The higher self plan.

A few hours ago I wrote a comment on a Stefan Molyneux podcast about atheism and such, saying partly that the tract of "Gods plan" and such. Was I suppose, a cop out of sorts.

But, obviously I don't quite believe that, if a lot of my output is about Gods plan and such. But I do believe that people that do believe that kind of thing, it is a personal aspect of faith, like dream interpretation, and it shouldn't be used to gain control over another. To gain power in a conversation when difficult, but completely legitimate, questions are brought up. 

In essence, where I might meet atheists in my own life. Know atheists in my life. I believe anything that I might express can often be also talked about in a way that respects a secular viewpoint. Like Stefan himself does sometimes. Stefan sometimes uses God and Jesus as a metaphor for various things. Or even demons. 

The higher plan.

One of the thing that strikes me in general with the way life works out. Is that for me, several different problems I have, are very strongly helped or solved by one single thing. I think this happens a lot and it is almost as though the spirits have conspired to point us in a certain direction.

For me, that is weight lifting, among other things; and I will talk about some other related things and how they link up. 

I have bone thinning and non alcoholic, fatty liver disease. Linked to that liver issue is the need to lose weight. Weight lifting solves each of these. Weight lifting, is basically the only thing that really helps me lose weight, which I know since I weigh myself everyday. Although I have changed my diet a lot. I eat a lot more salads and such, and meat. It was not particularly positive doing just calorie counting, fasting for even a day was abysmal. What is constructive though, is weight lifting/ walking and controlling my food intake. That is far more sustainable and workable. When I am doing both of these, weight lifting is when I get a drop in weight, whereas outside of that it doesn't go down a whole lot. 

The other thing that seems to be coming about with these changes is that NoFap, six days at the moment, seven in about three hours. As the energy changes, I am noticing myself as more involved in everyday life. In a way I can't describe. I just made a twenty minute video getting very annoyed at a forum I go on every so often.

I said recently that I feel my health improvement, and astrological changes (nodal return); and how this might coincide with things working out globally. I.e. I wanted to be not engaged in conspiracy so much when something actually went down and this reflects that. 

On top of this (remember I mentioned how it all seems to come together!) The NoFap seems to be making me internalise things a lot more. As part of that I am hoping I remove my energy from blogs and forums altogether. Or perhaps at least if my output was more grounded, there would be a layer of 'shield'... as such.

Where the nudges lead

And hopefully, along with yet more changes I won't mention just at this moment. There is a lot of potential benefit to say ... "weightlifting". In relation to things like jobseeking. If you turn up to a job interview thinner and healthier than you would've been, better energy. Then that sounds like a good thing. It also potentially opens up opportunities in relation to relationships and such. 

I hope to go to the gym in the next few hours. It closes soon until the morning of the 27th of December. So to be in a great mood over Christmas, I need to go in the next few hours that I am looking forward to. 

Happy Christmas to you too! People been saying it doesn't feel like Christmas, but it feels fine to me!

Charts and destiny.

Blogging is one of those things that I do as part of what I feel I should be doing. There is a certain flow with expressing this information in some way. I figure the break has been to realise I should be losing weight as well in my real life. 

When I used to search for jobs previously. The only thing that I can do metaphysically to actually increase that was to blog and/ or make videos. No other thing. Meditation. Prayer, or anything like that seems to help with the jobseeking.

I remember when I made a blog or video, I can't remember, and the jobseeking just went into flow and I immediately got an interview. A bad one, a group interview. But something. 

It's like watching these patterns in life. 

The grand plan:

As I mentioned in my last blog. It feels as though something big is happening but I can't quite identify what that is on the political or larger scale. The drones have seemed to me to not be a big deal. To actually be things like not seeing planes correctly as covered by Steven Cambian. But, there is just something that makes me think there is something happening:

That last one is really creepy. 

There are a lot of calculations that go through my head. Like, one of those is just a pure calculation of good vs. evil. We see the evil everyday. We see the corrupt law courts. Bad health situations. Various things I will not go into. But if we added this up as a numerical thing. The fact that we see any good in this world at all, shows that the power of the good must also be very large.

