Prayer. Politics.

I want to make an unusual post.

Firstly, I wanted to really reflect on the change from having turned my prayers around. From "protection" prayers. To the one that I talked about replacing it with. 

It has made a huge change. But even though, in my mind I can map it all out. Mapped out two previous dreams. Ways my mind has changed now I can't map out "negativity" in the same way. Like, I can't hook on to ways of condemning what I see as negative behaviour so easily. And even deep internal changes which seemed to have changed the way I look at sexuality.

It all seems way too nuanced and personal. Suffice to say, I do think it is a legitimate spiritual teaching to move away from verbalising protection prayers, especially when given terms like "evil" within the prayer. But also, perhaps there is a free will problem or some other issue. I won't verbalise that further.  

I used to use protection when I meditated as well. I do not pray for that, but when I am anxious, I do put on a visualised "light shield". This does not conceptualise any kind of evil outwardly thing. Visualised light is wordless. 

What I wanted to mention though is... politics. Something that I think I have largely stayed away from. At least since coming back to this blog. 

In the UK, there is an important by election that is getting a lot of news media attention. From what I have learned. Bearing in mind that I am biased towards Restore and the "real" right wing. Is that Restore. The kind of "Donald Trump" party. Has a huge volunteer base in Makersfield  While the other parties do not. It is all to play for. But out of Restores potential voting pool. Out of the people that voted in droves to hand Rupert an amazing victory in Great Yarmouth. Were people that in general do not vote. These are the same people that are discounted by traditional pollsters. 

It is very interesting. There are three contenders. Labour. That is the mainstream position. The one supported by the BBC. Restore. Who is Nigel Farage's party. Nigel is generally considered to be controlled opposition, and an unpleasant person who is must pretending to be revolutionary, but is probably an intelligence asset. And Restore. 

But Restore is not being talked about in the mainstream media. They are mentioning it here and there. One Times journalist mentioned that they are never prompting the discussion but other people are bringing up Restore. I heard the BBC talk about all this a few minutes ago and they are not mentioning Restore. Only Reform. 

So what could happen. Is that on June 18th, when the by- election is held. It is Restore that gets in. And the leftie luvvies of the mainstream media are not prepared for it. Mainstream people would simply not have heard that much about Restore. 

Which would be pretty cool. I feel like it would be the beginning of a powerful energy change in the UK.  

Improvement from insights. Steven Cambians coverage of DW.

Already, I mean, within moments almost. I seemed to have experienced strong positive effects from the taking prayers of protection out of my normal repertoire. 

I would normally perhaps, take a bit longer to take in the effects. But, I have experienced the same thing before when I have stopped prayers completely. So I feel I have enough information to come to a conclusion.

One of the blockages I have noticed within myself is the "women are cute" kind of thought process. It's a kind of annoying and a bit nauseating internal thought process. Infantilising them. But I cannot seemed to have gotten rid of it previously. It just seems to be "there". 

I believe that Stefan Molyneux's idea on love, that love is "Our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous". But this has not been able to be applied to a few women in my life. In my past. I can recognise that they have basically no virtue that I can identify. But my feelings remain very positive towards them.

Well, since stopping the protection prayers, I, all of a sudden, do feel that sense of "repulsion of the magnet". Towards said women. (Is this understanding turning to acceptance?)

I don't quite know what has happened here. My internal dynamics seem to have massively changed because I am retro actively, taking in some of the female rejections I have had. It feels like. As though the prayer of protection. Was blocking off some legitimate criticism. 

It could also be that "protection" often involves walking on eggshells around some abusive figure, the one that we need protection from, the one that would cause harm. So perhaps the "women are cute", is a way of preventing legitimate criticism of them. Which would then lead to pushback from them. And women in this society are extremely dangerous. (Reputation destruction, social ostracism, false accusations etc.)

It is an extremely positive change I think. I wonder what change this will lead to in the real world after a couple of months of having changed this thought pattern. Potentially this would open the door to other positive processes like entropy. Which can kind of collapse non useful thought patterns.

Out walking today, I remembered a girl that I had seen walking past a church a few months ago, and having not been able to stop thinking about her. Just pure attractiveness. I imagined talking to her and the kind of humourous lines I would use. All of a sudden, this whole thing seems kind of cringey. I have a repulsion of the magnet from the entire thing. All of a sudden it seems that the kind of "immature" kind of frame I would use is ridiculous. (It is one I used with some success with a girl that later rejected me!)

Donald Trump was rude to Rob Reiner.

Based on all the right wing women suddenly turncoating because Trump was "rude" in their estimation. Any right wing movement has to prepare for the moment when women stab them in the back en mass, for something like this.

It is very likely Rob Reiner sexually abused the son that killed him, he made pretty direct jokes about this. I have no patience with these super passive people! Evildoers must be opposed, and the turncoat right wing women, have no authority, and do not deserve the authority. Of speech policing everyone!   

