Actually a bit of a nothing update.

I had the feeling I should be writing but my subconscious did not reveal to me what the subject was going to be about. Having evaluated this blog post though I realise they can't all be bangers! 

Firstly, I am going to stop with the trend of writing out what I think has been happening for the human design transits of the last week. We did have the big new moon yesterday, and the Earth point is exactly conjunct Uranus today at 8.6.

It appears what I thought would happen on the larger scale was Trump pushing forward on this BBC lawsuit. But what in fact happened was that Trump has agreed a peace deal with Russia. Very Uranian. But not much to say on that. 

In my personal life, I am spending too much time arguing on twitter but I do not have anything else to do! It has become my place I go to for 'human contact' ESPECIALLY as I don't have access to a streaming service anymore. Those normal, slightly crappy TV shows, that don't always make a lot of sense, are good for simulating human company. 

In the UK, it is news how the job market is absolutely screwed. There is this big narrative about how younger people might get stuck on the benefit system. When I go to the jobcentre, the advisors there are completely overworked. I had a spate of unemployment at some time in 2012 and back then it was completely different. The entire atmosphere. The economy is quite seriously collapsing it seems like. 

I will probably not continue my series on the human design transits. I have my data points for this past week. The Pearl Lila Rose thing, the girl advertising her Ph.D and people getting upset, the Andrew Wilson having a dirty debate tactic used against him and the twitter Christians seemingly unanimously supporting it. But it is all so 'nothing'. It is... to use a Law of One phrase. To 'collect the details of the day.'

For me, the benefit is to continue getting insights. But, the only one that brings practical change is going to the gym which I have kept up with. 

The difficulty of following guidance.

I wonder, what the beneficial point of this blog is to others? Thinking of it, I realise that my self/ soul/ mind is always engaged in thinking about spiritual types of things. It is the energy that I have to use every day. I figure we all have three energies we have to use per day. Part of mine is that I have to re- experience the drive for meaning and to figure that out through intellectual means. Whether that be spirituality, philosophy, or something else. 

After the Law of One Carla Ruckert did a lot of channeling of Q'uo. I figure that is because once you have started down that road. Of seeing things in a Law of One paradigm. Then it becomes beneficial to have constant reminders. Like how, in church, a lot of the messages are basically repeated. Constant reminders is a big part of the spiritual journey and the life journey in general I suppose. 

Anyway, I wanted to mention tow ways that I have felt guided to a certain conclusion and then now figure I may have been wrong about that and the idea behind that. First I wanted to talk about a Law of One quote and what it might mean to me:

Questioner: In previous communications you have spoken of the mind/body/spirit complex totality. Would you please give us a definition of the mind/body/spirit complex totality?

Ra: I am Ra. There is a dimension in which time does not have sway. In this dimension, the mind/body/spirit in its eternal dance of the present may be seen in totality, and before the mind/body/spirit complex which then becomes a part of the social memory complex is willingly absorbed into the allness of the One Creator, the entity knows itself in its totality.

This mind/body/spirit complex totality functions as, shall we say, a resource for what you perhaps would call the Higher Self. The Higher Self, in turn, is a resource for examining the distillations of third-density experience and programming further experience. This is also true of densities four, five, and six with the mind/body/spirit complex totality coming into consciousness in the course of seventh density.

This quote then summarises something very fundamental about the Law of One world view. The higher self programs further experience. So we are living in a situation where the events in our lives are targetted to learning lessons of some description. As set by the higher self.  

Anyway, the two places where I have refined my ideas. One is that, recently I talked about coming off caffeine and alcohol. I have decided I have to stick with the alcohol. The reason is mostly due to communion and other related health issues. I have always kind of believed that Jesus said wine and so it is wine at Communion. I don't ascribe a lot of authority to the church in general (who do say grape juice is fine!)

Communion is not negotiable for me. I have had experiences of a very positive nature and very intense apparently connected with Communion. At the moment I am improving my health in a lot of ways because I am now able to go to the gym. There are MANY different factors to balance and they conflict. I need to lose weight. I have bone thinning. I have stomach issues. I have a huge tendency towards anxiety. Typically I am a very good sleeper even sleeping too much. But occasionally things go wrong and the sleep just stops. 

On two of these, the weight loss and anxiety, but primarily the weight loss. I need to stick with the alcohol. If I am not having wine I have grape juice at communion and I put on weight. It is a problem that I try and get around by just doing everything surrounding it right. But I put on a kilogram and I am not doing well with weight at the moment. (For instance, I have cheese to combat the bone thinning).

Also, I have slept three hours tonight and am completely wired which I know I will have to pay for. My medical condition has somewhat conditioned my body to be more easily made anxious. More than a decade of physiologically based extreme anxiety. It is this that is being improved with the gym.

The wine of course has no calories in it. Unlike the grape juice that is VERY sugary. I put on 1kg with my last communion. The communion without wine I feel a little less connected on as well. 

For the second thing. A previous blog I wrote called Conflicts in world views, applying the lessons learnt. I think the premise of this post is correct. But I think I have applied it wrongly.

It is interesting that in that post I summarised another idea that I eventually went back on. I summarised two wrong teachings there. As though highlighting that I was basically out of tune. 

This is one of those blogs where I carefully concealed where I had gotten the teaching. The tarot card idea at the beginning is actually an image from a dream. Not my amazing creativity! Those tarot cards are always my dream images. The dream itself had me using Stefans kind of thought process and not being able to grip Law of One concepts.

Pretty direct right? But now I think that was a metaphor. Previously, from my dreams I have determined that either Pearl Davis or Stefan Molyneux is causing an inner conflict for me. I did not know which one and have come off one or the other at various times trying to figure this out. 

The dream giving me exactly what the apparent issue was seems almost like wilfull deception. As though that deeper part of me is treating me like a genius. Because to have thought that was only a metaphor early on would have been to have thought like a genius I think. But now, over time. The guidance that staying off Stefan Molyneux is good has not borne out. Pearl on the other hand. I do not need to think about girls and their manipulations that much at the moment, they are not part of my life. There is also something wrong there, a bad feeling I get that is backed up by small things. I am not allowed in her chat for example because one of the moderators has a grudge against me. There are just a few things giving me a 'bad feeling' there. 

So, everything I said in that October 27th blog. The whole argument I laid out. Is not in fact correct. But a misinterpretation as I currently see it.  

Human Design Transits Part 3. Sun in gate 43, Earth in gate 23.

One of the women whose tweets I am going to probably excerpt here wanted to hear what insights my tweet had given her. So this blog is going to have to be a little more introductory with some of the concepts potentially. BUT, there is an extent to which that is not completely possible. I hope what I write basically makes sense but I can't be sure that it does. 

I am not going to go out of the way to inform any of the others tweets I excerpt on this. Primarily because I do not think I will have any impact on them. My blogs slowly climb over about a week and a half to maybe 10 viewers and that is simply not enough to have an impact. I am not even going to make the effort to hide their handles for this reason.  

There is no legal problem with this Twitter being a public site.  

I have set up this series to talk about the human design transits. I have used general twitter chat to capture what is going on. The first part I talked about Sun in the gate 44 and Earth in the gate 24. Discussing how the transit theoretically shows the real energy. The positive ideal energy. Then a lot of determined gossiping and group think produces opinions against that energy. The second part I talked mainly about the Sun in the gate 1 and transiting Uranus in the gate 8, because that is an electromagnetic channel. This one I am talking about the gates 43 and 23. Which define both the Ajna and the throat. The whole article is discussed with the Law of One and Human Design types of concepts considered to be truth. That is the baseline. 

The 43-23 then. 

Ra Uru Hu, the founder of the human design, had the 43-23:

That is, the upside down green triangle at the top. and the throat which is the square just below it. These are coloured in, their energy is stronger than the white centres. Because the 43-23 channel is defined. 

Ra Uru Hu was a complete genius. He was a genius in these metaphysical and spiritual matters. Which are not so easily understood since they are targets of narcissists and cult leaders to fake. I had not thought much about what the 43-23 really means in a person or in real life. It tends to be the gate of the individual. It is the channel where a kind of acceptance of different ways of being and different ways of thinking is really important. The 43-23 wants everyone to be accepted. Because it itself is weird and eccentric. It is assuring its own survival. 

