Gods plan and the red pill.

I feel strongly guided, I feel that it is one of the most useful things I can do in my life. To read the Law of One. There may be a time in the future where I have less free time. If our society improved and I was more physically healthy and able to get a job. When looking back on this time, how would I have liked to have spent it? Reading the Law of One is one of the best uses of said time I can think of. 

This blog is partly formed emotionally by this. Many times I am drafting a blog in my mind. Sometimes these can be written I imagine, or sometimes, the energy will just abandon me as I sit down to write. But when reading the Law of One. Some shift, some insight, will change my fundamental way of looking at things. If an idea feels like it has been formed by anger. The information will remain but the anger will disappate

Reading through session 72. I have not even finished it yet. But the insights into healing and energy in general are profound. 

What I am thinking of though. Is... women. As I have gotten into meditating, red pill types of content has become more satisfying. 

When I saw the AWFUL's and the Minnesota situation. Middle class liberal women literally becoming violent. Also sometimes when I go on spirituality focused reddits and such. I am surprised at the fanatical obedience to the leftist cause that a lot of women have. 

There are many things to consider here. Many ways that I wonder if there is some deeper message afloat. Some deeper spiritual meaning. 

One thing that I did not know when I was younger. One thing that was not at all made clear to me and has become something to think over. Is that women, young women, have a fantastic amount of attention going to them at all times. A young girls DM or text messaging folder will be filled with a lot of guys. All starting with just basic introductory messages. "How are you?" and such. 

I remember being at a bus stop and overhearing a young girl. Between 16 - 20. She said she had gone to a bar with her friends and they had an acquaintance there and somehow, the conversation had come about that her and her friends could go there whenever they want for free food and drinks. 

If I was not mistaken I thought this girl wanted my attention as well. As though she did not have enough already. 

As much as women scream when any "red pill" information is brought up. That it is all just hate against women. This kind of thing, the fact that women have all this attention, is very important for me to know. Blue pill sources are not going to highlight this. When I was young, it often confused me how unaffected women were if my attention was present or removed. How quickly they are able to move on. But it makes sense if they have a million other options. 

Female psychology is different to make psychology, partly due to environment, but also, in relation to hormones. Men have 16 times as much testosterone as women. Meaning men have the desire to push forward, to succeed, and to gain in status. 

This is a fundamental difference I think, in outlook. Men both have the power and desire to gain status. But they also start with very little status. Young men, outside some very dark things with pdf files and things, are not able to go to bars with their friends and have the hot girls in the kitchen tell them that they can come any time for free food. They do not have a million friends in their inbox. 

Mens status is connected to their work and money a lot more than womens is. 

This is why men are always challenged to "be better", where womens self help books have more enphasis on 'love yourself', and 'you are a being of infinite worth'. This is also why female writers and directors tend to create female characters that are Mary Sue's. Because from a female perspective, people just are of a certain quality. There is no climbing the ranks. Because in our distant past, almost all women reproduced. One man would reproduce out of every seventeen women.  

One finding in social sciences is that in every single society, men are more interested in politics than women. Women are simply not that naturally interested in politics I don't think. But they are interested in knowing all the relevant information that allows them to fit in. One of the few ways womens power of reproduction can be opposed is ostracism from other women. 

So while men want to know all the relevant things in the society. To potentially gain status from that among other things. I think women in general have two relevant behaviours here: A) They don't absorb politics to know the truth, but to conform. B) Because things generally come to them, rather than them needing to reach for things, they are not inclined to more deeply research a lot of things. 

This is all fairly basic. This is a big explanation as to how things are like they are. That women are used to kind of being served and the propagandists come to them. Obviously though there is a kind of spiritual component. Being constantly served, like the girl at the bus stop, brings a level of narcissism. In a way, the experience of these women, who have probably never been told they are wrong in their lives, committing to a leftist cause and being proven wrong, might be good for their spiritual growth. 

There is another element of this too though. 

The more left wing a society becomes. The more it is about high tax. The more social mobility decreases. With the way the globalists have fixed society. Social mobility has all but stopped. 

In a society that is 'socialist'. Where social mobility isn't really a thing. A girl can be fairly unpleasant to a guy, and there won't likely be any pushback. Because she can accurately assess his current status, and this will not change. 

