Thursday, 3 April 2025

Tariffs, a yo yo analogy.

I have been trying to get my mind about tariffs since it has been talked about. 

It has been clear to me, since about 2015 when I more seriously got into this kind of thing, that economics is very important for the "global game", of good and evil. 

Humans... are tribal creatures. While our inbuilt, down to the bone, animal instincts still tell us that the tribal rules of old are important. This civilised, more technologically advanced world doesn't always align with said senses. In my view. 

The Q people, and most people really, on the right wing side, has been far more exciteable, by many many times, about the release of the Epstein files than these tariffs. But to me, from what I have understood. The problem with the system we currently have is, for a lot of reasons, the actual system more than the individuals. In most cases. 

Incentives are incredibly, incredibly powerful. People, as is completely rational and is another thing from tribal times. Minutely work out what is in their best interests. Down to the smallest currency depending on the individual. As an example, the welfare state managed to make a lot of single mothers. Because they were incentivised to. For thousands of reasons, one of them being that they know the welfare state is there, so they don't work hard at having children with a stable provider, but are more free to pursue their lusts. Another is that the welfare system tends to reward single mother more highly. I.e. you have more welfare money if you don't have a provider helping you. 

Incentives, of sometimes amounts such as 10%, change an entire society. They change it slowly sometimes, but they are powerful partly because they are global. 

Arresting loads of rich folks who went to Epstein Island will give some measure of good. Some ammunition to the right people in the culture war. But it is not where huge worldchanging decisions are made and entire industries of millions of workers and all the incentives therein actually change. That is MONEY that does that. The truth about the Epstein list is, that there are probably more celebrities and Epsteins of the same exact character and power waiting in the wings. 

But now considering what is going on with tariffs. The fact they have basically effected everyone in the world. It seems like to me. It seems likely that a lot of the effects are going to come about through such complex mechanisms that we barely have any idea what will happen. But another thought is that it is likely, that with the whole financial system changed. With all these incentives changed and so much subtle behaviour change. That there is a possibility that this move by the Trump administration will create such gravity as to simply destroy the deep state in every country.

It could be that the free market spreads like a kind of virus for which there is no defence. 

As a small example. If America is running a country with very low regulations, with no DEI so the most efficient people are hired. With a decreasing immigrant population leading to less crime. Basically a bunch of rich, happy, productive, Americans - who don't pay income tax and are not subject to regulations. 

Imagine you are like... the UK, and people in your country are selling... yo- yo's. DEI has made the business less efficient. Most of the men don't have partners because they are not rich enough, overtaxed. And the culture has shifted away from the easy socialising that would encourage that. So the company is producing. But it is not producing amazingly. It produces say, 200 yo yo's at 40% quality every month at £3 per one yo yo. We will call this company Yo keys.

Then you have an American company, due to the aforementioned, including finding it easier to procure the materials for the yo yo's because they are produced in America and tariffs have forced pretty much all production back to America. It is a truck drive away for most materials not imported from China. This company full of happy, hard working, American family men produces 600 yo yo's at 70% quality every month at $1 per yo yo (so it can be sold cheaper). We will call this company Yo S A.

Previously what would have happened is the UK government would have slapped a tariff on Yo S A and it all would have been good. This is important, because the effects on the economy of things like DEI and regulation; can't ever be too negative for it to continue. Yo keys would have sold it's produce into America but America would not have sold it's yo yo's to the UK. 

But now things are different. If you want to put a tariff on Yo S A then Trump will slap a tariff on Yo keys as well, and no on in America will EVER buy them. So the UK government has two choices. Either put the tariff on and lose access to US markets, which will only be getting better and more advanced. Or don't do that and Yo keys will fail because Yo S A is better. 

It makes DEI and over regulation pretty dangerous for any economy. It sets up a heavy incentive to do away with regulation and move to free trade. Of course that might not happen. But these tariffs change the game. 

They also effect tax. Yo keys, no matter which way it swims, with or without tariff, or without regulations, will not be paying so much tax. 

This is just one company, this whole situation will be effecting more than one company. In many unpredictable ways. It will be effecting other things as well like politics in various ways. When you have to empower smart white men who are the biggest voters for Trump like politicians, rather than hobbling them with DEI, then there is a huge risk of a power shift. 

I imagine America's free trade agreements with Israel and a few other countries, maybe South Korea, whichever fold first, will be very productive. It will begin to set up a new trading block, those that do agree to free trade. What if all those countries start benefitting? And any country that resists free trade starts to fail?

I mean, it is all pretty amazing. 

Sunday, 30 March 2025

More on prayer.

So just correcting the last post. No, I am not going to stop praying. 

It is rather like having looked at the whole 'Jesus was an Essene', from Aaron Abke, and then not eating a lot of meat, then getting kind of ill.

It is almost precisely the same as that.

I find prayer powerfully positively relevant. Yes, while it is true that I did do a bit more music on the days when I did not pray. Music is not the only activity that needs to be done. I can't even justify the positive power of prayer to the level that I made the opposite case yesterday. But I am sure that praying is the right thing to do. 

Today, after I prayed, immediately I was far more loving and positive with people around me. I was more positive and 'faith filled'. Far more positive. In fact a lot of worries just disappeared without a trace. The presence of the prayer energy reminded me to use things like dream interpretation. I assign dream interpretation and the positives I have gotten from it almost entirely to the prayer. 

It's like my defences are being tested recently. I compromised on a diet I have learnt is best for me via trial and error. I have thought a lot about alcohol and chocolate recently. Then came a whole 'anti prayer' perspective. 

But no, this was stupid. Prayer is fantastic. It also agrees with the paradigm I put in in the last post. If we are a trinity, the two nodes and then a third, unchartable feature. One node is meditation, the other is music. The unchartable feature is the religion. For me Christianity, and prayer being a part of that.

Saturday, 29 March 2025

Insights and prayer.

A good day.

Man, it is absolutely brilliant to have a keyboard. Not just a keyboard, but a better one than I had before. It seems obvious to me that the laptop keyboard is meant to look good rather than being designed to actually be good for your hands. The new keyboard I have. Where the buttons are half a centimeter from the keyboard and require to actually be pressed (we are not designed for constant micro movements! Well, perhaps women are when being sensitive with babies!) This is the far more comfortable and better keyboard. 

Today has felt like one of the most profound days I have had in a long time. I woke up this morning, and instead of running the same program I normally do. I realised that a lot of the time when I push for a certain outcome. Plan certain things, and it all goes wrong or is just a huge pain to do, and creates further inconvenience. It might actually be better for me to not do these things. It might be positive forces sabotaging this!

In crystalising a bit of dream interpretation, and some other things that I have suspected, but not been able to act on for a long time. I have come to a few insights. 

Human Design.

On the human design. It seems to me that my own human design. With so many individual hexagrams, including each of those in my incarnation cross. Designed for solitude. It seems to me that my process when expressed positively is to, through a great amount of introspection. Become more aware of my own human design. Those insights then being largely generalisable to others. 

One of the things that I have been thinking about. Is the nodes. For a long time I have been trying to get insight into them. I think I have got it. Potentially. 

Firstly, there is a macro structure in my understanding that correlates with 'the trinity', the Christian concept. This is made up of the North Node on both sides. The personality and Design. And a third feature that might be termed our 'religion' that is not able to be seen in any chart. 

Also bringing in another concept. We have two sides of us. the upward seeking of the personality and the downpouring of the Creator. I think the personality North Node in the human design is the upward seeking of the personality. The design north node is the downpouring of the Creator. 

These basically correlate to habits we can have in our lives to encourage these North Nodes. Then we have the South nodes. 

The south node is something that we probably will not do. It is the thing that we need to NOT do. Did I make a confusing statement there? The South Node correlates to a behaviour that opposes a tendency we have that is not good for us. But that we will probably do in our lives. Unless we have a very good environment with good teaching as to how to avoid said pitfalls. 

Specifics on the design:

So this is this same set of understandings in my own chart:

NN Personality: Gate 25.6. This is to do with philosophical types of thoughts coming from the two design 51.1.'s. The entire channel. Basically, the 51.1 brings a good bit of chaos into my life and that has to be philosophised about in the gate 25. The gate 25 is improved by meditation. 

NN Design 21.2: An interesting line. "Here the severest action will be the most successful". A line with no compromise. This is to do with music and, when following along with a melody that has already written itself that one sometimes feels like they are channeling. A certain severity is necessary. A lot of the songs I write come out with aggressive themes. Uncompromising. 

SN Personality: 46.6: This is a behaviour that I need to watch. This is to do with not paying attention to the physical world. The lesson of the gate 46, the love of the body, is that that does need to be done. I have a tendency to not want to do that and to prefer a more cerebral worldview. 

SN Design Gate 48.2: An understanding of this is just becoming apparent now I believe. But it could be to do with letting people and the past go. This line, basically states that 'To accomodate inferior influences is to invite degradation'.

