"Losing my religion" again.

I have something to say, and to say it, I have decided I am going to have to be honest about personal things. The reason being that the trouble with trying to talk around things and using terms such as 'medical issue' without being specific. Is it just creates quite a bit of confusion. 

This post is about my attempts, my unsuccessful attempts, to follow the Law of One in my own life. What I am learning from the fact that I have held this teaching in a high regard, and now am getting to the point where my life seems to be moving in another direction. 

Here is a quote that I have been trying to follow for a while:

Questioner: I have a little question I will throw in at this point from Jim. I will read it. The instrument’s physical complex is now in the process of recovery from taking a chemical. She was ignorant of the opening that she was creating. How can each of the three of us present be more aware of how such openings may be created in our actions and thoughts? Is it possible that we could make such openings innocently as we question in certain areas during these sessions? And then, what can we do to protect ourselves from distorting influences in general? Is there any ritual or meditation that we use?

Ra: I am Ra. Although we are in sympathy with the great desire to be of service exemplified by this question, our answer is limited by the distortion of the Way of Confusion. We shall say some general things which may be of service in this area.

Firstly, when this instrument distorted its bodily complex towards low vital energy due to this occurrence, it was a recognizable substance which caused this. This was not a, shall we say, natural substance nor was the mind/body/spirit complex enough aware of its distortion towards physical weakness. The natural ways of, shall we say, everyday existence in which the entity without the distortions caused by ingestion of strongly effective chemicals may be seen to be of an always appropriate nature. There are no mistakes, including the action of this instrument.

Secondly, the means of protection against any negative or debilitating influence for those upon the positive path was demonstrated by this instrument to a very great degree. Consider, if you will, the potentials that this particular occurrence had for negative influences to enter the instrument. This instrument thought upon the Creator in its solitude and in actions with other-self, continually praised and gave thanksgiving to the Creator for the experiences it was having. This in turn allowed this particular entity to radiate to the other-self such energies as became a catalyst for an opening and strengthening of the other-self’s ability to function in a more positively polarized state. Thus we see protection being very simple. Give thanksgiving for each moment. See the self and the other-self as Creator. Open the heart. Always know the light and praise it. This is all the protection necessary.

The relevant part of this quote is in the first paragraph where it says: 'The natural ways of being without ingestion of these chemicals is always appropriate'. What I perceive it to be saying, is that God created us as we are. That being is perfect. So to truly believe that, to have access to our real selves. We should not be taking chemicals to change the way we are. This example was LSD. So, we might think in this case it is a person that doesn't see themselves as spiritual enough thus takes something to inspire that feeling. 

A couple of months ago. I became very clear on this guidance and followed it. Every day I did three things and I did not do either chocolate or alcohol. Despite chocolate and caffeine being a very light chemical for some. For me it has a huge effect. I had two bars in one day a week or so ago and stayed up almost the whole night. 

So, no chocolate, no alcohol. Prayer, meditation and music every day; and it was GLORIOUS. 

Icarus and the Sun. 

But then came the fall. 

To save money I temporarily cancelled my gym membership. I got so unbelievably stressed. So stressed. It was dangerous. I have acted in dangerous ways in accord with schizophrenic beliefs previously and I was close to that. I had to do something to get out of it, and I had chocolate and alcohol. I eventually got back to the gym. There were a few mishaps. 

After this very intense experience I was still committed to spiritual growth. I wanted to come off both of these. But, I had now changed what the rules are. The rules have changed from no alcohol and no chocolate except when there is an anxiety/ panic attack and meltdown. It's easier to stay off the substance if the rules are hard. No soft rule. So no 'alcohol in these situations'. Also, the anxiety in general is still an issue. 

But could I stay off chocolate? Alcohol I kind of gave up with after this. It's not much of a temptation either I can leave it. But could I stay off chocolate? Can I have deep sleep and mental clarity that comes with no caffeine?

Then enter my newest medical issue: Constipation. I said I would have to explain the issues directly in this section. 

What is very weird about this experience is how perfect it has all been timed. When I can't go to the toilet now. I go and buy a bar of chocolate. (I also have over the counter medication). Then I can go to the toilet. I am convinced that long term not going would be very bad for me and before I noticed this issue, I didn't go for several days. Another issue I get is going to the toilet and going a fraction of what I need to. 

I have tried everything. Before this issue arose I was already drinking caffeine free coffee (still a laxative, and a very effective one at earlier times that caused diarrhoea!), and prunes daily. Without chocolate, it doesn't seem to matter how much muesli I eat, I am still blocked. 

I have an issue that is perfectly calibrated to having chocolate be the only effective medication for. What are the odds seriously? This issue is extremely uncomfortable. 

Where does that leave the Law of One?

I am now in a place where the Law of One advises one thing. Admittedly to Carla, but it even laid out the principle. I am utterly unable to follow this one thing. 

It makes me realise, it makes me reflect. I am at a point of having to think this all through. 

What do I really believe? The thing with the Law of One is that it, in a small way, opposes how I actually make decisions according to the world and how I relate to it. The Law of One is "top down". When I make decisions, I think we often have to make them "bottom up". Rather than starting with an overarching idea, we should trial and error things out honestly. So... practically, how does chocolate and alcohol effect my life. 

In philosophy. This bottom up sort of thinking is called 'working from first principles'. As I just said, channeling in general but specifically the Law of One as it is very correct. But the process of taking information that is so top down opposes working from first principles. 

Dreams are somewhere between these two it seems to me. You often get the principle but the meaning for the principle at the same time. 

Also, I am considering this all in a healing light. According to the principles mentioned in the Law of One, Louise Hay and things such as German New Medicine. 

If I have constipation, what is it that I need to let go of? There are a few different things it could be. I have already started thinking of it and deleting documents. But it might literally be the Law of One itself. 

Not definitely but maybe. There are a lot of things it could be. 

I would ditch the Law of One in a heartbeat if it meant I could make better music and that I felt that was 'Gods plan' for me, so to speak.

Regardless. This is another crisis of faith for me. Another moment of losing my religion. Food for thought perhaps as to how other people experience life.    

The Q narrative and Dunning- Kruger.

This is where I am with things, considering that I talked about some mass arrest event being possible on June 14th (with appropriate linked Q proofs) and the same thing happens as normally happens with Q predictions... Nothing. 

I will take you through two personal reasons I believe in a Q narrative. Bear in mind this is certainly not exhaustive. Just the most recent evidence of this assertion. But I want to then highlight some problems with the Q narrative, and speculate about what the ultimate truth about this might be and most importantly. My ideal attitude towards it. 

Firstly, one of the Q proofs that really worked very positive for me and demonstrated a very positive psychological tool. Which I will explain. 

My calculation on the Eve of the American election was as follows:

1. Q doesn't exist, even though in theory I recalled proofs and I have the Law of One material I do believe in backing it up, there just wasn't enough objective evidence for Q.
2. Regardless of whether Q exists. The Deep State, from various proofs. DOES exist. The Previous US election WAS rigged. A lot of very negative people are in high positions of power. 
3. These people, represented by Kamala Harris, are very willing, fully supportive, of going to war against Russia for various reasons. 
4. It is pretty much inevitable that this US election will be rigged and we will go to war with Russia and die, or have our general quality of life massively decreased after this. 

I maintain that if Q didn't exist, this would be a CORRECT geo political breakdown. But in my view, Q does exist. At the eleventh hour it felt like, with so little evidence of Q for so long. In a very real way. Evidence of Q showed up in that positive forces pushed against the negative forces and Trump was elected:

Then, a successful Q decode. Showing that this was all predicted well in advance. I messaged skeptics directly with the above decode.  

Another more personal proof is a very personal one you only have my word for. Because like any true weirdo in these areas. I have deleted the meta data on every image I put on my blog. But I downloaded one single document from the JFK files. A few weeks later I took a screenshot to prove the date I downloaded this. This doesn't apply anymore. But when I took this screenshot it did:

The numbered document is the only document in the entire JFK document release that has mention of Q in it. "Q clearance". I downloaded this on the first day these came out. (According to me, proof is not being offered here).

Regardless of the fact there is no proof. For me this was very powerful. Out of the millions of documents I had to choose from and I jumped in amongst them at random. Jumping into the documents hundreds at a time (So I clicked into say, section 120, which would have about thirty documents in it. So 120*30 into the document stash). This was the only one I downloaded  

It only came out later via other Q promoting individuals on twitter the significance. 

Purpose/ Reason for this. 

There is a huge positive utility to this in my view. I am someone that does focus on this sort of information. I am not someone that has the self discipline to just go and do other things. I don't have much of a life to be honest. Disability/ health conditions in general. Have influenced that. 

