The perfection including dysfunction as found in the human design. (Part 2).

So, following on from my last blog post. I will continue just generally talking about human design lines that I think show potentially dysfunctional themes. But, in the end, are still perfect. None of these will be from my own chart.

We intimately know our own charts. It is something that I think we can speak with the most authority on. So consider these next points more in the line of a "fictional character". Like, I can make observations on peoples lives and think through human design lines logically. But I will not have the depth of understanding as I do with a line of my own as I have seen it go through my own chart (assuming I am correct on my own chart!)

13.2:

Bigotry: The risk, always present, that fellowship can only exist for a patricular type, whether racial, religious, national or intellectual.Exaltation: Tolerance as the least offensive manifestation of bigotry. A role of openness through tolerance. Detriment: The obsessive belief that the highest ideals cannot be embraced by the lowest forms. An extremely difficult position, where even the highest ideals provide rationalisation for hatred. A role of openness so narrow that there is practically no one worth listening to. 

So, this line is to do with, I would say. Someone that is destined, through their very chart. To be politically concerned. This seems to me... counterintuitive. But I have a friend with this line who has sent me messages that he did not like I was bringing up right wing points. "Bigotry" is when someone simply believes they're right. They simply are right because they exist. Bigotry in the promotion of moderation though? It is simply a pathological belief that nothing outside the centre of politics should exist.

Like I say. An actual line in a chart that involves someone with political concerns is almost outside my imagination. I imagine them as only using the exaltation; but, to be technically correct they do not have it specifically in exaltation or detriment. It is almost like a line you would expect for someone that lives in a very political environment (my town is highly political). But who has designed a life where they want to be able to get on with a lot of people. They insist that the centre ground, where people can meet, is the only thing that is legitimate. Because if they did not have "bigotry" for that centre ground. Someone else would muscle in on taking the centre stage. Of sharing their own political vision. 

22.2:

Charm School: The belief that style can mask nature: Exaltation: The ability to successfully delude oneself and others. 

David Wilcock, in his conscious Sun! 

Hidden in Plain Sight did the most beautiful tribute to David. I really want to download that video. But I do not have X premium. It was not put on youtube likely because the copyright laws are too stringent. Anyway, if you search on X "@thehiddenpod tribute" you will find it. (Every single time, no matter how many times I see it, and hence, how much I am expecting it; David saying "As a cis gendered, heterosexual male" in his pink shirt cracks me up!)

But yeah, David is a case where it went badly wrong. We can be sure that his life did not work out well according to his true self. But this was his path. Even though he was what he was. He was a crazy person who talked about crazy and (mostly) incorrect things, and really believed them. We can see from this line that he was somehow meant to be that.

It is likely this line was meant to work out better and things were never meant to get so bad that he killed himself. But with this line we can see the basic structure of his life. With the incorrectness included. Is contained in his chart. 

37.5:

Love: Natural and unaffected devotion to the family. Natural Harmony and Perfect Sharing. natural harmony and sharing possible through friendship. Detriment: Emotional dependency that often turns love into hatred. The possibility of dependency turning love into hatred. 

This was talked about in the video in the first part. A line which is literally about "love". The person in my life, or that was in my life, with this line has both the detriment and exaltation. But the exaltation is not interesting. There is no mystery as to how that can fit into a well planned Godly life. The detriment though we can creatively talk about. 

I realise I have to couch a lot of this conversation in terms of 'past life planning' and higher self kind of stuff. I had planned in the intro to mention that. To say that the Law of One passages that talk about that I am taking on faith for this blog. I did not put that in the intro but I am just saying that here. 

But lets imagine... Women. And we will imagine Carla Rueckert. The Law of One states that most of us are here learning lessons (arguably that might not be the case if someone is harvestable to their following density, but it might still be. Carla being sixth density was not there yet I don't think).

Since we know that Carla, the channel for the Law of One. Had got most stuff right. Not everything. But a lot of things. What might we consider is Carla's next place to go in her study of the Law of One?

Well, I recall Carla had a very strong belief in the primacy of women and the female perspective. A perspective that llresearch has continued with and that many modern spiritual places do hold. One example of this is that I recall Carla saying that when women put on revealing clothes. This was only to relate to their friends and she disliked men saying otherwise. She was also proudly left wing. Remarking once that her town had bucked her states (Texas') right wing tide. 

In the current world. If Carla were to have been born again. If a lot of blissed out loving creatures in the ether were to incarnate. I would say, that the temptation to see women and loving tendencies as more the Creator than men would be extremely powerful.

Our modern world has provided the environment to teach this lesson. The primacy of the female and loving perspective in a way that was pushed back on several times in the Law of One material itself. 

I would imagine that this line would provide a great deal of teaching in this area. A woman, desired by the world. Where many people desire to 'possess' her has many choices as to who she will love and who she will not. With this line, that particular issue becomes very energised. It becomes obvious whom she does not love. And she does have to use the option of rejecting love in some circumstances. 

My super cerebral chart. Outside some obvious people. In general, it is not strongly understood how I feel about people. (I have no hexagrams on the solar plexus). When I do explain things. It comes with a highly measured, philosophical bent. One that most people probably wouldn't guess at.

Gate 37 is on the emotional centre. It does not follow the practised logic of many of the other centres. 

So if a person were to have that catalyst. And a woman. Then it would provide the catalyst of having their inner viewpoints. Deeply held ones. Like that the female perspective is more prized by the Creator than the male perspective. This would manifest in the world and would receive pushback. It would potentially receive consequence. So then that's when that deeply held belief could be evaluated. 

Imagine the power of a powerful consequence arriving in life from these thoughts and behaviours! Like being strategically challenged over the long term by an intelligent person in the real world. Imagine how difficult it would be to challenge this incredibly subtle emotional preference in a higher density! Where everyone is blissed out and the idea of rejecting love to learn a lesson is the most unthinkable heresy, or a concept that cannot be articulated. Cannot be thought at all. 

I imagine this is a fairly strong lesson in the world today.  

Conclusion.

I do have other interesting lines. Line 18.5. Line 47.6. But I think that is enough for now. I am not sure if I will write another post with interesting lines or if I will talk a bit more about my own chart and finish this small series.

For me, one of the overall points I am trying to make though is that these hexagrams, these parts of the human design, they show that the difficulties we have with others are sometimes part of Gods plan. There are even more outrageous hexagrams in the human design. There is a hexagram where a person never takes responsibility and always blames others (4.5).

