Stopping prayer continued.

I have been trying to think through something to write today. But the previous insight I have talked about. Is so world changing for me, that I have not been able to. It's only when thinking in a kind of new way that I have finally caught onto something to talk about. But even as I write here it is feeling like that yet again, dissolves. 

The decision to reform my spirituality without prayer has changed everything, but it would be trite to come out with articles, especially with about five days of experience of this new changed. Titled things like "3 ways stopping prayer changed my life for the better". I have also got a few other changes in my life that have coincidentally come at the same time. 

I have always had a strong effect from exercise and always noted a similar psychological effect. That is that I am able to notice and handle negativity more. And with that, am able to let go of things a lot more. When you start to feel stronger you don't need the anxiety in place anymore to protect you. So the other day I was thinking of having been "bullied" at an office job by being strategically kept out of the social life for two years. At this moment. Because of the exercise. I do not feel like it is at all a big deal. 

I am really quite sure that it is a strong, permanent change. When I talked to Grok about it. It became clear to me that I have put a lot of energy into keeping up the prayer because I didn't fully believe it. I was struggling with keeping within that paradigm. I used to have a big checklist of things I wanted to do everyday. Meditation, music, prayer, noted when I went to the gym and about fifteen other things. Now that I have stopped prayer all of a sudden I don't feel like I need it. I will meditate every day, that is not a problem, I don't need to make a list for that. My membership app keeps a record of when I go to the gym. I realise the main reason I did this was because of the prayer and nothing else. I needed to give myself a kind of good star for behaviour because I did not feel that I was getting anything from the energy investment. 

It aligns very much with the Uranus transit down to the day. It also aligns with a transit that I would have cast as specifically this kind of change. A change in my spiritual path as transiting Neptune is on the same hexagram place, 25.6. As my conscious North Node. Transiting Neptune will not return to gate 25.6. When it retrogrades again it will go back to 17.1. You don't tend to get the full effect until the planet will not retrograde back to that position. 

I have also, in replacement of the prayer. Found more value in the Q'uo recently. And done some energy healing, which seems to have come out well! I wrote endlessly before about how energy healing didn't suit me. But it might have been the prayer causing a kind of confusion and 'dull ness'. And the energy healing opposing that. So that is yet another change. I did an energy healing last night in the evening and had a great dream. Really emotional and connection heavy. 

I also am suddenly having a bit of a different reaction to a lot of media. I cannot stand social media. There are other psychological changes which I was drafting in my head for an article. But I really think I need to absorb the changes for months, not days, before I talk more on that. If I were to. Some things are just too personal and the result may be more interesting. 

I suspect, from the two poles of my mind, one that wanted to have my kind of first principles, in Christianity and prayer. And the other that wanted a more personal first principles. Since the second one won out. I will tend to go a little deeper in my opinions from now on. Also, I am putting a higher emphasis on reading and such. 

Anyway, I am also very suddenly living an unstructured life. The world feels like a huge place now and me a small part. Whereas, with the prayer, I felt like I had 'the power of God' on my side a bit more. So it might take a little while for the new structure of thinking to form. For instance, I am thinking a lot about how I have talked about Uranus in the gate 8 being related to the female homogenisation of spiritual outlooks. I have wondered a lot to myself today, if there is any evidence of that I can find in politics or culture? Like, my mind has suddenly shifted to a bit more of an evidence based approach. Or not really that. But more that than it was before.  

This is partly context for if I were to not post for a few days. I think I will post fine. But it was touch and go today. Like I said, sudden confusion and unstructured thinking.  

My alarm just went off on my phone, punctuating the end of the article just as I was about to press "publish", and I got the thought this might be my last post. I doubt that. I don't intend that. But I also wanted to record the thought here on the offchance it is correct.  

The amazingness of transits. Uranus gate 8 -> gate 20.

Going through a bit of a change at the moment.

I have type 1 diabetes. Because I am getting to the gym now. Which I LOVE. I have had to lower my long term insulin. A diabetic that uses insulin has two types. One long term, one short term. Exercise has the effect of lowering the need for insulin. 

But, I won't be going to the gym daily. So I need to lower my long term. And some days the exercise will make up the difference, and some days, the lack of exercise will not. So I will have low long term insulin on those days. Meaning I have to restrict the short term insulin I do. It gets very unpredictable at high doses if the long term is too low. So I will have to restrict my carbohydrate. No more rice meals. No more porridge or muesli. Only things like fruit and non carbohydrate. Like vegetables and meat, salad. Maybe potato waffles. 5 or less. The only time I would be able to eat something of a lot of carbohydrate value is when I have done a LOT of exercise. More than the amount to bring me back to normal. Which I won't do because I need to keep going every other day. 