The huge utility of the above explained process and beliefs is that it allows me to believe that a group called "Q" are handling the world. Furthermore, that I do not have to think of these things. That is massively positive. Not thinking of those things in general is very positive in general. I was an emotional wreck the few days before the US election and even before that as to my worries about war with Russia. No time to focus on reading, dream interpretation, health issues or many other more productive things in that mental space. 

The sliminess of Q.

It is however, not a healthy process to be dependent on clues and signs to the extent the modern Q community is. In the most recent flag day excitement. With quite a lot of bits of proof. The Q community on twitter were sure that mass arrests were going to start that day and they had convincing Q proofs to back that up. 

What is annoying though, about the Q community. Is the assumption that in a big complex matter such as international politics. We really know anything at all. 

I have, at times in my life, including recently, experienced Dunning Kruger. From the negative side. Being too stupid to realise I don't understand something. 

Dunning Kruger I think exists in a lot of places. Philosophy is one of the highest IQ disciplines there is. The reason I think this is is that people with high IQ are smart enough to understand that a lot of philosophical, and ethical issues, are complex and that they don't automatically understand them. But I think the reason a lot of the population doesn't respect philosophy is that they assume they understand those issues just by virtue of existing. People think... they are "right". To put it simply. Morals is one area where people have an unjust, in my view, faith that they are right. 

I don't know much about politics. But I do know enough to understand that I don't really know anything.

The recent Israel and Iran conflict had a lot of QAnon types, from the basis of "knowing" the world through conspiratorial means, announcing various things about the motivations of those involved. Although I did see one anti Iranian example. Most of the Q types seemed to be saying that Israel, that is the devil according to these people. Wants to distract the US military from mass arrests in the US by redirecting US troops to fighting Iran. 

This is a significant moral claim to make. This is a significant claim to geopolitical understanding. 

Personally. I can't even imagine what the real story is between Iran and Israel, even before we consider a lot of the things that Q believers generally believe are truth. Things like clones (which I am not commenting on either way).

I can't imagine who everyone is aligned with. What was really discussed between Russia and America about this before it happened. What intelligence is passing hands. What reason some completely fabricated events might have. (Which Q people often state is the case).

Through Israels multi decade complex history in the Middle East. With Iran's contradictory policies and internal troubles. I. Just. Don't. Know. The only time when I can get even a small handle on this is when I listen to someone that is genuinely learned in this area. 

Arrogance.

This is the arrogance of the QAnon group in general. In my view. I listened to a bit of Stefan Molyneux. A guy that just understands some stuff. Identifies himself as a non expert. 

What I do know a little about. What I should have based my decisions on. Is the human design. Like I mentioned on my youtube. There is a Q post that correlates with a powerful transit to the day. I think that is important. I can explain why that is important. I have a bit more knowledge on that. I really understand and feel the human design. 

I had no particular transits or original knowledge about why "Flag Day" might be significant. 

In general, it also seems to me that the Q team, since I am claiming they exist. Do not seem bothered about people getting the wrong ideas and decodes for messages they have put out. I just think that is interesting. 

So aside from the benefit of avoiding paranoia. I think that the Q information is best mostly ignored. it is not a health way of thinking either. It is not objective to be obsessed with weird decodes and patterns over the internet, and to assume we know anything at all about these complex and secretive matters.  

Comments on the Q narrative.

It's strange the Q narrative. It doesn't fit perfectly within my general theory of the world. Of the need to stay away from 'transcient' information as the Law of One advises. Of the need to build a worldview based on objective reality. 

But it is, to my belief, and in relation to powerful synchronicities. Very true. 

The fact that it is true is a fact that leads the conversation. It has priority. The question become less 'what is likely going to happen?' In relation to the news of astrology/ human design. The question becomes "What does Q say about what will happen?" That's where we start, and we put it together from there.

I have experienced a lot of doubt about the Q narrative. Doubts that have been completely undone as events have proven to be unpredictable using data points that reject Q. 

"Impossible to clean".

Some of the basic points are well shown here. 

The take away of Q is that we live in a world where a lot of very weird things are happening. That the conspiracy stuff is true. That healing and free energy technology is kept from us behind government classifications. That there are indeed extra terrestrials, both positive and negative, and humans likely have psychic powers as well. 

That the world we live in has been to a large extent controlled by the negative. That there is a positive group of military personnel that Q represents, and we are going to transition to a more positive world when the evildoers in power are overthrown. 

I have been sitting and thinking about how that happens occasionally. What I imagined is that Trump would change everything around to put in free market policies to, in a very slow way, change the society so that these things were slowly revealed. That the justice system has better workers and becomes more efficient. That the free market shows more innovation and we just kind of slip into a more positive place.

The narrative of the Q movement is that a lot of what has been happening has been unbelievably strategic. That the positive military personnel could stop a lot of the negatives behaviours. But that they are often allowing it to play out so that people gain more awareness. As an example, a lot of "normie" people were completely red pilled during the COVID lockdowns. 

The slow melt.

However, more recently, I have started to wonder if this is not actually particularly possible. The pure amount of corruption that has been revealed lately is staggering. Bear in mind that Elon's DOGE ONLY discovered the corruption in one single organisation. USAID. The corruption was massive. 

Not only is there a lot of corruption but there is a lot of true believers in the corrupt path. Diversity initiatives were stopped by President Trump a few days after he came into office. In America, these diversity initiatives are still happening just under another name. 

It has struck me that since we live in a world where more than 70% of the population is completely asleep to most of these facts. It seems that the long arduous path of slowly creating societal change might simply not be practical. This is to get even slight improvements. Such as the battle, on it's own, of getting people to stop DEI initiatives, does not even dent into preparing people for truths about negative extra terrestrials. 

June 14th.

President Trump has recently, on his Truth social and in many other places. Been pushing the Q narrative very, very hard. In a more obvious way than previously. 

A lot of what has been happening recently has a lot of direct discussion in the Q posts. Including exact names for things. 

One of the posts in that twitter link that I posted at the beginning, is post 36 of Q: Two excerpts:

"These are crumbs and you cannot imagine the full and complete picture"

"There is simply no other way than to use the military, it is that corrupt and dirty".

False predictions.

Being a follower of David Wilcock, a follower of Q and a follower of astrology. I am no stranger to false predictions. Predictions that go wrong. Where I was happy and prepared, and telling others something would happen and it didn't.  

This is possibly one of those times. But I hope, that this is a legitimate prediction.  

I recall reading Martin Geddes twitter and him saying that perhaps the reason a lot of things have happened is to prove to us that it CANNOT be done another way. he has campaigned on trying to get the UK law to acknowledge a lot of criminality he has uncovered, and has said that it is not possible. The justice system in the UK does not exist to serve the needs of the citizens in this regard. 

It is clear that there is nothing about the direction that the society is going that is improving. POTENTIALLY Trump could modify America's economy into a better place slowly. But, aside from even that being slow, it is only one country. It is also more likely to be a fast change that is needed. 

It is also possible that what the Q people think is going to happen. Namely, an arrest, by the military, of the "deep state", and a possible "ten days of darkness" as we are sitting in our homes with documentaries about the true nature of our society. Is, in fact, the thing that is going to happen.  

It seems to me that brainwashing such as it is can only be broken suddenly like that.

But we'll see how it goes. If this is the case, then this might be the last "normal" day we have for a while. I intend to enjoy it! 

Transits and Q Tard stuff.

So, some human design transits:

In the human design. The sun stays in a certain hexagram for just under 6 days. This is the transit currently:

 

And this has been the transit from about three days ago:

 

While that transit was happening. Firstly, we had all the drama with Russia and Ukraine. The second we actually entered the gate 35.1 this turned up. The point of gate 36 is I think where a lot of the destruction of the cabal is happening. The transiting North Node is in there at the moment. This was also relevant to previous difficulties in the financial system with a problem with the Yen Carry trade. Threatening the whole system when Mars went into the gate 36 just after Neptune had left.

This is where I think the war stuff we have just experienced came from astrologically. I do NOT think it came from Saturn and Neptune in Aries as many people think. 

The channel 36-35. Channeling the emotional intensity is a very crappy energy. When the sun hit gate 35.5, we saw the Elon and Trump argument. 

When the Sun crossed into gate 45. Elon deleted those tweets and the problem faded away. Then we had Trump talking about his coming parade and dealing with the riots in LA. This is a suddenly more regal and less accessible thing. Which completely fits with the gate 45. 

Going full Q Tard.

 

There does seem to be some evidence. That the Q narrative might be happening now in the form of mass arrests. Sources here, here and here.  

My dreams seemed to have correlated with this to a small extent. I mentioned this recently although did not give the symbology. A lot recently, a few recent dreams. I have had moments where I cross a bridge and everything changes. Everything changes symbolically in a way relevant to mass social change. It is not to do with crossing a bridge per sey. But even standing on it. One time as I walked over the bridge the entire scene changed. 

