Tariffs, a yo yo analogy.

I have been trying to get my mind about tariffs since it has been talked about. 

It has been clear to me, since about 2015 when I more seriously got into this kind of thing, that economics is very important for the "global game", of good and evil. 

Humans... are tribal creatures. While our inbuilt, down to the bone, animal instincts still tell us that the tribal rules of old are important. This civilised, more technologically advanced world doesn't always align with said senses. In my view. 

The Q people, and most people really, on the right wing side, has been far more exciteable, by many many times, about the release of the Epstein files than these tariffs. But to me, from what I have understood. The problem with the system we currently have is, for a lot of reasons, the actual system more than the individuals. In most cases. 

Incentives are incredibly, incredibly powerful. People, as is completely rational and is another thing from tribal times. Minutely work out what is in their best interests. Down to the smallest currency depending on the individual. As an example, the welfare state managed to make a lot of single mothers. Because they were incentivised to. For thousands of reasons, one of them being that they know the welfare state is there, so they don't work hard at having children with a stable provider, but are more free to pursue their lusts. Another is that the welfare system tends to reward single mother more highly. I.e. you have more welfare money if you don't have a provider helping you. 

Incentives, of sometimes amounts such as 10%, change an entire society. They change it slowly sometimes, but they are powerful partly because they are global. 

Arresting loads of rich folks who went to Epstein Island will give some measure of good. Some ammunition to the right people in the culture war. But it is not where huge worldchanging decisions are made and entire industries of millions of workers and all the incentives therein actually change. That is MONEY that does that. The truth about the Epstein list is, that there are probably more celebrities and Epsteins of the same exact character and power waiting in the wings. 

But now considering what is going on with tariffs. The fact they have basically effected everyone in the world. It seems like to me. It seems likely that a lot of the effects are going to come about through such complex mechanisms that we barely have any idea what will happen. But another thought is that it is likely, that with the whole financial system changed. With all these incentives changed and so much subtle behaviour change. That there is a possibility that this move by the Trump administration will create such gravity as to simply destroy the deep state in every country.

It could be that the free market spreads like a kind of virus for which there is no defence. 

As a small example. If America is running a country with very low regulations, with no DEI so the most efficient people are hired. With a decreasing immigrant population leading to less crime. Basically a bunch of rich, happy, productive, Americans - who don't pay income tax and are not subject to regulations. 

Imagine you are like... the UK, and people in your country are selling... yo- yo's. DEI has made the business less efficient. Most of the men don't have partners because they are not rich enough, overtaxed. And the culture has shifted away from the easy socialising that would encourage that. So the company is producing. But it is not producing amazingly. It produces say, 200 yo yo's at 40% quality every month at £3 per one yo yo. We will call this company Yo keys.

Then you have an American company, due to the aforementioned, including finding it easier to procure the materials for the yo yo's because they are produced in America and tariffs have forced pretty much all production back to America. It is a truck drive away for most materials not imported from China. This company full of happy, hard working, American family men produces 600 yo yo's at 70% quality every month at $1 per yo yo (so it can be sold cheaper). We will call this company Yo S A.

Previously what would have happened is the UK government would have slapped a tariff on Yo S A and it all would have been good. This is important, because the effects on the economy of things like DEI and regulation; can't ever be too negative for it to continue. Yo keys would have sold it's produce into America but America would not have sold it's yo yo's to the UK. 

But now things are different. If you want to put a tariff on Yo S A then Trump will slap a tariff on Yo keys as well, and no on in America will EVER buy them. So the UK government has two choices. Either put the tariff on and lose access to US markets, which will only be getting better and more advanced. Or don't do that and Yo keys will fail because Yo S A is better. 

It makes DEI and over regulation pretty dangerous for any economy. It sets up a heavy incentive to do away with regulation and move to free trade. Of course that might not happen. But these tariffs change the game. 

They also effect tax. Yo keys, no matter which way it swims, with or without tariff, or without regulations, will not be paying so much tax. 