But in a more capitalist/ free society, as Trump is transitioning to. He is going literally zero tax, meritocratic hiring etc. A guy that is relatively low status feels a hunger and attempts to redress this - and through hard work and such, he actually can; and the society benefits from this. So the guy that was once low status, might become higher status. Men in general have more power. It is a far more difficult world to navigate. It also includes more consequences for women for behaving in an unloving way. 

I saw a video the other day of a women on tik tok talking about her experiences with women. She said that she cannot tell even the mildest joke to them. She tried to make a joke about 9/11 and other women responded with horror. But, as she said: "Then if you make a joke about guys suddenly they're all comedians, right?"

This is the attitude of someone with an almost aristocratic level of privilege.  

Where this all leads me is to casually wondering if this might all tell us something about "Gods plans". Pre 2020, most guys were working hard and not really questioning a lot of this. However, we now have an issue that men are not approaching women, and men are not going to singles events and such like that. This is due to the red pill. Not the theory. People aren't rooting through Rollo Tomassi's books on dating app statistics and social theory. This is due to things like street interviews with women saying they are dating four men at a time. 

I wonder then, if the reason that things worked like this "behind the scenes". Is that men serve women. To push against that is hard work as it is very instinctual. A man gets himself together as best he can, then what? What to do with all that energy, fertility, money etc? But we have got to the point, informed by a broken economy and such, where that energy has stopped largely. It means that men are not paying lipservice to left wing stuff. They are paying womens bills less. So with that degree of separation, it becomes more possible to see what is actually going on in a lot of these women.  

The perfection of Gods plan (illness).

One of the things that has often bugged me, as part of my thinking over a lot of the kind of things that this blog discusses. Is that if everything is perfect, as the Law of One kind of states. How does illness interact with that? Illness just doesn't seem perfect really does it?

I have wondered before, if the Law of One was kind of lying about illnesses in general. In their respect of free will, they did not want to reveal that illness is basically a government program. Made up of Vax's and weird things that they put in our food. 

Jury is still out on that. But as I meditate properly again. As I really commit to prayer and such. I do feel as though I am starting to have more insights along this kind of area:

Youtube: Dr Melissa Sell: Your symptoms are not mysterious. (January 22nd 2026)

https://youtu.be/nrAOUGchJ2Q?si=ry-_EkecNYO5K4to 

If we look at symptoms this way, they are kind of perfect. I cannot easily recall the examples given in German New Medicine. But it is things like if we feel threatened in our territory, then our bladder expands so we can mark it. The theory expands out to a lot of areas. That diabetes, as an example, is where we experience early shock, and our body send an emergency signal back to our bodies. Exhausting the pancreas with the sudden need for huge amounts of sugar. 

This kind of correlates with how the new age sees these healings in some ways. Louise Hay, and the Law of One itself. But there is an additional feature with German New Medicine that it all relates strongly to Evolutionary Psychology matters. 

It all makes a lot more sense and is a lot more satisfying than looking up things on energy healing. There is something solid to grip in all this. 

So in this manner. Illness, though painful. Would be kind of perfect in a way. It would be the natural functioning of the body. In the diabetes example, it is the body's response to trauma. 

I expected this post to go differently. But I suppose that the way it has gone has gotten around my free will concerns. Directly saying what my thoughts are on my own condition might be relevant to those. 

But suffice to say, that I have been having very deep insights from my meditations. I have a health issue. I have many in fact. I have one big central one and a few other smaller ones. (Digestive problem, skin rashes etc.) 

My meditation today. I got it right again. As I said I hope I will get it right frequently. Deep within the meditation. At 12 minutes. I got an insight. At 24, I got the real insight. Hopefully, it will lead to an improved health outcome for one of my minor problems. It all fit. What was going on in my life when the health problem started etc. 

There is another aspect of this though. Something else that is relevant. 

A lot of these issues, a lot of these health problems come down to generally unpleasant people in our lives. I suspect strongly, that the "love is the only purpose" kinds of people in a lot of spiritual communities. The kind that promote forgiveness without contrition. Their general philosophies and way of being are directly against these kinds of insights and resultant healing. 

Of course they would not directly own up to it. Like how I described negative philosophies as generally shifting (In my post on the 31st, "Reflections on Negative Philosophies"). A lot of these negative philosophies. Because they are defined in opposition to a positive philosophy. They don't really have a central point and thus, simply change their form to oppose said positive philosophy when challenged. 

