Learning!

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Every so often, this has happened several times that I remember, I meet someone, or am due to meet someone, or there is some sort of interaction and I receive a kind of 'shock'. One time this happened just after meeting someone, whom it turned out did dislike me like I thought at the time. It just happened today.
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This is a psychic thing. And it has given me some much needed guidance today. I received this shock in relation to an arrangement that could have happened but didn't. And A) I do effect someone, and B) The thing I was doing instead of going to this arrangement was to go and look at guitars. I had needed a lot of caffeine to go and view the guitar otherwise my 'lifeforce' wouldn't support me.
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So I effectively stimulated myself with caffeine to go and do something that was not the best thing for me to do. Had I have not had the chocolate, I may not have had the energy to go against what turned out to be my own intuition.
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This is good. I am FANTASTICALLY learning. It's time to stop indulging in chocolate and things. I am messing with real spiritual advancement and life has moved in such a way that decisions matter. Imagine keeping at this, plus the non masturbating and other spiritual things I am doing for about a year. That will be pretty good!
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I feel great about this. Firstly the Ra material said if an entity forgives self they 'never repeat the behaviour again' and secondly, the amount of anxiety I will get will be amazing if I am really doing my life path, my spirituality and functioning at that level. And I like, and NEED the anxiety. It's a drug now.

Successful practice.

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I have to say one practice I have engaged in that has been extremely successful is the stopping of masturbation.
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The thing is, the psychic senses I get, or the 'changing of minds when thinking of different people' can severly unground me. With my own energy in my root chakra. I simply feel that I don't lose myself.
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I just sent a message to my sister who is a very grounded 'girl', lives in the real world. Very sixth density. The emotions I have gotten since sending that have left me simply without memory of who I was just a few minutes ago.
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But with my own energy in my root I still feel like I am 'here'. Before I would need thoughts and perhaps neurosis in order to justify my existence.
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Definitely an energy that belongs inside me and doing me good by grounding me, rather than sent to some porn star somewhere or a girl that I have met and been attracted to at some point in my life.
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It also seems to make me lose polarity or 'will power' when I used to do that. As I said before I felt that on some psychic/ subconscious level I had lost a battle and others could take advantage of me if I engaged in that.

Guardian comment.

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After a post of mine was deleted on a guardian thread. That was a response to something that someone else had said I wrote another post on that page, highlighting all the deleted responses saying; Busy day for moderators.
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And it was just deleted. Not even a reason. They couldn't say that was against community guidelines.
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It's a strange feeling of not really existing. Not really having an impact on the world.
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It reminds me of when I was younger I had two dreams. In one of them I was walking around, aware it was a dream, and there was a Nazi train and because I was aware it was a dream I just ignored the people getting rounded up into the train.
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Then the second one was when I had gotten annoyed at myself and I was having a fight with the Gua ould with a friend. A good friend :). I got shot and I died, and I walked around the dream not being able to effect anything.
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And that's how I feel. Like I'm not able to effect anything. There are a hundred minor little bullyings that are happening, not thankfully with family or anything like that, but usually online. And the big wide world with all it's problems. There doesn't seem to be any tools I can use there while remaining positively polarised.
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So I just can't really effect anything.

The 'Power' to interact with people.

