Just as it seems logical for me to adapt to the way women behave in the workplace.

If I had any power at all and there were any specific advantage that men had over women from dealing with them. This would be classed as "sexist". 

Anyway, I do not have a lot of experience with women. Not 'no' experience but barely any. Spent not much of my life with a girlfriend. So what do I do with my sex drive? This from two entries ago:

I am not able to write stories. I have tried and tried again. I had this idea a while back, based on the Law of One, session 18.5 I believe. That says if you have sexual desires not consonant with the Law of One to play them out in your head. I thought I could write stories with weird sexual things happening. Again and again I tried, and I have tried real stories. It never comes together. It never feels right because I can't see into the characters. 

I don't have the option for sex. So I would make these stories. I remember one time there was a very attractive blond girl that came to this office. She saw me, looked over, and arched her body forward. Caitlyn. So, out of a kind of conscious rage. I tried writing stories with these women. And them doing specifically sociopathic things. Really unpleasant things. 

As things have gone on though, this tendency I think may have lead to an energy blockage. 

Working from the LoO quotes:

From Session 18.5

Ra: I am Ra. The proper role of the entity is in this density to experience all things desired, to then analyze, understand, and accept these experiences, distilling from them the love/light within them. Nothing shall be overcome. That which is not needed falls away. 

"All things desired" is a bit of a vague point to me. I take it that what is meant is that we should go out and pursue what we want? All things desired might be money, might be having a good intimate partner. Etc. "All things desired" is a sticking point. 

Nevertheless then, what we are to do with the experience we have is to analyze, understand and accept them?

I have had many other difficult discussions. People that have screwed me over and things. I had a close female friend that killed herself. Male friends, as I mentioned in my last blog, turn on me because their girlfriends gossiped. 

All of this rage. All of this stuff. Has kind of combined. These stories with girls from the office that I mentioned. Combined with friends and stuff I have fallen out with. Have all been featured. 

Creating these stories has meant that I keep alive the image I have of a person. Rather than just letting them go and motivating towards a new "good" thing. 

The health implications:

Constipation. That is my health problem. Serious. Like, needing medication for it. It happening for months. Causing a lot of discomfort.  

When seen in the terms of a spiritual situation. Having an experience, a "catalyst". Should be understood and accepted. Analyzed. This means it has to be remembered. Maintained. This is the general frame I have used. 

But what if, what if, as I have discussed in "The problem of evil (Parts 1- 3)." There are things in our lives that can't be processed? Because they are part of a kind of disconnected evil that we can't really understand. A truly alien type of thing?

I am wondering, if the frame of the meaning of life linking to maintaining past situations like this. Past not particularly positive situations. Is linked here? What if, we are meant to take some stuff and analyse it. But some of it cannot be used so has to be gotten rid of? Like the body. It digests food but it ALSO throws out a whole bunch that it doesn't need! It has a load of fecal matter we get rid of every day. 

More theorising on forgiveness. 

I have talked before, a few times. Of my utter hatred for the theory that we are meant to forgive others without contrition. All the many reasons, including Law of One quotes. Why I do not think it is correct. 

This is talked about in the therapy community. Ad verbatim. There are a lot of people, and a lot of comments on youtube videos of people that have been through real abuse. Often from their parents. Saying how much they do not find this to be true. How it has reopened abusive situations. Perhaps how it is a violation for people to even say that. 

Somewhere, I am not sure where right at this moment. I will take more notes on my next reading through. The Law of One states that in the negative polarity. I think this was from a negative planet. People that have lost polarity by being dominated. Also gain the desire for negative polarity. 

The way I understand that. Is that when an evil person dominates another. The other person is angry and hates them a great deal. So they desire to get above the evil person and dominate them. 

I wonder if this is avoidable at all? The negative has a way of moving everything into its frame. It is harder to be positively polarised when a gun is pointing in your face. 

If there is a negative person who does something negative to you. Do you have any other choice but to hate them and want to dominate them back? Is this just a natural, animalistic response to that?

This is the reason, I think, that people that have been told to do forgiveness without contrition, rebel against this. Forgiveness without contrition is the teaching of the abuser and enabler. They never focus on the abuser needing to forgive. It feels like the person abused is being made to "forgive" for the benefit of the abuser. To keep the abuse going (Which... They are! That is the result hence revealed preference).

