To Communion or not Communion?

One of these issues I am suddenly thinking about a lot. Therefore, this is going to be a long blog post. 

To repeat previous things I have said. I decided not to do Communion after I found out it was likely something that Paul pushed. He came out with it in Corinthians 1:17 in 50 AD, and the gospels were written from 70 AD onwards. 

It was quite clear to me when I stopped doing it that I should stop doing it. 

Since then though. I have struggled with this decision a bit. There seems to be clear benefits to stopping it that I will mention. But it is not clear if these benefits are real or kind of illusory. 

I get up, absolutely sure I should go back to it. Then get on with things and am absolutely sure that I should not do it. I pick up a guitar book and play something and I know that this is what I should put my energy into instead. I note health difficulties and hope to improve these in the best way possible. Via the gym and via just 'pushing through' in a way to a better result. 

Which is what I feel now. Perhaps some analysis here will lead to some sort of answer?

So to start with. Where did the idea of Paul is a false Prophet come from. Aaron Abke? Do I like Aaron Abke? Not really. While I liked him and admired him a great deal to begin with. This is a person that is obsessed with a very destructive diet. A vegan diet. There are a lot of horrible health problems that come with a vegan diet. He has kids, and someone with that fanaticism I don't think will be giving meat to their kids. Even if it is illegal not to do so and babies have died from vegan diets before (and vegan parents jailed, as they should be!)

He also support forgiveness without contrition. This is his answer to all things. Which is just a purely evil idea. He is not someone anyone should be following as any kind of status of a wise person. 

But I said there were positive changes since I have stopped Communion. Haven't I?

OK, let's examine that. 

The insights into things. 

Two that I can think of. When I started Communion. I was embroiled in a very self destructive woman who was involved with someone else I know that is... dangerous to my mind. Like, my best understanding of them is that they are dangerous. The dream I got following doing Communion was of being protected from something demonic in relation to this whole situation, and I immediately disconnected from her mind games and shortly after (six weeks or so) she killed herself. 

The insights I had as soon as I stopped Communion was that her decision to be with this person wasn't a "mistake". "There are no mistakes" as the Law of One says. But it was a legitimate choice. To accept this choice. It seemed to create shifts. 

The second insight I have had recently that I don't think I would have had without the Communion. I have a friend, of a sorts. Who I recently re-contacted. We talked a bit about his life and such and I mentioned my own spiritual beliefs a few times. Then later, I was spending time with him again. He received important news and I had a lot of insight into what his internal world is like. I journalled a bit about what I perceived the cause and effect in his life is (having listened to Stefan Molyneux and such), how he was addressing things and such like that.

Both felt like they could be important insights. But then, from another perspective. They might not be. 

Both of these issues are kind of irrelevant to my life. 

The lessons. 

Reading the Law of One recently I learned, in the very last few sessions Carla's lesson seemed to be that any kind of disharmony. Any kind of viewing of others, even those being obviously manipulative. As other than 'The One Infinite Creator'. Was a blockage of her energy field. Like I said, my communion dream was "This thing here is demonic, get it out of your life". It was very powerful and positive at the time. 

But I wondered, going on the previous Communion thoughts I had (blood magic being black magick as an example!) That what if, based on the above example. The Communion dream had made me see others as separate from myself? It had identified others as demonic as an example. 

This, I think, is a specious argument. While yes, it does add in some information about others having not exactly positive intentions. Possibly being aligned with the negative. The girl killed herself at the end of the day. She was not right in the head, and this is not the actions of someone in contact with positive entities. The balance here is an issue I am not sure about. 

The second example. The friend who had personal issues. Now, my input was to take interest in things like Stefan Molyneux and spiritual things. He was not interested in that. He has... everything mapped out as to how he is going to handle everything. 

In essence. I don't know the value of my journal entry looking into this and the tools that I generally have to meet this. Since coming away from Communion these kinds of thoughts and analysis' have seemed more important to me. What I THINK the Communion would have done is to remove my focus so this guys issues would fall into the background and not be relevant. Just because, like I said, that kind of analysis wasn't so important when I was doing the Communion.

