Reflections on non violence.

Second blog of the day. I did the last one only a few hours ago.

I will assume knowledge of the Lord of the Rings books, or even films, for this blog. Since it is such a popular cultural phenomena. 

Youtube: First Timers: I Don't Know If Tolkein Was Right, dated February 14th 2026:

https://youtu.be/X0z1mXXtXZU?si=kEfOkWesN0Jb53Zs

Many interesting points offered in this video. Most of this guys channel is devoted to Lord of the Rings, so many of them are highlighting something interesting in the text and often adding a somewhat philosophical take.

Originally, this was a big sticking point for me. In 'The Hobbit'. Bilbo gets lost in a cave, after escaping Goblins. Gollum, behaving and looking fully like a creature from hell. Offers to play a game of three riddles with Bilbo. If Bilbo wins, he will show Bilbo the way out. If Bilbo loses, he is eaten by Gollum. 

What a sick little creature honestly. What a horrible disgusting little reptile to not offer help to someone lost in caves, and try to manipulate your way to get them to agree to being eaten instead. It did not seem sensible for me at all, for Bilbo to have spared Gollum. It didn't matter what Gandalf said about 'do you have the right/ power/ chance to give it to them?'. This is a non issue. Slice off his head and be done with it! 

But more recently. I feel it is easier to capture what might have been being said here.

Firstly. The message here is NOT to falter in the face of evil. I did originally think that. The message is not that cowardice is the preferred moral choice. Why? Well, the story in general, the Lord of the Rings. Is precisely NOT about this. Frodo and the rest of them are standing up, sometimes with violence. Against evil that is completely terrifying. Evil such as the Nazgul.

To see the virtue in this path of 'mercy'. Not only to Gollum as the video shows. It might be worth expanding this idea out a little bit. Tolkien. I believe he fought in both wars. Regardless, he was alive for both wars. 

For the sake of this blog we will assume the mainstream paradigm of Allies = Good and Germans/ Nazi's = Evil. Although that is probably not the whole story. But Tolkien, and people he spoke with, were probably in some very morally dicey situations as soldiers. They probably dealt with enemy soldiers, thieves, even rapists. They had to take over towns sometimes. They had to manage the towns they had taken over. Sometimes, they probably had to withdraw from those same towns. Perhaps to fight on another front.

While it might make sense with this singular, evil creature in a cave to take off his head. Expand that out to a collective situation. In any particular town. Some of these people would be real killers. 

But you can't kill them all! And you can't really know, really look into their hearts, to know if they are going to change in the future. Whether the killers settle down into quiet farming life after the war ends. have kids. Loved their wives. Etc.

If you were to assume you had that god like judgement to deal out that justice. Then what would you become? Say you looked at every criminal within one of these villages you had overtaken. And you killed them all. Wouldn't you then become the monster? 

It is a set of events, that, to me, doesn't make a great deal of sense when they are restricted to the things that happened in the book. But when you consider their impact on the larger society. They make complete sense. 

This is a side note, but how Arwen idealises Aragorn is another thing that invading soldiers might experience. And to have the wisdom to refrain from 'partaking' would probably be the better move. The knowledge of how shallow and false Arwens feelings were. How they were based on other things. Other pains, she was trying to escape. 

The only thing that is not quite fixed for me. The only thing where I still wonder at the message. Is Gollum at mount Doom. Dealing the decisive blow against the ring when Frodo failed. That the evil, weak, being was fully necessary, to fight the evil. That that incredible sense of fortune or fate, made up for Frodo's weakness. 

Is there this sense of fate in such matters? 

This is in the realm of things that can't be known. But I feel that the fact that Tolkien was very clear with other individuals, that if you grant mercy, even to a ridiculous extent, you are not always rewarded. They do not always fortuitously return the kindness. Sometimes they leave only misery in their wake, after the mercy you granted them. Sometimes there is literally nothing that you can objectively look at to justify the decision to have mercy on evildoers. I feel like this is deliberate and important.

All interesting things to ponder I think.  

Meditation is key!

The effects of meditation are pretty unbelievably profound for me. 

Not profound in a "woo- woo" way. But profound in a practical way.

It feels like. Everything is just a bit more 'in tune'. It feels like, every decision is just 10% better. Life is 10% better. 