It is one of the insights I have had that, on a purely internal level. I am holding onto people. A small part of this is that I don't have the human design of anyone but people from my past and I love the human design. Love looking at it and thinking it over. But also, I said in recent blogs that I do not believe it is good to fully dismiss people because the coming of the famed Q narrative mass arrests may change them

The Q narrative:

But that is starting not to feel so relevant to me. Even with the Q information. I am still a person with my own experiences and beliefs and such. Q isn't as right about things as I initially thought. For instance, they said the Lords Prayer, which was written by Paul. While it might be correct. If it came from Paul there is no telling if it is correct or not. 

The Q information, and some of their statements about people "needing your support" when their worldview is destroyed, is something that has held back an actual commitment for me to completely letting go of previous left wing associates/ friends and even family, emotionally. 

But I dunno. It doesn't make complete sense to me and never has. I'm sure if there is a huge social change that people 'need support' with. Those people will be able to get through without my help. Even if it were as serious as say... the introduction of information to do with negative ET's. 

People don't want to admit when they are wrong. Perhaps a lot of people would simply avoid me in that case. If I had always been right about everything. Also, people that follow the establishment. The centre and hard left folks. What they are very attached to is authority. I'm sure as things like this become known the authorities, whomever they are by that time, will be putting out loads of information to make things easier for people. 

There is also the fact of my free will and my emotional and mental health. Also, that any transition will likely be slow. Grinding, declassification by slow moving declassification. Minute technology movement forward step by step. Like large language models. Economic shift by economic shift that will all be processed without me.

While there are obviously folks not paying attention to this kind of information that I am on good terms with. There is no reason for me to believe that I owe anything to anyone I don't currently like. 

Also, there is karma. There is a moral element to which side of the political aisle people choose. A lot of the people that disliked me because they are currently asleep and brainwashed, also wanted me to be vaccinated or called me "racist". Never apologised or made any effort even though they have had ample opportunity to do so and these people have been decades long friends and/ or family. 

Perhaps, and I know this is the kind of perspective that Q folks in general aren't gonna like. But perhaps the ultimate karmic reason and benefit of such a huge, potentially sudden shift in beliefs, trauma in other words. Is that people that have absolutely refused to believe they are wrong on any minute thing can be made to experience the natural consequence of that lack of humility. Perhaps, people that have spent hours of their lives hating me and gossiping about me and calling me racist and whatnot, SHOULD suddenly meet a dark moment where I am not there to comfort them as their reality splits into pieces. Perhaps this is karmic and right. 

A crutch

It is seeming to me that my own personal thoughts, outside the Q narrative. My own flow of being, or decision, or intuition or whatever, has decided I need to completely let a lot of these people go. So the Q narrative. which I deeply believe in, has to be made to fit with that. 

The other thing that I have been wondering and thinking about today is prayer in general. With the viewpoint that I have explained. There is meditation (conscious North Node) Music (Design North Node) and a few other points. Of course other parts of the chart have relevance as well. 

But, prayer is not exactly there. Now, the third area, the religious beliefs, might encompass that. But the truth is, I am starting to doubt prayer as a tool.

I am not completely sure about this one. I may go back to it. But not having prayed today has been positive and also, as with energy healing, I seem to get a positive result from not doing it. One of the prayers that I used to say was blessing with music but, I played more music that I loved today than I normally do. 

It is almost like, when I did energy healing, I felt on some level that the energy healing was me being productive and I would be less productive outside that. Also, when I pray to be good at music it makes me feel, I think, that I have done something about music. When I don't pray, I use that energy to simply play music. 

Like I said, I am not sure on this one. I will be saying to myself some sort of prayer even in the absence of formalised prayers. But I am wondering if all the prayers that I was saying need to be forgotten about. That I can pray when I actually need something. Or want to have a discussion with the higher positive forces. But the formalised prayers, and all the things I asked from them. Perhaps are just not that great.

Perhaps all the messy emotions I have prayed away can be handled in another way? Perhaps the dissatisfaction from not playing enough music is in fact very productive!?

The fact is, if God created us and we are perfect, perhaps we don't need to pray? Perhaps waking up in the morning my human design chart has all the tools I could ever want!?

Today, rather than going on a 6 hour trek, which is what I often force myself to do. I have carefully and gingerly worked on my health. I have taken enough meat. I have coffee and prunes for another low level health issue. And I have had masses of water which is a big deal for me, and usually only happens with herbal tea.  

Today I have had more energy than I have had in a long time. I have often been falling asleep before I am ready to recently.

Perhaps this is enough. Perhaps I don't need to pray for this. I will see how it goes.

Wednesday, 26 March 2025

Synchroncities and the world changing.

Life changing synchronicities

This is a post of 'well I suppose I should'. 

We are not meant to explain to others our 'sychronicities' in relation to the Law of Free Will, at least in my understanding. Where I am getting this is a section where the Law of One contact, told the three doing the sessions that it would be a violation of the Law of Free will for them to explain to others the synchronicities they were getting to advise them on which house would be best for them, as they were looking for a new one.

I think this relates to dreams as well because of reasons I have worked through myself. With dreams it is kind of easy to conceal that a piece of wisdom came from said dreams or say, the human design chart, because the information just becomes it's own thing after it is figured out. But occasionally I do tell others parts of dreams and synchronicities. It just feels 'right' to.

So that is what I am going to do in this post. 

When the JFK files came out. Like, less than 24 hours after they came out. I had a look for myself. I scrolled randomly a few times about 10 pages in (1 page was about 30 files I think). It was quite a bit. I would go say, 5 pages, check out some files. Then 20 pages, check out some more. In total I didn't check more than 10 pages before realising it would need more knowledgeable and motivated researchers than me to swim through all this.

I downloaded exactly one page, here is a screenshot proving that. The screenshot was created yesterday and it clearly states that the relevant file, 104-10110-10621, was downloaded last week. I have deleted the metadata from this file as I do for all images. But I do still have the original with the metadata:


Because I had to allow the furthest left part of the screen to be shown I have to show all my files here. But there is the file. Sitting there under it's correct file name. It is good I never thought to change that.

Why is this relevant?


Unfortunately, the screenshot is not large enough to show the date. But here is the tweet itself:

https://x.com/MichelleMi10625/status/1903699033451090169

It is dated March 23rd. So a week or so AFTER I downloaded that document.

It's just a pretty big synchronicity to say Q is legitimate for me. Too-ing and fro-ing about this a lot myself. I consider Q to be legitimate, but the process of attaching to some mysterious military code dropper like a good Riddler or something, to potentially not be healthy. 

The real world. 

I talked in an article recently, not that long ago, about how it is hard to come to hard and fast moral rules when you expect the world to change in a big way in the future. I.e. if I have someone in my life that I feel has been unpleasant and I don't really like. There is a distinct possibility that this person will change, if such a global change happens like Q says it will. 

... and that change, the David Wilcock esque mass arrests looks like it is "in process". 

Since the character length increase, you pretty much can't get the date of a tweet into the screenshot. 

Here is the tweet: https://x.com/RealAlexJones/status/1904676405939490988 It is dated today, March 26th. 

This, if it were declassified, would in fact lead to the kind of outcomes talked about. The global deepstate going to jail and things really moving about. Opinions and incentives massively changing.

So that's all I have to say about that. Interesting huh?

Tuesday, 25 March 2025

The annoying people and the power of philosophy.

Here is a podcast that annoys me:

Youtube: The Five O's - Understanding God's nature - Jesus Way Podcast Clip:

https://youtu.be/roQTBYXM9Os?si=lpcGezKGK3S31m3k 

I was talking up Aaron Abke after having discovered his work recently. It seems pretty inspiring to get to the real messages of Jesus.

But, he is pushing a message that is satanic, and "unforgiveable". I have messaged him about it so he knows, and has chosen to ignore that.

Aaron Abke believes in forgiveness without contrition. 

My path, philosophy:

It brings me to me developing path of understanding. One of the things that has become obvious to me for a long time is how unproductive 'dogma' is. Dogma is 'rules laid down and expecting to be followed without question'. 

This is one of the central problems with channeling. To go to the actual pages of some channeling, it will tend to outline to begin with that it's guidance is subject to the law of free will. Which, to some degree equalises for channelings main problem. Which is that you can't question channeling. The reason you can't question it is because the channel is no longer infront of you to answer your question. So if it were to say: 'The sky is green', and you wanted to ask 'well then why does it look blue?' The channel is no longer there to answer that. 

So if you are talking to people that are into channeling. They will excerpt some part of the reading to show their point and expect it to be followed without question. Thereby using the channels words in a way that is not conducive to free will.

Example: A: The Sky is blue, since that is what I an everyone I know says when they look at it. 

B: The sky is green

A: No it is blue

B: *Excerpt of channeling saying the sky is green*.

This is where philosophy shines. For me, a lot of the things I personally believe. The 'faith I keep'. I don't mention to anyone. These are the things I can't justify like the results I get when I do communion. Like the Nazarenes that followed the death of Jesus being a deeply exclusive religion. 

But, what is worth discussing with others are things that can be argued, that there is evidence for in the real world and it can be argued these things do provide benefit. If you say 'forgiveness without contrition is the way' or 'forgiveness without contrition is satanic in nature'. You have to basically justify that perspective. I can and I have. 

