De- tuning.

I think it is becoming more important for me to stay 'tuned' at this part of my life. 

I had a dream tonight. It was one of those dreams where you know you are dreaming, and you want to get out of the dream, but you cannot. I call entities to get out of that state. But the thing about this dream was that it was not a dream. I was in a completely black space. 

Horrifying obviously if you know what this is hinting at with reference to the Law of One. I think it is a warming. The warning is that I am at a point now where yielding to temptations is going to be costly.

This has happened because, I was doing meditation daily and feeling fantastic. I have also been going to the gym although have missed this week outside of learning stretching (which is more like very light resistance work some of it). 

But as I meditated, and felt great from the exercise. Playing music is a good thing as well. I started to doubt the use of 'prayer'. Wondering if I still need it if I am getting the positive effect of meditation.

When I don't pray. I get a bad luck. I just meet people that are not good luck in the same way. People I don't think I would meet if I were 'protected'. Life just coincidentally works out a bit worse. 

Which is what happened here. One by one small little temptations crept in. I was eating chocolate. I had some wine with my communion, as I felt stressed, and wine a bit later. Then I didn't meditate one of the days, thereby breaking a streak. Caffeine stops me sleeping normally after a short while. I am just not quite as rested. I just can't quite get to a normal level of relaxation. Which I am feeling now. I am feeling the level of relaxation below what it would have been had I had a bar of chocolate. 

It's just a slight thing that leads to another detuning thing and another. But it started with stopping prayer.

I realise this is a very self centered post .While I do mix my experiences with what I am saying in most posts. This has been fully based on myself. But I do think that we all do experience this in some manner. Readers here are most likely to be of this kind of leaning. For you, it might not be caffeine or alcohol that creates the problem. Many people barely respond to caffeine it seems to me. But we all do have our equivalent temptations. And the spiritual journey that we are on is important. Especially as we get it right and thereby, have more power so the negative effects of yielding to temptation are more costly on ourselves and others. 

I am hoping I am getting to the end of these little experiments and will eventually be able to just pray everyday and meditate, either very frequently or every day. 

Experimenting with healing ideas.

I feel... Fantastic. I have gone to a class on stretching at my gym. Although it was less stretching really as 'resistance training'. I really need quite an involved exercise program to improve from my current state. Not just weights, stretching as well, and other lifestyle changes. 

I talked recently about Session 5.2. in the Law of One. I have had two recent experiences in wondering how to access the emotions that it talks about. One of them that did not feel particularly authentic and relevant. But I will not be discouraged that easily. The second felt like it was very powerful. 

The first was, I have not been able to seriously get to the investigation of emotion yet, I am reading a book on it. But I did get an insight or thought about the area. The first stage of session 5.2. is being able to quieten the mind, and I have meditated six days in a row now. 

I had an insight that if the example the Law of One gave was that where you have patience, you should find your impatience. So find the negative part even if it feels like you are kind of OK. 

I have not felt jealousy to my memory. I don't know what the opposite of jealousy is. Detachment? It feels like I don't process or have interest in other people enough to have jealousy. Even if they have things that are desireable. 

But since thinking this kind of thing I have kind of got an intuitive jealousy. I felt a little jealous reading Neitzsche and feeling like he is a genius. A genius in a way I am not. 

While, that seems like a good result... technically. It doesn't feel interesting or real. To find the completeness in myself is to be able to understand jealousy. But I feel like it is a very false sense of jealousy. Like a thought wearing the clothes of a feeling. 

Another place though I did feel legitimate emotions. I have struggled with my music for a while. I play guitar and like making songs that seem to arrive intuitively. Often it is a bit like channeling in a sense. The words kind of say things that are quite insightful. That rhyme well. That I do not feel like I personally made up. 

As a small aside. While I did at one time think I was kind of channeling. Like the music was from some unquestionable place. My insight from Neitzsche though is that the will to power working through someone isn't necessarily grasping at pure truth to channel it through me. It is grasping anything it can to make a good song!

But anyway, back to what I was saying. Discovering emotions and such. Working with them. I have mentioned before how the Communion seems to be directing me towards gaining skill and less towards actually making the music. 

What I realised when I started to make a song. Was that the emotion contained in creating a song is like a river. The theme was based on the betrayal I feel via people like Nigel Farage. People that have betrayed the cause. I was once going to make that same song over David Wilcock and got an intuition not to. It was only later I realised why this is. David Wilcock was not a predator. He was a mentally unwell man. 

The amount of emotion involved in actually making songs feels like it would derail the rest of my life. But holding that ability within the general life architecture of guitar skills might give it the appropriate vessel to not overwhelm me.

There are additional points here I can make in my examination of healing in general. Starting, as the Law of One does, with the mind and understanding of emotions. For the moment, that's all I have to say.  

 

Video on cult leader using Law of One material.

So, this is the video I want to work on today:

Youtube: Mark Vincente and Aaron Abke: Bentinho Massaro Behind the Mask. Episode 8: May 24th 2026:

https://youtu.be/q27H8PXwEBE?si=PAWrXdsC_DzhgXkT

As will become obvious perhaps as I talk this through. I am quite a stickler when it comes to Law of One teachings. A little obsessive. 

Aarons main thing is Christianity, in his specific interpretations. He had said at one point he has read the Law of One 12 times. But for me, the Law of One IS my main thing. While I do find Christianity legitimate and it is my faith in a sense. It is secondary to the Law of One itself and mainly is a thing in my life because, on top of my own experiences. The Law of One and Carla Rueckert, seemed to encourage it.  

It is a beautiful thing having no status sometimes. As a person that is disabled. For many years I existed in a neurotic state with no self awareness. I really do not have any status. No power over anyone outside a small personal circle. No girlfriend, no career, and no internet presence aside from this blog, and an X account where most tweets don't even get a single like. 

I preface with all that because, I really think very highly of Aaron Abke. With the possible single disagreement of his veganism. But what Aaron has done here is that he has answered the questions in good faith but where he has said 'the Law of One says'. I don't know if it did say precisely that in every instance.

Unfortunately, for brevity I also am not going to quote every single passage I am using. There will likely come a day when I can do so. I have recalled many of them specifically. But not all of them right at the moment and I will likely be using a great deal of the Law of One in this post. Even searching for a quote can be exhausting because you are picking through profundity all the time.  

I should specifically point out here that Aaron is very young for his unbelievable achievements. He may not have had any time to independently come to the points I will bring in. If those are to act as a critique.  

The questions here were things like... What does the Law of One say about the service to self?

There are very specific things it said about the service to self. But of those specific things. It said little in total. The channeled work never really laid it out in any proper way that I am aware of. There is this quote, that would be relevant to what the conversation was talking about reference, "Service to others" and "Service to self":

Questioner: Can you tell me what bias creates their momentum toward the chosen path of service to self?

Ra: I am Ra. We can speak only in metaphor. Some love the light. Some love the darkness. It is a matter of the unique and infinitely various Creator choosing and playing among its experiences as a child upon a picnic. Some enjoy the picnic and find the sun beautiful, the food delicious, the games refreshing, and glow with the joy of creation. Some find the night delicious, their picnic being pain, difficulty, sufferings of others, and the examination of the perversities of nature. These enjoy a different picnic.

All these experiences are available. It is free will of each entity which chooses the form of play, the form of pleasure.

The discussion in this video also mentioned the pull of terms like 'service to others', into something like codependence. It was stated in the Law of One that if we are to pray to God we are doing the service to others thing. 

The conversation was about a dude who has apparently taken the sheen of the Law of One and become a cult leader. A kind of perverted weirdo. Who uses it a lot to try and get women into bed the whole time. 

Where I think a person could go with this in terms of definitions. Is that the Law of One does not say a lot about the service to self. In my understanding. It does not say, for instance, that they are super charming and well put together. Our contemporary literature on psychopaths does that. 

The contact said that a negative entity experiences anger in order to harvest energy out of others (46.9). That the negative entity sees everyone as inferior to it and that they should be guided by its force (50.6). This same quote in session 50 also discussed how the negative likes to form a cult. That the negative entity looks good because they use their appearance to manipulate others. (Can't quote this by memory yet!) It does talk about them forming cults in a sense. 

While it is a good beginning. I do not really think what the Law of One provides is really enough. The Law of One is a disconnected very cerebral source. The information is relevant but, it lacks with it the real gritty language and awareness which needs to be brought to bear when dealing with the negative in the real world as many of us do do. It needs some sort of instinctual understanding and some sort of first principles. The Law of One often wasn't questioned down to first principles, I don't think. 

So while yes, more needs to be said, like perhaps that they are specifically charming. The Law of One didn't necessarily say that.  

There is another place that this is also relevant. The need to have wisdom and information from outside of the Law of One to discuss the Law of One. Bentinho apparently says he is a sixth density wanderer. 