Even though I have previously seen some value in these kinds of analysis. To my mind. Drinking a glass of grape juice and some bread as a ritual that increases the power of my heart chakra. Makes these things fall into the distance and be forgotten and turns my attention more towards the future. Would be a positive thing. 

Music.

I remember various Christians, such as Mike Cernovich, saying that music like Metallica is evil. That it links us subconsciously with demonic things.

I thought that was crap. It happens with a lot of different Christians. Mike Cernovich, the first time I saw him was when he was talking to Stefan Molyneux about his book 'Gorilla Mindset'.  

I disagree with this. Consider this fantastic piece of music. Metallica is amazing. As was Hotel California. This is good music that enriches life:

Youtube: lissiemusic: Lissie - Nothing Else Matters (Metallica Live Cover) - Jan 15th 2011. 

https://youtu.be/0Ia9N9MdSa0?si=qsLUrVRT1qM7ahfh

That is not demonic. But THIS is, in my view:

Youtube: The Axis of Awesome: 4 Chords. Music Videos. The Axis of Awesome: June 20th 2011. 

https://youtu.be/oOlDewpCfZQ?si=5Yy_uLodk60reciR

There is just hypnotic and wrong. It trashes, it devalues, what music is. And pretty much every song that I have heard with these four chords has FELT wrong. It is very popular so I'm sure there are some I still like with this chord progression. But a lot of the main songs. I.e. Journey, have always just felt wrong. 

One of the very concrete benefits I have gotten since stopping the communion is an improvement in my music. This will be something I will be sad to give up. Something that is important to me. 

I started making music which I have not done in a while. I also started working on more guitar techniques which is enjoyable. When I was doing the communion. I didn't do any of that. My ability to make music was stunted. And the thing I enjoyed doing, way more than I enjoy doing now, is playing scales. 

Which is why I bring up that Axis of Awesome video. The massive homogenisation of music. I have made songs with those chords without knowing it. Including some that I value greatly and have powerful meaning. 

The idea of playing scales might be something I am using subconsciously to break out of that four chord pattern. It might be, in a way, increasing my musical talent. Slowly learning keys and such to overcome the tendency towards stupid chord playing. Whereas, cashing out now, making music at the level of skill I am on now. Might be less preferable to me. 

Other effects.

There are other general effects I am experiencing that seem to me to be due to this. I do not think I would recover more quickly from surgery if I were doing Communion. But I do feel a sense of not being able to "fill myself up" with energy again. 

I feel a sense of boredom in a lot of the things I used to find interesting. This may be health related. I am more tired than normal. But it feels like there is an element of energetics too. 

The Law of One gave information about Communion in Session 64.4. I am not ultimately sure about Jesus, Paul, or Communion itself. But I do feel that now the Law of One has justified Communion as a legitimate white magick ritual. That it comes under a different 'purview' of sorts. Blood magick being negative and such. Well this isn't blood. It is not draining a sheep like some sort of halal ritual. It is literally just bread and grape juice. 

So, I'm probably going to go back to it now. I do not have a clear idea on this yet. But I am going to buy some grape juice today. 

In my Communion, I sit there with bread and juice and light a candle. I open a word document. A journal I use for this moment. And I note down things that come to me. In my last Communion, which I was looking at in thinking all this through. I did something I have never done before. I wrote random words that didn't make sense to me. One of them on searching was German, the other two were highly relevant, specific and significant. 

I also feel a sense of headiness. A sense of my energy being higher in my body. There is more I have to say on this. More thoughts I have. But for the moment that's where I'll leave it. 

Vexing spiritual issues.

At the moment. I have had a surgical procedure. I thought it would be a normal procedure. I imagined it as being fairly easy. Like, they would put a tube in me and I would be upright and chatting fine, but the actual procedure itself was more serious than that.

For this reason. I am low on energy. Sleeping 12 hours and even outside of that, on top of the 12 hours; laying about, and not even watching TV sometimes. 

I just watched a livestream by Bryson Grey. In which he is discussing his faith and what he has discerned from the bible. It made the case that a problem during the time after Jesus' time. Expressed in Romans 1-4. Was that the Jews of the time were trying to make the case that only Jews had received the blessings of God through Jesus. And Paul was trying to make the case his words applied to everyone. Also, quite explicitly. Paul talking about salvation through works. Not faith. 