Are there any psychological studies that talk about this? In abuse communities, stating that forgiveness without contrition is needed is considered a form of abuse. And I believe that to be the case.

I once asked someone pushing this viewpoint if they would tell someone that had been raped as a child to forgive their abuser. This person said that they would. That they would forgive the abuser (i.e. the abuser that had done nothing to them) and hope the person raped as a child would be inspired by that. 

I hope karma comes back on them for that sort of statement! 

Conclusion:

This all agrees with my understanding of Christianity and Jesus' teachings. Dogma, things that people say that they expect to be followed without question. Even if they are, theoretically, following the Law of Free will. Is arrogant. That's what it is. "I will deliver my enlightened wisdom onto you and I don't have to justify myself."

Philosophy though is not that. Baked into philosophy, ideally, is the idea that ideas can be challenged and changed if another viewpoint can be proven. THAT is humility. That is respect for God, for if God is in all things, almost anyone might be doing Gods will. Not just the one on the podium.  

This is the pathway that my thoughts... "path" is taking recently. It fits.

Monday, 24 March 2025

The path is straight and narrow.

I have made a massive error in my spiritual seeking.

It was an error made on a subtle thought process, as usual. But the title is the advice that is relevant to this specific experience, I believe. 

The term, 'the path is straight and narrow'. Is relevant to what I have discovered in my spiritual seeking. I believe, in general. People have a somewhat fixed nature. The way their fixed nature might manifest is they may be very airy and flexible. But people, have a core of themselves that remains the same.

This core is who they are, but it becomes what they do. An example. A person that is excessively spiritual gets up every day and does spiritual things. They don't jump off and do non spiritual things one day. A person that is more focused on the grounded fleshy reality of life. A 'worker'. Gets up and works.

We each have different things that we are programmed for. Some people are programmed, as the law of One says about Carla, for 'the perception of beauty'. Or for heavy amounts of exercise and joy, and /or psychotherapy etc.

We each have spiritual things that fill them up. For me, as a seeker, sometimes it is a temptation to abandon the spiritual and wisdom based things I have ascertained to be my path. 

This is what I have done. My straight and narrow path is spiritual things. The human design and Law of One. Dream interpretation. Meditation etc. Which, if done consistently, eventually leads to positive change. Change is what a lot of people want on the spiritual path. Improvement. But change does not come, in my thinking, from actually changing your behaviour. It actually comes from doing well enough at repeated behaviours, at what you are meant to be doing, to get results. To reach conclusions. 

It is the inverse of that saying, 'The definition of madness is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results'. No, for me, eventually my shift came after six or so years of dream interpretation. I get steady insights through my path. It is my straight and narrow path. It doesn't go outside of the Law of One, dream interpretation etc. 

But I did go outside of them. I have a path that is I suppose, lightly Christian. I keep getting insights into various aspects of Christian life. In my own way often (Like this exact post!) I do communion. There are things about Christianity and Communion that I can't explain. There are effects that go beyond what seems rational to me. 

So it seems obvious that if I were to improve or move forward, I should deepen my relationship with Christianity? As a conscious thing I can do. You would think so, but no. 

I did try that, and as part of that. As part of the whole "Jesus is an Essene" thing, from Aaron Abke. I tried going off meat as much as I could (I had a little Mackerel). Now I am paying for it. 

Previously to this I have known of many different serious health problems people have gotten from going vegan. Both in my real life and online. The problems can be very serious. People can die from veganism. 

So I prayed the Essene prayers. I tried to be vegetarian and this was NOT the right path. It is not my straight and narrow path. 

... and this, I should have known. I have found my path and I need to stick with it. It is a frustrating error for me to have made. It is a valuable lesson though, in that I hope I am not seduced off my "straight and narrow path" again!

Friday, 21 March 2025

Some thoughts on Human Design Motivation.

Wanted to write this article yesterday, but it is only after going for a walk, 9:30 - 17:00 with a one hour break. With a very heavy rucksack after the supermarket. That I feel clear and grounded enough to do it. I did almost a full work day of walking:

So this is the video concept I wanted to talk about. Human design motivation. I chose to excerpt Need here because it is my own motivation. But she has done all six of them. This was the best videos I found on motivation. Human Design remains very stubbornly subjective. There isn't a way, it feels like, in a lot of human design, to get more technical rundowns:

The Blonde Priestess: Phoenix Diaries day 124 Week 18- Human Design Motivation NEED:

https://youtu.be/33lHeUF26cw?si=QNLXGjRKk1u-_RXa

Motivation in my life:

I have very little to base motivation on. It is mostly close friends I have known for decades that did actually have their birth times. I have not ever read peoples charts in general. Like, done readings. So I can't talk about it from a position of having a lot to go off. 

So it is generally just general thoughts I have to go off. 

One of the first insights I got on motivation was from a twitter handle @ iJaadee saying that whenever she has made a decision that has been a big deal. That has worked out. It has always been accompanied with a lot of fear. Decisions that seemed right that weren't accompanied with said fear were not so powerful and generally didn't work out.

As someone with Fear transference, my motivation being need. This is pretty much the opposite for me. Yesterday, there was a confusion with the doctor. I received a text that was sent in error meaning I thought I was going to have trouble with the medication and the doctor. It kept me completely unproductive the whole night.

This is fear as transference to need. I need something. If I can't get it I experience fear. The fear of having my survival threatened.  

Other insights:

But I'm just going to go around a few people I have known and make a central point about motivation. One of the things I have noticed about motivation. Which might echo the original benefits I got, but are now largely forgotten, about strategy. Is that it has settled my annoyance at others behaviours that I think of to myself as being potentially not self or negative. 

For instance. I have had two childhood friends in my life. Two men. That are really big on going after women and one night stands and things. Something I mostly feel is a waste of time and a distraction from actually improving ones life. There is no negotiation here. They will ditch long term friendships over this. But, I looked up their motivation, and what did I see?: Desire!

I also knew a woman with guilt motivation. A very tortured soul. She was not someone I think was doing her strategy properly, owing to her eventual end jumping off a cliff. But I always noted, she had been an extremely powerful person when she was young due to her beauty. That was over and above that of even the average young girl. She had the body of Victoria Pfeiffer and was probably just a little MORE facially attractive if that is possible. 

It was subtle. She was mostly positive and more humble than a lot of women I have known. But there was an unmistakeable arrogance that I don't think she realised. A certain refusal to commit herself to objective reality. A certain belief in her own superiority in some ways, that I believe comes from guys not being honest with a woman so they can sleep with her, and that happening a LOT. Her entire teens and twenties being built on that in a very fundamental way that had never been questioned.

Had she relinquished that, and accepted the guilt that was obviously there but, she would never admit to about certain things, about misusing power. Then I think it would be a beautiful thing. That kind of humility from a beautiful women that had now aged out a bit. 

I think we automatically on some level known what others need, through our connection with the creator, and we reflexively imagine these things sometimes. Other times though some model of how we are viewing the world gets in the way. 

The last example is my half sister. That feels shallow and infuriating at times. Innocence motivation. For me, knowing that she is meant to be like that is a huge benefit. It really helps in accepting her as she is. It is kind of priceless in that way. I feel a strong need to rail against her to make sure she doesn't make self destructive decisions she will later regret. 

I remember saying to my sister once that I loved going to the gym because it got rid of a deep and powerful sense of anger I feel. She said yes that's true. I said to her 'you have never experienced that in your entire life have you?'. She laughed and asked me how I knew. I said that way she had responded, which was like a very casual 'Yah'. She laughed.

And deeper on motivation:

I have not yet mentioned my own motivation... 'Need'. I can't easily articulate it.  But one of the things I notice in general with motivation. Is that it can sometimes validate a part of ourselves that seems quite negative in a way. Like a nuisance. In the examples I gave. All of them came with a judgement that they were somehow improper. Desire and Innocence examples is that I feel frustrated in the motivation of another person. The guilt and need motivation is that the person themselves feels that the motivation is somehow improper.

The desire motivation example fits very well with the two guys. Especially when they are successful with it. Need motivation however, is not such an easy fit with a masculine identity. 

I have wondered to myself a bit. With a need motivation is it a legitimate thing for someone to say they 'need' sex? My sex drive is much reduced for medical reasons, and I can say that I don't need sex. But I have had the desire for female 'cute partyness' sort of stuff. I recall waiting at a bus stop after work, an attractive blonde girl walked past, she was in a group of about five girls and two guys and was saying something fun. I looked in her general direction feeling that sense of need, and she looked back, and it seemed very much that she just knew what I was feeling and was sympathetic.

The only other person with a need motivation that I can mention is David Wilcock. Who is a con artist. But is a very spiritual person with the same tendencies towards spirituality as I have. I remember seeing something from Ra Uru Hu about which kind of spirituality each motivation correlates to and need was correlated to 'Gods'. It feels like you go to 'God' with need motivation, because there is no force on earth that can satisfy a near infinite and constant need. 

