That strange place called "real life".

It's been a while since my last post.

Quite a lot of things have been going on for me emotionally. That I can't quite articulate or describe. I have posted again and again about a kind of writers block I have. I theorised in one of my previous blogs that my energy has changed very substantially on my nodal return. My unconscious Nodal return is at gate 21. Which is my manifesting channel. I am also, synchronistically, now gaining in health in a massive way. 

So it could be that my "preincarnative programming", lead in the direction of kind of switching into being a proper manifestor now. Whereas before, I was kind of a slight projector. Without the 21 - 45 going into the throat I am technically a projector with a conscious 11-56.

Be that as it may, like many people are voicing on twitter and such. I am feeling a very strange feeling, a very otherwordly feeling lately. 

It is probably better for me to process this in relation to my personal life. Since, it is not at all easy to identify weird sensations in the collective. 

In my personal life. I have one main task. That is losing weight. I have a thick chest in reference to my bone structure. I really do seem to have captured that broadchested, "Leonian essence". I am far broader than my father was, as an example. He was a slight man. I think this is what has allowed me to conceal my own weight from myself. 

But I am definitely overweight now. My bmi started off at 27.8. Went down at one point to about 27.1 and now is somewhere in between there. I have been unable to lose weight. But I have put in a lot of the processes to start doing so (I find weight loss to be quite the process, i.e. having the foods in to create salads etc.). My goal is to get down to what was my ideal BMI when I was younger. 23.7. Which is about 10kg. 

I have also started, now that I realised that there are apps available for this now. Doing nofap. Ideally, in order to lose weight, the really powerful thing, if you do not want to starve yourself, is the gym. It is generally being able to get up and do exercise when you can't just eat a lot to give you the energy and enthusiasm, when a lower calorie intake has meant you have lower energy. NoFap is a strong push in that direction. I've just always wanted to do it and now I have an app that does it that seems to hit the spot well. I am on day 3. 

NoFap has been pretty powerful. It has been pretty powerful in clearing my mind in some manner and making me more focused. Making me more focused on mundane realities and better able to communicate. I also wonder about losing weight, and if there is some relevance to the Law of One where they said, in session 18.5: "Nothing needs to be overcome, that which is not needed falls away". 

Having the intent and energy to do this blog feels as though it came from NoFap and it might be that "writersblock" that I have been talking about on my youtube channel. 

The idea that a lot of emotions are held up in the fat is an interesting one to me, and I wonder if, as we lose weight, we also let go of that psychological baggage that it expresses.

The world itself though is weird. Weird for more reasons than I really want to talk about. If I check in with myself I don't really believe anything will legitimately change. But something is off. 

There is more I want to say, especially expanding on my previous thoughts on the human design. I need to properly express some of these. But they don't comfortably fit into the flow of this specific blog theme so I will do that in another post at some time.