Youtube, Marks Cosmic Adventures: Trumps 3rd Term. David Wilcock's Dildo Stalking! End of the W.H.O. Project Blue Beam imminent? May 1st 2026:

https://youtu.be/vdqF1nsLOcA?si=UiPNpLqlq_doW75_

The discussion is from about 14 minutes:

16 min: This guy, and I understand this guy, and I think it is important, that we question people, when they are making big claims. I do, but there's other ways of doing it, right. I don't think it's cool, to find out where somebody lives, go up to their gate; and then find out where somebody goes walking to plant something, as a joke. That is stalking. And that is outrageous. 

Well, I don't agree. 

Firstly, "there are other ways of doing things". When pushing back against someone like David Wilcock. I would like to know what his ideas are. Especially since he seems the type to platform someone like David Wilcock. He has just platformed someone that says that Satan was killed on March 22nd. 

What would be a good way to oppose him? To start off a little foundation thing like James Randi? This would go nowhere, and to make a platform out of opposing people like David Wilcock. It has to be humorous. 

Let's actually look at David Wilcock and the things that Steven Cambian has investigated him for.

The Pete Peterson Go Fund Me scam. Even the new age knew there was something wrong with this one. The money just disappeared into Davids account for several years and was given to Pete Peterson 3 or so years later when there was too much attention.

The Emory Smith scam: Emory Smith was in hospital for "deep state attack", and David was getting his audience to send money to him. But Emory Smith had a drinking problem and was in hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Platforming Corey Goode and supporting him against Gaia: David Wilcock was responsible for Corey Goodes rise to fame and all the resources he got from that. After which he started a stalking campaign including taking pictures of peoples houses in order to intimidate them. David enabled someone that went on to sue his critics, sometimes causing them a great deal of emotional and financial distress. 

David Wilcock should have been in jail. Steven has mentioned that he has talked to people that were giving their last paycheck to David and could barely afford to eat. He was a constant victim. He made up a lot of things about Steven Cambian including that he was a hacker and a child predator. (This was years later than the Dildo thing)

David, it seems to me. Wanted the world to just shut up in exposing being a con artist. So he could carry on being a con artist. And when he couldn't. When people said "Actually, no you are a fraud, actually no you haven't paid your taxes". Out of protest, he killed himself. 

He definitely deserved dildo's buried on his hiking trail. So that people could become aware that he was not, in fact, a psychic. 

And Marks Cosmic Adventures did precisely nothing to oppose David. In fact, he enabled those that support the general paradigm. So he criticises those that did oppose David. From his little porch.

I recall when I was a lot younger, I had inherited money and I would read David Wilcock a lot. I was a true believer. Steven Cambians coverage "saved me", in essence, from that madness that was making my schizophrenic tendencies far worse. I remember thinking I could invest in Davids film and looking back now reflecting on how vulnerable I was. I didn't do it, since I knew my family would not let me do it. But even so. There are plenty of people out there like that.  

Applying the Law of One (Prayer, Free will).

It's very sunny here in England. English weather is extremely variable. Partly from the humidity. It makes the cold colder and the hot hotter. You are either in a fridge, or a sauna. 

Yesterday, I fell asleep before doing many things that were important for me to do. At 21:00, slept through to 9:00; and I would've slept longer had the neighbours lawn mower not woken me up. 

I forgot my second prayer for the day. Also, I have had prayers of protection for the night time, a third set, but about 1/4th of the time I don't get to those. 

The same thing happens frequently when I have forgotten to pray. My dreams improve. And I have often wondered if the prayers are blocking out some sort of helpful energy. 

This is the reason, as I have discussed before, that I have stopped prayer previously. I do wonder if there is some other thing I should be doing. Some other spiritual practice I should be replacing it with.

But then I stop prayer and, predictably, my life just disintegrates. Problems far more serious than low level of dreaming appear. 

Today, also in conjunction with chatting it over with Grok. (I ask Grok to draw Tarot cards frequently.) I had a realisation that aligns precisely with the part of the Law of One I am reading at the moment. 

Of the prayers I say, I say three that are from the world, already out there somewhere. Then several, five to ten or so of my own made up ones.

The three prayers from the world. One of them is the prayer of Archangel Michael. Another is one I got from a Q post. 

Both of these discuss a battle against evil in some manner. This is very much not in line with the Law of One. That advised reframing experiences generally in a way that does not cause conflict. So a "negative psychic attack", becomes a "negative greeting", as an example. 

It could be that these specific prayers are not good. The ones blocking information that is relevant from coming in. 

It is likely that the spirits, or the part of my mind responding to this prayer. Are not able to fully know if something is good or bad in the large sense of things. Things are a risk. If I meet a hot girl. There is a risk she will jump off into kind of sociopathic behaviours. Cheating, creating drama etc. But there is also a risk of the girl deciding not to behave like that, and/ or me gaining something from those behaviours. Like, say the experience put me in contact with other interesting people. Or creating a good song.

It could be that the block of protection would just block the person out as an 'unknown'? 

Another example is, if people are sending information to you. If they are angry at you and you are receiving it, assuming that paradigm (Psychology would call this a conversation with your internal objects). Then their perspective might be based on nothing, societal brainwashing and lies. But that is still, nonetheless, their perspective. So receiving that energy might be helpful. It might be like 90% lies, and 10% truth?

Applying the wisdom. 