Another example of the 43-23 is Dr James Fallon. Who talks about how some psychopaths, even though they have the brain of a psychopath. Are actually functional individuals who are not evil people by function of existing. So, accepting the difference.  

The Ajna is also where a lot of processing happens. People that don't have the Ajna just don't tend to think quite as much. Or they don't have their thinking as part of what they are here to do. Their 'life path' so to speak. Where Jordan Peterson and his 17-62, from the Ajna to the throat, the logical process, is endlessly talking about how do we define what's real or not. A little known celebrity with the 11-56 is Adam Elenbass, who processes the abstract information of astrology. 

But I had never really processed what the 43-23 really means. How it really expressed. As an individual channel descended from the 61-24. It is very much about a mystical or psychological process in my understanding. The reason I bring those two together is that a lot of ideas about karma and such, that we repeat the same experiences 'until the lesson is learned'. Have identical counterparts in psychotherapy. In my understanding the processes are both similar. Both into things like personal insight and dream interpretation.

So what we have then, is that this week, as it trundled on. Was going to tell me something about how the collective processes that kind of "mystical" type of thinking.

So on to the definition from Stefan Molyneux. Stefan talks a lot about this. His interpretation of mysticism is something of pure negativity. At least some of what I have heard has been that in my interpretation. I did not understand his critique of mysticism for a long time. But eventually I listened to things that explained it. 

As a small side plot, the world of Neo Platonism and Hellenistic Dualism is relevant here. Truly poisonous ideology that effected the early church and have formed their own kind of gravitas of, in my view, incorrect ideas and concepts. That have had a severe negative impact on almost all of modern society. Including, as I mentioned. Christianity. James Tabor mentions this in his recent interview with Aaron Abke on Mary. If you want more detail. 

Stefans interpretation is as follows: Evil, negativity. The process of the perversion of moral for evil ends is to create a moral rule and then create an exception for yourself. No one in society should steal, but I must steal. No one in society should initiate violence. But I must initiate violence. 

When objective reality and reasoning gets in the way. (Well... Why are you able to initiate violence?). To get around obvious, universal, moral rules. A 'higher realm' has to be created. You cannot initiate force on others or steal. But the king will do both of those things when he takes your taxes... Why? Because of the 'divine right of kings'. The mystical idea they are given their authority by God. 

This brings us to our first tweet example. This womans name is Philosophicat. She talks about philosophy in some manner and I think she interacted with Stefan somehow on twitter. Since Stefan is very grounded and atheist and this woman believes in things like astrology. My younger belief in the world, as someone that is very passionate about things like astrology. Was that she would be right in this argument. 

But no, this woman, while the 43-23 was transitting showed the EXACT thought process I mentioned. 

The discussion started off with her mentioning the conditions under which men should or should not express themselves. In the comments the idea was something like 'Men are allowed to express themselves but not to 'dump' their emotions. OK... well who decides that.

People took it, like they should take it. Like an annoying post that was not particularly coherent, pleasant or moral. This is what she came back with:

You don't have to read that. I did not even study most of it the point I am making is that she starts off the tweet with... 'People are misunderstanding my tweet. It is not open to interpretation, it is just correct.' Pretty much pure narcissism. Nobody, even if they have literally posted statistics themselves. Is just 'divinely correct'. Most of her tweets have carried on with this same kind of thinking. 'Men don't understand the divine feminine', or some such. 

This woman is exactly what Stefan says about mystics. She even states in her bio some variation of Hellenism. She wants to create a 'mystical zone' called 'divine feminine'. Which is immune from things like objective reality and criticism. I am pretty sure that is her entire output. I have seen men in her comments praising her for her mysterious 'wisdom' along these lines. Some people actually believe it.  

Nick, oh Nick. 

The Nick Fuentas drama was also happening at this time. 

I will just state my general opinion of Nick to add a bit of context, going back into my ideological views and general thoughts on the 'zeitgeist' of the day. 

Going from a kind of Ayn Rand perspective. Because it matches some of the relevant realities and I do not have time for nuance (no one will wish this blog any longer than it is!) The left, cancel culture, transgenderism, high taxes, their complete lack of any belief in freedom. This is a very serious opponent. I lack words to describe their negativity sometimes. These are the people that you are not allowed to say even a slightly 'risky' joke around. The politically correct people that police speech until we are all living in a kind of isolated hell. Where we have to remember weird things like asking for pronouns. 

The right, both the Trump right and the QAnon people. State, on paper. That they believe in the opposite of that. They believe in low or no taxes. Wealth. Everyone working. People being able to speak freely on issues like gender. The right, the Ayn Rands of the world. Believe in freedom. Believe that this is the path to virtue. The Q people actually believe that the left, the negative, are possibly aliens and have been mutilating children. That they are a satanic kind of evil. 

Nick, is just a kid really. To me. He is obviously 'something special' in that he has a platform when a lot of people don't. But this is a high IQ young man who thinks about things himself. I have seen Q women get upset and call him a "fed" because he says anti Trump things. 

How I see him, is, as I have said, incredibly fun, funny, articulate. He is very male in a way. Not really 'alpha' but very powerful and direct. He says things that upset people. That shouldn't (but do) upset men. These weird right wing Christian men, with no soul, that I'm sure would be better served as serfs living under the earth. 

And he just speaks what people are thinking. What a lot think is truth. Of the few clips of him I have seen. He says he finds women annoying and doesn't want to be with one. He talked down a fan that asked him to come to detroit joking at him that 'do you think that's gonna happen? hey, here is that podcaster you listen to, I'm in Detroit'. He says some very sweet and poignant things. And some things that are just so weird that I can't imagine how he comes to that conclusion. Like maybe Stalin had some good points. 

One of the things he often says is 'It's not that deep.' 

Men know, that when freedom is starting to be had. All sorts of strange things will crawl out from under the rocks. People that don't agree with your sensibilities. We are not a monotone like the left. We are groups of entrepeneurs and genius' that believe in freedom and freedom of speech. 

Nick shows that some of the women. They do not believe this. Not really. They perhaps like the abstract idea. But it is not in their DNA. They also perhaps fear the nebulous underworld of manosphere individuals that they believe exists. This post showed to me, that that female tendency towards word salad and mysticism is used in this way. To alleviate the anxiety of approaching freedom:

 

I thought this one was funny. It's so hyperbolic! What is a "parasocial trauma bond"? This is where I see the other side of the 43-23 show it's head. 

Also, what is Nick. He is an unusual individual  -> 43-23. So the negative side of this is not NOT accept the person.  

The point here, is that the guys listening to Nick are not... children. Women tend to believe everyone is an infant that they need to protect. Women are also, fairly vulnerable to propaganda and following cult like political parties. But men aren't. Men are just like... Ha ha, that was funny what Nick said. Then they go on with their day.

There are very few men who heard someone say something 'racist' and morphed into some sort of super psycho. Proven in part I think by the complete lack of white male, right wing violence the establishment so hoped existed to justify state tyranny.  

I just wanted to drop another tweet to show this general attitude. This tweet came in when the Sun was at 43.6. So just finishing the hexagram:

When I first saw this woman I thought she was quite sweet. As a Christian, even though I am far away now from a traditional Christian interpretation. Someone talking this passionately about Christ still warms my heart. 

I have, to my detriment I suppose. Got in debates in her threads where I have proven a perspective wrong with biblical quotes and a lot of explanation. This woman just ignores it and will tweet the same disproved thing the next day. 

She is not actually moral, she is sweet. There is a difference. It seems to me her goal is not virtue, but the solidifying of her own power and 'the female agenda' in the church. Like I said this blog doesn't need to be any longer so I will not explain further.  

So Nick said something that upset the church people on twitter. He said that Jesus was more about telling people the truth and he would rather be a rough around the edges truth teller, than a suave liar like most of the people criticising him. 

They did NOT like that. 

To me, this is a substantially correct point. Jesus spoke at length against the Pharisees. The Pharisses were corrupt spiritual leaders. He completely dressed them down. There was not much else that he did that upset the Romans it was probably this dressing down that got him killed. He was crucified for being impolite essentially. Polite society and the truth often conflict.

This woman has stated clearly here that she wants everyone to shut up and take her own personal view. To not offend her sensibilities. 