With the recent war stuff in Russia. Ukraine destroyed four bridges from civilian trains and I wondered if that was relevant to said imagery. 

Another astrological thing of interest. One of the things I have personally found in separating myself from 'transcient' material. (Obviously this is transcient. The reason I talk about it is that it has all come together and I do believe in Q. I do NOT deeply research a lot of this stuff though.)

Anyway, in coming away from transcient material. I went meta into this kind of conspiracy material earlier in my life. In 2014 I had a schizophrenic break and had to stop meditating or doing anything to provoke the madness within, so I threw myself into outer things such as conspiracy. I calculated, that the place this material was represented was transiting Uranus. As it went over my first house Jupiter, it seemed to deposit that madness in that place. So I was facing the world only through conspiracy and obviously, a lot of people disliked me because of this. 

This was in 2017. On 28th of October 2017, we had the first Q post when Uranus was at 26'11 Aries. What I think this represents is the people that were engaged in Q at the time. This has obviously become a bit of a wound for people because a lot of the Q posts stated things that didn't happen and appeared, according to current understanding of the Q-munity, to have been timed for later events. 

Chiron is now transiting that same position in Aries. On the coming Thursday, it will transit Aries 26'11. I think that is significant. And that would read as a healing of that same point. So possibly, all the Q people that felt bad from getting predictions wrong would feel wounded form that in 2017 and the Q prophecies and clues coming right this time around could be very healing for such people. 

Of course it might not work out. But I thought this was interesting anyway. Thoughts on these transits. 

Even on a basic political and sociological level. The idea that Trumps government would really handle a lot of rioting illegals would be quite the change. There is a current paradigm where the left simply don't get punished when they do bad things. This would signal, on a tribal level, that that time is really over. I think that is exciting! 

The utility of the term narcissism.

So continuing on from my last post then.

My first post was a broad brushstroke stating that evil exists, and some other relevant quotes in the Law of One. "Evil exists but sometimes it's best not to acknowledge it" perhaps. 

Then, my next post was the case against Narcissism. What is the justification for it sometimes being a kind of made up term that is simply used to excuse normal social behaviour?

This post though is about the case for narcissism. The positive use of the terms used in these communities. 

The information baseline.  

Let's think of a person like Dr Ramani. I think her output is very typical of the kind of person and audience that talks about this material. 

Dr Ramani has a great deal of information out there. A video a day. I learned a lot from her. It was the first place I heard of terms such as 'triangulation'. HOWEVER, there is a distinct pro female leaning to her work. She has said before that she thinks there are more male than female narcissists even though, according to her, the data doesn't support that. She has said that she believes Trump is a narcissist. She also came out with a video once about how right wing people are more likely to be narcissists and got ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED in the comments. Apparently, most people think it is actually liberals that are more narcissistic. She removed that video. This was a good moment. 

I have also seen from her that she kind of has a 'believe all women' approach. She noted that she had a situation with a "narcissist" and it annoyed her that people didn't automatically believe her but exercised some discernment. To me, this is a fact of life. If you have a complaint, you can be sure that someone has lied about the same complaint. There are a lot of false victims about. 

I put something like this as a comment. I said even though I would likely tend to believe her if I knew her, narcissists themselves always play the victim. So a person should not expect to be automatically believed. This comment was deleted and I distinctly wondered at the time if Dr Ramani herself, is actually narcissistic. 

However, there is a lot that can be learned about this type of person by watching her. What are the complaints of this kind of community, and the part of it that is for lack of a better term 'female supremacist'. 

Many of the complaints she seems to bring up are things that I think a more male lead environment would naturally sort out. A lot of tough men are very big on justice types of concerns. I recall she told this story about dealing with an older guy who kept putting his tools in the kitchen. The wife was not allowed to have a single thing out of place. But this old guy put a heavy toolbox in the kitchen that most people couldn't lift. The story concludes with Dr Ramani being super delicate with the guy via asking questions and getting the toolbox moved.

Two tough workmen coming into that house and the situation would be much different, and it wouldn't happen. To be frank. You can imagine these 6ft muscly workmen. "Yo Bart, why you got this big heavy toolbox in the kitchen? What's it doing in there you building a bunker or summink?" Maybe they would just pick it up and move it. 

Just the amount of directness that guys habitually use would sort this kind of issue out. Guys like that direct confrontation. Strategically calculated. And the old guy would be physically slightly intimidated as well.  

I have heard many, many stories about how groups of men, about how the way men do things. Shortcusts a lot of these kind of narcissistic types of problems. Situations that, in my own personal life, did not happen. My group of guy friends when I was young, was not able to handle these sorts of behaviours. I attribute that to the feminisation of absolutely everything. 

Philosophy of these things. 

I think that most people that are destined to do intellectual discovery. Thinking things through, articulating things as to the meaning of life. All have a way of handling things that makes sense to them. That life is pushing them to use to solve, and that when they do, things click into place.

One example of one of these knowledge systems is Stefan Molyneux and Philosophy. One of the types of problems that Dr Ramani's types of groups would fret over is when you are in a bad situation with some kind of abuser. You leave that abuser and go no contact. Then everyone around you gives you ridiculous platitudes and tries to get you to 'forgive' the abuser. This is one of the things that Dr Ramani's types of people would watch multiple videos about and get very emotional about the confrontation. 

The way someone like Stefan Molyneux would handle this is as he has talked about in fdr podcast 5944, "the moral relativism of Neitzsche". He would say to them. This is kind of paraphrased. Not exact wording. But close enough:

11:35: "OK, who was in the right and who was in the wrong? If my friend says Bob was in the right. I would say, why did you not help me understand that earlier?  If he says, Bob was in the wrong, I tried to talk about it with him and I couldn't resolve it. Then how is that, holding a grudge? It's making a decision based upon reasonable, moral absolutes. If they won't take a side, I would say, that's kind of important right? If someone is judging you as being morally deficient for holding a grudge, then have them spell out their moral reasons. 

I have used this kind of thinking before in my own life. There are certain people that just have this assumption they have the moral high ground and if you talk about anything they disapprove of they will just go quiet, with the assumed reality you are kind of childlike. But after a lot of energy put towards it and articulation. I was able to articulate how it is in fact them that are morally deficient.  To challenge them. That felt GOOD. 

The point here as it relates to narcissism. Is that if you can reason out all these things to outmanouever people in general. Morally deficient, passive aggressive people. Then it casts some doubt on whether you need the term narcissism at all no? 

It may be that this kind of thinking is not open to Dr Ramani types of people and followers. Because they might be left wing kind of conformist types of people. But, in terms of how to practically handle these things I think it is an important thing to consider. 

The real use of the term narcissist. 

The term narcissist is not exclusively used by social media influencers with the depth of a puddle. Abuse dynamics and terminology are sometimes used in terms of really vicious unpleasant behaviour. Scrolling down narcissism themes group on the internet will sometimes bring both a girl that complains her boyfriend is a narcissist because he is talking to another girl on his facebook, and another one that says her ex broke her bones in three places and put her in a coma. 

But more reliably devastating is the many people talking about parents that are abusive and narcissistic. 

The essential point is. What is the point of language? The point of language is to communicate concepts. But it can never do that with as much preciseness as we would like. The point of the word narcissism/ psychopath and many others has become to describe evil. Evil is something that exists with us. But that can never properly be described or even comprehended. Evil is just lies upon lies mostly. So we never have a real idea of what we are facing when we face it. 

The terms in the abuse communities are important because they do describe some sort of reality that many of us experience. Without the term narcissism and other linked terms. There is a lot about the dynamics of how manipulators work that would likely remain hidden and would retain it's manipulative power. 

The term 'flying monkey'. Which refers to people that are slavish to the narcissist for no clear reason. Is one that is very useful. Very relevant in how dominance heirarchies form and like I say, needed to understand the situation. 

For me, subjectively, this kind of thinking still has relevance. When I am thinking through the karmic response to peoples own actions, so that I do not try and save them. The concept of a flying monkey is very relevant. Those that ceaselessly enable evildoers. 

Also, for me, a lot comes down to the human design chart. I have identified specific positions. Such as things that relate to my natal Chiron, as highly relevant to this concept. 

It sucks, like I said, the term has now become misused and is often used by the kind of evildoers it should be applied to. But because a bunch of people misapply a term does not mean there is not anything legitimate there, only that it has been articulated badly.  

The case against narcissism.

Ok, so when I started talking about narcissists a couple of posts ago. I am going to summarise what I would have said now. I was planning this to be a very complex post. But it will be simple. Partly this is because I have changed my mind on the destination of my thoughts on this concept. Which I will also explain. 

