You're so f'n special.

Listened to this cover a few times:

Youtube: Sunniva: I wish I was special: Posted December 10th.  

https://youtu.be/tgJbDleeoW4?si=ldH0ThmZ9r3z_VAK 

I hadn't actually heard the song before and I have almost never clicked on a song I have not already heard on youtube. But I did, then I went around looking at other covers and all of them were unsatisfactory. I went to the original musicians, Radiohead. The song is called creep. 

It is a great song. But I believe it is misinterpreted by most people playing it.  

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here 

The function of music, for me, is largely to do with processing emotions and often emotions that can't be processed any other way. If someone feels bad and they put on Shostakovich or Max Richter. If they feel rage at being treated by a woman, a theme a bit like this song, perhaps that Puddle of Mudd 'She f'n hates me' or perhaps Nickelback. Emotional chaos and it's Blonde redhead. Etc. 

It can also be there to inspire good moods. Such as Elvis Presley, or Christmas music in general. Or other feelings like the general feeling of intellect and profundity (Bob Dylan).

But it's interesting to me how gritty hard feelings can come through in music. Perfectly woven, all the dense nastiness, into something beautiful.

This song is that I think. To analyse these lyrics, it starts as a kind of love song, and that's the way a lot of singers translate it. They focus on those first two lines, about a woman looking like an angel, and they form it a bit more like a James Blunt song. But the song is not that. 

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul. 

It is a song about resentment, and in a way it is the opposite of a love song. 

Resentment is an interesting emotion in general. The Law of One encourages deep multi faceted analysis of our own emotional being. It's not really jealousy, but it is jealousy. It's not really anger, but it is, also, anger.  

I can guarantee you that the girl he is singing about does NOT in fact, think she is 'So fucking special'. But if someone said that to you, would you think that person loved you? Like really loved you? Would you think that person would support you? Or would they passive aggressively tear you down?

It is more about the person singing it. "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here?" Might even hint towards suicide which is where really dysfunctional, destructive personalities, often go.  

It's something I like about this cover. It is sung straight. There is no hint of love at the beginning. It is probably not even slightly planned. But when she sings 'Couldn't look you in the eye'. It is harsh. She is also, seemingly to me, naturally a singer as her timing is perfect and her tone is also flawless.

When she sings 'I'm a creep" at about 1 minute 58, it has emphasis. Because the song is about a kind of hatred of himself when presented with this being, that presents itself as perfect, and that is an image he hates. She also probably looks like the object of the singers affection. So the fact that she covers the song so well, and simulates the feeling of self disgust. Adds to the significance for me.  

I probably won't do this but I would like to cover the song myself. If I were to, I would want to substitute "very" at the end of the first verse, as most people have done... "You're so very special". So people would assume that I was polite or something, then at the very last repeat of that line actually drop the f-bomb, revealing I was never afraid to be rude.  

Because the resentment is hidden.