The invisible laws.

Not much to say, recovering from surgery. It was technically just a procedure. But it was quite a bit worse than I was expecting. It was not made clear to me what this was going to be like. 

I have gone back on all my things of self discipline. Caffeine free pepsi max. Alcohol (Stayed awake 34 hours last night, I needed it! But I think alcohol is less damaging when I am not having it for communion. The weekly top up of poison was never good I don't think.) 

But it is over. I was afraid of that procedure subtly. Subconsciously. For a long time. It is amazing how our subconscious has this subtle grip over us. 

The last thing I was thinking about from the Law of One was this:

Questioner: The instrument has determined that the unwise use of her will is its use without the joy and faith components and constitutes martyrdom. Would Ra comment on that, please?

Ra: I am Ra. We are pleased that the entity has pondered that which has been given. We would comment as follows. It is salubrious for the instrument to have knowledge which is less distorted towards martyrdom and which is rich in promise. The entity which is strong to think shall either be strong to act or that which it has shall be removed. Thus manifestation of knowledge is an area to be examined by the instrument.

We would further note that balancing which, in this entity’s case, is best accomplished in analysis and manifestation seated with the contemplation of silence, may be strengthened by manifested silence and lack of routine activity. We may go no further than this recommendation of regularized leisure, and desire that the entity discover the fundamental truths of these distortions as it will.

A kind of use it or lose it proposition. A kind of frightening proposition. I often am taken down by health issues and I forget things I want to do. Like music practice or meditation. I wonder if my social skills meaningfully atrophy in relative isolation. I am sure a lot of people have similar fears in this busy life. 

Two thoughts I have had from this. One which is generally social. One which is personal. 

This is not the first time that the Law of One information has highlighted some subtle spiritual law and I have wondered how this effects people in the day to day. I imagine there is a great many of these. This one is more obvious and grounded. If we do not use something obviously it will atrophy. But there are others that are more subtle, and apparently, very powerful. 

For instance, if you imagine how divorced guys, sometimes don't seem to take much of a breath. Don't fall out with the whole 'marriage' thing, and are married again within a few years. I wonder, if there is a law like this that needs to be satisfied? Like, with that example. Maybe the guy has a lot of love to express and cannot do that if he is prevented from doing so with his ex wife. Perhaps there are other supports that are not available. 

Then rather than what a person commenting might assume he should do. Like, analyse his past or something to come to better decisions. Actually, the energy itself is compelling just jumping into the next thing. Like, imagine this person was fourth density, as an example?

I wonder sometimes a lot of things like this. There were various times when a thing became compulsive due to universal laws. Like the fifth density negative entity eventually flipping positive. Because Entropy was compelling it. 

Reading enough of the Law of One, and backing that up with the Human Design. I have often come to the conclusion that we have very, very little ability to change the world from... exactly what it is. 

I wonder how many past events this relates to? Like, does it relate to previous relationships and things. Was one of my parents compelled into something by some invisible law that still can't be understood or identified? Not even events. Emotions. Other things?

And personally. 

I write this as I am, like I said, recovering from surgery. I do feel like I am in a bit of a mess. No prayer, no meditation etc. My routine is off. So I might not be able to apply this. 

But for me personally. I realise my most valued skill is my creation of music.  

I realise that half an hour playing music, with no TV on or anything. Has a really strong, positive, effect. I often used to play scales and other things with the TV on. Complex guitar skills. But playing in silence is my connection to the higher forces I did not know I had access to. 

The male path.

This is my thoughts on 'the male process'. It could be both male and female. But I can't speak with any knowledge on female mechanics. 

Since stopping Communion. I have felt my energy as a lower energy than it used to be. The idea of Communion to me very much linked me to this kind of imaginary, heart chakra kind of thinking. This mysterious idea that I am being guided along in line with this, directed from some higher plane.