Throws a bit of a spanner in the works. It doubts the idea I have had thus far as Paul being a false prophet. If Paul was responding to unhealthy ideologies amongst Jesus' followers... Then it puts him in a more positive light. I still have the information from what I have absorbed via Aaron Abke. But it is interesting nonetheless. And it casts a bit of doubt on the idea that it is best to stop communion. 

I am vexed. 

I wonder if the best way to actually understand this all is to actually read the bible and see what I think. I have read parts. I remember reading Acts. That I thought was hysterical. Because it basically involved the Disciples setting up a kind of Commune and... I kid you not... Killing people in a kind of Darth Vader fashion that didn't donate enough to it. This is directly in the text. I didn't get it off a youtuber. But perhaps reading a larger part of it. Corinthians. Romans etc. To see what general message I get from these things. Would solve some of these issues. 

I am in a slump. Perhaps this theological slump has arrived at the same time as the energy one for a reason. That I can think these things through. I am not praying. I need a bit of energy to pray. I am enjoying the gym far less. Which is annoying. Meditation feels great. It feels like I am getting a bit of energy back slowly. But like I said, I am in a "slump". The surgery felt like a bit of a "violation", and I feel I have picked up a kind of sadness. 

What the Law of One really means?

From the Law of One book 5. Fragment 55:

Apparently, if Carla had chosen to meet difficulties in
completing our lease agreement with our landlord by allowing a feeling of
separation from him to occur or had allowed this same feeling of separation
to grow for Don as he hemmed and hawed about what house to choose in
Atlanta, that allowing of separation of self from other-self could have been
energized by our negative friend until her self was separated from her
physical vehicle, and her incarnation would have been at its end. She had to
deal with our landlord, who had numerous requirements for our leaving
that he felt justified in making, and with Don’s mental condition, which
was beginning to show further signs of the long-term stress to mind and
body that commuting and worrying about his job had brought about.

So here we get to the very end. The Penultimate "Fragment" in the last book of the Law of One. And we finally get a direct understanding of what the Law of One actually means in the real world. We finally get a real definition relevant to the real world. 

I had not completely understood or known what it meant and in truth. I read the Law of One because of all it's wisdom. Not because I am consciously trying to learn the Law of One per sey. But in thinking through what it meant, I did not have a clear idea. I did wonder if Stefan Molyneux's Universally Preferable Behaviour. Which relies on Universality, and kind of "is" the Law of One might be relevant. As though it was not a 'felt' thing, but a kind of guideline to start off theoretical, philosophical and theological concerns. But that's not what this line is saying. 

Jims casual description of "that he felt justified in making". Makes me think that the requirements were not justified. That they were dealing with someone that was quite unpleasant. I have always felt very strongly, as I am sure that most of us do. That people that do negative things, that I define as negative of course. Deserve pushback, and that this is a good thing. 

It is probably the same situation for most people. It is probably a single learning. But it is not completely clear that say... Don would have experienced the 'lesson' in the same way. We learned from the moment that Don and Carla swapped energies temporarily. That Don did contain a whole lot of energy that was a lot tougher that he just generally carried. Don was also referenced as getting in arguments a bit more without suffering health problems at the same time. So it could be that because Carla is a 'love' person, that she experienced this, but Don as a 'wisdom' person, would experience the whole thing differently?

Nevertheless, these sessions are still giving me things to think over. 

Questioner: What would that be?

Ra: I am Ra. Firstly, we would suggest that possibility/probability vortices include those in which the entity known as Gandalf has a lengthier incarnation. Secondly, we would suggest that this entity goes to a graduation if it desires. Otherwise, it may choose to reincarnate to be with those companions it has loved. Thirdly, the entity known to you as Betty has the means of making the entity more distorted towards comfort/discomfort.

Carla mentions this in the write up before. She states that her new cat she feels is the reincarnation of the last one. The Law of One contact would seemed to have confirmed that. I have seen someone else mention this on the forum. That her new dog seemed to recognise her and have the same habits as a previous dog. 

