The incel-ly post.

I am definitely in an "incel-ly" sort of phase. 

My health has been so bad for so long that I have not had to worry about sexual matters too much. I have always been able to easily withdraw. That, or I have been chasing girls and badly failing but also showing deep schizophrenic types of symptoms. Now though, a lot of that is solved; and my natural healthy drive has started to bug me.

On a philosophical level it annoys me. The Law of One is a set of theories I think about and respond to. But women, in our current society. Have what I would consider an almost aristocratic privilege and attitude to go along with that. Perhaps not past a certain age when the attention runs down. 

I do look good. I still get attention and looks. Even though I am not in my twenties anymore, am gaining a bit of weight, and am generally a bit pissed with life. But women are unpredictable. It could be that just approaching them I have better than expected success. That I am the literal degenerate that so many red pill content creators lambast, that women have a disproportionate affection for. When I speak to women, I am in control in a strange way. 

But I am kind of trapped. I have got my daily patterns as good as I can make them. Prayer, meditation, and when I can do it, music. Also the gym. Human design, and this blog. So I figure I should push every other technique if I am not yet getting the results I want.

There is no obvious route to improve my relation to women. Or to explore it. At the gym the other day, a blonde young hot thing was close to me and seemed to make eye contact as I left. At night, when I go, it is not a good idea I don't think, to talk to women. But it happened, as it did, and excuses can be used at any time. 

So one of the techniques I've considered exploring is writing stories about it working out. But when I write stories. The story works out like it wants to. I don't feel I can change it. I also don't feel like I can write stories because I have a low level of emotional empathy. I think. I am not sure. 

A few months ago I saw a girl that stayed with me long term. Blonde, young, beautiful, massive breasts. Very similar to another girl I knew that I was able to charm. I saw her near a church, and I tried to write a story about me talking to her and it working out. The point is, to imagine things working out and to train myself to relate to women better when I see them on the fly:

              Oh, another one Daisy thought to herself. Another guy that wanted to look tough but wouldn’t even approach her. He didn’t look much, this guy, but he was a little good looking. Looking like he’d put on a bit of weight, was probably married.

              She didn’t make eye contact and walked on. Fully aware of the intense beauty of her form. But after she thought he had gone, she saw a shadow up on the right of her.

              “Hey”, the guy said, obviously a bit nervous. “Can I talk to you for about fifteen minutes?”

              Shocked at this request, she looked at him. Feeling a little angry. But a spontaneous smile from this guy, stopped her short.

              “Er… No” she said.

              And then he fucked off. 

 I can't even make it work out in my own fantasies! 

The human design holds that I am a manifestor so I should just do what I want and hope for the best. Approach and worry about the rest later. The point of the stories was to improve the desireability of the whole thing. But perhaps it comes down to the human design. Or perhaps it does not. 

Reflections on Manifestor (Human Design) and Meditation.

Finally, I have found a Manifestor:

Simon Baker. 

Main character in 'The Mentalist'. I find that characters, actors, act precisely in line with the charts. Because if someone is to do acting. What else is there? For a generator, their sacral will be responding. Yes, No, and will form the character. It works with any type I am sure. 

 

This is another Manifestor. A guy called Neil Jackson. Yet another two manifestors are Jennifer Lawrence (the time of birth is given for Lawrence!), and Chadwick Boseman. Although I have never seen a Chadwick Boseman film. Manifestors are extremely rare though, and I sometimes wonder if they don't fit in with Hollywood culture. I remember going through the entire cast of Star Trek Deep Space Nine and I did not even find one Manifestor. 

The reason I mention this. Is because Simon Baker, Neil Jackson and Jennifer Lawrence, all have some similar themes in their characters. All emphasized very strongly. Like, it is the whole story. It is this story where a guy has to kind of seethe and plot to oppose a tyrant of some sort. An evildoer. 

Simon Baker, in the Mentalist, he spends almost the entire show hunting the serial killer that killed his wife and daughter. Red John. Neil Jackson. In Dream Team, which is a football soap. He is taken advantage of and strategically works against the forces trying to destroy the football club. Then in the Blade series. It is a similar story with a head vampire. 

In the Hunger Games. Jennifer Lawrence has a similar thing. Although, there are other themes, some movies where this specific theme is not shown. I wonder if it reflects something about the Manifestor energy?

Not sure how that fits in with the theory. But it is not the same kind of story with the other types. They do tend to be more worker types of people doing their normal life then coming across a whole lot of chaos. Like, the surrounding cops in the Mentalist, or a Bruce Willis film. (Pure Generator!) There is a lot of joy in the Generator characters in general. 

I don't know precisely what this means. Like, why the manifestors precise circuitry would create this effect. 

The Projector, as a non sacral, without the sacral. They relate a little more to the individual. Christopher Judge (Teal/c in Stargate SG-1). Heath Ledger. Rene Aubergenois (The captain of Deep Space Nine). Patrick Stewart, Marina Sirtis (Counsellor character in The Next Generation). These characters all have a deeply psychological element to them. The outer enemy is secondary to their inner journey (even with Teal'c episodes like the right of Mal Sharan!). 

Not so with the Manifestors though. The outer enemy really is the point of the Manifestor journey as portrayed in fiction. Or so it would seem. 

The manifestors generally carry themselves with a certain poise, and are quite a commanding presence. Even though Simon Bakers character in the Mentalist is not any sort of leader. He does effectively lead in a sense. They all have a kind of inscrutable intelligence and strategy. 

Thoughts on yesterdays post/ Meditation. 

Yesterday, I talked about how the meditation I was doing was kind of unbalancing me. As in, I was getting anxious. I have thought about why this is and a correction of it. 

It reminds me of the quote in the Law of One material: "It is unwise to run before you can walk". Or similar words of the same meaning.

When I was doing meditation. The meditations that were bringing me so deep I was not moving at all. I would feel my body stop from non movement. I would get powerful insights. This meditation was done with the aid of a certain ritual. I put book 2 of the Law of One next to me. I put a pyramid on my lap. 