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How is it that the 'truth' can be demanded from people.
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I think I have done this kind of thing before, posted a similar blog to this. It must be a kind of 'losing polarity' phase. I don't see how we can interact in the world if the second we come up with something that has resistance in the world. People can effectively depolarise us by ignoring us etc.
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And so I think of different ways that it could go, this David Wilcock move towards a Utopian society, (and ascension). This has always been part of my message.
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But, the most likely as far as I can see at this moment. Is the mainstream way. I just don't see it happening the glorious Benjamin Fulford way.
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So. Ukip and Labour form a coalition government. Labour is determined to crush all big business. I heard someone say once about Ed Miliband that he really does hate David Cameron. But we also get a referendum.
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It doesn't really feel right. I don't want a run on big business really because it seems so incredibly slow. But say this was a slow transition.
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The timetable is for a referendum in say: 6 months. Since the Eurozone is going to be destroyed anyway soon.
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Before that. Tax goes up on big business and there is a sudden rise in service to others polarity. The American system is changing because of something to do with NSA or something like that. Or debt.
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We start to move towards the arrest of the banks and big business. Paedophiles are getting arrested left, right and centre and there is a sudden rise of small business and hence jobs. After two or so years. After the unsuccessful European Referendum (I'm losing faith in people). But facing the fact the European's member states are leaving anyway. After two or so years the conversation, after the arrest of so many banking members, starts to move towards creating a real currency. Russia and China have some link in here even though wars in Ukraine and other parts of the middle East have carried on unabated. With some notable extreme improvements in places like Morocco and Iran, possibly Iraq.
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After the transition to gold, as a real currency, and a lot of international fanfare about this and some revelations of some (even more) fraud and controversy, implicating world war 2 factors.
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Business starts to get more interesting, people are happier although not very secure since things keep changing.
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Movies are more powerful. Convergence comes out. Scrub that, we've been waiting on Convergence for years. But say movies are more powerful and there is a slow shift in consciousness, people talking more about spiritual matters. The NHS is partly improved, but not massively, people are still dying. Benjamin Fulford is still saying "They're all going to be arrested." Or he just simply disappears.
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All in all. The thing that doesn't fit in all this is me. That's when it starts to seem more of a false dilemma. I don't fit in this reality. So lets say it all went a lot quicker. In about a year we have major, mega, everyday stressful revelations coming out. Psychological survival at the rate the economy is moving is not assured. It is tough because you're getting ET this and healthy food that.
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I can see this. I can imagine this. The healthy food flooding the fast food stores, loads of revelations and people happy and meeting up to discuss ET's and other things. REAL parties in the streets every so often for the more earthy inclined people (?). Real parties where people are genuinely happy.
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Healthy foods flooding the high street. Jobs popping up all over the place. People who are not into this area just shut down. Just can't take it. They do normal jobs which are kept around in a kind of 'tongue in cheek' fashion and spend a lot of the time just thinking about stuff everyday and then go home and watch TV, which slowly educates them. But which they are genuinely involved with.
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So where does truth fit in in all this? Well, people will just be able to express themselves, have money and food, and be able to just play their music or write their films. Life sounds good. How movie makers will probably still be around for those whose desire is to sleep. But truth, as in the insisting of truth is not an issue because; it is obvious, there is no resistance. If I say something or ask someone something. Even highly psychic and unusual, it is heard and accepted.
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But psychic would be so normal I may be able to simply read minds and it may become a non issue.
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I probably though, would still not be able to really insist on the truth. It sounds like a very unconscious existence. I wouldn't want to live in a life where things are supressed on any level. Not for the convenience of anyone.
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So perhaps I would be heading to ascension. As all this comes out my already distracting psychic and spiritual abilities would become stronger. It depends on how much stress there is on the real world I have to get through before there is more harmony. You might call that how much 'karma'.
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And if I could get understood and genuinely dealt with on the spiritual level by entities that could see these things. Perhaps I would be able to set a pathway for my life. That is the goal. A pathway. There is no pathway. I am blocked off and wanting something to happen in the world in order to be able to improve myself.
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Christianity and the new left hand path.

