Our changing society. Gate 38.

I realise this post might be a bit too personal, boring and even vaguely schizophrenic. I hope it provides value in that I am thinking through the Law of One. But I did feel the need to add this proviso at the beginning. I am partway through as I write this but I hope to end on a good point about society and such. 

New Years and the gate 38. 

I can't stand New Years Eve. I have never liked it. I think the best one I ever had was drinking a whole bottle of Baileys and watching the first episode of a vampire show that I never followed up on. 

In the practical real world. This is because I don't really have friends. The previous friend I did have I hung out with occasionally. I recall them all leaving on New Years Eve and every party or event has turned out to be bad luck. I have ended up walking home as the time crossed 0:00. I used to think this was because the real Human Design New Year is on January 22nd. When the Sun crosses into gate 41. But now I've started to think it is because on New Years Eve. The Sun is in gate 38. And that is a damn difficult gate. 

The gate of the fighter. From the channel of struggle.  

Which fits my current experience. Having been quite ill the past few days I am recovering. 

From the Law of One session 61: 

Questioner: Is there anything in particular that the instrument could do to improve the physical condition?

Ra: I am Ra. This instrument has two factors affecting its bodily distortions. This is in common with all those which by seniority of vibration have reached the green-ray level of vibratory consciousness complexes.

The first is the given instreamings which vary from cycle to cycle in predictable manner. In this particular entity the cyclical complexes at this space/time nexus are not favorable for the physical energy levels.

The second ramification of condition is that which we might call the degree of mental efficiency in use of catalyst provided for the learning of programmed lessons in particular and the lessons of love in general.

This instrument, unlike some entities, has some further distortion due to the use of pre-incarnative conditions.

My emphasis. Obviously, since Law of One quotes aren't randomly bolded. This line was one of those moments for me where I have to put down the book and try and digest it. That, with some other things in dream interpretation. These are good moments. Having met something so profound you have to think it over before you absorb anything new. 

Applying the quotes. 

The profundity is more in line with reading the Law of One repeatedly, reading not just the words but absorbing the overlying pattern. What we are here doing is to absorb and use everything in our real life. To "process all of our catalyst". I have watched this be a part of other admirable peoples lives. 

To me the line would likely be 'catalyst provided for the learning of programmed lessons and in particular and the lessons of wisdom in general. Assuming I do have lessons since the fifth density incarnate wanderer on Earth is already harvestable to sixth density. However, I do think I have lessons. 

So what does this spate of illness. What catalyst has it been providing me? For me, I felt like I finally might have got something right. But then, I might have got one of the particulars wrong. 

When I realised a bit of time would be spent in recovery I realised it is an opportunity to fully REJECT energy healing as a potential solution to anything. Energy healing is a thing I have returned to periodically that is always somewhat toxic. I have even had dreams, multiple dreams in fact, summarising to me that this is not positive. One of those reasons may be a certain lack of emotional empathy. I cannot extend the healing to others once I have theoretically healed myself, because I have not had the experience of caring for other massively. I do look after family members and such but my emotional empathy "doth not overflow". In the same way that an introvert doesn't have masses of energy for socialising. 

I suspect partly, that the reason for this, is that I desire very strongly to oppose evil. If I was life planning and I was discussing said plans with higher entities and they said to me something like. "You can have a distortion towards healing but you would spend a decade and a half as a leftist as well". That would be a hard 'no' for me. 

But I still wanted healing. Without turning to energy healing it is a bit more about just waiting it out. So I turned to prayer. Waking up I had an insight and decided to send energy to a few people. So this was my almost learning the lesson but getting the fine print wrong. 

I got what I consider energetic responses. Like, someone very similar to the person I sent energy to turned up and I got insights into that person that energy. I also got an instinct to contact someone, and I was reminded of the massively unproductively complex connection we have. 

For me, as a fifth density entity... "Love", as in sending Love. Does not make a difference. It does not solve anything. It does not shift or provide solutions to anything. So the point is. No sending love to myself in the form of energy healing. No sending love to others. 