Where this brings us to real spiritual evolution. I believe. Is that to accept these things. Acceptance is hugely important. It is one of the most important things for the service to others in the Law of One. To see something as dysfunctional as some of these things and to understand its place. To not rail against it. Well, that is a positive I believe! 

Just a small note. This was not intentional. But we can see quite a clear delineation here with Power, in the 13.2. Wisdom in the 22.2. And Love, in the 37.5. 

The perfection including dysfunction as found in the human design. (Part 1).

My last blog was kind of intense. It felt like it gave me a kind of grounding to acknowledge everything that was said in that post. I will address it at the end of this blog;

This is todays video:

Youtube: Dharma Science Radio: Bearing My Cross - Healthy Masculinity Through Human Design: 13th of January 2025:

https://youtu.be/356wKlFJKg4?si=mhd1HGvd_2wtQWTR

I might need to go back over this video. Even though I have listened to the entire thing. And not posted here until I had done so. I cannot massively recall everything said. The wisdom of the human design is not drawn together into a central structure always. You are not fed the macro picture and meaning like you are in philosophy (something I am really enjoying recently!) A lot of it is 'this is all this profound information on the nature and minutea of what is'. Now go put it together.

But Human Design doesn't like you using the mind too much. So put it together without using your mind! That's a joke. (But told by whom?)

I do recall though, probably everything I need. The video starts off with him reading his own chart and talks about how he experiences his not self. The undefined centres in a chart really get played by the world a bit when the person does not have their awareness. This is interesting to perhaps later understand my own undefined centres. 

As I have said before. I do not completely connect with the idea of the not self. I prefer to look at the chart as to how this or that problem plays it. The not self is "too vague". But maybe some value can be extracted from it. 

Anyway, a thing that comes up again and again when he is talking about the chart is all the lines where something is shown as less than ideal if you read it out. But once it plays out in the life it makes absolute, total sense. 

Human Design Profundity.

For me, this is a really profound part of the human design. It is one of the more profound facts I know about anything. Because so many of these lines explain things that I have so many problems with. Some of these lines are... tragic. 

I still do believe there is something that 'goes wrong' in charts that you can see sometimes - which I have only seen in the most dysfunctional people. This is when you can see a pattern kind of planned by the universe that didn't happen. But there is unquestionably a side that feels nasty, dysfunctional or confusing sometimes. Something that contradicts how you think the world should work. And it is RIGHT THERE in the chart. 

I will explain a few of those lines in my own chart. Then I will go into a few that I have observed in the world. Then I will go into a part of my chart that might have related to that previous blog post. 

Three right facing arrows in my chart. 

Anyway, 

Gate 21.2 (exaltation): 

Might is right: The legitimacy of action in response to flagrant and persistent interference. Powerful and extreme reaction. Here, the severest action will be the most successful. The legitimate rejection of interference on the material plane. 

Backed up also by 7.1 

This makes me sound like a really hard person willing to walk over other people. Maybe that's true in a sense, I do not know. As I have not had the opportunity to express that part of myself. I haven't been given "political power", so to speak. But the way it manifests with me in my estimation is that I push to create music. When you create music. It is very anti politically correct. Because you don't have that much control over what comes out. "I have the right to resent you" was one of my recent songs. And in the past, they have been very dark. 

Sometimes though, they are not dark. But you think they will be dark before you write them. Sometimes they have creepy ancient metaphors in them, towers and demonic priests. But like I said, sometimes they are just horrible. Saying exactly all the angry (but true and justified) feelings you feel and in order to make music. This line I feel, allows me to push into that. It allows me to push into music creation where denying this, suppressing it in any way. Would just completely stop the music at all. 

Gate 45.4 (detriment)

Direction: The tendency to try to influence the direction of a group for personal benefit. The lack of expression of higher principles on the material plane. 

Also I think, linked strongly with 4.1. (Which is a kind of skeptical thinking)

This, doesn't completely sound like me does it? But also, in some other way, it sounds very like me. My blog is very spiritual. It does not sound like I am lacking higher principles. But at the same time. There is definitely a side of me that does that. There is a very grounded element that is kind of skeptical and selfish.

This is perhaps because there are two channels into the throat. The 11-56 IS very spiritual. This is probably where all the Law of One, and a good part of the Human Design stuff is happening. The 21-45, here focusing on the 45 is carrying a different message. 

It combines with the 4.1. to create a focus on the real world. In a very practical and economic/ political and philosophical kind of way (as in philosophy like Ayn Rand that leans right). Here, there is no expression of the ego wanting to help the other in any way. It is about having clarity in how to deal with the world and others and recognising it as a selfish place often. It brings a level of reality to an otherwise very cerebral chart. 

Gate 51.1 (detriment, twice):

Reference: The advantage of previous crisis experience. A tendency to withdraw after a shock. The weakness of the ego in times of challenge.

One of these is my unconscious Venus, the other is unconscious Jupiter. 

This is at the point where I decide this is part 1. All the other things I wanted to say are going to go into additional articles. I am exhausted.  

Venus tends to be how we experience relationships with others. So people generally experience this from me. Jupiter is kind of like a spiritual message. Although, there is less of a "spiritual" element to the body/ unconscious/ red part of the design. 

What could possibly be good about this? A position that traumatises a person. 

Well, Ra Uru Hu had a lot of positive things to say about this line. For me, I would say it is not so much about the line. But it's position on my chart. 

The energy flow in my chart starts at the 44, moves to the 26. This is about getting background information into how humanity operates. Since these are outer planets. It is all incredibly deep and only ever semi conscious. 

From that base. There is the way I face the world. The 21-45. The manifestor part and what people see when I am in a good place and they are "impacted" by me. The moving of a pure energy into the world that 'orders' things. And that the world resists.

But there is also the Projector part (because the G- self doesn't have a route to the throat). That starts from the gate 51.1. This carries, pretty much every time I have been socially ostracised or bullied in some other way. It carries my interaction with groups (Jupiter). It has become a basis for what the G- self then experiences. 

Everyone who doesn't want to hear the truth of the 51.1 as expressed from the 25.6. Will inevitably ostracise the person with the channel. And we will see where this gets them long term.  

All of the Philosophy I have gained. All of the Law of One stuff that is heart chakra based. Is included in the G- self. The philosophy that among other concepts. Relies on Universalism. Which is a big part of the G- self.  

The G Self is generally a soft and positive centre. But the 21-45 is not such a nice feel. It sets up the chart potentially, of someone that can understand and express in pretty harsh terms the nature of a transactional relationship. But runs all of these kinds of interactions past a strong set of values that are only ever understood if they are known as a person. 

