I talked recently in the article, three blogs ago called 'The Boundary between the Conscious and the Unconscious'. About stopping a dream catcher and having nightmares because of that.
Before I started using a dream catcher, 15 years ago or so. I was having quite serious nightmares. Now that I have thrown the dream catcher away. I am having said nightmares again. I did have these infrequently while I had the dream catcher up. But I am getting them more frequently and intensely now. And definitely not related to my physical health issues that I have more of a handle on.
Unlike when I originally had a problem with dreams. There is a huge different in my physical health. And I am more confident in using tools like Prayer and the Law of One if it gets heavy.
My theory is this. Of the changes I have so far experienced. Of the benefit of the nightmarish dreams:
A) I have suppressed a lot of the mental anguish caused by my physical medical condition. This is just a way of getting through that.
B) I have strange ways of thinking that I think the dreams are trying to correct. I think in a neurodivergent way, I suspect. Sometimes, I don't completely get emotionally, that people exist. I also do not see hierarchy very easily. I look at people responding differently to a person at a different part of the hierarchy in confusion. And the only way I can replicate that is to follow rules very precisely. But in a way that is obviously unusual. I can only partially replicate emotional deference and eggshell walking.
I think the nightmares are trying to put back some of the emotions to do with that. For instance, when I have been bullied before, it has been a little distressing at the time, obviously increased by my medical condition. But there is also an irrelevance to it. A non caring. I think dreams that see people as 'demons' starts to re- experience what I should be experiencing when people are unpleasant. What I would experience if I were emotionally engaged.
It is the effect of being low status and it also provides a certain fire to improve aspects of my own life that relate to being low status. Things like motivating me to tidy or exercise. I am feeling a strong improvement in my self in this area. More determined to improve myself.
C) There could also be any other number of things the dreams are trying to encourage or impart. One of these is that in order to understand why I suddenly was not interested in X anymore. I think this is because I had more access to my negative emotions. These then accentuated until I experience 'entropy' in the part of me that was putting out material and engaging with that.
For instance, I might look into the work of Carl Jung for insight.
This blog entry has been kind of self focused but... I don't have any more to say on any other subject. Working slowly through the Law of One again and taking more detailed notes. On session 20 at the moment. Also profound insights from dream interpretation.
I am also experiencing a bit of an 'air out of the tyres' effect. One of the only things I have done to significantly effect my viewer count is to stop going on X. My viewers go down significantly when I do that. Which is odd, people don't click on my blog that much when I post it. So people on X must be seeing me and being reminded I exist and going on this blog.
"Care you not about the counting" - Law of One.
But I do not have the energy for any politics, or even gender war stuff I also mentioned recently. I will not be going on X again, I don't think. At least not until significant political events happen which mean I need a non MSM angle. I have also not had that many ideas for the blog recently. I seemed to have mega slowed down and when that happens. I often want to post about it so I don't feel a mild sense of guilt if I don't post (for a while or ever again!) But at the same time. Everytime that has happened before to my memory. I have gotten right back to it. It was a "false alarm".
Throwing away the dream catcher and nightmares have moved me into a different place.
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