Here is another one of this kind of thinking:

 

And this one. This has to be my favourite. It is absolutely glorious in its hypocrisy:

Every single tweet this woman makes. Like the one I just quoted trying to nag people for acting 'impolitely'. Is claiming a position of authority. She claims authority through her belief that she has that authority through being 'saved' and can speak on these kinds of matters. 

You will not find a single tweet of mine that is telling others how to behave! 

I have also not once seen any posting about her service on there. 

Mainstream Christianity, especially how she practices it, is also pure mysticism from a Stefan Molyneux definition. Which Pauls gospel is. If you believe Jesus rose from the dead you are saved from all sins. But no one else is. Everyones works are 'filthy rags'. So you are literally better than someone that actually goes out and does good things in the world but hasn't been dunked in a pool of water! There exists a dimension where normal objective morals do not hold sway called being 'saved'. 

Conclusion:

Like I said, no one is going to say of this blog post that they wished it was longer than it is. What comes next is actually very interesting but is in process. The Sun moves to gate 14, the Earth to gate 8 and it will soon conjunct Uranus! It is all big. It is Venus that is in the position of gate 1. 

I have seen some interesting tweets and pushbacks against manosphere types of tweets since this. We are only at 14.2 and 8.2 but the entire thing is very powerful. The new moon on the 20th is exact Cazimi (conjunction) Mercury retrograde. Exact, on the new moon. Less than one degree. Opposing Uranus is obviously a big deal. 

I don't know how that is going to be expressed but I think it is very interesting.  

Human Design Transits Part 2. Sun in gate 1, Earth in Gate 2.

I have not written this article despite wanting to, and now I have just in the last few minutes had an insight that pulls it together, so I can write it. 

It would be great to have a visual, but unfortunately, I don't. To plot a human design chart includes two separate sets of calculations. The self and the body. When you are viewing transits you only need one type of calculation. If I were to plot a previous set of transits. I would need a single set of calculations. But the only way to make a chart is with two calculations.

In the last article I talked about the gate 44-24 and talked about how the twitter sphere. Talking about what these gates probably mean. What their energy is. And also talking about the not self themes that come up to cover that energy. To prevent the real realisation coming up and messing up peoples world view. A theme in each part of this is that it is women fundamentally driving the not self theme. A kind of gossipy madness of women that walk in lock step and say certain things. 

There is a difference in this post. Because the transit of the Sun in the gate 1 linked to Uranus in the gate 8. 

Uranus is a distinctly political energy. Even though, as I will talk about, it also has personal implications. It's main implication is of a huge scientific intelligence that includes among other things. Knowledge of the free market and philosophy. 

Uranus is retrograde. In a retrograde the energy connected to that planetary transit is questioned. So when the planet goes forward in shadow. You are blissfully unaware there is an issue and continue forward with both the positive energy and with said issue. When it goes back you take a breath and the issue is revealed. Ideally, you get rid of it then and you move forward again without the issue. There are all sorts of ways this can go wrong I think. Especially in people that are unaware. The issue can be consciously capitalised on in the retrograde and used for negative purposes. But, ideally, of course. It works exactly like that. 

This means that a kind of revolutionary energy was there, but then we are now in a place where there is a re- evaluation of whether everything is OK "within the movement", so to speak. 

This was a much harder energy than the previous week. The 44-24 was on two undefined centres. Once definition comes into the picture it is a stronger energy. Unless perhaps it hits your chart personally. 

But we have the Sun in gate 1- connecting with transiting Uranus in gate 8. Then the discussion became suddenly very heated and what it was about was... There was a guy who posted that women shouldn't vote, and this suddenly became a discussion. Which makes sense. Uranus evaluating what is going on within it's movement. I think that the fact that this theme came up when Uranus was being energised in an electro magnetic channel, shows a strong element to Uranus' current position. I think a lot of men are more serious about this than twitters jovial nature would make apparent. Or at the very least, the fact 80% young women voted Democrat in NYC's recent election, as an example; is a thing that many people are aware of and wish to address. 

Part 1 and Part 3 had more to say on what was going on. More substance. Perhaps because the not self element here is not so apparent. This individual electromagnetic channel expressed what it did and the not self element wasn't able to gain so much prominance. Unlike the 44-24 and coming 43-23.

I have another realisation about this though. A personal realisation. In my next article I am going to speak positively about Stefan Molyneux's definition of mysticism which comes from listening to his history of Philosophers series. It has come from hard intellectual work in my thinking. Philosophy and insights and stuff is HARD. Even though through a kind of Dunning Kruger I believe, most people seem to think of themselves as divinely moral without philosophies aid. Which cheapens the value of the discipline for, I would say, most, normal people. 

BUT, I have had trouble with another of his definitions that I have talked about previously on this blog. 

On September 21st and 23rd I wrote two blogs around the same kind of theme. This is what I was really saying, although I hid it in loads of indirect speak. I had had an issue with a family member and due to this, it was uncomfortable for me to feel like I 'loved' this person. Since, I cannot think of a 'virtue' this person has. They are leftist and all that. I was trying to break down my understanding of the situation with this definition as I have also heard it talked about by Stefan. 

His definition is that 'love is our involuntary response to virtue, if we are virtuous'. So as an example. If I were talking to someone and I asked something and they came out with something they heard on the BBC, or in a University feminist class. Then this energy essentially 'covers' the person, and when we are not able to 'see' the person. We cannot love that person. So what we often feel in it's place is our body manipulating us. An example from Stefan I gave and which he goes through with his callers is the guys that have strong simpy feelings over a girl and then can't name a virtue of hers. Because... They just wanted to play hide the pickle. Even though they were not aware of that aspect of their motivation. 

The way we actually do love then according to this is if people have real emotions. What they really feel, not information out of a text book. Then we can love that thing that is that person. With our also real self. 

It is a very interesting definition. It is powerful information that has an 'outer planet' quality. Uranian things, often are linked with Neptunian and Plutonian as well. They often have an 'alien' quality to them. So, Human Design itself is one example. The whole thing looks like it was given to us by literal aliens and the entire thing speaks in a kind of language that is completely different to how most people process reality. Music might be another one. It is kind of Uranian. Mostly. It's technical aspect. 

But to give love a definition like this. One that changes reality itself in small ways. When the normal world would just say if you feel it, it is correct. You love that person. But using the definition it shifts you to the realisation it's not really love. It does have that Uranian quality. 

But, as I said Uranus is going retrograde and gate 8 Uranus is HUGE for me! But, this piece of insight from Stefan has not seemed to take. Perhaps that young family member doesn't seem to have any particular virtues, and I believed I had incorrectly believed the love idea for a while. But no, for whatever reason the irrational feeling has returned. I can't label it anything else.

Even though I fully intend to avoid the person as she is toxic as hell. 

This kind of thing might be relevant to previous posts I have written that talk about two world colliding (Conflicts in World Views, applying lessons learned, October 27th). The Law of One and Stefan Molyneux. To the point that that emotion, that 'love' might be incorrect. The Law of One does offer some tools. That of balancing. As summarised in 'Reflections on love and balancing'. Or perhaps the entropy meditation as I have talked about in relation to session 46.9 and 104.2.

Or, it's just a thing I have to deal with. I have positive feelings for her, and by all accounts in relation to objective reality. She has nothing but negative feelings for me and she is a nag. It's just something I have to deal with.  

Law of One Session 34 reflection. Television.

A reflection on a Law of One quote. 

Questioner: I thought that that was correct, but I wasn’t sure. Can you give me the same type of information that we have been getting here with respect to the unmanifested self interacting between self and gadgets, toys, etc.— inventions?

Ra: I am Ra. In this particular instance we again concentrate for the most part in the orange and in the yellow energy centers. In a negative sense many of the gadgets among your peoples, that is what you call your communication devices and other distractions such as the less competitive games, may be seen to have the distortion of keeping the mind/body/spirit complex unactivated so that yellow- and orange-ray activity is much weakened thus carefully decreasing the possibility of eventual green-ray activation.

Others of your gadgets may be seen to be tools whereby the entity explores the capabilities of its physical or mental complexes and in some few cases, the spiritual complex, thus activating the orange ray in what you call your team sports and in other gadgets such as your modes of transport. These may be seen to be ways of investigating the feelings of power; more especially, power over others or a group power over another group of other-selves.