I have been doing this for a while and it is powerful. BUT, there is an issue with this. It does seem to make me very cerebral and it does seem to make me completely forget about sexual and animalistic matters in general.

This is not healthy. So I have gone back to normal meditation. It does not sound like much and it definitely isn't much to people that are not acquainted with this sort of thing. But for me it is the difference between complete stillness and normal movement. When I am not deepening the meditation in that way my hands are moving normally. 

My meditation today was almost half me dealing with my own "lower" impulses. In general. I think this will be a far better effect than what I was doing before.  

Spiritual work and balancing.

Meditation is HEAVY! So heavy I feel that it has rewired my brain a little. To the extent I just keep coming up with thoughts to write on this blog, and they get dissolved by meditation. Also, what is personal and what I am OK to fit into a larger framework and write about seems to have changed slightly. 

I have come to an insight today. About laziness, relaxation or slovenliness. What people need. Also linking back to the Law of One quote about Balancing your work with your real life. "Your work must be equal to your life". 

So a framework then to separate what is kind of, as a loose label... "Spiritual work". Which is also just regular work. From outside work life. We will call this "leisure". But it might not actually be leisure depending on the person. 

As I have said previously, I have thought over this quote before. But it seems to have slightly clicked. 

Our spiritual work as I see it can be read out of our human design:

My idea on our spiritual work is as follows. Our incarnation cross is the thing that we are here to learn. The element of the thing we are. This really sets the course for the rest of the chart. Like others have said. it is extremely important. 

For Ra Uru Hu. This is wisdom. It is expressed through a behaviour. For me it is prayer. So my incarnation cross. Which is also wisdom. Is shown by prayer. For another element of person. This could be love or Power. 

Next, another element of the three, (wisdom, power or love). Is our conscious North Node. For me this is shown by meditation. This is my version of "love". The gate it's in though is also correlated with "philosophy" I suspect. Although, it may be that the philosophy is the whole chart. 

Last, the third of the three elements (So for me, we have done wisdom and love, the third is power). Is power. This for me is music. 

In a basic way, the conscious North Node is slightly more important than the subconscious. If we are ill, the subconscious will tend to not be functioning so well. But life is set so we always have meaning. The conscious side of the design functions no matter how ill we are. But also, confusingly. Our "life path" so to speak. The thing we are here to do in the real world. The thing that palpably changes things like status. Is in the unconscious North Node. 

The conscious is more important because it keeps everything in alignment. Whereas the subconscious is kind of impotent if anything goes wrong. The incarnation cross is the most important of all. 

What I have found out though. Where this relates to work and leisure. The incarnation cross, the nodes. Are our spiritual work. But the rest of our chart also needs exercise. It also needs to exist. 

I had the perfect day today in relation to these. Meditation has been unbelievably profound for me. I am doing prayer every day which is what has allowed me to do meditation and has fended off a lot of 'bad luck' things that seemed to undermine my health. But my perfect day today was to get all these things in balance. The prayer, the meditation, and an intense music session. 

But a person needs live beyond that. Relationships, friendships etc. I would say that if you don't have a certain amount of 'leisure'. You have nothing to sing about! My songs have always come from emotional real life situations. 

Without that, it seems to me, that "leisure" becomes kind of compelled. After meditation and music. I was not able to relax. All the entertainment I might normally enjoy. Youtube videos, books, poems, (even the Law of One) are just too much intellectual work. There was no possibility of calming down and certain experiences yesterday have put me in an anxious place.

So, seeing no other option. I went and changed my pennies and got two beers and a bar of chocolate. 

A small point. In my view, the meditation, music and prayer does not mean I should not be doing anything else. If I were to enter the workforce. I do not know what parts of my chart would be used but it could be part of the "spiritual work" so to speak. I just wanted to clarify because we never know what these crazy people want out here.  

It's all a bit confused and complicated because it relies on this unhealthy society. But that's what I am sticking with. We have our spiritual work. Then by a natural balance we are meant to have experience and leisure. if this is not possible we have to find a way to balance that.  

Gods plan and the red pill.

I feel strongly guided, I feel that it is one of the most useful things I can do in my life. To read the Law of One. There may be a time in the future where I have less free time. If our society improved and I was more physically healthy and able to get a job. When looking back on this time, how would I have liked to have spent it? Reading the Law of One is one of the best uses of said time I can think of. 

This blog is partly formed emotionally by this. Many times I am drafting a blog in my mind. Sometimes these can be written I imagine, or sometimes, the energy will just abandon me as I sit down to write. But when reading the Law of One. Some shift, some insight, will change my fundamental way of looking at things. If an idea feels like it has been formed by anger. The information will remain but the anger will disappate

Reading through session 72. I have not even finished it yet. But the insights into healing and energy in general are profound. 

What I am thinking of though. Is... women. As I have gotten into meditating, red pill types of content has become more satisfying. 

When I saw the AWFUL's and the Minnesota situation. Middle class liberal women literally becoming violent. Also sometimes when I go on spirituality focused reddits and such. I am surprised at the fanatical obedience to the leftist cause that a lot of women have. 

There are many things to consider here. Many ways that I wonder if there is some deeper message afloat. Some deeper spiritual meaning. 

One thing that I did not know when I was younger. One thing that was not at all made clear to me and has become something to think over. Is that women, young women, have a fantastic amount of attention going to them at all times. A young girls DM or text messaging folder will be filled with a lot of guys. All starting with just basic introductory messages. "How are you?" and such. 

I remember being at a bus stop and overhearing a young girl. Between 16 - 20. She said she had gone to a bar with her friends and they had an acquaintance there and somehow, the conversation had come about that her and her friends could go there whenever they want for free food and drinks. 

If I was not mistaken I thought this girl wanted my attention as well. As though she did not have enough already. 