So I am effectively locked into the best diet for weight loss. I might succeed at that where so many fail. Currently 93 kg. My perfect weight is 75. Mark this spot!

I have had BIG insights into how a lot of stuff runs, metaphysically, recently. One of the most significant transits I think for me has been that while transiting Uranus was in the gate 8. It completed a channel that I think was a big part of my "not self". The part of my not self that precipitated. Really strongly linked into, some confused ideas I had that linked to my previous schizophrenic breakdowns.

This was a linking of the G- self through to the throat, which Carla had, even if it was from another channel. Ah man, I do get afraid here I might get too complicated. But here we go. The G to the throat. Men can have this as well obviously. If I had of had that, I would have been naturally immune to getting conditioned there. But I didn't. I had half the channel. Which feels to me to be the most lethal. Having half the energy. Feeling it needs to be applied. But not having the 'full solution'. So that energy, from a defined centre no less. Potentially gets funnelled into something that the outside world considers correct.

But what I think, is that the G- self to the throat connects strongly to something that is legitimate in a limited context (so for Carla herself!) But has become overly homogenised. That is, the idea that spirituality boils down to a very love based, and devotional set of ideas. That that is the solution. I also think this relates, this is even, the female homogenisation of spirituality. 

I have this set up. Like I said. I have gate 1 hanging on a defined G- self. Also a defined throat. When Uranus was in gate 8 it became a whole thing for me to let go of something, I couldn't really articulate what. The schizophrenic type thoughts were triggered a bit and I settled with it being some reference to the idea of being a spiritual leader or teacher I was hung up on which was related to this kind of homogenisation. 

This was also, the same likely homogenised viewpoint that David Wilcock was battling with. Which I covered on my last comments when he quoted the Law of One. He had a hanging gate 1 on an undefined G- self. Which would likely have made the connection even stronger! 

It was always there, something I didn't quite have answers on specifically. But that I knew was kind of getting worked out. Then I checked the transits yesterday. 

Uranus moved out of gate 8 on the SAME DAY I had that insight about the prayer. And it not working for me. Which is also something I got indirectly from Carla!

To me, this kind of exact expression of the transits is common, but it always, somehow, re amazes! 

There is a lot I have been thinking about how my life seems to be improving with this insight on prayer and stopping it. But I will leave that for another article potentially. Also, it is fairly significant that Uranus has now moved into gate 20.

Spiritual moment of clarity.

This is a big, complex thing that I want to explain. In my head I have drafted it out and there have been a lot of elements, a lot of "foundation" that needs to be explained to get to my point out. But, hopefully a lot of foundation will not be necessary.

The point of this. Because it is focused on myself a lot. Is to bring up the point, that sometimes, something we deeply believe is part of our preferred spiritual path, turns out not to be. No matter how many good justifications we have for it. No matter how legitimate it seems.  

Cool videos: 

These two videos, I think are relevant:

Youtube: Literary Archeology: Satan Hates Mockery. Let's laugh at him and his evil demons. April 29th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=umLi9CHKKnI

And

Youtube: Vibes Frequencies: Why I stopped being spiritual. April 24th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKw4MUW3H14

The first video by Literary Archeology. Describes something that has become overwhelmingly clear recently in my spiritual path. The video hit the nail on the head with the relevant emotion. 

The second video I posted. To highlight someone else saying something similar to what I am. I am intending to talk about spirituality and life as seen from a male perspective specifically. I think that is what is going on with this video. 

Just quickly, I wanted to say a little niggling issue for me. The Law of One states directly that the difference between male and female is very important. It's the kind of thing that would get you downvoted on reddit. Like acknowledging ANY difference between the genders. Technically of course, leftists like redditors are insane. Even bringing up basic gender differences in a lot of situations is taboo, but it is like ignoring the sun itself. Even if that perspective has no validity, I still wanted to say that. 

Coincidentally, or not. The subject that I want to discuss is actually directly relevant to this archetype and point, I think.  