When I was doing Communion. I felt like I couldn't fully access my 'anger'. But I felt it important to access said anger. It was, in a way, my goal. Not one consciously decided. But a goal none the less. My idea at the time was that if I did exercise. It would reveal deeper layers where the anger sat. Like, things would clear then I would access other thoughts, feeling and with that, anger. 

But since stopping Communion. I have felt more in touch with that anger. 

The Law of One talks about how men have physical energy:

Questioner: Would you do that?

Ra: I am Ra. You are correct in assuming that the energy of which we speak in discussing sexual energy transfers is a form of vibratory bridge between space/time and time/space. Although this distinction is not apart from that which follows, that which follows may shed light upon that basic statement.

Due to the veiling process the energy transferred from male to female is different than that transferred from female to male. Due to the polarity difference of the mind/body/spirit complexes of male and female the male stores physical energy, the female mental and mental/emotional energy. When third-density sexual energy transfer is completed the male will have offered the discharge of physical energy. The female is, thereby, refreshed, having far less physical vitality. At the same time, if you will use this term, the female discharges the efflux of its stored mental and mental/emotional energy, thereby offering inspiration, healing, and blessing to the male which by nature is less vital in this area.

At this time may we ask for one more full query.

So here, men have more physical energy. Women have more mental/ emotional energy.

How does that manifest? Stefan Molyneux, talks about how men have a different perspective because they perform a different function in the tribe. For men, if they go out and do any work in the physical. Like logging or something. The real world becomes very relevant. There is no political tract you can use to convince the log to move. You have to load it onto a truck. This is why men tend to see things objectively and not think that situations are modifiable by talking through it. 

There is a lot more that goes into this. Men do not have the status that women naturally gain from their beauty and "cuteness". But I won't go into that. 

The point is that since stopping the Communion. I am a lot more aware of my physical energy and a lot more able to get on with things like going to the gym. I went yesterday. I am making gains where I wasn't before (there are other changes in my life). And I only want to get back to the gym. I went yesterday. Gymmed hard. And I feel like I want to go again now. Even though, physically I would not be able to. I have that physical tension that relates to wanting to do exercise. 

What I think of as my process is that I have a bunch of grudges. A bunch of things that have annoyed me about the past and the present. To exercise it feels like I am completely cleaning them from my system. It is as though I am using the pure energy from the anger to strengthen my body. The increase in the strengthening of the body is, like I have talked about previously. The 'acceptance' in the Law of One discussion about understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. Forgiveness being one I have not explored yet. 

My grudges:

All of this was thought through yesterday. Because none of it is still relevant to me today, emotionally (Because I feel great from the gym). But as I sit there, I often think through my grudges. And those grudges seem to feed into creating this angst and thus, physical energy. 

But these grudges are not insignificant. Due to a physical medical condition. I kind of had some strange thoughts and feeling when I was young. But some of the difficulty I had with others was simply because I am not left wing in this heavily left wing town. 

Nevertheless, my entire twenties and a bit later was spent going around from one place to another being uniquely socially ostracised from each place. My first workplace, was amongst peers and such when I was in my late teens through early twenties. All of them, I mean, all of them would socialise together and I was kept out of it. It took me more than a decade to realise this had happened. 

This has happened with some friends which, when I later, a decade later, met up with them realised I got on with very well. I did have some time in University. Then I had an office job where the same thing exactly happened for two years. I was uniquely socially ostracised. Everyone came into the office and socialised with the people there, and I was the one who was not. With whom a lot of the women specifically would make this clear by talking to me normally then not even saying hello. 

To get away from these kinds of people. I spent a lot of time in fast food with people that were foreign. There was one other office job which I will not go into. But the staff, mostly 20 year old girls, were nice. I was quite ill. 

I did have a brief friendship with a woman who then killed herself.  

These potential opportunities are things for which I have a dislike for all the people involved. I would not say 'hate'. Because the Law of One and it's vibe, and my spirtuality and such. But I feel entitled to acknowledge that these peoples behaviours was in fact what it was.