As much as women scream when any "red pill" information is brought up. That it is all just hate against women. This kind of thing, the fact that women have all this attention, is very important for me to know. Blue pill sources are not going to highlight this. When I was young, it often confused me how unaffected women were if my attention was present or removed. How quickly they are able to move on. But it makes sense if they have a million other options. 

Female psychology is different to make psychology, partly due to environment, but also, in relation to hormones. Men have 16 times as much testosterone as women. Meaning men have the desire to push forward, to succeed, and to gain in status. 

This is a fundamental difference I think, in outlook. Men both have the power and desire to gain status. But they also start with very little status. Young men, outside some very dark things with pdf files and things, are not able to go to bars with their friends and have the hot girls in the kitchen tell them that they can come any time for free food. They do not have a million friends in their inbox. 

Mens status is connected to their work and money a lot more than womens is. 

This is why men are always challenged to "be better", where womens self help books have more enphasis on 'love yourself', and 'you are a being of infinite worth'. This is also why female writers and directors tend to create female characters that are Mary Sue's. Because from a female perspective, people just are of a certain quality. There is no climbing the ranks. Because in our distant past, almost all women reproduced. One man would reproduce out of every seventeen women.  

One finding in social sciences is that in every single society, men are more interested in politics than women. Women are simply not that naturally interested in politics I don't think. But they are interested in knowing all the relevant information that allows them to fit in. One of the few ways womens power of reproduction can be opposed is ostracism from other women. 

So while men want to know all the relevant things in the society. To potentially gain status from that among other things. I think women in general have two relevant behaviours here: A) They don't absorb politics to know the truth, but to conform. B) Because things generally come to them, rather than them needing to reach for things, they are not inclined to more deeply research a lot of things. 

This is all fairly basic. This is a big explanation as to how things are like they are. That women are used to kind of being served and the propagandists come to them. Obviously though there is a kind of spiritual component. Being constantly served, like the girl at the bus stop, brings a level of narcissism. In a way, the experience of these women, who have probably never been told they are wrong in their lives, committing to a leftist cause and being proven wrong, might be good for their spiritual growth. 

There is another element of this too though. 

The more left wing a society becomes. The more it is about high tax. The more social mobility decreases. With the way the globalists have fixed society. Social mobility has all but stopped. 

In a society that is 'socialist'. Where social mobility isn't really a thing. A girl can be fairly unpleasant to a guy, and there won't likely be any pushback. Because she can accurately assess his current status, and this will not change. 

But in a more capitalist/ free society, as Trump is transitioning to. He is going literally zero tax, meritocratic hiring etc. A guy that is relatively low status feels a hunger and attempts to redress this - and through hard work and such, he actually can; and the society benefits from this. So the guy that was once low status, might become higher status. Men in general have more power. It is a far more difficult world to navigate. It also includes more consequences for women for behaving in an unloving way. 

I saw a video the other day of a women on tik tok talking about her experiences with women. She said that she cannot tell even the mildest joke to them. She tried to make a joke about 9/11 and other women responded with horror. But, as she said: "Then if you make a joke about guys suddenly they're all comedians, right?"

This is the attitude of someone with an almost aristocratic level of privilege.  

Where this all leads me is to casually wondering if this might all tell us something about "Gods plans". Pre 2020, most guys were working hard and not really questioning a lot of this. However, we now have an issue that men are not approaching women, and men are not going to singles events and such like that. This is due to the red pill. Not the theory. People aren't rooting through Rollo Tomassi's books on dating app statistics and social theory. This is due to things like street interviews with women saying they are dating four men at a time. 

I wonder then, if the reason that things worked like this "behind the scenes". Is that men serve women. To push against that is hard work as it is very instinctual. A man gets himself together as best he can, then what? What to do with all that energy, fertility, money etc? But we have got to the point, informed by a broken economy and such, where that energy has stopped largely. It means that men are not paying lipservice to left wing stuff. They are paying womens bills less. So with that degree of separation, it becomes more possible to see what is actually going on in a lot of these women.  

The perfection of Gods plan (illness).

One of the things that has often bugged me, as part of my thinking over a lot of the kind of things that this blog discusses. Is that if everything is perfect, as the Law of One kind of states. How does illness interact with that? Illness just doesn't seem perfect really does it?

I have wondered before, if the Law of One was kind of lying about illnesses in general. In their respect of free will, they did not want to reveal that illness is basically a government program. Made up of Vax's and weird things that they put in our food. 

Jury is still out on that. But as I meditate properly again. As I really commit to prayer and such. I do feel as though I am starting to have more insights along this kind of area:

Youtube: Dr Melissa Sell: Your symptoms are not mysterious. (January 22nd 2026)

https://youtu.be/nrAOUGchJ2Q?si=ry-_EkecNYO5K4to 

If we look at symptoms this way, they are kind of perfect. I cannot easily recall the examples given in German New Medicine. But it is things like if we feel threatened in our territory, then our bladder expands so we can mark it. The theory expands out to a lot of areas. That diabetes, as an example, is where we experience early shock, and our body send an emergency signal back to our bodies. Exhausting the pancreas with the sudden need for huge amounts of sugar. 

This kind of correlates with how the new age sees these healings in some ways. Louise Hay, and the Law of One itself. But there is an additional feature with German New Medicine that it all relates strongly to Evolutionary Psychology matters. 

It all makes a lot more sense and is a lot more satisfying than looking up things on energy healing. There is something solid to grip in all this. 

So in this manner. Illness, though painful. Would be kind of perfect in a way. It would be the natural functioning of the body. In the diabetes example, it is the body's response to trauma. 

I expected this post to go differently. But I suppose that the way it has gone has gotten around my free will concerns. Directly saying what my thoughts are on my own condition might be relevant to those. 

But suffice to say, that I have been having very deep insights from my meditations. I have a health issue. I have many in fact. I have one big central one and a few other smaller ones. (Digestive problem, skin rashes etc.) 

My meditation today. I got it right again. As I said I hope I will get it right frequently. Deep within the meditation. At 12 minutes. I got an insight. At 24, I got the real insight. Hopefully, it will lead to an improved health outcome for one of my minor problems. It all fit. What was going on in my life when the health problem started etc. 