Questioner: I can understand, to use a poor term again, the necessity for an archetype for Catalyst or a model for Catalyst of the Mind, but what is the reason for having a blueprint or model for Experience of the Mind other than this simple model of the dual repository for the negative and positive catalyst? It would seem to me that the first distortion of free will would be better served if no model for experience were made. I’m somewhat confused on this. Could you clear it up?

Ra: I am Ra. Your question is certainly interesting and your confusion hopefully productive. We cannot learn/teach for the student. We shall simply note, as we have previously, the attraction of various archetypes to male and to female. We suggest that this line of consideration may prove productive.

Error in flow state.  

For a long time I have wanted to get into some sort of flow state. Which I recently managed. Prayers three times a day. I have a long list of mostly made up ones. And meditation per day. I also read the Law of One everyday although that was not deliberately part of this 'flow' state. 

Eventually, it seemed that I kind of 'crashed' though. I feel often that I have two major things to get on with. Positive spirituality. North Node of the Gate 25. All this stuff. And music. Gate 21. Design North Node. 

The personality North Node. The Meditation stuff. Even potentially the Law of one stuff. Is like my life outside music (part of the tool that gets small tasks done). Music is the passion. Passion can take over the life and mess it up. Like the Van Goghs of the world. But when I got all this stuff aligned. Music was not the priority, and the constant prayer and meditation, with the Law of One as well. Turned everything ridiculously, obsessively, over cerebral. It gave me headaches. I could feel my energy going very high in my body. 

Like the first video said though. I had done everything 'technically' perfectly. But I felt very uncomfortable. Very ill at ease. The thing I loved, music. Was not being prioritised. 

Protection:

It is difficult for me to square my own identity as a Christian in a sense of the word. I became Christian from paying attention to the Law of One and Carla's narrative on these things. Various experiences, some real pains, drew me closer and closer to that kind of energy. Specifically, when I was in close contact with a Borderline friend who later killed herself, and was falling prey to her manipulations in a sense. Or had become embroiled in them. The situation was opposed by a strong energy in this area and the start of me doing Communion regularly.  

At the same time, I am also kind of. Not like a regular Christian. I am an individual thinker. I believe in things like astrology. I work through philosophy as well and do not like hypocrisy. Like people that would support lockdown and then claim the moral highground. I also don't believe in a lot of mainstream Christianity. Like the blood sacrifice. So in a lot of ways I am not Christian at all. The definition is one that people would disagree with if their definition is to get on in "fellowship" with such characters. 

It's strange. I relate to these teachings. But I also don't have a full belief in the way that a lot of people seem to experience it. I do have an emotional connection to the Law of One contact. But my emotional connection to "Jesus" is not that strong. 

But, when looking for direction. Improving things and getting good results. I have kind of adopted the attitude of increasing my faith in this direction. Of praying and such. Like I said. If you are a Christian, you pray, right?

Male and Female psychology.

By which I mean, male psychology really. I can't pretend to really understand female psychology. 

Stefan Molyneux once described that men are far more objective than women. Since men work with their bodies in the real world. Like, if you are hunting, or logging, or any of the various ways men gain resources. Then if you make a mistake with these things you could literally die. 

Womens world, of relating to others and caring for children is not quite the same. It relies a lot more on emotional things. On social manipulations. Womens deepest danger is not men. Even if men were to enslave her, he would keep her alive, and probably let her nurse her children, since women offer value in that way. Womens deepest danger is other women. Who may socially ostracise said women (and the men won't argue because they don't want to lose sexual access!) 

This means that, the world of philosophy. That has always seemed to me to be high IQ men trying to understand the world. The idea of 'first principles". Taking things down to their most basic to explain them. Is very male. It's very much based on this same kind of idea. 

This goes to the second video a bit. I think men are simply not able to base their reality in a lot of these abstract concepts. They are, like, technical work. But a lot of the things that spirituality/ mysticism talk about. A lot of the things that discuss spiritual concepts and talk about "love" and such. Are things that women can understand more than men. 

Prayer:

This is my main takeaway point that I was trying to get to. Prayer has become a big piece of my life that I have committed to for many years now. Like I said, three times a day. And even though before recently it was not regular and daily. It was often. 

But I have found there is something wrong with doing it. The effect from prayer is strong. The effect of prayer has palpably changed my behaviours. I have even prayed in a way that it seems to effect other people. But, there is something of a dulling that comes from it. Dulling of my real feelings. 

It makes no sense to me in relation to my spiritual path, as a kind of Christian, to stop this practice. But it does seem to me to be the correct thing to do. 