Conclusion for part 1.

This blog post has started to take on a life of its own so I will reign it in for the moment. I do intend to continue focusing on the idea that someone has a line that sounds generally crazy but that this all comes together with the amazingness of life as it is.

Reflections on Master and Slave Morality.

I have found that Nietzsche's ideas of master and slave morality, and resentment. Have been extremely useful in my life. Suddenly these are powerfully useful. 

Perhaps, but not definitely. Because Nietzsche's chart and my chart interacts with illness in the same way. With problems in the body, the lower chakras are effectively switched off, and the defined Ajna goes into overdrive. Making the person into a kind of makeshift projector. Who experiences a desire to want their knowledge to be valued and to gain power that way. But without the spiritual connection of a real Projector. Who receives an invitation and doesn't have pure energy centres into the throat, or a defined sacral, getting in the way of their information processing.

The 'makeshift projector'. The needs of the Projector without the circuitry; I hypothesize leads to a kind of powerless resentment.  

I am actually reading Nietzsche's work itself. I am never fully convinced a retelling of a persons philosophies is definitely accurate. I remember reading Adam Smith (the original 'free market' thinker) and Karl Marx originals in University and the passages I read seemed to diverge wildly from their reputations. Adam Smith was talking about quite strong regulations he would like to put in against banks. Even though what is said about philosophers work has been poured over by very intelligent people. There is a lot I can get from their actual writings. I hope to get through Nietzsche, Simone Weil and Kierkegaard. That is just the start. 

Resentment.

This is my chart. This is relevant to the theme of 'resentment' because the "cure" for that for me seems to partly be the 21-45.

The catalyst I sometimes face, one that annoys me and one that I do not get when I pray (I think this is important and I do assign this catalyst to a temptation or negative place). One that just sucks the life out of me is women in some fashion. A few weeks ago it was a very married looking blonde with massive cans that seemed to want to talk. And today, it was a younger girl, although I did not see her face, who sat right close to me and then when the 'event' we were at ended just walked away quickly. Not giving me the opportunity to so much as smile at her.  

With the lack of attractive women and sexual opportunities in my life. With the utter uphill battle this would be if I were to ever pursue this seriously. (Need to lose weight and a lot more, I would need, in truth, pretty astounding good luck!) These are really uncomfortable experiences. Men are designed to orbit women in a way. Every bit of energy a man puts into self improvement, the muscles are to protect woemn and look attractive to women. This is why mens self help doesn't include so many statements of self worth. Because women are to judge that, and they do so very arbitrarily. Men orbit women, put them 'in the kitchen' so to speak. Look after them and women orbit the children they have. Even though that is not precisely how it always goes in the modern world. That is a big part of how we are evolutionarily adapted to relate. 

I have a difficult past in this area. A fertile opportunity to 'resentment'. As a lot of people apparently do. The problem with having any kind of difficulty with women as a guy is that women are an untouchable class that cannot be criticised (outside of the manosphere of course). Out of five of my main jobs. Two of those I was viciously and deliberately socially excluded by women. To the extent that every other person at the place socialised and I was exclusively not invited - for years on end in both cases. The remaining jobs were... three, "all male" (my favourite job, even though it was low status). Four, immigrants, where I didn't talk to anyone because people barely knew English (I also liked this one, for about half the time I was there). And lastly, a very female environment where management didn't like me. So the same kind of thing in reference to exclusion, I was deliberately treated worse than everyone else there in proveable and obvious ways, but the women on the ground floor didn't have anything against me. 

Outside of that is not much better. In my regular life. Not much better. No female friendships. I did have one that killed herself (a few months after our friendship ended. It would not look good if this had been during our friendship!) Most women in my personal life that I could have potentially socialised with have responded with condescension and made very clear that this was not something they wanted. 

I have also, practically, aged out of where these social situations are likely and that I have the energy for them. The women at one of the jobs where I was socially excluded the worst, with deliberate cruelty, will never get any particular consequence for how they behaved towards me. 

There is a strong 'diffusion of responsibility' as to how women behave. A single instance of crappy behaviour is often... Quite understandable. Not even crappy by strict definitions. The girl I saw today that moved on and didn't want to talk to me. Is completely her right. There is nothing really off about that. But add these things up over a long period of time and it starts to feel like some sort of response is necessary. Or even if it is not possible due to a position of powerlessness. I have no power to respond to these women. It is worth noting, just simply to validate my own emotions. That to be able to respond would be positive. 

A woman not responding to a personal message on its own is not a big deal. But when you add it to a long list it becomes generalised. For instance, in the below tweet. This seems like a reasonable reaction to circumstance, correct? But the subtext here is that if a man is in a position of low status. And lower status men are obviously less likely to have girlfriends than high status men (and she would relate to a man who was in her friendgroup due to being one of her girlfriends boyfriends! Or a high status boss she had to relate to.) So in practice, this means that her, and the women she discusses it as being a universal principle. Have a more negative attitude, and one that is carried out in the real world, towards men of low status.  

Which we know from experience. But even pointing this obvious thing out gets people upset. 

I also, as a general principle. Do not owe women anything collectively if they have not given me anything collectively (including respect). This is not so important for me because as someone that has a chronic health condition, it is unlikely I would be well enough to defend a woman if she was targeted to be beaten or raped. But I can understand how other men do not have that responsibility either. 

Ah, I am quite proud of this chain of reasoning. It is a difficult thing to articulate often!  

Slave morality.

This, what I have said, is what I have to work with. This is my past experience with women. The raw material I have to draw conclusions from. I do have a very positive relationship with my mother though, and that is arguably a more important relationship than any I have just referenced. 

I mentioned previously how the worst sides of myself seem to be drawn out by doing energy work on myself. There is nothing good about this. I wrote down in my journal when the feeling was fresh a huge amount of things that showed how everything was going wrong. I could write an article with this information and with any connected research at a later date. These are the signs when someone is on or off their spiritual path. 

One thing I noticed is that I was able to carry out the appearance of doing the things I normally do. But without the attendance usefulness. An example. I started reading philosophy a bit more in this energy healing time. But I actually USE philosophy way more when I am my real self. I have found that thinking isn't really exclusively cerebral. The reason I am motivated to write this blog is a feeling. I feel passionate and powerful relevance to Nietzsche's concept of Master and Slave morality. The impulse to work out if his ideas on life constituted a "meaning of life" as he, and other philosophers, say it does. 

The reading of philosophy detached from that is just an "isn't this interesting", and I suppose "aren't I clever for knowing this?" 