This is just one company, this whole situation will be effecting more than one company. In many unpredictable ways. It will be effecting other things as well like politics in various ways. When you have to empower smart white men who are the biggest voters for Trump like politicians, rather than hobbling them with DEI, then there is a huge risk of a power shift. 

I imagine America's free trade agreements with Israel and a few other countries, maybe South Korea, whichever fold first, will be very productive. It will begin to set up a new trading block, those that do agree to free trade. What if all those countries start benefitting? And any country that resists free trade starts to fail?

I mean, it is all pretty amazing. 

More on prayer.

So just correcting the last post. No, I am not going to stop praying. 

It is rather like having looked at the whole 'Jesus was an Essene', from Aaron Abke, and then not eating a lot of meat, then getting kind of ill.

It is almost precisely the same as that.

I find prayer powerfully positively relevant. Yes, while it is true that I did do a bit more music on the days when I did not pray. Music is not the only activity that needs to be done. I can't even justify the positive power of prayer to the level that I made the opposite case yesterday. But I am sure that praying is the right thing to do. 

Today, after I prayed, immediately I was far more loving and positive with people around me. I was more positive and 'faith filled'. Far more positive. In fact a lot of worries just disappeared without a trace. The presence of the prayer energy reminded me to use things like dream interpretation. I assign dream interpretation and the positives I have gotten from it almost entirely to the prayer. 

It's like my defences are being tested recently. I compromised on a diet I have learnt is best for me via trial and error. I have thought a lot about alcohol and chocolate recently. Then came a whole 'anti prayer' perspective. 

But no, this was stupid. Prayer is fantastic. It also agrees with the paradigm I put in in the last post. If we are a trinity, the two nodes and then a third, unchartable feature. One node is meditation, the other is music. The unchartable feature is the religion. For me Christianity, and prayer being a part of that.

Insights and prayer.

A good day.

Man, it is absolutely brilliant to have a keyboard. Not just a keyboard, but a better one than I had before. It seems obvious to me that the laptop keyboard is meant to look good rather than being designed to actually be good for your hands. The new keyboard I have. Where the buttons are half a centimeter from the keyboard and require to actually be pressed (we are not designed for constant micro movements! Well, perhaps women are when being sensitive with babies!) This is the far more comfortable and better keyboard. 

Today has felt like one of the most profound days I have had in a long time. I woke up this morning, and instead of running the same program I normally do. I realised that a lot of the time when I push for a certain outcome. Plan certain things, and it all goes wrong or is just a huge pain to do, and creates further inconvenience. It might actually be better for me to not do these things. It might be positive forces sabotaging this!

In crystalising a bit of dream interpretation, and some other things that I have suspected, but not been able to act on for a long time. I have come to a few insights. 

Human Design.

On the human design. It seems to me that my own human design. With so many individual hexagrams, including each of those in my incarnation cross. Designed for solitude. It seems to me that my process when expressed positively is to, through a great amount of introspection. Become more aware of my own human design. Those insights then being largely generalisable to others. 

One of the things that I have been thinking about. Is the nodes. For a long time I have been trying to get insight into them. I think I have got it. Potentially. 

Firstly, there is a macro structure in my understanding that correlates with 'the trinity', the Christian concept. This is made up of the North Node on both sides. The personality and Design. And a third feature that might be termed our 'religion' that is not able to be seen in any chart. 

Also bringing in another concept. We have two sides of us. the upward seeking of the personality and the downpouring of the Creator. I think the personality North Node in the human design is the upward seeking of the personality. The design north node is the downpouring of the Creator. 

These basically correlate to habits we can have in our lives to encourage these North Nodes. Then we have the South nodes. 

The south node is something that we probably will not do. It is the thing that we need to NOT do. Did I make a confusing statement there? The South Node correlates to a behaviour that opposes a tendency we have that is not good for us. But that we will probably do in our lives. Unless we have a very good environment with good teaching as to how to avoid said pitfalls. 

Specifics on the design:

So this is this same set of understandings in my own chart:

NN Personality: Gate 25.6. This is to do with philosophical types of thoughts coming from the two design 51.1.'s. The entire channel. Basically, the 51.1 brings a good bit of chaos into my life and that has to be philosophised about in the gate 25. The gate 25 is improved by meditation. 

