Knowing the facts!

So, haven't posted for a few days. Because, I wanted to have the benefit of meditation. 

I have meditated daily for a short while now and... It IS the answer. Not so much the answer in itself. But it seems to provide just a sense of improvement and good luck to the rest of my life. If I meditate, I am more likely to pray. If I meditate, I sleep better. I am in a better mood. Etc. 

I also think I am getting good results from the general things I am doing. A lot of things I have taken from the Law of One and other improvements, such as drinking a lot of water. Have really improved my life recently. 

The issue I described earlier of, because I have not been doing meditation. Losing a sense of direction. Not knowing what to read or why to read it. Has definitely changed since the daily meditation. I do know what to read and think and I am doing that. But I do not have conclusions on those things yet. I have thoughts on those things. But not conclusions that can be communicated. 

I wanted to make a quick note here though. On a thought that I have had. Since coming off X I have definitely felt an improvement, since not engaging with X, I have appreciated political youtube more. Not red pill political. No more of that. I don't need to know about female psychology at the moment. But political theory, history, and sometimes a video on political events.

I was surprised though. With the Russell Brand situation. I have seen it pop up a few times. While I know there are a fair few people that believed Russell to be guilty. I did not click on those. A few creators have made videos on the whole thing not being right and being a 'he said she said' situation. 

That though, is not correct! I asked Grok. In one case, the one where the most serious crime was tried. There was substantial evidence including medical. Three more where sexual assault was alleged and I suppose now. Convicted. And three more that were dismissed. If those cases were dismissed. It kind of lends credence to the idea that the courts are doing their job, rather than assuming him to be guilty. 

There were 340 witness statements including statements from the victims families saying that certain behaviour was grooming. One of these cases was when Russell was 30 and the girl involved was 16. There are further charges being investigated.

A lot of people in the comments are saying things like that they don't believe the case because it is a case of withdrawn consent years later. Or that it is because the establishment is after him.

They said that about Andrew Tate as well. But the claims about Andrew Tate coming out are so bad, and so unlikely to be made up. That no one is talking about it. 

The reason I suppose that this has annoyed me. Is that, I have not once made a video on an existing political situation. I think I have made some videos casually referring to the red pill. I like to talk about political theory. But I have never made a video on something like the Russell Brand situation but if I were to. I would be sure to do a LOT of research so I knew my facts. I just wouldn't want to get something like that wrong.

For a lot of people on youtube. That doesn't appear to be the case.  

The Law of One and the Absolute Primacy of Meditation.

I forget myself sometimes. 

If you listen to most Christian preachers. There will often be a message that comes up again and again. Pray. Pray- pray- pray- pray- pray!

In the llresearch community. In the Law of One communities. There is a similar repeated message. The primacy of love is one of them. Although I don't strictly agree with that. But another message, that I do agree with, strongly. Is the primacy of meditation.

Like how a Christian preacher mentions prayer every video. I think there are not enough times that I could also make a post about meditation. 

I have had my own insight on this specific card. The value we experience in life, often comes from the subconscious. Which is the bird in the cage there. I notice that the ball the person is focusing on. Which I think is a representation of the positive types of things we can focus on (like spirituality or prayer or meditation, whatever it is for us!) Is separate from the value that can actually be provided in the real world.

The mind does not move. It has no movement. The person in this image cannot move forward, lest he trip over the bird cage. So he focuses at the ball, but the benefit comes to him indirectly.

I think that is how the mind works. We push forward in some way, and it provides the value. But it doesn't always provide the value (the bird) by actually FOCUSING on the thing that provides the value. Sometimes, we have to stay spiritually aligned, and the value comes from elsewhere. In fact, maybe not just sometimes. The card would indicate it is a fundamental mechanic.

The physical world. 

I have noticed that strongly with the gym. I love the gym. It makes me feel alive. But I never get to the gym unless I meditate and keep up with my spiritual practices. These are often coincidental reasons. But I do not attribute this exclusively to spirituality. Meditation tunes me in a way that I am just a small percentage, maybe 5%+, better on every single decisions. And this mounts up. I just make slightly better decisions, and it can get me to the gym.

The last time I didn't get to the gym I knew this. I meditated the next day, and I went to the gym the next day.

But meditation, as a practice. Is so impossibly positive and powerful it needs to be done more than that and I have not been meditating recently. 