My family dog. We have had three. The first was a female Staffy. English Staffy. The second was a kind of wolf. The third is an American Staffy. 

I had dreams. Very specific dreams about something the American Staffy had experienced and how it effected her before she came to the family. I was quite interested that the forces behind the dream. The higher forces of some description. Actually cared about the psychology of a dog. The Law of One does make small references to higher entities caring about this. 

I believe, since we can't really understand what goes on in the life between lives. Time/ space, as the Law of One calls it. That it is very unhealthy to make defined statements about it. There is no grounding in saying that someone was this or that past life. It also leads the door open to people that would attempt to use that kind of mystical thinking for fraudulent means. Rather like David Wilcock. Who told everyone about frequent mystical experiences to prove any particular thing he wanted to prove. Such as that he was a messiah or that Corey Goode was legit. 

Staring at the dog the other day I contemplated how someone would know such a thing. How they would experience the world if they could perceive such a thing.

Specific insights. 

Anyway, the particular insight I had, the particular part of my life where I was like "I should think of this person in a more service to others manner". It directly, directly opposed the insight I had from strong dreams when I started Communion about four years ago. I have talked recently about this. The Communion insight I had came from a kind of dream I have identified as perhaps negative. Altogether too clear. Altogether too direct. It fed into the worst instincts that I took from reading the Law of One. The idea that this or that negative thing is destroying a situation. That it (as well as people) needs to be guarded against. 

It also fed directly into the delusions David Wilcock was spouting at the time about being abducted by Reptilians. 

I have a continued question, and that question is this: In relation to all these spiritual things. I am really waiting, wanting one that feeds directly into the real world. Just a thing, where there is some sort of click and it effects the real world. 

The Law of Attraction makes this claim. I have never really liked the Law of Attraction. These insights are doing that in a way. But I wonder if that is the thing that creates a click into the real world. The insight I have just had into my relationships. Does that feed meaningfully into future ones? I think it probably does. 

Law of One learning. The messiness of life.

At the moment. A big part of my spiritual path is fairly simple. I read the Law of One. Then when I am finished with reading the Law of One. I read it again! 

I went through it a few months ago on www.lawofone.info. I am reading it via the books at the moment. Reading the Law of One book 5 and the commentary is very useful. Very powerful. Then I will read it again when I am done with the last two 'fragments' in book 5. On the third go through I will read it via www.llresearch.org. Apparently the most updated reading. And I will write a bit, probably personally in a kind of journal. So I can think over and learn slowly each session. 

After that, I will be able to put together a concise view of what the Law of One actually advises people to be doing in the real world. I already have meditation and affirmations, and, secondarily, in a Law of One telling. Prayer. But precisely what is advised and where in the book that is said. Advising on where my own interpretation is. I think would be useful. 

At the moment, I am, in line with other things I have talked about here. Other 'learnings'. Learning to relax a lot of the ideas of self defence, and which kind of jump off into illusion.

Two ways this has been happening. One is that, I got an idea from session 25. That when I feel screwed over by something. When I feel there is something negative. I can send love and this will work against the person doing the thing against me. Like a kind of karma.

I realise though, that this is kind of delusional. The discussion of the spiritual "war" in session 25. There just isn't enough to go on. Yesterday, I was in a situation that annoyed me and I felt like I should use a tool such as that. But I realised it was kind of crap. It is not quite clear what reality things such as 'sending love' has. In either a positive or more conflict based application. But there is not a lot of objective evidence for it. So for me, actually accepting my powerlessness in that moment. It really seems to work a lot better. Things 'flow' from that place. 

Also, another thing came up. I have worn this pendant for about five years:

Prosteel 7 Archangels Pendant. If you are interested. 

I looked it up. That is Hebrew writing, not Arabic. I am pretty sure there are no errors on this pendant to the effect of naming a negative entity or anything like that. But all the same. It is something that I am slightly worried about. 

I also wear an Ankh that I will keep wearing.