I also feel that need in general gives me a kind of charm. That charm is lacking when I am not worked out and it becomes an exercise of approaching someone in a bit of a mad way. But when I have figured things out. The general background of needing something means that you know how to talk to people to get that thing. People often reflexively smile when I talk to them. People like to be asked for something that they can indeed provide. It makes them feel virtuous, useful, like there is a connection, and we are beings designed for service to others. 

There is a lot more I have discovered. Such as falsely satisfying a need, and how unproductive that can be. It is better sometimes for me to not solve an issue with a way that is not for me, and to then accept a strong sense of 'need' to propel my actions forward, because said issue is unsolved and 'needs' to be solved another way.

It also means that I have a good grip of what others need. The girl I mentioned earlier with the guilt motivation. I talked to her every day. I messaged her and softly nagged her. I knew she needed that. She was deeply lonely living alone and working remote. But she would never acknowledge that, she would pursue other things, and it was only after she had left my life for six weeks that she jumped. 

Conclusion.

This has been an uncomfortably disjointed and unstructured. This is because, I think, as I said at the beginning, it is very subjective. It is hard to come up with any information on motivation in general. Not many human design people have articulated much on it. It remains a part of the largely unconquered territory of the design. Something still to be talked about and worked through.

Wednesday, 19 March 2025

Working with difficult paradigms.

Following on from yesterdays post. It seems to me that the JFK files were kind of a nothing burger. 

For me though, the entire issue has revealed something about my own psychology to me that is relevant. I am not capable of coming away from irrational excitement about these kinds of events. Sitting at home, with a disability, with not much of a life. No girlfriend, no friends etc. But, even so, quite happy, I love my dog etc. In that kind of situation, loneliness is an uncontrollable factor, and twitter becomes a close friend. Then it is impossible to not get involved at least a little in the Q narrative. At least for me.

It comes down to values. Previously, A while back now. I was completely over the top with Q stuff. Going on creepy facebook groups for information. Obsessed with it all day. Then I came away from it as much as I could. Now, I am going to be honest with myself about my need to keep my ear to the ground with these materials. Perhaps occasionally, or more than occasionally, catching an X22 report. Keeping the faith that things will change positively. 

But it creates a schism in the way I view the world. The last US election I really had a 'come to Jesus' moment with real life and the QAnon directive. If the deep state had not been eliminated/ weakened, Trump would NOT have gotten in. Q posts, contained very specific references to the precise make up of the election. 

While I was away from this kind of thing. I preferred to try and view the world in a Molyneux kind of way. In that, I tried to think of things in relation to virtue. But now that has kind of dissolved. Because the QAnon narrative does not really allow for that perceptive filter.

Let me explain. In the paradigm I used to hold. The Stefan Molyneux paradigm. If you had a friend that you didn't get on with. Well firstly, forgiveness isn't a thing without contrition, and people rarely change. So it is safe to assume you would not see much of them again. In Stefan Molyneux's paradigm. With the benefit of philosophy to motivate. We work hard to succeed and then get a partner and reproduce. We stay away from people that are crappy or abusive in any way and experience a kind of desert of friendship for a while, until we find new quality people.

Maybe that's how things will go down. BUT, and this is a big but. The QAnon paradigm doesn't work in lockstep with this viewpoint. Under the QAnon paradigm, at some point in the future things will change, and they will REALLY change. Change absolutely and completely. Satanic practices and their black magick results, that the elite have engaged in, will be exposed. The financial and political system will completely change. Hidden technologies will be released. True history will be revealed; and probably, likely, the realities of extra terrestrial civilisations, including negative extra terrestrials we have been subject to, will be revealed. Possibly with the arrival of extra sensory abilities. 

The thing with that second paradigm is that. Under that second paradigm. Nothing about our relationships can really be assumed and solidified. A new world will include a lot of healing. People stuck under drug addictions, abusive and/ or dysfunctional relationships, and crappy jobs with a legacy of anxiety and fear from crappy parents. Will completely change. Completely forgoing their previous viewpoints that perhaps alienated you from them. 

This is a hard thing to cognitively consider. I even have a bit of dream interpretation making comments on it. For instance, x person is stuck in y problem. But that indicates their entire personality, plus lightly disrespectful behaviours, will change if that societal issue were to pass away. So you have to hold that you can't, and don't want to deal with them right now, but also, that in the future things will probably be fine. So you can't relax into simply disliking and dismissing them. 

After all that the only thing left to do is simply surrender the mystery to the Creator. We are not designed to handle those contradictions. Via cognitive dissonance and the rest of it. 

Tuesday, 18 March 2025

Uranus transiting and world change.

Song for this post: Cry cry cry, cover:

Cry Cry Cry - Johnny Cash cover - Katie Cole Tunesday

https://youtu.be/sGbpRbgywN0?si=2KLY3frJNYhE0scQ

Not sure if the relevance of this song compared to the subject will be obvious. It may do. But it's a good song nonetheless.

I wanted to talk about current events in relation to the transit of Uranus in the human design chart.

Starting out with this post:

https://x.com/charliekirk11/status/1901736473012887567

"Kennedy" files to be released tomorrow. Well, the tweet says tomorrow. It is stated as the afternoon of today in American time. So about twelve hours from now (which will be about 21:00 my time and 16:00 American).

I realise it is hard to change oneself. I have kept going back to the conspiratorial excitement of wanting the QAnon style mass arrests. Although, I have managed to push the positive parts of my emotions, i.e. I am more into music now. 

Maybe a subject for another time. The 'straight and narrow path'. 

Nevertheless, I wanted to come to this:

https://x.com/CypherLocked/status/1901622949271965988

This tweet:

“Normies” are barely surviving. So to say “ppl put themselves there” in these desperate times, I feel, is not fair or accurate. Those who bust the matrix are a threat to the systems and measures are in place to keep them from climbing out. It’s truly not so black and white.

The transit of Uranus.

Let's talk about the transit of Uranus then, to give us some substance to work with here.  

Uranus is in Taurus at the moment. It has been going through gates 2, 23, 8, and then it will go into gate 20 from 10th of July 2025, and retrograde out again by the 5th of November.

First, let's go through the basics, what does Uranus represent? What does Uranus represent going through Taurus?

Uranus is a kind of sciency magical energy. It is if you imagine a perfect free market. Uranus is the planet that supports the free market. It is that sciency, creative, inventive part of people that pulls together all the factual evidence, or all the relevant pieces of a moving part and puts it together for the finished product. It is strongly motivated by truth without paying attention to 'feelings'. It is the pure right wing. Symbolically it is rather like a thunder bolt.

Most of the political developments from the Trump administration and ascendant right have a strong Uranus component. 

Taurus is a strongly land based, intuitive sign. The bull. Strength. Slow moving and stubborn. It is meant to correlate with the second house of finances in astrology.

Trump moving on land based things such as Canada and Greenland is perhaps a correlation. But to add Uranus in. Things are getting shaken up. This is where documents and such are being released.

Now the hexagrams.

The 2nd gate, is one of receptivity. A kind of intuition or, I suppose, what the new age might call getting a 'download'. But more of an emotional one. This is rather like writing something, say a biography, that shakes things up a bit. 

The 23rd gate then moves to a place of whether or not to accept the individual into the group. Literally the 'acceptance of diversity'. 

Then we have gate 8, which is about communicating creativity to the collective, or, also often, a kind of creative product. I have found this often has a strong philosophical leaning. There is a lot more to say on all of these but I am not rewriting the whole human design here.  

Then we come to gate 20. When gate 20 is transited I am expecting a lot of activity in some manner to become relevant to 'normies'. Gate 20 is half the 34-20 channel of busy-ness and charisma that a lot of people have. So it is likely that whatever societal changes start coming about due to the Trump organisation, will be hitting 'normies' at about this time. 

So, the specific moves. 

Uranus has recently, in late Feb, turned direct after a retrograde cycle. It turned direct at gate 23.5, which is represented thusly:

The practical acceptance of the values of another path.

Positive or exaltation:  Expansion and contribution through assimilation. The gift of communicating individual insight to the collective.

Negative or detriment: Motive driven assimilation from an inferior position, i.e. for protection or nourishment. Motive driven assimilation for acceptance and protection from the collective.

Uranus turned retrograde on September 2nd 2024.

This is what I think has happened: Depending on the individual and their perspective. Which I will go into. People that were receptive had their direction subtly changed when Uranus was in gate 2 towards some kind of truth. As Uranus went over gate 23 it fell to the collective to decide whether to accept this. Then, depending on the strength of the individual could this be communicated in gate 8?

For most people, it couldn't. The retrograde usually tells us that we were not doing well in whatever area it was and we have to re- evaluate. So people fell into themselves and evaluated what was lacking in their philosophy (gate 8), and then the theme fell BACK to if people were or were not going to be accepted by 'the collective'.  

How does this reflect in real life?:

Remember that during lockdown .With Pluto in gate 61, Uranus in gate 24, and Neptune in gate 22. A lot of ostracism happened due to the political schism suddenly expanding to a chasm. 