A similar thing went for music. In the 'slave morality' frame of the energy work. I was thinking a lot about writing fiction stories and when I played, it was coming together almost like classical guitar. But once I was into my 'real self'. I feel passionately engaged with music and have no instinct to play less then presently. I was back to scales and loving blues music. The previous classical music kind of meandering was quickly gone. 

The resentments of the above though, is why I mentioned, in this article about Nietzsche's views. All of that on women. The experience earlier today, though it was short lived. Pushed me straight into "slave morality" and the anger at feeling low status and having women... make that case... subtly of course; and with endless plausible deniability. 

This is all completely real information. These are legitimate grievances, built on a solid foundation of reasoning as stated. But they still completely disappear in a more healthy state.

Master Morality.

I don't know whether I really like a term as 'Grandiose' as 'Master Morality'. But there is a clear opposition to that slave morality mindset. That is what I am talking about here. 

The other day, when flipping out of the feeling from the energy work. During the energy work or 'slave morality' mindset. I had made a long, very sensitive comment on a human design youtube video. It was to a guy actually. This had clear 'Makeshift Projector' energy to it. I reasoned out why his video was good and added some of my own insights onto his chart. I also felt generally annoyed that I probably wasn't going to get a response. 

But then when I slipped into my 'real self'. Stopped the energy work and did more exercise. I could not believe that I had bothered with something so irrelevant. I deleted the comment. I was no longer interested in it, and I would no longer say what I had said. The comment was 'alien' to me in a sense. I would not comment on his chart. That is obviously not a good thing to do and not something I care about. If he has his own answer as to why something is. It is his own answer. 

In the 'Makeshift Projector' place, I get upset with so called bad treatment and hope I can get back at everyone somehow. In my real state, or my master morality. There is nothing I care about less. I simply do not care about these people. I feel great about the gym, the Law of One and other things, and that's all I need. 

It is an irony. That in order for me to not be petty. In order for me to NOT care about revenge. I have to be far MORE ruthless, not less. 

The process after having the girl sit next to me from earlier was as follows. I went home and tried to reason myself out of it. Mildly effective. I read the Law of One. Massively effective. I prayed, and I consider that catalyst a good one to make sure I am praying in the morning and not running into those sorts of women. 

And finally, after the prayer. I wondered if I could take any of these emotions and make great music out of them. Like plugging lyrics into this kind of song:

Youtube: Red Grey Matter: Eva Carboni: July 6th 2019:

https://youtu.be/BBP0B0hVXUk?si=uUEwG5jnCKMJnBho

An interesting point. The singer this channel is aggressively promoting at the moment. Is AI! Had me fooled for a while!

You can imagine a good song being able to be made out of these kinds of emotions. All of that longing and such.

Anyway, that's all I've got for the moment! 

Gen Z, societal change.

Todays video: Psychology with Dr Ana: Does Gen Z have a puritanical problem?: Video created on: October 7th 2026:

https://youtu.be/UguB2U7EHdo?si=RjsK5k2p3mAkzsqx

I also want to talk about this general theme. It is important I think. I do believe in a Q narrative. I do believe that the world we are told exists in the Law of One, the one with Extra terrestrials and a bunch of other stuff. Does exist. 

This... changes things a little bit. Socially and philosophically. My idea of what the future is going to be impacts on my philosophy and because I do believe what I do. In the event of a Q narrative I DO believe people who have behaved a certain way all their life will suddenly change. I do believe that events can bring down pressure that is strong enough to completely change how people relate to the world. 

Real world thoughts:

So on that video from Dr Ana. I think this is a very important thing to realise in order to "keep your ear to the ground" in a sense. 

Gen Z are far more puritanical than previous generations. There are many, many things that I think might influence this. I think it is worth reflecting on the experience of these younger generations because me, as an mid to older millennial. Really stopped thinking about how people construct the world after I left that period in my life. But it is an important thing to know. I had never really considered how things like social media might effect youngsters now:

Based on what Dr Ana has said. That Gen Z are more puritanical. She specifically related this to "woke" culture. But it seems to me it would be on both sides. Gen Z women are trending hard left and Gen Z men are trending hard right. Gen Z, in general, are not drinking alcohol. Both sides in general are puritanical. Since liberals have the woke era and Communist style thought policing. Young men have Conservative attitudes.  

These are some of the reasons I think this could be. This is not going to be specifically to puritanism. Although it will focus on it. It will also be to the general issues the generation faces.

A) The introduction of politics to a generation far too young.

In the UK, in 2016. Brexit in the UK, and Trump in the US, was advertised. Pushed by the left primarily. Onto very young people. This was about my introduction to real politics. I had already done most of a politics degree. But had still not engaged in it seriously. Perhaps because my psychology didn't lend itself to leftist indoctrination the University professors were trying to push. 

it is a cold thing politics. Any real exploration of it is the study of clandestined creepy groups and all sorts of criminal things. it is the study of manipulation and how many innocent people can be manipulated. It is the study of utter focus on power and utter selfishness. 

I spent my college years blissfully unaware of politics. But at that age. I did have the fanaticism that comes with an undeveloped moral world view. One that has not experience or detachment and thinks everything is super important. One that considers its view correct because it cannot perceive the virtue outside of it often. 

For me, I think that being engaged with politics, and all its poison. Would have seriously messed up my life. But nowadays, Gen Z, many of which were born in the 2000's. Making them 16 when these events happened. They have been radicalised. 

B) The introduction of social media:

Ana mentioned this in her video. When I was young, there was a lot of freedom. There was a lot of excitement and if you went out clubbing. You danced. We did not have smartphones. Facebook really started up when I was perhaps 17.

Gen Z have had the camera on them all of their lives thus far. As young as 10 pretty much everything has been captured. The constant fear creates a communist esque perfectionism most likely.

C) The 2008 crash. 

I used to ask people a lot what their plans were in life. Their ambitions. I often got good responses from this. People were always excited about something and appreciated being asked. But a few years after 2008 (Like, roughly 2010 when women and men are recorded as politically diverging wildly). I noticed peoples ambitions had been crushed and the question brought up sullen resistance, so I stopped asking. 

D) The rampant discrimination of the left and its effect on masculinity.

One of the things that I am convinced makes life worth living is masculine passion. Women like it as well. They may say they do not and that this or that man is "arrogant" or whatever. But they are excited with it. It is also how innovation happens and how a society moves forward technologically.

For a long time now, and the left, having really won this part of the culture war. The left have been waging a war on masculinity. Everything is 'toxic'. There was 'metoo'. And there is diversity hiring making sure white man cannot get jobs. 