There is another aspect of this though. Something else that is relevant. 

A lot of these issues, a lot of these health problems come down to generally unpleasant people in our lives. I suspect strongly, that the "love is the only purpose" kinds of people in a lot of spiritual communities. The kind that promote forgiveness without contrition. Their general philosophies and way of being are directly against these kinds of insights and resultant healing. 

Of course they would not directly own up to it. Like how I described negative philosophies as generally shifting (In my post on the 31st, "Reflections on Negative Philosophies"). A lot of these negative philosophies. Because they are defined in opposition to a positive philosophy. They don't really have a central point and thus, simply change their form to oppose said positive philosophy when challenged. 

The example I gave, with determinism. Is that sometimes people describe about determinism that it is due to all our actions being determined by your genetics and need for survival. When challenged, that there are many people that oppose the need for survival. It will then shift to being a theological argument. 

People that promote "forgiveness without contrition" kind of arguments. the argument will shift in a similar way. The motivating force is cowardliness and the enabling of evil doers. So when you speak to them. They might say "Oh, you don't need to see the person and absorb abuse, forgiveness doesn't mean seeing someone". But in the real world, when someone is in communication with a bunch of Christians that believe this, they will in fact push them to see their abusive family members. 

So, the spiritual ideas on 'love', and what is in practice "infinite cowardliness". Are a direct opposition to actual healing. 

When the curtain comes down.

I went on twitter today, and have decided to not log onto twitter for a while. There were so many posts about recent Epstein file and related information, that I thought I'd take a break. 

I need to go through a bit of personal history to explain how I see this recently. But it is under the paradigm (another word doesn't fit!) of attempting to follow the teachings of the Law of One. So because I think the Law of One is important, I am going to explain it best I can, even if it goes through boring territory. 

When I was somewhere between 15 and 25. I first studied the Law of One. I did not apply much of it. I thought through a lot of things like trying to solve a puzzle and I suppose it did lead me to a whole lot more "service to others" things than I would otherwise have done. But I did not apply all of it. A lot of it I just kind of memorised and didn't really used. This is not an uncommon occurence, I don't think. With how people experience various insights and teachings. 

One of the teachings I did not apply was the Law of One's perspective on 'transcient' information. I do not have an understanding of this teaching directly from the text. But, I have been slowly working through its relevance. Like, when I was still paying close attention to conspiracy information. When I would stop, I would have insights into my psychology and stuff. My normal process. 

After my "schizophrenic break" at 27. I was not able to meditate and was disinclined from spirituality in a way I had not been before. In fact, I deliberately did bad stuff to suppress the madness within. Conspiracy was that. 

During my kind of worship of David Wilcock, as I see it now. And my obsession with conspiracy theory. I also had a lot of anger towards leftists around me. I was an annoying schizophrenic truther. I did keep myself to myself a great deal. I still believed in the Free Will. But, I felt passionately about these things and wanted others to come around to my views. So I would discuss right wing politics and do things like read the Qur'an and talk to people about that. The Islam angle is a bigger part of conspiracy information in the UK. 

It was at this point, where what is going on in the world at the moment would have been amazing to me. It would have been what I really wanted. I did not only want the truth to be revealed. But the people surrounding me to be forced to acknowledge it. So that I would not be the mad person that believes in QAnon, but would actually be right about these things and also, so that what would logically follow. Mass arrests and a golden age of humanity, would also follow. 

On top of basic information I also had absorbed a great deal of Pizzagate type of stuff. The full horror aspect that I won't go into here. I thought that this horror being exposed to generally left wing centrist people that refused any of this was a kind of karma. 

This is the main emotional point I wanted to bring up here. Since there are probably people freshly awakening that are experiencing this. And are pushing forward the Epstein information due to this. I was never able to get any official information to back up my perspective. It was a different time. 

However, my life and my perspective changed. Bear in mind that I have been pretty much "awake" since I was 14. In investigating my medical condition, I realised they were not seriously trying to cure it. 

Come COVID lockdown, and the energy of conspiracy was winding down. Friends and family wrote me angry letters and said they were not seeing me again due to right wing viewpoints. Or just ghosted me. But I discovered dream interpretation. Which was always the solution against the schizophrenic stuff. I was able to meditate again and started praying and such. My "Christian path" so to speak. Was maturing. 

But as I have gone through all this. Years of looking at the conspiracy stuff in detail. Several elements are relevant. I have looked closely at it and having been interested in it, got to the point where it is less interesting. Things are more interesting when you first look at them. I have thought through the whole thing from a spiritual or philosophical perspective. Emotionally, it is hard to not try and incorporate a lot of very dark information into my world view. As an example, times when prayer has not worked for people. 

Most recently though. Now that I am properly reading the Law of One, and properly meditating. My meditations are an experience all of their own. It allows me to truly not be interested in that conspiracy stuff. I have experienced it. I have looked at it in the past. I experience it as disturbing the positive state I am in when I meditate and such. 

There is a deceptive belief I have observed. That somehow, by not looking at stuff, you are not honouring the victims or something like that. That they had to experience all that, and you are not even going to read about it. 

But, that is not relevant. I always wanted to be able to genuinely, emotionally experience a lack of interest in transcient types of information. Now we are here, now it seems like things are starting to actually move. This is exactly what I am experiencing. 

It would be an interesting twist of fate if everyone else starts getting interested in this now; and all I wanted to do was meditate and play music.  

Reflections on negative philosophy

Oh man, plumbing problem. So a few days away from blogging or even thinking of these things. No meditation.

I am just rebuilding myself a little after life chaos. Like, eating properly and stuff. But one of the things I did to chill recently. Is started a fight on reddit.

It was on a male, and probably older male focused subreddit. But I engaged in a philosophical discussion about determinism. It was a good enough subforum for me to passionately state my case, without being haranged and banned. They could handle conflict.