I have meditated around about 20 days now. The first ten days was with a pyramid and the Law of One book 2 next to me. Then I realised I had a bit of an issue and got kind of overenergised. Since then I have kept it to normal meditation. This all started because I am doing prayer regularly. 

I have made BIG insights via dreams. 

Music is the next priority. There are two very powerful insights I have that relate to this. 

1:- I need to stop going on social media and arguing with stupid people and/ or leftists (per my last post). Obviously this is not a useful use of my time. I consider it kind of important for me in a sense since I spend a lot of time alone so am kind of lonely. So what I have decided, which I might change, is that I prioritise music. I play music before I log onto reddit. 

2:- And this is even bigger. One of the things I have wondered if I should do is writing erotic stories. I have wondered this a LOT. I have, in my human design chart. Two placements that make me think this might be necessary. One of them is 58.2 in detriment. A genius for perverse stimulation that afflicts oneself and others by promoting degeneracy and reducing joy to indulgence and decadence. 

There is also a line in the Law of One that says that if you have a perverse desire, the only thing that can be done is play it out in the imagination.

For this reason, I have thought maybe the thing to do with the sex drive then is to make erotic stories. Which I have tried to do.

But today, BIG insight. From trying very hard to figure out if erotic stories were the right thing to do. By comparing it with what happens when I am doing music stuff. I have determined, finally, that erotic stories is NOT the right thing to do. And that music, it just makes everything work where the stories kind of confuse anything. They feel like opposites. Where erotic stories bring a heaviness, music brings a lightness and quick, useable, insights. 

There is more to say, but I am in a good mood now and about to get down to some music practice. I also want to plan my life around music properly. A big part of what often holds me up is that I need to carve out time to do music related things but not actually music. Things like writing stave music.  

Disturbing insights.

Got to admit. I am a "little" wired at the moment. I mentioned, casually, how chocolate interacts with my medical situation. In that it is needed. Because I wanted to make sure my digestion was OK. After stopping it for one day I decided I needed it to day so I had a LOT. A big bar of dark chocolate. The chemically best one to get I think. It is not clear whether I did or did not need that much. Now I am WIRED!

About 45 minutes ago, I wrote a FANTASTIC post on the subreddit for the Mentalist. I can't remember where I learned this, I think it was some random film youtube channel but also, another way, from Media Studies I did at A- level. But it is based on something I have observed over a lot of media. Partly helped by various youtube videos. What I am referring to is that shows put a lot of hints of upcoming events. It is something to do with making our subconscious accept things. 

One thing I think happens with Hollywood writers. Is that, they have talked over stories so much that they really do know the ins and outs of things. When we watch them, there is the implication that it is all a bit random. A kind of ongoing Dunning Kruger effect where the dim, or in this case inexperienced, (the audience) underestimate how complicated a thing is. 

The amount of conspiratorial things that can be found in shows is quite amazing. A basic one to start off with, that is confirmed. Is that in Breaking Bad, the pictures on Walters wall in his class room are meant to show ahead of time what happened with Jane. 

But it goes far deeper than that. OH does it go deeper. The back stories I have seen in Film Theory, especially on Wall- E and Shrek. Have shown really specific things put into stories that show very specific and sinister back stories. (Another more ridiculous one: Is Kevin from Home Alone the Saw Killer?)

So I put together one of the ones I have noticed about "The Mentalist". The Mentalist was a show that had a very exciting and "mythical" serial killer (called "Red John"). It is known as one of the best serial killers. But a problem with the show is that what SEEMED to happen. Is that the writers didn't appear to know what they were doing, and they said publicly they had not decided on who the serial killer was going to be even late into Season 5, when they had dropped a bunch of hints about who it was!

This literally gives people a bit of a bad experience since the events at the end of Season 3 seemed like a better way for Red John to go out, rather than the actual end of Red John in Season 6. 

Watching the show, I have seen very specific hints from Season 1 about who the killer was. Many absolutely direct ones. So I wrote a post about it. One of the hints I explored, which was related, was that one of the other serial killers followers, was Red Johns son. 

Then later, I went back to the post, realising another additional piece of the puzzle. The character in questions second name was Johnson... Literally John - son. Going back to those hints I mention. I said I consider that a correct theory. 

It is pretty cool to uncover something like this. BUT, it has shown something about human nature to me. 

REDDIT. I have made another similar insight into Breaking Bad. A similar insight into Walters motivation and hints in the show of why things went down as they did. It was good. It was marked down. 