This is a scary prospect. Especially for someone that spends a lot of their time either on twitter, youtube, or watching some other form of entertainment. I have no friends and no money, partly because I am not working. 

It is annoying. The world for me is changing with having access to the gym now. But I am having to adapt myself to quite a situation of discomfort. Or lack of comfort might be another way to put it. I don't have a streaming service I go on. I'm wondering if boycotting television types of things. Like series of shows. Might improve my tendency to do the things I really want to do. Such as play music. 

It starts to feel upsetting and urgent sometimes. We only have this one life and even if it turns out that life is extended or something in the future. It still feels like time is so precious. Wasting it on TV, even though that is what I have been doing, feels so "bad". Since stopping alcohol and chocolate as well. I have not been able to enjoy said TV nearly so much. I used to be fine watching a few episodes of something with a beer or bar of chocolate. But without that I find it harder to get over the inconsistencies in the show. Parts that are unrealistic and such. Even when this is seemingly a more subconscious realisation. 

Obviously, if I had a job and needed to chill after that job it might be different. 

At the moment, I am off alcohol and caffeine. I intend to be off the permanently. I do think of them so I consider it discipline to stay off them. I am doing the gym, which might have a reflection on how much a masturbate. I seem to go longer and fantasize less when my energy is concerned with the gym. But also, coming off watching television even. All this might add up to real world change for me but also, periods of discomfort. It is usually hard to relax without being able to watch a series.  

Anyway, I'll see how it goes!  

Personal breakthrough: The power of the gym.

Due to health problems. This is one of the first times in a long while I have been able to reliably go to the gym. For a while I had stomach problems that stopped me going. At various times various other problems. But at the moment. I can usually get to the gym, do a session, and there is nothing stopping me. 

The power of the gym on my mental health has just been staggering. So much so that I am writing a blog only concerned with this. After a gym session I am often able to access emotions that I did not know I felt. As I have written about before. I am able to access things that I perceived that were perhaps a 'survival threat'. But are revealed with muscle release and testosterone increase. 

But I am thinking it is more than that now. Thinking it is more than simple things I didn't acknowledge through a subconscious fear. Ra Uru Hu once talked about the Projector in Human Design. He said that the Projector experiences blame and this blame gets layered. It would make sense to me that each type experiences 'layering' of the not self emotion, not just Projectors. Because every type has a fundamental not self emotion created by their true self type being mismanaged. When things go wrong, the other side of the positive energy is a negative energy. So that would have happened constantly and from very early on. Meaning it always gets layered. 

This is the kind of insights I have been getting. Things revealed that I got incredibly angry about. But which haven't been thought about for a long time. Some of these insights are very relevant to how the world works like. My last blog about 3i/Atlas ideally being alien contact was kind of answered. I can see a little bit more. I have more insight into unpleasant behaviours that people have that deserve the kind of situation we are in now. Not have it all sorted out. This is only possible with the rage of remembering unpleasant behaviours against me in the past. It is good, like the negative feeling serves a positive function of insight!

I am very tired though, even as I write this. This insight has come from a harder gym session than previously since I was annoyed (angry!) that I had missed one, due to unavoidable health issue.

The positive effects though, I feel it would be hard to even spell them all out here. But one of the insights I have had was just how messed up I was previously in my life. This makes a big impact on the world around me. On how I process my past.

I am reading, and really enjoying, the Lord of the Rings. I previously read this when I was not particularly well. When I read it previously, I stopped because it was just incredibly dark. I got to the point where Frodo is walking through the second forest with the Elves and I just felt it was bad.

Now I read it though, and it is not even slightly dark! The reason it is not dark is that there is so much love in the set up. There is so much love with the hobbits and the relationship of the four friends. I am really in a positive place with this book and I think it is where Tolkien shines. He has set up an incredibly loving thing for us to invest in before he introduces the danger. A lot of sci fi doesn't really do that. They just lightly introduce the characters then get on with the plot. But... Something needs to be threatened! Courage needs to be shown. 

The difference in my memory from now to when I previously read it is so stark that I realise that I was more unwell mentally than I ever realised. This brings in a lot of additional and powerfully relevant insights. I cannot remember hardly a single thing that I am now reading. Not one thing. The memories I do have are inaccurate of this book. 

Anyway, that's it for the moment. I believe that doing the gym regularly from now on. If I am able to. If there is no more problem. Will be a hugely positive thing in my life and it is something that I really want.  

The petition for 3i/ Atlas to be the real deal.

Many people in the new age say things like. "We are the ones we have been waiting for" and "No one is going to save us". I want to push back on this. In this blog I am going to put a theoretical model forward that the actually correct thing to happen in this society from this point forward is to have some sort of mass alien event or something. To do this, I will summarise how I think the world really is, what is really going on at the moment politically. During this I will go full Q-tard. About 1/4th David Wilcock. 

Firstly, my paradigm is... in truth kind of descended from my supernatural experiences as a child. But in a more explainable way, it is based very strongly on the Law of One. 

There are some beliefs that come from the Law of One. From Session 8 we are told that our society has at its disposal. All the means to heal each and every situation that afflicts us. Poverty, illness (all illness) and hunger. We also have as a basis that there are very powerful positive and negative extra terrestrials that interact with us. We also have that there is a path of 'satanism'. A legitimate spiritual path in that direction. Of pure evil basically. That some on this earth practice. 

There are more things like this talked about. From the real world I have also learned a few things. Some thing about the negative. That all the weird nasty torturous things to children and stuff that people affiliated with Q say that negative groups are doing. That is real. But also, there is an entirely other weirder layer. 

One place where this shows is that every single celebrity. Like, all of them. Every single one. Keanu Reeves, Ed Norton, Brad Pitt, Russell Crowe, Jennifers of various descriptions. Lawrence, Aniston Garner, Love- Hewitt. Just all celebrities... Are transgender. Bob Dylan, Bill Gates, Alexandra Occasio Cortez, Hillary Clinton. 

This took, even me, even having held most of these beliefs since being a teenager. A long time to accept. There was a woman called Michelle XYZ who talked about this on youtube. I used to watch a video every day, she had about 200 or more. I think I watched every single one. Because I just couldn't convince myself, on the deeper level, it was true. It is... literally. So bizarre. 

This from someone comfortable with these beliefs. That is the main thrust of my argument. I will need to explain more though. 

According to Q, according to the hints they drop, and according to many in that communities understanding. We are kind of watching a bit of a 'show' of sorts. Behind the scenes, deep behind the scenes. The positive military has won out against the negative groups and dismissed a large amount of the worst people. They are now setting up a convincing story for the main population. That remains permanently asleep to these things.

While I imagine there are pockets of real bad guys still. They are middle management. Not the top truly evil types. They might not know this and the truly evil ones like to be super mysterious about giving orders in my understanding. So the ruse is pretty easy. 

But anyway, all the events we see are things happening to slowly show the population the mildest of what has been really going on. Since, I'm sure a lot weirder and unpleasant stuff has happened than transexual celebrities. There is a lot that would even shock me I imagine. 

So that's where we are now. We are in a place where we need to transition from a situation where pretty much nothing is really understood by the main population. To a society where the basics are all understood. Perhaps not the true depth of malevolence. But things such as there are extra terrestrial races. There is a negative path.

Part of what has been going on since the lockdowns might have been to wake people up as much as they can be. But I don't know that that is still happening. Out of the normie population. Boomers that watch the BBC every day as an example. Young women at University. The most brainwashed. There is NO understanding of this information. No understanding of this world view. Non, zilch, nada. 

The numbers of people awake to this at all is very low comparatively I think. Even of those that are awake, a lot of them not massively so.  

I imagine the way the shift might go is simply free market innovation slowly changing things. Such as Elons Optimus robots improving society. A literal surgeon in every house. That will also clean your floor. 

But that amount of stuff that needs to be done to awaken people to these realities might take... DECADES. Which is why if 3i/ Atlas were the real deal. We could jumpstart that process. Give the normies a bit of a shock with a first contact of aliens. And use that opportunity to jumpstart the whole process. Say they were benevolent aliens and could give people positive experiences. So the shock would not be too bad. Then just allow this whole paradigm to unfold quickly, but with the knowledge that there are 'benevolent' aliens helping us! 