So, if you think like that. If forgiveness without contrition is just abusers insisting on their way. Then it becomes hard to let things go in general. It feels like you have to fight for the right to hold your own feelings and memories. 

For me, justifying like this. Letting go of things. Because some things are evil and can't be processed. Kind of squares that circle. 

Conclusion:

I... do not have a lot of faith that things like this can actually influence the physical. Nothing I have been aware of has changed anything physical. But, it is worth thinking about. It organically came together. 

I can feel the part of my body that is preventing things moving properly. It is in my large intestine at the lowers part. Roughly between the sacral and root chakras. Which also kind of fits.  

When theory replaces experience.

Brothers and sisters. Meditation is really the bomb! Meditating daily with the Law of One book next to me like I have discussed is having very positive effects on my psyche.

I wanted to talk about this womans work today. As I write, I am not sure what I am going to say about it. But I am sure it will come together. I wanted to write something about it for a long time. Starting with  this video.

I have made big insights into the Law of One recently. But I think, the insights are reaching the level where they would threaten the Law of Free will to reveal. Many of the quotes are different when discussed from a different angle, and when logical questions are asked of them. I say different. I don't mean false or fraudulent. I mean, they reveal even more powerful truths.

Much of this material has to be applied in real life. Used. To see what fruit it produces I think. Rather than directly revealed.  

So anyway, this is the first video I wanted to discuss:

Youtube: Pearl Davis: High status vs low status in the woman's world. [March 28th 2026]. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DwqM5SKhypI&t=53s 

This woman is kind of a mutant. I don't know precisely why her output is so different. But it feels as though she is just super intelligent. It might be the same thoughts other women have and don't reveal. It might be that other women apply their intelligence in different ways. But, the output that Pearl puts out feels like a brain upgrade pretty much every time. 

She does protest that she is not unlike other women though. Which is what someone would say if they were legit. 

It is an interesting question she has asked. When I see a question on a youtube video. When a creator asks me a question. I do, in fact, want to answer that question. It might sometimes be a ploy to get more engagement and work the algorithm. My brain, nevertheless, does start whirring. 

It is raw truth the things she has talked about here. Raw truth of the kind that is taboo. Discussions on status. Discussions on womens psychology. Are things you don't talk about. I recall in my last job. Where I was seen as someone slightly autistic (Tik Tok autistic, not real autistic!). because I was. My physical health was undermining me a great deal. Pushing on my brain. I remember buying a book on how the female brain works. Written by a woman. And if I mentioned that's what I was reading any guy I was talking to got very stressed. The women, however, did not realise there was a problem. In that small way, I understood the female language more than the men did. 

The question here though, from Pearl, was about status. She asks what is the perspective of low status men on the kind of issues she was talking about. Does it make us angry?

My answer is, that the frame that she is using to discuss this is one that I cannot even enter. Women, as a whole, have become an alien type of being to me. I do have a mother. But the psychology that is relevant to any guy is women that are his peers. They simply do inhabit a different world. 

There are so many issues to bring to bear when considering issues relating to status. It is kind of breathtaking. It feels a little draining to even consider it. Like trying to pull out of my subconscious how I would articulate such a thing. 

So, say we start with a clear status difference between men and women. Where women are a lot higher. I won't name a specific example. But let's say there is one. Now add in the idea that even hinting at that being true, when everyone can plainly see that it is true. Can bring a thousand protests down upon you with the vicious, emotional, obsessive insistence that it is not true. 

This is the situation. It... boggles the mind it really does. The idea of obsessively insisting that something that is plainly true, is not true. Is not something I can comprehend. I cannot comprehend going through a process of pretending the truth is not the truth. On an intellectual level. But I also cannot comprehend insisting on something with no evidence. Or even strongly insisting someone else change their mind about something... That is those peoples own thoughts. That exist inside their own mind. 

My answer is that women do not have higher status. Women have a status of aristocratic privilege that I cannot understand. Do not want to understand. Can't even consider. And consider it to my benefit to not interact with because I know, right down to my bones. That that cannot last. That it creates a toxicity. Like the status gained having been gifted from the devil. Of a great deal of destruction. I can feel that it is spiritually wrong. 