What does make a difference.

What I think does make a difference is gaining enough wisdom on my situation that I understand why it is the way it is, and thus that I am able to moreso accept it. 

At the moment my situation is largely unchangeable. I am of course growing in ways that matter. Like, my understanding of the Law of One, and I am improving in health. I am probably improving in health as a direct result of not being employed and not being employed in the current market. So even though being unemployed is frustrating. There is a positive element to it. 

HOWEVER, the world is a larger place and even though I don't socialise. Moving forward in my life would assume that socialising would be necessary. 

In reflecting on gender roles, as this is the crux of the issue I think. (Because even men are controlled by women). My understanding is that men are fundamentally designed to work and provide value. To provide resources. They provide this, and what follows on is their instinct to look after a wife and family. What men desire when they have money is to get a woman and put her in the kitchen. To summarise in a very basic way. 

Every single car, computer, every cement block on the pavement, is due to mens desire for status in this way. 

Women are in a different place. They are born with beauty and an excess level of emotional energy. They are about looking after babies, or people, knitting together communities, and generally through that mechanism supporting whatever the tribal values are. Women are vulnerable to, and repeaters of, whatever the dominant propaganda is of the day. 

This stuff is deeply, deeply placed in our genetics. In our very being. As far as I understand. So men go out looking for ways to provide value in the world. Gain resources. The world is more likely to shame men that are not able to do so. As they are not useful to the tribe. (They don't have the inherent value of the female reproductive system).

So mens value is themselves + the job they are able to do and resources they provide. In the normal situation, women have to gain those resources from men. So they are nice to men. They think about ways to get said resources. They are charming. 

There is more to this that I won't go into. 

At the moment what we have is men but no jobs. A lot of them. Since as we have seen recently. A lot of white millennial men are deliberately excluded from workplaces by woke retards. But what we have is a lot of subsidised female jobs. Of course, there are real female jobs as well. But, disproportionately, women are getting a lot more of the jobs and some of those jobs are completely subsidised. "Lazy girl jobs", as seen on TikTok and such, can see women getting six figures for doing barely anything.

So this creates a long term toxic effect. Women have a lot of value. Female reproductive system + Job. A huge amount of value. Men have no value. No female reproductive system and potentially no job. And the ones that do have jobs, their money is taken from them and given to women via the government and taxes. So it leads to this effect where women. Just don't care about men in general. And they are not willing to concede that they are right about anything. It is the left wing bundle of neurosis or the high way. 

The reason this is partly done is to stagnate society. Men are innovators because that kind of groundbreaking creativity. The Elon Musk/ Nicola Tesla's of the world. Is a male thing. Men, even from about six months show greater tendencies towards systemising than women. The look at how things run and push for them to run better. 

Women do not have that testosterone. They favour the status quo. And speech policing everyone as though they were looking after infants. Their movement in general, opposes meritocracy and competence.  

This leads to a difficult situation but it is in the process of rectifying. It has begun in the US but it will spread to other countries. Manufacturing is returning to the US. By many times. DEI has gone. So men will rise in power. It will go back to where men have the competence, and the resources, and women, and various other communist affiliated groups, will be strongly incentivised to go back on the value system that they have built over the last few decades. 

When a group in society goes from powerless to powerful, it will cause quite a lot of potential friction. 

Conclusion:

So that is the wisdom that keeps me together. It correlates with an emotional desire for 'revenge'. But it is not really revenge, just the knowledge, the wisdom, of how things actually are. One of the things that is relevant to discussing these concept is "What precise emotion or thing connects to a word". Since revenge can mean different things. But it is possible to align such a word with something that is higher and for the good. 

This world and this society has reached such levels of darkness and confusion that it could be that when things change, we will simply look back on a lot of these troublesome behaviours as a time shrouded in darkness that does not make any particular sense. Or perhaps moral lessons will be drawn from it.  