As I was thinking about it. I realise that according to the Law of One, and in line with the videos and that already said. That what the contact said was that if we are aligned with what we are doing. Also with love. 

So I wonder, if, the protection I was looking for from prayer can be found through paying attention to gathering 'wisdom'. Like in reading the Law of One? But also other things. 

Conclusion.

For me, I just feel like I can continue to pray to entities, and engage in the kind of prayer to things that I can't really feel are really there. 

Everything in life, most of the time, seems to become more of what it is. When we practice music. We have to go deeper and improve. When we do any spirituality, we have to continue down that same route. 

I have not done any music yet, I have meditated still. Without the prayer like I said, I can feel quite a few differences. Just a slight bit of increased sense of what is good for me and what is not.  

Closure.

I am holding off on a blog post. A certain subject. It is something I have posted before, changed my mind on, and deleted. Something that is very important. But because I have made the decision and changed my mind before. I do not want to write about it and commit to it, because I do not want to change my mind and delete it. I want to flesh out the experience of this change. Get more data. Make a better case. Hopefully it will only take one more full day. 

I do like to post everyday though. Else why make this post? 

So I will lay to rest a kind of boring subject. I have realised I don't care a great deal about David Wilcock and what was going on with him. Yes, it was a shock, and yes, it gave me a little bit of insight ref my predator/ victim post. (This has reflected into other people).

When I was young I attached to him a lot. When I grew older and realised he was a fraud (whether legitimate or pathologically naive). It essentially set up two different people. Two different people in a sense that related to him from myself. One was the young and naive person. Then was the freshly skeptical adult. 

I had some feeling for him left over from my childhood. You could kind of feel his desire for things to change positively and I wondered how he would be in that world if it did happen. (Him being a criminal). 

Despite him being connected to the Law of One. Despite him having opened my eyes to a lot of those things. He went from fraud to fraud to fraud. There is a kind of law that Stefan Molyneux discovered. "Love is our involuntary response to virtue, if we are virtuous". I don't really feel like I can have any particular positive feelings for someone that engaged in all that fraud. 

Synchronistically perhaps. I was watching one of the last season of one of the best shows I have ever seen today. Person of Interest. This will be a spoiler. But not of any overarching plot. Just of one episode. In it a conspiracy theorist, who is actively searching and runs a radio show. Stumbles on real evidence of something powerful/ supernatural. The evidence is not conclusive though. It is a strong and significant clue in the right direction. 

The protagonists try to explain to him, after he is nearly gunned down a few times. That he cannot reveal this information. Which the conspiracy theorist agrees to. Then changes his mind. 

But when he puts it all on the air, there is a different response than what was expected. The first person that phones in wants to talk about his own abduction experience. He isn't engaging with the material. The second one is bringing in some ridiculous idea. Some wacko idea not at all correct. It becomes immediately clear that even though the conspiracy theorist radio host really cares about the subject matter. His audience do not really. They are just wackos.  

Learning and book four of the Law of One.

I'm in a bit of a change period. Where I am trying to apply a concept. A spiritual concept. One that I have applied before and has not been successful. To see if I can gain information. To understand things. So I'll make this entry simple. 

So, reading the Law of One then.

In book 4. The Contact talks to the group that it will instruct them on the tarot. The major arcana. This is a teaching process. Not a lecture. So the contact instructs Don to look into the tarot and ask questions based on what he thinks they are trying to express. 

I have often wondered about this. That the readers, have likely not done that same amount of introspection. So what of free will. Are we not having our free will violated by reading the book?

This is not the case. For some reason. I do not know why. But in reading the book the contact is clearly aware of the situation. It states that Don's job is not to create an infallible set of images. But to generally introduce people to the material. Something like that, in session 93 or 94 I think. 

But there may be another way that this works. A theory I was working on, trying to think through a few weeks ago. That I may have hinted to here but I don't think I came out and stated. Is that there is something about the negative that is more objective in a kind of callous way than the positive. The negative, simply adapts in opposition to the positive. Like I previously discussed. If just lies to sabotage the positive. An example is that the liberals used to say for years "keep religion out of schools". Then when that was done. They are adding Islam into schools. Prayer days and such in UK schools. 

The negative is also very grounded. Very obsessed with the result in the physical world. It appears in many ways to be able to give the best result. Whereas, the positive often has to explain a whole lot of abstract and long term thinking in order to make its case.  