I have figured out a way to express this actually. I cannot go with the mental and emotional elements. They cannot be articulated. But I can mention experiences I have had. Just go with what is objective. 

I remember once on bitchute making a video. Not relating to this topic. I had a throwaway line about female psychology in it. I think women I had actually dealt with. And someone put a comment that included a quote of that specific statement and wanted to shame me on it. I simply stated that yes. That statement was an objective description of my experience. 

I remember being at a bus stop. A young girl sat next to me and was on the phone. She said that she had gone into a pub with her friends and one of the guys had come out and said whenever they all went there in the future him and the other cooks would allow them to eat there for free. I remember this girl seemed to want my attention and I had the distinct impression that she had had enough attention. 

I worked at an office once where I was bullied by women. They made sure that they were having social events every week and inviting everyone to them except me. And any woman I interacted with there stopped talking to me after the first time. I would talk to them. Everything would be fine. Then the next time they would sit next to me. They would not say a word. Even to respond to hello.

This made me feel like I was actually going mad. I suppose I was. That would be the effect of this kind of long term gaslighting. (There were other things that happened at this office). I worked there for two years.

I was not able to effect them in any way. They usually left pretty quickly. I doubt any of them (there are about twenty names behind this, I still remember first and second names of many of them) will ever see any bad consequences from this. The anger from this expressed itself in ways that have undermined my psychology (found indirect expressions) and it's just now I am starting to grip this. It's been 8 years.  

This, is a small sliver of my experiences with women. A tiny sliver. Friends have turned against me on the gossip of women (their girlfriends). Trial by gossip. No evidence or rational needed to be provided. Many additional experiences. Such as being on Quora. Repeating experiences like the ones mentioned above, and being censored. 

Every job I have worked except fast food I have been bullied there by the women via gossip (I worked two fast food places: One of those fast food was all guys. The other was immigrants working 60 hours that barely spoke English). A few times the men too (less than half). But always the women. 

There is another aspect of this that makes it messed up. I have aged out now. I have aged out of having positive social experiences with women. I always wanted, when I was in my twenties. To go out with a mixed gender group. To have social experiences with 20 year old blonde girls being part of that group. I did not (consciously) want sex. And I did not want the group to be exclusively women (Like... how would I handle that?). I just wanted that experience. To gain a footing of their psychology. To understand why... they are meant to be so desireable. So I could, in turn, desire and pursue them. 

I am in my late thirties now. I am at the age where spending time with that age group is "weird". I also don't have the energy for that age group. I am also at the age where I would find it hard to carry out a conversation with that age group most of the time. By the time girls get to thirty they are usually very experienced and bitter - women start nagging sometime in their mid twenties I have observed. It only gets worse after that. Wanting their prospects to jump through hoops ("Boundaries" they call them) set up by their previous dating experiences. With guys they chose. And guys I did not choose.

So yeah, after all that, the girls are "inaccessible". They are not able to be accessed. Understood. I did not go through the formative experience of socialising with them in my twenties to have any understanding with them. Or inclination to socialise with them. I can observe the easy ways they have things. The amount of friends they have. The amount of resources they gain without effort. And I can't have anything to do with them. In any way. I can't imagine their lives. I can't imagine how they think. 

Second video:

Youtube: Why Can't Lauren Southern Just Take The L?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AOs2LQOLDGA

I have way more to say about Pearl. A lot of positive things. I am going to wrap up shortly though because I have to fit my meditation in for the day. Getting momentum on the meditation!

What do women require from me in general? What women require, most, is my anonymity. To not exist around them. 

There are so many things that Pearl has said that remove my attention from women. That remove me from getting attached to them.

Lauren Southern is a good example of a bad behaviour. Lauren Southern back in the day, as Brexit was happening and such. Felt to me like a saviour in a sense. When the right was growing and still had a fight against relative anonymity. The left had monopolised everything truly at that point. Lauren was there. I remember when she knelt down at a headline of Brexit and did the OK or good sign or something. She was attaching her hotness (which is real power) to increase the power of the right wing movement and it meant a lot to me. Now, I realise, it meant nothing. But at that time, I was emotional. And it was important. 