This has a chilling and long term sociological effect. Men do not fantasize about having a better life. Those fantasies do not involve women (who are often so feminist and resentful they would seem to not want to be involved anyway). So obviously this can lead to a chilling and puritanism. 

Also because, the millennials, in a sense. Learned from their Boomer parents. The joys of taking life easy. This was kind of a wisdom that was not shared since they had not status with which to bring Gen Z along with them! 

E) The degeneracy of millennials.

Millennials. Are really quite intense. There really is a lot of drugs going around. I remember a woman telling me she had never gone for a night out and not been offered cocaine. Weed, and way, way stronger things, are huge. I have heard of the most debauched parties. I have also heard Gen Z people reflect this attitude to me. Notably with the vaccine they found it hypocritical for Millennials say that they did not want to put one in their body when Gen Z don't believe Millennials are that discriminating in other parts of their lives.

F) The weirdness of Gen X.

There is a lot of stuff said about Boomers. I have mostly seen the positive side of Boomers to be fair. There is a certain ability to be able to handle life if you have a good grip on hedonism. I have found Gen X to be neurotic and Nihilistic (When I see them on X, they are always showing off about their Nihilism!). I haven't engaged with them a lot and do not know a lot about them in general. But I think it's worth mentioning. 

The coming shift.

I had way more 'substance' to go into this article. I was thinking recently how hell for leather a 25 year old fitness influencer is that I follow. But I think these points capture enough of what I am trying to say. 

I showed at the beginning a tweet from someone that talks about the supposed coming 'shift'. That, as I also mentioned. Does make sense to me. 

I was reading the Crucifixion of Esmerelda Sweetwater the other day. It's kind of a prequel to the Law of One. A fictional story that discusses a lot of the concepts the Law of One also does. I realised, after reading it, (it focuses a lot on how the negative twists spiritual laws in order to operate). I realised that I have an assumption within myself that I can save people more than I can. Yes, having someone like me nearby with any societal change. Someone that they trust and lives in the real world with them. But also, that is knowledgeable about these entire areas. That is good. 

But you cannot really protect someone from the impact, the societal revealing of absolute horror that this kind of political change will bring. In a way, that book, the Crucifixion of Esmerelda Sweetwater. It describes the process that a lot of people have gone through in order to take on societal beliefs. Their own free will was used against them. It was slow, cunning and powerful. But it trapped that being within it. 

The breaking of that will be traumatising. The societal effects have been massive to create Gen Z as they currently are and I wonder how much they will change if this were to all go down. 

Addendum last article. Healing.

I recall right before I had my 'schizophrenic break'. A lead in was being very confused about who I was. Am I fifth density or sixth density? Was the issue at the time. 

The intensity of learning that wisdom has not come again. The eventual result of that contemplation was very, very powerful wisdom. But sometimes I still experience a lot of discomfort in "Is it this way or that way". That might be what is happening here. Many times I have thought I should do healing and then gone back on it. Maybe I will again try and figure this out. 

Energy healing, and whether I should do it. Has been one of those things. As a person who is ill. Healing is very important to me. As a person who is spiritual and religious. There is at least a little faith that higher, positive spiritual worlds and things exist. 

I think this is a subject that is also of interest to other people. A lot of people do things like Reiki and/ or, they commit to spiritual ideas in general and believe that world exists. This is meaningful to people. Christians believe, at least in theory I suppose. That healing is possible. Since Jesus told his disciples to heal others (and cast out demons). And a lot of people have various illnesses.

The basic reality.

A few days ago though I had an insight. The energy healing I have been doing before which got a bad result. Maybe I was doing the technique wrong? Maybe I need to actually touch my body while I do it. Like, start with holding my feet etc.

So I did that. It seemed to work. I, all of a sudden had a lot more energy and a kind of 'natural' feeling of 'oneness'. A feeling of general profundity. A connection with plants.

I got very intense dreams as well (a very good sign! Or so I thought) and I slept a lot. But also, I got a lack of joy. Which I attributed to... maybe the effects of discipline. Whatever I am doing is obviously not working. So my body perhaps needs discipline to do things slightly differently? Watch less TV. Read more philosophy etc.

A few days of this though. And I started to realise I am experiencing no joy. One of the reasons, is that I am sleeping a lot. I theorised when this happened that I am sleeping deeply and healing something. But there is no positive feeling associated with this. The dreams at first seemed profound. But as it went on. A dream I had tonight. Was unpleasant in a sexual manner. Not fetishtic and fun. But kind of demonic.

It also means that I don't have the energy to get to the gym. The gym is one of the things I legitimately just absolutely love. It also provides a lot of my healing in the... real sense I suppose. I know that a lot of the problems I have. Both physical and emotional. Are helped massively by the gym. 

But what of the healing? The energy healing. Is it not meant to work for anyone and... just work in general? I have been thinking about that. I have felt a lot of positive help since doing this. I thought it might be them being happy I am on the right path. But as I have come to the conclusion I am NOT meant to be doing energy healing. I have thought of it a bit more clearly.

In one of the sessions. I can't remember when exactly. And I am not going to search it. But I am making a proper read through at the moment (with copious notes. Almost every question) so will have most of that kind of stuff committed to memory soon. 

The Law of One stated that some healers are using yellow ray energy to do the healing rather than green ray energy. Yellow is will power. This is not apparently a good energy. It is not 'of the Creator'. It is of the individual person. Green is where you want to be if you want the energy channeled from the Creator. Which is what healing really is. 

I... have no love for healing. It is purely something I am doing out of need and frustration at my medical condition. I can definitely understand that the small amounts of positive effects I did have. But without any connected warmth or joy in my life. Could easily have come from yellow ray healing. That sounds like it would completely fit. 

And at least I have an answer!

Another thing that is slightly connected that I have been thinking over. The way my path went was that it was originally very metaphysical. David Wilcock and the Law of One. And later, after being excessively mystical was not serving me. I went over to Stefan Molyneux for a long time. About a decade. 

Stefans attitude, and what he would label as the attitude of philosophy in general. Is that it is best to make decisions based on logic and objective evidence. Not mystical beliefs. I used to believe that if I ate chocolate there was a 'mystical' reason it always went wrong. But just now I have questioned that. I have had a few bad times with chocolate including last time I had it before the gym, I strained myself, the caffeine stimulation lead to overexertion and couldn't go back for two weeks. 