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This is a strange blog to write. It has come as a result of a long experience in this area and many different thoughts.
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But it seems to me that the Law of One is a little bit at odds with certain Christian principles, or certain Christians. Specifically, the Law of Free Will.
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Three experiences I will summarise:
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The first was when I went to a jobcentre meeting to improve my CV, at the end of the meeting, I was enjoying the womans company. But she wanted to talk about astrology having had experience in the New Age area of some sort. She had said that it had all gotten a little dark, and crucially, it came out later she had now become Christian.
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She had wanted to talk about astrology and I started talking a little about it but not much. My intuition was holding me back. I had remembered earlier she had blocked something I was saying about a planet and I received a sudden intuition that I didn't even really pay attention to, to leave.
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On reflection I had realised she was wanting to break me away from what she considered to be my 'sinful' path. When I said something about how the cross didn't work with astrology she had said 'that's because it's opposing it.'
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The second experience is Carla Rueckert and her decision to challenge a person whom was most likely David Wilcock. I remember when I had asked her about it on the page for 'In the Now'. She hadn't wanted to answer.
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Now the reflected Neoliberal social stigma of behavioural etiquette doesn't really allow me to infer other peoples behaviours or feelings, from coincidental events. But I will do so anyway. I asked that question which is fair. Then for a while she didn't answer that made me a little annoyed but not too annoyed. As time continued it became difficult to keep my facebook open, it seemed as though I was having to fight a loss of polarity in order to do so and in effort to keep above a certain level was getting myself involved in all sorts of drama.
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That sounds strange but the second my will power broke. After ages of keeping it quite strong, keeping my will power in a strong place. The second it broke in a certain thread, she posted another In the Now on her facebook. Which she had not been doing coincidentally avoiding my David Wilcock comment.
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This is a metaphysical challenge of sorts and I will explain the significance of it in a second.
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The last thing was having a conversation with a guy over email who, although he was perfectly nice. Obviously subscribed to a view that was more 'doom laden' than the positive one I ascribe to, and to me, and a reflection in the Law of One, is that that is more of a negative view.
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I will describe it as follows. Even though I don't really want to. The David Wilcock/ Benjamin Fulford stuff is all going to happen but is going to be replaced by negative beings. And the righteous Christians will ascend. Leaving the rest of humanity in their own 'sinful' hands.
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OK. There is a similar strain between these three teachings in that the target is always a kind of 'higher wisdom' from a positive place. Replaced with unthinking dogma. There is astrology, (and an incidental connection to the same sort of thinking in my brain, music). This is something that is implicitly a part of me and links in my mind with the David Wilcock/ Don Elkins scientific sort of thinking on free energy etc.
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The other two are both on positivity that comes from a David Wilcock kind of scenario. What I think happens is:
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The higher thought patters involved in astrology, music and philosophy are stopped by the Christian ideas. The Christian principles of the church (not of the Edgar Cayce sort of variety). This is a fifth density thing. It is the potentiating from the inside of wisdom. Christianity stops this because it stops the inner potentiation of wisdom. And replaces it with the wisdom of the more traditional biblical ideas.
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So, there is obviously a natural metaphysical protection against the Christian being confronted with information that would potentiate their own inner form of knowing. Like how the jobcentre lady intuitively blocked information on the higher planets (Pluto, I also met a Christian astrologer who didn't recognise the outer planets.)
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This is all it is. The fifth density is here potentiating and when the knowledge gets too much and it's time to get on with something in the real world of just simply 'turn off the stress' of Uranus etc. (As in Nigel Farage or Bob Dylan, not sure on that first one since he is not a strong member of the church). They turn to Christianity and others of the Christian leaning have these defences as well.
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So, this goes on and becomes more than a defense mechanism. It becomes an attack. Someone like Carla Rueckert doesn't like David Wilcock (or theoretically Don Elkins either), and this massively sophisticated conspiracy theory and other ideas results from the attempt to block the raise in vibration. So that the Christian can happily live a life of service to others without being bothered by any troublesome ideas.
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The troublesome (higher) ideas can and do stop service to others polarisation. Think of it like if you were working in a supermarket you can get on fine being loyal to the cross. But if you allow the higher energies in then suddenly, you may desire to do something creative and accent your personal needs. You may want to create a picture or sing a song. Or read an astrology book. You may desire to vote UKIP or look at conspiracy theories (although a slightly more 'transcient' use of those energies).
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But going back to the 'challenge' I said I would come back to. In this planet if you are 'uncapped' fifth density. And exploring these ideas. Then you are not always service to others. Or you are in the real sense but in the energetic and more fourth density sense it may get tricky. You cannot always accept what others have to give.
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So we have these two groups. Those that are with the cross, in their own level of learning. And those who are not. Theoretically these should work in tandem some of the time. But for me, as someone who loves music, astrology and higher thinking in general. To give those things up would be awful. And Christian dogma to me is just awful as well. These are the true service to self for me.
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But if I get an idea, and have to defend an idea. There is every chance I will essentially have to move slightly STS to do it. We can't say David Wilcock is completely STO in the energetic sense, (although he is clearly very STO), but he is working towards the arrest and destruction of others, even if it is for the good of society, in a strictly theoretical sense it is not STO.