NN Design 21.2: An interesting line. "Here the severest action will be the most successful". A line with no compromise. This is to do with music and, when following along with a melody that has already written itself that one sometimes feels like they are channeling. A certain severity is necessary. A lot of the songs I write come out with aggressive themes. Uncompromising. 

SN Personality: 46.6: This is a behaviour that I need to watch. This is to do with not paying attention to the physical world. The lesson of the gate 46, the love of the body, is that that does need to be done. I have a tendency to not want to do that and to prefer a more cerebral worldview. 

SN Design Gate 48.2: An understanding of this is just becoming apparent now I believe. But it could be to do with letting people and the past go. This line, basically states that 'To accomodate inferior influences is to invite degradation'.

It is one of the insights I have had that, on a purely internal level. I am holding onto people. A small part of this is that I don't have the human design of anyone but people from my past and I love the human design. Love looking at it and thinking it over. But also, I said in recent blogs that I do not believe it is good to fully dismiss people because the coming of the famed Q narrative mass arrests may change them

The Q narrative:

But that is starting not to feel so relevant to me. Even with the Q information. I am still a person with my own experiences and beliefs and such. Q isn't as right about things as I initially thought. For instance, they said the Lords Prayer, which was written by Paul. While it might be correct. If it came from Paul there is no telling if it is correct or not. 

The Q information, and some of their statements about people "needing your support" when their worldview is destroyed, is something that has held back an actual commitment for me to completely letting go of previous left wing associates/ friends and even family, emotionally. 

But I dunno. It doesn't make complete sense to me and never has. I'm sure if there is a huge social change that people 'need support' with. Those people will be able to get through without my help. Even if it were as serious as say... the introduction of information to do with negative ET's. 

People don't want to admit when they are wrong. Perhaps a lot of people would simply avoid me in that case. If I had always been right about everything. Also, people that follow the establishment. The centre and hard left folks. What they are very attached to is authority. I'm sure as things like this become known the authorities, whomever they are by that time, will be putting out loads of information to make things easier for people. 

There is also the fact of my free will and my emotional and mental health. Also, that any transition will likely be slow. Grinding, declassification by slow moving declassification. Minute technology movement forward step by step. Like large language models. Economic shift by economic shift that will all be processed without me.

While there are obviously folks not paying attention to this kind of information that I am on good terms with. There is no reason for me to believe that I owe anything to anyone I don't currently like. 

Also, there is karma. There is a moral element to which side of the political aisle people choose. A lot of the people that disliked me because they are currently asleep and brainwashed, also wanted me to be vaccinated or called me "racist". Never apologised or made any effort even though they have had ample opportunity to do so and these people have been decades long friends and/ or family. 

Perhaps, and I know this is the kind of perspective that Q folks in general aren't gonna like. But perhaps the ultimate karmic reason and benefit of such a huge, potentially sudden shift in beliefs, trauma in other words. Is that people that have absolutely refused to believe they are wrong on any minute thing can be made to experience the natural consequence of that lack of humility. Perhaps, people that have spent hours of their lives hating me and gossiping about me and calling me racist and whatnot, SHOULD suddenly meet a dark moment where I am not there to comfort them as their reality splits into pieces. Perhaps this is karmic and right. 

A crutch

It is seeming to me that my own personal thoughts, outside the Q narrative. My own flow of being, or decision, or intuition or whatever, has decided I need to completely let a lot of these people go. So the Q narrative. which I deeply believe in, has to be made to fit with that. 

The other thing that I have been wondering and thinking about today is prayer in general. With the viewpoint that I have explained. There is meditation (conscious North Node) Music (Design North Node) and a few other points. Of course other parts of the chart have relevance as well. 

But, prayer is not exactly there. Now, the third area, the religious beliefs, might encompass that. But the truth is, I am starting to doubt prayer as a tool.

I am not completely sure about this one. I may go back to it. But not having prayed today has been positive and also, as with energy healing, I seem to get a positive result from not doing it. One of the prayers that I used to say was blessing with music but, I played more music that I loved today than I normally do. 