Self knowledge and gate 8.

The current transits:

I only wanted to highlight one planet in this. Gate 8, handled by transiting Uranus. Currently retrograding and going direct on 4th of February. Uranus will leave gate 8 on April 28th 2026 and not return their until it's next rotation. About 90 years. 

As I have said before, having gate 1 in my unconscious Earth. Has completed the electromagnetic channel 1-8, and has been giving me a lot of insights referencing, how many of us, including me most relevantly, are homogenised, through spiritual communities, to believe that "love" is the message we should all be sending. Other things connected with that.

A bit of history. Being someone that is interested in the 'path' so to speak. The spiritual path talked about in the Law of One, and other similar teachings. I have done the meditation, the journalling, and thought about all this stuff a great deal. Being basically disabled to varying degrees. Sometimes in small ways that subtly undermine me, sometimes in more serious ways. I have spent a lot of time, on my own, not working, and thinking through all this stuff. Importantly, trying to gain some method of improvement. 

The subject came up after I watched this video:

Youtube: Love Covered Life Podcast: December 30th 2025:

https://youtu.be/Bg_ouxMq7h0?si=IXE4NpvEdilG4qcz

This is a very good summary of the kind of journey that is talked about in Llresearch and the Quo channeling. That I am suddenly reflecting on. 

I do feel a similar sense of 'guiding entities' most specifically, through dream interpretation. One pattern I have noticed is that I can strain for ages to get things right and I don't always feel like the guidance is particularly revealing. But if I get something right and then fall off, I can often get a powerful and explicit dream to remind me. 

Anyway, what I wanted to discuss is that all the journalling, to talk through how people have behaved in relation to the friend who killed herself as an example. All the emotions about this, and another issue that I will mention in a little. Do not seem to be solved by these mechanisms. The things that this woman describes. Getting on with other people in relation to labours of love. Do not seem relevant to me. 

I want to bring in another teaching as well. I have talked about it before. Stefan Molyneux's, "Love is our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous". 

I have thought this over a lot. I believe it is a correct teaching. I have listened to FDR Podcast 5971. "The Philosophy of Love". He clarifies that his teaching about love is a natural law that already exists. As I said I have been thinking it over. It seemed to work. It seemed to apply to my life. 

But then... All of a sudden. It didn't apply. My perception of this rule working within me just suddenly fell apart. 

To bring a few points together here then. A lot of this working with emotions for me, is not massively functional. 

For me, it is very difficult to grip within myself what 'love' is and what relevance it has. Like, don't get me wrong, I have affection for the dog. I don't lack love 'per sey'. But I don't find any value in imagining other people and seeing them positively. 

Much of the Quo readings are about that kind of thing, and I am questioning if they are useful for me. Letting go of the Law of One will not happen. But letting go on a deeper level of the Quo readings, as a secondary benefits further disconnecting from llresearch, might be positive. 

Much of my thoughts. Do not acknowledge people in a sense. There is no particular anger at others. There is no lack of forgiveness. There is no forgiveness either. Because other people are often not interesting to me, and not interested in me. 

But the way I do follow these things. Ideas on Jesus and such. The Law of One. Is that when I think through 'love' type of stuff. It just concerns actually doing things. Like, doing things for others in the real world. If I don't have that, I don't see the relevance of thinking it through any further. 

The only way to think through deeper emotional themes. Handling the deeper complexities of life. The alternative to journalling. Is to focus on music and write lyrics. It's the only thing that seems to add some sort of momentum or shift and clarity to my emotional life.

A lot of what I have figured out from the Law of One is that the main point of it all is acceptance. The path, the 'process' as it is called in session 34 is 'Understanding - Acceptance- Forgiveness and if possible restitution". I would say music, writing songs, is a big aid to this. To create a song from an emotional place is to understand your emotions better. To really understand them is to begin to accept them. Music is navigating the too's and fro's, the complexity of such emotions.  