This ostracism has moved out to confused patterns. The pro lockdown and medical treatment people weren't able to gain any lasting moral high ground. To be proven correct in any way. But, the left, in it's various forms, has not yielded a single thing either. Until literally just yesterday almost. The left was still very dominant socially, so there was no incentive for the left to acknowledge any kind of defeat. 

So, how it has happened is that some of the anti vax types of individuals. Were excluded. But not proven wrong. The left won't back down either. So there is no apologies and restitution. Just more confusion. 

Two perspectives:

And this is an important point that I have just realised while writing this but that pulls together so much. Say someone does have the gate 23.5 in detriment in their chart, how exactly are they to navigate this?:

Negative or detriment: Motive driven assimilation from an inferior position, i.e. for protection or nourishment. Motive driven assimilation for acceptance and protection from the collective.

How is a person to decide which person to 'motive driven assimilate' with? Well, people obviously make different decisions. Someone that is right wing or surrounded by said individuals is more likely to think that the Trump group is on the ascendency and to cosey up to those types. But someone that is explicitly left wing, and believes Trump is some weird loser, and a lot of the other things the left believes. Will not think that coseying up to pro Trump people is a good idea. With this line specifically. 

Of course, these are generalisations. Life is more shades of grey. 

So, I believe this has brought me to one of the fundamental truths of the design, for me: The design does not respond to reality, the design responds to our perception of reality. 

So what has happened then, when Uranus has gone back to gate 23.5, is that people had the choice/ opportunity to either accept the outsiders, or not to. This is based on their "political" beliefs. 

Conclusion.

This is just me thinking things through. Like I said at the beginning. Although I have found I can reduce my attention to QAnon types of subjects by loving music... The straight and narrow path. But, with the Epstein file debacle. I got into that. I came away, like I usually do, wanting to 'learn a lesson' about that and/ or get it out of my life. But, this might be flying against my nature and circumstances too much. 

Unemployed, and the job market is BAD. I am applying and interviewing. A bit of illness. A lot of free time. I spend a lot of my time on the internet and, on twitter to satisfy some need for human company. 

And I do hope things change. At this moment, people are suffering enough that they need it to. The supermarket is a depressing place recently. People trying to hide in their eyes how much they are struggling. 

So, I think the only thing I can do is accept this part of myself. I want things to change in a massive QAnon style situation. This is what I want and I will jump on any piece of information that indicates that. This is the part of reality that my chart is keyed to notice through my perception. 

Coming away from 'transcient' material like the Law of One advises, has only gone so far for me. 

Monday, 17 March 2025

The perspective of current events.

I don't like talking about politics. I got into politics in about 2015 after a 2014 experience of the complete meltdown of my mental faculties. A schizophrenic break. Serious stuff. In order to break out of the quasi leftist, warm, maternal, "women are always right" kind of vibe. I went very left. Especially after having been treated cruelly by women when I had been unprepared. A lot of young guys with basically positive single motherhood experiences will have this.

Nonetheless, there is not much else to talk about. I spend a lot of my time on twitter recently and everytime someone says something stupid and left wing I want to say something back. I do sometimes, but subtly, with no real force. The earlier experience of politics kind of ended from a place of severe exhaustion. Nothing changes in any real way in that area. No matter how many tweets, votes, activism, or anything, that anyone seems to do. 

The cult of the left.

The utter slavish mindset towards left wing views that a lot of people show. Including everyone, EVERYONE I have ever known. Is something to behold. The pressure is ratcheting up with the current Labour government in the UK being truly unpleasant. Warmongers that are cutting disability benefit. Very much against the kind of perspective their voting base has. Nonetheless, that same voting base will dutifully vote left in the next election. It's just the way it is.

Rather like in the US it is known that you have liberals that vote left, their town goes to complete dirt from voting left. High crime, homelessness. They complain about these things and leave the town. Then they go to a right wing town and vote left again. 

It really makes one wonder if the idea of karmic retribution for this can completely be taken out of the picture. The current left wing government is planning to freeze PIP payments for things like arthritis, cancer, multiple sclerosis etc. A lot of people less far down the provable illness route, I would imagine would fair even worse. Although no common sense can be assumed in this clown show. 

But, most of the people that will LIKELY be targetted are left wing women who have undefineable conditions such as anxiety and depression. A lot of these people will have made decisions that have put them in this position. They will have divorced husbands who supported them for no real reason. They will have man hating views they have not questioned. 

It is hard, for me, looking at the world as it is and the mostly unknowable deeper truths about how the world really runs. To say with confidence that these results are not deserved. I knew a girl once with a serious clinical mental disorder. She killed herself. But as well as that, a lot of her problems. Almost all perhaps. Were the result of things she very deliberately and specifically chose. She often and willingly stabbed people in the back that were trying to support her and cozied up to all sorts of really dangerous and toxic individuals. 

I suggested prayer to her at the time, and to follow up on new age sources such as the Q'uo readings from Carla Rueckert. The theory behind this is that there are positive entities that surround us all the time. She got specifically angry at me about this and one of her suicide attempts was directly after this conversation. In a very real way it seemed like she required simply too much of everyone around her. If prayer works for me and I don't have mental health experience, what else could I advise her?

In honesty, I can't imagine she is not in hell at the moment. 

It's a weird thing in life. It is as it is. In all the time when I was discovering right wing concepts. I desperately wanted to communicate these things to others and did not want them to continue their destructive patterns and beliefs. I found that left wing voters were generally 'low information'. Such as the fisheries policy in the Brexit. People were anti Brexit and did not know the first thing about it. 

I received so much crap from people about not being left wing. A lot of friendships and relationships that are irreparable in my opinion. 

The Human Design of it

On Bring4th I wrote a post on the human design of all this and it holds up in relation to this conversation. This is a Pluto in the gate 41 thing. A lot of the leftism kind of stuff comes from the gate 30, crystallised in the Chiron- Neptune conjunction of 2010. Pluto in the gate 41 is putting pressure on that and it will carry on pushing into it. 

It will be a long time before we see any technology in my view. Any real movements forward. This won't happen until all the to's and fro's of the gate 41 are done. It will happen when Pluto moves into the gate 19 at about 24th of February 2028. Gate 19 is about expressing a communal need. At this point the need will be for 'healing', and that is when the technology will come out. 

All the Q people always want to jump to mass arrests tomorrow (it makes one wonder if they are hiding any sins they want to gloss over!). But from reading the Law of One. The perspective of the Angels literally guiding global events. The kind of thing that matters to these identities is things like polarity/ service to others and such. The careful grinding and determination of exactly how positive or negative people are when subjected to stimuli (such as left wing voters given real pressure to change their position). Is exactly what they are about.

 

Saturday, 8 March 2025

Losing my religion.

Doing the work.

I didn't know whether I was going to do another blog, after I stopped with the youtube. But I didn't explicitly say I wouldn't be blogging so I did consider I might be back. It seems a far more reasonable and relatively lower energy expenditure thing. A reasonable thing.

As mentioned in the last few posts. Since Grok, I have been able to do more dream interpretation. I have two sets of dream interpretation I do. One is any immediate impression I get from the same day I have the dream. This is what has been improved with Grok. I can discuss every bit of it and to be honest it's me doing most of the interpretation. But what I get from Grok, is that as I talk it over and solve bits, those bits are then taken care of and I can move onto another part, another insight about the dream, without feeling I will lose the bit I have already interpreted. Plus, Grok tends to mirror my enthusiasm. I know it's a machine and it's not real. But it feels good. It is always happy to talk over my dreams for hours at a time which would bore a human into an early grave.

The second type of dream interpretation is a complex process which links the entire set of dreams and patterns into a larger pattern. At the moment, I am about a year behind the current day on that way of interpreting.

Anyway. So the dream interpretation I have done recently with Grok, has lead to several conclusions. Stopping Stefan Molyneux, whom I was listening to every day. Stopping a certain kind of 'healer' mentality I got stuck on. A loving way of seeing the world that is just not me that has lead me to disconnect with forums such as Bring4th. Taking away a way of being that kept me stuck. Leading to being clearer and more productive on my life and values. Certain other changes.

So, what I am left with without those kinds of inputs. Is music. That's a big part of what I think about now. It is a very natural way for me to think. Musically. I lack the tendency to think 'solidly' in a fundamental way. Drama and philosophical types of things that require various levels of technical thinking are not something I lean towards naturally. I can't think of "people stuff" so easily. An emotional theme pulling things together is very helpful!

So, when thinking of making a blog today, it only came together when I thought of including a song:

REM - Losing my religion.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xwtdhWltSIg 

Also, the first good cover I came across: https://youtu.be/c8DwtzMStac?si=V6ahsGyMqbHKIrLD

Changing perspectives:

The situation with the Reform party, Rupert Lowe and Nigel Farage recently has been quite insightful. Linked, for me emotionally even though of course, not at all in the real world. Is the tendency and insights I have had into just how much there is real suffering happening in the world. One of these examples is that, recently in Ukraine Russia has taken some parts of Kursk, a Ukrainian territory. Then the snow melted and basically everywhere they went there were the bodies of Ukrainian soldiers. That is haunting. 