I played with the idea, but like I said. Can't really do anything with it. It is kind of vague. There is no POINT to it. In a sense. But then I saw this quote:

Questioner: There seems to be no large hint of polarity in this drawing except for the possible coloration of the many cups in the wheel. Part of them are colored black and part of the cup is white. Would this indicate that each experience has within it a possible negative or positive use of that experience that is randomly generated by this seeming wheel of fortune?

Ra: I am Ra. Your supposition is thoughtful. However, it is based upon an addition to the concept complex which is astrological in origin. Therefore, we request that you retain the concept of polarity but release the cups from their strictured form. The element you deal with is not in motion in its original form but is indeed the abiding sun which, from the spirit, shines in protection over all catalyst available from the beginning of complexity to the discerning mind/body/spirit complex.

Indeed you may, rather, find polarity expressed, firstly, by the many opportunities offered in the material illusion which is imaged by the not-white and not-dark square upon which the entity of the image is seated, secondly, upon the position of that seated entity. It does not meet opportunity straight on but glances off to one side or another. In the image you will note a suggestion that the offering of the illusion will often seem to suggest the opportunities lying upon the left-hand path or, as you might refer to it more simply, the service-to-self path. This is a portion of the nature of the Catalyst of the Mind.

My emphasis. 

It really gives me a place to put that insight. In a sense.  

This answer here, also seems to feed a little into the post I had two days ago. Not conclusively. But it is interesting:

Questioner: I was just wondering if the transparency of the garment on the third card indicates the semi-permeable nature of the veil between conscious and subconscious?

Ra: I am Ra. This is a thoughtful perception and cannot be said to be incorrect. However, the intended suggestion, in general, is an echo of our earlier suggestion that the nature of catalyst is that of the unconscious; that is, outward catalyst comes through the veil.

All that you perceive seems to be consciously perceived. This is not the correct supposition. All that you perceive is perceived as catalyst unconsciously. By the, shall we say, time that the mind begins its appreciation of catalyst, that catalyst has been filtered through the veil and in some cases much is veiled in the most apparently clear perception.

To me. I am wondering if I am thinking these things over. So in a sense. I have requested the teaching. It also makes me wonder about my thinking in general. This whole thing was semi profound, religious even. My thoughts came first and the quotes came afterward. I have read these books fully when I was younger, about twenty years ago. So it can be explained by the subconscious. 

But if thoughts are kind of structured or guided like that. A lot of my thoughts might be relevant. Leading somewhere. So to speak.

Bringing powerful metaphysical knowledge to real life.

So, to buffer against the fact I am doing a boring first section to this article. I will explain it's trajectory. I want to summarise my own personal situation. Then highlight some pieces of information I have gleaned from dream guidance, which links into the Human Design Chart. 

So your pal No Name Here (I've never been able to change that! I assumed I could when I started.) Is getting FAT. It has come from bad choices on my behalf. Namely, for about six months I have been stuck in a loop of being extremely afraid of constipation. The only thing that worked was chocolate. So, rather than do the sensible thing and go to the doctor for something that is stronger than what was already prescribed. I got stuck in an anxiety loop where it was the only thing I thought about. But the chocolate, sorted me out for the day, and I steadily gained weight from around 82 kg to 92 kg (I am 5'10"). Making my BMI now 29.7. I have never been fat before. Before about 2020 I never had an issue with weight and was steadily about 23.7.

I now have better medication for the constipation. Am meditating daily. Have been to the gym once but plan to go regularly. Things are moving but, there is a lot that needs be retraced, so to speak. It will take a huge effort to move in the right direction in reference to weight. The second I stopped caffeine, my weight was 92.8, 92.6, 92.4, 92.2, 92.0. Sounds good though. And then, unexpectedly, somehow, the following day, I was 93.6.

The point is now to take as much information as possible. Learn the precise thing that created that specific raise. Weight every day, precise food records. Etc. 

This is a model I put together from a long time of dream interpretation. The input is the general stuff of life, but there is a central spiritual thing, usually an injustice, that a person is focused on. The Good Light is all the good things a person motivates towards. Spirituality etc. The bad light is the stuff that is changeable within us but is kind of dark. All the stuff you can psychotherapy out. 

The Bad Darkness is things that you can't change. Like, a genetic thing. Tik Tok autism type of stuff. Things that will not fix via psychotherapy. Good Darkness is the things that are good, and that might be side effects of Good Light. But in the environment that we live in, they might not be good. An example is having a fairly high expectation of good behaviour in a fairly low status job. The negative side of a good self worth, and spiritual concepts that we are all One. 