I am now more well, I was very ill through some of this. But I have lacked the earlier years of establishing myself. Now I am a lot older. Socialising with 20 year old girls would give me "creepy uncle" energy. There is no way to get back what could have potentially been... But been with who? All these people hated me.

I do not know the solution to any of this. I am also not saying that I am uniquely in a bad place. I know that other people also are. It is unlikely to be that I gain any kind of status that would make any of these people regret their behaviour. In an ideal world I suppose, or not ideal that is for God to decide. But as a potentially interesting thought. I would gain in some sort of manner and these people would suffer the pain of envy. 

This whole discussion reminds me of this line:

Questioner: Now, is there— the two areas then that the instrument can look to for curing this problem… I understand that the yellow-ray blockage problem has completely repaired, shall I say. If this is not correct, could you make suggestions on that, please?

Ra: I am Ra. Each entity must, in order to completely unblock yellow ray, love all which are in relationship to it, with hope only of the other-selves’ joy, peace, and comfort.

It will be a long time before I wish those people any particular happiness. But I suppose those people are technically not "in relationship to me".

There might be a way to root around it emotionally. To find the relevant or interesting rules that can then be used to my advantage. For instance, I figure these people have, at all times, exercised their freedom of association. And if I were to get in a good place. I could then fully exercise mine, as they have done. 

But it is good fuel. The idea that I apply my physical energy into life. That I am who I am without the imposition of other, inappropriately "loving" ideas.  

Q Stuff.

The Communion insight has given me such a change in my way of being. That I will not talk about spiritual subjects in this blog. I did crave to do the Communion yesterday. But there are many things. Including my own arguments. Even arguments that I have not put on this blog. That go against it. 

At the moment. I am in a lack of clarity. I have a theory, based on my own theories, and some thoughts on 'entropy'. That the gym will sort this out. I will go again tonight. My understanding of the Law of One's entropy is that sometimes, what was one emotion can burst into several conflicting emotions. I feel that exercise can bring these back into harmony and coherence again. 

So for this reason I will make this a political/ Q type of post. 

The political social media:

Going on X is just politics after politics. The theme of "two tier policing" comes up again and again in the UK. Currently doing the rounds is a video where black kids start punching a white kid. A police woman steps in and hits the white kid and he punches her back before seeing she is a police officer. The female police officer then arrests the boy and talks down to him. Insulting him and such. The police force involved is now charging the teenager and saying the woman did no wrong, and telling the public not to share the footage. 

When I first got into all this stuff. Back in the Mid 2010's. I remember reading how, with the grooming gangs. Two your girls had been kidnapped and used sexually by Pakistani gangs. The fathers of these girls turned up and took the girls home. The police turned up and took the girls back to the Pakistani gangs. 

It makes me think of what we are being "shown" at this point. The American establishment. The White House. Has been Q posting for 11 days straight now. Pictures from the drops. Mentioning Q. Etc. 

What it seems to be at the moment is that the liberal establishment is just running away uncontrolled on an insane power grab. The whole thing has become very obvious. But not, to most of the UK population. That are left wing and just don't go on X. They simply avoid most of this information. 

In America, not that long ago. The Biden regime was doing a similar thing. Just openly doing things like suing States for closing their borders while machete wielding gang members flooded across it. Open crime on the streets in left wing states. I was losing faith in Q by the time the election came along. I assumed it would be rigged in favour of the Democrats. Then, at what felt like the 11th hour, when all hope was lost. Where the Democrats would have declared an open war on Russia and dragged the planet into World War 3. Trump won. Not only did he win. But the Q comms had given the exact result. And a coded, but extremely specific, reference to the day it would be relevant. (This is on my other laptop. I have posted it before) 

The Good Paradigm. 

This is the paradigm that Q people believe in. Yes, the liberals are being given a certain amount of rope to run around causing chaos. But there is some sort of plan that is being managed by the positive forces behind this all.