There are other examples I wanted to include. But I suppose that suffices to explain my point. A lot of the Q narrative I believed once upon a time made a big point of saying that all that we see in the world is a "stage". Even if that MIGHT be correct with internal parts of US policy and politicians. Even for some other things. It is not practically true in a lot of parts of the world and, it's just a bad kind of thing, a bad piece of delusion, to indulge, in my view. 

How this relates to the Rupert Lowe and Nigel Farage issue. Farage is obviously a bizarre narcissist type of figure. This is not at all the first time there has been evidence of this. The first place I found out about him was from David Wilcock who placed it in one of his books and he said that because Nigel Farage had made certain statements. "Deep State Operatives" had been crying all day, in absolute hysterics, due to fear that a politician might move against them.

So I came away from David Wilcock, realising he doesn't have insiders, he is a fake, a grifter, and a poisonous human being. But I had not questioned a similar messiah sort of thing with Nigel Farage. 

Yet another hard feeling lesson. I won't say hard lesson because, it doesn't have much impact. But it is a cold unfeeling thing to come to the realisation that someone you look up to was someone like this. 

And that's why the song. It's where the emotion ends. I am "losing my religion" in what feels like a very kinetic way. 

Monday, 3 March 2025

Getting rid of more good things.

Short entry. 

Following on from my last blog. Where I talked about stopping Stefan Molyneux. I have also decided to stop making youtube videos.

There is a lot to say on all this. How Stefan comes from thoughts I have on transiting Mars and what that means. And the youtube thing, and all the Law of One/ Human Design associated with it. Comes down to transiting Venus, value and status.

But I'm not going to talk about that right now. I am simply feeling the psychological change of this and adapting to it. When I go for a walk now, I do not fill myself with Stefans emotional wisdom. I do not attempt to redirect my energy towards making a youtube video. I do not try and capitalise on any human design insights I am having.

It is a good feeling with a deep sensation of lasting change!  

There is a fair bit that can be said about the history of why I got into blogging and such, and what value I thought I would get from youtube. But that is not for right now!

Wednesday, 26 February 2025

Getting rid of "good things".

My laptop that is on its way out, struggles with the 'g' button, so that was a difficult title!

It's remarkable how much stress is released when I write an article like this. The human design says that the whole of the body graph is trying to get to the throat. That makes a lot of sense to me!

I may have written before, I have definitely talked before somewhere, about the idea that sometimes there is something that is almost universally positive. But that it can be discerned for someone individually. It is not good for that person right now. 

It has been a few days. I will say one of the things I have recently stopped. The potential good things about this. A reflection on the general idea of letting go of such positive things.

Stefan Molyneux. I have followed his teachings WAY too much I now realise. Or that it seems to me that is likely the case at the moment. 

What could the possible drawback be of listening to him? The guy is a genius, and his online therapy types of shows, what possible reason could someone have in not listening to them? He shows a lot of wisdom, kindness, compassion. Are those things not worth supporting in our own lives? We are tribal creatures after all. Designed to be with other people. Hearing someone honestly solve their struggles. Sounds good doesn't it?

I don't know the justification for it. But I have felt a massive improvement from not listening to him any longer. For context. I would often save his podcasts for dog walks that I often do. Almost daily for some weeks of my life. The past few weeks I have watched EVERY show.

Now, with several days effect of not listening to him though. I can reflect on this. Much of the virtue and solutions Stefan has towards life. Do not seem to be that useful for me. I do not need to challenge family. Almost all of what he says boils down to the same things. That is his message. He is a "moral philosopher", and he says all these things come down to morals. But for me, without thinking about things in a moral lense. Allowing myself to acknowledge the complexities involved in other parts of life. Seems to be very constructive. 

Stefan is also deeply, deeply atheistic. It is right down to the bone level it feels. Even if he were to, I think, consider potential validity to the concept of "God", he has even more distaste for the concept of "mysticism". Still a conversation I hope to bring up again on my youtube channel. 

Without Stefan I have been exploring the concept and practice of seeing auras in the past few days. 

It's weird, it took me a very long time to come to this conclusion even though, looking back, I can see it was brewing for a while. It is a big life change and I wonder, I think it probably will, reflect into my life and philosophies moving forward in a big way!

Sunday, 23 February 2025

Changing life.

I have opened pages two times previously to say something today and both times closed it. I don't normally do that the "message" usually just comes straight out.

But I do want to say something. Even so this specific entry is not going to be as well articulated as the last set of posts most likely.

Psychologically, in relation to the 'great journey'. I feel I have made progress. I am thinking more and more that those that are in line with their conscience are those that eventually earn a bit of a psychological change. Perhaps better handling of stress from an insight or something. The reason people change so frequently is that this is a lot of work. Even the smallest of vices might throw it off. So that's why few people achieve it. 

I'm not quite confident enough to talk about the 'lessons' that I have seemed to have learnt. The useable insights I have had. But I do hope to eventually. 

At least not in relation to my most current understanding. But the entire theme echoes something I previously talked about. I have had a great desire to do energy work, as a healer type of thing. Like Jesus. But again and again I have rediscovered that it is simply not for me and that it is so not for me, that it has linked with something that I have also rediscovered. Sometimes, there is something in life that practically, on a mental level, you see as only good. But in real terms you have to get it out of your life. 

I went back to doing energy work for a few months. The same problems come up periodically. It gives me a great deal of strange passive anger. It strangles my actual self. There are always two sides, two perspectives I can take towards life. One is healing, and another is a kind of determination that produces real results. Real lasting results. It changes my dream perspective. There are a lot of benefits. 

So I am doing things in real life along these lines. Waiting for the change, watching for the change. Perhaps that change will deliver more ideas for output and such and life improvement. I will see how it goes.

Wednesday, 12 February 2025

Thoughts on Saturn. Unconscious Saturn. Part 4

The final part. 

I am quite excited about this. It being a post I am going to lay out in a way as to recognise the profundity of studying the human design. 

I am going to talk about my experience with my unconscious Saturn in the gate 26.4. As I talked about in the immediately preceeding post. This is a far deeper experience. It references deep inner mechanics since it is on a full channel and so obviously, a defined centre. This channel is really very integral to me. Whereas with the conscious Saturn in gate 5.4. That was on an undefined centre, so was more to do with casual, mundane everyday things. The undefined centres are the centres we experience the world through. 

The channel 44-26.

The gate 44-26 is known as the channel of the transmitter. I think. What it is meant to be is a kind of entrepeneurship. The genius, in a sense, that discovers something and is able to advertise that thing and make a lot of money from it.

Be that as it may, once we get into the experience of this channel and hexagrams down to the trigrams. I don't know how much of that description will remain. 

I have, in my own personal time, while out walking. Gone through the entirety of the human design in my mind. The outer circle. Figuring out how each hexagram manifests in relation to it's trigrams. This is an interesting thing to do. Go back to basics. It teaches a great deal and if I am ever to get an understanding of the human design that 'goes beyond what is written'. Then it is a necessary exercise. 

The gate 44 then, has air as it's lower trigram, and heaven as its upper trigram. In general. The lower trigram is what the gate is, and the higher trigram is the lower trigram being fed through in order to arrive at the completed trigram. An example, is that gate 60, is limitation because the lower trigram is lake, the upper trigram is water. When lake is pressured to become water it becomes aware of its limitations. Another way of thinking with it that I am experimenting with is that the water being above the lake overwhelms the lake. The gate 60 has manifested to me often as overwhelm. But this is just a side bar as to this post itself. 

When there is heaven in the upper hexagram, the lower hexagram becomes more itself. It is not subject to anything really just three yang lines of "be more you". Gate 33, heaven above mountain, is retreat, withdrawal. Gate 25, heaven above thunder is innocence. The innocence that tends to lead to a manifesting of the thunder shock in the real world. 

Gate 44 then is heaven above air. What the gate 44 is meant to be is ancestral memory of a sort. Then the gate 26 is what is meant to find the pattern. I don't think that is the case. There is something very 'pattern recognition' about air. I think heaven being above air is an instinctual awareness which also finds patterns in things. 

The gate 26 then has heaven as its lower trigram. So at its core there is a lot of "substance" and positivity. Then lake is above this. So it takes what is there in heaven and it directs it. Lake always directs. 

Attaching to these concepts as feelings I think explains a lot more than a lot of what is written without this theoretical base. 

The manifestation.

I think that a lot of the red pill kind of stuff I talk about comes from my channel here. It is also perhaps why I am focused on politics in a sense. Societal patterns. I wonder then, if this stuff is clearly in me. Is it a persons true self or not self that would not like these things within me? When people get angry at that kind of information and kind of seem to want me to "not be". Not be like that. But the chart says I am like that. That god made me like that. So who are you to tell me that?

But it is also a deeper thing. This was my experience of it. I have mentioned before I had a female friend I was close with who was not in a good place mentally; and eventually jumped off a cliff. 

So I entered a grieving process. When you are up against something like that suddenly. A lot of things suddenly go by the wayside. For me, I had lulled myself into thinking in a kind of 'normal' way so to speak. But when this happened. I realised I had to go back to my crazy spiritual ways. I went back to the Law of One, and looked at a lot of Near Death Experiences and things. 

