The opposite of what a healer is.

I'm starting to wonder if I can get over this girl. I have gone through one day without the urge to call her, and having relaxed a bit from deliberate distraction.
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My mother, although not a great teacher of all things spiritual. She dated a man for a few years and she was really crazy about him, but she got turned off 'permanently' when she saw a part of him that was a bully.
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Kind of a little bit how I see this girl. She is meant to be a healer but she has used healing energies to twist herself away from real positive behaviour. The opposite of what a healer is. (And as you give to yourself, you must give to others. In order to do this to herself and be genuinely unaware of the real positive options she would have had to apply these teachings to others. There may be a trail.)
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I suppose I felt a little different in the conversation when I realised she knew, and completely understood the way I was suffering, but... what? I don't know a great deal about the methods she's used to block the original positive feelings, that is mysterious; but I know she has and that was out of a cowardliness of not wanting to be vulnerable after I was slightly nasty to her.
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Classic feminist.
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And with any luck now she does not have the same conviction and has started to doubt these teachings, their power will start to remove from the world.