The takeaway is that I perceive there is further deconditioning which is shown by the Uranus transit of gate 8. 

The value of science fiction.

This is me:

It is, I suppose, not at all relevant. But at the moment I have fallen off any wagon or diet. Chocolate, alcohol and diet coke. Not that it matters. Just saying, to relate to my other spiritual seekers out there. 

I had health issues due to personal error over the last few days, to the extent I felt a lot of psychological pressure and it pushed a kind of 'hell like' reality within me. I am only now recovering and against that, alcohol doesn't seem that important. 

Anyway, what I am doing at the moment is something amazing. I am binge watching Stargate SG-1 and I am extremely happy with that.

I recall when talking with a person on twitter about the fictional serial killer Red John, who used to put a smiley face in the victims blood in the tv series the Mentalist:

 

Then I saw this on Christmas day:

The discussion was about having main characters with high IQ's. I don't have a lot to say about that at the moment. 

But I have been watching Stargate Sg-1, Seasons 9 and 10.

In Seasons 9 and 10, The SG-1 team come into contact with an incredibly powerful foe. They are very similar in a lot of ways to the worst of mainstream Christianity. Not only are they incredibly fanatical though. They have supernatural powers. 

Those blue staffs light up and people are brought back from the dead, diseases are created, telekinesis, zombies etc and planets wiped out. Those that do not follow the religious practices of this cult. 

I imagine this is partly based on the Law of One. Either that or it is a spectacular coincidence. In the Law of One, the most negative group is called the "Orion" group. This negative group of zealots are called the Ori. This suggests to me only that someone in the writing staff has read the Law of One. No deep connected intelligence.

What is interesting about this, and what I think is interesting about the entire subject of science fiction. Is that it allows us to explore questions that we would not be otherwise able to. 

Was it Aristotle that asked "Do you love god because he is more moral, or because he is more powerful?" This is a relevant question here. Jesus is said to prove his connection to god because he could heal the sick, walk on water, and raise the dead. 
 
But what if someone appears who can do those things, but has a negative intent? That demands concessions you are not willing to give?

It's an absolutely amazing medium I think, to potentially, explore philosophical and theological issues. 

This was not done in the show to a great deal. But even the small amount that was done was interesting. There was a scene in season 9 where Daniel is facing a Prior in debate. Where his positive ideas are up against the Priors more negative dogmatic interpretation, and he loses. 

There was also other little things. Daniels interpretation follows on from the Ancients. The Ancients follow the Law of Free Will in a fastidious way. As such they seem kind of annoying and passive. But even having the Law of Free Will acknowledged like that is interesting. Because it is extremely important to the higher positive entities as we learn from the Law of One. 

One of the things said is that the Ori promise their followers ascension. But in the show we learn they don't offer ascension. They want to be worshipped in prayer rituals, very similar to Christianity. Or I suppose potentially Islam. They want people to pray to them for six hours a day. 

In the discussion of this, because the Ori don't ascend their followers. One of the 'Ancient' characters makes the comment that the surrendering of the followers will to the Ori "only leads to death of the most meaningless kind". Daniel finishes his sentence here: "Because there is no conscious effort to reach ascension".

This is a powerful and interesting line. I don't know if it is true, from what I have read. I have read both a lot of fairly positive NDE accounts and also some lines in the Law of One and Human Design that suggest people deeply regret missed opportunities. But it is interesting. Since I believe in salvation of works, not by faith. The things we actually do will save us. Not the words we say.

It also correlates with this, a short by Aaron Abke:

Youtube: Aaron Abke: The hidden cost of certainty. Posted December 26th 2025:

https://youtube.com/shorts/2DqKig_H0K0?si=vpsVTIeWCSGMXs39

"I've seen this ever since leaving religion is just the kind of brain rot it causes in people. To be fed certainties non stop. We're just gonna dish out to you everything that's true and whatever we don't say it is all false and wrong". 

You're so f'n special.