In my view, there is an entire philosophical discussion that needs to be had about how much status a person should gain from... even if they were legitimate, information they have from their past lives and/ or deeper selves. I believe several people in the world are sixth density wanderers. Does that make them perfect? No. Enlightened? Not necessarily. Immune from being a douchebag sometimes? Definitely not. 

The Wanderer becomes completely the creature of third density when they come here. That means they can be as mad as anyone else. 

There is more to say here I think is very relevant. Bentinho's output is... to me... completely incoherent. It's all just word salad that means nothing, but it is enough to fool some people with a leaning towards this material because it tends to use words like 'truth', 'forgiveness', mixed in with heavy conspiracy.

But Aaron doesn't say that. Many of the people posting on Marks videos do not either. I think this is the product of trauma. Dissociation can make anything "spiritual" and not tied to the real world sound good. What he says is that the negative carefully mixes in a tiny kernel of evil with positive spiritual stuff. 

No it doesn't. It mixes in word salad and the word salad itself is poisonous enough. Session 12.27 of the Law of One is fairly clear that 'love', is a behaviour. It is not words. I think this is a confusion in general in the spiritual community. Partly because it is heavily populated by women, and it has become homogenised to female perspectives. (That the thing women can do naturally, look after children and care for things, is the inherently most important virtue, and none others is really important). I credit this particular issue as contributing, as not the major part, to my schizophrenic break. Literally me trying to bend my spirit into a homogenised perspective where it wouldn't go. 

Most of the overly loving output of the spiritual communities is itself negatively inspired I believe. It saps the energy of fighting evildoers. One time when the group were discussing in detail Carla's 'greeting' by a negative entity. It had two targets. One was to further block her indigo chakra. Blocked from low self worth. The other was to expand the heart chakra. To overactivate her.  

I would say it is heavy and tiring even reading any of Bentinhos word salad output. At the end of the day a lot of the problems he is creating do not need a careful examination of the Law of One to explain how he is going "wrong"... or more accurately, "deceiving". The guy is a creepy nutjob and you do not need a Law of One quote to tell you that. You need common sense. 

It is like when Emory Smith told Vanilla Sky Dreaming that he had aliens landing in his garden and she believed him. It doesn't need a Law of One quote to explain what that is likely not happening. I could give you one, 61.9. But there is a certain groundedness and common sense that is just needed to function properly in life. 

And we've all been there as well. We've all been young and idealistic. Most of us that have been in the spiritual spaces. I used to follow David Wilcock. But there comes a time to 'put childish things behind us', as Aarons favourite apostle (jk) once said in the bible.  

Investigating healing.

Just a quick note.

I am personally working on this line in the Law of One. I have stopped going further in my current reading:

Questioner: We have decided to accept, if offered, the honor/duty of learning/teaching the healing process. I would ask as to the first step which we should accomplish in becoming effective healers.

Ra: I am Ra. We shall begin with the first of the three teachings/learnings.

We begin with the mental learn/teachings necessary for contact with intelligent infinity. The prerequisite of mental work is the ability to retain silence of self at a steady state when required by the self. The mind must be opened like a door. The key is silence.

Within the door lies an hierarchical construction you may liken unto geography and in some ways geometry, for the hierarchy is quite regular, bearing inner relationships.

To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

The second mental discipline is acceptance of the completeness within your consciousness. It is not for a being of polarity in the physical consciousness to pick and choose among attributes, thus building the roles that cause blockages and confusions in the already-distorted mind complex. Each acceptance smoothes part of the many distortions that the faculty you call judgment engenders.

The third discipline of the mind is a repetition of the first but with the gaze outward towards the fellow entities that it meets. In each entity there exists completeness. Thus, the ability to understand each balance is necessary. When you view patience, you are responsible for mirroring in your mental understanding, patience/impatience. When you view impatience, it is necessary for your mental configuration of understanding to be impatience/patience. We use this as a simple example. Most configurations of mind have many facets, and understanding of either self polarities, or what you would call other-self polarities, can and must be understood as subtle work.

The next step is the acceptance of the other-self polarities, which mirrors the second step.

These are the first four steps of learning mental discipline. The fifth step involves observing the geographical and geometrical relationships and ratios of the mind, the other mind, the mass mind, and the infinite mind.

The second area of learn/teaching is the study/understanding of the body complexes. It is necessary to know your body well. This is a matter of using the mind to examine how the feelings, the biases, what you would call the emotions, affect various portions of the body complex. It shall be necessary to both understand the bodily polarities and to accept them, repeating in a chemical/physical manifestation the work you have done upon the mind bethinking the consciousness.

The body is a creature of the mind’s creation. It has its biases. The biological bias must be first completely understood and then the opposite bias allowed to find full expression in understanding. Again, the process of acceptance of the body as a balanced, as well as polarized, individual may then be accomplished.

It is then the task to extend this understanding to the bodies of the other-selves whom you will meet. The simplest example of this is the understanding that each biological male is female; each biological female is male. This is a simple example. However, in almost every case wherein you are attempting the understanding of the body of self or other-self, you will again find that the most subtle discernment is necessary in order to fully grasp the polarity complexes involved.

At this time we would suggest closing the description until the next time of work so that we may devote time to the third area commensurate with its importance.

We can answer a query if it is a short one before we leave this instrument.

A damn long quote. The only relevant bit is the first two parts. The first part is to be able to keep the mind clear... So... regular meditation. I am now doing regular meditation and aiming for 21 days.  

The part following has that you need to identify parts of yourself. Like, where you have anger, you find it's opposite... What is the opposite of anger? I don't know. Passivity?

This is an area I have not previously been that interested in. So I have a lot of stuff to figure out, even if only to investigate. I do have a book on this area. First, before we even get there. I need to identify the different emotions. This is a common therapeutic technique and language. The idea is that a lot of people can't identify their emotions as they have a lack of ways to describe them. Therapy ideas in this area give people a huge list of emotions to choose from. 

It might end up that, as I thought before. I am just not suited to healing in general. It might end up that I have to get back to music, philosophy, and the types of things I talk about here. The Law of One says clearly in session 4 that healing is only one distortion of the Law of One. Assumedly that means that not everyone is 'distorted' in that particular direction.

Reflection on some human design transits.

I want to write a blog today. But if I am honest with myself. I am probably too low energy to write a blog. I am compelled to go to the gym. But the huge amount of highly fatty foods I have been eating to sustain it. Constant bacon and sausages. Means that my liver is struggling a bit I think. Will have to finally stop going to the gym for a little while. Even though I love it and feel compelled often. Just so I can eat a few vegetables. 

The combination of the gym and meditation feels like the golden thing for me though. Both of those things get rid of a lot of the crappy thoughts I have. The gym via just exercising out a lot of tensions and wearing me out too much to think much about sexuality. Meditation, by raising me up and making me feel a little above all the crappy concerns that sometimes bother me. I feel intuitively far more comfortable with thoughts that I identify as being difficult for me. 

A few things I want to say. Several articles I think and I don't have the energy to write it all now. I will have to try and choose only a few things. I might be able to get to each thing by being brief. 

The first, is that I had an insight based on the human design transits the other day. That stuff is all constantly whirring for me. When Venus was in 18.4 and Mars was in 15.4.

The Venus thing potentially correlates with me stopping porn. As I talked about recently. Or, I stopped it rather, when the Online Safety Act came in. But I mentioned it having an effect on my psyche. My conscious Neptune in the human design reads:

"A genius for perverse stimulation that afflicts oneself and others by promoting degeneracy and reducing joy to indulgence and decadence. The energy which fuels the drive for perverse stimulation". 

One of the gates I still wonder about. A thing I have done in the past that matches this quite exactly is that I can write erotic fiction that is dark. Nasty stuff. (Obviously it is the kind of porn I would choose, but the porn I would watch is never nearly as bad. The reddit stories are though sometimes! It's all stuff to do with adults) But without a female partner, or indeed anybody, to talk these things over with. It has not gone anywhere. I don't want to be a pervert that makes sick stories that everyone is frightened of and thinks is weird. I would need to confirm some of these things do turn on other people. Nevertheless, the 58 links to the gate 18.

I have often wondered if this is the right thing. If I am meant to hold that perverse sexual energy or if that is not what the line refers to? If that is not self in some manner? In the blog the other day, I was talking about how the way David Wilcock talked about conspiracy and linked it all to the Law of One, was a perversion of those more spiritual drives. Perhaps this kind of thing is more what the line in Neptune is talking about? This also links specifically to Neptune. But it also is more of an insight than an active, energetic... perversion. A placement in a chart seems more than a single insight. It should be working everyday.

Looking up the 58.2 before I wrote this and predictably. In the modern spiritual trend of toxic positivity. They have changed the definition to mean something else completely. Even though Ra Uru Hu specifically said this is what it means and gave examples.  