I don't feel that some of the suffering happening at the moment. Poverty, increased poverty due to inflation and everything being dysfunctional. Bad health services. Jobs being very confused. No jobs. Massive crime. I don't know that this has a function. Of course I wouldn't. But it would seem a positive thing to me to sort these situations out in society and assume that whatever spiritual lessons those 'catalyst' were teaching. That people have had enough of it now and if they were going to change, they would have done so already.  

Reflections on lust and balancing.

In a way, I realise I am a kind of fundamentalist. Just not for mainstream Christianity. But for the Law of One. 

I don't really know what 'fundamentalist' means in this instance. But, a lot of the time, reading the Law of One, re- reading the Law of One. Seems to answer a question that I have at the time. Like, Christians say that all the answers are in this book, and hold up the bible. I feel that same way about the Law of One. 

So here's what I am thinking. There are two things. The second, the Law of One quote from session 34, of which I fully intended to write here. The first, the rest of the post, is something that has been turning over in my head from different perspectives for a long time.  

I will be honest about this even though any rational calculation would warn against it. This blog will be about handling feelings as a guy of that kind of lust for women. But moreso, more importantly, a kind of feeling that they are an aristocratic, untouchable, class. 

Two blogs ago I talked about this and I posted on that blog an image from twitter of a girl with her breasts out as an example. 

I have seen girls like that before and stopped thinking about them. It was not a compulsion for me to carry on thinking about her. But when I meditated, she did come up, and I wanted to in some way handle the situation and feelings with metaphysical tools. I wanted to finish with the energy rather than rehash it in my mind or suppress it. 

First thing I tried was seeing her 'as the One Infinite Creator'. I do this with everyone I have trouble with. This did not do much in terms of insight, but I did feel like it switched me on. Intuitively I felt more connected. 

But then I did the perfect thing for the 'balancing' of such emotions. As talked about by the Law of One (session 5!). As I have mentioned with other situations in my life. Doing a contemplation that involves two sides of an emotion. The emotion and its opposite. 

Which was VERY insightful. Before when I did it it was in relation to someone I know in real life. A family member. This was completely different emotions though, because it is someone I don't know at all. The first thing I did was incredibly idealise and 'love' this woman. The second thing I did, was the opposite of that emotion. It was to, as best I could, demonise the girl as 'trash' in my mind. To escalate the opposite emotion. 

I found that the results of this exercise was counter intuitive. The escalation of the loving emotions lead to a kind of manipulative simpiness. I realised the 'love' was not unconditional. It kind of expected something in return. It is a shame I can't remember that in greater detail. 

The escalation of the anger and condescension lead to an examination of the girls likely behaviours. "She probably has a hundred men in her DM's" and all sorts of thoughts about her carnal side, like, the carnality that she expresses from herself, not me towards her. Based on other similar girls I have actually talked to. But this then lead to an easy going and accepting... "Of course she doesn't want to talk to me and would be suspicious of me!" 

I would say that is a win. There is a little more contemplation on this, but now I am not interested in her. The emotion/ fascination seems to have been genuinely released. I think the exercise is effective.

What was interesting, and what leads in a far darker direction is that I did actually comment on her page. I looked for something interesting I could say and found a comment on music, what chords are interesting, and suggested an unusual and nice sounding chord that I have liked using. Then I liked one other of her tweets. 

She said something king of condescending and deleted it. Then she pinned the tweet I liked to the top of her twitter (and did not respond when I went back and commented on that one. I deleted them both after that). But interestingly, after the tweet response to her chords question, I got a strong, left ear ringing. Which from the Law of One tends to be a signal from the negative (session 44 or 45!). I have only experienced it three times in the left ear, in a really strong way, this is one of them, and each time from a woman. I have never experienced it from a man. I have only experienced the right ear in a really strong way, like sound completely hollows out and just a loud ringing. With a book I picked up. I have experienced low intensity of the same thing, both ears, many many more times, but those are harder to remember. 

Going around town today, getting on with my normal stuff. I do not think that women in general are more negatively polarised than men. I went in a shop today and two young girls were polite. Just polite, that's all I'm looking for. Not sheet ripping sex. In person though, I am kind of dorky and harmless, and I look quite good facially. Perhaps as a semi anonymous twitter poster it is not the same. 

I have wondered a little recently, on a global level, at the polarity of women in general. There are so many workplaces I have gone into where the men have been nice and sympathetic, and the women have been nothing but nasty. Gossiping. Socially excluding etc. It has got to the point where assuming positive polarity on their behalfs is less wise in general to my perception.  

But now, to the Law of One quote that actually 'squares all the circles' so to speak. It's the kind of thing you can read but only when you re- read the entire book and it hits the right note does it land:

Questioner: Thank you. Can you give me examples of catalytic action to produce learning under each of the following headings from the last session we had… Can you give me an example of the self unmanifested producing learning catalyst?

Ra: I am Ra. We observed your interest in the catalyst of pain. This experience is most common among your entities. The pain may be of the physical complex. More often it is of the mental and emotional complex. In some few cases the pain is spiritual in complex-nature. This creates a potential for learning. The lessons to be learned vary. Almost always these lessons include patience, tolerance, and the ability for the light touch.

Very often the catalyst for emotional pain, whether it be the death of the physical complex of one other-self which is loved or some other seeming loss, will simply result in the opposite, in a bitterness, an impatience, a souring. This is catalyst which has gone awry. In these cases, then, there will be additional catalyst provided to offer the unmanifested self further opportunities for discovering the self as all-sufficient Creator containing all that there is and full of joy.

This is a hard line to hold but it sets the direction. It answers a question that I have had for a while about what to do with those emotions and feelings. The lack of female company/ young women/ potential partners in general, and sex as a part of that. Is causing an emotional pain.

But this is the direction. To discover the self as all sufficient Creator containing all that there is and full of joy. 

As I have said before, thinking through what that actually means, that we are all the Creator. Is not something I believe I can easily explain. But perhaps, if I were to write an erotic story with women in it, I am able to quite well approximate that female sweet energy. When I have read it back, I have been surprised. I can imagine myself as a young woman. 

We are all things. So I am the both the nicest and most vicious person. Ruthless and sensitive. Strong and weak. Contain all those polarities. Every women I know, no matter how prim and proper, also has both those polarities.  

The point is though that the direction is to be legitimately happy in my life without female company of that kind. To be self sufficient and full of joy. This brings huge insight and a potential solution to the problem.   

General human design transit thoughts. Part 1.

So, me noticing general trends in the recent transits, and some of my thoughts behind this. This post is very twitter heavy I realise. 

About two weeks ago. Sun in gate 44, Earth in gate 24. 

Ah, I thought if I left this too long I might forget details and I have. So I simply scrolled back to find it. Joel Webbon, I don't know who that is. Made a comment that when he hears women talking to him in a nagging way. He will just comment the kind of pie he wants them to cook. So "Apple". 

This is following on from the Allie Beth Stuckey discussion of a bit earlier. But anyway, following on from that were several other things on this theme and responding to this theme. Lana Rhodes commenting that she wants to get the government to delete previous of her work in 'explicit imagery'. Because government power exists to serve female whims obviously. Also, there was something going around the internet about a woman whose boyfriend wanted her to get an abortion and she refused so he killed her. 

This, an discussions that followed on in response to it. Like a Rollo post. All brought up the same theme that aligns with the 44-24. I think that this is where the theme of 'forgiveness without contrition' sits. Or forgiveness in general. 

There are two sides of the discussion. One is the gate 44, which is a splenic gate. This talks about our ancestral memory. From this gate, you never forgive anything because you evaluate things carefully based upon whether they keep you safe, and in relation to social groupings. Venus just crossed my natal unconscious Pluto in gate 44. Giving me a bit of a push on that part of my energy! This red pill MGTOW stuff is right there in my chart! You don't forgive someone if you are worried they might kill you if you don't defend yourself.

Then on the other side of that is the gate 24. Which receives the information from the gate 61. It is called the returning. It is the psychological and mystical process. The idea of repeating cycles. When people say they repeat cycles for karmic reasons or repeat relationship problems for psychological reasons. 