The example I gave, with determinism. Is that sometimes people describe about determinism that it is due to all our actions being determined by your genetics and need for survival. When challenged, that there are many people that oppose the need for survival. It will then shift to being a theological argument. 

People that promote "forgiveness without contrition" kind of arguments. the argument will shift in a similar way. The motivating force is cowardliness and the enabling of evil doers. So when you speak to them. They might say "Oh, you don't need to see the person and absorb abuse, forgiveness doesn't mean seeing someone". But in the real world, when someone is in communication with a bunch of Christians that believe this, they will in fact push them to see their abusive family members. 

So, the spiritual ideas on 'love', and what is in practice "infinite cowardliness". Are a direct opposition to actual healing. 

When the curtain comes down.

I went on twitter today, and have decided to not log onto twitter for a while. There were so many posts about recent Epstein file and related information, that I thought I'd take a break. 

I need to go through a bit of personal history to explain how I see this recently. But it is under the paradigm (another word doesn't fit!) of attempting to follow the teachings of the Law of One. So because I think the Law of One is important, I am going to explain it best I can, even if it goes through boring territory. 

When I was somewhere between 15 and 25. I first studied the Law of One. I did not apply much of it. I thought through a lot of things like trying to solve a puzzle and I suppose it did lead me to a whole lot more "service to others" things than I would otherwise have done. But I did not apply all of it. A lot of it I just kind of memorised and didn't really used. This is not an uncommon occurence, I don't think. With how people experience various insights and teachings. 

One of the teachings I did not apply was the Law of One's perspective on 'transcient' information. I do not have an understanding of this teaching directly from the text. But, I have been slowly working through its relevance. Like, when I was still paying close attention to conspiracy information. When I would stop, I would have insights into my psychology and stuff. My normal process. 

After my "schizophrenic break" at 27. I was not able to meditate and was disinclined from spirituality in a way I had not been before. In fact, I deliberately did bad stuff to suppress the madness within. Conspiracy was that. 

During my kind of worship of David Wilcock, as I see it now. And my obsession with conspiracy theory. I also had a lot of anger towards leftists around me. I was an annoying schizophrenic truther. I did keep myself to myself a great deal. I still believed in the Free Will. But, I felt passionately about these things and wanted others to come around to my views. So I would discuss right wing politics and do things like read the Qur'an and talk to people about that. The Islam angle is a bigger part of conspiracy information in the UK. 

It was at this point, where what is going on in the world at the moment would have been amazing to me. It would have been what I really wanted. I did not only want the truth to be revealed. But the people surrounding me to be forced to acknowledge it. So that I would not be the mad person that believes in QAnon, but would actually be right about these things and also, so that what would logically follow. Mass arrests and a golden age of humanity, would also follow. 

On top of basic information I also had absorbed a great deal of Pizzagate type of stuff. The full horror aspect that I won't go into here. I thought that this horror being exposed to generally left wing centrist people that refused any of this was a kind of karma. 

This is the main emotional point I wanted to bring up here. Since there are probably people freshly awakening that are experiencing this. And are pushing forward the Epstein information due to this. I was never able to get any official information to back up my perspective. It was a different time. 

However, my life and my perspective changed. Bear in mind that I have been pretty much "awake" since I was 14. In investigating my medical condition, I realised they were not seriously trying to cure it. 

Come COVID lockdown, and the energy of conspiracy was winding down. Friends and family wrote me angry letters and said they were not seeing me again due to right wing viewpoints. Or just ghosted me. But I discovered dream interpretation. Which was always the solution against the schizophrenic stuff. I was able to meditate again and started praying and such. My "Christian path" so to speak. Was maturing. 

But as I have gone through all this. Years of looking at the conspiracy stuff in detail. Several elements are relevant. I have looked closely at it and having been interested in it, got to the point where it is less interesting. Things are more interesting when you first look at them. I have thought through the whole thing from a spiritual or philosophical perspective. Emotionally, it is hard to not try and incorporate a lot of very dark information into my world view. As an example, times when prayer has not worked for people. 

Most recently though. Now that I am properly reading the Law of One, and properly meditating. My meditations are an experience all of their own. It allows me to truly not be interested in that conspiracy stuff. I have experienced it. I have looked at it in the past. I experience it as disturbing the positive state I am in when I meditate and such. 