I notice when I meditate. Things immediately come into focus. The problems I think are problems. That I have thought about a lot. Are actually not problems. They are often a little bit amusing! The worries I have are not so strong. 

There are two sides of my recent output that might be relevant. Firstly, the reason I might be turning away from a lot of things at the moment is that I have lost an 'inner star' in a sense. An inner sense of direction so everything starts to feel a bit disconnected. Secondly, even though there may be a confused and/ or incorrect aspect of my recent insights. There is a definitively positive one. Coming off X means that I am less interested in politics in general. The current US mid terms are important politically. And I am GENUINELY not paying attention. 

The next thing the Q people get excited about. Like they got excited sometime last month about the Q post including "11.3 verifies as the first marker and confirms future direction" (that might not be an exact quote!) When they think a mass arrest is going to happen at Christmas or something. I actually won't know about this.

This provides a place, where there would have been a large energy expenditure. Politics is the opportunity to engage in irrelevant drama. But in that place. I can now meditate. I can now really appreciate peace. 

I think that is all I have to say. The trouble is with this subject is that it feels there should be a book written about it. There is more I have to say. But the point stands on its own and the point, is largely individual anyway. I experience certain sensations, certain insights in a reliable style, when I meditate. But many people will experience completely different sensations. 

I do though, feel powerless, in that I don't seem to be able to make myself remember how good meditation is and to do it daily. I have had a few small health problems and other things these past weeks. In fact, it is only now I have adjusted my medication that I have had this insight. But it is still annoying how I do not do meditation as frequently as I feel is necessary. I do suspect that without that 'tuning'. A good section of what I do has less purpose to it than I would otherwise have if I had kept up with the meditation.  

Using catalyst properly.

I have, for the longest time, stayed aprised of the output of a lot of youtubers that talk about narcissism and such. The reason being, as I see it. Is that I am kind of 'neurodivergent' in a way. In that, because of my physical health condition. I think a bit differently, and I am vulnerable, in a sense. 

I do have the positive thing of not having a lot to offer anyone that would want to exploit me. Someone that is a friend of mine is not going to suddenly find themselves out on the town with a bunch of beautiful women. There is 'no gold to dig', so to speak. When I say a positive thing, I do not mean that sarcastically. I recall a dream I had once where I was from a rich family with friends and lovers that were not real friends and lovers; and everybody being left wing and I couldn't say anything about it. 

Every positive, has a potential negative attached to it. Money and social status are those honours that can also be burdens. 

So, I infrequently meet manipulative people. But I have, in the past, known manipulative people. I have thought through, fairly complex manipulations that happened in work places. Learning all the buzz terms of narcissism such as 'triangulation'. When I first found this material I watched a video a day. Now, before the insight that lead to this article. I only followed two youtubers that discuss this subject and would check in just every so often. Maybe once a week. 

This entire subject reminds me of the subject of what is 'transcient'. Transcient is how the Law of One described conspiracy information. I got very into conspiracy for a few years. Very into. Like, every day into. But I have come away from it slowly but surely to this point now where I don't even go on X. Which is the lightest conspiracy there is. Since it only comes up in 1/20 posts or so. And even then, very mildly.

With these things. With both narcissism info and conspiracy. I have started to believe that engaging with both of them is not positive for what I want in my life at this moment. The reason is simple. When things happen in our lives. We get anxious in dealing with them. When I, and people around me, experience a lack of clarity about the future. Due to a truly terrible job market. Due to having absolutely no clear idea of what is going to happen in the future politically (Well, I have some Q understanding, but that is a bit obscure!). This is an experience of anxiety. And I could, if I wanted, go onto various very technical political sources. Promethean Action for example. But this would get rid of that anxiety. It would put me in a technical mindset and maybe, the catalyst of providing me anxiety. Is for me to process without outside sources.

A similar thing with narcissism info. I recently got a message from a friend, a friend that was close enough once upon a time for this to cause deep emotions.  I was trying to reconnect with him and, this will sound ridiculous and made up but it is not far away from what was said; "I am sorry I responded legitimately to you being a FUCKING ASSHOLE" - Unironically labelled as a legitimate apology. It took me several days, and running this through AI, to realise; it was not a proper apology!