Mars in the gate 15.4. Mars seems to be linked to the insights I get by going to the gym. It also was strongly correlated with the kind of bullying I used to get in an office job. There was a time in my life where astrology was just so precise. (This is an interesting connection. Mars being both the bullying and the cleansing of a lot of those stuff as I go to the gym!)

Gate 15 refers to someone in my life that has this gate partly. Which I would have insights about when I went to the gym doing weights. This was an unsolved issue. When I was doing the gym and Mars was between 15.1 - 3 I had insights about that person specifically. When it got to the 4th line it suddenly Universalised. I do think the gate 4, the heart chakra or G Self. Is very linked to 'Universalisation'. 

And Universalisation I realise, is a very, very, important and powerful thing. I got this from Stefan Molyneux and it is one of the first principles of his 'Universally Preferable Behaviour'.

Universality basically means that if we experience reality in one area, our brain automatically applies it to everything. So the example in child psychology is that if a child is shown a tree. They automatically know what a tree is in every part of the world. 

This, it seems to me, is a huge part of why karma is real. But explained not with any metaphysical or even reference to physical laws. Explained through purely secular and verifiable means. 

If everything we do starts to be applied universally. Then people that take on bizarre behaviours. This has to universalise to their other relationships.

A lot of different examples of this. I find it noticeable sometimes how much of a solid behaviour jealousy is. You can give more information to people about the person they are jealous of. But the jealousy remains. You can explain that if they were to have put the same time into gaining the same thing. They would not have the things in their life they do love. 

It changes nothing. There was a time when I thought it would. But it really doesn't. A person who is jealous is trapped with the jealousy it seems. Or they are unwilling to see outside of it. 

For me, the Law of One makes jealousy very difficult as it shows very strongly how we are simply so unique we cannot have what the other has. 

There are other examples though. Imagine a girl that has a lot of attention in her twenties. Who starts to deal with every single relationship as one of transactions. Of carefully managing the men in her life for maximum exploitation. If a relationship comes up this model is not suitable for. Say a family one. Isn't it likely she will still use this kind of mechanism in dealing with 'the other'?

It would go the same for male pick up artists. Those techniques they use. They start off being used on women. I see them almost daily on my X feed. Things like not tolerating the excuses that women have to not sleep with a guy on the first date. Dropping them if they are too annoying. Loads of techniques like not being too needy or sending multiple texts.

It is very unlikely to me that this same set of behaviours won't then be used on other men in their lives eventually. How many years of using these patterns on women does it take for a person to just start reflexively using them in their lives? Like, when a woman does x, you apply pressure in y way. Perhaps this would not happen when a person has their full energy to think about things. "This is a guy, he will not respond the same way". Or even "I wouldn't want him to respond in the same way, I don't need this guy desperate to be with me". But life is a big complex affair that we rarely have our full energy to apply. 

Wouldn't it make sense these things would also be applied to male friends and family? Work colleagues? A lot of the people it was never intended for? After ten years, say, of using these same techniques on women all the time?

These are two small examples of behaviours that are just a bit off. There is nothing massively wrong with these two. The guys with the hot chick will have to realise she is wasting their time. The girls of the player. Well, they know what they are getting. Or at least they were told. The players don't lie usually. 

But even these two examples of things that all happen within consentual dynamics could create REAL problems for the people involved. While the society is so dysfunctional people aren't really getting the result of their actions. But even in the society as it is. Every so often these types of people will run up against people that are more powerful than them. More intelligent. Or even, by alienating the good people, they will find themselves in the jaws of a more dangerous person. As the women that alienate the nice guys and end up with a narcissist since he's the only one that will pursue past her entitled personality. 

This same concept I'm sure, can be applied to more serious ethical breaches. Not in a way I really know of. The examples that I used earlier on when I was trying to show that not all people that behave unethically are poor little souls that need to be looked after, as the left believes. The example I used was women doing cheating and making it as cruel as possible. No one is making anyone else cheat. You can have a bad relationship maybe - I would say that a man whose wife refuses to sleep with him, thus forcing him into celibacy. There is some case that can be made there I think. But the situations they are describing are not that. They are doing unethical things, because it turns them on. The motivating force is sexual satisfaction.  

In those instances, again, I have not consciously known people that have done this. And been close enough to see how the behaviour and mindset 'universalises' into their lives. But I am pretty sure, that from this theory. This does indeed happen. 

So those are some thoughts. Like I said this was with Mars in gate 15.4 and Venus in gate 18.4. Having a few thoughts on transits. I have noticed 4th line influences do immediately turn an insight from specific to an individual to suddenly relevant more universally. 5th line days carry a kind of anger and a kind of desire to push against power. But also a kind of clear breath and insight... 5 is the line of the throat chakra. 

6th line, I don't really know. Perhaps the entire perspective? The spiritualising of it? As I write this now. Mars is in 15.6 and Venus is in 18.6.

Anyway, that's all I have for today. I have some updated thoughts on Session 5.2. and thinking it through that I didn't get to. 

The primacy of meditation.

Video for today:

Youtube: Brandon Clark: I can't take it anymore. August 12th 2026:

https://youtu.be/L3asM4iiBDo?si=Mm-kl0SFRSNjddVo

I put a comment on this persons video. But it was a comment about how I had also avoided 'victim mindset' by being appreciative of things. Which is something I am working on. Rather than looking back on my past and regretting my health conditions preventing me from socialising and getting established. I thought perhaps I should appreciate that they lead me to spend loads of time thinking through this kind of stuff. 

But, it is not of the mindset of the kinds of people that make or view that video and the comment just sat there with no likes. So I deleted it. I often delete comments recently. 

As a summary then. This guy is talking about how he coaches a lot of guys. And a lot of guys have what he calls a "victim mindset". In that they keep making excuses for why they couldn't exercise. Things like 'I was travelling and couldn't work out'. But he has given his clients body weight exercises to do when you can't go to the gym. Things like that.

I do not struggle with disciplining myself to go to the gym. The reason being, is that when you are ill and unemployed; you have to invest a lot in leisure. So actually doing things constructive becomes the novelty. I know it sounds bad. But I have been very ill in the past. I am getting better now. But that is the reality of the situation. When you have periods where you cannot do anything. Like, you CANNOT do anything constructive, because of illness. What you do in the day for leisure kind of becomes the 'main event'. Since the illness is causing stress, kind of like how a job would. So you need mental time off from that as well.

Plus, for whatever reason it is. I don't struggle with motivation to get to the gym. Perhaps it is high stress levels which only the gym seems able to meet. 

But there is one area where I do struggle to motivate myself. And one extremely important area for my life...

Meditation. 

One of the things that has stopped me a few times is exhaustion. Like, after surgery. But even that is not a great excuse. I find prayer to be exhausting sometimes. I don't have the energy for it if I have been in a particularly hard workout or something. But meditation... It isn't actually a huge energy expenditure. I just don't do it because I don't want to do it. Outside the times when I do. 

The psychological effect of meditation I have found to be so unbelievably powerful. A distinct change towards a positive frame of mind. A distinct change to less of any kind of victim mindset. A slight but significant increase in intuition. That really mounts up. Just making very decision 10% better.

In effect. The world when I meditate vs. the world when I don't meditate is a functionally different place. So if I have the option of two different world views. One is the meditation world view. One is the normal world view... Which should I choose?

Obviously the former. To this end I am trying to figure out what would increase my likelihood at regularly meditating. I think, doing it at the same time everyday would help. So that is what I plan to do.  

Eclipse post. (Nietzsche, Creative Work, Communion).

Todays eclipse:

Eclipses were always a big part of my experience of astrology. In about 2017, for a period of a few years. Every time there was an eclipse. Often, down to the day, there would be something really powerful happening in my life. A kind of turning point. An important decision. 

More recently this has not been so obvious. Although, I have had an insight that I need to be less 'specific' about it. Rather than going into the technicals, thinking of it like a "Leo eclipse", might be helpful. Think of it generally in the terms that are relevant to Leo. 

I am in the UK where this can be seen. I have been near a landmark where easily a thousand people were gathered. And that is only one of them. Not even the beach, which would have been way more busy. People really like the eclipse obviously. I wonder if astrology has something to do that? Something deep, ancestral and unconscious? Or they just... like the eclipse?

For me, I suspect this has to do with my recent investigation of philosophy. Specifically Nietzsche. 

I already feel like I am getting insights and I have hardly touched the book. Nietzsche believed that peoples instinct, even philosophers. Was not towards truth itself. That it was their life force and a 'will to power' that simply takes what it can to increase it's power. If that is truth or lack of truth.

An insight from the Law of One.  

Nietzsche makes the point (in my understanding) that we cannot technically follow a 'non truth'. Because it doesn't exist. It would be a feature of madness. 