The dream tonight, I concluded from it, that I have framed previous situations in my head as my deliberately breaking contact with other people. But that's not the way it is, and I do not know why I did that. Perhaps it's a locus of control thing. The truth is... They broke contact with ME. This changes the conversation a lot. If I were to see them again in the future. I could say that. Especially if people were to frame it as me breaking contact with them, as it means they don't have to explain anything. It places the burden of the broken relationship squarely on me. This dream is a pretty priceless piece of insight.

I have had dreams before that far more directly gave the guidance that protective prayers were an issue. Years ago. About four years ago now. But I have only just got this! It could have been though that in that specific case. The protective prayers were preventing people from moving against me!

It is difficult holding my identity as "Christian". When I do not believe in salvation by faith. I was thinking it through today. But I do still pray, and do communion. I do believe in a God that is relevant to my life. My identity is closer to Christian than atheist. 

But, looking at the motivation of my spirituality. It is clear to me that it is very much based on Carla Rueckerts teachings. As I was reading in Book V of the Law of One. 

On that note. Even though this does not feel explicitly comfortable. I have replaced the two prayers I mentioned above. Which I am no longer comfortable with. With one that Carla said every day. The Prayer of Saint Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. 

Changing this prayer around this morning has already had a strong effect. I feel, moreso, that I have not prayed. It seems to me that the two prayers I got rid of are the ones that provide much of the strong feeling I get from prayer.  

In the Law of One, the contact also told Carla she had been praying a certain prayer so long that it had manifested in her real life as it got to the roots of the mind. So it will be a while before the effects of the protection prayers fall away and, assuming I stick with this prayer, the effects of this one grow and manifest.

Deep teachings. 

Another gem, actually in line with what I have just discussed. Is this one. I am going to shorten the quote. It is a long quote but I only read the first line and wanted to sit with it:

Questioner: The instrument had some question as to her vitality. We were having a hard time appraising it. Is it possible for you to comment on this?

Ra: I am Ra. We scan this instrument and find that we may be of service without infringement due to this instrument’s decision to abide by the most careful appraisal possible rather than the most desired.

The profundity of this statement to my understanding of free will. Is spectacular. It has become suddenly clear to me that I might have never understood free will at all. 

So if someone asks a question, but the answer they want is not the truth, it is against free will to tell them the truth? 

We are held to less of a standard of free will than an angelic entity. But I always just assumed if people asked a question, then that was the free will permission to give them the answer? This explains a lot of discussions and experiences I have had.  

I do not necessarily think we are held to this standard. Like, Stefan Molyneux says that if your friend is going to marry the wrong girl. You stage an intervention. You tell him why. We are not floating in the ether with a constant awareness of the Creator. We live in the real world where things like who our friends marry is important and will effect us a great deal. Jesus directly corrected people a great deal. 

There is also the real world. Like, if someone says "who won that political race", and the candidate they hate won it. There is also objective reality meaning you have to tell them. Politics is interesting in that way because the law of free will doesn't seem to hold a lot of sway in politics. The losing side loses, and that's it. The economy crashes, and that's it. 

But even so, just for understanding the concept as a theoretical, in it's purest form. This one is big for me. I still can't quite get my head around it. This level of purity of free will would seem to disagree with the concept that correction was ever possible, I suppose in this case it was as it is desired. It probably also links to the Transformation of the Mind, and the hardening to the world of the negative polarity.

 

Finding outer teachers.  

Last point, all that stuff I was talking about yesterday. Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. If this paradigm exists it will definitely exist outside the Law of One (a point I find Christians in general are resistant to. If their ideas are correct they have to exist outside the bible).

I found this video today while on youtube, I think it does very well in squaring with the Law of One ideas. In a sense this guy is doing what I am trying to do, since I am trying to find and discuss tools that improve life. But he has focused on self help types of sources so maybe he has done so in a slightly better way. Whereas my focus is more squarely/ exclusively, on spiritual and metaphysical ideas. 

Youtube: Clark Kegley: Is "letting go" part of acceptance? October 30th 2025:

https://youtu.be/T4Y-BQOIYHU?si=GmHSrdb_yeAm3fxs 

 

Phase 2, Acceptance (Law of One, Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness).

"Sucking all into it". 

Before I begin this. I want to give an example of what I understand to be left wing politics. I have realised, now that I am writing up what I think my process for improvement is at the moment. That a great deal relies on right wing politics. I do wonder whether this "work" can be done if a person is left wing. I am not saying it can't be. But I will summarise what I think the issue is with it. 

Say you have a private school and a public school in the same area. The populace are all texed. This is a small scale example so say it is £10 a year for the public school. There is also, as I said a private school.

30 of the inhabitants send their children to private school, and the other 70 go to public school. 

The private school, as is the ideal and often the practice of the free market. Incentivices good behaviour. If there are lax teachers they are fired. If there are good ones they are promoted and their efforts go to further improving the school. 

The public school works a bit differently. What do we generally know about the public sector? Well, the public sector has received money via the initation of force and redistribution of wealth. So it really does not value meritocracy so highly. The public sector does sometimes, but often it doesn't. It's survival is not dependent on it and there are other things it considers. Such as ideology, the person that is loyal to the ideology and the group beliefs tend to do better.

