Need to catch up with my pageviews.

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OK. I don't think that was the truth, what I just said. I do not know for sure.
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What I think is happening is that the original ideas that I had that were service to others have been held onto, things like acknowledging myself as Don Elkins and moments of recognition for instance, when I realised something from what a girl said. Memories like that.
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In order for me to remain in service to others polarity, I need to express these things and have them accepted, then balanced etc. Learning from them.
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But because we are in a low vibrational state where sometimes manners and social correctness are held above truth. This hasn't been expressed in service to others. What happens is I've had to steadfastly hold onto my truth and others have been aggressively working against me to get me to experience my truth as 'not truth' or that 'which is' as that 'which is not'.
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This is why it is so painful holding onto these views and there is a process moving against me (strong right ear ringing), a collective of peoples personal opinions and influences are trying to get me to see things in another way. A way where no one whom works against me has been wrong, all those ASSHOLES are right. And where people who genuinely love me and have my back, or at least a little. Where those peoples efforts and insights are forsaken and considered 'evil'. (Talking of a close friend now).
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So I have to accept that, exactly like David Wilcock when he first started out, obsessed with the Illuminati and having to take 'any job'. I am also in a kind of negative polarity. And I have to punch through the pain in order to maintain my psyche like it is, and not have it invaded by these false but seemingly more loving 'ideas'.