Listened to this cover a few times:

Youtube: Sunniva: I wish I was special: Posted December 10th.  

https://youtu.be/tgJbDleeoW4?si=ldH0ThmZ9r3z_VAK 

I hadn't actually heard the song before and I have almost never clicked on a song I have not already heard on youtube. But I did, then I went around looking at other covers and all of them were unsatisfactory. I went to the original musicians, Radiohead. The song is called creep. 

It is a great song. But I believe it is misinterpreted by most people playing it.  

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry
You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so fucking special

But I'm a creep
I'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here 

The function of music, for me, is largely to do with processing emotions and often emotions that can't be processed any other way. If someone feels bad and they put on Shostakovich or Max Richter. If they feel rage at being treated by a woman, a theme a bit like this song, perhaps that Puddle of Mudd 'She f'n hates me' or perhaps Nickelback. Emotional chaos and it's Blonde redhead. Etc. 

It can also be there to inspire good moods. Such as Elvis Presley, or Christmas music in general. Or other feelings like the general feeling of intellect and profundity (Bob Dylan).

But it's interesting to me how gritty hard feelings can come through in music. Perfectly woven, all the dense nastiness, into something beautiful.

This song is that I think. To analyse these lyrics, it starts as a kind of love song, and that's the way a lot of singers translate it. They focus on those first two lines, about a woman looking like an angel, and they form it a bit more like a James Blunt song. But the song is not that. 

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul. 

It is a song about resentment, and in a way it is the opposite of a love song. 

Resentment is an interesting emotion in general. The Law of One encourages deep multi faceted analysis of our own emotional being. It's not really jealousy, but it is jealousy. It's not really anger, but it is, also, anger.  

I can guarantee you that the girl he is singing about does NOT in fact, think she is 'So fucking special'. But if someone said that to you, would you think that person loved you? Like really loved you? Would you think that person would support you? Or would they passive aggressively tear you down?

It is more about the person singing it. "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo, what the hell am I doing here?" Might even hint towards suicide which is where really dysfunctional, destructive personalities, often go.  

It's something I like about this cover. It is sung straight. There is no hint of love at the beginning. It is probably not even slightly planned. But when she sings 'Couldn't look you in the eye'. It is harsh. She is also, seemingly to me, naturally a singer as her timing is perfect and her tone is also flawless.

When she sings 'I'm a creep" at about 1 minute 58, it has emphasis. Because the song is about a kind of hatred of himself when presented with this being, that presents itself as perfect, and that is an image he hates. She also probably looks like the object of the singers affection. So the fact that she covers the song so well, and simulates the feeling of self disgust. Adds to the significance for me.  

I probably won't do this but I would like to cover the song myself. If I were to, I would want to substitute "very" at the end of the first verse, as most people have done... "You're so very special". So people would assume that I was polite or something, then at the very last repeat of that line actually drop the f-bomb, revealing I was never afraid to be rude.  

Because the resentment is hidden.  

Root chakra results and improvement.

Well, Oh my god! I said four days ago that I was successful at 'semen retention'. Results already. Yesterday, on three hours sleep, after I actually drunk some wine hoping that it could lift whatever anxiety was stopping me sleeping. I actually went to the gym? At 1 am, came home after and stayed up! I really struggle with energy and due to medical reasons sometimes sleep for about twelve hours in a day. But I am super charged with semen retention.  

Another thing I also talked about was that I find it useful, as a kind of philosophical concept, to look at the matrix of the mind, and to focus on certain things primarily, and to notice that a lot of things, that even though they are positive and I can get excited about them. They are not the 'main thing'. 

I figure things like that are really important. Because, it is only ever our mind that really creates a lot of the changes. A lot of people know what they should eat to lose weight, or what they should do in their lives. But they don't do it. The fundamental thing we need to remain focused on, I think, is the motivation behind doing whatever it is we want to do. And to get distracted by process rather than point, is to start to invite your own destruction in a sense. (So if I say to myself 'the gym is my reason for being' because I like it at the moment rather than 'music is my reason for being', things will start to derail).