If we were to suddenly remove the evil in its entirety, and only the good was manifesting. Then, what would that add up to? The amount of positive that would have to be would have to put us into golden age territory in my viewpoint. 

I believe this golden age would include extra terrestrials and whatnot. 

Gods plan:

It reminds me a little of something I have been working on. On a Stefan Molyneux podcast, called 'My history with corruption part 1'. He mentioned at the end that one of the satisfaction he gets from the philosophy he does is a kind of revenge. Where the world subject him to certain ideas and standards, such as that the family is voluntary, as evidenced by the fact that divorce is done on so little justification. So, he counters that with that if the family is voluntary, then children should be able to separate from their abusive parents. This is a prospect that the world doesn't take so kindly. Here is his human design:

I wanted to start out a video on this specifically. Arguing for the validity of such 'mystical' tools as the human design. I would go through why I didn't think that impulse was certain placements. But this is a shorter blog so I will skip to the point. Where I think that comes from is his unconscious Jupiter in the gate 39. It feels very strongly that that is the case with a deeper explanation of said gate. 

The point is I believe that encoded in our own charts, perhaps specifically in the unconscious Jupiter but perhaps in other parts for other people. Is a kind of satisfaction of even the most petty emotional impulses of us. 

Some part of us that gets a kind of ironic revenge on the world for what it has put us through that becomes part of our "path".

This and me.

For me, as I mentioned in a recent community note on my youtube. I feel as though I have gone through a bit of a shift recently. A shift that somewhat activated my gate 21 and manifestor capabilities a bit more. 

The shift has lead me to be more available to "the real world". Less cerebral and lost in spiritual matters. But also less bothered with anything not central to me personally. My ability to communicate in the real world has improved. This also means I am less focused on conspiracy matters. 

What I always wanted my "revenge" to be back when I was passionately, passionately right wing and such. A full on QAnon conspiracy theorist. Is that when all the people that had ignored me all that time suddenly wanted me to tell them what is going on that I would not tell them because I would no longer be interested in conspiracy.

That is the shift that has happened. If this conspiracy stuff happened now I just would not be bothered. I don't have the energy to engage with that kind of thing. It just feels like the same kind of thing.

Conclusion:

I have found many, many very interesting things in human design. With actually talking to people about it. How people's charts plays out like this I think is very interesting.

That strange place called "real life".

It's been a while since my last post.

Quite a lot of things have been going on for me emotionally. That I can't quite articulate or describe. I have posted again and again about a kind of writers block I have. I theorised in one of my previous blogs that my energy has changed very substantially on my nodal return. My unconscious Nodal return is at gate 21. Which is my manifesting channel. I am also, synchronistically, now gaining in health in a massive way. 

So it could be that my "preincarnative programming", lead in the direction of kind of switching into being a proper manifestor now. Whereas before, I was kind of a slight projector. Without the 21 - 45 going into the throat I am technically a projector with a conscious 11-56.

Be that as it may, like many people are voicing on twitter and such. I am feeling a very strange feeling, a very otherwordly feeling lately. 

It is probably better for me to process this in relation to my personal life. Since, it is not at all easy to identify weird sensations in the collective. 

In my personal life. I have one main task. That is losing weight. I have a thick chest in reference to my bone structure. I really do seem to have captured that broadchested, "Leonian essence". I am far broader than my father was, as an example. He was a slight man. I think this is what has allowed me to conceal my own weight from myself. 

But I am definitely overweight now. My bmi started off at 27.8. Went down at one point to about 27.1 and now is somewhere in between there. I have been unable to lose weight. But I have put in a lot of the processes to start doing so (I find weight loss to be quite the process, i.e. having the foods in to create salads etc.). My goal is to get down to what was my ideal BMI when I was younger. 23.7. Which is about 10kg. 

I have also started, now that I realised that there are apps available for this now. Doing nofap. Ideally, in order to lose weight, the really powerful thing, if you do not want to starve yourself, is the gym. It is generally being able to get up and do exercise when you can't just eat a lot to give you the energy and enthusiasm, when a lower calorie intake has meant you have lower energy. NoFap is a strong push in that direction. I've just always wanted to do it and now I have an app that does it that seems to hit the spot well. I am on day 3. 