I had mentioned the Todd Johnson connection on reddit before before I had put together the clue of John - son. 

It is early days. My post was marked down to zero; someone disliked it, now it is back to 1. But my best posts on this website. A stargate one (where one of the show runners asked for ideas and I dropped several paragraphs, I was the only one to and it was disliked a few times!), the Breaking Bad ones with that theory, and this one. Have all got a lukewarm or negative reception. 

It feels as though people see these responses. And mark them down because they are intelligent and these people resent them! 

This is all I have to say. It is... not a good or comfortable theory on human nature to hold. Because it includes a certain level of what feels like "narcissism". "People are not nice to me because they resent my intelligence". My intelligence is fairly high. I have had it tested at Mensa and I will not give the number. I will say two things. A) It was not high enough to get into Mensa B) It was outside a standard deviation on the high side. So if someone has an IQ score a standard deviation lower than mine, they would still be higher than the upper average of intelligence. 

Which means I basically can't communicate with women outside a statistical minority, making it harder to get laid! Since there are less high IQ women than men, women cluster around the mean far more, and you can't have meaningful communication more than one SD apart. I do quite ruthlessly discern a womans intelligence when I meet her. 

It is an uncomfortable. Very uncomfortable theory for my life. I am someone that has been beaten down a lot. Unwell, unemployed, chronically single, no friends. As we all have in this society in truth. Or at least most of us. So it is not comfortable to put this forward as a theory. But it does fit. 

I remember when I started getting really into right wing politics. People absolutely lost their minds. It was around the same time that I was getting involved in videos on narcissism and suddenly reflecting on my past as well. 

It was a weird moment. Because two things seemed true at the same time. My "friends" and family had suddenly lost their minds over inconvenient, political opinions. But also, at the same time as this, I was having deeper insights into my past and the fact that I had been ostracised, both now, and in said past. Sometimes in almost identical situations (Me learning about the transit of Jupiter, these happened 12 years apart!)

The only theory that fits is that it was not actually the right wing politics. It seemed more that people chose the right wing politics as their issue. But it reflected something else. And perhaps that is intelligence. They ostracised me in my late teens and 20's for intelligence. They also ostracised me in my early 30's for intelligence, but they stuck a convenient label of "right wing" on it the second time.   

The different parts of the human design chart. Projected, Generated, Manifested.

A few thoughts on the human design then:

David Wilcocks human design chart. 

I started thinking about him because I noticed that a lot of the people that usually cover him. Steven Cambian. Hidden in Plain Sight. Have gotten bored of him. He is now dragged down far enough that even the normal critics are not interested in him. 

Which correlates with Saturn leaving Pisces. Davids path is kind of perfect in that way. David has his Sun in Pisces and many of his planets are in Pisces. He was one of the lead grifters in the UFO field. Corey Goode is also a Sun in Pisces. As Neptune passed through Pisces, it appeared to offer them complete immunity. 

Then Saturn went through and it trashed them completely. When Saturn was in gate 55 in the beginning of Pisces, Corey's deposition came out publicly. While Saturn was going through Pisces Corey and Davids fall from grace happened very publicly.

Now as it leaves though, something even worse is happening. David is frightened of saying anything. He has been hammered on everything so hard. Stavatti, his various predictions. That he simply doesn't say a single thing on his youtube livestreams. He chats to his audience and collects super chats. 

So his critics (Saturn) are leaving him, and his audience is leaving as well. There is simply no energy in Pisces. 

David is a very interesting case, because he is a Manifestor, and he is very transparent about everything going on in his life. He is also someone I personally have followed for a long time. 

Looking at his chart though. It starts to make a bit more sense. Davids problem, seems to me, is that he is pathologically unable to confront conflict. I mean, of course he has other problems, like greed. But him getting scammed by Stavatti kind of shows the conflict thing I think. 

The way the design works, I tend to think, is that people can have a great deal of hexagrams/ planetary positions, in places like undefined centres. So even if they think about such a hexagram a lot. It does not effect the "flow" of their lives. 

But if they have it somewhere on a defined channel. This is REALLY important. 

Gate 30, as an example, I have often noticed is relevant to political concerns. Someone who has gate 30 on an undefined emotional centre, will have that stuff as a side of their life, an unimportant one, only to become important due to transits or specific experience. But someone that has the 41-30 channel, then another one into the throat. What is represented by that point, will be shown very strongly in their lives. 