Which matters now. The gym session I had the day before yesterday, was fantastic. It was one of the best feelings I have ever had. I went to failure on each exercise, and had increased the weight on average 30kg per machine. More or less depending on specifics. It was good. 

But it happened during a time when I am eating whatever I want and have 'good energy'. I have grown fat. I cannot put on more weight. So I will have to eat salads and things and probably won't have that energy again. After Christmas/ from the 27th, I will have to eat well. I have lost 6kg in a couple of months before. I can do it, I know how to do it. But I did not commit to a diet change at that time due to various factors.

I have also identified a subtle blockage in my life. I am not motivated to make music because my internal image of myself is not a good one. I focus on scales constantly and do not want to sing songs. The trouble is with music, is that there is an ego element. "I don't want to talk about it..." Only matters if the talker has some status. That goes with pretty much every song. 

It is miserable. I got such good results from weight lifting before I thought I could do it without diet change. But it is what it is.  

An insight into evil.

I have decided to make this blog today based on a synchronicity. I have had a lot of thoughts about the 'negative polarity' or conspiracy in some manner recently. I do guy by the Law of One's teachings that state that this material is a lot of times 'transcient'. This teaching has been a very powerful, very positive thing that I have followed. But I have gained quite a bit of understanding in that area which I understand is hard to come by. 

There are of course exceptions to every rule. Conspiracy, in general, is maddening and unproductive to look at and even today, I have been contemplating how useless it is in general. Since as I went to the gym yesterday, feel a lot less anxious today, and I am less interested in twitter and politics. I am very aware of how useless to my actual life that stuff is.

BUT, the world is not a monolith. Rules change. Or different rules apply to different situations. It could be that we are going to shift into a reality as mentioned in a kind of 'Q paradigm'. If that were to happen. The people that knew what was going on will be better placed and potentially, quite needed, in supporting the 'normies' mentally. 

What I am coming to is that my illness. One of the only really positive things about it is I have a deep understanding of the world from that perspective. There was literally nothing more positive I could have been doing in those years than learning conspiracy. I was too mentally unwell for relationships or careers. 

But anyway, I have learned to think in the infinite layers of deception that characterise politics and especially politics about the Deep State and Epstein and such. I will not talk about this now. But, I want to share an insight I had about the negative polarity in general:

Questioner: Am I to understand then— just the fact that the third-density entity on this planet, just the fact that he calls or bids an Orion Crusader is a polarizing type of action that affects both entities?

Ra: I am Ra. This is incorrect. The calling mechanism is not congruent in the slightest degree with the bidding mechanism. In the calling, the entity which calls is a suppliant neophyte asking for aid in negative understanding, if you may excuse this misnomer. The Orion response increases its negative polarity as it is disseminating the negative philosophy, thereby enslaving or bidding the entity calling.

There are instances, however, when the contact becomes a contest which is prototypical of negativity. In this contest, the caller will attempt, not to ask for aid, but to demand results. Since the third-density negatively oriented harvestable entity has at its disposal an incarnative experiential nexus and since Orion Crusaders are, in a great extent, bound by the first distortion in order to progress, the Orion entity is vulnerable to such bidding if properly done. In this case, the third-density entity becomes master and the Orion Crusader becomes entrapped and can be bid. This is rare. However, when it has occurred, the Orion entity or social memory complex involved has experienced loss of negative polarity in proportion to the strength of the bidding third-density entity.

Then a few questions later:

Questioner: Can you tell me, in the polarizations in consciousness, if there is any analogy with respect to what you just said in this type of contact with respect to what we are doing right now in communicating with Ra?

Ra: I am Ra. There is no relationship between this type of contact and the bidding process. This contact may be characterized as one typical of the Brothers and Sisters of Sorrow wherein those receiving the contact have attempted to prepare for such contact by sacrificing extraneous, self-oriented distortions in order to be of service.