But that isn't like... a reason to never have chocolate. It is a kind of mystical thinking I suppose. That there is some sort of curse that says I can't have chocolate. Always a different problem. Whereas, maybe it isn't always a different problem related to a curse. Maybe it is just a few different annoying problems have come up. Which I can avoid. By say, not having it just before exercise! 

In the sense. It is very much my "path" it feels to me to work with things due to objective evidence and logic and such. 

I do use a pyramid sometimes and do find that useful genuinely. But this is me theorising why, I don't think I should be doing energy work on myself.  

Healing reflections, and human design chart insights.

My last blog was five days ago. Often it is three days apart and often it has been one day. 

For the last few days, I have been doing energy work on myself. It seems to be providing good results. I seem to be more grounded and aware of the world. More spiritually connected. I have also had energy to do more exercise than I would expect myself to have. 

Previously, I have been unable to do energy work without feeling side effects. Strong dysfunctional anger. But I think that was a problem with my previous technique. My previous technique was to do the energy work fully using visualisation only. My current technique is to use more physical movement. Like, putting hands on the place to be healed. Like they do in Reiki. This does strongly change the results. 

I am very unsure if this is the right thing for me to do. I would love to be able to heal by laying on of hands. But I am not pursuing that at the moment. I only hope to have a beneficial effect on myself and to explore the area in general. The idea of someone, anyone, having the power to lay on hands and palpably heal people like you would see in science fiction and fantasy stories. Is very inspiring to me. It would be amazing. I think at least. But is not realistic.

But again, there may be an issue that I have wondered before if I am just not meant to be a healer. There are a lot of positive effects. I have turned over more to reading philosophy that I do less of than I'd like since this practice. There is a strong element to the energy in that it feels 'oppressive' in a sense. I balance this out, oppose this strong energy, by meditating. But is that oppressive and slightly miserable feeling due to the natural forcefulness of an energy that is moving my body into a very different way of being? Or is it that I specifically am not meant to be a healer so the energy does not feel right and eventually my own natural energy asserts itself and opposes this?

While I have been doing the energy work. I have not been blogging, as another example. I did not do the energy work today and as I have continued writing this blog. I definitely have a sense of joy that has been missing for a few days.  

But improvement often does include misery. Like a calorie deficit. You have low energy, stop sleeping properly, and feel miserable. So I am truly on the fence about whether energy healing is good for me or not. 

Insights into the Human Design.

Every so often I simply post in my blog about recent insights I have had living with the Human Design.

Firstly, my two Saturn placements. For a long time I have had no insight into this. My conscious Saturn is in gate 5.4. Which is about having your own pattern that often opposes the normal pattern. I am a late riser and have all sorts of eccentric patterns. Having it in writing is one of the things that allows me to accept that. 

The unconscious Saturn though. Gate 26.4. This is both an exaltation and detriment. The lines name is censorship and the technical read out of it. (Reading about it there might actually be a deeper, more profound meaning than what I am going to talk about.) But I will just say some thoughts I have had on it.

Saturn is a social planet. There are two social planets. Two important elements of socialising that are not personal or collective. That is, the joy in a shared group, think of it like a Church choir (Jupiter) and the discipline involved. So Saturn. Who the group decides to ostracise, and who the group decides to discipline internally. This is more strongly seen in a work setting. 

This censorship is two things. 'The ability to save the collective from itself'. The upper, the exaltation. I believe. Is to do with things like keeping this kind of spiritual information away from people due to free will. Having insight from the Law of One and human design and not revealing any of it. On the downward, the detriment, a more grounded energy. I think this is to do with politics. Keeping conspiratorial and political things away from people. Essentially the lower level of those higher thoughts. If you get into that kind of spirituality. You become aware of negative and conspiratorial things. Where there are positive angelic entities; there is also negative demonic entities, and their various activities. 

Additionally, I have been thinking a little about my Venus positions. My unconscious Venus is actually a little too complex in how it manifests to discuss. This is my unconscious Venus which is conjunct my unconscious Jupiter at 51.1. It starts off an entire energy centre that is a big part of my life. I might mention things that relate to that entire energy centre of the G- Self. But explaining in detail how the energy of the Venus leads into the G- self and all that means is a bit much. 

But my conscious Venus! My conscious Sun is in gate 33.6. My conscious Venus is in gate 33.1. Recently, I have had a long discussion with someone about politics. I will not go into this persons chart because this would be against Free Will. This person would not be likely to read this blog. Both because he doesn't have it, as far as I know. And also, is not someone that is inclined to read a great deal. And has almost zero interest in the subject matter. 

But I still won't say exactly what the chart that I was pushing against says. Only, just the smallest comment. That one or his Venus placements is specifically political, and the other is easily adapted to being it once the subject becomes politics. It is used politically. 

Like I said the conversation was political. And I was taking the right wing ish view and him the left wing. It wasn't as clear cut as that but that's what it was in practice. One of the tactics that I didn't like that he used was claiming offence at certain things said. I noticed that I tried to withdraw from the conversation at one point. So I was using my gate 33. But it was not possible to do so. Then a bit later, the situation conspired to force a withdrawal. I did not have any particular understanding of what I said that caused 'offence'. So I just started saying less and less. I could not say one thing or its opposite. I was not afraid to say anything. I just, did not know how to communicate in a way that was actually constructive in some manner. 

So it struck me very much that what had happened is that I had attempted a normal withdrawal. Then that had not happened. The situation had simply become impossible for me to express anything. So obviously, the other person had nothing to respond to. It was interesting to me though that it seemed strongly that the energy had created this withdrawal in line with the gate 33.

More to say.

There is more to say, but I do not have the energy to articulate it. In general. I think there is a lot that was not quite correct about what Ra Uru Hu said. Namely, I think he unknowingly used the term 'not self', to avoid the attention of the negative. And since he did use the vague term 'not self' to describe everything negative. It also made the positive, the thing we motivate towards similarly negative. Because we automatically know that these two concepts are opposing. 

To this effect. I wonder if the defined parts of our chart always link to something constructive as long as we are positive. So if someone has a defined Ajna, they are going to process things that are useful. The undefined parts of our chart, are only positive if someone outside us with it defined, or something cultural, provides a positive interpretation of that part of the chart. For instance, I do not have the gate 41, but the Evopsych beliefs that it highlights I have gotten from the world so it is essentially, positive conditioning. 

But if someone is connecting to something, a belief system of some description that is not positive, but is the result of someone elses self serving agenda. Then it attaches to the 'not self' parts of the chart. The undefined centres. 

For instance, when I was more left wing and blue pilled, I had a lot of desire and neediness from the undefined sacral and solar plexus. The left and feminism to me meant a worship of women as feminists define them. As positive, mysterious, and morally superior.  