NoFap has been pretty powerful. It has been pretty powerful in clearing my mind in some manner and making me more focused. Making me more focused on mundane realities and better able to communicate. I also wonder about losing weight, and if there is some relevance to the Law of One where they said, in session 18.5: "Nothing needs to be overcome, that which is not needed falls away". 

Having the intent and energy to do this blog feels as though it came from NoFap and it might be that "writersblock" that I have been talking about on my youtube channel. 

The idea that a lot of emotions are held up in the fat is an interesting one to me, and I wonder if, as we lose weight, we also let go of that psychological baggage that it expresses.

The world itself though is weird. Weird for more reasons than I really want to talk about. If I check in with myself I don't really believe anything will legitimately change. But something is off. 

There is more I want to say, especially expanding on my previous thoughts on the human design. I need to properly express some of these. But they don't comfortably fit into the flow of this specific blog theme so I will do that in another post at some time.

Mad politics and philosophy.

I didn't give credit for a previous decode on my youtube community notes. Although I would need to check that it was the guy who actually made it. But I will for this one. This comes from a twitter account @Cowboyw2b2:

I think these decodes are pretty much daily, or if not daily, still often. Even though the timing of two twitter posts is a little weak. When you add everything together it is not weak. (As in other Q posts as well!)

It makes me wonder about hope in general. If there is some sort of military force that is able to leave clues and prophesize things in this amount of detail. Then higher positive spirits and such must be able to do it to a far greater specificity. 

That gives me hope, and at the moment there is not much of it. For me personally, it feels like I have been gathering together all these various esoteric practices for decades. Meditation, visualisation, dream interpretation, prayer, Christianity, etc. and there are FAR more. And now it is time to actually apply them to difficult real life problems. 

The real life problem I have is that now that my health is better, and now that I meditated which gave me a powerful entry into my emotions. I have found emotions that are inconvenient. Loneliness. In a person that has been comfortable with solitude for a long time, and has adapted their lives to solitude.

Low status.

Also, it has been a long time of not having a job and so not having money. Not having money for a while, when I was too ill to do much. Well there wasn't much option. But you need money to enjoy life once you are well enough to do so.

And the thing I most want is... A playstation! Even though it feels like a loser thing to get. But I suppose it makes me even more of a loser to not be able to afford a £40 second hand playstation. 

Anyway, it seems like my energy is not working. I seem utterly unable to get myself together enough to write a youtube video or make a more interesting blog... Shucks!  

Perhaps in the lounging around I will have enough thoughts to put something together. As I was writing this I had an idea for something that could be very interesting. For years, I paid a lot of attention to a philosopher named Stefan Molyneux. I got incredibly angry at something he said. This was influenced by my medical condition that has filled me with too much adrenaline for years and integrated this into my personality, because it was my background emotion. A very complex psychological thing to figure out. 

Anyway, he wrote a response to me and I stopped going on the telegram and commenting on his posts there. The podcast was FDR 5217: The truth about mysticism. When I started meditating this came up as something to pay attention to. 

Now that I have got more into QAnon, which is a distinctly mystical, and anti objectivist cognitive process. It might be worth doing a video breaking that down. And when I think of mentioning Stefan Molyneux, I might include certain astrological relevances to his chart. Just because those are at the forefront of my mind. I would not want to use those points directly to challenge his free will, but I do want to say them. So the video could be hours long. 

Anyway, I feel a bit ashamed when I try and listen to that specific podcast that I have downloaded, so I have not listened to it yet. The emotion is too strong. But I suppose once I have, I might be able to form a video on this subject.

That was a surprise part 2

Yes, it is still a surprise. I have not recovered from. 

Catalyst is an interesting thing as discussed in the Law of One material and how such teachings manifest organically in my life. Quite often, when I get to really intense personal periods is when I suddenly have a whole bunch of insights.

In the specific case, there are two parts of me which I use to deal with the world. This is all new personal information. One is that there is a kind of QAnon/ Law of One type of mindset. One that has a lot of faith in these kinds of things. Second is a kind of Stefan Molyneux/ philosophy/ my own general skepticism mindset. It might be difficult to imagine I have that second side since my general output is so spiritual and such. But it is there.

