Analysing a blockage.

I wanted to talk through the 'blockage' I am experiencing here. Not because I massively feel I 'owe' the readers anything in particular since the blog and youtube channel are not paid. But, within me, it is important to keep an outlet for the metaphysical ideas I discuss. It will give increased clarity to discuss this on the blog. 

This is the excerpt from a youtube post I have that made me really question my own sanity. When I read it back to myself it sounds kind of crazy, or it did the other day. I understand it a little more now. It appears my moods are controlling me a bit much:

I will not even say which planet or experience this was. But recently, I had a deep emotional experience. I realised my emotions had played my thoughts like a puppet for many years, a clear emotional route has been inspiring what I have been engaging in as "thinking". Insights have come in stages. I had this insight, that is obviously a long time coming, within a day of a very specific longer term transit. Mad stuff. A very intense experience and realisation.

I cannot recall precisely what this was, but I think what it was is that I have only just recently learned, had the personal insight, that philosophy is extremely important to me. I recall recently hearing some definitions, some thing I am thinking through from having heard them on youtube videos, that are really effecting me positively.

With someone like me so excessively cerebral. Having the language to articulate my inner world is extremely important. 

Looking back on my life this has obviously been an insight that has been waiting in the wings for years. Like I have heard others say, often when I have an insight I feel a little upset at the amount of positively I could have experienced if I had the insight earlier. But the insight only happens now. EXACTLY as Saturn is sitting on the same hexagram that represents that point in my chart.

My conscious North Node, that I believe represents philosophy, is at gate 25.6:

 

There are things of note here in that the gate 25 doesn't have a link to the throat. I believe the energy always travels upwards from below the throat. The energy cannot travel 25 -> 51.

Anyway, my point is here, an insight I had into the transit of Saturn, was rephrased in a way that kind of supported a kind of overthinking I do and furthermore, confused me. Perhaps just having stated this exactly would have made more sense and my need for privacy is a little at fault here. 

I am trying to improve my overall psychology by doing something that is massively needed. That is going to the gym. It is very important I go to the gym and when I don't go, in the times before I need to go, I experience a kind of dizzying discomfort and subtle anger. I need to go now in fact. I normally go two days when I can, when some health issue hasn't stopped me going. Yesterday I did not want to risk my back after a harder workout Monday evening. So I will go this evening. 

I am hoping going regularly will improve my psychology enough for me to be more comfortable and coherent in my output. I am hoping long term it simply changes my psychology. But we'll see how it goes.