Vexing spiritual issues.

At the moment. I have had a surgical procedure. I thought it would be a normal procedure. I imagined it as being fairly easy. Like, they would put a tube in me and I would be upright and chatting fine, but the actual procedure itself was more serious than that.

For this reason. I am low on energy. Sleeping 12 hours and even outside of that, on top of the 12 hours; laying about, and not even watching TV sometimes. 

I just watched a livestream by Bryson Grey. In which he is discussing his faith and what he has discerned from the bible. It made the case that a problem during the time after Jesus' time. Expressed in Romans 1-4. Was that the Jews of the time were trying to make the case that only Jews had received the blessings of God through Jesus. And Paul was trying to make the case his words applied to everyone. Also, quite explicitly. Paul talking about salvation through works. Not faith. 

Throws a bit of a spanner in the works. It doubts the idea I have had thus far as Paul being a false prophet. If Paul was responding to unhealthy ideologies amongst Jesus' followers... Then it puts him in a more positive light. I still have the information from what I have absorbed via Aaron Abke. But it is interesting nonetheless. And it casts a bit of doubt on the idea that it is best to stop communion. 

I am vexed. 

I wonder if the best way to actually understand this all is to actually read the bible and see what I think. I have read parts. I remember reading Acts. That I thought was hysterical. Because it basically involved the Disciples setting up a kind of Commune and... I kid you not... Killing people in a kind of Darth Vader fashion that didn't donate enough to it. This is directly in the text. I didn't get it off a youtuber. But perhaps reading a larger part of it. Corinthians. Romans etc. To see what general message I get from these things. Would solve some of these issues. 

I am in a slump. Perhaps this theological slump has arrived at the same time as the energy one for a reason. That I can think these things through. I am not praying. I need a bit of energy to pray. I am enjoying the gym far less. Which is annoying. Meditation feels great. It feels like I am getting a bit of energy back slowly. But like I said, I am in a "slump". The surgery felt like a bit of a "violation", and I feel I have picked up a kind of sadness.