With David, he has two sides of his chart. he has the 54-32 that I have talked about before, as a Projected part of his chart. A part that relies on recognition and free will. The other part is a manifesting part. The 39-55 and the 36-35. The 55 is extremely afraid of conflict. Because what it has to offer is irrational. The person can't really justify (with the mind) the extreme moodiness and strange things it comes out with. It is also at the beginning of Pisces, which is not known for its strength in conflict. 

So David has two malfunctioning channels I can see. One is the 54-32. The 54 pushes and is ambitions, the 32 stays that ambition with realism. David pushes out with his crazy ideas but does not balance that with the gate 32. The 32 is ALWAYS moderate with its politics. This might be because Uranus is Davids 32, and Uranus is HARD WORK. 

Another part is the gate 39. So David says things that provoke others (wacky stuff), but then he does not challenge like the 55 would do if it was healthy. The 36-35, the expression of chaos, with it's political links in the gate 35, is the only healthy channel he has. It is a pure manifesting channel. It is the channel he is using.

I have wondered a little, how does the projected parts of a person and the other parts (either generator linked or manifested) interact? For instance, in circumstances when someone is socially ostracised. I have noted that often what the group wants is that the manifested or generated parts of the chart to be expressed, and all the projected parts to be suppressed. to 'not talk about it' (I have the 11-56!)

But I wonder if there is more to it than that. I wonder if there is a kind of "health" of the projected parts that is relevant? There is an internal as well as an external. 

A whimsical journey.

Ah, I am in a bit of a health bind. I have to have chocolate every day. For constipation. It is very effective and even though I have various other things. Very often, when it comes down to it, I need chocolate. It just works better. It stimulates my digestive system to generally work better. 

But chocolate has a side effect. It is a substance for me that has side effects that are distinctly worse than alcohol. I don't get a great deal of issue with alcohol. Chocolate... Disturbs my sleep. So I end up after taking it a while at the kind of end of my tether. Unable to properly rest. Kind of wanting a day without it, so I can just sleep the whole day. But knowing my stomach will pack up if I do. 

Anyway, this is not what this post is about, although there is a relevance to it that will come later. 

Youtube: Literary Archeology: Perspective is EVERYTHING. Society steals it from us by hiding where we come from. REDISCOVER truth. Posted February 9th 2026:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6VYHZiUrrCs

I'm not expecting you to watch this video. But I will be commenting on it so it should be here.  

Conflict in a journey.  

Another point I want to bring in that is only tangentically connected to this. Is that I have had an insight recently. Thoughts I had had that lead me to create this image with AI (A kind of personal set of tarot cards I am creating for myself with dream imagery!) 

What this was intended to convey is that sometimes when two worlds collide, sometimes the conflict can be too much and you have to pick one or the other. This was with The Law of One/ Human Design (highly spiritual and even theological texts) and my belief in Stefan Molyneux. An atheist philosopher. Heavily atheist. 

When I made this card my thought was that these are fundamentally incompatible. And the dream imagery, that was actually quite different to this, and this imagery. That of a portal from another world disturbing this highway. Was meant to show that.

But now, what this card will mean, is that these two "roads" can infact be combined. It has suddenly come clear to me. In that Stefan Molyneux puts a lot of emphasis on Evolutionary psychology, and he references the subconscious mind as part of this. But I can kind of use both systems. The subconscious mind is indeed very powerful, so, it works within a persons life to teach them lessons, and to better themselves. Like what we might think of under a new age paradigm. 

I have a ruthless part of my mind that tears apart anything that isn't hammered down, and I do sit uneasily with a lot of my spiritual/ theological beliefs.  

The point. 

But there is a reason I brought the relevant youtube video up. 

So the story, if you did not want to sit through the half hour video or so, was a very whimsical story including flowers, magical talking flowers, and two young girls. If I have that right.

As I have gotten into meditation again and am regularly praying, also reading the Law of One, and with better health than I have been in the past. As does arrive with meditation. There is a kind of magic. An intuitive way of connecting things that is not normally present when I am not meditating regularly. 

I tend to think though, that a lot of the theological ideas are metaphors for something very relevant. This is fairly obvious. But when we subconsciously perceive a great deal of positivity. We feel that to be intuitively very positive and obviously, when we perceive dishonesty or threat to an overwhelming extent, we perceive and feel malevolence. Kind of obvious. 