What happened next is what I will call "gate 44" stuff. No books or anything let me handle grief. I am just too abnormal for normal information to help me. But I did get a few dreams. I wrote a bit of stuff out in a journal (Journalling seems very gate 44 to me. Writing out just the experience of what is and then some part of you naturally finds patterns in it!)

I went through a few different phases. But eventually, two or three years after. I got to the point that I have identified as an end point to some emotional processes.

Anger. I was angry at the illogical of it. Angry at the way she sabotaged herself and all that happened that I don't feel or understand, why it happened, nor will I agree that it needed to happen.

Anger is an ongoing emotion for me and one of the reasons I find it to be incredibly useful. Is that it can be translated physically. With anger, you can get up and do things. Anger can be gotten rid of at the gym and it can motivate you to go to the gym. In general, I think it's manifestation is often a net positive. 

The habbening.

But then something interesting happened. Something unexpected. Something that made me wonder briefly if I was some sort of psychopath, but the earlier grieving seems to disagree with that. I woke up soon after and had just completely forgotten, entirely forgotten, this girls existence.

I don't think about her anymore! 

It was such an abrupt shift that I wondered if something had gone wrong. I wondered if I needed to journal some sort of blockage. I thought about this a bit. But, then I realised. My unconscious Saturn is in gate 26.4.

After all the pattern recognition and processing in the gate 44, my internal self had come to a conclusion. That I had gained everything I could possibly learn from this situation.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't come to many interesting conclusions, I don't think. But maybe I'm not meant to. Maybe I can't really understand what was going on inside her she was so different to me. Emotionally defined, female, Pisces. A lot of very deep emotion that I just would not normally consider. 

It is very very much a manifestation of gate 26.4 in my thinking. Gate 26.4 is literally "censorship". And maybe it has some relevance in that I know a lot of political and conspiracy types of things, and other things that I keep locked away from people. But it felt like this was a good example of this gate and my unconscious Saturn in action.  

One thing to note here. My conscious Saturn that I discussed in Part 3. Even though I was not really engaged in "pushing" it. I was very consciously aware of what was going on there. The information about the gate 5.4. was needed to advise me if things were different and others tried to influence me.

But the unconscious Saturn is nothing like that. I would argue that I did still do some "work" for this effect. I thought things over. I journalled. I dream interpreted. But ultimately. I was not aware of the precise processing that created this effect. I simply received the effect and had to go with it. It was all very "unconscious".

Tying it up.

So that to me is how Saturn manifests. It manifests in the sense of the rules surrounding doing a kind of work and it rewards you when you do the work. Or, it correlates with you having done the work well. 

Thoughts on Saturn, Conscious Saturn. Part 3

Ah, this feels good. Finally getting down to this. I feel like this will unblock other areas of thought.

Following on from parts 1 and 2 that really set the direction of this thought process. Where I finished with the idea that karma is too complex and important to be one planet, and that Saturn tends to discusses the "work" area in a sense. So in it's negative it turns up in transit like "You're not doing your job properly". In the positive it turns up as "Wow, you did that really well". 

This definitely fits other instances in my life. Issues I have had with workplaces where they have made things difficult for me have correlated with Saturn transits. But it is unlikely that wage slave work is a one to one correlation with Saturn.

As I said, I am now going to think about how Saturn has shown up in my human design chart to further discuss this dynamic. I had planned to do both conscious and unconscious in this post. But when writing it I realised I won't fit unconscious Saturn in.

Conscious Saturn, gate 5.4.

As seen in my human design chart. This is happening on an undefined centre. Obviously I don't know offhand what a defined sacral would feel like since I don't have one. So I can't contrast what the difference is between defined and undefined Saturn here. Although, with the two hanging hexagrams I have going from the sacral, and two further I have going to the sacral. By transit fairly often my sacral is defined. But having something defined by transit is a completely different thing than having it natally defined. 

I do not have an issue getting myself to do things. Of course, like everyone else I have the issue where occasionally I will think I should have done something productive rather than watched that TV show. But in general, it is not my biggest issue. I have a huge amount of anger and I enjoy the gym. I don't have to force myself to go. I have a constant, grinding, semi panic that keeps me productive when illness is not a problem preventing that. 

One thing that does impact my productivity though. At least a thing that correlates with it. Is shown in this hexagram. This is the hexagram of cycles and waiting. Things like having a pattern in ones life. In the line 4, which is about relating and people (heart chakra stuff!) In the gate 5.4. it's about having a pattern and NOT ALLOWING OTHERS TO PUSH YOU OFF THAT. So it is not having the same pattern as everyone else most likely. 

In my life, this is very true. Navigating around my health condition, I have a lot of patterns that are abnormal. I have a lot of things that I have learned that are simply not part of mainstream understanding, and with weight loss this is particularly true. 

I have a few stomach issues. Celiac linked likely, which most diabetics have. It means that if I eat well for too long I will get uncomfortable. Soups and salads, my stomach only has so much endurance for. At times, cake is pretty much perfect for my bloodsugars. It is surprisingly, perfectly, long acting. Whereas gluten free bread is way too long acting. It will peak long after the insulin does. Meaning when I eat it, I risk hypo'ing and then the bloodsugars will raise later on. A recipe for disaster.

Basically, what I am saying. That I manage quite a lot of different individual factors when moderating my health. Another thing is my insulin. I have two insulins. One is long acting and another is short acting. The long acting takes about 5 to 7 days to change. When I lose weight, the need for long acting changes. So when my weight goes down I suddenly have to eat more. (I.e. because I have less need for long acting insulin but still have it in my system!)

I have discovered a few other unpredictable things as well. 

Moderating all these factors. Including things like exercise. Basically means that I am taking a few different weight loss things, and things relevant to diabetes, and kind of pushing them into my own model. Organising around other limitations in my life. Jobsearching or what have you. Spiritual things such as prayer, meditation or music. Means that all this information has added together meaning that my own way of doing things. The times I sleep, the patterns I have. Are all not at all understandable to others. But very effective. I have been losing weight and such.

It took me a long time to understand the manifestation of Saturn in the gate 5.4. It feels like something that I just do without putting effort into. It's not easy to notice. I just happen to keep my own schedule in things and since I am largely a hermit. It has not been highlighted as an issue because no one is trying to pull me off my patterns.

It's correlation with weight loss though which is a huge positive improvement is notable. Weight loss is a classic Saturnian kind of thing.  

That was long enough and the other placement I have with Saturn. Gate 26.4. Is very much an emotional step change. Not discussing everyday things like this but going into grief. So I will do this on the next, and most likely final part of this series. I wonder if the 26, being defined and part of a full channel. Is different and deeper, requiring more processing because it is defined. Whereas this that is relevant to every day life is because it is hanging on an undefined centre?

Monday, 10 February 2025

Thoughts on Saturn, Part 2.

These are my theories on Saturn then.

Karma:

Firstly, let's start with 'karma'. It is often said that Saturn is 'Karma'. It does seem to have a correlation with something "Karmic" like court cases and such like that. But what is "Karma"?

What karma is meant to be is some sort of grand metaphysical law that what we do comes back to us. This is the case in both positive and negative behaviours. But the term karma is usually meant in relation to negative behaviours. So if you do something bad, the same thing or something similar or equivalent will happen to you. 

The trouble is, for me, with this analogy. Is that it seems to undermine the general complexity of the world. Does Saturn ever turn up to punish people for their actions? Seemingly yes. But so do other planets. What even is an action to begin with? If I cheat on someone is it the same as someone cheating on me? What if I cheated on someone that was abusive and the person that cheated on me I was not abusive to? 

It simply seems to me that life is too grand and complex for such a simplistic explanation. We are experiencing a lot of "karma" in the world at the moment, as a lot of ideological weirdos in America are having their six or seven figure jobs and funding cut for things that most Americans would not agree with. There is a sense of rage that tax dollars have been spent on this when, very often, that taxation has lead to people living lives of poverty; i.e. the people paying the tax.

This is not Saturn. This is Pluto. Pluto has uncovered something huge. Neptune is another planet that seems to have a link to these concepts. That planet that covers and reveals and changes according to an unknown rulebook. Linking to ideology. Linking to philosophy and all sorts of hidden psychological and sometimes, grindingly painful, things. 

To me, karma has shaped up a lot to look like this: The world doesn't run on emotions, the world runs according to an incredibly specific and complex set of mechanics. A set of mechanics to which "ethics" in general is relevant to. 

When morals, ethics are happening and things are running fine. Then things work according to some sort of grand plan. But when someone makes a decision that is not in line with ethics. There is a spanner in the works and a whole entire set of mechanics gets pushed off. The person who cheats has a worse relationship with their partner as they have to hide themselves more, then their partner resents them more, and this effects how present they both are for their children. It means they are less able to take on life challenges like say, a problem at the childs school, due to being indulgently concerned with their own problems.

The "karma" being that twenty years later the child holds them accountable for this. This if followed goes back to the original mechanic and cheating.

