That last post,
I suppose to some extent I have to discipline myself away from saying and thinking things like that.
I am absolutely unequivocably trapped, with people having power over me whom do not have mercy.
But if I say anything along the lines of 'I plan to die' then I will get communication from the 'left' side of my indigo chakra field.
It is of course, not fair. My 'crimes' are not in proportion to my punishment. I do think avoiding STS people is a good thing although my intuition may say to communicate with them. But when I do my STO information gets perverted and properly used for STS reasons.