But once meritocracy gets taken out like this. Also, often, the Unions are powerful in the public sector. Being left wing. This means that every corrupt people that do not produce wealth. But are good at social manipulation and playing nice with the true believers. Or being true believers. Gain positions of power. These people are also corrupt and inefficient. So the school does not do as well as the private school.

When DOGE went into USAID, a lot of public sector workers were found to not be doing anything, and were thus fired. It seems likely to em that any public sector has this effect for this reason. 

The public school and private school function differently. The private school produces results. The public school does sometimes. But other times it has entrenched corruption that leaches resources straight out of the school.

The public school starts to fail. They don't take any accountability. They don't fire the entrenched parasites. They simply don't do anything. To fix this problem they will need... more money of course.

And so taxes are raised. The taxes are now raised to £12 a year. Inflation and any other issue caused by governments is also happening. Such as money needed for war or something. That produces nothing for the populace. So the following year. 27 of the students in the town are in the private school, and 73 are in the public school.  

The next year the same thing happens. Now 24 are in the private school.

The point being is that this kind of system functions exactly like how the Law of One described the negative polarity. In one of the sessions around the displacement 68 - 71. I think 69. The negative is like a gravity well, sucking everything into it. 

Understanding. 

I am going to summarise a lot of my understandings that are political and I believe help me in this overall process. Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Summarising that about the left I think is relevant. 

It has become clear to me. It feels like. Or I have a hypothesis. Of what the process of understanding and acceptance means as a process. I have no idea of what forgiveness means yet, but will think it through at the end nevertheless. 

The general understandings I think I have worked over in my life thus far are. I think I am into acceptance a little now which I will also summarise. This is going to be a short list indeed considering how long the list could be.

A) How my illness and health has effected everything. 

Up until January 2023, I was of the general perspective that I was healthy when I was not. In fact, my health condition was extremely screwing me up. Effecting my behaviour quite a bit. Obviously this understanding was very relevant at looking over my life. (My health is far better now. Not all the way but better since I got new health tools in January 2023)

Not having a lot of successes is explained by this. When previously I didn't have a good explanation. 

B) I am a spiritual person.

The Law of One and Human Design. Also mental health information and dream interpretation. Show that I am naturally a person who focuses very much on this stuff. For a few years I was not doing a lot of this. 

C) Larger political dynamics.

Understanding things like DEI, feminism. Allows me to move about in the world with the knowledge that failure in the area of say... career. Might have other aspects to just my own personal effort. 

D) Philosophical stuff. Such as my understanding that forgiveness without contrition is not legitimate. 

E) Women stuff. 

This single picture explains so much for men:

 

A lot of young women are being passed around by the top guys and a lot of the on the ground guys are not experiencing a lot of romantic success. 

A lot of these things can explain to me why I am not doing better in the world and if I did not have them. I would be forced to introspect based on the idea there was something inherently wrong with me. I would have to investigate based on those ideas. 

Another example which is relevant and important to the acceptance bit. I have also learned that a lot of my friends and such didn't like me. A lot of workplaces, the people there have not liked me and have gone to some effort to socially exclude me. Dream interpretation, astrology, and videos on narcissism and things have all informed this.

I also, understand a little that these people are also very often leftists, and very often disturbed in the head. The left wing ideas don't just mess up larger things. Such as our ideas on violence and free will. But it goes right down to personal identity and everyday choices:

Youtube (short): TaylorisOnline0:How the left has altered the idea of identity. May 23rd 2026.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2VfXRsTLmMM 

Acceptance.  

Now acceptance is a different thing. I don't think it involves the process of mentalising so much in general. Or maybe even at all. 

There is a point I want to come to about forgiveness as well. I have talked a lot on other blogs about my disagreement with the idea of forgiveness without contrition. And I can stand on the shoulders of Stefan Molyneux in that conviction. I have made very good points which people simply ignore if I bring them up. 

There is a lot to accept here. In what I have summarised. 

A) A chronic illness has severely screwed up my life and quietly stolen a lot of really good things. I talked about a friend I had recently. I realised I was quite ill when I knew her and for that reason I was much reduced in my ability to share good perspective and enjoy the friendship. 

B) A lot of things here, have meant I have had a bad social life. One is the illness. Two is the left leaning ways of my former friends (and family sometimes). Three is lack of opportunity, linking but not exclusively from the illness.

C) On top of the lack of good things here, there is the presence of bad things. Such as bullying and social ostracism.  

D) The same thing with relationships. 

It is a lot to deal with. A lot to accept. For instance, I imagine if I was in a better social standing. People that I have known that one of us has broken off contact with, might not have been such an issue. If I had a girlfriend things might go more easily with my half sister. Connections with attractive women would improve many things such as that. Whether I would want said friendships or not, a lot of guys would have more to do with me if I had attractive women in my orbit. 

So one of the things that needs to be accepted here is that people are like that. That they do see me like that. 

A lot of these understandings, like political things, Q etc. Do not have anything to do with my personally. But help prevent my getting lost in unproductive ideas. Also, with the Q thing, faith.  

Acceptance is of the body. 