This has a lot of interesting implications. In the early parts of the Law of One, in the introduction. There is an interesting quote that might relate to this:

We have watched your group. We have been called to your group, for you have a need for the diversity of experiences in channeling which go with a more intensive, or as you might call it, advanced approach to the system of studying the patterns of the illusions of your body, your mind, and your spirit, which you call seeking the truth. We hope to offer you a somewhat different slant upon the information which is always and ever the same. 

So what we think we are doing is 'seeking the truth'. But what we are actually doing is 'studying the patterns of illusions of your body, mind and spirit'.

It's an interesting way to deconstruct how we see things. Truth is a concept that is hard to define for me. I don't take a super objective approach. To define truth something like 'that which we can confirm with our senses'. Omits a lot of very subjective things that people believe and feel are true. 

Where this is going is that it makes me redefine myself. How I perceive myself and such. If I look at myself as not seeking the truth, which is how I saw myself. But as of finding things like the Law of One as part of my 'will to power'. It starts to deconstruct everything. It justifies not paying attention to 'transcient' information. The pull of that is that it is 'seeking truth'. It also allows me to legitimately analyse others motives along those lines. I have always seen this in other people. But until I have considered it my own motivation, I won't properly see this in others, I don't think. 

This has one further potential application. 

I have struggled recently with an annoying little "side thing" in figuring things out. Recently, I stopped Communion for a while. It was terrible. I was very much weakened in my body. Dissociated. Didn't really enjoy the gym. But I did get one thing. My feelings were powerful and raw. I was able to do something that is really important to me. I was able to write a new song. 

It really just flowed. I love the song. It had both the overriding rhyming scheme and several other rhyming schemes within the verses. Music, as far as I was aware, is something that is really important for me. Perhaps my 'reason for being'. 

The effect of Communion. 

But like I say, when I do Communion, I can't make those sorts of songs. I haven't made those sorts of songs for years now. But my body is a LOT stronger. I am motivated to go to the gym a lot. I am also not subject to demonic hallucinatory like things. Dissociation. It is not a reasonable option whether to do the Communion or not. I have decided I am doing it. But the music addition is interesting. (I do a lot more skill based stuff with the Communion. Scales etc.)

But, with this 'will to power' thing I think I can understand a bit of the psychology here. When I play music. I do not feel like I get a lot of choice in what to write. I can struggle to do that. I can write poems and such. But the real music comes when I am playing and just fits. Often saying something insightful that I didn't even realise myself. 

I think I have mythologised that. In my view internally when I play songs I am playing the truth or channeling in some manner. But, the truth might be is that when I am creating a song. I am simply creating a song, and I grab anything, subconsciously, in order to create it. 

This starts to give me an understanding of what the mechanism is. When I am not taking the Communion. I am happy to write the song with my existing feelings. And this is not, contrary to what I thought. Any kind of 'channeling'. But simply a relationship with my subconscious mind.

When I take the Communion though. My outlook is changed. Part of me is no longer satisfied with the kind of songs I am making in that space. The last one was an open admission of my anger at women. With the Communion. The focus is more on taking that kind of anger to the gym and transmuting it. 

Reflection on the red pill.

When I was close to the people doing watching the eclipse today. I looked into their cars and it was just normal people. But a whole lot of couples. I realise, that me in my insular life. Looks at things very differently than a lot of the world. Most people out there, still have what is a normal ish life. They go out with their partner. They go out with groups of friends. They do all the 'normal' things.

The world from the statistics of the red pill doesn't look like that. So many videos about 'men walking away' just isn't reflected in the real world. 

I have had a fair few times when some real world information has made me doubt some part of it. One time was talking to a woman about her past and realising, that information I got from the red pill was not represented. She had dated all sorts of nutters. She was not going exclusively for 'Chad'. It was a strong, emotional, sensation, that still sticks with me.

Another was working at a place with a bunch of young women and they were all settling down and a lot of them getting married. I did not see any of the crazy party twenties the red pill tells you to expect.

Not that I have not seen exactly what the red pill predicts. But there is something wrong somewhere here with the model.  

To link this to what I was saying then. It could be that when I take the Communion. I am no longer happy with creating music from the substance that is my life. Perhaps because it would not be correct in some manner. But there is every chance that after the spiritual tools I used have actually palpably improved my life. I will have a different set of information to draw from.

Or none of this is right and I am just trying to understand Nietzsche, and adding up stuff which doesn't quite connect!  

On healing.

I had a long blog planned on the subject of porn. Since the UK government has put in the Online Safety Act. I have not watched it. I do not want to give the government my info to watch porn and I don't want to use a VPN. I don't care enough about porn to look for it under these circumstances.

It seems to have changed my thoughts and mindset significantly. I really saw nothing wrong with it before. Like, I really didn't. Especially because I am chronically single with not a lot of chance of getting into a sexual relationship. When people discuss porn it is always framed in a certain way. It is often framed by women that men have this super objectifying sense towards women if they watch porn. 

But, being women, I don't think they have any particular clue what it does. For me, it has seemed to have done the opposite. I have become distinctly less positive towards women since stopping porn. I have gotten over a kind of feeling that women are super cute and lovely, and have become more of what feels 'objective' about them. Most of the workplaces I have been at. The messages I have sent with a few small exceptions. Women have treated me in a very unpleasant manner, and it feels like I should emotionally acknowledge that. Or that I simply have on some level. 

But, like I said, something else has come in to interfere with my natural thought process today. 

I am reading the Law of One properly this time. I have read it twice recently. But I am reading it as to make careful notes on it. It is a way of reading that I would like to use a lot. You can't do that with fiction. Or, at least, it doesn't seem logical to. But philosophy, science, psychology. To retain the information and make it go deep, those kinds of notes are very useful. When you make notes you can link the information to things you already know or believe. 

Reading it properly though. Making notes. Considering things. Deepens the understanding and depth of the material. We all have a kind of Dunning Kruger I think where when we first see things we underestimate their complexity. This is true of philosophy. People just think they have perfect moral reasoning because they exist. But when you go into philosophy, (which is one of the highest IQ majors), you start to feel your brain rewiring. You realise that life itself is more complicated than you assumed. 

As it is with the Law of One. There is so much of it that is kind of easy. That just sounds basic. Like 'One Infinite Creator'. That could have been written by a person. But the more you go into it. The more "alien" it becomes. The more you re read things and realise they are significant. Even though you might have skimmed them before. Some things, like this, are just so utterly alien that I don't know where to being with it:

To begin to master the concept of mental discipline it is necessary to examine the self. The polarity of your dimension must be internalized. Where you find patience within your mind you must consciously find the corresponding impatience and vice versa. Each thought that a being has, has in its turn an antithesis. The disciplines of the mind involve, first of all, identifying both those things of which you approve and those things of which you disapprove within yourself, and then balancing each and every positive and negative charge with its equal. The mind contains all things. Therefore, you must discover this completeness within yourself.

This is from session 5.2.

No idea where to go with this. But I have talked before about not being able to find ways of healing. This is a different healing than most of them. It is not energy healing or working with nutrition. Or any of the usual healing methods. So perhaps it offers some light in the improving of health?

The exhausting game of spiritual teachings.

Writing another post, the last one was just a few hours ago.

I have been writing a lot slower for a while. Perhaps I am making up for that. Also, the sun is out, and it unbalances my medical condition. I have already had inconveniences. That combined with collapse at the gym at roughly the same time means this week will probably be spent doing very little so that means, I will likely prioritise spirituality a great deal this week. With spirituality comes the outlet of said spirituality in the form of this blog. I have trouble at about 26 degrees. It will be 31 later this week. 

Youtube: Melissa Dougherty: Bizarre Channeled Spirits, Jesus & Truth: May 6th 2025:

https://youtu.be/StGJwBNybjo?si=zP-ycDpD9xQeMevv

To me, this is an extremely annoying and incoherent video. Perhaps that is not the fault of the woman making it. Perhaps it is. 

The first part that is annoying. Not wrong necessarily. Is her characterisation of new age teaching, including the Law of One. There is a problem I have started to perceive out there in the world. That is, that nobody is really teaching the Law of One, what I would consider... "properly". When I say properly, I do not mean like the people at llresearch where if you bring up an argument against forgiveness without contrition. Reference session 34.6, and things like the Law of Free Will. They ignore you. Just ignore you. Don't engage with the material. 

This is not a person that can teach the material then. 

I have searched far and wide for teachers in this area. Probably not that far and wide since I would prefer to just read the book. But I remember going through llresearch's links page and finding a few people. The last one I went on there was an article something like: "Charlie Kirks subtle and dangerous demonisation of minorities". 

The Law of One reddit was practically orgasmic when Charlie was shot. Not the main people perhaps. And everyone can go on a reddit sub. But I thought that was interesting all the same. There was no one defending Charlie. There were pro him getting shot and neutral. So Llresearch attracts leftists clearly. 