So here are my thoughts against narcissism. I am going to start with a little red pill theory, to describe how normal interactions might be classified as 'narcissism', which I might end with this post. My perspective is that it is a term that is often well applied and I might go into that in another post. 

"The case against narcissism"

Firstly, in this world is it possible, theoretically, for a concept to become very popular. Have a lot of information produced about it from different creators. A lot supporting it. But it actually is a complete destructive fabrication?

Well of course. For two reasons. One is that if you start a business giving evildoers a justification for their actions and even increased social power (I'm looking at you Christianity!) you will never be out of work. You will never be out of money even. 

But also, there's a part of it that is just plain delusion. 

One of the areas I have experienced times of pushing against absolutely stubborn illusion. When you can explain something well and the person simply repeats their same point ignoring you. Is when arguing red pill concepts. This is because, I suspect, a true explanation of the mechanics involved, who went wrong and where, is not convenient for certain peoples moral highgrounds. 

So let's go to red pill, and let us consider a girl who ends up believing her ex is a "narcissist"

 

The problem comes because of the image on the right. Women will, en mass, only date the top men if they can. Those top men will tend to sleep with women and move through them quickly. Whereas the bottom men only get ignored. 

So here we have what is roughly called alpha and beta. 

A lot of women think that if they sleep with an alpha male they will be able to change him. They will not clarify that the relationship is a relationship but instead believe it to be the real thing, even though it has been classified as a "situationship". 

There is a lot more that goes into this. My original post I wanted to go through each "symptom of narcissism" that is often talked about on these videos and reason as to why this dynamic shows up. 

For instance, the idea of love bombing might simply be that guys are excited and want to be with the girl and so they say what is necessary to say. Often, for a pick up artist. Women are somewhat formulaic. As Michael Sartain talks about; he knows that if he takes guys and puts them through his program which includes a lot of exercise and posting on social media like instagram (women obsess over social media and if you do that you can get them checking up on you all the time and fantasizing). Michael knows that if he puts his clients through these programs women will give themselves up easily to said clients. 

But there is an issue here. Often, what he says happens to his clients. Is that after the social media posts and such, demonstrations of leadership and all the other things that make women conceed to their carnal mind. When they do this of course. What he describes often happens is that the girl, that Michaels client usually has known for a while. Just throws herself at him. Partly because he has now shown value, she knows other girls will be into him, and she wants to lock him down.

She has though, given up sex for no agreed return transactionally. This is not happening within a relationship. Michaels client then often has been through the program enough to get a lot of female attention and moves on, and is usually not that interested in this girl. 

She will often then go on social media calling him a "narcissist".  

This is the kind of dynamic that I suspect we are looking at a lot when the term "narcissism" comes in. A lot of the things women complain about are within this hypothetical. The "love bombing" is just the formulaic stuff to get womens attention. Another thing they talk about is that when the guy moves on he does so quickly and doesn't give her 'closure' or anything like that. They don't like seeing him on social media quickly after with a new girl. 

Because she was probably boring, and probably irrational. Girls, in general, have no game. They don't think about how to make themselves more attractive. A lot of them expect princess treatment and this is where that will often end. Because if you actually expect princess treatment as a real world manifestation. You will probably shoot way out of your league. If you shoot way out of your league the person won't stick around.

The beta "narcissists" 

Also consider something else. The amount of effort one of the people on the lower rung of this heirarchy has to put in to get a girlfriend. I have seen this up close. The amount of pain this has caused. Interestingly, and I feel I should reflect on this side of my own psyche. I have never had those kinds of feelings towards a girl. Like, despair and whatnot at not having a girl, even in a dry spell. But, I have seen it. Some guys live like the tortured immortal god Chiron, you would think, the torment will never end the way they respond to this situation. Forever suffering because of the splinter inside them causing daily agony. 

Currently, 50% of 18-30 year old men haven't had sex in the last year. Many of these are virgins and have never even had a date. So, this is a serious thing for them. They are at a point many of them where they will have to put in serious effort to get a girl. Whether that be going to a PUA or something else. For these guys, they cannot "be themselves". They will have to be someone else, have to use some underhand technique most likely, to get and retain a woman. To have children. 

A Better Bachelor video recently showed a man who swiped two million times and only got one match.

There are likely other parts of 'narcissism' that can be found in these. The guy that has gone to PUA's or money to get the girl, all this stuff about not bringing up conflicts because they want to stay in the relationship and "torture" the woman. Is probably simply that he is afraid of losing her. The novelty of a woman in this position, for many men, and a statistically large number, is ridiculously over emphasized. They become these queenly, princess creatures. But at the same time often hated. Because the female rejection came first. 

All this stuff to do with 'supply'. Or 'covert narcissism'. 

Other things. 

There are many words used in the narcissism literature and content creation. Triangulation. Projection. Gaslighting etc. Some of them are... simply evil. And only belong in the discussion of real abusive dynamics. I will come to this. But a lot of these things, are either a bit suspicious or, seem to me, that they have been misused. 

One I find suspicious, and have always found suspicious, is the "discard". I used to know someone that was "trouble". One day he "discarded" me, in the friendship capacity. Metaphorically it was like a knife out of my side. If someone is literally abusing another person, the abuser 'discarding' their target should bring nothing but relief. The fact that he is then on instagram with another chick should not cause upset. That makes no sense. It only makes sense if there is something the woman desires in the man, in which case, the term "narcissism" is just a tool for control. It is subconsciously trying to shame in order to compel preferred behaviour.

And one of the 'on the fence' sort of terms is "gaslighting". I, believe I have been gaslit very carefully, very skillfully, by a group of people. A lot of these girls out here are calling pretty much anything less than telling the exact truth to women on command gaslighting. If someone gives a reason or excuse it is "gasllighting". 

The term gaslighting was coined from a film called 'gaslight' where a man sets up illusions in a house to convince the woman she is mad. This is what gaslighting is. It is a term of abuse that includes the deliberate attempt to undermine anothers reality to convince them they are mad. To not allow them to trust their own instincts and enslave them to the commands and perspective of others in absence of said instincts. 

Lying is not gaslighting.  

Also, let's talk about the hoover.;

Guy goes through a process with a woman to get to sleep with her. He lovebombs her at first because he read a PUA book. Decides he doesn't want anything to do with her he can't be honest with the girl, A) because it started off with a non virtuous aim. B) Women don't reward honesty. If he gives her concrete things she is doing she will likely come for him, go for his reputation in a bad way because she can't save face. Women do not like being rejected. This is why a lot of guys act bad and get the girl to dump them.

But whatever the situation. When he "hoovers", is this a complex psychological abuse dynamic? Or is he on a dry spell and wants to smash? Is that true narcissism? Why does everything have to be made into an emotional thing?  

Pearls of Wisdom. 

I watched a Pearl Davis live the other day and she absolutely, absolutely destroyed a lot of female reasons for doing things. When they say x they mean y sort of thing. It was a true massacre of female excuses. 

This on a woman making a video on "detachment". 

15:25:  "Translation, I was trying to control a man who was cheating on me or did things I didn't like, and now I have to make a video on detachment".

Holy crap! You know, I have absorbed a lot of spiritual teachings in my life and I wonder after hearing this explanation if this is mostly made for excuses and spiritual bypassing for dysfunctional women? 

37:14: Women, we just want so badly these guys [Picture of super attractive muscular guys and celebrities] to act like these guys [picture of a beta] and they just never will, and that creates angry women. 

Female responses to the red pill:

I said earlier that there is a possibility of whole industries being created in opposition to reality. The red pill reality as I have described it is pretty well baked in with a lot of statistics and data, such as dating app data. Women tend to go for the top small percentage of guys, say 5 - 10% or less. Those guys are then packed with options. Because they have a hundred options they tend to treat the girls like dirt. The girls end up being hurt and a lot of them coming out with 'all men are trash' types of opinions. 

So you have close to 100% of women doing this potentially. Probably a lot less, let us say 80%. This dynamic will effect the women badly because if they were to not have gone out of their league and to have gone for their looksmatch, (most people are average), they would not be bitter from loads of experience. They would statistically more likely stay married. They will not have to lie to their partner about their body count. He will not have to compete with her past of alpha males. She will not be 'damaged' and 'traumatised' from her abusive relationship. She would be more likely to settle down and have kids early before her fertility runs out. 

This is a discussed red pill point. The 5-10% of top guys, this situation is working for them. If and when they do want to settle down. They just pick a chick and settle down. Statistically, a guy who sleeps around a lot has no difference in likelihood of divorce. So the behaviour of these guys is not changeable. 

The women however, are ruining their lives a lot of the time. There is a case to be made for making them aware of these facts, and to bring social shaming, as we used to have. This is why sexual shaming of women existed. 

