Sunday, 30 July 2017

Bad habits!

Well, I think I have found out why I have shut down so much after Fridays socialising... Feeling a sense of ridiculous fear and unable to feel comfortable with the information that is usually so important.

Alcohol! I think it's time to give that up!

Previously I did give it up and then I went to a nice party with a bunch of people from my old workplace to see off a manager. I was sitting there not saying anything to anyone and trying to talk occasionally. I felt stressed and then my throat actually closed up... Like stopped working.

I drunk a glass of wine and my throat opened again! As though guided! I felt good and was sure this was the message here, that I should be drinking but only very little.

Looking back though it was not actually good because the rather boring social homogeneity was broken! Essentially I was all over the place and the arguments caused were probably why I did not go out with those people again... I did not necessarily want to BUT, it underlines how from that interaction I got nothing in the long term. The long terms is very important to me now.

Today though the message does not seem to be the same thing. I am still feeling crap two days after only one glass and I have lost valuable time!

So, it's time to cut that!

I am reminded of this fantastic trailer, because when I fall back from having it together I go into survival and in survival my intuition works with me through the medium of fantasy! I.e. the quest for/ interest in "magic powers" and something artistic about this is a motivator:

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