Aaron Abke isn't much of an exception to this in my view. Firstly, Aaron doesn't actually teach the Law of One, not at all. He teaches veganism, and the Law of One did not support that. He is quoted in this video talking about having to 'destroy the ego' and all that:

Questioner: Can you tell me how you balance the ego?

Ra: I am Ra. We cannot work with this concept as it is misapplied and understanding cannot come from it.

The problem with the Law of One is that NO ONE is getting it right. Llresearch teaches forgiveness without contrition. I have found enough Q'uo readings, and got enough refusal to discuss the issue from the people there to know that. There are many other points they would not like to be challenged on. Many things they just stop speaking if you bring up the subject. 

So yes, Melissa summarises what she thinks new age beliefs are in this area and gets it wrong. Is that her fault? or is it because no one is coherently teaching it? Aaron is teaching what he believes, not what the Law of One teaches. At least, not exactly. 

Another issue I have with her video is that there are really a lot of claims in Aaron Abke's works. Like, videos and videos of them. That she goes nowhere near addressing. I suppose you can't do that in a one hour video. But the points she replaced these with were not particularly compelling.

For instance, one thing Aaron talks about is that when Paul met Jesus on the road to Damascus. What he claims was Jesus. When Paul had his vision. He was blinded by Jesus. Does that sound like Jesus? Jesus was a healer of the sick and the blind in many cases. Does it seem like Jesus would do that?

Also, in one of the biblical books. A woman possessed by a demon followed Paul and two friends for three days espousing the greatness of Pauls message. 

I am not saying these things are correct. I have myself not been able to go all the way with Aarons teachings. As I have talked about recently. But to push back against a spiritual teacher. Does it not seem at least polite to push back on his technical points? Aaron has laid out a powerful and highly technical argument. Does it seem fair. Does it seem 'good faith'. To just ignore all those points and then write a video repeating the mainstream Christian points with only one biblical quote?

Anyway, it did suddenly make me wonder what I thought of all this? Where I put myself if any of these incredibly mind numbing points were to come up in conversation.  

For anyone here that followed me due to the Law of One and has any loyalty to its material. I think you would likely share my understanding that Carla being so incredibly Christian has leant credence to Christianity and perhaps set her up as an idol in that manner? Also, it seems to have been given a subtle nod by the contact itself. As though looking at the books beckons you on the path of Christianity. When I found it I was an atheist. 

Carla, had faith, real faith. Carla used her faith to get through the whole thing with daily arthritis. But... well I don't have that same faith. My faith, my ideas and thoughts and things, come with a lot of questions. 

For me, it is all more of a trial and error thing. I pray, it works well, stop praying, get ill. I do communion, it works well, stop communion. Get ill. Have a whole spiritual crisis and dissociation. 

When I had a serious schizophrenic break (as serious as it gets!) I felt my mind unravelling, and I felt 'Jesus' holding me together after I prayed to him. So it feels a little dishonest to not identify myself as at least 'kind of' Christian. 

This same thing works with all the things I currently use. Meditation. Dream Interpretation etc.  

But even engaging with any of these people simply sounds so completely exhausting! The bible is one book that has had many different political events surrounding it. It has been copied and screwed with many times. I just... find it very unsatisfying to even look at it that much. For me, it was convincing that Paul was the one that started off Communion and it wasn't necessarily a Jesus thing. I tried to stop Communion, and it did not go well at all! So trying to understand the bible and its meaning. While everything practically useful comes from the Law of One itself! 

It's honestly all just so exhausting.

I also wanted to end with a little joke as well. This women defines truth at the end as something that is objective. Like, the sky is blue because we can see its blue kind of thing. This is a person that believes that a mythical figure from the distant past takes away all her sin if she does something wrong. That that figure actually experiences her sin. Or did in one powerful moment about 2000 years ago. 

That is just not objective at all.  

Judging mental health, and the perversion of spiritual energy.

Second post for today.

Went for a bit of a walk and even though it is not exactly 'gym' kind of stuff (I so so so want to go back there but I got indications I should take a longer break this time). A walk does get rid of that kind of "angsty" energy. Maybe like ten minute aerobic I will do next.

There are two completely separate points I want to make here. One that I might have made before. But I want to say it again, just because it is becoming relevant in my life. The other is, I think a kind of new point where I talk about the damage that David Wilcocks kind of material does to a person. And about growing up as well. 

Firstly, I want to state what I have discerned about dealing with people that might be genuinely sick. But might be lying (as many do) when it comes to mental health disorders and ideological madness. (Like, are they fooled by the arguments or are they actually committed to negative ideals?)

This video has informed me on this. I like this girl a lot. I admire her passion on a subject I also have passion on. The correctness of right wing beliefs and the madness of left wing beliefs. And the importance of a commitment to spiritual ideals. She's also very pretty. Actually pretty facially not just a good body. This helps with spreading such a message I think:

Youtube: TaylorIsOnline0: Degeneracy and leftism#: January 27th 2026:

https://youtube.com/shorts/CV_h4Bs4WU8?si=Kgoo02lz3iCfr_TX 

This is a good example of someone that made a choice to be ill in a sense. Not like the case of someone that pretends to be ill to gain resources. But someone for whom mental health was not a legitimate thing. That the mental health issue was a cover for a disturbed conscience.

I think many issues like this are contained within these two Law of One quotes:

Questioner: I am interested in how the first distortion applies to the negatively polarized entity misplacing the mind/body/spirit complex. Why is the negatively polarized entity followed to the place of negative time/space? Why would one of us freely follow the entity?

Ra: I am Ra. The positive polarity sees love in all things. The negative polarity is clever.

This is where I sometimes place it when say, someone you know personally and is not overly intellectual commits to left wing beliefs. Left wing beliefs, which are of course, completely malevolent. But this is how I justify that they do not deserve in the deeper sense. The natural consequence of their actions. Which would be to be violated by one of the refugees they are so desperate to bring into the country. (Which has happened to other individuals because of their wilful blindness and voting choices).

This is the second quote that might apply to these situations though:

Questioner: Can you tell me what bias creates their momentum toward the chosen path of service to self?

Ra: I am Ra. We can speak only in metaphor. Some love the light. Some love the darkness. It is a matter of the unique and infinitely various Creator choosing and playing among its experiences as a child upon a picnic. Some enjoy the picnic and find the sun beautiful, the food delicious, the games refreshing, and glow with the joy of creation. Some find the night delicious, their picnic being pain, difficulty, sufferings of others, and the examination of the perversities of nature. These enjoy a different picnic.

All these experiences are available. It is free will of each entity which chooses the form of play, the form of pleasure.

When I talked about this before, the example I gave before was from the dark recesses of reddit. On a reddit sub where women talk about cheating and making it as cruel as possible to their husbands to get off on it. This is a clear example of something that isn't something they are fooled into. Sex is very much a choice. I would argue. These are behaviours taken on for hedonistic pleasure. With awareness of their consequences. 

Bear in mind this kind of behaviours 'karma' in a sense, might reach into another part of their lives. Say their husband, being unsupported, had something negative happen that the woman then complains about but had she not been like this, he would have had the energy to maintain a positive life?

There are hundreds of deliberate little choices people can make which are choices. A lot of ways their own negative choices which they will never reveal would impact them negatively. To which they would then play victim. But also times when good people fall on hard times. 

This is where I put these kinds of moral decisions. There are both people that genuinely have mental health disorders (I have a best friend I knew since I was about 4 and I have seen that he was genuinely very off when he was young, none of it came along due to problems with his conscience and he was committed to therapy from an early age). There are also many whom do not, some of which convince themselves they do. For their own personal convenience. 

When you add it all up it comes to a kind of selfishness, I think. You cannot know what is going on inside someone else if you have known them for less than about a decade. So not knowing, it is hard to judge. And we do need to judge in this life I think. But for me personally, it is also good to realise that there are things that cannot be known.

Bearing in mind, the people that are lying about this kind of thing are the ones most fanatically committed to the lie. They will never admit they are making it up for their benefit. 

Thoughts on transcient material. 

I mentioned a friend I have had since I was young. I reconnected with him recently. It added to thoughts I have already built on. Since I can see how I have changed.

This is my human design chart:

When I am showing people that are new to the chart the human design. I show them that the whole thing adds up to something very intuitively correct. People with energy higher in their centres are focused on higher energy things, the same with lower energy. My father, who was sex obsessed, a very grounded person, has the five lower centres defined. 

With my chart you can see that there is a lot in the higher energy centres. Perhaps not as much as say, a mental projector. But quite high. 

This means that my energy is keyed to thinking of and discussing the kinds of concepts I discuss here. Cerebral things. 

What this comes with, what that kind of awareness also comes with. Is a need to understand free will. Since most people are not interested in such things and it would even be a violation of the law of free will in a lot of cases to tell them. 