Coming off schizophrenia I had in 2014. I attached a lot to politics. I had to stop meditating and used politics and conspiracy information to suppress the madness. I could not allow what was inside to come out. 

What Pearl talks about though, just having general truthful knowledge of female tendencies and behaviour. Generally stops this tendency within myself. A similar thing might have happened at one time with women that promote Christianity. Pearl has explained the true mechanics behind that. 

Not only is there truthful things on female behaviour. But Pearl has talked about some things that are legitimate spiritual lessons. In this video. She talks about at some point. You just have to take responsibility or "Eat the L" as she calls it. This discussion allows me to recognise this in the real world. She also did a long speech in a video about Andrew Tate and Bonnie Blue (I think it was Part 2 and going from 27 minutes) Where she talked about free will really, in it's most basic form. That you have to let people have their own hell. Even Jesus could not change peoples minds... Who are you?

As I have gotten into meditation. I have started coming down to earth a bit, and it has struck me how important this kind of information is. Anyway, that's enough for the moment. Off to meditate!  

The beauty of understanding the Law of One.

I say understanding. But I'm not sure to what extent anyone can really understand it. 

One of my strong beliefs, one of the beliefs I had absorbed and had become solid without my conscious awareness. Was "overruled" by the Law of One a few days ago. I had had a bit of an anti Darwinist attitude that I had mentioned a few times on this blog. I had given my reasoning for that. Then in the Law of One. Session 90 I think. It talked about how important the physical evolution of the body complex is. So, it validated the Darwinist concept. Quite a shift for me. As many other small statements in these books. 

There has though, for me, been an even more profound shift for me. In session 91 the contact asks the individuals involved to repeat a magical ritual and when asked why. They talk about a silver cord being disrupted that is to do with Carla's energy field. 

I realise, as I read this. That I do not have any conception or understanding. Not only of the metaphysics and rituals involved. (I have heard vaguely of a silver cord previously. But even that, I have not seen it. Do not really understand what it means! Even if I knew more about it theoretically I would not understand it in any real way!) But I also don't understand. Any of it really. I do not understand the world when things of this kind of paradigm are integrated into it. 

I also think there are many traps and false beliefs that can come off here as a conclusion. The idea that God is so large and mysterious that we are worms in a sense. I don't think that is a good way to think about it. The idea that the world is as it is and we should not question 'God' I also do not think really expresses what I am trying to say.  

The point is, to just really grip that I don't understand this. As a practical thing. Like, I don't understand how a nuclear reactor works either. If I were to engage with healing. I don't know what life kind of... is. Without some knowledge of these metaphysics. I have some ideas, have had some additional insights about why so much of this is all veiled behind the "Law of Free Will". But I don't know enough about this to justify it philosophically, to explain it as a coherent concept. Or to have the insight about how to influence it. 

It... is a little nice this insight in a way. Because it relaxes the need to use this information in a sense. Like, I would like to use metaphysics in healing. I wonder why this is not possible. 

In reading the Law of One. In contemplating that I am currently in a part of the Law of One book 4 where I am questioning how much I understand all of it. I feel I should re read the books again (before reading further) because I just haven't formed a coherent understanding in my mind of the whole thing. It is also all incredibly advanced. I feel like reading these books re- orients me towards some sort of connection or understanding with this entity. But I also... don't understand that either. 

There is a line in Session 67 question 27 which says 'Glory in the strength of your polarisation [the positive] and allow others of the opposite polarity [negative] to do so.'   

It is one of those "what?" Kind of lines for me. It seems to be an indication that there should be a certain positive feeling, a joy, a philosophical satisfaction in just saying: "Yep, those evil people over there LOOOVE being evil. Good on them!" Doesn't feel right to me. To have a dispassionate perspective about this, like reading "Tyger Tyger" to explain the philosophy of evil while a genocide happens outside the window. But, then, it is the kind of perspective that a higher being might share. It is one of those alien things they might understand. 

In all, I don't know what I am really saying. Nevertheless, this all does lead into a somewhat positive subjective feeling. We will see if I can translate this to useable wisdom. We will see how it goes.  

All gifts have to be used.