The Ra social memory complex offers itself also as a function of its desire to serve. Both the caller and the contact are filled with gratitude at the opportunity of serving others.

We may note that this in no way presupposes that either the callers or those of our group in any way approach a perfection or purity such as was described in the bidding process. The calling group may have many distortions and be working with much catalyst, as may those of Ra. The overriding desire to serve others, bonded with the unique harmonics of this group’s vibratory complexes, gives us the opportunity to serve as one channel for the One Infinite Creator.

Things come not to those positively oriented but through such beings.

David Wilcock, in one of his rare instances of good research and productiveness, has actually talked in depth about how this bidding process happens. But that is not what I want to focus on here.  

What I want to talk about, is that there is a differing style the positive and the negative process has. The positive, as mentioned in the material and as seen in real life. Goes to a great effort to show those that it is teaching, that it is not above them. There is no eliteness. That we are friends, or just a bit different from you. To this end this contact often said things to that nature. To discourage being seen as overly alien/ benevolent/ infallible, or to focus on the 'alien' aspect of the whole situation. 

The negative polarity, is the opposite to that. Anything that gives them one up over another they harness and attempt to exploit to it's fullest extent. An alien contact from the negative does not include pleasant conversation, but the alien aspect of it's presence is very strongly emphasized. As though an all powerful diety as arrived. 

Which is the relevant aspect here, and a relevant aspect in a lot of conspiracy I have seen. One of the things that I have seen and looked into, that I believe. Having seen and evaluated the evidence. Is that every single celebrity. Every actor. Every musician. A lot of politicians. Are transgender. 

If found this out following a woman who talked about this in depth but whom now has her channel deleted from youtube. Bear in mind I was a heavy conspiracy theorist by this time. Even after decades of conspiracy theory, that I fundamentally got as a result of my illness. I found this very hard to accept. Very hard.

It is so alien. So sick in a way. So vast in what would need to be organised to keep it all together. So many people would have to be involved (pretty much all of Hollywood). It is not in the same category of like... genocide or anything like that. But it is the flat out weirdness of it, rather than the evil, that is hard to accept. 

This is the relevant element of the above Law of One quote and a comment on the entire area as it exists in the real world. All these negative people are WEIRD. I genuinely think most normies would prefer to hear that a celebrity they liked went to Epstein island and diddled kids, rather than that they are transgender, because the latter is too much of a violation of their world view; you can strongly disagree with the former, be disgusted by it, but you still might understand it. 

In the Law of One quote, we have that, even though it is "rare" (which can mean anything from having happened once in the entirety of human history to something like thirty thousand times!) There have been instances in our planetary past, or even present, where some black magick, negative entity, was able to reach a far higher level of efficiency than the Law of One group of Don, Carla, and Jim (not an easy feat in my opinion).

I can't imagine what environment that happened in, or what tasks that now enslaved negative demon/ alien was tasked to do? But what I do think is that this information is something that the populace will take a long time to understand or accept in any way. 

And to that end, I do not know what is going on in the mainstream politics. With the Epstein list and whatever else. I have indications. Theories. Things I have heard from others. But essentially, something this big and weird, educating the public on it, it could be that nothing we see is legitimate. It could be that there is no Epstein list and never was. It could be that the people we think are the good guys are the bad guys and vica versa. Or everyone is working from the same script. Once you are in that level of deception. Like Socrates said. You know nothing.

That is a horrible philosophy for the real world. You have to know the good to defend it. To have some concept of objective value and objective morals. But when almost everything you are being shown is deception. Perhaps it is closer to the truth.  

Root chakra energies.

Recently, there have been about five different articles in my head. Perhaps even more. I have been thinking about human design, the Law of One, conspiracy, and social issues. There is a potential blog on each of those and different angles on the specific information. 

There is one thing that is more central to my current experience though. One thing that ties it all together a little more than any of those subject. 