It started indirectly. I responded to something someone said and then got the idea to challenge the forum from what I have understood of Stefan Molyneux's understandings of determinism. 

But I learnt something I think. Or I observed something that I think illustrates an important point. 

I also, when looking for this material, went through my notes on Stefan Molyneux. I found them unbelievably profound and, for whatever reason. While I have retained a good deal of what he talks about. There is a lot I also haven't seemed to retain. A lot of things I read from my notes were as though I was reading for the first time. 

Anyway, Stefan Molyneux's argument against determinism. Not his full argument. Because he has many hours on it. But his argument from a podcast that was, 5682 "Determinism murders virtue". But just that podcast that I have already listened to makes several interesting cases. And it became my material to argue against the group of people I was arguing against, who were HEAVILY pro determinism. 

It is a good, intuitive argument, I think. But still, one pattern emerged. My understanding of determinism is that it is a philosophy that strips moral agency from people, by putting down the idea of free will. So an example from Stefans podcast, which none on that forum argued against, is that if a person is a determinist. They might believe that because their father beat them. They are destined to beat their child. That we have no free will. So this is just how it is.  

From this perspective, I am defining determinism as a fairly negative philosophy. Since the Law of One defines free will as the most important law of the Universe. We can say at least that it is categorically confused. 

So in examining this fairly negative philosophy. A few interesting patterns came up. It is also interesting as to how to handle negativity in general. 

Going back to Saint Francis of Assissi's definition. That negativity is a lack. It is a void. A few experiences I have had have made me think about that. So what happens when you confront negativity I think is that you attach, a person ideally attaches. Not to the negativity itself. Not to the substance of the determinists argument. Of which there is no substance. But to the more positive things that indirectly connect to it.

What did Stefan talk about? He talked about the intuitive change a person would experience if they thought they were speaking to a real person (I.e. the free will person) Or an AI (A being without free will). He talked about technical arguments. "Why would you do x if there was no y?" The flaw and bad faith in the argument that everyone is powerless relative to Omniscience.  He ends it on the description of the malevolence of the idea in relation to moral reasoning. 

But these are mostly things that don't actually reference the idea. But reference the natural positive instinct that people have that show that the idea is ridiculous or damaging. 

A lot of the examples I got back were kind of slimey. What people with bad theories often do is they simply try to represent their ideas well, by using generally positive terms and not defining said terms. There was not a lot of consistency in the response. Some people seemed to be using over intellectualised language. Which I thought through and challenged. 

People just tried to endlessly redefine what Determinism was. One time someone clearly said that we are compelled by our survival instincts. So everything is determinism and there is no free will. I said that there are people that commit to things such as feminism, and decide not to have kids. There are deliberate martyrs. 

The guy then said that this was no proof against determinism. So I said then that it is an unfalsifiable belief and was more of a "faith". There were a few attempts to define it as a kind of theological belief. So the goalposts shift. 

I can't expect a reddit subforum to properly articulate a high level philosophical belief. But I don't know that this is one. The Law of One subforum, with some notable exceptions. Had very little conception of what the Law of One actually said, and often made posts wildly diverging from it. I doubt a few of them had even read the Law of One. 

But, the emotional core of the argument. The motivation of why a lot of people pursue it, can be explored. Because it will be revealed under this kind of conflict. A few people started saying "Well, what do you think about free will". The argument is, semi obviously from the forum. Not so much a love of determinism. But a hatred of free will.  

So the points made were partially things like "If the belief is a rejection of another things, like Santa Claus or God, you don't need to justify it, so lack of a null hypothesis doesn't invalidate it."

The deep point of this forum is simply the refusal to believe in free will. Any point made against them meant that the definition of determinism shifted, to avoid being targeted. Because the thing that is fundamentally true and didn't shift. Is the idea of free will, that was being opposed. 

This is why the negative is so chameleon like. Because they are defining themselves against something, rather than for something. Which kind of puts them in the middle of "nothing", in a way. 

Which is why their belief cannot really be tackled head on. The Law of Free Will itself means that there are certain things that we cannot make others accept. To me, that says that for certain concepts. Proof will never be perfect.  

So how to handle this? In truth I believe these concepts CANNOT be opposed. I doubt very much whether what I have said on that forum has made an impact. It might have. But if and when it does, it will probably be in relation to other life events. 

I have often wondered to myself why the world is so bereft of supernatural events. In line with the Law of One. I do not accept that matter simply never responds like that. But I do see an incredible advantage in terms of polarity and spiritual laws, if all our conflict is restricted to the physical. To the real world, and the movement of resources. 

Theoretically, if what I have been saying is correct. If determinism is a really unpleasant ideology that paralyses the person. The pain for the people following it will come when they apply these ideas in the real world, and somehow, somewhere, someone pushes against them. It is how I think the world will work at other times. If someone I know disliked me for political reasons. If those were suddenly removed. The political reasons would be no excuse. Only their behaviour would be left. And they would have to justify it in other ways. 

Meditation: -> The funnel.

A second day of the same kind of meditation as yesterday. Completely mentally involved for half and hour and two days in a row means that I can repeat the process. That this is simply my new method of meditating. 

I am putting forward a tentative theory, as to a benefit of meditation. The Law of One talked about meditation in relation to processing. That if we hear and absorb information. If we don't meditate, then we don't process it. 

While meditating today I got a result. The result was that I became deeply aware, as a feeling, of one of the truths that I have heard again and again from social media and youtube videos. One of the truths that opposed my early childhood conditioning. Where we set up the general background emotional commitment to "how things are". 

As we grow older though, those things are less easy to change. So meditating creates this zone where that information finally slips deeper into our being. 

This direction also is on the way to answering a question I have constantly asked myself about real life. 

But another thing that seems relevant to me is that it is kind of like this:

What this shows, in my very crappy illustration. Is that deep inside us is this system I think. Each shape here represents a section of stuck beliefs/ feelings/ thoughts that blocks our general life force and experience. (The red life is our life force that becomes unobstructed as these things are solved!)