There is a deceptive belief I have observed. That somehow, by not looking at stuff, you are not honouring the victims or something like that. That they had to experience all that, and you are not even going to read about it. 

But, that is not relevant. I always wanted to be able to genuinely, emotionally experience a lack of interest in transcient types of information. Now we are here, now it seems like things are starting to actually move. This is exactly what I am experiencing. 

It would be an interesting twist of fate if everyone else starts getting interested in this now; and all I wanted to do was meditate and play music.  

Reflections on negative philosophy

Oh man, plumbing problem. So a few days away from blogging or even thinking of these things. No meditation.

I am just rebuilding myself a little after life chaos. Like, eating properly and stuff. But one of the things I did to chill recently. Is started a fight on reddit.

It was on a male, and probably older male focused subreddit. But I engaged in a philosophical discussion about determinism. It was a good enough subforum for me to passionately state my case, without being haranged and banned. They could handle conflict.

It started indirectly. I responded to something someone said and then got the idea to challenge the forum from what I have understood of Stefan Molyneux's understandings of determinism. 

But I learnt something I think. Or I observed something that I think illustrates an important point. 

I also, when looking for this material, went through my notes on Stefan Molyneux. I found them unbelievably profound and, for whatever reason. While I have retained a good deal of what he talks about. There is a lot I also haven't seemed to retain. A lot of things I read from my notes were as though I was reading for the first time. 

Anyway, Stefan Molyneux's argument against determinism. Not his full argument. Because he has many hours on it. But his argument from a podcast that was, 5682 "Determinism murders virtue". But just that podcast that I have already listened to makes several interesting cases. And it became my material to argue against the group of people I was arguing against, who were HEAVILY pro determinism. 

It is a good, intuitive argument, I think. But still, one pattern emerged. My understanding of determinism is that it is a philosophy that strips moral agency from people, by putting down the idea of free will. So an example from Stefans podcast, which none on that forum argued against, is that if a person is a determinist. They might believe that because their father beat them. They are destined to beat their child. That we have no free will. So this is just how it is.  

From this perspective, I am defining determinism as a fairly negative philosophy. Since the Law of One defines free will as the most important law of the Universe. We can say at least that it is categorically confused. 

So in examining this fairly negative philosophy. A few interesting patterns came up. It is also interesting as to how to handle negativity in general. 

Going back to Saint Francis of Assissi's definition. That negativity is a lack. It is a void. A few experiences I have had have made me think about that. So what happens when you confront negativity I think is that you attach, a person ideally attaches. Not to the negativity itself. Not to the substance of the determinists argument. Of which there is no substance. But to the more positive things that indirectly connect to it.

What did Stefan talk about? He talked about the intuitive change a person would experience if they thought they were speaking to a real person (I.e. the free will person) Or an AI (A being without free will). He talked about technical arguments. "Why would you do x if there was no y?" The flaw and bad faith in the argument that everyone is powerless relative to Omniscience.  He ends it on the description of the malevolence of the idea in relation to moral reasoning. 

But these are mostly things that don't actually reference the idea. But reference the natural positive instinct that people have that show that the idea is ridiculous or damaging. 

A lot of the examples I got back were kind of slimey. What people with bad theories often do is they simply try to represent their ideas well, by using generally positive terms and not defining said terms. There was not a lot of consistency in the response. Some people seemed to be using over intellectualised language. Which I thought through and challenged. 

People just tried to endlessly redefine what Determinism was. One time someone clearly said that we are compelled by our survival instincts. So everything is determinism and there is no free will. I said that there are people that commit to things such as feminism, and decide not to have kids. There are deliberate martyrs. 

The guy then said that this was no proof against determinism. So I said then that it is an unfalsifiable belief and was more of a "faith". There were a few attempts to define it as a kind of theological belief. So the goalposts shift. 

I can't expect a reddit subforum to properly articulate a high level philosophical belief. But I don't know that this is one. The Law of One subforum, with some notable exceptions. Had very little conception of what the Law of One actually said, and often made posts wildly diverging from it. I doubt a few of them had even read the Law of One. 

But, the emotional core of the argument. The motivation of why a lot of people pursue it, can be explored. Because it will be revealed under this kind of conflict. A few people started saying "Well, what do you think about free will". The argument is, semi obviously from the forum. Not so much a love of determinism. But a hatred of free will.  