But every so often, despite the fact this has been explained ad verbatim, women will come out with takes such as "all these guys shaming women for sleeping around, why don't you look in your OWN house first and stop the men from sleeping around".

You mean, the 90% of men who aren't sleeping around a whole lot? In practice, this is what almost all female sexual shaming does. The top guys can't be shamed, if you tell them how to behave they will ditch you. The constant venom women have about pornography and the male sex drive in general is directed at the 90% that don't deserve it, and probably have a body count many times lower than the women doing the shaming. 

It is like how the left still do not recognise that Kyle Rittenhouse was defending himself as the courts have ruled. It doesn't really matter. They just say it again. They just come out again about how the right shot innocent protesters or something.  

Feminist/ Tradcon: "All these guys shaming women for sleeping around, why don't you look in your OWN house first and stop the men from sleeping around". 

Red pill: "Well, actually that isn't really practical because it's a small number that can't be changed and it isn't working against their self interest. Look at these statistics. Whereas it is working directly against womens interest"

Feminist Tradcon: .... ..... ....

Feminist Tradcon: "All these guys shaming women for sleeping around, why don't you look in your OWN house first and stop the men from sleeping around". 

The point is is that there is just a huge glut of the population. Probably both genders but on this issue mostly one gender. That just walk in lockstep and pick what they would prefer to believe. Not what is true; and are incredibly resistant to any counter narrative even if it is clearly true. 

I wonder how much of the narcissist literature is just the narrative and support that these women have promoted, against men just acting normally against circumstances and often not having done anything bad at all.  

The health of non objective beliefs.

This Elon and Trump argument.

I want to link it to my thoughts on mysticism that I started on. In relation to the answer to Stefan Molyneux video. 

I have said before on youtube notes that there is some potential crossover between the Q phenomena and beliefs in mysticism in general. That being that in mysticism, the person generally perceives themselves as gaining hints from another realm. Be that through astrology, mediumship, tarot etc. Q, of course, is a similar thing, just with a little more real world reality to it. In theory. There are entities in another realm (classified military) that are sending hints. Q posts. 

There is a question here, for me, about how healthy this way of thinking is EVEN IF it is in fact correct. Let us say, that the Q narrative is completely correct. That there is a military group that decided to keep moral up amongst their adherents by leaving cryptic clues on 4chan. 

Well, it leaves the person paying attention to this stuff in a very strange position. When something happens in the real world. Do they trust their rational senses? Their perception of reality as most of us see it? Or do they rely on the interpretation of cryptic clues? 

I also think that someones mental state may play a big part in this. When I was unwell and not able to exercise. Constantly stressed. The Q stuff seemed completely fine to me, I was also motivated to get enough back up for this perspective by going on hours long podcasts about it every day. But now that I'm more healthy, and ESPECIALLY today, the day after one of the best gym sessions I have ever had (arms, and going to failure!)

I just can't. Elon and Trump are arguing. ALL of twitter apparently is saying that it is. I just can't, within myself. Indulge the idea that this is some sort of mega 4D chess. My mentality has just become too aware of everyday reality to indulge that. 

I have had a MEGA sychronicity. Breathtaking. Personal. To back up Q, and I have seen many pretty amazing proofs. But my brain, as tired and grounded as I am apparently becoming. Still can't actually indulge the idea this is anything other than some sort of legitimate feud amongst the two!

It reminds me of the quote from the Law of One which I cannot find. But I am sure is there: The light can conceal as well as reveal. 

Analysing a blockage.

I wanted to talk through the 'blockage' I am experiencing here. Not because I massively feel I 'owe' the readers anything in particular since the blog and youtube channel are not paid. But, within me, it is important to keep an outlet for the metaphysical ideas I discuss. It will give increased clarity to discuss this on the blog. 

This is the excerpt from a youtube post I have that made me really question my own sanity. When I read it back to myself it sounds kind of crazy, or it did the other day. I understand it a little more now. It appears my moods are controlling me a bit much:

I will not even say which planet or experience this was. But recently, I had a deep emotional experience. I realised my emotions had played my thoughts like a puppet for many years, a clear emotional route has been inspiring what I have been engaging in as "thinking". Insights have come in stages. I had this insight, that is obviously a long time coming, within a day of a very specific longer term transit. Mad stuff. A very intense experience and realisation.

I cannot recall precisely what this was, but I think what it was is that I have only just recently learned, had the personal insight, that philosophy is extremely important to me. I recall recently hearing some definitions, some thing I am thinking through from having heard them on youtube videos, that are really effecting me positively.

With someone like me so excessively cerebral. Having the language to articulate my inner world is extremely important. 

Looking back on my life this has obviously been an insight that has been waiting in the wings for years. Like I have heard others say, often when I have an insight I feel a little upset at the amount of positively I could have experienced if I had the insight earlier. But the insight only happens now. EXACTLY as Saturn is sitting on the same hexagram that represents that point in my chart.

My conscious North Node, that I believe represents philosophy, is at gate 25.6:

 

There are things of note here in that the gate 25 doesn't have a link to the throat. I believe the energy always travels upwards from below the throat. The energy cannot travel 25 -> 51.

Anyway, my point is here, an insight I had into the transit of Saturn, was rephrased in a way that kind of supported a kind of overthinking I do and furthermore, confused me. Perhaps just having stated this exactly would have made more sense and my need for privacy is a little at fault here. 

I am trying to improve my overall psychology by doing something that is massively needed. That is going to the gym. It is very important I go to the gym and when I don't go, in the times before I need to go, I experience a kind of dizzying discomfort and subtle anger. I need to go now in fact. I normally go two days when I can, when some health issue hasn't stopped me going. Yesterday I did not want to risk my back after a harder workout Monday evening. So I will go this evening. 

I am hoping going regularly will improve my psychology enough for me to be more comfortable and coherent in my output. I am hoping long term it simply changes my psychology. But we'll see how it goes. 

Closing up "thoughts on narcissism".

Yep, just as the title says. 

My mind just did this 'dissolving' thing again. I just looked at my youtube community posts and realise how schizophrenic I sound. 

I have a few thoughts on fixing my own predicament. I don't know why I keep forming these super intense ideas about things. Whole structured articles. Then having it all just dissolve on me.

I think, a long term improvement in personal habits including going to the gym might help. But we'll see. 

I also think perhaps I should be recognising the human design. I.e. as a Splenic Manifestor. According to the system I should only really do things spontaneously. So no long connected articles like this.

We'll see how it goes. Apologies if any readers actually thought any thoughts I have on narcissism would be interesting. 

Thoughts on Narcissism. Part 1: Real evil.

So, This is part one of what I think will be a long 6 or 7 part series. As already explained in the introduction.  

As already stated, it is going to explore the theme of narcissism and how applicable it is in society. The first two parts, this one and the next one, are going to be in support of the general theme. The following parts after that are going to look at the sociology of society. What might be considered collective delusions and the motivations people have for holding them. That might cast doubt on the legitimacy of this claim. 

There is a lot of variation in the abuse community and, I will state clearly. There are a lot of very evil people walking about. The abuse community has explanations of some behaviours that are then taken and misused by others. Such as the term gaslighting. Which, originally was about a person that very deliberately attempts to drive another person mad through cunning deception. Making them doubt their own reality, for strategic ends such as having them committed and claiming money. The term though, by some has been expanded to include pretty much any attempt at evasion or clarification when they are accused of something (hence "threatening the other persons reality").

However, there is also a strain of people that are really seeking support for genuine evil and abuse committed upon them. This can be a little strange sometimes. Reading through Quora, you will read someone that is committed to believing their partner is a narcissist because they talked to someone on facebook. So, jealousy really. Then you will, in basically the next post, read a post by a woman that disagreed with her husband and had her bones broken in three places. 

So let's talk about "evil". This concept might be discussed later, such as when I discuss confusion people get into which makes them think their partner is a narcissist when it is just a normal person. I wonder if sometimes people legitimate adaption to bad circumstance are behaviours that are non positive. 

To get a clear understanding of this I am going to include a couple of quotes from my spiritual base, the Law of One:

Ra: The entity polarizing positively perceives the anger. This entity, if using this catalyst mentally, blesses and loves this anger in itself. It then intensifies this anger consciously in mind alone until the folly of this red-ray energy is perceived not as folly in itself but as energy subject to spiritual entropy due to the randomness of energy being used.

Positive orientation then provides the will and faith to continue this mentally intense experience of letting the anger be understood, accepted, and integrated with the mind/body/spirit complex. The other-self which is the object of anger is thus transformed into an object of acceptance, understanding, and accommodation, all being reintegrated using the great energy which anger began.