As I said before. I think acceptance is primarily a body thing. I think when the Law of One contact said Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. They were talking about Wisdom, Love and Power respectively. 

I think there are three things that work with acceptance. A) Applying understanding. Like, if I understand that I am a spiritual person, the more I do spiritual things the more I accept that. Meditation etc. B) The gym and body work in general. By cleaning out all the adrenaline from these sorts of situations, since a lot of this stuff stays in your muscles for years. I think you accept it on a deep level. C) Therapy, like counselling. Obviously some of this is now not functioning so well due to leftism. But in a primary sense, before you add in those problems. I think therapy does help with that. Even though therapy also does the understanding. 

I feel in some way I can't articulate. Like, I can't explain WHY it is, but I feel strongly that it is. That this acceptance is a very effective revenge in some way. To hold the relevance of other peoples behaviours without flinching away from it seems to me more damaging than if we were to go out and actually find the person and screw them over. 

These people are allergic to truth and just holding a truth like that is damaging to them. Even if it is just quietly felt within. Like, how the world tries so hard to tell you you can't have your own emotions, and especially angry emotions. Which is why the forgiveness without contrition ideas exist. It wouldn't be so important to them unless it effected something in the real world. 

But like I said, exercise is the thing. I can't afford therapy but I am member of a gym. The amount of good feel I get from that can barely be described. I feel like I have been robbed sometimes after I go. Yesterday, I had written a youtube comment about how I did not like a lot of TV, including a show I have been watching. After I got home from the gym I just enjoyed it. I saw all kinds of depth in it and really enjoyed it. So I deleted that comment. It just feels good in a way I can't describe.

The Body and Forgiveness.

I wonder if this stage of the process has another function. Can we really forgive someone that is in a lot stronger position of power than us. When we are in a lower and possibly dependent position? I don't know if we can, I think, I suspect, that it is simply a situation that is too similar to a negative heirarchy.

For instance, if a woman cheats on her husband and has him over a barrel in relation to potential divorce court. From that position if she tells him to forgive, can he? I don't think someone can in this position. 

Which is why I think the animal stuff is relevant. As we get healthier bodies and are more able to be in an animalistcally strong position. So our "forgiveness" can hold weight. I wonder if this is another part of the whole "Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness" process?

If things did work out for me, then it would change my power relation to a lot of said people. 

And... Forgiveness.

I do not know what this actually means, I have not experienced it. It would seem to me to be hypocritical for me to talk on something I have not experienced.  

There are a few general notes here though.

One: That perhaps when the Law of One contact talks about a "process", that means that the process is a thing that does not always complete in exactly that way? For instance, if the person does not offer contrition?

Two: As I just summarised. Could the process be stopped at acceptance if I do not get into a powerful enough position in an animalistic sense that such people would condescend to interact with me?

Three: I don't know if the Law of One contact was explaining this as the end of the spiritual process because Carla was very Christian. But if more questioning would have given more answers here? 

Four: Like I said, I would need to experience something to be able to understand and describe it.  

Anyway, those are my general thoughts on the subject.  

The Significator in real life.

 

The Significator as put forward by the Law of One.

This is one of the twenty two arcana which the Law of One focused on towards the end of the sessions. In the Law of One, archetypes are kind of like the structure of the universe. There is one singular arcana called the fool. Then there are seven of the mind, seven for the body, and seven for the spirit. 

The seven of the mind, body and spirit are: Matrix, Potentiator, Catalyst, Experience, Significator, Transformation and the Great Way. 

It is talked about, that at an earlier time in our existence. When humans were god like with the ability to perform miracles with ease. This was because we had complete access to our subconscious minds. That their were only nine archetypes in existence. The Matrix, Potentiator and Significator of the Mind, body and spirit.

So I will put a hypothesis quickly as to why that is. In the Edenic conditions of ultimate power. People had their conscious mind, their subconscious mind, and what the Significator is... Which is our 'answer', our "raison d'etre". Obviously, this being a very deep thing considering the source. Reason for being doesn't quite capture it but it will do. It is not completely personal in a sense. 

After the veil went up between the conscious and subconscious minds. It changed our emotional relationship with 'reality'. Everything become more complex. With multiple pieces that sometimes worked together. There were also new archetypes. The conscous mind, lead to the subconscious mind, lead to the female side of the unconscious mind, then the male side. Then the significator. The transoformation, for the mind, was that once we are on our path. We need to be very careful about how we then relate to our subconscious. Imagine it like a philosopher, musician, a priest. Has to carefully relate to their subconscious mind to continue producing material. 

Real life.

Now I want to bring a bit of real life to the conversation. How I think it works in real life. And likely, how it has related to me in real life:

Youtube: T Red: Misandrists Are Furious Men Won't Date Them: May 20th 2026.

https://youtu.be/_dwS5JZ9JkA?si=o_bjbgriKP9mECa-

This is a very interesting video. I love it when you get women upset, but then you go back to their earlier videos and the behaviour that lead to it. Which is often unethical and obvious. Is clearly talked about. 

But the point I wanted to bring up was the one closest to the end. When women say that they didn't like a guy because he is boring. He did everything right on the date. But he was boring. 