So the points made were partially things like "If the belief is a rejection of another things, like Santa Claus or God, you don't need to justify it, so lack of a null hypothesis doesn't invalidate it."

The deep point of this forum is simply the refusal to believe in free will. Any point made against them meant that the definition of determinism shifted, to avoid being targeted. Because the thing that is fundamentally true and didn't shift. Is the idea of free will, that was being opposed. 

This is why the negative is so chameleon like. Because they are defining themselves against something, rather than for something. Which kind of puts them in the middle of "nothing", in a way. 

Which is why their belief cannot really be tackled head on. The Law of Free Will itself means that there are certain things that we cannot make others accept. To me, that says that for certain concepts. Proof will never be perfect.  

So how to handle this? In truth I believe these concepts CANNOT be opposed. I doubt very much whether what I have said on that forum has made an impact. It might have. But if and when it does, it will probably be in relation to other life events. 

I have often wondered to myself why the world is so bereft of supernatural events. In line with the Law of One. I do not accept that matter simply never responds like that. But I do see an incredible advantage in terms of polarity and spiritual laws, if all our conflict is restricted to the physical. To the real world, and the movement of resources. 

Theoretically, if what I have been saying is correct. If determinism is a really unpleasant ideology that paralyses the person. The pain for the people following it will come when they apply these ideas in the real world, and somehow, somewhere, someone pushes against them. It is how I think the world will work at other times. If someone I know disliked me for political reasons. If those were suddenly removed. The political reasons would be no excuse. Only their behaviour would be left. And they would have to justify it in other ways. 

Meditation: -> The funnel.

A second day of the same kind of meditation as yesterday. Completely mentally involved for half and hour and two days in a row means that I can repeat the process. That this is simply my new method of meditating. 

I am putting forward a tentative theory, as to a benefit of meditation. The Law of One talked about meditation in relation to processing. That if we hear and absorb information. If we don't meditate, then we don't process it. 

While meditating today I got a result. The result was that I became deeply aware, as a feeling, of one of the truths that I have heard again and again from social media and youtube videos. One of the truths that opposed my early childhood conditioning. Where we set up the general background emotional commitment to "how things are". 

As we grow older though, those things are less easy to change. So meditating creates this zone where that information finally slips deeper into our being. 

This direction also is on the way to answering a question I have constantly asked myself about real life. 

But another thing that seems relevant to me is that it is kind of like this:

What this shows, in my very crappy illustration. Is that deep inside us is this system I think. Each shape here represents a section of stuck beliefs/ feelings/ thoughts that blocks our general life force and experience. (The red life is our life force that becomes unobstructed as these things are solved!)

Meditation just detonates these, and the way it does so is that the various wisdom we have absorbed are actually applied to our emotions and thoughts. Often, the reason we have found this information is so that we can use it. Something we subconsciously know. 

Meditation though, is a tool. It is not the answer. Meditation will bring me these powerful insights and it solves my ... "psychological difficulties" for want of a better term. But there is no work put in to do meditation. I have done it for many years so there is that. I have probably trained myself physiologically to be very open to it and trained myself in the kind of faith and thinking through sources like the Law of One. But it does not provide anything in the real physical world

I am very excited about long term positive results of this practice. I feel I am deeply learning each time I do it.  

To meditate is to be.

A very self centered post but you will realise from reading this is because I am unusually happy with a recent success... 

Well, success, and I mean BIG success. Success that felt a bit like a drug high. That I think might have come close to 'contact' in a sense (In the Law of One, the contact talked a bit about how they valued the subtle connections we have with the spirits in our daily lives, even as much as a full on ET contact). 

Anyway, since I am praying regularly, things are good. (Gotta keep on top of that). I have also been trying to keep up with meditation. I tell myself that doing daily meditation is not the point, since I will not be able to do it one day. But I can pray every day. So my energy can be focused on the prayer, rather than the meditation per sey.

But I digress. 

I got my meditation together. I set up a few minutes, ahead of the meditation, to get things in order. I actually read the bible in this time, and I have a suspicion that my path will grow more in that direction as things continue. I will become more devout. But as yet, only a suspicion. Daily reading the Law of One is a big thing at the moment. 

Anyway, after this preparation. My meditation was deep. I mean DEEP. I have started to appreciate my earlier years of not having much of a life, being ill, and a bit of a 'loser' in the shallowest sense. Because it did allow me to meditate a lot. I value that now. 