I have just started watching Farscape. What I was not prepared for is that it is actually good. I don't know why it is good. I cannot define why. But I imagine there is some politically correct or algorithmically correct thing that was not done in Farscape. Writers and actors organic tendencies to create a story have come together. I do notice there is pretty much none of the hostility between the characters that you get in most shows. I think there is some sort of formula where there has to be a certain amount of conflict per scene in modern shows.

As I said, I have stopped paying attention to Stefan Molyneux after his opinions that you should not listen to him if you spend time with leftists. 

I have read or listened to (audiobook) a few of his books. One, "The Future". Was unbelievably good. Like, a profound experience. The characters had similarities to people I have known in place. Intense similarities - healing similarities even. There were also a fair amount of differences as well. Acquiantance with a culture I have no experience in. Pretty fascinating. 

One of the features of some of his fiction though, is that sometimes he has a line that says something like "Then this character looked at this character and correctly summarised the programming that lead them to this decision". 

Stefan... Actually does this in his shows. He mind read me in a way I thought was wrong one time and it had an uncomfortable effect of me of partially breaking a kind of idealism I had for him at the time. I am very unusual. Very hard to predict. A lot of people in my life have struggled with that. I wouldn't be writing this blog if I didn't think really different.  

But with a lot of other people. Many, many times in his shows. He is correct. Because people tell him he is correct. They respond in surprise when he guesses their internal workings. Sometimes are gushing in positivity. 

Reading one of his books though, and comparing it to another one that I like. The Expanse series. The way he writes is that the characters, just in general, like I said. Guess correctly other peoples internal workings. In a book series like the Expanse. People do not do this. In fact, they miss almost all of what is said sometimes. Based on their own character.

The Expanse has a psychopathic character who misses a news broadcast that asteroids have hit planet earth and there is mass death. He just isn't interested. Many of the characters miss very obvious things. Many of the characters also catch things but we do not go into their thought process that much. 

I am not able to write stories. I have tried and tried again. I had this idea a while back, based on the Law of One, session 18.5 I believe. That says if you have sexual desires not consonant with the Law of One to play them out in your head. I thought I could write stories with weird sexual things happening. Again and again I tried, and I have tried real stories. It never comes together. It never feels right because I can't see into the characters. 

For me, the energy of looking into others isn't there in my life. I do have a fair amount of insight. I am very good at body language reading and such. That kind of pattern recognition. But there isn't that sense of looking into others. The overall stories based on emotions etc. 

Stefan I think, is a kind of modern day Sherlock Holmes. If you have an ability. You have to use it. Rather than using that in an exciting way such as crime. If someone is really born with the ability to look into others. Then it gets used in service. As Stefan has, in fact, used it. 

For me, it is different things that I have that still need to be used every day. As someone that is very physical has to express a lot of physical energy per day. A lot of women that work in offices and didn't have kids. Still have a need to express emotional energy that comes out in gossip.  

I suppose now I have said it it is not that profound. But I think, that there is a lot to be said for the limitations in NOT having certain things. When we do not have a certain thing. We also don't have the vulnerability of it's downside. For instance, people that don't believe in any of the spiritual stuff on this blog, are not troubled by feeling that negative entities are speaking to them when they meditate. 

It explains to some extent. The positive side of people sometimes having belief systems we don't agree with. A person here doing service of some sort but who is an atheist is free from a lot of spiritual attacks. A person here that has a fixed religious perspective, is free from many of the nuances of the new age and channeled types of materials. 

Meditation insight.

Truth is a difficult thing I believe. It is one of the things I have learned to understand since reading the Law of One. As I referred to in the last few posts. I think people are kind of mission focused. That life is so complex. There is so much of it. That people kind of pick, on some deep level, the area they want to focus on. And truth becomes relevant to that. 

The Law of One says people are one of three elements. Power, Wisdom or Love. This has become deeply relevant to me. It is something I understand in the world. 

I believe we have one of these three elements and the second two follow on. In a very positive environment, we would have them all (because other people give them to us partly!). In a negative environment, we would have just our element, and we would use that to fight with. In our current lightly positive environment, we have our one element, and we can kind of get a handle on the others. But not completely. It is hard work. When you are young you are purely your own element. Ideally, as you have become a 'realised' person, an adult with a career, a message, a family, a worked out life; you have all three. 