But, what of processing this on my own? Away from narcissism videos? Well, it caused emotion. The emotion means thinking these things over and coming to my own conclusions. It actually meant I started to make a good song. ("It starts 'I'm sorry you're such an asshole, my apology might need some work!'") Whereas, one of the youtube channels I used to follow, someone I hold in high regard. Made a video about the false apology of the narcissist about ten days before I got the email, that really explained everything in, what I feel to be, obviously correct, terms. 

But it takes the entire thing away from my own processing. When I am thinking this through myself I come to less clear conclusions. But, the conclusions that I will come to will be more useful to me and hence, will be remembered better. Why am I not completely immune to manipulation tactics having watched many hundreds of videos by now? Because obviously, it didn't stick. 

A similar thing to what I have recently talked about about in relation to philosophy (or psychology, referencing Carl Jung, either!). As much as I liked it as a tool in the past when I was kind of growing my wisdom. It doesn't seem so relevant now. It does not feel like it provides useful insights. Since the great philosophers wrote down their ideas. Two things have happened. One, those ideas have spread quite far due to the internet. Now even laymen can understand Nietzsche, for example. Two, those same people are intelligent in their own right. The narcissism video on apologies I mentioned, reasons through in fantastic clarity. Youtube is a bit of a free market still. 

I have also already collected information from these sources. It is not like I am rejecting them outright. Only coming away from further information collection.  

One of the best feelings I have known. Was the one I got when I started looking at the Law of One. It is a feeling of being utterly alien but in a positive way. Like an alien, positive vibe was just, 'in everything'. I don't get such a strong feel like that from the Law of One anymore. But I do get it from somewhere else... Dream interpretation, combined with the Law of One. I have three years of dream interpretation to catch up with! It won't be long until it is four! So for me, perhaps the point is to start to create my own ideas on these things?

And, the thing about dealing with narcissistic types of things. Manipulations in general. That has always irked me a little. Is that the discussion is always centred on the manipulator. But actually, when it comes to other people. We will very rarely actually know anything about how they operate internally, especially if they are hiding it. So the focus should obviously be on behaviours we can have in our everyday life that are just naturally positive for us and that discourage these kinds of manipulations and interactions in general. 

Like, an example of this might be the Law of One. The interaction I explained, with the friend that reconnected and it went south. Well, that person is a pure Generator. Who, has always, initiated. Is not interested in the Human Design. And I, being a Manifestor. Was reacting in a way that upset the tempo of his initiations - I was holding him to the standard of someone that should naturally initiate, another Manifestor. This begins to offer a different model as to how to interact. A different way to hold this various information. It actually gave me an insight into why, mechanically, the Generator shouldn't initiate and the Manifestor can. Or said more correctly. The blockage that forms when the Generator initiates.

There are also other things I might put together if I am not disturbing my own processing with outside sources. There have been several times people have tried to manipulate me. I remember, in detail, each one. And what was happening. Why they appeared to do what they did in the larger context. Pulling some of these different examples together I can use pattern recognition to potentially come to other, original conclusions. 

An insight from the Law of One, into the negative polarity. (Session 20.32)

The session and answer is as follows:

Questioner: How would such stone heads influence a people to take the path of service to self?

Ra: I am Ra. Picture, if you will, the entities living in such a way that their mind/body/spirit complexes are at what seems to be the mercy of forces which they cannot control. Given a charged entity such as a statue or a rock formation charged with nothing but power, it is possible for the free will of those viewing this particular structure or formation to ascribe to this power, power over those things which cannot be controlled. This, then, has the potential for the further distortion to power over other-selves. 

There are a lot of parts of the Law of One that are obviously, unspeakably, profound.

This is not one of them. Unlike Session 19.17 or 10.12. This is one of those that sounds like casual, and for practical purposes, irrelevant. But, this kind of passage is the reason it is worth going through the Law of One with a fine tooth comb. In my view, it is actually very important.

What is being said here, is that when people hold a God like being. But not God. Like, a statue, or perhaps a figure like the Native Americans worship animal guides. Or the polytheistic religions in general. Or even, the Law of Attraction often does this; people have been quoted as part of Law of Attraction groups saying things like people deserved Volcanoes destroying their villages because they were thinking wrong. When people, as part of that religion, ascribe to those forces the power over things like... wind. This is actually a negatively polarised way of looking at things.

Which is quite interesting. Because it is quite a frequent way of looking at things within spiritual and religious cultures.