So, what did I experience? I can't fully describe it. It was better than most of what I have experienced in life so far. It was a strange synergy of every little bit of information I have gained from the Law of One. My understanding of the spiritual reality. How it relates to real life. The realest of life. All combined with active insights. 

It was beautiful. It gave so much clarity. It was like when you suddenly gain a new perspective and you realise something that you thought was important, is not actually important. The insights are continuing but in a far more grounded and subtle way. It's just clarity really.

It is perfect.  

I have quite a lot to say that I can't articulate. Or that I suppose I could if I tried. But it also doesn't seem that important. 

I suppose I wondered if this blog, I would spontaneously come out with more profound stuff. I often come out with points I don't expect while writing these blogs. But it hasn't actually. I will leave it up though. Because at the very least. If there are other spiritual seekers out there. Another reminder to meditate (The Q'uo readings basically say that every reading!) Might be good. 

The Primacy of Prayer.

Very very often I have thought to myself. In my general rotation of the different tools that I use. Is there one that I can use, that if I used it every single day, would have the effect of improving my life. 

Meditation? Looking at the human design transits? Playing Music? Refraining from masturbation? Reading the Law of One?

But I think, finally. I have found what that thing may be.... Prayer. Making sure that I set an alarm to do two main prayers a day, and saying an additional set of prayers from a book at night. 

As might be obvious if someone were to read the last few weeks of this blog. I am reading through the Law of One again. Many of these blogs produce quotes that were sequential from the one before. So one from 48, 50, 53 etc. 

I had an unpleasant experience the other day. One that could have easily escalated in an unpleasant direction. I felt that it would go wrong a few moments before it did in a similar way to how it did (we can call this situation A). There was just an unpleasant vibe in the air. I was wondering, in general, as to the point of things and it was in fact a non positive coincidence that lead to the situation. In a way it was pointless. 

I have found a very strong correlation, impossibly strong. When I pray. Things kind of go OK. When I pray for a while they go so OK that I stop praying because it is not obvious that it is doing anything. But when I stop. I will just get some sort of nasty coincidence. Things will just start to go wrong in some way. When I was actually making a philosophy out of NOT praying a few days ago. A set of posts I may have deleted deciding it was not useful or correct. I got a health issue from a minor lack of judgement that put me out for four days and created a lot of discomfort. 

For me, the protective value of prayer is not in doubt. Even though I am still wrestling with a skeptical side to my nature. So I have reflected on what the value might be even if there was no larger positive entities not interacting with us. The take away is that doing prayer is very positive. It is this that I hope to do, day after day, and to look back on my life and see positive results. 

I said, in reference to 'scenario A', that it was unpleasant, could have gone far more wrong and was kind of pointless. In the Law of One, session 68, the three of talking to and transcribing the contact. Found that they were in real danger of being negatively infringed upon. It feels similar to my situation at the moment, albeit in a less important way. 

I also want to make another point here about the Law of One, this also from session 68:

Questioner: Then you are saying that if this fifth-density negative entity is successful in its attempts to transfer the mind/body/spirit complex when that complex is in what we call the trance state to negatively polarized time/space, then the higher self has no choice but to allow incarnation in negatively polarized space/time? Is that correct?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. The Higher Self could allow the mind/body/spirit complex to remain in time/space. However, it is unlikely that the Higher Self would do so indefinitely due to its distortion towards the belief that the function of the mind/body/spirit complex is to experience and learn from other-selves thus experiencing the Creator. A highly polarized positive mind/body/spirit complex surrounded by negative portions of space/time will experience only darkness, for like the magnet, there is no, shall we say, likeness. Thus a barrier is automatically formed.

What is interesting here to me is that even though, the Law of One contact is talking about opposing entities of a kind of galactic level evil. That this also applies to the most basic every day situations we get with even mildly annoying people. "Thus a barrier is automatically formed". Is a principle that is relevant to our daily lives. 

Anyway. The reason that prayer is THE thing, I believe. Is that meditation is very liable to be stopped by illness or life chaos and once you don't do something only one day. The momentum is broken. Last week I had a few days where I was stressed about something and didn't sleep. The next few days I slept for about twelve hours each day. When you sleep for twelve hours and you are not necessarily expecting it. Like, you fall to sleep at 18:00, and you have other things going on. Then you don't have time to meditate. 

We'll see how it goes. But hopefully, this is the thing!