If you have Wisdom. You do not have Power or Love.

If you have Power. You do not have Wisdom or Love.

If you have Love. You do not have Wisdom or Power.  

Power takes a small piece of Wisdom and properly uses it. It can increase the good in the world through this. It can directly help. It can apply in a world changing way what it knows. If you have wisdom. You have the overview. You have an integrated bit of everything. But you have nothing that you can do with that overview. Q is very like this. It is powerful, but also, powerless. If you have Love. It is highly likely you will have to prioritise social concerns and not know about either of those. 

So back to where I started with. Truth is different to people. For some people. Power people. Truth is these few things applied, and it does not take in things that ultimately don't help a person. For Wisdom people, The truth is the truth and all of it. the unuseable truth of the isolated eccentric genius. For Love people. The truth is... perhaps; that people all have these mystical and high minded concepts they attach to. But what is real truth? The real truth is that the thing that matters is our every day interactions. The things right infront of us. How to cook. How to support people. Etc. 

So truth to people is what matters for their own path. Someones highest truth, the truth they are here to be, might be something that someone else can disprove. 

This meander on truth, is that I am thinking over how something I have determined not to be true, is kind of useable wisdom.

After listening to Aaron Abke, and hearing all about how Jesus was not teaching salvation by faith, but salvation by works. I am still thinking about how there is a kind of beneficial element to the salvation by faith narrative. 

The salvation by faith narrative is virtue signalling at its worst. If you say these words you can walk around without any virtue and be thought of as a good person. 

But, I have found something that really helps me. That really seems to be that "click" I have been looking for my whole life. That thing that sorts my life into flow. It has come about since I wrote those articles about how David Wilcock is not following the Law of One properly. Or not quoting it properly. And I felt like I was visited by something when I meditated. 

Because of that, the thing that meant I no longer felt that negative presence when I meditated. The thing that has worked, the thing I found. Was meditating with the Law of One book next to me. It is definitely a different feel to meditating without that book next to me and previously, it has been quite conclusive for me to not have it next to me. The reason being, is that the sense of enlightenment and 'love' I get from it. It is not as pure as meditating without it. Not as pure for wisdom. Meditating without the book there I feel like I reach vibrant, raw, heights.

Meditating with the book gives me a real world connection. A real world, good, everyday, loving feeling. Like, the feeling of a social event or something. But, it does slightly dull the 'raw wisdom' element.

So linking this together then. Previously I would meditate with the Law of One book 2 next to me and it overwhelmed me with enlightened feelings. So I stopped. But now that I have a reason to use the book, and a practical (to me) reason that I should always use it. There is now no excuse to stop using it. I have become aware that part of the reason that I am resisting using the Law of One as I meditate. Is that I fundamentally don't feel worthy of it. The loving positive feelings feel wrong. The raw wisdom and colder feeling feels right. It feels more like what I should be. 

It is one of the things I have thought a bit about the salvation by faith narrative. Salvation by faith, the way a lot of people use it. The entire saved humanity by crucifixion narrative. Is a very good pushback against a feeling of unworthiness. And you have to feel at least a little bit worthy to consider yourself worthy of the efforts of the positive spirits and angels and such.   

Random notes on the Law of One.

Been struggling a bit with health so another probably short entry. 

Personal irrelevance. 

I have experienced some psychological stress, and some physiological discomfort (but also some physiological success in health matters!)

My recent physiological stresses are doing two things. Firstly, stunting my spirituality slightly. When I experienced some pain a few days ago, I stopped praying. It sounds like physical discomfort like that would INCREASE seeking and prayer in general. But for me, it tends to make me lose faith. Feel that life is kind of crap and have less tendency towards prayer. 

I reflect a little on Carla keeping faith through all her pains. Perhaps to improve my spiritual path I should be able to continue spiritual practices like prayer and meditation even through these pains. Meditation provides a practical benefit of increasing intuition, just slightly. Just slightly better judgement. And that 5% or whatever it is, often makes all the difference. 

Psychological stress however, makes me increase by many times my zeal towards prayer. Which I did do a great deal yesterday, and now I feel very inspired. Swimming in inspiration. 

The style of the source. 