The second one that I have for a long time thought was more reliable, relating the first one to schizophrenic tendencies. Has kind of fallen by the wayside after the election. Sitting on election night having been scared a few weeks previously of a Democrat win, I checked the human design transits and saw 1.1. Then a few more synchronicities and I could not undo that feeling. 

The result of said election where there was simply no deep state presence at anywhere near the level it has previously been. Plus, I have noted it being missing even before that. It leads me to think that the QAnon narrative I originally understood. Many specifics in that area. Is correct. This is quite a fundamental rewiring of my brain. I never stated I didn't believe in it. But I have generally not been interested in pursuing any understanding in this area, and my faith in it has definitely emotionally wavered before November 5th.

I want to, as I said in my last post, get back to doing youtube vidoes and blogging. Even though there is no direct benefit for me to be doing those things. I'm not getting paid. So there is no reason for me to push myself to do it when it is not easily accessible as a kind of leisure activity. But I do still want to do it. 

Nevertheless though, I am still recovering from this sudden shift in my beliefs.

That was a suprise.

Damn,

Today has been very weird. Just weird hyper focused bad luck. Things that don't make sense. My health has been in danger but that is not really unusual. 

I did a second communion just now and decided after that that my thoughts on Tarot in a previous post called 'Schizo tarot' was just wrong. I just completely span out of control for some reason. I am still kind of breaking down why it went wrong. I just watched that womans most recent video and enjoyed it. Although from that same post I am still going to come away from personal tarot readings. I liked this womans political tarot readings though.

She says something that I am starting to believe is true after this election. Or starting to re- believe... "White hats are in control".

It is taking me a while to put my psychological health back. To get on with basic tasks that need doing. But hopefully it won't be too long. I want to get on with making youtube videos again but I think it is a little way off.

The unbelievable benefit of meditation.

Out of all my self improvement tactics. Meditation is the most reliably positive. I would have listed all of the other ones to show meditation is better than all these. But in truth, some of the other ones have helped me out of specific binds where meditation was not so effective. So, when I had a psychotic break I could not do meditation because the psychosis would return. So I did dream interpretation. And I pray before my meditation sessions so that self improvement tactic is inseparable from meditation in a sense.

But recently, perhaps massively improved by my improved health. Meditation has taken centre stage again. I have always wanted one single thing that I can do. One thing that if I do that then I will be going in the right direction. At the moment, meditation is that thing for me. 

This was one of the self improvement techniques really heavily pushed by the Law of One, which is my spiritual backbone. The first benefit, is that I struggle a little to access and articulate my own feelings. Perhaps this is due to having schizoid leanings or perhaps it is a very normal thing. Or I have it just a bit more than others. But, I feel normally in my life, I simply can't access certain emotions. Then when I meditate I can. For instance, after a meditation session recently I was far more affectionate. 

I have been trying to access that sense of new feelings and emotions for a while, and I thought it was something that disappeared with my youth! 

The positive effects can't really be described. No matter how things are going for me. No matter how bad I feel about lack of achievement or some other thing. Low status. That half hour of feeling good, of being away from the world will still be there. And I can look for ways to improve it. Should I stretch or do yoga ahead of it? Thinking about using a pyramid or something else. 

I have had unusual feelings that I am not sure what to do with but that I have an instinct are the route to improvement for me. I have had insights that relate to the meditation that explain things in my life. One of the things I have become aware of. Firstly I became aware of a deep fear that I talked about on my community notes and explains why my youtube video output has dried up. But also from that, as I become aware of my fear, I become aware of a kind of vulnerability. A delicateness of sorts. It's hard to explain because I don't really seem delicate.

But it is these kind of things that we avoid, that I believe are thought to be the route to our improvements. Even though in the short term it seems to be stopping me from doing one of my other goals which is music. Playing guitar.

It has started to shift my life on such a fundamental level it may change the direction slightly. I have the suspicion, that after a while of doing this there will just be a bunch of coincidences pushing me in a better direction. I can feel a sense of a part of me preparing that.