It is almost like, when I did energy healing, I felt on some level that the energy healing was me being productive and I would be less productive outside that. Also, when I pray to be good at music it makes me feel, I think, that I have done something about music. When I don't pray, I use that energy to simply play music. 

Like I said, I am not sure on this one. I will be saying to myself some sort of prayer even in the absence of formalised prayers. But I am wondering if all the prayers that I was saying need to be forgotten about. That I can pray when I actually need something. Or want to have a discussion with the higher positive forces. But the formalised prayers, and all the things I asked from them. Perhaps are just not that great.

Perhaps all the messy emotions I have prayed away can be handled in another way? Perhaps the dissatisfaction from not playing enough music is in fact very productive!?

The fact is, if God created us and we are perfect, perhaps we don't need to pray? Perhaps waking up in the morning my human design chart has all the tools I could ever want!?

Today, rather than going on a 6 hour trek, which is what I often force myself to do. I have carefully and gingerly worked on my health. I have taken enough meat. I have coffee and prunes for another low level health issue. And I have had masses of water which is a big deal for me, and usually only happens with herbal tea.  

Today I have had more energy than I have had in a long time. I have often been falling asleep before I am ready to recently.

Perhaps this is enough. Perhaps I don't need to pray for this. I will see how it goes.

Synchroncities and the world changing.

Life changing synchronicities

This is a post of 'well I suppose I should'. 

We are not meant to explain to others our 'sychronicities' in relation to the Law of Free Will, at least in my understanding. Where I am getting this is a section where the Law of One contact, told the three doing the sessions that it would be a violation of the Law of Free will for them to explain to others the synchronicities they were getting to advise them on which house would be best for them, as they were looking for a new one.

I think this relates to dreams as well because of reasons I have worked through myself. With dreams it is kind of easy to conceal that a piece of wisdom came from said dreams or say, the human design chart, because the information just becomes it's own thing after it is figured out. But occasionally I do tell others parts of dreams and synchronicities. It just feels 'right' to.

So that is what I am going to do in this post. 

When the JFK files came out. Like, less than 24 hours after they came out. I had a look for myself. I scrolled randomly a few times about 10 pages in (1 page was about 30 files I think). It was quite a bit. I would go say, 5 pages, check out some files. Then 20 pages, check out some more. In total I didn't check more than 10 pages before realising it would need more knowledgeable and motivated researchers than me to swim through all this.

I downloaded exactly one page, here is a screenshot proving that. The screenshot was created yesterday and it clearly states that the relevant file, 104-10110-10621, was downloaded last week. I have deleted the metadata from this file as I do for all images. But I do still have the original with the metadata:

Because I had to allow the furthest left part of the screen to be shown I have to show all my files here. But there is the file. Sitting there under it's correct file name. It is good I never thought to change that.

Why is this relevant?

Unfortunately, the screenshot is not large enough to show the date. But here is the tweet itself:

https://x.com/MichelleMi10625/status/1903699033451090169

It is dated March 23rd. So a week or so AFTER I downloaded that document.

It's just a pretty big synchronicity to say Q is legitimate for me. Too-ing and fro-ing about this a lot myself. I consider Q to be legitimate, but the process of attaching to some mysterious military code dropper like a good Riddler or something, to potentially not be healthy. 

The real world. 

I talked in an article recently, not that long ago, about how it is hard to come to hard and fast moral rules when you expect the world to change in a big way in the future. I.e. if I have someone in my life that I feel has been unpleasant and I don't really like. There is a distinct possibility that this person will change, if such a global change happens like Q says it will. 

... and that change, the David Wilcock esque mass arrests looks like it is "in process". 

Since the character length increase, you pretty much can't get the date of a tweet into the screenshot. 

Here is the tweet: https://x.com/RealAlexJones/status/1904676405939490988 It is dated today, March 26th. 

This, if it were declassified, would in fact lead to the kind of outcomes talked about. The global deepstate going to jail and things really moving about. Opinions and incentives massively changing.

So that's all I have to say about that. Interesting huh?

The annoying people and the power of philosophy.