I suppose this will potentially go into the human design. But the subject of this blog is Semen Retention. That is, there are a lot of guys out there that believe holding your seed is of massive benefit. Even though there are science videos on this. A lot of it is done from guys that believe it from having experienced it. The guys do all have the intense aura you would imagine. 

For me, I don't want it to be quite as central. As I was talking about recently with a post on the Matrix of the Mind. I think sometimes focusing on life but noticing these things on the side of it to improve it can be the best attitude to have on these things. 

But anyway, it is always something I have generally wanted to do, and I have failed at it a lot. One of the big things I have discovered is that all the nannying, morally highgrounding, annoying, mostly female Christians are... right about this issue. In that because porn was banned by the UK government. Practically, by asking for age verification. I stopped going on the kind of smut that I used to like. My particular kink which I usually indulged in more with reddit posts than from videos per sey. 

Coming off it though, not going on reddit stories and thus obsessing over the fetishtic ideas therein. Has improved my life. It was kind of like stage one. I had one remaining stage though in that the impulse to "release". The second stage was that I used to get ideas that were partly informed by said reddit posts, of various degenerate stuff. So, the last idea I had was me and a woman handcuffed together. What comes from that could be completely consentual, or not for some reason, going any which way. 

But I realised, and I don't know why this took so long. That the best thing to do with these ideas is to just forget them. While I used to fantasize for various reasons (including an ineffective cerebral revenge on women that have wronged me in some way, by casting them as disgusting amoral skanks), while I valued those ideas to an extent. I realise they don't serve me and so I just let them go. I just forget these ideas and don't build on them when I get them now. 

Another aspect of this that I looked into. According to the video I watched by Rena Malik on youtube. A urologist. Once every five days is the best amount for a guy. So it was once every five days reliably for a while. 

But then, now I no longer have such issues with "imaginings" I have just stopped. Currently on 9 days. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is to me. Also, for the reasons summarised, because of the insight not to follow up on the degenerate ideas in a fictional sense, as I have done previously. I am confident I will have far more success in refraining. Like, even if I released today, I would be back to 9 days in 9 days. 

The Law of One, such as the Session and Answer highlighted in the previous blog entry, talks about energies in a way that confirms that they are very real. That energy work, energies such as chakras. Is the reality. Someone taking the Law of One on faith believes this.

Most of the guys talking about this echo this as well. They say that the effects they get from this, one of which is more interest from women. Often feel like they could only have a supernatural explanation. 

The effect that I have noticed thus far. One that I have not noticed... increased energy. I do not have increased energy at the moment. But what I have noticed is an undefineable sense of peace or confidence. A sense that I have more of a grip on my own emotions. More perspective. I don't have any noticeable change in my relationship with women because there are no romantic interests or female friends that I have in my life. 

But I have gotten a lot of insights into women in general. My relationships with them. Quite powerful things it feels like. I have very often felt a kind of pained desire to be included in womens sweetness in a casual social way. After being excluded in various office jobs. But that has suddenly shifted in perspective a bit. I was out the other day walking the dog. Young women are exclusively the group that do not say afternoon or anything when you meet them. Older women or guys are polite. 

My perspective was definitely shifted. Partly by drawing together my actual memories of women and how unimpressive they often are in real life. Like, boring in a sense. The desire to be involved with them socially, and that sweetness, perhaps comes from a partly sexual place, and as the sexual desire runs down, or becomes other than outward facing, I felt my perspective change. 

It feels like a lot of things that were 'projected' outside of myself. The idea of what women can bring me, has been slowly taken away. Slowly, the power of those things outside myself, has started to wane.  

It changed in relation to other people as well. I noticed with someone from my past that I could separate their "cute femaleness", from the person themselves.

It is an interesting experiment and I will see what kind of results it provides. Ideally, it would be interesting if the retained energy has a "healing" effect on me. But we will see how it goes.  

I am also slightly less interested in blogging. A lot of the ideas that I did use to talk about have become a bit less interesting as my focus has shifted a bit lower. To completing general small tasks and such like that.