In this gate is where we can take down those repetitive issues within ourselves and this is the line that can often reframe previous struggles as coming from our own behaviours. This is one of the only lines where there is some legitimacy to forgiveness without contrition. Or at least, letting go of the ideas surrounding whatever issue.

As an example, an insight might be that you never really love the girl you were obsessed with. But you lusted after her. Like, you might be trying to name a virtue of hers but it just comes down to sex. Then if you think that perhaps she knew this on some level, you don't feel so angry that it all went south. 

She is still morally responsible for her behaviour and you are not necessarily safe (gate 44) for an open stated forgiveness. But this gate 24 insight does start to chip away, especially at the bits of the problem that weren't actually to do with the other person.

But what does this have to do with all those tweets about women and how Christianity relates to that?

I believe, my interpretation there, from the theory. Is pretty much the truth. Outward statements of forgiveness are not usually necessary but the entire thing happens between those two polls. Safety (44), and personal insight (24). 

What we actually experienced though, was not any real insight into that. But the conditioning that exists in these places. Which was people aggressively trying to push the Paulian doctrine of salvation through faith.  

There was also the gates 2 and 1, and then the gates 43-23 that I will go through in another blog. 

The coming times. Q thoughts.

Second blog in one day. It is a bit of a weird day today. As stated with crazy sleep pattern and other things going on. 

Previously, in a blog before my last one. I mentioned that something that might be of interest is the idea that all this Q stuff might actually happen. Meaning A) The arrest of some deep state perpetrators B) The revealing of a universe a lot of people have not previously suspected. Aliens, technology etc. C) A situation where we ourselves live in this new reality. (Increased health, lifespan, global wealth etc.)

It was only a paragraph but I put forward some queries as to how this will go down. To me the question is not "if" this will happen. But "when". And also, what form it will take? Will it all happen at once or in stages over decades? 

But, what of the grudges we hold then? What of all the people we have not gotten on with, as truth seekers perhaps that were ostracised by others as an example? Is it going to be that the new reality will be so alien that all the grudges will belong to an old world. The people that have got on their left wing, pro vax soapbox, the issue is just forgotten about because it has no references in this new world?

This is the attitude that a lot of the Q people take. Q has said direction that the normies will need the care of the truth tellers to process having been lied to all this time. Indicating a kind of "forgiveness of past sins", policy? 

The other option is that of course those issues will not be forgiven but that grudges should be closely held. Just spitballing arguments on this side quickly. Firstly, the left wing lunatics never listened to the truth tellers anyway. They love their TV and their utter obedience to authority. So surely the TV will tell them the new reality? Another would be that it assumes a great deal that these brainwashed people will show some sort of humility in this situation. But people don't admit when they are wrong easily. They might try and weasel out of admitting what their previous perspectives were, rewriting history; and it might be kinder to bring them a bit of consequence so that they are somewhat accountable for their behaviour.

In the grand scheme of things this might be the lesson they are learning. To utterly commit to something in behaviour, and admit they are wrong. Because a lot of them don't do that. 

My thoughts on this though are simply to suggest a reframe.

Firstly. One of the things that has often seemed obvious to me. Is that if astrology is real. Then the astrological transits relate to both events on the global stage. Also events in our personal life. That there is a kind of synergy between the two. 

At the moment, Mercury has just gone retrograde and conjunct Mars. Things have happened in my personal life. But they are also happening on the world stage with Mercury (media) and Mars (masculine aggression). Being this Trump and the BBC argument. 

As well as that, even when the link to transits isn't so clean this might still be the case. The things happening globally are reflected in our lives. Pretty directly sometimes I think. In the lockdown for instance. There were broadly pro vax and anti vax people. Globally these were represented by two camps roughly stated. The globalist media being pro vax. The conspiracy theorists and other independent thinkers being anti vax. It reflected on the world stage. Those same dynamics precisely replicated in peoples personal lives. 

The way I see it is that the left, on a global level, but also on the personal although I am not seeing that. Nevertheless, the left is suffering consequences in a way that simply hasn't been the case previously. Trump is bringing in the National Guard and arresting anti fa. Deporting migrants. The BBC, due to a very feminine commitment to error, will probably be sued for $1 billion. With possibly a link to larger election interference issues from the UK. Those involved in the Russia Gate issue are getting Grand Jury Subpoenas. 

The era of BLM being able to ransack and burn down an entire town and escaping any accountability due to some nebulous reference to 'the moral highground', are over. While left wing people in real life, there should be some pressure starting to form on them as well. This strange belief that the left have that if they do things it is not as serious as when their opponent does. 

Stefan Molyneux has mentioned in passing that this might be a real moral issue for some people. Because their believed claim to virtue through leftism. That of being the underdog and victim. Will be evaporated, and they might realise that they were never virtuous! Or at least a large part of their lives that they outsourced to others to do their thinking and virtue for them, was not in fact that. 

This is, I think, the answer to the dichotomy I brought up earlier. When I casually imagine an ideal future. Like I do sometimes in that between waking and sleeping state as I wake up and my conscious mind is not yet engaged enough to quash this line of thinking. I imagine people around me having done well. People that were rabid leftists living in mansions and being basically unchanged from their current personality. 

But that, is ridiculous. It is a narcissistic kind of thought, that assumes a way that the world works that is simply not the case. It would be a godlike power to ignore reality as much as to create that situation. The incredible grandiose warmth of a lot of those people. Will likely be punctured. They will be different people. 

There is only so much shock that people can absorb before it effects them. Changes their personality. If it comes out the vax was quite dangerous. If the UK left wing government and BBC meets such legal pressure from the Americans that it ceases to exist. Opposing the previous pattern in life that the left is always dominant in a tribal sense. If the revealing of aliens reveals facts that are utterly terrifying. The people we once knew, the ones that had no truth telling ahead of time to buffer them. They will be different people. 

Which is an utterly unpredictable set of conditions. Which is why the question of how these things will be handled in the future cannot be answered at the moment.  

Alcohol. Lustful thoughts.

So I need to correct something I said yesterday. I said that I had come off caffeine but was fine with alcohol. No that's stupid. Especially with weight loss. I am not the kind of person that can casually engage with something. In my head, if there is a rule then it is a rule. Alcohol is in the on position or in the off position. I thought that I should be having wine on Sundays with a kind of make shift communion I do (Since the bible and Jesus said wine, and I started to get tired of grape juice). So if I'm having wine, then all other alcohol is fine. 

This, is not correct, I have decided. I have had four beers and my sleep pattern is a bit messed up at the moment. As in, I stayed up all night. But on balance I have to stop the beer and the wine. I have to just stop alcohol, so will be fully doing session 32.1 now, or at least the bit about the not having harsh chemicals. The appreciation bit following isn't massively relevant at the moment. 

This last section of having drunk is ending on a sour note, It did not get me drunk at all. I wasn't aware that it had any effect consciously. But my temper is just a bit frayed in a bad way. I realise, as my health increases, I will gravitate to handling things of more pressure, and my emotions will tend to become more coherent with clarity. Not having alcohol massively reduces the possibility that I will be unbalanced like I am at the moment, with the chemical also generally disturbing my balance. 

Anyway, this is another thing that has struck me. Another thing that has rolled into the recent self improvement thoughts I have been expressing:

This girl has become more well known by the algorithm for posting that she voted for the Muslim Democrat candidate in New York. After statistics based on that, how many young women voted Democrat in that election. We had, what I think, was an expression from Sun in gate 1 and Uranus in gate 8. That was, that there was suddenly a discussion on twitter about whether women should (be allowed to) vote. 

I am getting to a point here. 

About a week ago, the algorithm, for some reason, decided to show me the most stupid female posts on X that I have ever seen. I started bookmarking them and they were absolute poison. Feminist leaning. This casual bookmarking activity became many. Far more than I would have been able to use for a blog I was creating in my head. 

Anyway, I didn't write that blog. The time had passed for when I was likely to write it. So when I went through my bookmarks I deleted them all. But just now I found a tweet. It wasn't a truly stupid one. But it was one that I think demonstrates a part of the problem:

The problem here is that this is a nothing comment. What impact on any actual reality does it make that this woman thinks anyone should behave in any precise way. Let alone, being able to order what would be basically the entirety of creation. 