Here is a podcast that annoys me:

Youtube: The Five O's - Understanding God's nature - Jesus Way Podcast Clip:

https://youtu.be/roQTBYXM9Os?si=lpcGezKGK3S31m3k 

I was talking up Aaron Abke after having discovered his work recently. It seems pretty inspiring to get to the real messages of Jesus.

But, he is pushing a message that is satanic, and "unforgiveable". I have messaged him about it so he knows, and has chosen to ignore that.

Aaron Abke believes in forgiveness without contrition. 

My path, philosophy:

It brings me to me developing path of understanding. One of the things that has become obvious to me for a long time is how unproductive 'dogma' is. Dogma is 'rules laid down and expecting to be followed without question'. 

This is one of the central problems with channeling. To go to the actual pages of some channeling, it will tend to outline to begin with that it's guidance is subject to the law of free will. Which, to some degree equalises for channelings main problem. Which is that you can't question channeling. The reason you can't question it is because the channel is no longer infront of you to answer your question. So if it were to say: 'The sky is green', and you wanted to ask 'well then why does it look blue?' The channel is no longer there to answer that. 

So if you are talking to people that are into channeling. They will excerpt some part of the reading to show their point and expect it to be followed without question. Thereby using the channels words in a way that is not conducive to free will.

Example: A: The Sky is blue, since that is what I an everyone I know says when they look at it. 

B: The sky is green

A: No it is blue

B: *Excerpt of channeling saying the sky is green*.

This is where philosophy shines. For me, a lot of the things I personally believe. The 'faith I keep'. I don't mention to anyone. These are the things I can't justify like the results I get when I do communion. Like the Nazarenes that followed the death of Jesus being a deeply exclusive religion. 

But, what is worth discussing with others are things that can be argued, that there is evidence for in the real world and it can be argued these things do provide benefit. If you say 'forgiveness without contrition is the way' or 'forgiveness without contrition is satanic in nature'. You have to basically justify that perspective. I can and I have. 

Are there any psychological studies that talk about this? In abuse communities, stating that forgiveness without contrition is needed is considered a form of abuse. And I believe that to be the case.

I once asked someone pushing this viewpoint if they would tell someone that had been raped as a child to forgive their abuser. This person said that they would. That they would forgive the abuser (i.e. the abuser that had done nothing to them) and hope the person raped as a child would be inspired by that. 

I hope karma comes back on them for that sort of statement! 

Conclusion:

This all agrees with my understanding of Christianity and Jesus' teachings. Dogma, things that people say that they expect to be followed without question. Even if they are, theoretically, following the Law of Free will. Is arrogant. That's what it is. "I will deliver my enlightened wisdom onto you and I don't have to justify myself."

Philosophy though is not that. Baked into philosophy, ideally, is the idea that ideas can be challenged and changed if another viewpoint can be proven. THAT is humility. That is respect for God, for if God is in all things, almost anyone might be doing Gods will. Not just the one on the podium.  

This is the pathway that my thoughts... "path" is taking recently. It fits.

The path is straight and narrow.

I have made a massive error in my spiritual seeking.

It was an error made on a subtle thought process, as usual. But the title is the advice that is relevant to this specific experience, I believe. 

The term, 'the path is straight and narrow'. Is relevant to what I have discovered in my spiritual seeking. I believe, in general. People have a somewhat fixed nature. The way their fixed nature might manifest is they may be very airy and flexible. But people, have a core of themselves that remains the same.

This core is who they are, but it becomes what they do. An example. A person that is excessively spiritual gets up every day and does spiritual things. They don't jump off and do non spiritual things one day. A person that is more focused on the grounded fleshy reality of life. A 'worker'. Gets up and works.

We each have different things that we are programmed for. Some people are programmed, as the law of One says about Carla, for 'the perception of beauty'. Or for heavy amounts of exercise and joy, and /or psychotherapy etc.

We each have spiritual things that fill them up. For me, as a seeker, sometimes it is a temptation to abandon the spiritual and wisdom based things I have ascertained to be my path. 