One thing I have noticed about the positive sources I look at. Is that the act of engaging with them improves the way you see the world. This reverse might also be true of more negative sources. 

Let's compare two things. Reading the Law of One. Or absorbing conspiracy information on say... Child torture. 

To read the Law of One. It is hard to understand. You go over and over it again, and you feel good. Reading once feels good, you might have an insight. But... in the grand scheme of things... Not much of one. You can turn the quotes over in your mind again and again. 

What I am saying is the WAY this happens, improves you. It trains you to read something deep and absorb it properly. You could transfer this to reading classic literature or philosophy. To think things over. It increases the sacredness and joy in life. 

Now consider the opposite. Conspiracy information or perhaps dry bureaucratic info that is not useful. You don't really want to absorb that info. It stimulates your anger and fight or flight. It inspires you to want to find real world tools. To increase violence and such. To condescend to people that refuse to fight with you. It decreases attention span in that you want to pay just enough attention to get the information, but not so much that you actually absorb its sickness. 

The style of the Law of One. 

A correlation I notice with the Law of One and a philosophy like Stefan Molyneux's philosophy. Is that when you start looking at it. You start from its real outer covering. A lot of the earlier books were concerned with the path of the ultimate spiritual person. The ultimate spiritual path. Healing. Famous people. Etc. 

As the books go on though they discuss things like chakras, and archetypes. Once you get into the archetypes. You get into more concrete advice in a sense. It's not advice. But it is advising on the way things are in a close enough way that advice can be drawn from it. 

With Stefans philosophy. You start off with listening to his conclusions. But the more you get into it. The more you get into his ideas from first principles. Which is what you do with every philosopher. 

A similar deepening happens I think with Christianity.

Specifically, I have read and re- read this session:

Questioner: Thank you. I have a question here from Jim that I will read verbatim: “Much of the mystic tradition of seeking on Earth holds that belief that the individual self must be erased or obliterated and the material world ignored for an entity to reach ‘nirvana,’ as it’s called, or enlightenment. What is the proper role of the individual self and its worldly activities in aiding an entity to grow more into the Law of One?”

Ra: I am Ra. The proper role of the entity is in this density to experience all things desired, to then analyze, understand, and accept these experiences, distilling from them the love/light within them. Nothing shall be overcome. That which is not needed falls away.

The orientation develops due to analysis of desire. These desires become more and more distorted towards conscious application of love/light as the entity furnishes itself with distilled experience. We have found it to be inappropriate in the extreme to encourage the overcoming of any desires, except to suggest the imagination rather than the carrying out in the physical plane, as you call it, of those desires not consonant with the Law of One; this preserving the primal distortion of free will.

The reason it is unwise to overcome is that overcoming is an unbalanced action creating difficulties in balancing in the time/space continuum. Overcoming thus creates the further environment for holding onto that which apparently has been overcome.

All things are acceptable in the proper time for each entity, and in experiencing, in understanding, in accepting, in then sharing with other-selves, the appropriate description shall be moving away from distortions of one kind to distortions of another which may be more consonant with the Law of One.

It is, shall we say, a shortcut to simply ignore or overcome any desire. It must instead be understood and accepted. This takes patience and experience which can be analyzed with care, with compassion for self and for other-self.

But while this is relevant, important, in a larger context. It is also confusing and brings more questions than it answers. It is the larger picture in a way that is a little unhelpful in a sense.  

The chakras however. They do seem to offer a framework to understanding things. Archetypes also do. We learn very specific things about how the archetypes operate. How the polarities operate. 

Fear.

I am experiencing fear recently, in the face of my health issues. Deep. Definitely powerless. 

I have come up against the medical establishment. I had thought they were the solution. But they do not appear to be the solution. They are actually helpful in some capacities. But in others I feel somewhat powerless. So metaphysical healing elements remain an interest for me. 

It is part of why I reach for the Law of One. Putting life into context in relation to chakras is one thing the contact advised. There are other things in it that advise on psychological elements. Maintaining polarity against difficult catalyst. 

It is one of those questions for that earlier quote? When it says our mission is to "experience everything that is desired", would that be this? Or is that a negative infringement not included? Is my deeper desire to experience some sort of spiritual path from this?