In the positive, let's say this is a commitment, as it is with me to music, spirituality and philosophy.

To hold this energy, like I have said, requires a certain awareness of free will. It means, that if I am thinking of a dream interpretation or a quote from Nietzsche; that I do need to keep that to myself, no matter how fantastic I think that is (I do also have "censorship", 26.4, in my unconscious Saturn!)

This is the pattern of energy then. Having energy to focus on this kind of stuff, and with the Law of One. The pressure to bring in an entire paradigm that is otherwordly. Which the everyday world argues against. In a way by it's very existence. But it is all deeply positive and loving. Praying every day, meditating, and knowing that philosophy and ethics are important. Are deeply enriching to life. 

The perversion of the energy. 

But what David Wilcock did. Is he took the bones of the Law of One. But then added in a lot of 'wordly' things to add legitimacy to it. He said he had a secret insider that told him about Roswell. A secret insider that told him that soon enough, the Alliance was going to take over and we would all live in paradise. That David Wilcock alone had the science to create anti gravity hover cars etc. 

What I think this does, is it speaks to a persons desire to overcome free will. Which I think we all constantly desire. The One Infinite Creator laid down free will, and none of us have really accepted it. We all look at the world and want to reorder it in our own image. 

It converts the spiritual energy that invests in things like the Law of One and says: "Look, you do not have to be the only one paying attention to this. The only one that believes this. There is real world evidence it is going to be relevant to the real world soon. It is only fair you warn others".

It brings up in people the conversion of that spiritual energy into a kind of real world material energy that can be used as a weapon in our fight against... reality, in a sense. The world that will not let its secret be known and stubbornly insists that the way of matter is the truth. 

Maturation.

It also prevents the naturally positive and maturing aspects of the energy when it was still positive. For me, philosophy and these kinds of things are interesting. I want to be able to look at the world and understand it through a lens that adds benefit to me psychologically, spiritually etc. This, I would say, is a fairly mature instinct. 

When you are talking about David Wilcock stuff and the more mad parts of the Law of One. It does not have that maturing effect. It is essentially stuff that is not relevant to anything and can be, and perhaps needs to be, written off as crazy. It is a separate part of a persons being. 

What I have noticed as I have met up with old friends again. Is that the conversion of that David Wilcock kind of thinking, into a more philosophical kind of thinking. Means that the positive thing, cannot be dismissed in the same way. It becomes a part of your actual being and thus, it becomes solid and real. If a person liked the you that wasn't into that, they are suddenly confronted with the you that is into that. It provides change to the real world, and people might simply not be interested in that. 

There we go. Got all angsty earlier today which was why the shorter blog post earlier. But that's what I have for today.  

Gym and human design theory.

So, successes.

A few nights ago I went to the gym. I will probably have to take a break from it. My medical condition is known for not being as quick to recover. This feels bad but it is what it is. 

I am get insights from the gym. Often. Insights it does not feel I would normally have. Insights like 'so on so is jealous', when the evidence was clearly there I just didn't want to see it. I have very often mentioned that exercise gives me these kinds of insights and my theory is that, in a man, maybe in a woman too, but I can't speak for women. But in a man, stresses create a mental building block of a kind of information that allows a person to conform in a sense. So, the stress will give me a commitment to not seeing that a bunch of people don't like me as an example. That I am in a room with a bunch of people that dislikes me. This is a danger to me, perhaps not in modern times but in our ancestral past. 

Then when I do exercise. I will suddenly realise all the little signs these people did not like me. Because all the anxiety that is wrapped up in my muscles. All the adrenaline in my blood (even if this is years later) is suddenly cleared. 

Considering my background, and it is not completely pleasant. It is a bit dysfunctional. I have a medical condition that was badly controlled for years. I have a commitment to right wing politics even though I live in a very left wing area and I have been socially ostracised from pretty much every job and social group I have ever been in. Several workplaces they have arranged huge get togethers and invited everyone, (about thirty people), but me, and exclusively me. 

Human Design Theory.

This is probably why I started blogging to be honest. This is probably why I still blog. I have identified that a part of why I became so intense with that kind of information is because I was seeking a belonging in those communities to offset the constant bullying in my real life. 

I am not saying that these emotions are not the standard thing for people to experience given these experiences. But, the perceptual filter of the human design not self being anger, fits with my understanding of my mentality here. I am angry about this. And the anger, has become "layered". I got this term from Ra Uru Hu when he was talking about Projectors and the layering of their bitterness. For me, I think I have the same kind of layering, but it is not bitterness, as I am not a Projector. It is the layering of anger. 

So my way forward is the gym! Sitting at those weight machines and pushing forward to transfer that anger. Psychologically into insight, and physically into muscle. It would make sense if that, on a sociological level men experience a lot of stress from low status. That this is a good route for many men. 

The way it works for me then is that I go to the gym. I have insights into things that I am avoiding. Insights into why a person who screwed me over does justifiably deserve to be avoided, a bad thing about them when I have only seen good things. That kind of thing. But the point is to draw all the anger out of my subconscious. This is my process. 

So the process involves me feeling... More angry. More clarity at the anger I have always known is there and maybe, just maybe, I will unblock myself enough that I can actually create music again. That I will have something to sing about! 

At the moment, it might be the heat. I have been thinking of stuff to say. I have some stuff I want to say. But this subject is all I am going to talk about in this blog. As the anger is still too powerful. 

Ethics and the Law of One.

The video today:

Youtube: Melissa Dougherty: I went to a psychic fair, it was NOT what I expected. August 7th 2026.

https://youtu.be/btihYK4wWbE?si=ZK8-bRtGv5Ohz7jX

Firstly, before I go into this. I want to say that I will not, and would not, seriously engage with this woman. I feel that if I were to I would have strong ideas and would engage and debate like men do. Whereas, this is a soft creature that you do not do that with. I mean, technically writing in a blog I might bring some points in that would be confrontational. But it will be in the style of explanation and thoughts. Not opposition. 

The kind of person I would engage with seriously is someone like Ryan Gable. Who I wrote about before. I covered his Law of One video critique but I covered it barely. I have an affection for skeptics since Steven Cambian at Truthseekers, kind of singlehandedly saved me from David Wilcocks schizophrenic ramblings.

This person though, Ryan Gable, is not a good natured skeptic. He is not doing a legitimate search for truth in this area. I believe he is making bad faith and stupid arguments and I covered him very softly before. But I think I should do a more strongly opposing video. He has made certain claims in the notes I have made so far. Such as the idea that 'you have to be super high to write this stuff', which he says at 20 minutes. This was a comment I put on his video.

On the Law of One main website. They do give an explanation of that statement in session 1.0: We communicate now. We, too, have our place. We are not those of the Love [density] or of the Light [density]. We are those who are of the Law of One. This was what they wrote: The word “density” was added here to add clarity to what we believe to be Ra’s intended meaning. The fourth density is the density of love and understanding. The fifth density is the density of light. Ra is of the sixth density where love and light are unified. https://www.llresearch.org/channeling/ra-contact/1 So in the way they see things, the contact sees things. There is a very specific set of densities. Which is repeated a lot throughout the text itself. And they wanted to clarify which one they were from. Even though the statement didn't make a lot of sense when it was first heard. From my understanding I am fifth density, so my signature, if this were the way people were commonly speaking would be: "I am not of the love, I am of the light, I am not of the Law of One".

There we go. I think that is youtube formatting. I have directly referenced what he was complaining about in the Law of One. What happened? He deleted the comment. In about half an hour. Since he has proven bad will, I think that necessitates a more thorough response.  

Anyway, Melissa's video was; well, it had a female easy going style of everything just flows. She talks about talking with an 'aura reader', who is like a classic Law of One type of person. Like the people at Bring4th. Just a messy, not committing to anything kind of person. You bring up a concrete issue or problem you have, even linking it to the Law of One texts. And they. very disrespectfully, ignore you. Just won't engage.

The woman Melissa was talking to would make no commitment that there are things like objective moral rules. The interaction ended with the woman apparently accepting Melissas idea that Jesus is the answer to all these things. Which of course, she just went passive and let Melissa say whatever she wanted, so Melissa says she feels good, but the womans views are unchanged because nothing really gets her. She is totally numb and dissociated; hiding behind a commitment to mysticism and the Law of One.  

It is a very female mindset not dissimilar to a communist. Or the female judges letting criminals walk free to kill again because of some vague attachment to a sense of spiritual egalitarianism. 

I wanted to say, firstly, to praise the video a bit; then what I think of as moral rules. Or how I would answer some of these questions - moral rules and such. Also, how I would handle this 'aura reader'. And then I will move onto challenges to Melissas position. She mentioned at a points he asked the aura reader if they knew the bibles claims. 