The point is is that since I have read the Law of One. I have felt more and more, that the protective positive energy that I am seeking is felt inside me. Not so much in these outer types of things:

Like in this tarot image how, earlier ones had a bird in the outer sense. But when you get to the experience. The outer bird changes to part of the persons clothing. As though it became inner. I take the cat in the box to be something like this is where the need for animalistic power becomes acknowledged. Rather like all the Neitzsche ideas. Although animalistic power is more relevant in real terms to the archetypes of the body, in my view (the body equivalent of this archetype is literally "strength"). This is where it gets cognitively acknowledged. 

The only other thing that strikes me. Is that, while a lot of this is a very powerful and interesting 'background'. One of the really powerful places to get insights... "Next level" insights. Is the human design. Where a lot of this kind of stuff gets dumped right into the messy reality of everyday life. You can see peoples flaws in the human design. Peoples contradiction. I have a whole section of a little book of mine acknowledging interesting hexagrams, which talk about things that just sound terrible. But if they are part of the design then they are nevertheless part of Gods plan. I.e. David Wilcocks Sun, Gate 22.2: The tendency of the self to delude oneself and others. 

But, looking through peoples designs when they behave in certain ways does bring a whole lot of clarity. here is mine with the planets taken out (I have an instinct towards privacy):

I have had an insight into my human design, and how it relates to the conflict I have experienced in my life. 

In my conscious Jupiter. Which is kind of like our spiritual message to the world. Is in gate 3.4. What I do here is a lot to do with gate 3. Gate 3 is a 'mutation'. It is called 'difficulty at the beginning'. Because it takes a long time to learn an entirely new way of thinking. 

It responds to gate 60. Which is 'limitation'. Gate 60 is a real thorn in peoples side and anyone that has it, has a chip on their shoulder. In my experience.

The thing with the gate 60 is that it DOESN'T have the answer. So if someone has the whole channel. Gate 60-3. They might experience the problem and slowly find an answer. But if someone has gate 60 hanging, then they have the problem, and no answer. 

Then there is me, that has the gate 3 hanging. I have the answers. But these are not answers that a lot of people want to hear. Meditation. The Law of One. And especially philosophy and where this relates to political ideas. These are inconvenient things for people. 

This explains a great deal of things that have happened in my life. I am not saying that my expression of gate 3 is "perfect". I would say that it was probably overly politicised and had a tendency towards 'transcient' information. Picked up when transiting Uranus went over my conscious Jupiter. 

Adding this all together makes a real life confusing mix. But you can have people with gate 60 hanging that want to monopolise what they think the answer should be. Or two people with the hanging gate 3 where there is some sort of subtle conflict about something to do with said answer. Or someone with the entire channel that just won't co operate. They are still in their 'difficulty at the beginning', phase. 

It brings a far more useable paradigm I think. With potential actual answers. Than terms like "narcissist" or anything like that.  

The invisible laws.

Not much to say, recovering from surgery. It was technically just a procedure. But it was quite a bit worse than I was expecting. It was not made clear to me what this was going to be like. 

I have gone back on all my things of self discipline. Caffeine free pepsi max. Alcohol (Stayed awake 34 hours last night, I needed it! But I think alcohol is less damaging when I am not having it for communion. The weekly top up of poison was never good I don't think.) 

But it is over. I was afraid of that procedure subtly. Subconsciously. For a long time. It is amazing how our subconscious has this subtle grip over us. 

The last thing I was thinking about from the Law of One was this:

Questioner: The instrument has determined that the unwise use of her will is its use without the joy and faith components and constitutes martyrdom. Would Ra comment on that, please?

Ra: I am Ra. We are pleased that the entity has pondered that which has been given. We would comment as follows. It is salubrious for the instrument to have knowledge which is less distorted towards martyrdom and which is rich in promise. The entity which is strong to think shall either be strong to act or that which it has shall be removed. Thus manifestation of knowledge is an area to be examined by the instrument.

We would further note that balancing which, in this entity’s case, is best accomplished in analysis and manifestation seated with the contemplation of silence, may be strengthened by manifested silence and lack of routine activity. We may go no further than this recommendation of regularized leisure, and desire that the entity discover the fundamental truths of these distortions as it will.

A kind of use it or lose it proposition. A kind of frightening proposition. I often am taken down by health issues and I forget things I want to do. Like music practice or meditation. I wonder if my social skills meaningfully atrophy in relative isolation. I am sure a lot of people have similar fears in this busy life. 

