Another odds and ends post.

I don't know if the reader has been following some things I have generally discussed on here. Personal updates. But at the moment, it is all coming together well for me here. Thus I wanted to do an odds and ends post. Talk about things I generally think are interesting and would want to talk about, but since I am in a bit of a "transition" place in my life at the moment, have not put in the full energy to make a post about said subject separately. 

I said that I had a medical issue, an ongoing medical issue, that was making my life difficult and that I was trying to treat with diet. Namely, I was trying to treat myself with chocolate/ caffeine, that stimulated my digestive system. I was hoping that improving my diet in concert with this was going to work. 

HOWEVER, since my eye issue, I have discovered that using the medication for this stomach issue is far better. Due in part to overwhelm. Once I stopped having the chocolate, I realised the chocolate was also causing the problem. Meaning, coming off chocolate completely has solved said problem. My digestion is now OK without the addition of caffeine. 

This means, without this digestion problem, and with the added tool of medication if I need it. I can go to the gym. Oh my god I love the gym, and health problems that I have had in this life has often stopped me going. But it is not stopping me going anymore. 

With that addition. I can also change my diet. Since I have a bit of hope I can lose weight. Before I go to any complex formulas like calorie counting I am doing the basics. Cut out cakes and crisps, decaf, gluten free oatmilk lattes. My high when I started weight loss was 87.7kg. My target is 75 kg. My success, when I first started getting into weight loss was 81kg. My baseline when no real effort was given was 84kg. And my current is 86kg.   

But, I have not been able to really have a good go at it without being able to do regular gym and I am hoping I can continue gym every other day for a month or longer. 

This was all, I'm sure not that interesting personal updates. But it all has an impact on the kind of thing I talk about here. I fundamentally talk about using these different spiritual tools. Meditation, dream interpretation, the Law of One, the Human Design and others, for personal growth. 

Benefit of the gym.

The gym is fitting into my personal understanding of these things. Of the great path that we all travel to some extent as I understand it. What I have noticed previously is doing exercise, going to the gym, has allowed me to look at the negative things in my life that were previously hidden. 

The way these highly homogenised new age spirituality tends to look at things is that it assumes the person reading is in the place of general negative thinking. Then it tries to counsel things such as positive thinking or visualisation. 

For me, this is not the way to moving forward, to 'evolution' so to speak. For me, my default is kind of positive. My baseline is an incredibly positive state to the extent that I like to, (when I remember to!) Go on one youtube per day on the topic of 'narcissism'. Simply because, I am so reliably conditioned away from any kind of negative thinking, I need these reminders. 

I will give an example from a while back to illustrate this. When I left my last job, I did not think about it much, there was just a bunch of stuff that happened. However, after a good gym session, I realised that someone, a manager from another team, had sat next to me and listened to everything I was doing, in order to cast my behaviours in the most negative light. (Often offering to help but always taking the most negative interpretation of my actions.)

My manager at the time had my back. But I had not noticed this until I had gone to the gym. Several years after I had left. I figure it is something to do with not feeling like you can take on the confrontation. Me subconsciously calculating that I could not stand up to the group. But once I went to the gym and exercised that anxiety out, that insight was suddenly revealed to me.

This happens a lot. It feels like it could be an entire process. When I am wondering about some bad thing that happened. For instance, a friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago. To see the real negativity involved takes this level of exercise. 

Another thing that happens is just generally wanting to see people in a positive light. Perhaps because they are sweet in some way. A lot of young, attractive, women have this general protection that exists in the minds of people in general.

I suspect, that there are layers to this. An insight that leads to a general insight that certain people did not like me, on the following gym session might lead to an even deeper insight in this regard. So this is a powerful aid to the "great work" as the Law of One called it. 

One ring to rule them all. 

I am reading Lord of the Rings. Thinking through what the ring could symbolise. It is an interesting book to read and I had quite a lot of "synchronicity" so to speak, to get me there. 

Not much to say here. Stefan Molyneux said in his last podcast on this with Duke Pesta, that the ring might be propaganda and I might eventually agree with that. 

I have been thinking it could be a few different things though. It is made of pure gold as one. That could represent the corruption possible through wealth. When the ability to create value, takes that wealth and turns it to corruption making a person very hard to oppose. 

It is also a 'hole', a ring. Which could represent female reproductive organs. Also it is what is worn on the finger in marriage. This could mean the incredible power that women have when casual sex is a possibility. 

They pretty much run everything. Between money and that kind of female power that also relates to marriage, that is a lot. 

But my ideas on it are not yet complete. If I do finally decide on something it has to fit with every little detail about the ring. The fact it turns people invisible. The fact that it talks to people 'in their own voice' and tells them they will be the first ones to use the rings power for good. The fact that it takes the user into a different dimension of sorts. The fact that it allows you to understand languages you didn't previously understand when you are there. But importantly, the reason Tom Bombadil, Faramir, and to an extent Sam, were immune to the ring. As well as the Elves rings not being corrupted.

General Law of One thoughts. 

My big issue a while back was not being able to come off caffeine hence not being able to do session 32.1. This has changed now. I do drink alcohol. But not that often, and definitely even less when it might interfere with my gym session. But chocolate was always something that screwed me up quite bad. Screwed me up in a mental way and stops me sleeping after a while. I am very glad I have come off it. 

I had tried to follow Jades ideas previously, and had come away from it. Feeling that if I did affirmations to the Creator while tidying it was kind of maddening. I found another solution. After the gym I can just get on with tidying with no problem. I just feel good and hence 'just do it'. 

Healing:

I have mentioned my many attempts and issues with energy healing. Feeling previously that when I did it I felt like I was kind of 'dying inside'. I feel that not masturbating, the male sex drive, offers an alternative to this. I.e. even if I am healing if I have that energy there I will still feel alive. 

It is not healthy to not masturbate. I did manage 13 days. But it is not something that I've ever been able to do. It is also possibly not healthy. At the moment, as long as I have not masturbated for three days I will consider doing energy healing and I prioritise meditation in a big way. Because, spiritual teachings is very primary for me I believe on a deeper level. Way moreso than healing.  

The Human Design:

I have been following the transits recently. I had distinct experiences and perceptions that related to the 44-24, the 1-2, with the 1-8 channel being defined through Uranus, and the 43-23. These were big noticeable changes. But I am also at the end of this blog so I won't go into them now.  

Q stuff. 

A few interesting Q posts and other interesting things recently. What I also want to follow up on is reflections on the emotional implications on such big changes in our lives coming. I have had dreams specifically to this. Is it that all is forgiven because the world will transition so strongly? Or is it that we have the right to our feelings and it is good to hold people accountable to their previous behaviour? 

Conclusion.

As I said previously, I am so happy recently that it is becoming less obvious to me why I would blog at all. Not that blogging is bad at all. But these, and more, are some of the things going through my mind at the moment.  

I do imagine over the long term as well, things like consistent exercise will change my personality at what seems like a very core level. But we will have to wait and see. Perhaps this change would lead to a different output.