Compromise or no compromise. Human Design.

I had an argument with a friend recently. It has lead to certain insights I believe. The friend seems to have bowed out. Said his phone was broken five days ago. But I did all the research for it. I am going to drop that here but also, I have had larger insights to make this blog relevant. Whereas before the information was just part of a debate. Now I have also had insights that links it in with the human design chart, and reflections on my life as a Manifestor. I have a very short excerpt of a video that talks about how Generators can really 'know thyself'. That Projectors are 'Super lost' and Manifestors are 'not really interested in themselves'. They are outwardly focused. I will link this very profound point back after the discussion of politics of this blog:

Political discussion.

The conversation I was having with someone was two fold. One point was that this other person said that X is a right wing brainwashing platform. In discussing this I was kind of 'defending' the idea that it wasn't. And I said that it is fine even if there are a lot of right wing people on X because the right are generally more open minded than the left. I find that they are less uniform. The right is downstream of a 4Chan kind of culture. You get a lot of atheist/ skeptic types that are just skeptical of everything on X. 

I will perhaps come back to this study at the end of the blog. I was not able to access this article from the UK. There was another one this was the case for. The Orwellian thought police in the UK seem to me to be censoring evidence that left wing thought is flawed. But luckily today, we have AI, which can give summaries and sources for this kind of thing.

But I wanted to also write about this general theme. The general theme of the psychology of the left and right. With various articles to justify these positions. 

The first two articles are not just to show the closed mindedness of the left though. They are to lay a foundation for something that is an important aspect of the discussion. Namely, that the left has a large amount of control of academia. To the extent that truly incorrect propositions can be considered correct by these institutions, can escape the peer review and whatever else, because they agree with the lefts perspective. 

The first point is this. It would be very tempting to use the perfectly formed wording of Grok, which I have used to question and understand these studies. But I will not do so. I will simply link them here and summarise them and anyone can go on AI for more information:

Psychological Science: Political Diversity in Social and Personality Psychology: Yoel Inbar, Joris Lammers. Accessed today 1st of October 2026.

Substack: CSPI Centre: Academic Freedom in Crisis: Punishment, Political Discrimination and Self Censorship. Eric Kaufmann. Access today, 1st of October 2026.

So the left, open minded as they are. Very strongly discriminate against Conservatives in academia. And because of this, they tend to look at any information coming out of academia and discriminate against it based on that idea.

Another idea I saw put forward, on a blog with a paywall, is that the left leaning psychologists will tend to assign right wing beliefs to madness:

https://x.com/SteveStuWill/status/2097716668491338225

 

This is something I think is a good idea to generally consider. Do the left think that they are superior to the extent that idea that oppose them have to be dismissed as madness? I have had this sensation a good few times. That if people learn you have right wing ideas they dismiss other things you have to say as well. 

Anyway, onto my next study. This one is an absolute cultural doozie. This one is specifically blocked in the UK as well. It is against some sort of European Law when searched on Google. So I only have an article on it told after the fact:

LifeSiteNews: Study Authors Retract, It turns out Conservatives are not Psychotic, (Liberals are). Accessed today, 1st of October 2026.

In 2010 a study was released that showed, academically apparently, that Conservatives were in general, all around worse people than liberals. The study was a twin study of 5748 pairs of twins. It found that Conservatives have a higher P score that had lower empathy, higher sensation seeking, hostile, dogmatism and that their political views were held as a coping mechanism. 

The liberal media LOVED this, absolutely loved this. It was broadcast constantly. Bear in mind, that this study had passed peer review. And the people writing it had seen this coverage. 

In 2016, the study authors made an important clarification. There had been a problem with the study and it had been incorrectly tagged. It was in fact Liberals that had the P Score and showed all these tendencies. 

So what does this prove? I think, it proves, even more surely than the study itself. That liberals do have these negative characteristics. Because the study authors were obviously afraid of tagging the study properly. 

There is more to say here. I could go more into the study that I talked about. Another study that showed that narcissistic and psychopathic individuals are attracted to political activism. Or the work of Jonathan Haidt and his moral foundations theory exploring the differences between Liberals and Conservative. 

The reason though I had brought up this issue with academia is that poorly designed studies designed to show that say... X is a right wing brainwashing centre. Can be given a certain skepticism. It doesn't look good so far for the argument that the left are good, open- minded people.  

Self awareness.

Youtube: Talis, Human Design Guide: The Life of a Splenic Manifestor Mother: February 10th 2026. Access today 1st of October 2026.

https://youtu.be/MCZT9VXK330?si=DrMRyB-aPoiUnYk-

I live a very strange life in a sense. I am a splenic Manifestor. One thing I cannot do which I observe that Generators do in fact do. Is that I cannot have a schedule. To get to the gym. I cannot plan everything out. 

I am afraid that if I do not make a proper schedule then I won't go to the gym. Many days, due to unpredictable health concerns, I cannot go to the gym. But letting go of that control. One day I will go through the day and when the time comes I feel like my body forces me to the gym. I don't get any reluctance to go like a lot of people describe. I have never not wanted to go. 

It does require having faith that I will want to go in that way. Just on impulse. But I am now going to the gym semi regularly. 

Anyway, I do have some things to say on this entire video. But, I won't go into the Splenic Manifestor process right now. It was not me that was asked by a Splenic Manifestor mother how to handle life. 

But he said something around 13:20 that I thought was interesting:

"Especially if you are not a Generator who can actually know thyself you know. Projector, you're super lost. Manifestor, you're not really interested in yourself. You're just looking out what impact do you have".

This is pure original human design theory. This was not, as far as I know, an original thought from this guy. The idea is that Generators are able to have self knowledge whereas, non sacral types are not. At least Manifestors are definitely not. Projectors I am not sure on. 

It is an interesting idea for two reasons. One, it has lead me to wonder about something about my own life that I will mention. Also, I will start thinking over how the Generator design works. 

The Manifestor life.

I would say, that on the surface at least. It does look like I have been doing a lot of 'inner work'. A lot of these blogs are an insight of some description. And even this blog itself is a reflection on something internal... "My life as a Manifestor". I have researched mental health after a schizophrenic break in 2014.

But the deeper levels of 'internal work' have never been relevant to me. I have never found any particular relevance to any childhood thing. Also, I have no social problems with others despite being a hermit. At least no lack of confidence or anything like that.