Two thoughts I have had from this. One which is generally social. One which is personal. 

This is not the first time that the Law of One information has highlighted some subtle spiritual law and I have wondered how this effects people in the day to day. I imagine there is a great many of these. This one is more obvious and grounded. If we do not use something obviously it will atrophy. But there are others that are more subtle, and apparently, very powerful. 

For instance, if you imagine how divorced guys, sometimes don't seem to take much of a breath. Don't fall out with the whole 'marriage' thing, and are married again within a few years. I wonder, if there is a law like this that needs to be satisfied? Like, with that example. Maybe the guy has a lot of love to express and cannot do that if he is prevented from doing so with his ex wife. Perhaps there are other supports that are not available. 

Then rather than what a person commenting might assume he should do. Like, analyse his past or something to come to better decisions. Actually, the energy itself is compelling just jumping into the next thing. Like, imagine this person was fourth density, as an example?

I wonder sometimes a lot of things like this. There were various times when a thing became compulsive due to universal laws. Like the fifth density negative entity eventually flipping positive. Because Entropy was compelling it. 

Reading enough of the Law of One, and backing that up with the Human Design. I have often come to the conclusion that we have very, very little ability to change the world from... exactly what it is. 

I wonder how many past events this relates to? Like, does it relate to previous relationships and things. Was one of my parents compelled into something by some invisible law that still can't be understood or identified? Not even events. Emotions. Other things?

And personally. 

I write this as I am, like I said, recovering from surgery. I do feel like I am in a bit of a mess. No prayer, no meditation etc. My routine is off. So I might not be able to apply this. 

But for me personally. I realise my most valued skill is my creation of music.  

I realise that half an hour playing music, with no TV on or anything. Has a really strong, positive, effect. I often used to play scales and other things with the TV on. Complex guitar skills. But playing in silence is my connection to the higher forces I did not know I had access to. 

The male path.

This is my thoughts on 'the male process'. It could be both male and female. But I can't speak with any knowledge on female mechanics. 

Since stopping Communion. I have felt my energy as a lower energy than it used to be. The idea of Communion to me very much linked me to this kind of imaginary, heart chakra kind of thinking. This mysterious idea that I am being guided along in line with this, directed from some higher plane.

When I was doing Communion. I felt like I couldn't fully access my 'anger'. But I felt it important to access said anger. It was, in a way, my goal. Not one consciously decided. But a goal none the less. My idea at the time was that if I did exercise. It would reveal deeper layers where the anger sat. Like, things would clear then I would access other thoughts, feeling and with that, anger. 

But since stopping Communion. I have felt more in touch with that anger. 

The Law of One talks about how men have physical energy:

Questioner: Would you do that?

Ra: I am Ra. You are correct in assuming that the energy of which we speak in discussing sexual energy transfers is a form of vibratory bridge between space/time and time/space. Although this distinction is not apart from that which follows, that which follows may shed light upon that basic statement.

Due to the veiling process the energy transferred from male to female is different than that transferred from female to male. Due to the polarity difference of the mind/body/spirit complexes of male and female the male stores physical energy, the female mental and mental/emotional energy. When third-density sexual energy transfer is completed the male will have offered the discharge of physical energy. The female is, thereby, refreshed, having far less physical vitality. At the same time, if you will use this term, the female discharges the efflux of its stored mental and mental/emotional energy, thereby offering inspiration, healing, and blessing to the male which by nature is less vital in this area.

At this time may we ask for one more full query.

So here, men have more physical energy. Women have more mental/ emotional energy.

How does that manifest? Stefan Molyneux, talks about how men have a different perspective because they perform a different function in the tribe. For men, if they go out and do any work in the physical. Like logging or something. The real world becomes very relevant. There is no political tract you can use to convince the log to move. You have to load it onto a truck. This is why men tend to see things objectively and not think that situations are modifiable by talking through it. 

There is a lot more that goes into this. Men do not have the status that women naturally gain from their beauty and "cuteness". But I won't go into that. 

