This latest eclipse, in my view, was something special!
The Erika Kirk speech at Turning point to commemorate Charlies passing at the time of the funeral. Had her offering her forgiveness to the attacker.
Which meant that both Stefan Molyneux and Pearl Davis talked about the theme of forgiveness without contrition. I think this is a hugely important societal point. The idea that forgiveness without contrition is not a positive, is an argument, I believe a correct argument, that is struggling to gain ground. But hopefully with Stefan back on twitter he will reach a larger audience in his discussion about this. Pearl Davis was talking about it too.
It is something I am thinking about too. I have had the same dream again and again, the same upsetting feel to a same dream. I have explored easily ten different potential interpretations. The last one I explored was needing to take Christianity more seriously. Not that I don't but just making sure to listen to more Christian speeches and such. But it was not that, I got the dream again.
It is maddening! It is very positive and productive for keeping me focused on these areas.
I have dreams back from 2017 and I have been searching the term "University" and "School" in relation to this. I hope as my will power is obviously focused on solving this piece of imagery I will be subconsciously aided in this.
But one thing I'm thinking it might be at the moment is being aware of "narcissism" type of themes and handling them. It might be that. That might be wrong too. But if it was, if this is finally the right interpretation, it would also be this same theme. Not offering forgiveness without contrition.
I did so recently. I did not really realise I was doing it. But as someone that is disabled I am fairly weak in things like holding a grudge. I spend a lot of time alone. I reason myself out of taking past slights too easily. So I end up contacting people again. This is also partly when I think that I was probably not in the right due to my illness putting pressure on me and me acting in strange ways.
Quite often though, the person in question does not like me, and is potentially frustrated I did not hear them when they told me previously. I am often told these things subtly.
I had an experience like that recently. My half sister, I have tried very hard to relate to her. As I did I think I have identified a compulsive part of my psychology that related to things I have previously talked about here. I mentioned how I had this part of myself that tries to offer more and more information and reasoning to people (long messages) instead of recognising there is no real connection.
Nevertheless, from the very beginning, since she was about 14, she started cancelling arrangements and various things. I used to give her birthday and Christmas presents and she never gave me anything. The entire thing has been an extremely draining set of interactions.
The problem is, and I think I want to point this out in relation to the manifestor strategy. That my effort to continue to contact her and such, puts her, and many others I have had this same chemistry with, in a position of power. It's like the people on the Law of One forum. When I bring up something to discuss that I have learned through careful study of the Law of One. They can receive the information and offer their unresearched opinion as though it was real information, because I have essentially set myself up in a weak position by initiating. I am saying 'I would like you to join me in this discussion'. To which is the response is 'Yes, here is my enlightened viewpoint'.
With my half sister, very often when I contacted her she ignores me and when we have been in contact, she has ignored me or cancelled some arrangement or something and I have broken it off for this reason. The last time we met, I asked her when we would meet again. This would seem, if we were both equal, a positive thing to prioritise, since we were not in contact for a while for precisely this issue, but she gave me a date and then cancelled later. Only after I contacted her though she didn't cancel ahead.
The point I want to make here. Is that continuing to contact her has happened via a kind of forgiveness. Language seems to have less than the specificity needed. But I did not refuse to contact her because she had cancelled on me and been generally condescending and unpleasant. It was a kind of weakness. The attempt to negotiate from a weak position but not even negotiate. The lying to myself that such things can be painted over.
The correct response, was for me to not give forgiveness without contrition. To not contact her. To not have anything to do with her. To stay true to the teachings that I have absorbed, believe in, and even worked out myself partially before I heard them.
I did contact my sister though, and the response I got back was that she thought I was trying to sleep with her. That was not precisely what she wrote, but almost, and when I queried her on it she didn't correct me. I felt kind of sickly for several days because of this and kept trying to go to churches which were closed.
But it is a level of delusion and hatred from her that I think has been going on for a long time. I also didn't have the energy to deal with it. Like, the literal energy. There is not enough positivity in the core relationship to support this additional negativity. If someone does this kind of thing, avoids meeting with another, there is a reason. I suspect all of my attempts to meet up, all my attempts to communicate, have been met on her side with this kind of hatred. Discussing with whoever, whatever thing I did which was somehow politically or socially incorrect that offended her.
While I can't speak for this person precisely. My thoughts are that all the people in my life that made an effort to be unpleasant at some time have done so because they do not want to associate with someone like me who has a disability and various other issues. Such as unemployment.
Part of having a condition like this is accepting that kind of thing to be true and not wanting to change it. That people have the right to be like they are and even if it is not 'fair' so to speak, to recognise that negative tools are not preferable. They are following their free will, their freedom of association. Etc.
Nevertheless, the eventual truth is that sometimes holding a grudge against people for this kind of thing is really damn functional! Had I have not let go or forgiven my half sisters early flakey nature, a whole set of not particularly pleasant experiences of trying to be nice to her in some way would not have happened! I tend to think that going to the gym will allow someone to have a more healthy view in this area as well. Experiencing the conflict, without getting too anxious about it.
But I do want to say that I believe, that even if things changed and all these people did change their mind and offer contrition. I believe it would be my right to not let it go and not see them again. That is where my head is at anyway. I haven't seen some of these people for ten years now and I barely saw my half sister enough to get to know her due to her avoidance. Why would I suddenly want to make that investment later?
I mentioned narcissism a few posts ago in relation to one of those women that thinks they got more intelligent by getting a degree. That was someone whose teachings I did not rate. The below though is a narcissism teacher who is just next level. Rather than confusing the area in buzz terms, he talks about metaphors that we know are true, but the whole area is very hard to describe I think. The metaphor is true, you are richer for having known it, but you can't really get specific behaviours from it always:
Youtube: Richard Grannon: Narcissism as a Ghost Story ... Escaping the Shared Fantasy. Dated 22nd of September 2025:
https://youtu.be/TNA3oVPD71A?si=7PKSWIxXCdmdocWR
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