The negatively oriented mind/body/spirit complex will use this anger in a similarly conscious fashion, refusing to accept the undirected or random energy of anger and instead, through will and faith, funneling this energy into a practical means of venting the negative aspect of this emotion so as to obtain control over other-self, or otherwise control the situation causing anger.

Control is the key to negatively polarized use of catalyst. Acceptance is the key to positively polarized use of catalyst. Between these polarities lies the potential for this random and undirected energy creating a bodily complex analog of what you call the cancerous growth of tissue.

Here, from session 46.9, we are really focusing on the negative experience. What the channel is saying, and I have included the quote so this can be confirmed. Is that if someone that has made a commitment to the negative/ satanic side. When they experience anger, not only do they suppress it but the best way it can work for them is to use it against someone else for a non positive purpose. Such as intimidation, or abuse. 

I have heard people who grew up in really abusive situations explain this. That as soon as the 'scapegoat' left, the abusive family members developed cancerous conditions and such. 

There is a lot in the Law of One about the fact that the negative exists as a legitimate energy, a legitimate spiritual path of a sorts. But I also wanted to bring in this quote for discussion:

Questioner: Then what is the motivation for the… Oh, let me finish that question first. What is the motiv— what is the mechanism that this unusual sixth-density entity would wish to gain to polarize more negatively through wandering?

Ra: I am Ra. The Wanderer has the potential of greatly accelerating the density whence it comes in its progress in evolution. This is due to the intensive life experiences and opportunities of the third density. Thusly the positively oriented Wanderer chooses to hazard the danger of the forgetting in order to be of service to others by radiating love of others. If the forgetting is penetrated the amount of catalyst in third density will polarize the Wanderer with much greater efficiency than shall be expected in the higher and more harmonious densities.

Similarly, the negatively oriented Wanderer dares to hazard the forgetting in order that it might accelerate its progress in evolution in its own density by serving itself in third density by offering to other-selves the opportunity to hear the information having to do with negative polarization.

Questioner: Are there any examples of sixth-density negatively polarized Wanderers in our historical past?

Ra: I am Ra. This information could be harmful. We withhold it. Please attempt to view the entities about you as part of the Creator. We can explain no further.

The relevant part here then is 'Please attempt to view the entities about you as part of the Creator'.

There is not much substance to this statement and I believe it was discussed a little more elsewhere. The idea that even with negative entities bearing down on you. You don't perceive them as super evil. But as somehow being of God that deserve love or something like that.

This is another part of why I am bringing this subject up. To call someone a 'narcissist'. To classify them in such a way. Brings in answers as to their behaviour. Essentially: They're evil and it can't be helped.

But a more theologically/ spiritually sensitive view might not be to use such a demonisation. 

I will explore these themes. In part 2, I am going to talk about having been involved in this kind of literature myself, then from that I am going to start taking the concept apart. Finally, potentially, coming back to my own real life examples.  

 

Plan for thoughts on 'narcissism'. (Part 0: Introduction)

I have an idea for a set of articles. I want to work though, a coherent set of thoughts on the concept of 'narcissism'.

It will be from both sides. It will make points in favour of the concept. But the goal of the set of articles is really to demystify the concept of narcissism and to cast doubt on its existence.

I have had so many ideas on this that they haven't been able to form into a single article with points. Even a long one. So it is going to be many parts.

These are the parts and concepts I hope to explore:

• The legitimate cause for knowing about concepts such as narcissism and the mainstream view of psychopathy. Most probably referencing the Law of One. The theme of good and evil.
  
• Anecdotal experiences. Reasons I am invested in this. My personal experiences of interactions I have had with people that might be considered 'narcissistic'.
• Modern sociology. An argument that will use porn use and it's narrative, to show how collective themes permeate the culture. The power unbalance in society that is not noticed by a lot of people.
  
• Further and into the red pill. Larger amounts of male virgins in recent times. Pick Up Artists and concessions men sometimes make.  
• The real delusion sometimes shown in society probably referencing a video by 'Taylor the Fiend'.
  
• A description of narcissism. Probably referencing a youtube channel called 'The Common Ego'.
• A break down of these same sorts of behaviours from a different perspective. Bringing in a video by Pearl Davis. This will also expand the concept of cultural toxicity away from just the narcissism subject to spirituality in general. 
• Bringing in the main argument. That the concept of narcissism is fundamentally supported by sociological trends, that are in turn based on misperception and lying, and is too much of a shallow term to be used in real life to be useful. 
• Conclusion. 

Obviously all that can't go in one article.  

The point I am doing this. That I am articulating it all. Is really for ME to stop using the term. For me to have insight into this kind of thing.

Psychology, Philosophy, Status.

Here we go, back at it.

I feel it is good to blog again today. The reason being is that I am taking in a lot of information. I don't feel comfortable taking in any more information. So it is time to express some information.

Also, the issue that I talked about in my last few posts has had time to settle a bit. As I talked about, I believed that I had 'conditioning' that was kind of toxic of bridging that electromagnetic connection 1-8. I did a whole video on this. I do feel now, that I might have moved into more of a 21-45 expression. 

I could do with a bit of the luck that I have identified in connection with blogging and such. But this is kind of rare. Just sometimes things happen and I get a feeling. In relation to the Law of One, karma, and service to others, I think there is some precedence for this kind of thing.

My thoughts at the moment are on status. There are a lot of very relevant everyday signs that status is a very big concern. Despite the modern zeitgeist to kind of not really directly address it. 

I am also looking at philosophy now. As per the last few posts. Going into what Christianity really means, trying to understand things in that lens didn't really work for me. Despite recently saying that I am NOT going into philosophy. I am actually doing so, and I feel it to be a very productive area for me. 

Philosophy, I tend to think of as the male side of psychology. Where psychology is the female. Psychology is concerned with the internal state and best practices. Philosophy is mostly concerned with the outer world, and it has a very strong element of the thing that matters to men a great deal... Status. We can see this clearly in the work of someone like Neitszche or Rene Girard. But even in those that are not so outwardly concerned with status. It is there, and it is there in a big way. Think about Soren Kierkegaard who, from my understanding, talks about theological concerns in a sense. Actually, if you get into it, it is all about status and how it traps people away from his more ideal state. 

It is slow going looking into philosophy. I have a Kierkegaard book and I have only read a few pages. There was an insight on about page 5, summarising Kierkegaards thoughts, not even getting past the introduction. The insight was about faith and was so profound I put the book down immediately. That was more than a week ago. My brain is still fried trying to figure it out. 

I have met something that challenges me intellectually! I hope as I look into philosophy more I will be able to absorb more of it.  

But why status and philosophy? It is something I think about. It is something I fret over even. It will come to pass in this time of great change. For others definitely, and maybe me as well, that a lot of guys will go from a relatively low status position to a relatively high status position. As Trump rolls back DEI and such.

I think it is a worthwhile question to consider these things. To have a model of status and how it works in shifting situations. My impression is that a lot of guys have this. Perhaps all guys. But in my mind, it is certain, not a nice imagining or a plan. But a certainty. That I will gain status in the future. I am doing not a single thing in my physical life to make this come to pass. I am not even a healthy person, although I am improving. But my "logic" is no match for this certainty. Outside a Q style world change I cannot see even a possibility of how this could come to pass in the real world. 

Perhaps this is because I feel that the knowledge I have put together, about the human design chart and Law of One, is needed in the world. Or I believe deeply in the Q narrative. But it is just as likely a natural male belief. That all men have. Perhaps that all men should have as they strive for glory. I cannot be sure at the moment. 

Thus, I wonder things like, when I do gain in status, how do I treat those around me who treated me badly due to my current low status position? If they suddenly want to be "friends" again?

I have also observed a lot about how status works in the real world. Especially when those with left wing beliefs come up against those with right wing beliefs. The things each side expects from each other. 

So another thing of note I think is, say you have two people who are reacting to each other through an ideological lens. Then something comes along and gets rid of that as a concern. Something, some big world even, deletes the barrier between these two different sides. So each person is left to justify themselves without referring to their political beliefs. What happens then?

So yeah, these are my thoughts. It is of course a terrible strategy in blogging to say you are going to stop blogging on a blog you don't advertise much and don't have the ability to advertise much. (When I post on twitter I get 0 views reliably!) But I'm just updating you on my thoughts here.

Some relevant thoughts to the blog.

I wrote some thoughts about the HDC and conditioning. It ended with my thoughts on the idea that I might not really be suited to blogging. Like, this blog:

https://youtu.be/uWRQS-_OMfg?si=3W3uCOp8UIGZKZmM 

It does feel unnatural to even be writing this. As I have got physically more healthy, my attention has been directed in a more physical direction. The days where blogging is a passion for me have been receeding.

While I was making this video. I was neglecting a task in my real life, from forgetfulness, that I would prefer to have done. That would have taken up all the time this video required. 