To some extent, it seems a lot of the world is so messed up that nothing is going to sort it out (As the world also includes things like inflation, politics, many different things!). The reason that some men are boring, is because they work all the time. So they have the money that women are looking for. But it is often the unemployed guy that has had the time to develop the humour and personality that girls like. 

But there is also a polarity side to it potentially. To the people who have not done a lot of inner work. And it is talked about in that Significator card. Sometimes the girl likes the drug dealer, and turns down the guy who is normal. Not boring. But just not criminally insane. 

In the card above, you can see that the princely figure has his left arm on a sword that is stabbing a white figure, and his right arm holding a ball. There is a figure in black   

The Significator.

The reason this is, is because it is often negative catalyst that brings out the positive side of us and vica versa. This is the reason I think that people see a "boring" life, such that the Law of One would encourage. As boring. But in fact, it is not seen like that for people very positively polarised. The devout life. With simplistic tasks appreciated. With an emphasis on serving others. Rather than drugs and craziness. Is the more service to others way. 

I don't know this for sure. But I suspect that, the reason this is on the Significator card. Is that once you have your answer. Your reason. Then it allows you to counteract this absolutely crazy and dysfunctional way of being. 

Thinking about Christianity. Which is many peoples "reason for being". It has things such as having appreciation for everything. Which allows you to live in a simpler life. Things such as prayer and meditation. 

The entire structure of Christianity and the family in general. Has the effect of counteracting this tendency. For instance, if a woman has a father and brother nearby, they will not likely be encouraging her to date the drug dealer. 

Free will.

I also wonder slightly whether the significator has something to do with free will. I recall when I got my first job. I was very much outnumbered in that place. I had the medical condition that I have mentioned. And it was not at all clear to me how damaging it was to me. I had friends at the time that in retrospect, didn't like me. And I was deliberately socially ostracised from the social life at that job. It is amazing now I think of it. Day after day I would go there and I was constantly social at that age. Never did I see any of them outside work and this was very deliberate. They were all hanging out together. 

In a way, as I have learned through dream interpretation. When enough people are against you, you kind of subconsciously calculate that you can't oppose them. You can't see things so easily. This is one of the things that starts to undo itself when I have gone to the gym and done weights. It is easier to see that kind of negativity with blood flow, increased strength etc. To clean all that adrenaline out of your muscles. 

Understanding, then acceptance. Understanding the bullying and information control and such. Then acceptance. I am in the acceptance phase now as my body adapts to this. As the adrenaline from such things is cleaned out of my system. 

But the point is, while I was there. I had not obviously had the family upbringing to give me context for this. So I was kind of like... it felt like I had no free will in a sense. Information was kept from me. It was not obvious to me everyone was socialising and I was not aware of it. (I became aware of it 12 years later when Jupiter returned to the same position and I had the same experience again!)

I was only operating in the careful reality I was presented with. Because people were playing mind games in a sense. And I recall the feeling of having no free will. Being walked through school. Reading fiction all the time. Then getting a job. Just kind of going from one thing to the next without having any internal awareness. Any internal push to be able to actually navigate the world.

But then also, the Law of One was there. In my mind, this is what seemed to have given me those things. 

It feels like that is my Significator and when I looked at it I became more aware. More able to navigate the world. 

This may fit in with Stefan Molyneux's definition of Free Will. "Free will is our ability to compare proposed actions to ideal standards". When I found the Law of One. I had more ideal standards. Service to others and such. 

And with a society which is more strongly Christian, and is more strongly philosophical in sane ways. Then the significator and free will would be far more easy to access.  

The tragedy of beauty.

I thought yesterday, after writing that long blog that took a lot of energy. (I went straight to bed after that). That I would not be writing one for a while. 

But technically, since I have stopped going on X. I still have the energy of wanting to express myself but I have reduced my ability to do that. So perhaps I will be posting more. Like I said as well, since I have stopped twitter my "inflow" has been different. Inflow is a huge element in writing something like this. When I was still listening to Stefan Molyneux, I found it easier to write. His show makes it easier to think in a sense as he lights up your brain. Now I have stopped X and am listening to more youtube videos. So I have shifted a little more to more personal subjects.

I wanted to talk about this video:

Youtube: Gracie Draskovich: pretty women live in a completely different reality: May 22nd 2026

https://youtu.be/wMFNj5mufyI?si=dqXa3DrIn_u2c1HP

I really think this girl "gets it". She has a lot of videos on her channel about being selfish and such, one of them entitled "start being mean". I think women like this do have to do a lot to protect themselves and have to emotionally justify that.  

Screwed upness of life. 

I wanted to know if my half sister was put under any of these pressures. I wanted to know if she was hot or not so I said to her in an email, since I cannot perceive that myself, being her brother (yes, that is a little extreme, but it was the truth at the time. I could not look at her and know how attractive she was, and I have schizophrenic tendencies, I am a little weird) Can you tell me roughly how attractive you are?

She wrote back saying that she felt I had crossed a boundary by asking that question, and that was the end of the relationship I was trying to grow with her. This was the last of a very long line of disrespect from her. 