What's going to happen?

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I hope that some of the people reading this have some understanding of the David Wilcock story, because I don't plan to summarise it.
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When something does happen what is it going to be? The world seems a little topsy turvy. Conspiracy information is growing more and more mainstream. It is just normal now. No one trusts the government.
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Rotherham town council have been taken over by the government because of their lack of tendency to investigate child sex allegations. HSBC and tax evasion is in the news. UKIP are on the up. The Eurozone is in the spot light.
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If there is going to be a moment when we're all taken over and the cabal is offed, it strikes me that this will not 'feel' very good. It will be good for those of us who know what is going on. But having your government replaced by a foreign power will implicitly feel STS, and it is. The English public, are they STO? The Conservatives did get in the last election. The Daily Mail has a large readership.
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It strikes me as more likely that UKIP would gain ascendancy through planned coincidences, which are in favour of the good. Such as this Rotherham thing. Then people will have an actual grip of what's going on.
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But you can't force compliance. What if the UK did get to a referendum and didn't vote to leave the Euro? More planned evidence perhaps.
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So who knows what's going to happen. I certainly don't. I know that the Uranus- Pluto square is in 24 days. The very last one. And the Uranus Pluto square reflects something going on in the world that is also happening in my psyche to do with the fight of good and evil. I think often how positive it is that I am locked in third density at the moment since having to make concessions like I will/ may have to, when for instance someone treats you in a way that you have to act other than perfectly ethically. Anyway, having to make those concessions would put me in trouble on the higher levels. But I can earn service to others polarity while I am in third density and I at least theoretically have time for real service to others work on this planet before it's time to leave. 

Shooting up a vibration level.

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Shooting up a vibration level.
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From where I was a second ago. I sent an angry text to a friend that had patronised me, and which there are loads of potential energetic connections. Fully got rid of my anger and my vibration raised.
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UKIP. The party of the so- called racist. Although that's not even slightly true now is it. Crisis in Europe, HSBC tax scandal, UKIP's first public platform and doing well in the polls. This is it, this is how it happens.
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Recently David Wilcock said he was stepping down on the conspiracy area to focus on ascension. After that happened, or during, Mike Adams said something on naturalnews that started carrying that same vibration of conspiracy energy. Now UKIP are up and ready for an election with Jupiter direct in Leo.
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This is good, I have a few friends, (two, three including that guy probably won't talk to again whom I just text) I have a few friends who are conspiracy theorists. And I am now in complete agreement with them. They who wouldn't turn towards David Wilcock and one who likes Alex Jones occasionally. There is now Unity.
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To me, the pay off is being able to reveal as true, the things that I have felt. When the cabal fail, as I said in the last post, sciences, extra- terrestrials, life in general. Truth will come out and we will be SAFE with the truth. Perhaps past lives too. I would liked to have fought for the truth in my life myself, but the odds are too stacked against me. And I did fight, I was just outmatched.
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So here we are. On a hopeful precipice of a dawn of a new civilisation. And ready for energies inside us to reveal and take over. Scary energies? No. Just our own feelings and truth.
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But for me, perhaps the fight is the way to go in the near future. I feel a little like 'Gandalf the white' rather than 'Gandalf the grey'. For those of you who don't know, Gandalf's character had a near death experience and came back with more magickal power but less personality. His mission was that important that he was sort of taken over by the positive. I feel a little like that, or perhaps I have always been that. It is unlikely I will have a girlfriend, love, any sensible career, or even sensible spiritual path. But once that bomb is detonated. Once the final moment comes when the cabal fall and this all unravels. With any luck the energy of my life will return to lift me up. Happiness will be widespread. Perhaps some service will be performed and honesty will prevail.
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Then we will let it all go.