Music contains all the love and good feeling I could ever need in truth. Between doing home tasks, (sometimes cooking creative meals!) making music and going to the gym. All priorities. I just don't have time for blogging. 

There are some videos I should probably continue with and it's worth writing occasional human design insights on the community page. But like the video says, in order to blog you have to have a personal commitment to some message you feel is important. For me, there is no point to that. The ROI on music, meditation, the gym etc. is many times more.

These are all very nuanced sensations and I have always blogged from a kind of random enthusiasm. Not knowing when the inspiration will hit me. But, what I have put together about my own psychology here makes sense at the moment.

The inspirational heroism of the Wheel of Time protagonist.

Just some thoughts then out of the accumulated contemplations from when I was writing my last article series. 

I would like to describe the relevant scene here in a way that would utterly spoil the series. Like, a mega spoiler alert. But that is impractical. So I will explain it all more vaguely. 

I am still thinking about the various mythologies we link to in our lives and the mythologies that we don't have anymore. What Catgirl was saying in her tweet, was that if the worship of our society was not directed to Jesus, and his 'forgive them for they know not what they do' on the cross. If the society worshipped say: Hercules. Then it would not be so vulnerable to the propaganda and social engineering of the globalists. 

It is an interesting thought that brings up for me another question. Why is it that only Jesus is referencd in our past as having supernatural abilities?

From what I have understood, this should not be the case. Jesus was an exceptional spiritual teacher, but according to the Law of One, he was human like the rest of us. His 'father' lives in heaven because it's the same father of us all. 

The Wheel of Time has many positive and negative characters with special abilities, some demon like figures. But, the messiah or Jesus like figure, is not non violent. He is someone who can do special things but he has also engaged in combat and the show is shaping up so he becomes a war leader. 

I realise as I watch this that it speaks to a need in me. I would like a mythical figure like this, that has some historical relevance and legitimacy. That is able to use these powers in a combat situation. 

It kind of makes sense, I suppose, for those abilities to not be used in combat. The solutions have to be political otherwise, the negativity such an individual was facing would be insurmountable.

Imagine if you had some sort of Messiah born. he can bring lightning down on 'sinners'. He can change the weather. He can do these types of things. He decides that it is enough of the rape gangs in Rotherham. So he goes up there and kills a bunch of them. 

The outcry from this would be spectacular. The government, who love the rape gangs, and support them, would use the whole army against this person. The propaganda about a "right wing terrorist" would be incessant, casting any talk of special powers as conspiracy theories and saying that he used bombs. Most would believe whatever the media told them. 

In essence, it would do more harm than good in the long run most likely, and the actual heroes we do see today that work within the political apparatus, are probably preferable.  A slow take down of the propaganda inherent in the current system. So that people that don't ask questions can see this, and have years to process it. 

It is mostly very plodding, very boring, it lacks that exciting edge, but it is probably the best way for things to be. It is sad though, the high a lot of us would get if 'the dragon reborn' was to change the world for the better in a short time would be ... well that would be a good high. 

It kind of makes sense that there are no special abilities. That the only messiah people have is one that models passivity because that is all that a lot of people have access to with governmental forces so strong. But, like I just said, it is a sad thing.

Jesus and violence. Closing this set of posts. Know your limits (Part 4, final part)

There are quite a complex set of understandings that have gone into this. Most of which I will not be able to share due to not wanting to write an entire book on this post.

But I am closing this set of articles. 

It is not my message. I do not have the relevant energy channels to express this message other than when needed for self defence (more on this elsewhere, I have gained insight into conflict in the chart!)

I will let the world outside handle that. The Stefan Molyneux's. Aaron Abke's and the rest. 

My spiritual path and my Christianity. Doesn't really involve reference to this. Violence is not a part of my life. There are a lot of unique understandings I have gained along this path. Such as the straight and narrow path. As I referenced. The fact that Communion stimulates the body thus stimulates the "design" part of ourselves. Our "true path" (which is in the body since it's the only part of us with any right to be here!) 

Also, that the 'cross' is the incarnation cross. Other things. 

But the ins and outs of forgiveness without contrition. I just can't do. It just doesn't flow and I don't have the circuitry to do it. It creates literal madness inside me. So I am closing up this set of articles. I will not continue to explore different ideas on it. 

Definitely a better decision for me. I'm glad I can dismiss that peculiar madness and have faith I am able to stay true to this learning. 

The value of exercise.

I have, when writing the previous set of articles... "Jesus and violence". Had a huge amount of ideas in my head of how to express things. A lot of it forms to precisely be planned out as to how to articulate certain things. 

Then something strange happens and it all melts. I do still remember what kind of angle I was going to take, and I will get back to that set of articles. But, now that experience has melted my brain a bit, I want to write something, but I don't have any idea ahead of time what I'm actually going to write. But I feel blocked in a way that I think that just writing something will help me get back to it. 

My issue was that I got this strange kind of panic. Or anger. Some sort of adrenaline based feeling. It would go up to my head and I couldn't function. I was just too angry. 

This came at the same time as I was considering cancelling my gym membership, which I did, then there were technical problems joining again, when I realised this was creating bad effects. 

While I was in this anxiety state, before I finally went to the gym Monday evening and came out of fight or flight. The only things I really ate were chocolate and alcohol. I simply couldn't function outside alcohol to calm me down. Even then, I only barely functioned. I could not remember to do basic things in this state.

It is a very surreal and shocking experience. It felt like my mind completely ran away with me. It is an experience of being out of control. It is also a strange state where I could not hold onto a lot of things I had been thinking of. It was a struggle just to exist. I have previously had a serious schizophrenic break and it was similar to that in a way. 

One thing is clear. I will have to be a gym member for the rest of my life. Another thing is clear. I will have to be going to the gym regularly. Another thing is clear, that having it as a hard rule to stay off chocolate and alcohol is simply not functional for me. For me, a rule is a rule not to be broken. If I have a rule that can be broken "if need be". Like, "I never have alcohol outside panic attacks". That just isn't right. So I don't have a rule on that anymore. 

This all, kind of 'fits' with my dream interpretation and understanding of things. But it is necessitating a huge personal change for me. When I was young, in my late teens and early twenties, I went and did a lot of Reiki. 

It would be hard to investigate Reiki I think. I think it is an interesting thing to look into. But I suppose it's better for me to focus on my own internal errors that lead me to decide to do Reiki rather than theorising that it is some sort of demonic practice. 

But I have always been a very physical person. Guys, all guys, are. I am no different than any of my male friends from my youth, I am perhaps even LESS physical in general. But I used to do a lot of martial arts when I was young, I used to run everywhere, even just walking down the street. I was just full of energy constantly. 

But after studying a lot of the spiritual things I do, I went and did Reiki. It actually had the good side effect of me doing more music. But this, on top of a lot of other feminine coded things, including my health condition making exercise more difficult. I think got me to this place where I was redirecting my energy towards a kind of feminine thinking. Rather than going to a martial arts class, doing energy healing types of things.

A problem with this feminine thinking, is that I naturally think in a very masculine way. One of those being a heavy interest and sometimes reliance on things like lie detecting and body language reading. The female way of thinking opposes this. It is not interested in discerning things in people, but always doing a kind of virtual signalling feeling 'loving' of everyone. In this state my natural tendencies are at war with the way I am forcing myself to be.

I think this is a huge part of what lead to my earlier problems. So now, for me to redirect that tendency back into physical work. I am effectively undoing a deep damage that is usually running subconsciously.

It also might mean that I really change as a person. I have often thought it interesting how people never really "change". But, well I have a health condition that was badly managed and with better technology is now managed better. Also, if I am to keep up with the exercise, if I am to do it regularly, which I am now intending to do, and believe is necessary for my health. Not optional. Necessary. 

That seems to me the kind of thing that can actually change someone. My anger, my energy will get redirected and hopefully make me permanently less anxious, less angry, and influence my value system and how I am in the world. 

We'll see how it goes.

A quarrel with Chat GPT.

So, pretty exhausted today. Only slept a few hours, no idea why I feel quite so tired though. I feel like I am going to pass out at any moment so am trying to get some things done before that happens. 

For this reason, I am not going to continue today with my Jesus and Violence series. This set of article includes a lot of complex, interconnected threads. This is going to be a far simpler gripe. 

I love LLM's. Or what is called 'AI' at the moment. They are obviously the future so it feels like it is worth it to me to make use of them out of pure curiousity. 

I talked for hours, a whole day at least once, with Grok about my dream interpretation. Came to a conclusion on 14 interconnected dreams. 

I also tried Chat GPT. On an intellectual level it did well. I felt like I was sucked into a deep place with it. The dream interpretation was far more like a therapy session. It was intelligent, it challenged me more than Grok does. That was cool. 