I think I have a better idea now because I had a dream with her in (not sexual of course), where that subconscious block was potentially cleared.  

Anyway, on the video. I just wanted to talk about this because it has had an impact on my life. I am not a beautiful woman. When I was younger though. I was attractive in a way that lead to strange behaviours from women. Including several years of a kind of stalking. (More like harassment, the girl didn't want me but wanted to harass me into chasing her. Disturbed woman!) At the time it put me under so much stress I stopped putting effort into my appearance. I stopped gelling my hair and such and I never got back into it.

I do want a little of that energy back now though. (And the hair too!)

"Look on down from the bridge".

But I had a close friend, I might have mentioned a few times here. Who had been very attractive when she was younger. She had kind of aged out to the extent that is relevant for children. But I noticed that other women would get stressed around her because I am big on reading body language. I used to like that. She looked almost exactly like Victoria Pfeiffer. 

She was one of the most lost people I have ever met in my life. Some of the stories she told me were morally disgusting. It had appeared she had kind of floated through life as this kind of ghost and people had treated her badly on her journey. 

She told me how she had gone around the house of a couple she had known and while his girlfriend was in the other room. The guy in the couple had made a pass at her. She had also had other men behave strangely. Throwing away absolutely everything, badly threatening her friendships, in order to get some of her "company". 

She had also had the normal things with women that had undermined her. One of which had thought she had made a pass at her boyfriend and turned an entire workplace against her. Without ever confronting her on it. 

The woman was like a confused, ghostly, wraith. The vulnerability was intense even from the perspective of a female baseline. You could see her across the room and think "That is an extremely vulnerable person". I feel I should also mention in fairness she did crappy things to others at various times. But she seemed unable to understand the situation she was living in, and unable to gain any clarity on her world. 

The suffering was intense in a way I can't even describe. A big part of it I think is that men simply would not be direct and honest with her. A person cannot live in a hall of lies for that long without coming to strange conclusions about life. 

My friendship with her ended a couple of months before she killed herself. 

I am still processing that. I want a clear direction of how this 'catalyst' is meant to improve my life in the longer term like the Law of One teaches. I also feel blocked in life in general. I am having insights and attempting to use them. 

I did a tarot reading on myself recently that stressed the need for personal care and healing. I had thought the tarot was telling me that tarot is not a useful modality for me personally, because it seemed kind of like irrelevant information. But I don't know. Now that I have directly looked into this wound I can kind of see how it might be relevant. 

There is more I have to say. I think it might be relevant and profound. But I don't feel able to say it.

Serenity in any coming chaos.

This is going to be a long article. It started off as two, but I realise the concepts link to each other. I hope to express something quite profound. A deep, relevant understanding. I am going for quality over quantity in this one. I hope to write a long article today and perhaps not write another one for a short while. One good article rather than a lot of general thoughts. 

First a song, I am going to plug a few lyrics into this song in a little bit:

Youtube: Jenny Jih: Stars - Calendar Girl (w/ lyrics). Feb 5th 2013

https://youtu.be/-R8fcMTGLtM?si=emT0YV_QzaPCZEsp

But this is actually the video that starts the conversation. That song is literally just a song:

Youtube: Kaylen Marissa: Humanity is going Extinct. May 3rd 2026 

https://youtu.be/-ZsrPwuJZwE?si=3MD1Rf-DRkc4dDJn

Coming away from twitter, that I have mentioned in one of the recent blogs. There is a sudden gap in my routine. When I eat I don't log onto twitter. When I watch TV I don't have it open in another tab (I have two screens).

A lot of people are just posting their thoughts on youtube like this. In a very casual style. It is kind of nice. A lot of videos like this one of people just talking on their perspectives. 

One of the things that is relevant here I think, is that, this girls status is so much higher than mine. It boggles the mind in a sense. Society has taken the natural beauty and sweetness of a young girl and added a whole lot more to them. Via DEI and a general cultural conviction to never hold women accountable. Also, the trashing of mens status in general, and a decline in the economy meaning men cannot prove themselves. 

This is relevant to 'the great work' I think. This is my astrology chart:

Normally I get rid of any information that would show my age. But I can't really do that with an astrology chart. Even a low level skilled astrologer could get my birthdate down to about an hour if they wanted from this.

The point here, is that my goal is generally to unblock my musical ability. Along with various things such as being loyal to the Law of One and working on health issues. Mental health is another issue. 

I think my chart is interesting, but I will not talk about it. Not enough time here. The relevant aspect here I want to talk about is the Venus inconjunct Neptune. 

An inconjunct is an interesting aspect. Its shadow side has been very relevant to "psychosis" that I have previously experienced. That psychosis was an unbelievably strong sense that a certain woman. It was two at different times. Was a soul mate and every thing that happened that pushed it away from happening. It arrived with unbelievably strong feelings. 

Venus Neptune connections are to do with the idealisation of beauty and/ or femininity. With an inconjunct though. Whatever energy the two planets are expressing needs to be expressed indirectly. Not directly. 

What does that mean? It means that a healthy way to use that energy. Is to express it through music. But not to believe it or really feel it on a deeper level. 

