I will probably be laying out a bit of my case for my "greeted" thoughts. So just an fyi ahead of time. Meaning some of what I say here I might later explain why it is terrible reasoning.
In the Law of One. The contact, when asked why certain things were happening, almost always to do with Carla's ("the instruments") health. They would say things like the negative entity tempted this person, or are energising this particular problem etc.
I think this is an interesting aside as to how they approach these issues and an important one. The Law of One contact could have said that there are negative forces engaging with the situation but to address this and think on it directly is generally toxic and not to do it.
But they didn't. They discussed negative greeting and how to handle it in some depth.
A recent experience.
For a little while, I have made an argument here of what I think the healing journey is, for specifically men really. That the difficulties men experience from not naturally having status. Means they experience difficult things. Some of these things are calculated for instance. If you are in an entire group of people that do not like you, but you need to relate to. Say work colleagues. Then your mind calculates that actually seeing their aggression is not good for you, because you want to continue surviving. If the aggression is noticed it becomes an immediate conflict.
The experiences they have if they are not healthy may get stored in their muscles as hormonal combinations. Then, a bit later, when a guy does physical exercise in particular. This stuff gets released (as the muscles break down in gym work as an example), and then it is cleaned out of the system. Through the exercise but also through the knowledge that the person is increasing in strength and testosterone. So if the situation were to recur, they would be able to fight the tribe of people they were having the subtle conflict.
In this way, when a person goes to the gym. They may get incredibly powerful and deep insights. But, it also adds in a kind of paradigm that might not be correct as I will go into. It adds in the paradigm that our subconscious and body are holding a lot of "stuff" back that needs to be cleaned out. And that perhaps if we do that we will eventually reach some kind of nirvana of clarity as all those kinds of problems in our subconscious are cleaned out.
I went to the gym late last night. Normally I do weight but today early morning today I did aerobic. A lot of it. The tiredness is something. But in the day before that. I had what felt like a sudden, powerful emotional insight of a situation in my past. Where I could not believe that I had tolerated a certain disrespect. It felt like if I had the time again I would have killed the person involved. I started to think of this in an extremely positive light. If this level of darkness is about to be cleaned out of my body with an exercise session, I am improving very quickly indeed! I also had the theory that my mind had kept the thought and feeling hidden until I was able to handle it and I had the additional thought. That why was I writing songs, when I can write them. Usually about women? When obviously this emotional realisation might be a resource to talk about things like this, and the larger situation it related to, in my songs?
The insight into the insight.
Anyway, 20 minutes into the rowing machine. For reasons I won't mention but that are in the Law of One. I got a further insight. Which is that this insight was not an actual insight. It felt like it was negatively inspired. It felt quite clearly that it was negatively inspired and with that sudden insight into what is negatively inspired and what it feels like. It also suddenly felt like I had an insight into what that negative influence is like in general.
I felt that my inability to write music for a long time now might be linked to this. (Although I can play fine!)
There are a lot of follow ons from this. The negative greeting appears to have fit into my mental model because it fits into a truth I have decided and... perhaps experienced. The question now is, was the model I thought about earlier actually correct? I put it together some months ago, and have believed it for a long time. But I do not know that it is. It may be that the entire model was faulty and perhaps part inspired by said negative beings. (Interestingly, this false insight I have referred to happened at the same physical location as the original insight that started off the larger "salvation through exercise" model). Or that it is correct but that particular emotion was not part of that process.
My feeling is that the entire model was incorrect. Today I feel great and am having insights, possibly due to a kind of body reset and exhaustion. The biological stress is temporarily gone. But it might just be that with exercise. I feel better. I am clearer, and so have more insights. This complex idea about digging into the darkness of my subconscious needn't be included!
One of the things that to me, adds to this. Is that when I had the false insight. My sudden thoughts were that the music I was making was somehow pathetic and imperfect. That I should be writing music more in line with the new insight. This is simply a complex justification for disliking what I am and what I have already made. Yes, I have made a lot of songs that focus on women. That is just me, it was the music I wrote.
What really helps.
The feeling that has gone with all this was fantastic. But, I imagine. Temporary. It is like one of those enlightenments newbies get when they are starting the spiritual process. It is powerful, and I feel great. But it is not the point. The point is to put in longer term tools that will practically help.
There are two that I can think of:
One; despite the fact that it is a very difficult belief to practically have in this world. One that will get you accused of being schizophrenic. And one that I feel might be less effective than a skeptical/ atheistic leaning. To consciously recognise there are negative entities out there doing things. Playing with thoughts. I think is an important thing to do. This has been maddening to me before. But it is something I feel I need to acknowledge going forward.
I have done this a little bit in real terms. Sometimes I sleep with the Law of One book 2 when I am feeling particularly bothered. I also use the Law of One book 2 whenever I meditate. It is also relevant to praying... which is one of those things I don't always do. But do intend to do daily.
But I have not previously consciously considered the relevance of negative beings and I have decided that perhaps I should. After this experience specifically.
Two; one of the things that I have found actually does help is philosophy. I had an insight from a youtube covering Simone Weil. Simone talked about how there is something within us that desires to be obedient to something larger than ourselves. She talks about how freedom is not a thing that is definitively desireable. That many people that have a lot of bad options are not as happy as those with fewer good options that align with their value system.
This is the first real doubts I have had about the desireability of long term freedom. I am not saying that limits of freedom need to be imposed by a state. Maybe a community or some other thing. But I have come significantly away from the kind of liberal belief that freedom in all cases is a force for good.
This lead me to an insight into when I played music. I was far younger. And I was a leftist. Or I hadn't thought about politics that much. But with that viewpoint. With that model of reality made from teenage soaps like the OC. I trusted in the goodness of authority and believed if I made music my life might turn out in a good way based on the benevolence of authority and society.
Since I crashed out of that centrist kind of opinion. I do not have any faith in authority. I do not trust that if I put my all into music and don't think of things further, society will look after me and make a way for me in music. I do not have faith in society. I am older now so I wouldn't expect that due to age. But this problem started up when I was still of the age I could make a good career in music. (Assuming the music industry wasn't completely rigged).
And since having this insight. My music has suddenly improved. It has more life and power.
Further insights.
I see Simone Weil, like I referred to previously. As someone of the rough angelic quality of Carla Rueckert. Her insights are powerful. I should do an article on her potentially but, I don't think I could cover her better than the video from Joe Folly, whose youtube channel is 'unsolicited advice'.
The point being is that I feel that philosophy somehow provides protection against these things. In some way it orders the mind with insights that give something or explain something to a person. These are people that lived in our world rife with negative greeting. And they thrived. So their perspectives must have some merit.
Anyway, that's all for the moment.