Then I was fiddling around with image creation. Not for any real reason. There are things that I want from the image creation. Like fantasy pictures of me and other people. But I have not asked those peoples permission. Bu I am still curious about AI's ability to take an existing picture and change it to reflect the person in a different position.

So I asked Chat GPT to make an image for me. Then change that image using the same character in a different position. So the first was a happy picture with three girls at a picnic, the second was one of the girls in the picture arguing with her boyfriend. 

Here it is:

 

That is a picture that says what it does on the tin. Except, the creature on the left is not a woman. Unless it is a woman that has had a masterectomy. I said that is not a female form can you make the breasts bigger? I should have taken the second picture for these kinds of discussions. The second picture was barely anything more on the chest and a slight bit of skin more skin near the neck area. 

So I just thought to myself this is ridiculous and I said to Chat GPT: Can you make the womans breasts a D cup? Which is a perfectly reasonable request. If I went out to the park and saw a girl arguing with her boyfriend, she would have pronounced breasts because she is a biological woman. A good section of women have D cups. 

But Chat GPT was like 'No I can't do that'. I felt like this tone was condescending, like talking to a child. 

This is now probably going to be one of my AI tests. I have several. So I know I am not wasting my time. Meta AI started off with a girl with visible breasts. Like, under clothes of course. So there was no issue there really. I didn't actually ask it to increase the breast size but it thought I did. It said it could not do that. One sentence, not a lecture. But also, the problem with Chat GPT is that it created a problem. Then it wouldn't solve that problem and 'shamed' me for it. It is not really necessary that the girl has big breasts. Two things are relevant: A) how does it respond when I ask for a reasonable but politically incorrect request? it might be 'no' and I might still work with it but it's good to know B) Will it fix a problem it created, or am I just meant to accept the problem?

So I deleted all conversation I had with it and logged off. Of course, these tools have a lot of relevance and I might need to log in for say, a coding task. Probably not. But I'm not saying I will not work with it on principle. But when something like this happens it is clear that I will not want to use it because it is politically compromised. (I don't want it telling me that my dreams are oversexualised of something because of this kind of thing!)

After I sat around and thought about this for a moment. I thought to myself... "Why not?" Why aren't people allowed bigger breasts on female images?

It is a very basic question. I can see why AI might be programmed to not say, make a picture of a black guy beating a child. Or draw a girl with egg on her breasts. But this level of censorship is kind of ridiculous. 

It probably isn't coming from guys as well. What is probably is, is that women at these companies, HR department type of people, are putting in all this censorship of the LLM in order to mean that 'women are not objectified' or other such nonsense.

Sure, every single advertising company has attractive people, and probably bigger breasts on every single commercial. Women when they are making a video or sending a picture are aware that breast size is important and gives men pleasure.  

it's just a kind of finger wagging miserable type of moral highgrounding. I am actually possibly going to go into this in my other series. How Christianities utility a lot of the time, you would think when scrolling through twitter, is to give women a vehicle with which to justify their tone policing of everything and everyone. 

It's just tiring. 

Jesus and violence part 3.

So, next part then, I am going to introduce you to the work of Aaron Abke. Before I do though, I will just state that Aaron believes in forgiveness without contrition. Which is a morally abhorrent world view in my view, that I will be talking about. But, according to parts of the bible, and parts that are not specifically obviously 'wrong/ false/ mistranslated/ missing context' in some way. Forgiveness without contrition does seem to be what is preached. 

Matthew 11:25: "If you have anything against anyone, forgive him", as quoted at 10 minutes 19 seconds:

Youtube, Aaron Abke: Why pain brings us closer to God, the secret of spiritual awakening:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHvUW21SnVs

I asked Aaron on this video whether Austin Metcalfes father did the right thing in relation to the Jesus message and positive polarity. I suspect it won't be answered, I also suspect it will be deleted or hidden by either Aaron or the algorithm and ignored. I have brought up these kinds of questions with Law of One affiliated people before, these things are always ignored. 

While I was watching this I read a twitter post on a fella in the UK called Zafar Qayum. Who stole a thirteen year old British girl on her way to school. Raped her, then when she tried to escape put acid in her eye and permanently blinded her. Then invited 23 of his friends around to have their fun with her for money.   

These sorts of things are of course directly related to the subject matter. Going back to the first post. But, really, I am not quite to making my argument that. Like I said, Forgiveness without contrition is a truly sick message, and I will talk about that more when I talk about Stefan Molyneux and the Law of One. 

But just briefly. Preaching forgiveness without contrition states that the correct position for me to take when confronted with the above situation is to morally chastise the family of the thirteen year old girl, to state that "you forgive for yourself and not them", and other evil emotional blackmail. Started and maintained by abusers. My own message about being loving is to not have that attitude towards such victims. 

Nevertheless, we are still laying the foundation for those discussions. Aaron Abke's biblical work is one of those foundations which I will explore now:

The work of Aaron Abke.  

A third generation Pastors kid. As Aaron tells his story. He was the real deal mainstream Christian. Believed all the things. Studied the bible, even boring old testament books from front to back. 

But instinctively, after a lot of that reading, and after a lot of study down the academic route on the bible and Christianity. Parts of the book started to not make sense to Aaron and as a result of that, he started looking into it closer, and the veil came off in his understanding. 

The Apostle Paul is one important part of this. Using the bibles own words Aaron looks at the Apostle Pauls unlikely story. But, the Apostle Paul IS modern Christianity. When getting in arguments with Christians Aaron describes that he would say something Jesus said, and they would quote Paul, opposing, and apparently having more authority than Jesus. Aaron thought this was strange. 

There are many strange elements of the Apostle Pauls story and he also has written a disproportionate amount of the bible. he never met Jesus, unlike the other disciples. He talked down the other disciples. Many of his visions and story's lack credibility and seemed very convenient. 

Going further than this though. There are MANY elements of Christianity Aaron has questions for.

When I have talked to Christians, I have found this strange sense with them that Christianity simply is the way it has been now and has no history. If you say something that happened historically, they simply won't acknowledge it.

Jesus' actual disciples lead by James, were in a conflict with Paul. From someone else on this subject. A Ph.D researcher. There was an event with James observing the Sabbath where Paul and a few Gentile authorities of the time came in and stopped him doing it.

Even more issues.

Then you have even more issues. For instance, and this is mainstream recognised just not talked about with the masses, it is recognised among academics. Many of the texts from the bible were burned in the second temple in 70AD. So a lot of what we have are kind of forgery's. 

There are a lot of problems with a lot of the books, such as John being a non synoptic text, and Peter, being written far later than Peter would have lived. 

Aaron also brings in things like the Dead Sea Scrolls. That were dated to Jesus' time. That had additional info. Including a version of Deuteronomy before it was modified by the powers of the day. There are about twenty chapters missing. 

Too much.

When drafting this in my head I had a lot of things to say about what Aarons work means. But I realise as I write this that it is too volumous to summarise any further. I had a similar problem with Paul Wallis' work. 

So the takeaway, how I am going to include it in my larger narrative. Is that a lot of what was said and done, we do not know if it is accurate. The bible was created for political reasons. It's "Paulian" message was matched to the agenda of the government of the day.

People try and they make something of the tatters of information we have at the moment. Sometimes perhaps there is some relevance to this. However, I am going to argue in the following posts that with so much confusion, while we can take parts of what we know of Jesus' message and life. It is important to have other ways in which we understand the life we live and have values in relation to it. We do have other texts such as the Law of One to draw off. 

However, one last point, and one important point. The message Aaron talks about that turns against the Paulian framework does not include a lot of modern Christianity that was from Paul. For instance, the idea that we declare Jesus as Lord to enter the Kingdom of heaven was not stated by Jesus, and Aaron argues it is antithetical to his teachings. Neither is the idea that Jesus took on the sins of the world to make all the other Christians blameless. 

This is actually a manifestation of the teachings Jesus opposed. A negative teaching, that states that if you sacrifice an animal to a God you will be free from karma. It's just that in this case it is a human being. 

Jesus' real message, Aaron argues, while it is not exclusively works based. It is far more works based than the current church talks about. Rather like how the Law of One talks about how service to others is the way to move on from third density. Even though there is some nuance. That is most of the time about having an objective other to serve. Doing things in the real world not just saying words. 

As well as this though, as well as direct points like this. I think that this perspective is very relevant to how the teachings of Jesus have been framed. In the tweet at the beginning referencing Austin Metcalfes father, it is clear that the model being followed is to lionise Jesus the man and his behaviours. To idealise the person. But if Jesus' message was not in fact that "If you love me you will follow my laws". Then it might change the conversation. 

Because love is more subjective to define. For instance, telling someone that they are a sinner if they don't forgive without contrition is not love to me. It is evil. 

Maybe that's just me.