So firstly, Melissa offered a very intelligent, in my view, deconstruction of what was wrong with the aura readers views. She makes a case that ethics are objective. If the aura reader was talking to someone doing evil things would she offer any opposition to this? The aura reader said something like everyone is on their own journey. So Melissa said... OK the Nazi's then? Were they objectively evil? They believed they were doing things that were good, at least they stated that. Are the Nazi's on their own journey? Or are they in need of moral correction? The woman offered a kind of vague non answer. 

What I would have said, is what way do you vote? We know, 100% this aura reader woman votes leftist. Then I would say, OK, so you believe we should give infinite resources to immigrants as part of the Law of One to show compassion and such and you are willing to vote, do an action in the real world, to support that? To which she would agree. I would then say that this is against the Law of One. Because it is initiating violence on the taxed native citizens. Many of which were extremely angry when they heard about USAID and recounted stories of not being able to afford their kids food. 

It is against the Law of One and evil in itself to tax said citizens. The taxed citizen is of equal worth to the migrant under the Law of One. Also, women like this are supporting an extremely violent oppressive government regime. Which they are not karmically free of, in my opinion. 

She would ignore this too of course. But this would hit more of a nerve than any of what had happened previously. They sometimes offer an "apology" at this point, for any distress the discussion caused or something like that. But what the apology is is a moral highgrounding apology. "I am sorry you feel that way" (the implication being I am sorry you were unable to accept my more enlightened point of view). I would not accept the apology and inform the woman that her offering it has caused me further offence. It is directly condescending.

Nevermind really. Escalating the conversation to a confrontation might have made a bit more of an impact, but it wouldn't have changed anything. These leftist women sometimes get raped and carry on supporting the left. Women in Sweden have been known to accuse white men because they do not want to be racist by saying a refugee raped them. 

But that is where I would go with the ethical question.

Stefan Molyneux would no doubt hate this. But I see Stefan Molyneuxs Universally Preferable Behaviour as very consistent with the Law of One. One of its first principles is that of universalism, which states that moral laws apply in every circumstance. There is more to it than that but I can't go into this for length reasons. One of the relevant principles is that moral laws are applicable to all situations. We cannot have exceptions in moral laws meaning that they apply sometimes and not others. Because if they apply some times and not others, then there is another thing that supersedes them. Likely a persons will. If their is another persons will superseding them. Then that is more important than the moral law. If it is more important than the moral law. Then the application of the moral law is one of control, not morals.

This applies to a great deal of things and it opens up the conversation to a lot of deconstruction. The government bans violence in its citizens but commits violence, as an example. God in the Old testament, bans murder, and yet he murders. 

Then I would turn on Christianity. The 'claims that the bible makes' and such as she referenced. I don't know specifically what this woman believes. But in my view, mainstream Christianity does not have a leg to stand on.

Even though I am kind of Christian, as in, Christian enough for my own definition. But not from a mainstream Christians definition. I am also critical of Christianity and have a little knowledge on these areas built from people like Aaron Abke, Paul Wallis and Bart Ehrman. 

My essential position and point on the bible is that it is extremely inconsistent. That there is good evidence of it being changed and of non canon books having more validity. That Christianity itself relies on an appeal to authority fallacy. That Christianities moral precepts involve forcing others to submit to its rules when they might not believe in God, and that a true moral system has to be secular in order to get around this issue. 

But like I said, I don't know this womans positions so do not know what conversation I would be facing in this position. 

Anyway, that's all I have for the moment! 

Working with catalyst.

I wanted to do a kind of run down of my understanding of the balancing process given in the Law of One. Understanding (mind), acceptance (body) and forgiveness (spirit).

I am a kind of angry resentful person. And I do not disagree with that part of myself. Of that way that I have become. Following the Law of One. A person experiences "catalyst". Which is that stuff out in the world that we use to change ourselves. So, we see in the world there is something to strive for and we strive for it. Changing ourselves in many ways, including an increase of discipline. 

That is an example of positive catalyst. It could be something more negative. Like we get bullied or something. Each catalyst can give us more positive or negative tendencies and specific weight is given, in the archetypal system. For when we respond to positive catalyst with negative tendencies and vica versa. 

I have started reading Nietzsche recently and I am very happy doing so. It feels incredibly profound. Feels like it is just 'something else'. I wanted to get his work for an understanding of some basic concepts of his that I have thought over. But, I feel now I have the book that it is gaining entry into another thing completely. 

One of the things he says, not even in the text yet, it is excerpted in the introduction. That he dislikes the binary between true - false, good - evil etc. He says that it is very possible that something in between these poles will be life affirming and good. This reminds me of something I have recently begun to feel and understand. I have realised that seeking truth 'in every area', is a bit too much of an energy drain. It came to me as I was thinking over these mental health issues that people have. Autism etc. I had originally believed that a lot of these people were kind of making it up to cover for hedonism and the negative psychological effects of a bad conscience. This was partly from Stefan Molyneux. I do not recall if he said this precisely. But I think I got the idea from listening to him. 

Eventually though I realised, when confronted with people that strongly believe the mental health reasoning, and various other things I have experienced. I realised it doesn't really help me to think of it like this. Whatever the ultimate truth of these peoples issues are. It is easier for me to just accept what they say. It doesn't effect me. I am not going to feel sympathy for their mental health issues or make a whole load of concessions I wouldn't otherwise make. But the additional energy to attempt to prove to myself either that these are legitimate, or that they are spiritual problems. Is not something worth my time; and life will eventually sort that kind of stuff out anyway. As society changes and people improve and add more light to situations like this. 

The reason I took the circuitous route to explain that last paragraph. The idea of accepting a maybe lie, or accepting 'confusion' as a kind of easy way out sometimes. Is that it is directly relevant to my spiritual movement forward I believe. I will have to explain something else first then come back to this.

My current catalyst.

I have travelled a very strange route in this life. As I have explained here before. I have an illness, a physical illness. Which is kind of subtle and invisible. And causes massive amounts of stress and even schizophrenia through effecting brain chemistry. There has been better medical technology recently. Which means for the first time in my life I am kind of clear headed and normal. I can carry a conversation without going off into some weird, highly alienating, thing. 

Nevertheless, my catalyst. I.e. the information I have received from the world. Is a certain way. I have been socially excluded from every single social group I have ever been a part of. I had a group of male friends for a while in school. Before the medical situation really progressed. I was a bit odd and overly stressed then. But it started to grow really bad from my mid twenties on. 

I worked in a supermarket as my first real job. I was completely socially excluded from everyone in the entire, very large, supermarket. They arranged entire outings strategically ostracising me. I then went to Uni. Where I neither got on nor didn't get on with anyone there. I then volunteered in a Buddhist cafe. I then worked in a fast food place, and office for two years, back to fast food, this time with people that could barely speak English, because the bullying at the office was so intense, then I worked in a call centre. 

At each one of these. Every single one. I was socially ostracised. The call centre actually this was not the case technically. They were very big on arranging outings after work for everyone. But I was kept in a team where the only thing I could do was work because the work load was heavier. Even though everyone else managed to socialise in that team (although no one was in the team more than six months while I was permanently there!) I just worked. But outside that. I was socially ostracised everywhere I went. Like, people going for entire social events deliberately excluding me and only me.

This was NOT the extent of the social ostracism. Even in other things in my personal life I have also been ostracised. 

Like I said, and I am also bringing this point out for a later point. While there may be very good reasons for this. I could have said or done things weird that got me socially ostracised at these places. My experience is that I have been socially ostracised. That is the catalyst that I have had. Now my emotional reactions to the world are that of a person that has been socially ostracised constantly. 

A natural dynamic. 

In the world I notice a pattern. If I am in contact with someone. I try and put my best foot forward. My best foot is that I have found value in the kind of things I blog about. The constant pains of the social ostracism has driven me more strongly into spirituality. The amount of catalyst to get me to pray everyday, or at least intend to. Was not small. 

Now, I think I have adapted so well to these things that I am unrecogniseable to the original person I was who wanted to 'fit in'. I recall in a moment where I had felt socially ostracised in my personal life. An additional example. A friend of mine was meeting up with another friend and I was not only feeling socially ostracised but was starting to go into a kind of psychosis. It is something that was a part of my schizophrenic break in 2014. The pains of all this started to get me that badly. (I have mapped out this single thing being responsible for a lot of my psychosis).

But as I was starting to feel this. Actively getting weird with people. I stared at my human design chart. Something I had separated from a little. And it sorted itself out. I connected to something of myself that is higher, and I was suddenly unbothered with the social event I had been very deliberately not invited to. (The person involved here actually tried to involve me in the future and suffered socially for this in a big way. At least in my understanding).

