Fun Science Fiction.
Before I go on, I want to say something that will come back later. I have recently finished watching 'Twelve Monkeys'. It is a very good show in relation to todays TV shows. Of which, in my view, outside of a few gems, often has a lot of shortcuts and lack of coherence and such.
Twelve Monkeys is the same in a way. The time travel storyline and emotional arc of the characters turns out to not make a lot of sense in my view. But the story is well enough put together to be good and there are some genuinely creative ideas in it.
One of them is the red forest. In this show, when a time travel paradox is created. It changes a forest from normal to red. Meaning the plants and such are all red. If people then take the leaves of these plants and put them in tea. They can time travel. Or time travel/ have a psychedelic experience. It is kind of both.
What is good in the show though is what a lot of shows do good. They set up the mystery amazingly. The characters are quite interesting. The show is extremely fun with a lot of action scenes. But overwhelmingly. The show creates this sense of mystery. This 'mystique'. You don't know why big things are happening and then some secret group or some time travel thing explains it.
Emotions and Jealousy.
I mentioned before I am trying to get a handle on the healing advice given by the Law of One in session 5.2. A quick summary is that the first part is to do with finding opposites of emotions and 'balancing' them. The second part is to do with accepting the self. 'It is not for a being of third density to pick and choose among it's attributes'.
In relation to the first part. The emotion I started with is jealousy. It is just where I intuitively went because it is something I don't have much experience of... I don't think. As in, it might be showing up in my life but I am not identifying it as such. But the sensation, if it is there, is not at all like the way others have shown it to me. I have seen people get aggressive and angry to the object of their jealousy. Which I have not experienced.
My first insight here is that 'what is the opposite of jealousy?' Thinking about another line from the Law of One. When they were describing sexual blockages: The second blockage is orange ray. The desire to be possessed or the desire to possess. Then is the yellow ray. The desire to control of the desire to be controlled.
So this clearly shows the opposite. Interestingly here 'the desire to be controlled' is not something often discussed in our culture. Because our culture likes victim culture and wants to make out the 'controlling' partner to be the devil incarnate. But I suppose there are a lot of reasons someone would actually want to be controlled. If they don't like making their own decisions and such? Anyway, that is a side note.
So jealousy then, would be the desire for others stuff - it's kind of also for their 'life force' as I have seen it. Or, is the opposite? The desire that others be jealous of you? I do actually experience that. I experience that as a kind of legitimate 'revenge'. If I were successful, then other peoples punishment for what I perceive to be bad/ disrespectful behaviour, would be to be on the sidelines and ignored, feeling jealous of my achievements and life.
The kind of thing that is very much shortcutted when you have a disability.
I talk a bit about how I have not had social experiences in my youth and that that is not a good thing. While it has often been a cognitive thing for me. I have set in my mind a pathway that I believed from the mainstream world that was not followed. Go to University type of place. A sequence of friends and girlfriends. Some time lived in a kind of hedonistic existence of working but mostly partying and then settling into a job and such with a long term partner/ wife. The social experiences were a prequel to that. A necessary building block. Without which, none of the rest of it happens.
But, is it cover for a more emotional experience? As I went walking the dog today I saw two attractive young girls loading a car. Moving or something. The feeling I feel then... Is it jealousy? I don't associate the feeling with jealousy because it is not directed AT anybody. There was a guy with them. That I just didn't care about. I don't look at the guy and hate him and want what he has. When I have experienced people being jealous towards me they hated ME. They would make comments about what I had said about music as an example. Since I genuinely practice. But there is still something there that might be comparable to 'jealousy'. A feeling or something?
It is also related to entitlement. People that feel jealous on some level feel entitled to have the thing that they are jealous about (i.e. music ability). That would seem to be linked in there somewhere.
Acceptance.
The acceptance side of the equation. When I am in nature, I passionately am reaching for something 'higher' and 'other' than this world. Tolkien once wrote that the value of fantasy is partly to enrich our experience of the world. So if people are reading about talking trees as an example. When they are out walking near trees they might think more about trees.
Linking back to my 'red forest' point at the beginning. There are other shows and books that have increased my thought and curiousity about nature. The weird super mold in The Expanse for example.
But when I am looking around at nature. I am trying to get myself in the moment to experience something 'other' than this world. It is a strong feeling. As I discussed in a previous blog. That kind of power, as talked about in sci fi. Would be able to undo the massive evil we see in the world today. I imagine what it would be like that some weird time travel thing changed and the nature that I am around turns to red.
In The Expanse. One of the most satisfying things in the book was that the supernatural mold that would do loads of stuff would not be controlled by the very limited and often 'bureaucratic' people in the story. I often experienced when I was younger a desire for something supernatural to 'break the will' of all the people that insisted on living in the real world and rejected the supernatural that I believed existed (I have grown from this now!)
But, this was what I experienced ALL DAY most of yesterday. When I prayed, that feel did go. I do feel it is easier to just appreciate 'what is'.
So where the 'acceptance' comes in is that I am a spiritual person. I do need to pray daily. That this is just the way it is. While a lot of my intellectualising does not conclude that prayer and that mindset is super important. That is nevertheless part of me. Perhaps a part I struggle to accept.
Learning the Ways of the Body.
I got a little bit of an idea what the Law of One was referring to when it talked about understanding your body and then other peoples body. Perhaps this:
Youtube: Proscopa Insights: How To Judge People By How They Look Physionomy Explained: August 1st 2026.
https://youtu.be/p7g65k0Vtiw?si=QhL3k4USn45_rWhW
I recall looking up physiognomy about a decade ago and there was just nothing on it. It appears to have grown in popularity, if you search for a book on Amazon there are now a lot of books on it.
Anyway, so those are my thoughts for today.