What the point of this might be, is that the police are completely captured. Episodes like this show that the police cannot be used to sort Britain out and it explains why more severe measures, like military intervention or some other thing. Might be needed in the future?

Martin Geddes talks about this. He tried to go the legal route against Council Tax and revealed, to his telling. That it is all illegal. That there is no official court process where Council Tax is concerned. The Council creates documents that do not go through the actual judiciary. And they rent the court rooms for this purpose. 

But Martin, when he challenged the Council from this perspective. He did not get anywhere. If you think about it. The power the state has is simply the co operation of the citizens making up the police and such. In this situation. Martin said that the police co operated with this process, even though it was not legal. And that he got nowhere. 

His take away, as he is a Q person, is that he was being shown that we cannot do it ourselves. The system is too stacked against us. That we had to know we can't do it ourselves to be able to accept whatever change must eventually come. 

Takeaway.

It is all a bit mad. All a bit "Full David Wilcock". 

Youtube: Movie Clip: Tropic Thunder (5/10) Movie Clip - Never Go Full Retard: October 11th 2011:

https://youtu.be/X6WHBO_Qc-Q?si=sinsvSQq9kNxbBpZ

I wrote a blog previously on this subject and brought in a bit of the astrology on it. I was thinking over the human design change we are apparently going to go through in February of 2027 that is said to have something to do with our 'need for resources'. That it will effectively switch that part off in our energy fields. 

I do believe it is possible to sort all of this stuff out with one step only. That would be, the fixing of the money system. The system we have is only possible if you print money out of nothing. If you can print money out of nothing, you can give it to systems which don't have a return. (The left in general)

During only a small window where the US had a gold standard. Almost all of the technology we have today was begun. Even though this was the late 1800's. Even the internet, the bare bones of it was laid during this time. I think this is because when you have money that is truly worth something. It immediately enforces a meritocracy. Once you have a meritocracy. You tend to get people with sanity amassing resources. Once that happens. These people influence the society in sane ways. 

It's a nice though. But much like my experiences with Communion at the moment. Without real depth and research, and real belief. That I don't really have. It doesn't feel all that powerful and coherent. But I think it is something worth considering.  

Fleshing out Communion (Part 2)

Just a quick update here. 

I am thinking through a little bit the change in my life now I have stopped Communion. 

In Star Trek Deep Space Nine. The main protagonist. Benjamin Sisko. Is attached to a set of very positive entities. The 'Gods' of Bajour. Because it is fictional. The show managed to put forward a legitimate seeming spirituality, without it being too close to Christianity. Which is like garlic to a vampire for these Hollywood writers. So spiritual themes were explored without a lot of the trouble associated with it. 

Due to things happening in the shows. Between Gods and Demons. Benjamin is forcibly detached from said "Prophets". There is a war going on in the show when this happens. And as a result of this. The 'luck' of the good guys stops. A few episodes later, during a lot of very difficult things. The Prophets are reconnected. And all the luck of the good guys. Things halfway through. Switches on. 

It was a beautiful thing that felt real in a way. But I remind myself as I am talking about this. That real life is not like that. What I am coming to, is that if a thing, an energy, appears to shift. There are a lot of potential reasons for said shift. When we go out in the world. Even an uptick in enthusiasm can simply change the world around you in ways we can't suspect. Any health change reflects on other health changes. Any reduction in stress reduces others stress. 

So it is something to bear in mind as I think of the potential effects since I have stopped Communion. 

But where my mind is going. Is that when I started doing Communion. From Easter of May 2022. I had a very specific problem at the time which Communion, strong dreams, strong emotions appearing to "save" me. Seemed to help me out of a jam at the time. 

The jam was that I had slowly gotten very attached to a female friend. Then she had gone kind of nuts. We all know stories are far more complicated than that. But that suffices as a short summary. 

That exact same jam, has come up a few times in my life. It was very much related to how I used to have a fairly strong schizophrenic tendencies. This feeling of ridiculous fusion. Then the woman behaving in a strange way and I can't disconnect the "fusion". 

