Working with prayer. Prioritising wisdom.

These are my efforts at working with different prayers and their effects.

This was the one I used for years which I have decided recently not to use, and have got quite a lot of good effect from stopping:

St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle.

Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil.

May God rebuke him, we humbly pray, and do thou, O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by the power of God, cast into hell Satan, and all the evil spirits, who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

A very beautiful prayer. Like how much of the bible is very beautiful. It has literary merits even separate from theological ones. 

Anyway, in accord with the Law of One book 5 I decided this wasn't suitable. It tended to get me to focus on the evil 'out there'. To make up that mythology in my mind. When I had annoyances I would think of them while saying this prayer. 

So I changed it to this one, which Carla Rueckert said everyday:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

Another thing which I have also been working on during this time was affirmations. I have about twelve affirmations or so. The last one was "I am able to perceive auras". 

This one, in my view, created another kind of blockage or problem. I walked around seeing auras for a little while last night. But I do not think this is a thing that is useful to me. I think it fits in with this whole 'love' way of being that is not suited to me. 

I got a lot of effects from this. I was more able to listen to others. But at the same time. I had less to say. That doesn't sound like a big deal. But it is a big deal. We are often told to listen twice as much as we speak or other such things. But I have found when I don't express a great deal there is a lot of awkwardness and silence. Like people are waiting for me to speak. 

People, also, in practice. Do not want a deep conversation. They want to express their frustrations and have them unsolved. Because people don't change much anyway. With this prayer I found myself asking logical questions like what value system the person is basing what they are saying on. So that the problem does not recur. 

I also got two other issues. One was exhaustion. The thing with 'love' as a mode of being is that it is purely giving, while wisdom has to watch how it uses it's energy. The other was what felt like an almost manic episode late last night. A very intense feeling that love was the solution and desire to send visualised love and light to everyone I could think of. 

This was immediately met by a corrective dream. 

So this is the one I am now settling with. I feel strongly this one is far more positive and suited to me:

Lord, grant that I may always allow myself to be guided by You,
always follow Your plans,
and perfectly accomplish Your Holy Will.
Grant that in all things, great and small,
today and all the days of my life,
I may do whatever You require of me.
Help me respond to the slightest prompting of Your Grace,
so that I may be Your trustworthy instrument for Your honour.
May Your Will be done in time and in eternity by me,
in me, and through me. Amen.

It is ironic. Over time I have shortcutted within myself that female expressions are generally "love" and male generally "wisdom". This prayer, one of those of Saint Teresa of Avici. Was written by a woman, and is strong in wisdom I think. It strongly suits me. It already feels better than the Prayer of Saint Francis that felt good, but even after I said it initially would often feel quite draining. The one immediately previously was written by Saint Francis. Who was male. That one is a 'love' one. 

Saint Teresa of Avici seems to me like a very wisdom oriented person. She has the same sense of visions and guidance and such as Carl Jung (I think this is a fifth density thing! Most of the time.). Someone that it might be good for me to look into and read in general. 

Anyway, the affirmation to see auras is out. The prayer of Saint Francis is out. And the idea that love is some sort of solution is out. It is a part of the background energy. But I have to prioritise wisdom. Rather than visualise love to people that are negative or indifferent to me. I prioritise wisdom. Like playing guitar. Or looking at philosophy and such. 

With the social issues in my life. They are not going to be solved by loving anyone. But with navigating through them with wisdom.