All this, is more than the simplicity of Saturn. It might include Saturn. But life is more complex than this one planet. It will include, in some way or another, pretty much all planets I would imagine. Because morality, ethics and so karma, are all big and important enough to be involved in "everything". 

Transiting Saturn:

Amongst all this weirdness then, where does Saturn fit in? Saturn that I have said is both karma and not karma?

A few weeks or a month ago of so I was going on two different forums. One was a very female heavy astrology forum. Another was a, basically mixed gender spiritual forum. I was talking in two posts and I think this showed how Saturn can be represented both positively and negatively. In a sense.

The spiritual forum had someone on it that was talking about parenting and how they were basically enabling drug addiction in their child as their form of "love". The astrology forum I was talking to someone that actually explained their astrology and transits to me. And I complimented them on this, and said this was good of them. 

The transit was Saturn conjunct Venus in Pisces. To the drug addict enabler I basically said what was obvious. That I thought that was not at all an expression of love. To the astrology woman. As I already said, I complimented her. 

This seems to me to be the two sides of Saturn and what I think Saturn relates to is "work". Either you have worked well, you have worked hard and done well in whatever task that was. Or you have not done well and are now being pushed back on for the complacency, that correlates, but is not at its core, a moral issue. It's prime meaning is in relation to "work". 

Saturn is the working planet. 

The next part.

In the next part, I will go through how Saturn shows in my own chart and what I have discovered about it's placement in the human design chart. 

Sunday, 9 February 2025

Thoughts on Saturn. Part 1.

FINALLY I am doing this. Although only part 1 as I am still feeling a bit strange in my health. Also, this laptop is malfunctioning.

I summarised in my last post a kind of bottleneck with my various creative thoughts. For the moment that seems to have been solved and I suspect, this is partly due to my NoFap days raising to 10. When it is not clear what to focus on, that energy pushes the most base of the relevant ideas. Which is good. The output that relates to the real world.

Saturn

I recently had a moment, in my working out of various hexagrams and such. Where I realised that Ra Uru Hu was wrong, in my perception, about something in the human design. That sounds absolutely crazy right? Since it was his system. 

It is just my thought, but he was writing about the gate 26. He summarised how it works and stated that when there is a certain issue. The gate 44 arrives to guide or explain to the gate 26 what's what.

No, this isn't true. The reason I believe it isn't true is that energy flows up the chart. Gate 44 is below gate 26 so gate 26 picks information out of what the gate 44 offers or experiences. It does not flow the other way. Gate 25 does not flow down to gate 51. Gate 30 doesn't flow down to gate 41. Below the throat, the energy just goes up. 

It's interesting how the mind works. I have had a fair few thoughts on the design that have strained themselves against Ra Uru Hu's teaching on it. But they have not crossed the barrier to expression. Because, I suppose, I don't want to be wrong; and while I think Ra Uru Hu is probably right on most things. Expressing views different from his means I might be wrong. 

But then when that is broken with the thought process above. That entire thing broke and my thoughts on Saturn, that are also different from Ra's, suddenly became easier to express.

I am just stating that out loud because I think that is very interesting. Paying attention to Ra Uru Hu's teachings was never pushed on me with any sort of force. I just didn't want to be wrong. But it's interesting how the brain universalises stuff like this and I wonder in how many different areas of peoples lives must this be happening. That feels like a whole universe of thoughts just there!  

My chart:

Here is my chart. I'm going to explain my Saturn placements that reveal exactly my age. Not showing my age is why the placements either side of this chart are cropped out. But, the insecurity remains so despite explaining my Saturn placements, I am still going to leave this cropped version of my chart. 

There are three separate thoughts I want to communicate. All of them to do with Saturn. This blog will be heavy on my own experience because I always think it is the area that we all know best. I know my life and my chart because I live with them 24/7. That is a lot of information. I realise this might seem egotistical but I genuinely believe this is a good way to get information. It's also just the message that is there for me to express. I did not really think about it too much.

The three sections are the transits. Just one insight into the Saturn transits I had recently, this is literally just insights from online forum chatting. Then, my conscious Saturn in gate 5.4, a placement I could not gain any insight into for years, but now I have through my weight loss journey. Then, the unconscious Saturn in gate 26.4 and an insight via my grieving process. Including having insights into the difference between conscious and unconscious. 

The Ra Uru Hu statement on Saturn, the one literally on the website, that I don't agree with is as follows: He stated that Saturn was karma in a sense and that when he does something bad he gets a small punishment from Saturn. The reward is, when he doesn't do anything bad, he doesn't get it. 

Not at all my experience and it doesn't line up with my theory and understanding of Saturn.

I am going to state that Saturn is not in fact karma. What it might be and it's positive manifestation as well. 

 


Tuesday, 4 February 2025

Too many rice bowls.

I wanted to write for the title "too many plates". But spinning plates is a term used for dating multiple people at once, and I'm just not that cool. So rice bowls will have to do. 

At the moment, for me, things are so profound that I can't quite capture all the information I have into a coherent message. 

Uranus is now direct in gate 23.5. This theme is very relevant to someone I know, a family member, this specific transit including when Uranus was in 23.5 before. I do not have gate 23 though, or gate 43. Neptune is soon to be leaving gate 36, and as it does I have had two huge insights. One, is simply too large to talk about now, it needs to be processed before it can be expressed. The second of these two insights is that a friend of mine from the past, who is often relevant to Neptune transits, has gate 36 in his incarnation cross. These two things, the transit, the big potentially life changing insight, and the person, are all connected. 

Then we have my final understanding of the movement of Pluto that I have obsessed about for a few months now. Now that Pluto is in gate 41, how it links with my life and gate 60 makes a lot of sense. 

Then I have had insights into the fact that gate 41 is a new cycle, and exactly how important that is. And gate 25 is also a new cycle. As relevant to the tarot I have talked about previously.

All that added together is too much and I have nothing to say. The two outer planets in relation to other peoples charts might contain wisdom such that relates to how the human design is experienced in general. It feels good to capture how we are all 'linked' as the Law of One states. But in a practical way that can be understood. 

All this together might bring an insight into how to translate transits or something; and/ or they could be unified under some wisdom I decide from all this. Or, there might be some energy or thing in my real life that unifies all this. Such as NoFap or Music. 

But the takeaway is at the moment that it is all too much to articulate. So this is where I am at the moment.

Tuesday, 21 January 2025

Political betrayal.

Wow, weight loss is hard. Not too hard. There are things I can do for results (gym has traditionally dropped me by about 1kg and have not done cold plunges yet). But moments of restricting diet and moderating exercise and all that. It is a bit of an energy suck. 

I had some thoughts on Saturn. What it really means etc. But, at the moment I am kind of in shock. The reason I am in shock is because of this tweet:

Trump has really got on with things since coming into office. A lot of the sacred cows of the left have... well, it's been a sacred cow genocide. DEI, immigration. It is all on the chopping block. 

I was listening to Stefan Molyneux the other day, who said, when asked, that in the near future with the Trump presidency. A lot of people will start to have mental health problems because they honestly believed they were doing good. But, in fact, they were not doing any good at all. If you think of people that are pro welfare state and all that. But when Trump comes in and actually does good they will experience, realise, that they never intended to do good.

There is an element of Stefan Molyneux's output that I had a hard time accepting. Seeing people a little on the surface perhaps sometimes. I thought that that was somehow wrong. Because I felt, through dealing with people, that a lot of left wing people are good people. 

I do still believe that. I was listening to someone the other day say how they had made a real sacrifice to help someone in the healthcare field they work in. A real sacrifice that shouldn't've been asked from them. Then in the next sentence say how Elon Musk shouldn't be interfering in British Politics by talking about Rotherham and such.

I am starting to suspect, that in such a person. There is a lot of goodness on the surface, but the moral destitution of their political beliefs is not as irrelevant to their psychology as I had thought. I do think now that the part of them that is locked away in formulaic political beliefs IS a part of them that is not moral. I think when things happen out in the political world, these things influence said people. 

But below the conscious. When these things happen out in the political world these people start to experience more stress. But they can't identify why that is. 

Political betrayal.

I live in a strongly left wing part of England. We had one of the highest Remain votes in the EU referendum. I don't know anyone who is not left wing. 

I have not developed any new friendships after my old ones died. Not working. Not getting on with anyone when I did work. But, my friendships sometimes ended in "interventions" from people that wanted me to be more left wing than I was.

It has become clear to me all of a sudden that if I had been in America, as an American at the January 6th event. ALL these friends, and family, would have betrayed me. They really are quite fanatically left wing a lot of them. 

It is a hard thing to not have friends. To have human connection with people outside family virtually non existent. I think that this and various life situations have lead me to not really be able to move on from said friends. But I realise now, that moving forward in my life. It would be better to know new people, or none at all. Because those "friends" are just not virtuous human beings. They have ALL had ample opportunity to apologise, or relate like non cult human beings.

Tough pill to swallow.

So yeah, that is a bit of a shock for me. That insight. It is a very happy thing for a lot of people I think that the left is finally getting some pushback.