This was an insight that was veiled to me while I was doing the Communion. But the moment I came off it. I suddenly had thoughts and insights from that time. 

The problem, previously, was partly due to the 'schizophrenic fusion', so it might not even need any introspection to uncover and influence. But it is a big thing. A big kind of insight that I need to mull over.  

Fleshing out Communion.

The Bible and Communion. 

This is the video that mentioned the Communion. It is only discussed for about a minute at the exact hour mark.

Youtube: Ex- Hebrew Israelite Exposes the Bible's Dangerous Ideology (Malaki Macabee). Jesus Way Podcast 058: June 18th 2026:

https://youtu.be/TuaJ2a7RQaA?si=aQcaQMWtHyQ_A5mZ

I often feel very good watching Aaron Abke. This is so dense I feel like I have barely absorbed it on one sitting. Like a lot of his videos. I have to rewatch and take notes. I feel like my connection to the Christian 'faith' is tenuous at best. That I enjoy these kinds of videos. And other creators that go into biblical truths. Does suggest some connection to this material. This feeling is moreso than a lot of videos I watch.

"In the black churches y'all is big. I plead the blood of Jesus, I plead the blood of Jesus. Every Sunday. The blood, the blood. And... forget about the Communion with the wine, with the crackers and all that. And the 'this is my blood, this is my body'. All that is Pauline."

...

"Pauls letters predate the gospels. So whatever you see that agrees with Paul in the Gospels came after Paul was already writing. That means the gospel writers are influenced by Paul, not the other way around."

Corinthians 1:17 - 32:

For I received from the Lord what I also delivered to you, that the Lord Jesus on the night when he was betrayed took bread, and when he had given thanks, he broke it, and said, “This is my body, which is for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” In the same way also he took the cup, after supper, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood. Do this, as often as you drink it, in remembrance of me.” For as often as you eat this bread and drink the cup, you proclaim the Lord's death until he comes.

Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world. 

Wow, when you actually read it. It is not just some casually worded phrasing. This wording. If it was written by Paul before the gospels. Pretty much insists that to remain consistent and to not call Paul out as a liar. It would have to be written into the Gospels that Paul said this. 

But one thing about Paul is that aside from this. Everything he says about Jesus and his teachings is the polar opposite to what they actually are. So if it were true that Jesus said that. And I don't think it is. It would be the singular area they agree. 

I can't imagine what the particular pressures were during the day. But, one of the things that was inconvenient to the Romans. Was when you had all these early Christians. "The Cristos". Nazarenes, or Essenes. Were all vegans, and a huge part of their economy was the sale of meat. I wonder if there was a similar feeling about alcohol? I can't imagine that, outside Communion sorts of instructions. That Jesus' followers were big on wine.

Communion and me personally.

I have been thinking a lot, feeling a lot. About the change of not doing Communion. I did not do it with a church. I tended to do it on my own. At first it was just me and a glass of wine and gluten free bread. It was the only thing keeping me drinking alcohol for a long time because I got a stomach ache from non alcohol varieties. And I felt like 'Jesus said wine'. 

I have been thinking about what it does. What it has meant to me. The Law of One talked about it being positive metaphysical protection for Carla. As I have mentioned. But they also framed pretty much everything, almost everything. Very specifically about how it relates to the person themselves. How something effects a certain persons beliefs. 

So it's effect on me was many fold. It centered me in a kind of 'what I thought spirituality was'. A kind of heart chakra centered approach. It took away ever so slightly to how I experience the world without that in the way. 

One; I was not quite as able to access my anger to the extent I am now. And this mattered with motivation for going to the gym. And clarity in these matters. Which strongly feeds back into my overall health. Two; I am slightly better, on the ball with wisdom things in general. Dream interpretation is clicking a bit more. And music is 'in tune'. And more passionate. I was not able to quite get the music feel. That I can get now. 