It reminds me of one of David Wilcocks stories. He said that he went out into the forest and it was incredibly windy, and he shouted something about being free as part of some sort of ritual. And the wind immediately stopped after that. 

I have recently talked about stopping with a dream catcher. This has turned out well. It appears that nightmares it was apparently blocking which I am getting now. They seem to ground me. And my ability to write music appears to be returning! 

So I was thinking about what the Dream Catcher probably means on a "magickal" level. The Native Americans were not the peaceful loving people almost all US media seems to paint them as. I picked up Benjamin Franklins autobiography. As Benjamin Franklin is someone that the Law of One advises to study further. Benjamin talks about dealing with them in non positive terms. And they were also known to go to war with each other and use rape as a weapon of war. 

Considering that. It is quite the bastardisation of history to express Native Americans in only positive terms. As they are in the media.

If the Native Americans were like this. Then it would be likely to me that a dream catcher would serve the function of keeping away the most negative parts of their minds so they would not be bothered by their own behaviours and carnage. So the dream catcher was likely, not "negative" per sey. But with negative people. It allowed them to have an apparently positive dream life while being a negative, warlike culture. 

Whereas, in todays culture. Where many of us have not even used a weapon in combat. The apparent 'negativity' in our subconscious minds potentially serves a positive purpose.  

Another person that the Law of One advised to study further was Thomas Jefferson. The founding of America seems to have been given a positive nod by the Law of One. And this did come at the destruction of the Native American culture.

The Q Agenda and the Insufferable Woke.

On another blog I had. The second you put a video in the blog. It would embed. I thought up until recently it still did that. It was so much cooler. Now it doesn't do that. This has the benefit of if I am going to say something other than positive about the video the person is not pinged, and so isn't invited to view it. But it is also. Pretty uncool! 

Two videos I think are interesting;

Youtube: Mark Walsh: Why I'm no longer talking to woke people. October 28th 2026:

https://youtu.be/Xh52rXZlnGQ?si=1EsWVanlckHrC7wD

And this:

Youtube. Liam Out Loud: The West Has Become One Giant HR Department: October 29th 2026:

https://youtu.be/vtu4vfbaR3s?si=uwcR82Ry8PUc6zOR

From a Q paradigm.  

But first, I wanted to talk about QAnon and what the idea is behind what is happening at the moment from the perspective of those communities. 

I am struggling to source relevant posts here because I have not done so previously and there are a lot of Q posts floating about. 

The idea behind the Q posts. Is that. Firstly, we were and to an extent still are ruled by very negative forces. There are differences within the community as to whether this is a process and humanity has only partially overtaken the deep state through Trump. Or that, behind the scenes, the good guys have taken over, and for some strange reason, perhaps a tragetted psy op to awaken the population. Has kept the entire charade going:

The Q community has provided a lot of very valid proofs. But they have also provided a lot of invalid proofs. Sometimes, all the signs come together to prove something truly spectacular. Like they did at the last election (when I was starting to lose faith). But a lot of the time they get all excited and nothing happens. Too many times now. 

For me personally. This has been going on way too long. Firstly, I used to get all excited about astrology transits. This is a common theme in the astrology community. Then, obviously I followed David Wilcock for years. Very frequently he would 'ring the bell' and nothing happened. I prepped when David Wilcock advised it in 2016. Those tins got so expired they literally exploded into black goo in the cupboard I was keeping them in. I had no idea they could even do that. 

Then there has been the predictions of the Q community themselves. And I am tired. This has been a long road to the eventual just exhaustion and 'entropy' with political subjects in general.  

So tired, in fact, that even when things happen now. Like the BBC, the mainstream. Coming around that it is important to prep. Almost like, as several commentators have said. They "know" something. War with Russia? Something Epstein list/ Q. Trump related? I just... Don't care. 

The first relevant point. 

Bearing that in mind there are two relevant issues for me. One, like many other people I suspect. I like my personal life. I walk my dog. I go to the gym and improve my health. I make slow progress on spiritual matters like I talk about on this blog and I read the Law of One. This is a nice life for me. A rewarding life and what I would probably do if I was rich enough to live how I wanted. 

BUT, at the same time. In practical terms. In practical real world terms such as in the area of career, money, friendships and romantic relationships. In the area of real world movement and personal power... Well, nothing moves at all. This is, largely, I believe. Because of the stagnant state of society. DEI hiring, and no hiring because of bad economic conditions. The stuck state of consciousness of the world with all these leftists walking about. The stagnant state of... power. It is my belief that because power is set in the same few hands. Which is, with some exceptions, that of those that conform ideologically. Nothing moves about socially in society either. 