The output is how all the real, gritty world problems are created. Things like narcissistic tendencies or whatever. 

When looking at the next part of the dream after this. I feel a complete sense of endless confusion. Even when looking at previous dreams where I apparently got this information. I can't remember how I did so. 

I have tried many times to interpret the dreams that followed these insights. To no avail. It's like something has been switched off. So I went back to what has already been gained to see if the energy blockage is coming because I have not yet applied what I have been given properly. 

There is more to say here, more insights I have already gained from this. But the point is, is that the many tools I use and talk about on this blog. They have to have real world relevance and application. 

When I look at this model. Including some of the things I have already found out about it. I feel intimidated. I feel small. That I am really putting together new knowledge from the depths. But in order for this information to be relevant. To be needed. It would have to apply to a problem that seems insurmountable almost. And I am in that. The health issues are not the only issue. I am also unemployed. Getting way to old with not enough experience dating for that to ever work out. Etc. 

Predators. Victims. Things to think over.

Some conflicting viewpoints going around in my mind. As with most conflicting viewpoints. The answer is probably exasperatingly in the middle. The eternal "balancing" and all that.

Youtube: Royal City Church: Exposed: The Sin Behind Your Morality: Pastor Andrew Carter. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaGSLLYi8Uc

The world is full of a lot of different theories. With my very non traditional beliefs. From people like Paul Wallis and Aaron Abke. I don't believe in some of the fundamentals of current Christian thought. Some of the things that are very fundamental.

But, as I mature, I feel I am starting to grip a makeshift tolerance. In the world, I have observed that people that have beliefs that do not make sense to me. Like deep skepticism of new age thought. Or mainstream Christianity. Nevertheless provide a lot of "Service to Others". 

To me, the way it seems to work. Is that people grip some kind of belief system that is service to others. And then, they add their intention to it to do good. And basically twist most of the belief system to legitimate service to others.

The Protestant (unlike the Catholic) religion is strongly anti any kind of salvation by works doctrine. It is purely salvation by faith which means technically, a purely technical argument. Is that you could murder in cold blood and for not good reason every single day, but as long as you believe, or claim to believe, you have given your heart to Jesus. You are all good. But even in this video Andrew does not hold a line as hard as that. 

The point that I wanted to gain from this and that I am thinking over. Is that it summarises a belief that we can never really know what is going on inside another. The example given was that there was a very charismatic character in a town at one point. People trusted him with their kids. His name was John Wayne Gacie. A prolific serial killer. 

Youtube: Pearl Davis: Betrayal is Internal and Has Nothing to do With You. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mb2UfCnbqRE

I've talked about this woman before. I have heard a lot of very profound things from her. Her platform really seeks to, in humorous fashion sometimes including ridicule. Really show up a lot of female manipulation and such. The trouble is, with all female creators in this kind of area. Is often their very presence goes against their own argument. Pearls wisdom in a lot of these videos, I think, is quite good. 

But this is the other perspective to take here. In this video. She talks about dealing with people and some patterns she has observed in the real world. 

A lot of the time we just have to observe the way people are in the real world. 

Real experience: 

One thing I have gained from Davids recent behaviour. Is that, as the stories come out about what he was living through. He really was a victim.

I spent a lot of my young life obsessed with his narrative and his materials. I wondered today if, on the subconscious level, I had perceived that this had threatened my friendships when young and if I was angry about that. It is a strange thing to consider having had a completely subconscious insight that I have not been aware of before, and having some emotion around that. 

I still feel rage that I was lied to. Which is something I obviously need to come to terms with. I believed he had real insiders. He did not have real insiders. So that is a kind of aggressive act against me. 

But as the stories come out. It shows that David does seem to have been a victim. He spent ten hours on the phone a lot of days with a friend of his. He lost absolutely millions to Stavatti. And as Jay Weidner is apparently about to chronical, Corey Goode also had a lot of psychological hold over him. 

It is an important thing to have a concept for dealing with manipulators and seriously toxic individuals. But it seems to me possible that there are legitimate victims who do appear like predators. 

It is not clear whether the whole area is more complex than can be understood, and is only really up to God to understand. Like the Christian view I talked about. Or if the continual processing of catalyst, can lead to some sort of understanding beyond my initial understanding. 

Just stuff to think over.