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I love blogging. I don't have many viewers. Possibly 1 a day, sometimes more. :).
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And I just got an insight earlier to day as to who the regular 1 probably is.
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Or perhaps, just perhaps, life is more mysterious than to allow me to have such an answer.
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Regardless, something strange has happened to me. Or 'is' me. It is like I am stuck in a singular feeling.
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Something carried over from a time when I felt dominated. And that feeling of being dominated is a feeling that will not go away until I have fixed it so I am no longer dominated. This is negative polarity, where an entity gains in negative polarity by desiring to beat the person above him or her. Although on a positive planet I suspect the rules aren't quite the same. When you just want the truth revealed and allow the positive to do it's work, it may not be the same as desiring to actually kill the person who has oppressed you.
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There is something I want though. I would like the expansion of awareness that comes with the world being free from the more negative types running around, you know who I mean. Like if these new sciences came out and we were all aware that psychic skills were normal and started to become more psychic.
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I don't believe that will happen though. I think I'm going to ascend. I can't see any other choice. I still feel I am fifth density, although I have more love since recent developments. Anyway, I simply feel so bizarre and psychic all the time. And I do feel like there is nothing for me here. I don't feel like I can be other than this amount of psychic. There is no 'work' that needs doing even. I await the fall of the cabal but wisely, I don't hold my breath. I feel strongly that the energies of my life would be moved around in such an event but it's like the LoO said when it said that entities of fifth density aren't effected by otherselves energy fields to a great extent. I do feel somewhat immune from life and if fifth density is wisdom that sees the folly of compassion. There is not much more that we will be doing here once, and as, fourth density experience begins. I can imagine that sixth density types could stay for a while, donning their garb. But fifth have to leave.

Our troubles will not end tonight.

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Exciting times.
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Uranus Pluto are ramping up for their new square. In early April they are going to be just over my ascendant (The Sun and Uranus, not Pluto) as well as Jupiter going direct over my sun.
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Exciting times! This means it is all going to kick off again in a similar way as it did before. But this time something may be solved. We also have an election then and UKIP are looking very good. They unite people, rather than divide them like the rest of the parties. If you put it together. Uranus could mean the David Wilcock kind of stuff that is not going to go retrograde this time. This all relates to the election. We have the square, things coming out of my 12th house. Exciting times!

Service to others?

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I don't know exactly how to perform service to others in a way that isn't infact simply being enslaved and adapting my beliefs to fit the occasion but here goes:
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One thing that is useful in all these new age theories that I have been talking about is pyramids. And if any spiritual seekers here are so inclined, if you happen to have a pyramid nearby and/ or in the house, it's the kind of thing that can bust through any discomfort. Like that which you might have while meditating for instance.

Reprieve.

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If I am to understand the message the world is giving me correctly. It seems I am being given a little bit of a reprieve. There is not much that is wrong at the moment.

Truth telling.

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The thing that was putting me under like I was a second ago was that I felt someone was lying on a forum and I was unable to say so.
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But, just a second ago I mustered up the courage and did it, even though she is deeply feminine and I can't see anyone taking my side or thinking I'm less than a monster around the issue.
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Now comes the storm, now I have to defend myself for I have the first bit of polarity that is capable of starting to propel me upwards again. Declare the truth, and defend it, even if it is socially unacceptable.

Is there another way?