We need a couple of people that have been ostracised by the left to gain power to rewire social dynamics I think. In that way, those ideologues have to watch their step. Lest they offend someone that they would regret doing so! The left also, don't believe in meritocracy, a.k.a actually being good at the job, or 'goodness' really. They prefer virtue signalling. So it is only when people outside their orbit gains in the world. Like Elon Musk. That the world actually, practically, moves forward.

The second of the two relevant points. 

There is a new revolutionary zeal on X at the moment. The Q team have put forward a sudden. Not slow. Mass arrest kind of scenario. 

They have also put forward a specific number. Is it a date? Who knows. It's the kind of source where something could later turn out to be something else. But the post, which I don't have on hand, states something like "11.3 verifies as first marker and confirms future direction".

This is the first time since the Q posts started that the date of November 3rd actually falls on a significant day. The US Mid terms are on November 3rd. So the Q Community on X are very excited about this. 

I also, personally, think this all relates to the Law of One. It is quite possible that the source for the Law of One has some relevance here. Either consciously or otherwise. The challenge that the Q Community has is watching all these crimes. From mass migration and such. And doing nothing. The Q Community is also deeply Christian. An important number in relation to Q is the number 17 because Q is the 17th letter of the alphabet:

Session 17, Question 17:

Questioner: Can you tell me what the Orion group did in order to try to cause his downfall?

Ra: I am Ra. We may describe in general what occurred. The technique was that of building upon other negatively oriented information. This information had been given by the one whom your peoples called “Yahweh.” This information involved many strictures upon behavior and promised power of the third-density, service-to-self nature. These two types of distortions were impressed upon those already oriented to think these thought-forms.

This eventually led to many challenges of the entity known as Jesus. It eventually led to one, sound vibration complex “Judas,” as you call this entity, who believed that it was doing the appropriate thing in bringing about or forcing upon the one you call Jesus the necessity for bringing in the third-density planetary power distortion of third-density rule over others.

This entity, Judas, felt that, if pushed into a corner, the entity you call Jesus would then be able to see the wisdom of using the power of intelligent infinity in order to rule others. The one you call Judas was mistaken in this estimation of the reaction of the entity, Jesus, whose teach/learning was not oriented towards this distortion. This resulted in the destruction of the bodily complex of the one known as Jesus to you.

What happens in society as all this goes on?

So what happens on the ground level to all of us civilians then as we wait for this to happen? 

There was a section in the Law of One where they were discussing Venus and the source was talking about the troubles that Venus had in properly polarising. On Venus apparently. They didn't have any negative polarity. So people that were naturally negative did not have the ability to polarise in that direction. They just kind of sat there super resentful with... as Ayn Rand called it... "The hatred of the Good". (It was only when two positive wanderers came along and accidentally became negative that they were able to do some real world actions of war making!)

The way the world is working at the moment, it seems to me that the current situation is handling that in some manner.

Imagine if, in 2020 or earlier. We had had the mass arrest that the Q Community was expecting far earlier? The trouble with that issue is that, back then, DEI came directly from the government. You did not have a choice but to comply. If these arrests had happened then. If the DEI Karens that have taken to pathologically shouting that white men should not be hired in their HR departments. Were suddenly confronted with an opposing narrative. They would all proclaim their innocence in all sorts of ways. "I did not ever believe in it. I just had to do it to feed my family". 

The situation as it is working out at the moment. Does have a "Wheat and the Tares" feeling to it. After Trump removed DEI hiring and the entire woke agenda. Corporate America, meaning, the HR departments. Pulled together to make sure it continued. After it came out recently that in America, from about 2020 to 2024 (I think). America hired 94% ethnic minority candidates. After there was outcry about that. In America in August of 2026. They hired 92% female candidates. 

This has the effect I think, of them taking responsibility for the behaviour, and not being able to outsource it to tyranny. 

I think that this is a big reason, behind the scenes, perhaps even, beyond the Q team themselves. That the world is like it is at the moment. The left are divinely ignorant of anything outside an incredibly narrow viewpoint. The world is as it is, so the power dynamics are as they are. So them, the leftist individuals. Can act out of those power dynamics with impunity. They can disrespect anyone that the establishment has deemed to be a legitimate target. 