This is what I have done. My straight and narrow path is spiritual things. The human design and Law of One. Dream interpretation. Meditation etc. Which, if done consistently, eventually leads to positive change. Change is what a lot of people want on the spiritual path. Improvement. But change does not come, in my thinking, from actually changing your behaviour. It actually comes from doing well enough at repeated behaviours, at what you are meant to be doing, to get results. To reach conclusions. 

It is the inverse of that saying, 'The definition of madness is doing the same thing again and again and expecting different results'. No, for me, eventually my shift came after six or so years of dream interpretation. I get steady insights through my path. It is my straight and narrow path. It doesn't go outside of the Law of One, dream interpretation etc. 

But I did go outside of them. I have a path that is I suppose, lightly Christian. I keep getting insights into various aspects of Christian life. In my own way often (Like this exact post!) I do communion. There are things about Christianity and Communion that I can't explain. There are effects that go beyond what seems rational to me. 

So it seems obvious that if I were to improve or move forward, I should deepen my relationship with Christianity? As a conscious thing I can do. You would think so, but no. 

I did try that, and as part of that. As part of the whole "Jesus is an Essene" thing, from Aaron Abke. I tried going off meat as much as I could (I had a little Mackerel). Now I am paying for it. 

Previously to this I have known of many different serious health problems people have gotten from going vegan. Both in my real life and online. The problems can be very serious. People can die from veganism. 

So I prayed the Essene prayers. I tried to be vegetarian and this was NOT the right path. It is not my straight and narrow path. 

... and this, I should have known. I have found my path and I need to stick with it. It is a frustrating error for me to have made. It is a valuable lesson though, in that I hope I am not seduced off my "straight and narrow path" again!

Some thoughts on Human Design Motivation.

Wanted to write this article yesterday, but it is only after going for a walk, 9:30 - 17:00 with a one hour break. With a very heavy rucksack after the supermarket. That I feel clear and grounded enough to do it. I did almost a full work day of walking:

So this is the video concept I wanted to talk about. Human design motivation. I chose to excerpt Need here because it is my own motivation. But she has done all six of them. This was the best videos I found on motivation. Human Design remains very stubbornly subjective. There isn't a way, it feels like, in a lot of human design, to get more technical rundowns:

The Blonde Priestess: Phoenix Diaries day 124 Week 18- Human Design Motivation NEED:

https://youtu.be/33lHeUF26cw?si=QNLXGjRKk1u-_RXa

Motivation in my life:

I have very little to base motivation on. It is mostly close friends I have known for decades that did actually have their birth times. I have not ever read peoples charts in general. Like, done readings. So I can't talk about it from a position of having a lot to go off. 

So it is generally just general thoughts I have to go off. 

One of the first insights I got on motivation was from a twitter handle @ iJaadee saying that whenever she has made a decision that has been a big deal. That has worked out. It has always been accompanied with a lot of fear. Decisions that seemed right that weren't accompanied with said fear were not so powerful and generally didn't work out.

As someone with Fear transference, my motivation being need. This is pretty much the opposite for me. Yesterday, there was a confusion with the doctor. I received a text that was sent in error meaning I thought I was going to have trouble with the medication and the doctor. It kept me completely unproductive the whole night.

This is fear as transference to need. I need something. If I can't get it I experience fear. The fear of having my survival threatened.  

Other insights:

But I'm just going to go around a few people I have known and make a central point about motivation. One of the things I have noticed about motivation. Which might echo the original benefits I got, but are now largely forgotten, about strategy. Is that it has settled my annoyance at others behaviours that I think of to myself as being potentially not self or negative. 

For instance. I have had two childhood friends in my life. Two men. That are really big on going after women and one night stands and things. Something I mostly feel is a waste of time and a distraction from actually improving ones life. There is no negotiation here. They will ditch long term friendships over this. But, I looked up their motivation, and what did I see?: Desire!

I also knew a woman with guilt motivation. A very tortured soul. She was not someone I think was doing her strategy properly, owing to her eventual end jumping off a cliff. But I always noted, she had been an extremely powerful person when she was young due to her beauty. That was over and above that of even the average young girl. She had the body of Victoria Pfeiffer and was probably just a little MORE facially attractive if that is possible. 