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I have to do something differently. I feel like my head is exploding. I feel pressure in my head from a positive place. And something else, an abstract negative feeling. I'm a bad guy now. It's like things that I produce and I know those things are lies. Some things are correct and some things are lies.
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I can't seem to do anything spiritual otherwise it makes the problem worse. And if I let my will power down at all from decisions I make, little things that I have acknowledged as negative and that have withdrawn from me if I challenged them. Come back and snipe in a quick attack.
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Sending love to these things only creates havoc. I used to, but have now realised that in the bad state I am in, the people I am sending it to are simply learning to hate me more when I send it. Doesn't mean I never will since I don't want my being to be extinguished.
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Music is a good thing. The song 'the priest' is good. Also, a kind of discipline. If people are turning up whenever I let my will power down. The thing is then to keep it up. And when things first started going wrong, I remember writing letters to people proclaiming my bad behaviours in some areas whom had acted extremely badly towards me also. But possibly it was OK to apologise I don't know.
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Anyway, if I keep my will power up, then these people will obviously eventually have to face me. Rather than being able to withdraw. This is I think the subconscious reason for my pattern and chosen vocation of putting these things into songs and then becoming some sort of international star. Then I can write a biography and then what... Do I want to dominate these people in any way... No. The truth, that's all I want to express. The truth, and have people's behaviour that has gotten to me be shown to the world.
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So, this post isn't going to make me happy is it? Experiencing a long period of service to self. Not real service to self but definitely not flowing service to others. A period in which there is a lot of 'mulling around' and then eventually able to tell the truth. Then I could easily die with the problems or they would then get sorted out. But every time people do the same thing. They simply withdraw. They do something crap to me then I never see them again.
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With a world this topsy- turvy. There are going to be these sorts of dregs in the system. Everyone is hurting in some way and so everyone hurts others. And now I'm hurting but I can't simply allow myself to be beaten and dominated. And misrepresented. Forgiveness involves actually interacting with the people involved.
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This post is all just guesswork. I'm trusting my channel. It seems to me everyday humanity suffers massively and there comes a point where I just can't see a reason for it. I understand free will and all that.

Spiritual information.

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I'm getting more and more angry everyday. I will not give up on my perspective. I feel that every time we are made to go back on something, accept someone elses point of view even though we suspect they may be lying for instance. Every time we lose a piece of ourselves.
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And there is no use pursuing spiritual information if we are disconnected from the heart. If our own true raw feelings are not represented. I hate people. I hate how they always seem to look at me for what suits them rather than what suits me. I don't want to let go of the anger against people that have put me down, that have treated me badly. I believe that I can eventually get them back... Somehow. I don't believe that I am being looked after.
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What I want is the end of tyranny. For I know that with the end of tyranny, something will shift.
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My third eye is disconnected from the rest of my body. I am now stuck in my head due to the efforts of all these people. The kind that would scream in horror if you had a foolproof lie detector and asked them questions.

The immediate future.

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For the immediate future, I am beaten when it comes to girls.
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I experience the same pattern again and again and again and it's making me miserable. There is very good chemistry between me and a girl, then I don't honour it somehow, like for instance, my song that I had written for open mic today has just deleted itself so I can't go to an open mic.
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Pretty immediately, the backlash is that the girl treats me badly in some way, or sleeps with someone or just something generally nasty.
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I can't take this anymore. I have to withdraw. It's enough to make me so unbelievably miserable how predictable this pattern is.  The insane anger at the times I have been put through this, how repetitive this is.
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I also am not going to compromise. I'm not going to experience a relationship with a girl I'm not really into, with one whom the 'magnet' is not present. I'd just rather suffer. I'll accept the suffering.

How am I?

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The amount of energy that goes into 'being me'. Lol.
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I will describe a short story to explain how I am. And how it has reflected the past.
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The original problem that caused me trouble was when me and a girl had very, very good chemistry and the girl withdrew and I was unable to withdraw.
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A few minutes ago I had another similar problem like that and I was able to withdraw quite completely. I was going to describe it but there doesn't seem to be any reason to.
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So from that perspective I feel safer. I am able now to do things that compromise on theoretically perfect ethics in order to protect myself in the very real material sense. Rather than practicing spirituality and relying on spiritual powers to protect me.
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Apart from that I keep myself in a constant state of anxiety so I don't fall into inactivity. Not really a conscious choice. Just a warning going off BEEP BEEP BEEP. I am starting to clothe myself in the reality of other people. Possibly because of the aforementioned root chakra work.
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I am eating well again. Not drinking alcohol. Constantly thinking about metaphysics. But determined to make things change. Not allowing myself to wallow at all in any sort of comfort.
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(later edit: It does feel SO SO good to withdraw. I truly never intend to see the girl again or anyone associated with her. It was a minor slight but this is what feels right.)