In the video above by Mark Walsh. He said that leftist friends he had used to have, when he turned away from leftism. Had turned on him viciously. People that had been to his wedding, had known him personally, made hit pieces about him. There is a feral aggression in leftism that the Conservatives do not seem to share. 

This happens in far FAR more subtle ways than HR Karens. People need a certain time in order to reveal their true natures. They need 'enough rope to hang themselves'. Ever broken off with a friend and had regrets about that. Wanted to believe it was a misunderstanding? Then you get on with them again for a while. Then they do exactly the same thing again.

"Oh, it is like that then, that behaviour was deliberate. It was not an error on their behalf! It was not a good natured miscommunication."

"Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me." 

These seem like small decisions. But from a Law of One perspective. Everything being about polarity and morality... Essentially. This is what it's about.  

It is not enough to have a golden age of humanity. It is not for everyone. This is what David Wilcock wanted I think. That a golden age or humanity would arrive and his sins would be wiped clean by it, without him taking any accountability. But the evildoers must be identified. And if there is one common behaviour of evildoers. It is that they refuse accountability. 

Our purpose.

I come back to this. A point that has annoyed me no end. One of the things talked about in the Q posts, mentioned a few times. Is that the people in the Q community should be protecting and nurturing the NPC's who have never asked a question in their lives about this kind of thing. If there were mass arrests and the sudden mass revelation of information. Some of it shocking and malevolent. These people would, assumedly, be shocked.

But I don't know whether this is the only 'catalytic' value of these events. Assumedly, on a deeper level. Committing mind and soul to falsity and then having to have the humility to walk all of that back. Would be a positive thing for spiritual evolution. 

What would be happening in the grand scheme of things. At the higher levels. Is the bringing in of accountability. So logically, this same experience would filter down to the civilian level. 

For this reason. For me, there are some people that I would respond positively to in this circumstance. But at the same time. If the mass arrests were to happen. I consider the benefit of this event to be able to separate from, and not see again, the individuals that have behaved like this.

TV shows embedding messages in us.

A dream I had recently related to a real situation. Something happening in my life at the time. Something that related to politics and so might have related to my sudden lack of enthusiasm for politics. 

But the situation didn't make a lot of sense for a while. Then I got a sudden breakthrough and the dream made sense. It would obviously be better to do it the other way. But this is the way I did it. 

So, in Star Trek Deep Space Nine. There was a character called Odo. Who was a shapeshifter. The Starfleet people, his colleagues obviously. Were at war with an invading army headed by shapeshifters. The shapeshifters generally, did not do any of the fighting. They were like Kings of sorts. They had all the authority.

They also loved Odo a great deal. He was one of them. They had quite a Jewish presentation. They were effectively space Jews that were super evil. So Odo was like one of the 'chosen people' with higher status. So during various war like situations. Odo had an incredible amount of status and such. There were other characters with this same thing. In fact, the show seemed to be made of characters like this. Worf had authority and power with the Klingons. Having interacted with their leadership and being a respected warrior. Garak was a Cardassian. The Shapeshifters and the Cardassians worked together. Even though Garak had no status and would have been put to death by Cardassians, it was a similar dynamic in a sense. He was still closely connected on a personal level to extremely senior Cardassians. 

But, it is in a way an advert for multi culturalism in a sense. Or not even that. It is an advert for the idea that we can all get along with differing viewpoints. The right and the left can get along well.

But, it is not, in fact, the case. I don't think. It's a belief that can slip into your mind while watching one of these types of shows. But the truth is, that if I phoned one of my leftist ex friends. Even previously very close leftist friends. They would not respond to me positively. When Britain landed on the beaches of Germany in 1945. There was no eccentric English poet living in Germany that had authority over the British troops. That could say 'Oh, don't massacre these civilians here. I will just call Churchill and Hitler and we can have a sit down.'

Another little bit of TV programming that I realise has slipped in a bit. One of my issues. That relates to my physical or mental health. Well, it is not quite clear what it is or where it is from. But I previously had a bunch of really dark Hellraiser types of dreams. While I could sleep. I could not sleep properly. I was always tired. Then I got a dream catcher and the nightmares stopped. Recently, I threw it away, and they are back. 

