Premature (not so serious)

It might have been premature to say that even though I said I was 'dying' before there is no sign of it.

I have just woken up after a dream exactly summarising the situation, being around the girl and her having decided not to like me even though I realise the soulmate thing. During the dream I felt this intuition to push us together, and now I've woken up with an extremely sick feeling, what I imagine some cancer sufferers might experience. I will spend the rest of the day probably having to 'honour' that feeling.

This is not a lie, I do not lie. I have not lied in years, ever to my memory. Truth is one of my values.

This happened once before (thoughts around this area then sickness). I also intuited it would be quiet and then would suddenly reveal itself and I would be 'gone' in three days or so.

If I do go, and if it is sudden and I can't get to this blog. For future reference this is what happened. There is a trail. The diagnosis would be cancer but this would be the reason. (And I would want it to be recognised and possibly charged in my absence)

One of the things she told me once when I phoned her was that it had annoyed her that I had phoned her from the hospital. To me that was a statement of extreme insensitiveness considering the pain I had been going through. I do 100% believe me dying would be convenient for her. I feel and know this like I feel the rest of these things.

(Later entry: It appears to be a migraine. I had a dream with the girl and being in her 'vicinity'. Then when I woke up the positive guidance in my indigo chakra turned to a migraine.

I still sick but have identified it as a migraine therefore it is not so serious as I first said.

I am obviously still trapped. Regardless, I feel something from having been wronged in the original situation which is never going to go even if I were to die. I obviously have stated I don't plan to go outside the law. 

This all hinges on my lack of power in the situation. To the service to self, if you have no power then you can be dismissed and are not worth listening to or being considered.)