The point is that since stopping the Communion. I am a lot more aware of my physical energy and a lot more able to get on with things like going to the gym. I went yesterday. I am making gains where I wasn't before (there are other changes in my life). And I only want to get back to the gym. I went yesterday. Gymmed hard. And I feel like I want to go again now. Even though, physically I would not be able to. I have that physical tension that relates to wanting to do exercise. 

What I think of as my process is that I have a bunch of grudges. A bunch of things that have annoyed me about the past and the present. To exercise it feels like I am completely cleaning them from my system. It is as though I am using the pure energy from the anger to strengthen my body. The increase in the strengthening of the body is, like I have talked about previously. The 'acceptance' in the Law of One discussion about understanding, acceptance, and forgiveness. Forgiveness being one I have not explored yet. 

My grudges:

All of this was thought through yesterday. Because none of it is still relevant to me today, emotionally (Because I feel great from the gym). But as I sit there, I often think through my grudges. And those grudges seem to feed into creating this angst and thus, physical energy. 

But these grudges are not insignificant. Due to a physical medical condition. I kind of had some strange thoughts and feeling when I was young. But some of the difficulty I had with others was simply because I am not left wing in this heavily left wing town. 

Nevertheless, my entire twenties and a bit later was spent going around from one place to another being uniquely socially ostracised from each place. My first workplace, was amongst peers and such when I was in my late teens through early twenties. All of them, I mean, all of them would socialise together and I was kept out of it. It took me more than a decade to realise this had happened. 

This has happened with some friends which, when I later, a decade later, met up with them realised I got on with very well. I did have some time in University. Then I had an office job where the same thing exactly happened for two years. I was uniquely socially ostracised. Everyone came into the office and socialised with the people there, and I was the one who was not. With whom a lot of the women specifically would make this clear by talking to me normally then not even saying hello. 

To get away from these kinds of people. I spent a lot of time in fast food with people that were foreign. There was one other office job which I will not go into. But the staff, mostly 20 year old girls, were nice. I was quite ill. 

I did have a brief friendship with a woman who then killed herself.  

These potential opportunities are things for which I have a dislike for all the people involved. I would not say 'hate'. Because the Law of One and it's vibe, and my spirtuality and such. But I feel entitled to acknowledge that these peoples behaviours was in fact what it was.

I am now more well, I was very ill through some of this. But I have lacked the earlier years of establishing myself. Now I am a lot older. Socialising with 20 year old girls would give me "creepy uncle" energy. There is no way to get back what could have potentially been... But been with who? All these people hated me.

I do not know the solution to any of this. I am also not saying that I am uniquely in a bad place. I know that other people also are. It is unlikely to be that I gain any kind of status that would make any of these people regret their behaviour. In an ideal world I suppose, or not ideal that is for God to decide. But as a potentially interesting thought. I would gain in some sort of manner and these people would suffer the pain of envy. 

This whole discussion reminds me of this line:

Questioner: Now, is there— the two areas then that the instrument can look to for curing this problem… I understand that the yellow-ray blockage problem has completely repaired, shall I say. If this is not correct, could you make suggestions on that, please?

Ra: I am Ra. Each entity must, in order to completely unblock yellow ray, love all which are in relationship to it, with hope only of the other-selves’ joy, peace, and comfort.

It will be a long time before I wish those people any particular happiness. But I suppose those people are technically not "in relationship to me".

There might be a way to root around it emotionally. To find the relevant or interesting rules that can then be used to my advantage. For instance, I figure these people have, at all times, exercised their freedom of association. And if I were to get in a good place. I could then fully exercise mine, as they have done. 

But it is good fuel. The idea that I apply my physical energy into life. That I am who I am without the imposition of other, inappropriately "loving" ideas.  

Q Stuff.

The Communion insight has given me such a change in my way of being. That I will not talk about spiritual subjects in this blog. I did crave to do the Communion yesterday. But there are many things. Including my own arguments. Even arguments that I have not put on this blog. That go against it. 

At the moment. I am in a lack of clarity. I have a theory, based on my own theories, and some thoughts on 'entropy'. That the gym will sort this out. I will go again tonight. My understanding of the Law of One's entropy is that sometimes, what was one emotion can burst into several conflicting emotions. I feel that exercise can bring these back into harmony and coherence again. 