I remember in Stargate. There was a boy born that had the collective knowledge of malevolent entities. This genetic memory was so fierce it made pretty much all of them the worst kind of genocidal psychopaths possible. So this boy, who had been sheltered by an angelic entity. Had his subconscious mind suppressed. 

There was a statement he later made. "The memories held in my subconscious mind are too powerful. The only way to win is to deny it battle". 

This expresses a little bit how I felt about my own subconscious mind. But in fact, there is a great deal to be gained by allowing these nightmares in. They ground me. I focus on real things after one of those nightmares. They are like 'ultra grounding' in a way. All the way back to primal survival senses. They motivate me to tidy so I clean up the dust in case that is it. To exercise in case that helps. 

And I am a very ungrounded person. Dreams that ground me are very valuable!  

So there IS something to be gained from the battle with that kind of darkness. Mostly, it seems to me when things like that are first introduced to us we see the darkness first. Because, the female section of the subconscious mind. The catalyst of the mind. Is attracted to the darkness. I think the term is attracted. Don't quote me on that. But it is something like that from the Law of One. 

There are probably thousands of these types of examples rifling through the subconscious mind from various TV shows. And, we live in the real world. That is very tiring and very boring. One we need frequent physical and psychological rest from. So we will probably continue to absorb various things from these TV shows. 

Follow up, dream catcher.

I talked recently in the article, three blogs ago called 'The Boundary between the Conscious and the Unconscious'. About stopping a dream catcher and having nightmares because of that. 

Before I started using a dream catcher, 15 years ago or so. I was having quite serious nightmares. Now that I have thrown the dream catcher away. I am having said nightmares again. I did have these infrequently while I had the dream catcher up. But I am getting them more frequently and intensely now. And definitely not related to my physical health issues that I have more of a handle on. 

Unlike when I originally had a problem with dreams. There is a huge different in my physical health. And I am more confident in using tools like Prayer and the Law of One if it gets heavy.  

My theory is this. Of the changes I have so far experienced. Of the benefit of the nightmarish dreams:

A) I have suppressed a lot of the mental anguish caused by my physical medical condition. This is just a way of getting through that.

B) I have strange ways of thinking that I think the dreams are trying to correct. I think in a neurodivergent way, I suspect. Sometimes, I don't completely get emotionally, that people exist. I also do not see hierarchy very easily. I look at people responding differently to a person at a different part of the hierarchy in confusion. And the only way I can replicate that is to follow rules very precisely. But in a way that is obviously unusual. I can only partially replicate emotional deference and eggshell walking.

I think the nightmares are trying to put back some of the emotions to do with that. For instance, when I have been bullied before, it has been a little distressing at the time, obviously increased by my medical condition. But there is also an irrelevance to it. A non caring. I think dreams that see people as 'demons' starts to re- experience what I should be experiencing when people are unpleasant. What I would experience if I were emotionally engaged. 

It is the effect of being low status and it also provides a certain fire to improve aspects of my own life that relate to being low status. Things like motivating me to tidy or exercise. I am feeling a strong improvement in my self in this area. More determined to improve myself. 

C) There could also be any other number of things the dreams are trying to encourage or impart. One of these is that in order to understand why I suddenly was not interested in X anymore. I think this is because I had more access to my negative emotions. These then accentuated until I experience 'entropy' in the part of me that was putting out material and engaging with that. 

For instance, I might look into the work of Carl Jung for insight. 

This blog entry has been kind of self focused but... I don't have any more to say on any other subject. Working slowly through the Law of One again and taking more detailed notes. On session 20 at the moment. Also profound insights from dream interpretation.

I am also experiencing a bit of an 'air out of the tyres' effect. One of the only things I have done to significantly effect my viewer count is to stop going on X. My viewers go down significantly when I do that. Which is odd, people don't click on my blog that much when I post it. So people on X must be seeing me and being reminded I exist and going on this blog. 

"Care you not about the counting" - Law of One.  

But I do not have the energy for any politics, or even gender war stuff I also mentioned recently. I will not be going on X again, I don't think. At least not until significant political events happen which mean I need a non MSM angle. I have also not had that many ideas for the blog recently. I seemed to have mega slowed down and when that happens. I often want to post about it so I don't feel a mild sense of guilt if I don't post (for a while or ever again!) But at the same time. Everytime that has happened before to my memory. I have gotten right back to it. It was a "false alarm". 

Throwing away the dream catcher and nightmares have moved me into a different place.