With this idea I have outlined, and it is exciting in a weird way, like a project. I cannot give up I basically have to remain service to others polarised otherwise there is simply no energy to back up against the blockage and bring me to my 'natural end'.
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It may sound like I am deliberately doing something here, but in fact I am narrating a process that is automatic, in my belief.
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Obviously any positive feeling I have towards this girl is blocked since the natural conclusion of the positive feeling is... So let's just give her a call! Actions follow thoughts and intentions like day follows night.
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So just adding. The girl herself was very into psychology, so would have known the results of her behaviours. She was also very into ET groups she had contact with and I felt the neg versions of that same vibration was what bothered me. Or it could have been the neg version of Carla's quo, which I was trying to get into at the time.
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Painfully, stupidly, I have to remain positively polarised right up to my end otherwise like I said there will be no energy which in this naturally trapped state ends up supporting my demise. Therefore, I will have to stay basically open for contact which was something I did not want. I think I can be open for contact then refuse it but I still have to be open. Right up to the last moment.
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I am literally relying and expanding her hatred of me to kill me!
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Also, I have to keep both blogs open and in line with positive polarity, from my side it is my committment to the truth that gets twisted into having the adverse effect on me, although that's just how I am, I could not not have that. I'll go see that crop circle on my upcoming birthday!
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