Astrology and Nessu.

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I need discipline in order to be able to relax at all. I just casually checked astrology a second ago and then realised it lit up my brain. I have to express it. But it is questionable as to whether it is in my best interests or not. To me.
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I have stayed away from astrology partly because of the 'madness' of high vibration.
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But, I have something to say. Nessu is a planet that gives us this feeling that things are profoundly unfair. Although it is said when Nessu ends something, it really ends it.
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It is currently at the very end of Aquarius. Now Aquarius is that fanatical desire to improve society that sometimes like I said is... Fanatical. This planet is the reflection of the fact that area seems very unfair at the moment since even those improving society seem to be getting beaten on. Also it has not seemed to have moved forward.
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But Nessu is soon to move onto Pisces. That means the feelings of unfairness will move away from societal improvements and protest being unfair and possibly move towards the whole psychic area being unfair. I don't know what this second area is but I imagine that if the David Wilcock stuff comes out and we are aware of our alien based heritage, there may be a feeling in the air of entities abusing power etc. Or imbalances between one person and another where one is more psychic than another. Or a kind of racism against extra terrestrial, or terrestrial extra-terrestrial forces and persons.

Sex deprivation in men.

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I have to say, this is not an article I ever expected to write. Astrology, the Illuminati, deep metaphoric things with deeply powerful forces (so called) maybe. But this. it's terrible.
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But, I'm not just talking about sex deprivation. But the fact that I have not been masturbating for over a month and the effect is starting to be really strong.
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When things started going wrong for me earlier I used to have the feelings that since I had done everything perfectly, since I was eating well, acting with compassion etc. There were no 'hooks' for negative forces to interfere if they wanted to.
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One of the first things to go on my 'fall down' was the masturbating. I felt as though something arrived and I started having sexual ideas/ fantasies that I do not know were based on truth or not (although true things have disguised themselves in that way before).
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But it is interesting. I have not masturbated in over a month and have not had sex. This is probably the first time I have done this successfully outside a spell at Kingston University. The effect is powerful. I feel this energy at the base of my spine moving up like some sort of kundalini. And there is some sort of animalisticness and stuckness of psychic energy. Like on some sort of etheric level there are too many doors open at the same time and the energies flowing in are getting stuck.
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I remember sometimes when I used to walk around and 'need' girls in a sort of sensitive way. I would look at the girl, she would know the score, and it would be awkward for both of us as I walked on. Now though it is not like that. I look at the girl and she looks back directly with a kind of knowing. I don't shrink on some sort of emotional level from that 'mini- confrontation.'
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It's a good feeling. And I am just learning to apply the energy so I can be more effective in my life. Sexual energies are the root chakra. So it is those that I am likely now to be constantly engaged with. But I wonder if with these energies the way they are I may have to put a little LESS energy into being psychic since the energies are naturally rising up my body without conscious effort.
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Another thing, often in the past when I did masturbate I felt something, not in my favour release. Like a battle had been lost and a non positive situation could now manifest without resistance. I remember when I was just about to get chucked out of co- op feeling that.
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I should add here, since I posted this on facebook and have hence become self conscious. That I'm not overly bothered if this dry streak is to come to an end or not. Infact, it is easy to become comfortable in complacency. I am seeking to move out of home and if that happens then perhaps I will start seeking company more. If I get a job I might meet someone etc. But I am not desperate at all, and even if I am I'm not desperate to sort the situation out.

