Not sure and what now?

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My pageviews haven't increased massively recently, I am fast catching up my pageviews with my posts.
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Regardless of if I am or am not Don, nothing has really changed. Until I am somehow sure about something.
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What now? Well, I seem to be a little too internally torn to really be of service-to-others. The astrology things didn't work out. I can't absorb something without repeating it very quickly. I am very anxious.
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I need some proof. Obviously part of this is whether this Aquarius and 5D girl are together. I have had such strong intuition about that, but it feels likely that the intuition was just pushing something that was already in my mind. A tendency to connect disparate facts for example.
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It would just be too painful to even tell anyone of these things. So, I just have to try and live in the world until some sort of compromise, between me and the world is reached. I really need some evidence of something. Something that will move forward something. But evidence isn't always where it's at.
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The reason it's too painful, for instance, with the Aquarian friend, is that what if I'm fine with him and then the intuition shoots up again.
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I don't believe this most recent debacle, specially if I wasn't DE, I don't believe it was completely negatively driven. I think neg's destroy your mind in the shadows. It's likely that it all being on the surface and out like this, even though it might seem negative to some. Is the efforts of positive entities.