Are there any practical barriers to this womans stated ideal agenda? Are there people living in poverty? Or those that have to dampen their ideals in order to find a viable partner and not waste their time shooting out of their league?

There are a lot of very interesting tweets from women. I just logged on to X now and they were coincidentally fire. But, there are times when the same brain numbing opinions are expressed over and over again. When women argue against some red pill points. It doesn't matter how many times the womens simplistic viewpoints are disproved. They just repeat them without changing anything. 

What I am coming to, the emotional nub of the situation for me is this. The attractive nature of the first pic was highlighted for a reason. It feels to me, and it is, I think, practically. That a woman like that, and from the way a lot of women have treated me. Seemingly most women of that kind of age and attractiveness (going right back to when I was about that age). Have such a higher status than me that they might as well be royalty. 

It's just something to think about. Something to consider. I do not have a job at the moment and I have not progressed in a career as I should have as a guy my age, due to health reasons. Even if I was to socialise with women and possibly cold approach. When the girl asks something like 'what do you do?' I can already feel myself sink inwardly.  If I was to approach a girl that was drastically less attractive than that for whatever reason she was less attractive, including age. She would still expect me to have that kind of thing together. Often older women have this idea they are going to meet the perfect provider like guy, like happens in the movies. 

It is just something to generally consider. But also something I have been realising. Is that I never quite know what to do with that 'desire' within myself. Since it does not have an outlet in the world. I suppose, I am going to the gym, and I hope to have the kind of body that provides women with the excitement that a guy gets from looking at the photo above. 

One of the avenues of thought I have considered in the past, is that if I get an image like that. I bookmark it or save it and return to it. To appreciate the beauty and perhaps to create fictional stories of an erotic nature. To stimulate imagination about who the woman 'might' be ideally!

But, I think, it is way more positive to not do so. To delete all those bookmarks. The ultimate truth for a guy on one of these kinds of places like X. Is that you feel positively towards her. But she does not feel positively towards you. Because she has a billion other men telling her all that. I'm not even telling her all that. 

It is part of the issue that creates this feel of women like that, and in general, as inaccessible, and with a 'royalty' like aura. 

The ultimate truth it appears to me, of what to do in a positively polarised sense, with those kind of desires and thoughts. Is just to ignore them. OK, there is a hot girl. Scroll past. Because the hot girl, doesn't acknowledge my existence. She doesn't care that I exist. And that instinct I am getting to engage with her is not suited to the modern internet age.  

Another odds and ends post.

I don't know if the reader has been following some things I have generally discussed on here. Personal updates. But at the moment, it is all coming together well for me here. Thus I wanted to do an odds and ends post. Talk about things I generally think are interesting and would want to talk about, but since I am in a bit of a "transition" place in my life at the moment, have not put in the full energy to make a post about said subject separately. 

I said that I had a medical issue, an ongoing medical issue, that was making my life difficult and that I was trying to treat with diet. Namely, I was trying to treat myself with chocolate/ caffeine, that stimulated my digestive system. I was hoping that improving my diet in concert with this was going to work. 

HOWEVER, since my eye issue, I have discovered that using the medication for this stomach issue is far better. Due in part to overwhelm. Once I stopped having the chocolate, I realised the chocolate was also causing the problem. Meaning, coming off chocolate completely has solved said problem. My digestion is now OK without the addition of caffeine. 

This means, without this digestion problem, and with the added tool of medication if I need it. I can go to the gym. Oh my god I love the gym, and health problems that I have had in this life has often stopped me going. But it is not stopping me going anymore. 

With that addition. I can also change my diet. Since I have a bit of hope I can lose weight. Before I go to any complex formulas like calorie counting I am doing the basics. Cut out cakes and crisps, decaf, gluten free oatmilk lattes. My high when I started weight loss was 87.7kg. My target is 75 kg. My success, when I first started getting into weight loss was 81kg. My baseline when no real effort was given was 84kg. And my current is 86kg.   

But, I have not been able to really have a good go at it without being able to do regular gym and I am hoping I can continue gym every other day for a month or longer. 

This was all, I'm sure not that interesting personal updates. But it all has an impact on the kind of thing I talk about here. I fundamentally talk about using these different spiritual tools. Meditation, dream interpretation, the Law of One, the Human Design and others, for personal growth. 

Benefit of the gym.

The gym is fitting into my personal understanding of these things. Of the great path that we all travel to some extent as I understand it. What I have noticed previously is doing exercise, going to the gym, has allowed me to look at the negative things in my life that were previously hidden. 

The way these highly homogenised new age spirituality tends to look at things is that it assumes the person reading is in the place of general negative thinking. Then it tries to counsel things such as positive thinking or visualisation. 

For me, this is not the way to moving forward, to 'evolution' so to speak. For me, my default is kind of positive. My baseline is an incredibly positive state to the extent that I like to, (when I remember to!) Go on one youtube per day on the topic of 'narcissism'. Simply because, I am so reliably conditioned away from any kind of negative thinking, I need these reminders. 

I will give an example from a while back to illustrate this. When I left my last job, I did not think about it much, there was just a bunch of stuff that happened. However, after a good gym session, I realised that someone, a manager from another team, had sat next to me and listened to everything I was doing, in order to cast my behaviours in the most negative light. (Often offering to help but always taking the most negative interpretation of my actions.)

My manager at the time had my back. But I had not noticed this until I had gone to the gym. Several years after I had left. I figure it is something to do with not feeling like you can take on the confrontation. Me subconsciously calculating that I could not stand up to the group. But once I went to the gym and exercised that anxiety out, that insight was suddenly revealed to me.

This happens a lot. It feels like it could be an entire process. When I am wondering about some bad thing that happened. For instance, a friend of mine committed suicide a few years ago. To see the real negativity involved takes this level of exercise. 

Another thing that happens is just generally wanting to see people in a positive light. Perhaps because they are sweet in some way. A lot of young, attractive, women have this general protection that exists in the minds of people in general.

I suspect, that there are layers to this. An insight that leads to a general insight that certain people did not like me, on the following gym session might lead to an even deeper insight in this regard. So this is a powerful aid to the "great work" as the Law of One called it. 

One ring to rule them all. 

I am reading Lord of the Rings. Thinking through what the ring could symbolise. It is an interesting book to read and I had quite a lot of "synchronicity" so to speak, to get me there. 

Not much to say here. Stefan Molyneux said in his last podcast on this with Duke Pesta, that the ring might be propaganda and I might eventually agree with that. 

I have been thinking it could be a few different things though. It is made of pure gold as one. That could represent the corruption possible through wealth. When the ability to create value, takes that wealth and turns it to corruption making a person very hard to oppose. 

It is also a 'hole', a ring. Which could represent female reproductive organs. Also it is what is worn on the finger in marriage. This could mean the incredible power that women have when casual sex is a possibility. 

They pretty much run everything. Between money and that kind of female power that also relates to marriage, that is a lot. 

But my ideas on it are not yet complete. If I do finally decide on something it has to fit with every little detail about the ring. The fact it turns people invisible. The fact that it talks to people 'in their own voice' and tells them they will be the first ones to use the rings power for good. The fact that it takes the user into a different dimension of sorts. The fact that it allows you to understand languages you didn't previously understand when you are there. But importantly, the reason Tom Bombadil, Faramir, and to an extent Sam, were immune to the ring. As well as the Elves rings not being corrupted.

General Law of One thoughts. 

My big issue a while back was not being able to come off caffeine hence not being able to do session 32.1. This has changed now. I do drink alcohol. But not that often, and definitely even less when it might interfere with my gym session. But chocolate was always something that screwed me up quite bad. Screwed me up in a mental way and stops me sleeping after a while. I am very glad I have come off it. 

I had tried to follow Jades ideas previously, and had come away from it. Feeling that if I did affirmations to the Creator while tidying it was kind of maddening. I found another solution. After the gym I can just get on with tidying with no problem. I just feel good and hence 'just do it'. 

Healing:

I have mentioned my many attempts and issues with energy healing. Feeling previously that when I did it I felt like I was kind of 'dying inside'. I feel that not masturbating, the male sex drive, offers an alternative to this. I.e. even if I am healing if I have that energy there I will still feel alive. 

