Back at it.

So, I've had some insights and realise that I might have "detuned" for a week or so. My last three posts. Now reverted to drafts so inaccessible. Were about how I had had this massive insight that prayer is not psychologically healthy. 

My health always goes badly wrong when I stop it. This time was no exception. But the experience gave me an insight as to what might have been my discomfort with prayer. 

I... did something that is very stupid for diabetics to do. Type 1's anyway. I lowered my long term insulin. Or... well... there was a mismatch between the ideal dose and my actual dose to several units lower. This allowed me to break down fats, to go into 'ketosis'. So to speak. Which theoretically, is a very good way to lose weight.

Not for me though. And sometimes, not for regular people either (regular people can go into ketoacidosis!). Diabetics specifically struggle with this. When they do not break down sugar via insulin they break down fats and create ketones. Good for weight loss. But the difference is, diabetics, without insulin in their system. Create a LOT of ketones, very quickly. Create an overacidified body, which is usually how they find out they are diabetics. With a hospital visit in that very precarious state. 

So I did that. And started getting tired and nasceous, extremely dehydrated. Now, I know what this feels like, and what it means and I came out of this. But while I was figuring this out. Thinking it through. I realised I am drinking a hell of a lot of that caffeine free Pepsi Max. (Which is extremely acidic!)

Along with reading now, the fifth book of the Law of One. That in one of the beginning write ups talks about when you are spiritual you have to be in line with what you teach. I realised, that even though I have been praying every day for good health. I have been drinking Pepsi Max. This is an extreme contradiction. I am basically working against my own prayer. I think this is the reason that prayer suddenly felt wrong for me and like it was peeling away from me. 

I do not have any more blog centric points right now. I have prayed and do now feel better. I will still possibly need some time to recuperate and get back to my normal thoughts. But I wanted to undo the previous three posts where I discussed the brilliantness of stopping prayer. I am not 100% sure prayer is good. I might have got something wrong here. But I suspect that the real reason that I wanted to stop prayer was because of this hypocrisy, and that stopping Pepsi Max. Never having another glass. Will solve this issue.