What I think this story is showing though, what it means for me. Is that there is a way of getting things "right" that involves a kind of "magic". As an example. I have a few different talents and abilities. I do not have others. But I have a certain tendency towards open mindedness and thinking through various spiritual information. Like the Human Design Chart. 

It seems logical on a purely mental level, to do healing, Since I have medical issues and energy healing is something I believe is possible. But while it is a nice idea, it is an idea that hits a lot of notes mentally. In real life, it is a nice self centered idea, but I don't have the "emotional empathy" to help others in that way, I know that (as I know healers). It would allow me to push against the normal political zeitgeist. As does writing fiction. That would allow me to get a lot of ideas in about opposing evil doers. 

But none of these things are magical. They are all kind of... calculated. What really works for me. Aside from the spirituality already mentioned, is music. Music, is just magical. It solves issues for me. It fits my peculiar psychology to have a lot of detail involves, scales etc. in articulating and expressing emotion. There is no "technical" benefit to music. No intellectually explainable benefit. But music, is my path. I know it. And it provides powerful benefits that I cannot get from other sources. Powerful insights where things that I cannot normally get seems simple and obvious. It provides a lot of joy to others as well, whenever I play.

Magic. 

The idea of positive magic, I recall a psychologist who used to talk about this, who was thrown into disrepute as soon as he died, and whose conclusions were incredibly politically inconvenient. About how genius's mainly work by intuition and are lightyears ahead of everyone else in ways that can't be proven. Was the name Michael Eysenck or something? 

The woman making these videos. Is saying a lot of powerful positive things. Perhaps her own output is this unexplainable "magic". I see it a lot with what seems to be what someone is actually meant to do with their lives. Should be doing in general. It is an absolutely indispensible part of life in my understanding.

The relevant story had a lot of moments where the main girl could have not bothered with the magic. Where she could have stayed in her room and not gone to investigate what the flowers were doing. It had a lot of little elements typical of this magic. It had a lot of elements of following the irrational. 

Perhaps this is a magic that is specifically female. Or perhaps the story has other meaning and interpretations. Like most stories. There was more subtext to this story than the simple following of a whimsical journey. 

But that's at least, what it could mean, to me.  

The incel-ly post.

I am definitely in an "incel-ly" sort of phase. 

My health has been so bad for so long that I have not had to worry about sexual matters too much. I have always been able to easily withdraw. That, or I have been chasing girls and badly failing but also showing deep schizophrenic types of symptoms. Now though, a lot of that is solved; and my natural healthy drive has started to bug me.

On a philosophical level it annoys me. The Law of One is a set of theories I think about and respond to. But women, in our current society. Have what I would consider an almost aristocratic privilege and attitude to go along with that. Perhaps not past a certain age when the attention runs down. 

I do look good. I still get attention and looks. Even though I am not in my twenties anymore, am gaining a bit of weight, and am generally a bit pissed with life. But women are unpredictable. It could be that just approaching them I have better than expected success. That I am the literal degenerate that so many red pill content creators lambast, that women have a disproportionate affection for. When I speak to women, I am in control in a strange way. 

But I am kind of trapped. I have got my daily patterns as good as I can make them. Prayer, meditation, and when I can do it, music. Also the gym. Human design, and this blog. So I figure I should push every other technique if I am not yet getting the results I want.

There is no obvious route to improve my relation to women. Or to explore it. At the gym the other day, a blonde young hot thing was close to me and seemed to make eye contact as I left. At night, when I go, it is not a good idea I don't think, to talk to women. But it happened, as it did, and excuses can be used at any time. 

So one of the techniques I've considered exploring is writing stories about it working out. But when I write stories. The story works out like it wants to. I don't feel I can change it. I also don't feel like I can write stories because I have a low level of emotional empathy. I think. I am not sure. 

A few months ago I saw a girl that stayed with me long term. Blonde, young, beautiful, massive breasts. Very similar to another girl I knew that I was able to charm. I saw her near a church, and I tried to write a story about me talking to her and it working out. The point is, to imagine things working out and to train myself to relate to women better when I see them on the fly:

              Oh, another one Daisy thought to herself. Another guy that wanted to look tough but wouldn’t even approach her. He didn’t look much, this guy, but he was a little good looking. Looking like he’d put on a bit of weight, was probably married.