Meditation just detonates these, and the way it does so is that the various wisdom we have absorbed are actually applied to our emotions and thoughts. Often, the reason we have found this information is so that we can use it. Something we subconsciously know. 

Meditation though, is a tool. It is not the answer. Meditation will bring me these powerful insights and it solves my ... "psychological difficulties" for want of a better term. But there is no work put in to do meditation. I have done it for many years so there is that. I have probably trained myself physiologically to be very open to it and trained myself in the kind of faith and thinking through sources like the Law of One. But it does not provide anything in the real physical world

I am very excited about long term positive results of this practice. I feel I am deeply learning each time I do it.  

To meditate is to be.

A very self centered post but you will realise from reading this is because I am unusually happy with a recent success... 

Well, success, and I mean BIG success. Success that felt a bit like a drug high. That I think might have come close to 'contact' in a sense (In the Law of One, the contact talked a bit about how they valued the subtle connections we have with the spirits in our daily lives, even as much as a full on ET contact). 

Anyway, since I am praying regularly, things are good. (Gotta keep on top of that). I have also been trying to keep up with meditation. I tell myself that doing daily meditation is not the point, since I will not be able to do it one day. But I can pray every day. So my energy can be focused on the prayer, rather than the meditation per sey.

But I digress. 

I got my meditation together. I set up a few minutes, ahead of the meditation, to get things in order. I actually read the bible in this time, and I have a suspicion that my path will grow more in that direction as things continue. I will become more devout. But as yet, only a suspicion. Daily reading the Law of One is a big thing at the moment. 

Anyway, after this preparation. My meditation was deep. I mean DEEP. I have started to appreciate my earlier years of not having much of a life, being ill, and a bit of a 'loser' in the shallowest sense. Because it did allow me to meditate a lot. I value that now. 

So, what did I experience? I can't fully describe it. It was better than most of what I have experienced in life so far. It was a strange synergy of every little bit of information I have gained from the Law of One. My understanding of the spiritual reality. How it relates to real life. The realest of life. All combined with active insights. 

It was beautiful. It gave so much clarity. It was like when you suddenly gain a new perspective and you realise something that you thought was important, is not actually important. The insights are continuing but in a far more grounded and subtle way. It's just clarity really.

It is perfect.  

I have quite a lot to say that I can't articulate. Or that I suppose I could if I tried. But it also doesn't seem that important. 

I suppose I wondered if this blog, I would spontaneously come out with more profound stuff. I often come out with points I don't expect while writing these blogs. But it hasn't actually. I will leave it up though. Because at the very least. If there are other spiritual seekers out there. Another reminder to meditate (The Q'uo readings basically say that every reading!) Might be good. 

The Primacy of Prayer.

Very very often I have thought to myself. In my general rotation of the different tools that I use. Is there one that I can use, that if I used it every single day, would have the effect of improving my life. 

Meditation? Looking at the human design transits? Playing Music? Refraining from masturbation? Reading the Law of One?

But I think, finally. I have found what that thing may be.... Prayer. Making sure that I set an alarm to do two main prayers a day, and saying an additional set of prayers from a book at night. 

As might be obvious if someone were to read the last few weeks of this blog. I am reading through the Law of One again. Many of these blogs produce quotes that were sequential from the one before. So one from 48, 50, 53 etc. 

I had an unpleasant experience the other day. One that could have easily escalated in an unpleasant direction. I felt that it would go wrong a few moments before it did in a similar way to how it did (we can call this situation A). There was just an unpleasant vibe in the air. I was wondering, in general, as to the point of things and it was in fact a non positive coincidence that lead to the situation. In a way it was pointless. 

I have found a very strong correlation, impossibly strong. When I pray. Things kind of go OK. When I pray for a while they go so OK that I stop praying because it is not obvious that it is doing anything. But when I stop. I will just get some sort of nasty coincidence. Things will just start to go wrong in some way. When I was actually making a philosophy out of NOT praying a few days ago. A set of posts I may have deleted deciding it was not useful or correct. I got a health issue from a minor lack of judgement that put me out for four days and created a lot of discomfort. 

For me, the protective value of prayer is not in doubt. Even though I am still wrestling with a skeptical side to my nature. So I have reflected on what the value might be even if there was no larger positive entities not interacting with us. The take away is that doing prayer is very positive. It is this that I hope to do, day after day, and to look back on my life and see positive results. 

I said, in reference to 'scenario A', that it was unpleasant, could have gone far more wrong and was kind of pointless. In the Law of One, session 68, the three of talking to and transcribing the contact. Found that they were in real danger of being negatively infringed upon. It feels similar to my situation at the moment, albeit in a less important way. 

I also want to make another point here about the Law of One, this also from session 68:

Questioner: Then you are saying that if this fifth-density negative entity is successful in its attempts to transfer the mind/body/spirit complex when that complex is in what we call the trance state to negatively polarized time/space, then the higher self has no choice but to allow incarnation in negatively polarized space/time? Is that correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. The Higher Self could allow the mind/body/spirit complex to remain in time/space. However, it is unlikely that the Higher Self would do so indefinitely due to its distortion towards the belief that the function of the mind/body/spirit complex is to experience and learn from other-selves thus experiencing the Creator. A highly polarized positive mind/body/spirit complex surrounded by negative portions of space/time will experience only darkness, for like the magnet, there is no, shall we say, likeness. Thus a barrier is automatically formed.

What is interesting here to me is that even though, the Law of One contact is talking about opposing entities of a kind of galactic level evil. That this also applies to the most basic every day situations we get with even mildly annoying people. "Thus a barrier is automatically formed". Is a principle that is relevant to our daily lives. 

Anyway. The reason that prayer is THE thing, I believe. Is that meditation is very liable to be stopped by illness or life chaos and once you don't do something only one day. The momentum is broken. Last week I had a few days where I was stressed about something and didn't sleep. The next few days I slept for about twelve hours each day. When you sleep for twelve hours and you are not necessarily expecting it. Like, you fall to sleep at 18:00, and you have other things going on. Then you don't have time to meditate. 