UKIP and the fight for freedom

Not against the 'immigants' of course. But the fight for freedom against a certain type of financial problems.
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This kind of thinking is copied quite exactly really from a man named David Wilcock. I may add some astrology in here but mostly the conspiracy stuff will be his.
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OK. So where are we. To set the stage lets assume that right back into antiquity. Right back to the early centuries of our history there have been elite groups and manipulators among us. The 'divine right of kings'. Mostly simply a mythologised version of preferring power goes to the same bloodlines and stays that way.
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We have all heard of these ideas. The 'Illuminati.' The Bavarian Illuminati falling after someone carrying documents got struck by lightning. At precisely the right moment for those events. Some believe these power groups are still among us. And if there was any way to control the world it would be through currency.
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So, what's the problem with that in the late 1700's. Well, currency was backed by gold giving it real value which meant no one really controlled it. Or rather currency was gold. So, starting with the work of Adam Smith (who is featured on the English banknote), there were political directives and two world wars and suddenly all the gold has disappeared. We now have printing presses in the power of private companies who can print money, and then lend it at interest ensuring that there is always a lot of debt in the economy.
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This is the seat of their power.
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Enter Nigel Farage whom stated, excerpted from the book 'The synchronicity key' by David Wilcock (but then simply searched on the internet):
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http://www.ukipmeps.org/pages/print.php?id=671
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'Yes, I've read and thought a lot and there are certainly several American commentators pointing out that there may well be, in terms of gold reserves and their reality, a huge fraud going on.'
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There could not be a more 'to the point' statement that gets to the heart of the conspiracy area. And this from a 'soon-to-be-mainstream,' politician.
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Now onto just a little bit of astrology, and this racism thing. Jupiter is going retrograde at the moment through Leo. This makes me think that people are feeling that they are being assaulted on the personal level, a 'destructive' kind of assault. When it starts going direct we will start to get a new perspective on something in this area. It goes direct I believe in late March and in April we have the political TV debates. These I think will start to lift things and if anyone has been paying attention. David Cameron has been trying to political maneouver. According to some reports so he doesn't have to face Nigel Farage.
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2020 is the next election where UKIP could potentially win. 2020 is also the end of the Jupiter Saturn cycle (but that's complex and not to be outlined here) and several other astrological/ political change cycles.
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(I do of course admit UKIP may seem a little racist 'at the moment'.)
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This article is copyright :).

Lost polarity.

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The stage was set. It was time to go to Open mic night and I blew it.
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I'm starting to see a pattern though. A) Met a girl whom I neglected my intuitive 'magnet' towards, but we coincidentally started talking later and she was a musician and so I suggested we go to Open Mic night. Ai) Didn't follow that up immediately when I got home. B) Then on the day did want to go to open Mic night but since I had experienced the energy of her that was now gone, I didn't have the energy to do a good song, only to create a new 'lesser' song. Bi) Lost polarity again when I didn't go down with my new 'lesser' song.
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If I carry on experiencing losses of polarity like this I will make no gains. I.e. Nothing will happen. I need to get myself into a position where I am constantly in a good polarised position.
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Without the negative option there is no room to experience the positive option. That's why the game must continue.

Come on here to outlet.

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I've come on here just in general. Not to say anything important.
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The vultures are circling. I am becoming increasingly trapped. Little things are being de- tuned. Relationships with friends are becoming more difficult. Plans to escape my situation are becoming directly challenged. Polarity is being forcibly dropped as though a vampire came down to suck out the electronic 'charge', the thing that makes the polarity.
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There is no hope at this point, I mean, we adapt don't we. So I may be able to bring it back together. Go volunteering to get a reference (although I might not need to). Get a job, move out. Perhaps sing a few songs at open mic night. But in order to have a good life, I suppose what we need is a mission and a clear path to higher realms. And just the simple things. Confidence. Confidence to do basic things without feeling too low to do them.
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Life could be interesting if things unfolded. I suppose there is always free will. For even if there is something that feels 'not good' or whatever, there is the free will choice to experience the positive, service to others side of this all.