There is more I have to say. But I might not ever say it. But things have shifted a lot. It is a very interesting and powerful thing to step away from this.  

Progress on a spiritual path.

I had one of my best days today. Went to the gym. Just felt amazing. Drinking a lot of water seems to be a key for my health and my specific health condition is one where dehydration is a symptom. So just listening to my body has good results. (Rather than fizzy water, i.e. "almost" listening to my body. Did not have any particularly good results).

I do not have any real insights at the moment. Because I am still working through what might have been an insight I have just had. The point I made in a recent post. That Communion might not be positive magick. But that blood magick in general is something that the negative uses. 

Stopping Communion. I did not do it on Sunday so next Sunday will be the moment I have definitely stopped it. I do feel like I am detecting an improvement. That the dreams I have been stuck on for months now. One month of dreams. Seems to have shifted.

There are a lot of ideas I have about what might be changing. But it is early days. A day or two. Needs a lot longer to say... Yes, this seemingly minor emotional change can lead to this. Or no, I was overthinking it. 

Spirituality and limitation.

This is my video for today:

Youtube: RootsofLife: Why They Call Reiki, Yoga and Meditation, "Evil". June 20th 2026:

https://youtu.be/o96W2QKl9UI?si=07A9vxf-575a4BKn

There are a lot of people that call these things 'evil'. I just watched a video (not this video) by a guy who was talking about demons tempting him. Like, this seemed to be both in real life and in the dream world and imagination. He was a guy who has gained a following because he talks a lot about not masturbating. He was trying to make himself out to be this kind of enlightened spiritual guy and he said that he could "feel" how the planetary glyphs and such in astrology are evil.

So... my dude, you are basically saying that a thing is a certain way because you "feel" like it is a certain way. Wonder if he was on his period? Needless to say I unsubscribed.

When I first got into the Law of One. I used to feel very comforted that there are all these people out in the world with what I considered the 'correct' beliefs. Understanding of guides, spirits, and metaphysical issues. Or mainstream Christianity. Where a deep fidelity to the "One Infinite Creator" is highly prized. 

An actual analysis, both online and in the real world, reveals a lot of disappointment. A lot of people are only paying very vague loyalty to abstract concepts. While in practice, it seems to me. Just doing what is emotionally convenient for them to do. 

An example is... Firstly... Christianity. 

OK, so all these Christians believe Astrology is evil... "Just because". Did the Devil create the planets? I have never heard of anything like that so probably not. So God created the planets? And they have recognised that astrology does work. It does work according to the Christians. So God created something that's function is precisely to do evil and nothing else? That foretells human personality and events, but is only evil? Makes no sense at all. Why would God do that? 

These are not atheists. The Stefan Molyneux's of the world just say that astrology doesn't exist. I find this to be a more respectable, or at least consistent, position. Even when I have met it personally. Than that it exists but that it is "evil" because I say so. Holding out for more objective proof is a position that makes some kind of sense. 

Christians believe though, that astrology is evil, I think because of some obscure part of the old testament. It is something like 'Do not associate with those that practice magic'. Mainstream Christianity, is, as a whole, an appeal to authority fallacy. At least in the mainstream. The idea that the bible is the word of God. Like his literal word. Not channeled through man. The idea the bible is always right. There are a lot. A LOT, of contradictions within the bible. 

But OK, if people want to live like that. It is their free will that they do right?

Wrong. Because they don't live like that. They do not actually yield authority to the bible when it is something they just believe in. It is rather like I have described them so far. It is like spiritual communities. They have some very general loyalty to the parts they like. But they don't actually believe in it in any legitimate way:

Youtube: Pearl: Why are Modern Christians So Insufferable: June 17th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/live/HRMcaWyalWM?si=cJZ7fz4uhdYqWteE

Pearl has many videos on this kind of subject. Including other hours long videos like her going to a church and asking the Christians coming out of it. "Should women obey their husbands".