We'll see how it goes. But hopefully, this is the thing! 

Reflections on my schizophrenic break.

In 2014 I had a severe schizophrenic break. One which had real world consequences. 

With all the insights I am currently having. I am starting to get to a place where I have insight into this. Not only the situation itself, but the situations that followed it. 

I have annoyed a great deal of friends and family through being fairly focused on right wing talking points. It seems to me though that the right wing talking points were a desperate inner attempt at gaining some sort of objectivity, from not having it in my previous understandings. Combining mild left wing leanings and spiritual teachings like the Law of One. 

However, there was also the lack of strength in my spiritual beliefs. I had read through the Law of One. But the Law of One is a set of deeply powerful spiritual concepts. When life happens, it is easy to let some half imagined, abstract idea come in and mess with an understanding. The Law of One's understanding are refined and powerful, so when you are kind of in the 'flow' of life. Those understandings becoming confused, can be quite catastrophic. 

I talked two blogs ago about sending love and light to people in general. My previous thought process had started to think of this as a very bad thing to do. In fact, this was a distinct part of my paranoia. That if I did send any kind of love or positive feeling, it would have extremely negative consequences. 

Later on in my life, things that I am reflecting now. In relating to certain individuals where I did not feel they were necessarily that positive. I am starting to realise that having come away from this tactic was not positive at that time either. 

Bringing us to this specific quote from the Law of One:

Questioner: Thank you. In closing that part of the discussion I would just say that if there is anything that we can do that is within our ability— and I understand that there are many things such as the ones that you just mentioned that are not within our ability— that we could do for this particular entity, if you would in the future communicate its requests to us we will at least consider them because we would like to serve in every respect. Is this agreeable to you?

Ra: I am Ra. We perceive that we have not been able to clarify your service versus its desire for service. You need, in our humble opinion, to look at the humor of the situation and relinquish your desire to serve where no service is requested. The magnet will attract or repel. Glory in the strength of your polarization and allow others of opposite polarity to similarly do so, seeing the great humor of this polarity and its complications in view of the unification in sixth density of these two paths.

At the very base of it, this is something that I should have been aware of a long time ago. To 'relinquish your desire to serve where no service is requested', (a line to reread when it is hard to remember). From having first learned about the Law of One, having had the energy to kind of improve me. It seems obvious to me that in order to remain sane and strong to the principles relevant to it. It was important, and is important, to re-read the books and make sure that the information is strong in a sense. Not modifiable by passing thoughts and fancies. 

This line from the Law of One also clarifies for me something that I have thought about and written about before. 

Stefan Molyneux: "Love is our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous".

I have still been thinking about this. It is clarified a little by another quote by him: "Reason, leads to virtue, leads to happiness".

To understand this. I imagine two people. Two women. One is right wing in a sense. Has her own viewpoints. Settled down early with a husband she loves with a couple of rug rats. Has a good relationship with her family and such. Supports things like perhaps Christianity, and literature like Charles Dickens.

The second woman is a leftist. A real leftist. Believes in climate change/ feminism, and is all sorts of insane. Leftists have a passionate hate for right wing people in general. Tend to believe and act on things like the positivity of the independent woman and hook up culture. Tends to hate men. Tends to hang around with people that take all kinds of drugs. Not interested in a long term relationship. Slept with a lot of very high status men she hoped would want her for more than a hook up. 

Life is not as simple as this. These are stereotypes and caricatures. In actual fact often right wing/ Christian women, even if they are traditional, can be quite controlling since they now have to do a lot to keep up their status. But on a basic level. One of these people seems like she would be nice to hang around. The second one does not seem like she is nice to hang around. Talking to a woman who mostly is concerned with looking after kids and has awareness of powerful literature. Would be positive and a relief. The second sounds like endless unproductive drama. Like a real headache, that will probably not want to deal with you anyway if you have anything other than left wing cult like beliefs. 

This makes sense as to the 'love is our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous'. This feeling is involuntary. You don't have to work to prefer to deal with the first one.  

And this is what might be meant by "The magnet will attract or repel".  

Sending love/ The Characterisation of Villainy.

In this blog I will include casual spoilers of The Mentalist, Person of Interest and Breaking Bad. Not real spoilers. Not like "This is the identity of Red John". But, "this is how it was emotionally with Red Johns accomplice".

Firstly though, just a personal note. I wrote two blogs ago about reading session 67 of the Law of One and, in my interpretation of the material, the idea that sending 'love and light' to people in general IS a correct thing to do.

There is actually quite a lot going into this, it became something I really thought over a few years ago. I have had quite powerful insights into how I originally got a schizophrenic break. I think insights into this could be a very positive thing to communicate in the future.

Right now though, the good thing is... "Sending love to people". I believed I should not do this previously, so I have reversed this. I am doing it with both people I have known personally and organisations and such. Not always with a clear cut agenda. Like, I believe the Law of One said that sending love to negative entities harms them in a sense. Reference sessions 25 and possibly 67. I also believe it is likely that sending positive energy to people you do get along with is mostly positive. Although, in some cases I explicitly don't do so. I think if you have an open, loving, normal relationship with someone. Artifically sending "love" is not necessarily a good thing. 

Results, are few, and internal. But good. The main positive one. I mentioned on my original post how my ability to create music has kind of taken a nose dive in the past few years. In a strong way, said musical 'flow' returned. Not in making new music, but in playing old. It is true indeed I believe, that in order to connect with certain half finished previous songs. Sending love and light IS important. 

I do feel that it is a big thing, a big insight I have had and I am expecting ongoing positive things. I just want to quote this first to explain one of the things I don't think is right about 'sending love':

This woman talks a lot, directly opposing the non violence beliefs of Christianity and any other single thing that is non violent. She seems very high IQ. She provides a very good counterweight to articulate opposing arguments to the validity of certain spiritual ideas, I think. 