But it goes even further than this. Now that I am interested in the subjects I am interested in. Now that I have started to carve out a life where I am, basically happy largely on my own, and without these larger social groups. In essence, with enough prayer and meditation, reading the Law of One, now philosophy and the gym. I have become, somewhat immune, it feels to me. Either that or the emotion is suppressed. I do not feel bad if I am not invited and I also, do not want to be invited. The smallest incling of disrespect and I am happy to go home, watch Star Trek, and have an early night. I also have the general tendency to avoid the social situation in the first place. To not want to be invited.

Obviously this does not seem healthy. It is hard to even want to spend time with women (it is anyone really, but I use women as an example because they are seen as desireable, they are important for my "biological need to reproduce"). So I must have destroyed a part of myself in some manner. But I cannot make myself want what I don't want. I cannot afford therapy either. 

Everytime someone does try to interact with me, or I with them. In some manner. I kind of do my best. I provide what I think is a good addition to the conversation. But often, this is discouraged or ignored. If someone talks about xyz and I think Law of One type stuff, or Stefan Molyneux type stuff is useful or relevant. I will talk about it. The person will show a bit of interest. Then not be interested somehow. To forget about it. I might also make jokes. 

Eventually with enough ignoring me from the other person. I have to withdraw. This is obvious. You make a joke and someone takes more than 24 hours to respond. Frequently. Then obviously it is logical to withdraw. Without a casual conversation going over Whatsapp, for example. I cannot then casually say does someone want to meet up? I might even doubt myself and say, perhaps I should not be talking about philosophy with people? But, it is in my human design. Personality Mercury 56.2. Design Mercury 24.6. That is just me, what I am about. Sometimes the world/ people, give us feedback that we should change in some manner. But if what it wants us to change is a fixed attribute like that. There is not much we can do. 

The solutions. 

I have noticed one of the biggest changes in my psychology recently. I think this is due to working out in the gym a good deal. Since I have been working out at the gym. There is just something about all this I have begun to accept. 

For years, especially before I went to the two year office job. I just thought that things were going badly from bad luck. The people in the supermarket were an exception etc. I thought it was super strange I had not been out in a mixed gender group my whole life. Not gone out for a drink with say, three women and three men (including me). That because it was so strange that that hadn't happened. It was liable to happen. 

For a while I went through various crazinesses. But I always kind of desired that. Kind of desire that socialising or something in that entire area. But recently, since the gym, all of a sudden I do NOT desire that. I do not look around when walking in town hoping I can strike up a conversation with some chick. It feels like a deep and fundamental acceptance that that has not happened, and it probably isn't going to happen now. And I'm not sure I even want it to happen!

Since the gym though. I have gone from kind of desiring that and still thinking about it. To not thinking about it at all. Just love of gym. Nothing else.  

During the period Mid - late June to Mid - late July where I temporarily went off Communion. I did feel far more emotionally raw. I made this song:

I have the right to resent you. I have the right to feel,

The sun reveals everything, every little piece of you.

And you are love, maybe poison love,

And I am need, that is true.   

I have not been able to make music for a long time and I do not know why. This song was honest about that angry resentment I feel. Which, it exists for a reason and I don't see a problem with it. Like the song says, I do have the right to my emotions and when I was bullied at various workplaces. It was always women doing it. Every single time. 

Since I have gone back onto Communion though. These kinds of words are not coming. I wonder if it is because part of me wants to make a song with higher, more positive or more complex lyrics? Something meaningful in a different way? 

But to be honest. I don't really know the reason for it. When I went off Communion. I could make a song showing how I really feel. When I am on it. No song is made up. I'm just into playing scales and such. 

Perhaps it is a refinement to make a better song later? One with more of the scales that I am practicing? 

The decline of entertainment media.

It's been six days since my last post. I used to post daily! I suppose from one perspective, it is good that because this is set out like it is. Like, it is not attached to any sort of revenue stream. When I don't have anything to say I don't speak. 

Recently, I have really enjoyed some of the older TV shows I have been watching. Star Trek Deep Space Nine. Watched the entire series. Now onto Star Trek Voyager. Watched a bit of Star Trek the Original Series which might be where I go next. Previously rewatched The Mentalist. Older series. 

I recall watching the first Scream and how good it was. For my birthday I watched Scream 7. It was OK. But I didn't really feel anything watching it.

It brings me to this tweet:

There has been a lot of discussion of this kind of thing. There was a paid article by Adrian something or other. Perhaps Adrian Winters. That showed how this has happened. How a lot of Hollywood writing rooms have gone from 80% to 10% white males. 

It makes it harder to find things to watch on TV because a lot of these things are written by women. And women, as leaders of these kinds of things. Have never produced anything that is obviously interesting to me. These women are likely all liberal as well. Recently, as well, even things made by men, such as 'The Boys'. Is so infected with woke, it is unwatchable. 

Scarpetta is a good example. It has a good vibe of a female investigator going for a serial killer and a serial killer from thirty years ago also used the same tactics. There is a LOT of soap opera kind of stuff in this show. Which, might be OK. I watched it thinking perhaps there would be a payoff. Perhaps really engaging with the characters would be relevant as the plot unfolds. 

But, as it ended. As the plot solved. I realised that the soap opera element of the show was really all it had to offer. The serial killer element was clearly an after thought and even though the show was set up to imply that there would be some great relevance to the thirty year gap and the memories. There was not. It was literally a soap opera with a bit of serial killer stuff involved to engage people. The main character for the Mentalist was in this show to further imply an interesting detective angle. 

Another with a similar issue I just started watching yesterday. But have realised now is also terrible in the same way. I watched either one or two episodes of "Walker". I started watching it and there was again, a subtle serial killer plot happening and an emotional angle that might be interesting, provided it is not the only draw of the show. 

So I look up the reviews on youtube. Universally bad and I found just a single guy with low production quality. A source I can trust. Just a guy. Who literally labelled it "Woker". Then I look up who is running it. A woman named Anna. It will be the same thing. So I am not watching it. 

I think this is the problem that has infected basically all of modern screenwriting. I have watched a bit of Walker, and what is it missing? Being that I am in the category of the kind of person banned from the modern writing rooms? Well, it misses a strong male antagonist. Walker, Jared Padalecki, needs someone that could possibly beat him. It would immediately add that adrenalised, distinctly non soap opera like energy. 

But it is written by a woman, so it will just be an ongoing soap opera. Even shows with a lot of emotional stuff in them. Like Star Trek Voyager, that I am now watching. Produced by Rick Berman. But with a female captain. There is a lot of fairly deep emotional themes. But they don't make the show completely lose direction. 

What this has all added up to is that all modern TV is just kind of dull. Wokeness; liberal, female heavy writer rooms are just filled with a kind of directionlessness. It is hard to describe quite what has gone wrong with modern TV. But it is like the life has somehow been taken out of it.

Scream 1 had a very nail biting tension to it. Scream 7 just... didn't. It had all the pieces technically in place. But it just didn't really grab attention.  

In corners of the internet. Various male personalities have carved out a space for themselves best they can by doing things like writing science fiction ebooks. But none of that creative energy can find expression in the actual media that is available for casual viewing. None of it has any support. I also suspect this same problem is the reason why a lot of fields have a similar 'dullness' to them. That until 'God makes his will known' in a sense. Until there are consequences to the liberals for their many crimes. Things will carry on just as they are. 

Insights into a changing world.

This is an important post to me. But a personal one. I am doing what I often do on this blog. I am using introspection to gain insight into what are effective methods to move forward and improve ones life. 

Recently, I have noted a few times. A strong sensation that something has just "worked out" recently. Just flowed. Things just fit. There is a sense of treading water that I had for a long time that is gone.

Now, there are a lot of physical things that could be. I will likely go into these. But the thing that made the most sense was when I looked into the astrology at the moment. We have been undergoing, in mid - late July; this is the Jupiter - Pluto opposition. 

There are a few more specific transits. Jupiter is very soon to cross my natal Sun. From 4th of August it is in the same hexagram as my natal Sun. When this happened before, sometime in or after August 2014. Was when I had a strong schizophrenic episode. So it feels like this time I have navigated that energy properly. In that, I am not a raving madman on this pass. 

The physical reasons I am better. Well it could be one of many, many things. It could be that I had a surgery (biopsy) and got a result that was an OK one, considering how bad it could have been. Maybe that was hanging over me. It could be that I had a few weeks off jobseeking to recover from it. And jobseeking causes a lot of stress. And it never stops. There are no holidays from jobseeking. Every week you do it. I have been unemployed for more than three years. 

It could be that I met up with friends recently. It could be that I have reached a good point in health things like drinking water and going to the gym. It could be that I have properly stayed away from 'transcient' material and I have got the benefit. As my dreams indicated. It could be that some of the things I have talked about here I have properly applied. I am thinking of the first archetype. The Matrix of the Mind. 

Nevertheless, the transit is very compelling. Between dreams and transits of both astrology and human design. It provides a lot of good insight and direction into things. I have not had a great deal of insights outside those resources.