So for this reason I will make this a political/ Q type of post. 

The political social media:

Going on X is just politics after politics. The theme of "two tier policing" comes up again and again in the UK. Currently doing the rounds is a video where black kids start punching a white kid. A police woman steps in and hits the white kid and he punches her back before seeing she is a police officer. The female police officer then arrests the boy and talks down to him. Insulting him and such. The police force involved is now charging the teenager and saying the woman did no wrong, and telling the public not to share the footage. 

When I first got into all this stuff. Back in the Mid 2010's. I remember reading how, with the grooming gangs. Two your girls had been kidnapped and used sexually by Pakistani gangs. The fathers of these girls turned up and took the girls home. The police turned up and took the girls back to the Pakistani gangs. 

It makes me think of what we are being "shown" at this point. The American establishment. The White House. Has been Q posting for 11 days straight now. Pictures from the drops. Mentioning Q. Etc. 

What it seems to be at the moment is that the liberal establishment is just running away uncontrolled on an insane power grab. The whole thing has become very obvious. But not, to most of the UK population. That are left wing and just don't go on X. They simply avoid most of this information. 

In America, not that long ago. The Biden regime was doing a similar thing. Just openly doing things like suing States for closing their borders while machete wielding gang members flooded across it. Open crime on the streets in left wing states. I was losing faith in Q by the time the election came along. I assumed it would be rigged in favour of the Democrats. Then, at what felt like the 11th hour, when all hope was lost. Where the Democrats would have declared an open war on Russia and dragged the planet into World War 3. Trump won. Not only did he win. But the Q comms had given the exact result. And a coded, but extremely specific, reference to the day it would be relevant. (This is on my other laptop. I have posted it before) 

The Good Paradigm. 

This is the paradigm that Q people believe in. Yes, the liberals are being given a certain amount of rope to run around causing chaos. But there is some sort of plan that is being managed by the positive forces behind this all.

What the point of this might be, is that the police are completely captured. Episodes like this show that the police cannot be used to sort Britain out and it explains why more severe measures, like military intervention or some other thing. Might be needed in the future?

Martin Geddes talks about this. He tried to go the legal route against Council Tax and revealed, to his telling. That it is all illegal. That there is no official court process where Council Tax is concerned. The Council creates documents that do not go through the actual judiciary. And they rent the court rooms for this purpose. 

But Martin, when he challenged the Council from this perspective. He did not get anywhere. If you think about it. The power the state has is simply the co operation of the citizens making up the police and such. In this situation. Martin said that the police co operated with this process, even though it was not legal. And that he got nowhere. 

His take away, as he is a Q person, is that he was being shown that we cannot do it ourselves. The system is too stacked against us. That we had to know we can't do it ourselves to be able to accept whatever change must eventually come. 

Takeaway.

It is all a bit mad. All a bit "Full David Wilcock". 

Youtube: Movie Clip: Tropic Thunder (5/10) Movie Clip - Never Go Full Retard: October 11th 2011:

https://youtu.be/X6WHBO_Qc-Q?si=sinsvSQq9kNxbBpZ

I wrote a blog previously on this subject and brought in a bit of the astrology on it. I was thinking over the human design change we are apparently going to go through in February of 2027 that is said to have something to do with our 'need for resources'. That it will effectively switch that part off in our energy fields. 

I do believe it is possible to sort all of this stuff out with one step only. That would be, the fixing of the money system. The system we have is only possible if you print money out of nothing. If you can print money out of nothing, you can give it to systems which don't have a return. (The left in general)

During only a small window where the US had a gold standard. Almost all of the technology we have today was begun. Even though this was the late 1800's. Even the internet, the bare bones of it was laid during this time. I think this is because when you have money that is truly worth something. It immediately enforces a meritocracy. Once you have a meritocracy. You tend to get people with sanity amassing resources. Once that happens. These people influence the society in sane ways. 

It's a nice though. But much like my experiences with Communion at the moment. Without real depth and research, and real belief. That I don't really have. It doesn't feel all that powerful and coherent. But I think it is something worth considering.