I have, for the longest time, stayed aprised of the output of a lot of youtubers that talk about narcissism and such. The reason being, as I see it. Is that I am kind of 'neurodivergent' in a way. In that, because of my physical health condition. I think a bit differently, and I am vulnerable, in a sense.
I do have the positive thing of not having a lot to offer anyone that would want to exploit me. Someone that is a friend of mine is not going to suddenly find themselves out on the town with a bunch of beautiful women. There is 'no gold to dig', so to speak. When I say a positive thing, I do not mean that sarcastically. I recall a dream I had once where I was from a rich family with friends and lovers that were not real friends and lovers; and everybody being left wing and I couldn't say anything about it.
Every positive, has a potential negative attached to it. Money and social status are those honours that can also be burdens.
So, I infrequently meet manipulative people. But I have, in the past, known manipulative people. I have thought through, fairly complex manipulations that happened in work places. Learning all the buzz terms of narcissism such as 'triangulation'. When I first found this material I watched a video a day. Now, before the insight that lead to this article. I only followed two youtubers that discuss this subject and would check in just every so often. Maybe once a week.
This entire subject reminds me of the subject of what is 'transcient'. Transcient is how the Law of One described conspiracy information. I got very into conspiracy for a few years. Very into. Like, every day into. But I have come away from it slowly but surely to this point now where I don't even go on X. Which is the lightest conspiracy there is. Since it only comes up in 1/20 posts or so. And even then, very mildly.
With these things. With both narcissism info and conspiracy. I have started to believe that engaging with both of them is not positive for what I want in my life at this moment. The reason is simple. When things happen in our lives. We get anxious in dealing with them. When I, and people around me, experience a lack of clarity about the future. Due to a truly terrible job market. Due to having absolutely no clear idea of what is going to happen in the future politically (Well, I have some Q understanding, but that is a bit obscure!). This is an experience of anxiety. And I could, if I wanted, go onto various very technical political sources. Promethean Action for example. But this would get rid of that anxiety. It would put me in a technical mindset and maybe, the catalyst of providing me anxiety. Is for me to process without outside sources.
A similar thing with narcissism info. I recently got a message from a friend, a friend that was close enough once upon a time for this to cause deep emotions. I was trying to reconnect with him and, this will sound ridiculous and made up but it is not far away from what was said; "I am sorry I responded legitimately to you being a FUCKING ASSHOLE" - Unironically labelled as a legitimate apology. It took me several days, and running this through AI, to realise; it was not a proper apology!
But, what of processing this on my own? Away from narcissism videos? Well, it caused emotion. The emotion means thinking these things over and coming to my own conclusions. It actually meant I started to make a good song. ("It starts 'I'm sorry you're such an asshole, my apology might need some work!'") Whereas, one of the youtube channels I used to follow, someone I hold in high regard. Made a video about the false apology of the narcissist about ten days before I got the email, that really explained everything in, what I feel to be, obviously correct, terms.
But it takes the entire thing away from my own processing. When I am thinking this through myself I come to less clear conclusions. But, the conclusions that I will come to will be more useful to me and hence, will be remembered better. Why am I not completely immune to manipulation tactics having watched many hundreds of videos by now? Because obviously, it didn't stick.
A similar thing to what I have recently talked about about in relation to philosophy (or psychology, referencing Carl Jung, either!). As much as I liked it as a tool in the past when I was kind of growing my wisdom. It doesn't seem so relevant now. It does not feel like it provides useful insights. Since the great philosophers wrote down their ideas. Two things have happened. One, those ideas have spread quite far due to the internet. Now even laymen can understand Nietzsche, for example. Two, those same people are intelligent in their own right. The narcissism video on apologies I mentioned, reasons through in fantastic clarity. Youtube is a bit of a free market still.
I have also already collected information from these sources. It is not like I am rejecting them outright. Only coming away from further information collection.
One of the best feelings I have known. Was the one I got when I started looking at the Law of One. It is a feeling of being utterly alien but in a positive way. Like an alien, positive vibe was just, 'in everything'. I don't get such a strong feel like that from the Law of One anymore. But I do get it from somewhere else... Dream interpretation, combined with the Law of One. I have three years of dream interpretation to catch up with! It won't be long until it is four! So for me, perhaps the point is to start to create my own ideas on these things?
And, the thing about dealing with narcissistic types of things. Manipulations in general. That has always irked me a little. Is that the discussion is always centred on the manipulator. But actually, when it comes to other people. We will very rarely actually know anything about how they operate internally, especially if they are hiding it. So the focus should obviously be on behaviours we can have in our everyday life that are just naturally positive for us and that discourage these kinds of manipulations and interactions in general.
Like, an example of this might be the Law of One. The interaction I explained, with the friend that reconnected and it went south. Well, that person is a pure Generator. Who, has always, initiated. Is not interested in the Human Design. And I, being a Manifestor. Was reacting in a way that upset the tempo of his initiations - I was holding him to the standard of someone that should naturally initiate, another Manifestor. This begins to offer a different model as to how to interact. A different way to hold this various information. It actually gave me an insight into why, mechanically, the Generator shouldn't initiate and the Manifestor can. Or said more correctly. The blockage that forms when the Generator initiates.
There are also other things I might put together if I am not disturbing my own processing with outside sources. There have been several times people have tried to manipulate me. I remember, in detail, each one. And what was happening. Why they appeared to do what they did in the larger context. Pulling some of these different examples together I can use pattern recognition to potentially come to other, original conclusions.
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