The problems I do have are all anxiety linked, and I think they are handled by the gym. There is nothing deeper I need to do than the gym. For instance, about six months ago, I noticed a young girl (early twenties) was following me a lot on X and responding to me. I messaged her and what I said was just overcomplex and bizarre, as other messages of mine have been (I did not consciously think or feel I just wanted to sleep with her, maybe that was it I don't know). This is a consistent issue. But I know what this is. It is simply the effect of my medical condition, long term, on my physiology. Things I am very angry about can be melted at the gym and doing weights. The physiological change is fantastic, and I know that is the way to solve life at the moment. 

It is something I reflected on when I suddenly had an insight today. I have wanted to get to see a therapist at some point. But... Do I need one? I do not think I do. And a lot of the 'imperfections' I have thought I needed to see one for are perhaps not what I thought they were on closer evaluation. 

Because, and this is the part where I get to my life not being about 'knowing thyself'. I am suddenly starting to reflect on the issues I have. I do not see a lot of people yes. I am a bit of a hermit. But when I look out at these disagreements. Are they due to an internal fault?

In my life, I know exclusively Generator types (That is, Generators and Generator Manifestors). Of close friends and family, I know zero Manifestors and even going larger than that Manifestors are very thin on the ground. I had a roommate at Uni I got on with who was a Manifestor. Projectors are almost completely missing as well. My Granny whom I spent a lot of time in my formative years was a Projector. But I have never had a Manifestor friend or any of my family that I know well. 

So it is just Generators I know. These are also, exclusively leftist. I was going to say "almost" exclusively. But it is not "almost". I don't know, and have never known, any right wing people. 

Leftism, I believe, is also not very self reflective in general. When I was left wing and was trying to do 'internal work'. Nothing came. But after I found Stefan Molyneux and the right, I started to become more aware.

Leftism and self reflection. 

One of the features of ideology in general is that it reflects into every part of a persons life. I remember Stefan Molyneux talking about this. That he had never met a scientist that was a scientist but who believed science was misleading and useless. He had always found that people kind of evangelise their life choices. It is as though we have to be consistent with ourselves. 

This is something I found in the aforementioned discussion and I think has been touched upon in the previous articles. If people align with a certain political faction. They take on, or perhaps already had, the personality features of those politics. Halfway through the debate with the friend I mentioned. I took advice from someone in my life and tried to end the discussion. This other person then wrote to me saying that I should not have been so stupid as to have assumed that the research said the thing I wanted to see. This enraged me. But it fits with a left wing worldview. Anything that does not agree with their worldview is dismissed as crazy in some fashion. He assumed I was making up my ideas and they had no research behind them because it was simply what he emotionally preferred.

The reason I am starting with that as a basis, is that I think this also reflects into other areas of left wing life. The right wing basis of thought is that we try and get the system, the trading and capitalist system. To work in our favour and there is a belief that it is the best system. As Ayn Rand would point out. Trade is voluntary. The way the right think is to create a system where people at the bottom, or people at the top, who are "sinners", are handled either by the free market or the justice system. The right understands that people at any level can be either saintly or corrupt. 

The left though, believe that the poor (or whatever constitutes a minority), or "oppressed", are perfect. That they should be given money with no strings attached. That the "rich" are sinners regardless of any other extenuating factor. It does not matter WHY a person is rich. Only that, because they are, this fact in itself allows the leftist to point a gun at them to "redistribute their wealth"... "Tax the rich" as the left like to say. The rich, even if they were born into it. Are sinful for their very existence. 

There is also endless excuses and no need for accountability for anyone lower on the ladder. People commit crime because they are poor. Evidence does not support this. But this is what the left insists on. No one that is poor has a chance in life because the rich have taken so much of the wealth that no one else has a chance. Marxism, to its most fundamental level. The work of Karl Marx. Believes a violent revolution is necessary to bring about a Communist Utopia. 

Real world results. 

This sets up a certain way of viewing the world. To the leftist. Nothing that is a problem in the world are due to their own behaviour. Everything is due to the environment. Which means, furthermore, that leftists are not self reflective. Despite the fact, as talked about earlier in the study. On average they have worse personality characteristics than the right. 

This means that if someone is in contact with a leftist, and it does not go well. That leftist will not take accountability. Nothing will ever be the leftists fault. So if someone interacts with them who is self reflective. Then the pressure to change or improve will be on the non leftist. And that person will either be pressured, or pressure themselves. To repeatedly accommodate the leftist.

This is a common theme very often. When one person refuses to compromise and the other person is reflective and capable of compromise. Then the one capable of compromise will just be made to make deeper and deeper compromises.

It reminds me of my attempted interaction with my half sister. I felt from the beginning that I had made a lot of effort to keep the relationship going. When we were young I had gotten her presents every birthday and Christmas and she had never returned that affection. Also, she had cancelled on me a whole bunch of times. This was the kind of connection it had been.

But I messaged her. Emailed and such. And then the pressure was on me to make concessions. We met up, I asked when we should meet up again. She gave a date. She was not in the country for that date. We agreed it should be phone calls. She decided it should not be phone calls it should be messages. Then she said only messages. Then she didn't reply to messages. And later, even trawled through a 12 paragraph message I had sent her to find the one thing she was insulted by.

She doesn't like me. Plain and simple. The debt that I felt in our relationship thus far with the presents, was never going to be acknowledged. At each stage, I was making small compromises. 

It's a good example. Because nothing that I could do. No effort to analyse anything or change myself would do anything. I mean, maybe it would. I am sure if I attained celebrity and money tomorrow she would message me immediately. I would prefer not to believe that. It would be preferable for me to believe that she still would not contact me because at least that would be honourable. But I do believe that. 

The Manifestor and Generator process. 

So what I am kind of saying here about the Manifestor process. My natural process might not be to be too self reflective. What are my goals? Get lean and ripped. Play great music. Study philosophy and the Law of One. Those are my real goals. Women are too confusing a goal to pursue, and I am not in a good enough position. All my goals only involve me. All goals that would appreciably increase my power, love of life, and are things I have not experienced previously.

If my ideal self is not self reflective. Then the 'not self' in the current society. Would push me to be self reflective in a kind of therapy and self change way. To make up for people that are not self reflective, and do not intend to change. 

So from that perspective. I do not need therapy. I just need to forget the very many bad social situations I have had. 

On Generators though. Why are they able to 'know themselves'? I don't know. But my first thought is that the things that they need to 'get over'. The things they need to go to therapy for. Are all the ways that their sacral centre has conformed to group norms in order not to be lonely. In order to succeed and live like the sacral centre desires. But perhaps it is deeper than that.