Since this energy remains in my system if it is not used properly. I have the choice of using it like this. Or using it in another way, of idealisation or demonisation. I am perhaps one of those classic schizophrenics that I have heard Jordan Peterson talk about, who has to create or they go mad. 

My experiences with women. When I index the library of such experiences. Outside of family. Is uniformly not really that good. Nothing to build on. But trying to get that sense of positivity back can be partially done through these kinds of things. To lead back to music. 

The deeper pattern. 

A bit of a song I made to the pattern above. To the song structure of the first video. I do make my own songs. Which I feel to be profound when I get back to them. Something I truly value. But I sometimes plug my own lyrics into another song structure.

I will list two verses and the meaning behind them. One was that I had absorbed, without meaning to. A lot of David Wilcocks explanation of what the higher forces are about and the right way to be. 

David used to talk about the Dream voice. He used to say that when you go to sleep. You can capture what stray thoughts are at that time as a kind of prequel to channeling. 

I realised though, that I should really be using that for something I care about. I used to note down stray thoughts along those same lines. As "guidance". But I've realised I am not trying to channel. I have enough guidance and my perspective is more about appreciating the simple things in many ways. I don't need some amazing voice in the sky. But I do care about music. So I should be only noting the musical ideas that come out of the "Dream voice". I should be training myself to notice that.

Which lead to this set of lyrics about David (Again I will mention, to the structure of the song at the beginning):

I listen to your words. I took it all on. 

I heard it until I forgot my own song.

That was because your words, lost the meaning they had,

and it left you so endlessly sad. 

A few verses later, this is the one I had about the second video:

She's looking for colour, it's turning to grey,

It is the warmth that has flown away.

To be a mother, to hold a small hand in her hand,

But the game, she does not, understand

Meanings.

I wanted to talk a little on the meaning of the second verse I have written here. The first three lines are obvious. But the last line. It sounds like it could be condescending. I want to describe what I mean.  

Women live in a different world to guys. Having inherent status is a whole other game. If you see a guy talking about something on youtube. It is usually deeply analysed. A lot has gone into it. 

This is not less so the case with women. The same amount of energy and thought might have gone into something. But not analysis. It is scientifically proven that in every single country. Men follow politics more closely than women. 

"The Game" that I am talking about. Is all the manipulation in the mainstream society. How for women, as Pearl Davis talks about. Even going in a truth direction, can start to move against you.

This girl will probably be fine because she is very attractive. Like, very. Probably close to the top. 

I have a block. I am way more reticient to explain my perspective here than I was when I drafted this in my mind. So on to the next thing. 

Relief. 

When I saw this guy. I felt an incredible sense of relief. Someone was talking in the basic paradigm that I understand to be true. He talks about meeting other people that are like that. I have felt England to be as a whole, so brainwashed at times:

Youtube: Marks Cosmic Adventures: It's Getting Weirder Isn't It? Monitor Demons Everywhere... May 15th 2026:

https://youtu.be/iYdlqFfJ1zw?si=57360TQtF6qjo42M

The reason I am bringing this guy up. Is not at all to actually talk about anything specific he is saying in this video. But I just want it acknowledged that this paradigm exists. One where spirituality, politics, and ideas such as new age metaphysical theories and extra terrestrials, are all linked. 

It comes down to what I think might be the point of my life at the moment, in the technical, not larger sense. 

At the moment I am reading the Law of One and I have learned several things in just a few weeks. 

One, by stopping prayer briefly I learned that prayer is indeed very important.

Two, I tried Keto and realised it is definitely not compatible with my health. 

Three, I decided to stop drinking any alcohol. I never drunk much. 

Four, Another issue with medication and health in general. 

While going through the Law of One book V it has prompted each of these. A) The book talked about Carla getting offered LSD while I was being offered alcohol B) The points on negative greeting that I talked about in recent blogs. C) A point on exercise the relates to point 4. 

The point.

What I want to talk about though. Is assuming this Q type of paradigm is correct. Things are going to work out in a certain way of the population becoming more and more aware of a very unusual paradigm they are living with. Of technology, and extra terrestrials etc. 

In my view, what has happened since about 2020, is that a lot of the really negative things have been taken out of the background of society. Since then, in a lot of very subtle ways. A lot of people are being given the opportunity to relax and strengthen before the coming tasks. A lot of people are not working due to a broken economy. A lot more thinking is being allowed to happen. 

I have this theory that the black magick was reducing the positive spirits abilities to guide us on a personal level. 

The point being is at this moment. To repeat myself. People are relaxing and learning their lessons. In preparation for the coming change.

For me, I think I know what that looks like. As I have grown closer to the Law of One. As I have started to get it recently. With prayer, meditation, reading the Law of One book and such. Is that I have legitimately started to come off of "transcient" subject as the Law of One advises. To really emotionally understand that. To feel it. 

When whatever is revealed is revealed. With all it's horrifying weirdness. All the sense of betrayal humanity feels. Hopefully. I will have the personal strength to be able to tune out of it. I can be an island of serenity as people, that have never been introduced to this previously, can process all of this stuff.

Conclusion.

At the end of all that I'm not sure it was that much of an interesting point. But it's what I had to say for the moment.