I've thought through her opinions at various times, internally, as I go through my various experiences in relation to spirituality. 

But, I want to oppose this one here. Sending love and light to a person does NOT, in my view, mean that you see them as more positive than you did before. Or that you would be less equipped to deal with conflict with them (in my case this is emotional conflict).

In general. When sending love and light to others. I get insights in general into my connections with them. This is simple things, but powerful things. Things such as: 'Oh, of course this person would have this perspective on the situation'. In a sense, I find that I am more able to let them go with these insights. It is folly to assume a certain thing will definitely cause a certain result. Sending love and light to someone does not automatically mean that I wish to never harm a hair on their head (perhaps this is the case with women and a more maternal love!) It might be shortened in a sense to 'attention'. And giving attention to something tends to reveal its truth. Rather than dictate a certain direction. 

I seriously think that this mental change for me will create real life changes as time goes on. The music insight alone is extremely powerful!

Anyway, onto our next subject here. This might not be relevant but I'm just posting it since it got to me a bit:

 

I made an article angry at this but then deleted it. '10 days' is a significant date in the Q communities and people were retweeting this. The Q communities are very used to false starts and disappointments. But they still will give it another weak shot. It's kind of annoying in a sense because a lot of people are suffering and holding out hope. 

Donald Trump had a statement today, and this man, Stephen Miller, was part of that statement. Was it of groundbreaking importance? I don't know, time will tell. It is not significant in the same way a mass arrest of Democrats including the Clintons would be significant. But it might still be significant.

Stephens announcement was that he has found corruption and lies within the reporting of crime statistics in Washington D.C. For me, I have always thought the mechanisms of gaining statistics is one of the best manipulation tactics of our politicians and neo liberal elite. If you don't know what a problem is, you can't address it. It was not crime statistics specifically that made me catch onto this. 

The characterisation of villainy.

The mentalist: 

I've been thinking, in general recently, as I watch a LOT of TV. (Being unemployed and of ill health). About the way these shows characterise negativity in general. Sort of like, crime or evil. 

In the Mentalist. a cop show but focused on a protagonist that uses mental tricks to solve crimes. The show focuses, for FAR too long in my view. On chasing a serial killer who has started off a kind of cult and has a lot of supporters. Hidden supporters. 

In almost all of the episodes of this show where a supporter is caught, they turn out to be the most mundane person that you could imagine. A therapist, a policeman, some guy on the board of a charity or something. The character will be all normal, and then when they are cornered completely shift: "I serve Red John". 

It makes me wonder about the nature of evil. I would expect a certain 'eliteness' to malevolence. But truly, is this the case? Anyone you talk to who has worked with victims of severe physical abuse, will tell you that it is quite common, and quite severe. People all over the world are going home and beating their kids half to death. Child trafficking is a big problem in the west. 

If that is the case, if it is not just 'the elite' doing these things, if the numbers are large, many of us could have interacted with some truly evil people, unawares. 

Though, it is not in that same style. It is not people that get a glaze over their eyes and start telling you about something as evil, and unambiguous, as their worship of a serial killer. 

One thing that springs to mind is the sudden aggressive physical opposition of ICE even when they are attempting to deport, sometimes, people that have violated children. But in a lot of cases serious criminals. It is difficult to strongly connect people with left wing beliefs from the genocidal chaos that is leftism as it gets more pure. A lot of left wing policies, if you try and communicate them to others, you won't be believed. Even their own supporters don't understand these things. 

But the pattern is kind of there all the same. The AWFUL's being arrested by ICE are the most normal people that you would hope to meet! 

Breaking Bad:

The world of criminality, is one that I do not have any experience of. I wonder sometimes how much I am being educated about real criminality when I watch these shows. How much is just completely incorrect and made up. Breaking Bad, when I watched it, really gave me a feel I was looking into some very educated information about how said criminal world works. 

A lot of inside information about how to make Meth. In one scene Jessie, who has experience in the criminal underworld, says to Walter: "Why are we here? This is like a non drug dealers idea of where a drug deal should be. We should have gone to the mall". Then when the drug dealer they are dealing with meets them he says "Why are we out here homie? Was the mall closed?"

Person of Interest;

A new gem I have found. I don't think it is as popular as the previous two. I am not that far through it. But so far it is a professional show. 

In Person of Interest, there is a group of corrupt cops. The reasoning behind one of the senior members makes a great deal of sense. He said that he liked one of the new up and coming criminals because he "keeps a low profile and he greases the right wheels". To him, for the police to control an entire territory is too much work. Too unpredictable. To have a criminal that is reasonably civilised doing it. This makes sense in strange, structured, cop logic. 

One of the things I also wondered about in this show was that this 'up and coming' criminal was a bit like a Wall Street Guy. Extremely intelligent. The kind of person that would get more money in stocks than controlling the streets. It is another thing I wonder. Do these people really exist in the criminal world? 

Going the other way

The other way this could work is looking at real criminal things and seeing if they correlate with the show. 

In one of these shows. there was a person going around killing single parents. When investigated, this turned out to be that they were not in fact single parents before they were killed. The children were falsified after they die so an individual could claim to have adopted the children and receive money for this. 

Well, let us look at a real situation like this. The daycare fraud in Minnesota. In the show, this was all a very refined event. Full of complex maneouvering and generally smart, high IQ, people. The Somalian fraud is not that. The Minnesota fraud is very unsophisticated. It was discovered by a 23 year old youtuber driving around different daycares having a look. 

I don't know if there is this incredible refinement to negativity. Evil is, in a lot of cases, incredibly lazy. It's excuses are often made on the fly and they are ridiculously easy to see through. I can't remember where I heard this, perhaps in some analysis of Lord of the Rings. But there is an incredibly reliable, "disgusting" aspect to evil. 

And, not evil but negativity in general. Crime, drugs, sexual degeneracy of various intensities. There is a LOT of it. If it ever does start to be handled. It does seem to be at the moment. Perhaps we will get a clearer image of what it is.