During the discussions it has been explained that women obeying their husband, is what the bible says. There are some other lines like 'Love your wife like Christ loves the church". To justify a kind of "equality" kind of arrangement argument. But Christ does not take orders from the church. So with even a cursory explanation of that line. It does not mean an arrangement with equal leadership. 

So the Christians. Well they don't like that line. They are not even consistent with their own stated beliefs. The arguments from Aaron Abke proving Paul was a false prophet would not be received very well either. How do I know that? Because if they would have been, that would be the mainstream view. It is the more correct view. So it does not justify them not liking astrology. Their religion is an appeal to authority fallacy. Except when it is inconvenient. Therefore, their claimed reason for their beliefs is not true. So it must be something else. 

Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of My Father who is in heaven will enter. Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; leave Me, you who practice lawlessness.’ 

As I said, when I first got into the new age I drew comfort from the fact there are loads of new age people out there and loads of Christians. But that is falling away now. I realise that, as life moves forward and things change. That most of these people are self centered, unintelligent individuals with no answers. But that have just chosen a specific label for their own self interest. And then, like Pearl discusses. Take on the position of a moral high ground with answers that solve nothing... For some reason.

The video from the Roots of Life creator. Did not actually discuss anything to do with Christianity. It discussed how a lot of people try to repackage basic things like meditation to be something that you rely on a guru for. Aaron Abke in a recent video also talked about how some people involved in the spiritual life. Get obsessed with the entry level experiences, never going any further than that. 

I said this in the comments to the Creator of this video. That I think there may be another sub type of reason that happens sometimes. 

I have tried again and again to do healing stuff. I have talked about it here, on forums, and on my youtube channel. The fictional idea of healing still captures my imagination. And I suffer with medical issues. That are not overly painful. But they are daily and complex. There is a constant motivation to improve my physical health. And I do believe in these things.

But, despite many times of trying and trying again. I have learned that I am not a healer. I am not someone that can do this. I do have some small awareness and knowledge of general physical health due to my experiences. I remember going walking with the dog after one of these attempts. Feeling nothing but pure anger. There has also been a sense that I am covering something important, some wisdom that has to be opened with meditation. 

So the reason some Christians might think that Reiki healing and such is "evil". Is because they personally are not inclined towards it. But they pushed themselves into it at some point anyway. Trying to push yourself in a way that you are not destined to go feels sinister.  

This, for me, also extends to other things. While I can do music. I cannot write stories. It is a hard thing to learn I think to really accept our limitations. For the past few days with the sun and the women being out in their swimwear. I have been very motivated to figuring out how I am going to approach them or whatever. The only way I usually use to handle any issue I have is with spirituality. With the tools I use here. So I made up a second page of prayers to address this issue. (Also started practicing changing responses in visualisation) 

This, along with waking up in the morning being determined to write a smut story. Has lead me to realise that it really is very important for us to learn our limitations. To accept our limitations.

I was just learning what I talked about in this archetype and failed my first test of it:

It is hard to accept limitations. It is one of the behaviours that I have seen in people that are "narcissistic" in some description of the term. They don't accept the limitations of the world as in. That they don't have complete knowledge of others internal world. That they don't have the ability to do anything they want. As I said, I am a musician; not a healer or a storywriter. Despite, being very very interested in sci fi. Being very motivated to write. Just have not been able to. (I suppose this is writing! I meant as in fiction).

Where this links with these new age types of people. The video talks about how messed up they are. How they are kind of like narcissistic guru's and the guy making the video thought that perhaps the reason they were like that is that they were not meant to be in that position. But they pushed further and went there anyway. So they are like if I were to push ahead and actually become the healer that is veiled to me. Because I am not meant to do it. It would become fanatical and weird, and perhaps even seem evil. 

This kind of thing might unravel the whole system I wonder. It might unravel the very many people that are doing things that don't seem to be working. Perhaps a lot of these confused Christians, with no real beliefs that I can identify. Aren't meant to be that kind of Christian.