It was subtle. She was mostly positive and more humble than a lot of women I have known. But there was an unmistakeable arrogance that I don't think she realised. A certain refusal to commit herself to objective reality. A certain belief in her own superiority in some ways, that I believe comes from guys not being honest with a woman so they can sleep with her, and that happening a LOT. Her entire teens and twenties being built on that in a very fundamental way that had never been questioned.

Had she relinquished that, and accepted the guilt that was obviously there but, she would never admit to about certain things, about misusing power. Then I think it would be a beautiful thing. That kind of humility from a beautiful women that had now aged out a bit. 

I think we automatically on some level known what others need, through our connection with the creator, and we reflexively imagine these things sometimes. Other times though some model of how we are viewing the world gets in the way. 

The last example is my half sister. That feels shallow and infuriating at times. Innocence motivation. For me, knowing that she is meant to be like that is a huge benefit. It really helps in accepting her as she is. It is kind of priceless in that way. I feel a strong need to rail against her to make sure she doesn't make self destructive decisions she will later regret. 

I remember saying to my sister once that I loved going to the gym because it got rid of a deep and powerful sense of anger I feel. She said yes that's true. I said to her 'you have never experienced that in your entire life have you?'. She laughed and asked me how I knew. I said that way she had responded, which was like a very casual 'Yah'. She laughed.

And deeper on motivation:

I have not yet mentioned my own motivation... 'Need'. I can't easily articulate it.  But one of the things I notice in general with motivation. Is that it can sometimes validate a part of ourselves that seems quite negative in a way. Like a nuisance. In the examples I gave. All of them came with a judgement that they were somehow improper. Desire and Innocence examples is that I feel frustrated in the motivation of another person. The guilt and need motivation is that the person themselves feels that the motivation is somehow improper.

The desire motivation example fits very well with the two guys. Especially when they are successful with it. Need motivation however, is not such an easy fit with a masculine identity. 

I have wondered to myself a bit. With a need motivation is it a legitimate thing for someone to say they 'need' sex? My sex drive is much reduced for medical reasons, and I can say that I don't need sex. But I have had the desire for female 'cute partyness' sort of stuff. I recall waiting at a bus stop after work, an attractive blonde girl walked past, she was in a group of about five girls and two guys and was saying something fun. I looked in her general direction feeling that sense of need, and she looked back, and it seemed very much that she just knew what I was feeling and was sympathetic.

The only other person with a need motivation that I can mention is David Wilcock. Who is a con artist. But is a very spiritual person with the same tendencies towards spirituality as I have. I remember seeing something from Ra Uru Hu about which kind of spirituality each motivation correlates to and need was correlated to 'Gods'. It feels like you go to 'God' with need motivation, because there is no force on earth that can satisfy a near infinite and constant need. 

I also feel that need in general gives me a kind of charm. That charm is lacking when I am not worked out and it becomes an exercise of approaching someone in a bit of a mad way. But when I have figured things out. The general background of needing something means that you know how to talk to people to get that thing. People often reflexively smile when I talk to them. People like to be asked for something that they can indeed provide. It makes them feel virtuous, useful, like there is a connection, and we are beings designed for service to others. 

There is a lot more I have discovered. Such as falsely satisfying a need, and how unproductive that can be. It is better sometimes for me to not solve an issue with a way that is not for me, and to then accept a strong sense of 'need' to propel my actions forward, because said issue is unsolved and 'needs' to be solved another way.

It also means that I have a good grip of what others need. The girl I mentioned earlier with the guilt motivation. I talked to her every day. I messaged her and softly nagged her. I knew she needed that. She was deeply lonely living alone and working remote. But she would never acknowledge that, she would pursue other things, and it was only after she had left my life for six weeks that she jumped. 

Conclusion.

This has been an uncomfortably disjointed and unstructured. This is because, I think, as I said at the beginning, it is very subjective. It is hard to come up with any information on motivation in general. Not many human design people have articulated much on it. It remains a part of the largely unconquered territory of the design. Something still to be talked about and worked through.