              She didn’t make eye contact and walked on. Fully aware of the intense beauty of her form. But after she thought he had gone, she saw a shadow up on the right of her.

              “Hey”, the guy said, obviously a bit nervous. “Can I talk to you for about fifteen minutes?”

              Shocked at this request, she looked at him. Feeling a little angry. But a spontaneous smile from this guy, stopped her short.

              “Er… No” she said.

              And then he fucked off. 

 I can't even make it work out in my own fantasies! 

The human design holds that I am a manifestor so I should just do what I want and hope for the best. Approach and worry about the rest later. The point of the stories was to improve the desireability of the whole thing. But perhaps it comes down to the human design. Or perhaps it does not. 

Reflections on Manifestor (Human Design) and Meditation.

Finally, I have found a Manifestor:

Simon Baker. 

Main character in 'The Mentalist'. I find that characters, actors, act precisely in line with the charts. Because if someone is to do acting. What else is there? For a generator, their sacral will be responding. Yes, No, and will form the character. It works with any type I am sure. 

 

This is another Manifestor. A guy called Neil Jackson. Yet another two manifestors are Jennifer Lawrence (the time of birth is given for Lawrence!), and Chadwick Boseman. Although I have never seen a Chadwick Boseman film. Manifestors are extremely rare though, and I sometimes wonder if they don't fit in with Hollywood culture. I remember going through the entire cast of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and I did not even find one Manifestor. 

The reason I mention this. Is because Simon Baker, Neil Jackson and Jennifer Lawrence, all have some similar themes in their characters. All emphasized very strongly. Like, it is the whole story. It is this story where a guy has to kind of seethe and plot to oppose a tyrant of some sort. An evildoer. 

Simon Baker, in the Mentalist, he spends almost the entire show hunting the serial killer that killed his wife and daughter. Red John. Neil Jackson. In Dream Team, which is a football soap. He is taken advantage of and strategically works against the forces trying to destroy the football club. Then in the Blade series. It is a similar story with a head vampire. 

In the Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence has a similar thing. Although, there are other themes, some movies where this specific theme is not shown. I wonder if it reflects something about the Manifestor energy?

Not sure how that fits in with the theory. But it is not the same kind of story with the other types. They do tend to be more worker types of people doing their normal life then coming across a whole lot of chaos. Like, the surrounding cops in the Mentalist, or a Bruce Willis film. (Pure Generator!) There is a lot of joy in the Generator characters in general. 

I don't know precisely what this means. Like, why the manifestors precise circuitry would create this effect. 

The Projector, as a non sacral, without the sacral. They relate a little more to the individual. Christopher Judge (Teal/c in Stargate SG-1). Heath Ledger. Rene Aubergenois (The captain of Deep Space Nine). Patrick Stewart, Marina Sirtis (Counsellor character in The Next Generation). These characters all have a deeply psychological element to them. The outer enemy is secondary to their inner journey (even with Teal'c episodes like the right of Mal Sharan!). 

Not so with the Manifestors though. The outer enemy really is the point of the Manifestor journey as portrayed in fiction. Or so it would seem. 

The manifestors generally carry themselves with a certain poise, and are quite a commanding presence. Even though Simon Bakers character in the Mentalist is not any sort of leader. He does effectively lead in a sense. They all have a kind of inscrutable intelligence and strategy. 

Thoughts on yesterdays post/ Meditation. 

Yesterday, I talked about how the meditation I was doing was kind of unbalancing me. As in, I was getting anxious. I have thought about why this is and a correction of it. 

It reminds me of the quote in the Law of One material: "It is unwise to run before you can walk". Or similar words of the same meaning.

When I was doing meditation. The meditations that were bringing me so deep I was not moving at all. I would feel my body stop from non movement. I would get powerful insights. This meditation was done with the aid of a certain ritual. I put book 2 of the Law of One next to me. I put a pyramid on my lap. 

I have been doing this for a while and it is powerful. BUT, there is an issue with this. It does seem to make me very cerebral and it does seem to make me completely forget about sexual and animalistic matters in general.

This is not healthy. So I have gone back to normal meditation. It does not sound like much and it definitely isn't much to people that are not acquainted with this sort of thing. But for me it is the difference between complete stillness and normal movement. When I am not deepening the meditation in that way my hands are moving normally. 

My meditation today was almost half me dealing with my own "lower" impulses. In general. I think this will be a far better effect than what I was doing before.