It is not healthy to not masturbate. I did manage 13 days. But it is not something that I've ever been able to do. It is also possibly not healthy. At the moment, as long as I have not masturbated for three days I will consider doing energy healing and I prioritise meditation in a big way. Because, spiritual teachings is very primary for me I believe on a deeper level. Way moreso than healing.  

The Human Design:

I have been following the transits recently. I had distinct experiences and perceptions that related to the 44-24, the 1-2, with the 1-8 channel being defined through Uranus, and the 43-23. These were big noticeable changes. But I am also at the end of this blog so I won't go into them now.  

Q stuff. 

A few interesting Q posts and other interesting things recently. What I also want to follow up on is reflections on the emotional implications on such big changes in our lives coming. I have had dreams specifically to this. Is it that all is forgiven because the world will transition so strongly? Or is it that we have the right to our feelings and it is good to hold people accountable to their previous behaviour? 

Conclusion.

As I said previously, I am so happy recently that it is becoming less obvious to me why I would blog at all. Not that blogging is bad at all. But these, and more, are some of the things going through my mind at the moment.  

I do imagine over the long term as well, things like consistent exercise will change my personality at what seems like a very core level. But we will have to wait and see. Perhaps this change would lead to a different output.  

The eye of the beholder.

I wrote a previous post saying that I would not be blogging anymore. It didn't take. The thoughts in my mind came together and simply demanded expression. 

What were those thoughts? Well, they seemed powerful at the time. I remember them just. But I also feel they are less important now.

I talked about a youtube series on the Law of One here previously. One the basis of that I started doing a kind of chant when I was tidying/ cleaning etc. I started saying things like 'As I tidy this up, I am honouring the One Infinite Creator'. 

It was not me. It required a lot of energy and just seemed a bit mad to me even though it was talked about in the Law of One. It had started to work. I had started to look forward to that period in my day as a legitimate spiritual practice. 

But, it also became something that was weird and I didn't like. A kind of 'repulsion of the magnet' so to speak. I prefer to just tidy my space from the perspective of just practically doing it. Not creating a ritual around it.

It made me think about something from a new perspective. I checked out that youtube channel with its spiritual teachings because it was there and I am always looking for ways to kind of move forward. I found it to be interesting partly because the woman reading it had a lot of perspectives on it. That she read it and emphasized parts of the text that I just skim over. Sort of how two people might watch the same movie and one remembers the action and another remembers the character development. 

But perhaps, that's not the point? Perhaps the additional knowledge is not useful to me and perhaps, everyone that reads the Law of One interprets it in their own way and... That's the point?

For me, I would skim over normally the parts like 'make a ritual of your tidying'. Because it is not relevant to me? 

This is what I am going with at the moment. It makes sense.  

An exploration of left wing types of people.

I am definitely questioning the value of blogging and making youtube videos. In my most recent medical issue, to recover from the shock. I have been listening to a lot of music. I have been low on energy and soberly reflecting on life. 

I have been motivated to continue my youtube for about three reasons: 1) The Law of One quote; 'Forget you the counting'. In relation to this 2) The fact that the Law of One group themselves started off in obscurity. Just recording the sessions. Only later was this published in a book 3) The fact that I have the free time and can do this stuff as a hobby. Also, to settle things like boredom and loneliness. 

But, I have to imagine there is a limit to this. I have to imagine that at some point the market. One of the fairly objective measures of value. Has valued my output as too low for me to practically justify continuing. 

Another set of thoughts I have though, that kind of indirectly relates. Is the intersection and reflection on two elements. 1) That the world and everyone I am surrounded with, even digitally, is very left wing and has a very determined dislike of me based on only that; and 2) That it looks like to me, that some sort of Q thing is about to happen. 

The tactic of the left of claiming victimhood and then doing all sorts of criminal things under that cover is actually meeting some consequence lately it seems to me. I thought SNAP being cancelled in America would never take. In my life so far on this earth, the people that vociferously claim victimhood, and no doubt a small percentage of those are legitimate victims. Have never had something just cancelled like this in the Western world. 

I think, on a global level. This power dynamic shift is pretty significant. It's like knowing someone that falsely claims some sort of illness your whole life and then a couple of your friends suddenly stop enabling this person. 

It suggests, that the common left wing bias of the normies in society is starting to meet friction. Even though these people are unchanging. They go on twitter/ reddit and wherever every day with the most incorrect takes but refuse to hear anything else. They just repeat them the next day. But while they have been doing that, the ground underneath their feet has been shifting. I know the difference between 2019 Trump and this Trump. I know that John Bolton has been arrested and the significance of US- Aid. But these people do not. 

I have had a lot of people in my life. A LOT. Articulate a lot of unpleasantness towards me for other than left wing views. I mentioned that a girl I had known had killed herself and she didn't like my non left wing views. She disliked them so much in fact that she kind of moved very hard towards friendships with people (family even!) with left wing views that did not like me. I was her strongest supporter though. I knew how to keep her in a mentally good place. This choice from her was not a good one from my perception. 

The consequences for people engaging in left wing habits/ friendships/ thoughts can be STEEP. These consequences do not seem to motivate change. 

It has been the revealed motivation I think behind a lot of bullying. I was even talking to someone on reddit the other day that was being extremely friendly until he realised I was not the person he thought he was talking to. He thought I was someone else he was talking with. It was interesting. Because for a few minutes I felt the normal connection that he would reserve for left wing people. He stopped completely talking to me when he realised who I am. Didn't even finish off the conversation. I had been very polite talking to him since it was a novelty talking to someone not sullen and hostile over reddit. 

I wonder how many interactions like that have been so motivated? How many people that WOULD have been nice and normal and pleasant; but chose not to for this reason. It is a very invisible thing. 

I do directly interact with left wing people and tell them they are wrong. Which I did on reddit recently. It usually starts with something pretty nondescript. Like this is the purely factual thing that I think relates to what someone posted. Just the facts. No emotion. No anything. 

But then I am met with just an unbelievably stupid response. It's because left wing people have all these delusions. Reddit is a place of a kind of agreed mass delusion. You state reality, that I wouldn't predict could be easily be denied and then they're like "No, this thing which is completely ridiculous and makes no sense is reality." Then I'm like... Wait what? No, this is why that's crazy. Do I ask questions about their worldview?

I will show what I mean in relation to the SNAP conversation. They say a federal judge agreed that SNAP benefits should be paid. I said that I saw a Trump truth social that said that he believed it could not be done legally and so had written to the court to ask them how it could be done legally. 

So what Trump is saying is that it can't be done legally basically. They didn't like this and they said to me. On top of quite a few comments like 'YoU sRe StUpId". Not much more than that and I find the left genuinely think the conversation can move on from a point they don't like upon that put down. They said that of course it can be done legally. It's just the way it generally happens in government. 

So many problems with this but the biggest one is it is a position of pure arrogance. Donald Trumps opposition is not small. It is well funded. He has been targeted by lawfare many times. If there was such an easy response to Trumps query, then the court would say so. They would also leak it to the media if they were ignored. It would be an absolute propaganda win for the Democrats. 

At the moment the left is going with 'A judge has ordered Trump to pay SNAP so he has to pay it'. In typical left wing fashion they haven't been acknowledging any nuance.  

The larger point is that the people that are engaged at this level of judiciary and politics are high IQ, the effective ones, and have decades of experience. There are MANY of these people. Highly paid. Highly connected. The general knowledge of a redditor is... just that.

But there are loads of redditors and left wing people in general, and they all uniformly seem to believe this. That their opinion, which I don't know where it comes from. Has some sort of seniority over what all these very capable people have put together. 

There have been rumblings of a Q nature. Some that are more interesting than I have heard thus far. If it were to happen that events did work out to shrink the left and put power in a more productive configuration. Meritocracy and a lot more right wing people. The disproving of the COVID narrative. I wonder if my life would improve and I would be somewhat vindicated at this time. If that were the case. The sacrifice of all friendships and most socialising, and even of a lot of other benefits. I would hope the positive change would be proportionate to that.

And no, I don't believe in forgiveness for these people. A lot of them have spent decades bullying everyone in their lives that falls out of conformation with left wing beliefs. Their first motivation. That of the leftist... Envy. With any luck it will be the hell they live in when meritocracy is restored and they are left to contemplate their own... infinite... mediocrity. Because who else but a mediocre person would believe those things?