Mad politics and philosophy.

I didn't give credit for a previous decode on my youtube community notes. Although I would need to check that it was the guy who actually made it. But I will for this one. This comes from a twitter account @Cowboyw2b2:

I think these decodes are pretty much daily, or if not daily, still often. Even though the timing of two twitter posts is a little weak. When you add everything together it is not weak. (As in other Q posts as well!)

It makes me wonder about hope in general. If there is some sort of military force that is able to leave clues and prophesize things in this amount of detail. Then higher positive spirits and such must be able to do it to a far greater specificity. 

That gives me hope, and at the moment there is not much of it. For me personally, it feels like I have been gathering together all these various esoteric practices for decades. Meditation, visualisation, dream interpretation, prayer, Christianity, etc. and there are FAR more. And now it is time to actually apply them to difficult real life problems. 

The real life problem I have is that now that my health is better, and now that I meditated which gave me a powerful entry into my emotions. I have found emotions that are inconvenient. Loneliness. In a person that has been comfortable with solitude for a long time, and has adapted their lives to solitude.

Low status.

Also, it has been a long time of not having a job and so not having money. Not having money for a while, when I was too ill to do much. Well there wasn't much option. But you need money to enjoy life once you are well enough to do so.

And the thing I most want is... A playstation! Even though it feels like a loser thing to get. But I suppose it makes me even more of a loser to not be able to afford a £40 second hand playstation. 

Anyway, it seems like my energy is not working. I seem utterly unable to get myself together enough to write a youtube video or make a more interesting blog... Shucks!  

Perhaps in the lounging around I will have enough thoughts to put something together. As I was writing this I had an idea for something that could be very interesting. For years, I paid a lot of attention to a philosopher named Stefan Molyneux. I got incredibly angry at something he said. This was influenced by my medical condition that has filled me with too much adrenaline for years and integrated this into my personality, because it was my background emotion. A very complex psychological thing to figure out. 

Anyway, he wrote a response to me and I stopped going on the telegram and commenting on his posts there. The podcast was FDR 5217: The truth about mysticism. When I started meditating this came up as something to pay attention to. 

Now that I have got more into QAnon, which is a distinctly mystical, and anti objectivist cognitive process. It might be worth doing a video breaking that down. And when I think of mentioning Stefan Molyneux, I might include certain astrological relevances to his chart. Just because those are at the forefront of my mind. I would not want to use those points directly to challenge his free will, but I do want to say them. So the video could be hours long. 

Anyway, I feel a bit ashamed when I try and listen to that specific podcast that I have downloaded, so I have not listened to it yet. The emotion is too strong. But I suppose once I have, I might be able to form a video on this subject.

That was a surprise part 2

Yes, it is still a surprise. I have not recovered from. 

Catalyst is an interesting thing as discussed in the Law of One material and how such teachings manifest organically in my life. Quite often, when I get to really intense personal periods is when I suddenly have a whole bunch of insights.

In the specific case, there are two parts of me which I use to deal with the world. This is all new personal information. One is that there is a kind of QAnon/ Law of One type of mindset. One that has a lot of faith in these kinds of things. Second is a kind of Stefan Molyneux/ philosophy/ my own general skepticism mindset. It might be difficult to imagine I have that second side since my general output is so spiritual and such. But it is there.

The second one that I have for a long time thought was more reliable, relating the first one to schizophrenic tendencies. Has kind of fallen by the wayside after the election. Sitting on election night having been scared a few weeks previously of a Democrat win, I checked the human design transits and saw 1.1. Then a few more synchronicities and I could not undo that feeling. 

The result of said election where there was simply no deep state presence at anywhere near the level it has previously been. Plus, I have noted it being missing even before that. It leads me to think that the QAnon narrative I originally understood. Many specifics in that area. Is correct. This is quite a fundamental rewiring of my brain. I never stated I didn't believe in it. But I have generally not been interested in pursuing any understanding in this area, and my faith in it has definitely emotionally wavered before November 5th.

I want to, as I said in my last post, get back to doing youtube vidoes and blogging. Even though there is no direct benefit for me to be doing those things. I'm not getting paid. So there is no reason for me to push myself to do it when it is not easily accessible as a kind of leisure activity. But I do still want to do it. 

Nevertheless though, I am still recovering from this sudden shift in my beliefs.

That was a suprise.

Damn,

Today has been very weird. Just weird hyper focused bad luck. Things that don't make sense. My health has been in danger but that is not really unusual. 

I did a second communion just now and decided after that that my thoughts on Tarot in a previous post called 'Schizo tarot' was just wrong. I just completely span out of control for some reason. I am still kind of breaking down why it went wrong. I just watched that womans most recent video and enjoyed it. Although from that same post I am still going to come away from personal tarot readings. I liked this womans political tarot readings though.

She says something that I am starting to believe is true after this election. Or starting to re- believe... "White hats are in control".

It is taking me a while to put my psychological health back. To get on with basic tasks that need doing. But hopefully it won't be too long. I want to get on with making youtube videos again but I think it is a little way off.

The unbelievable benefit of meditation.

Out of all my self improvement tactics. Meditation is the most reliably positive. I would have listed all of the other ones to show meditation is better than all these. But in truth, some of the other ones have helped me out of specific binds where meditation was not so effective. So, when I had a psychotic break I could not do meditation because the psychosis would return. So I did dream interpretation. And I pray before my meditation sessions so that self improvement tactic is inseparable from meditation in a sense.

But recently, perhaps massively improved by my improved health. Meditation has taken centre stage again. I have always wanted one single thing that I can do. One thing that if I do that then I will be going in the right direction. At the moment, meditation is that thing for me. 

This was one of the self improvement techniques really heavily pushed by the Law of One, which is my spiritual backbone. The first benefit, is that I struggle a little to access and articulate my own feelings. Perhaps this is due to having schizoid leanings or perhaps it is a very normal thing. Or I have it just a bit more than others. But, I feel normally in my life, I simply can't access certain emotions. Then when I meditate I can. For instance, after a meditation session recently I was far more affectionate. 

I have been trying to access that sense of new feelings and emotions for a while, and I thought it was something that disappeared with my youth! 

The positive effects can't really be described. No matter how things are going for me. No matter how bad I feel about lack of achievement or some other thing. Low status. That half hour of feeling good, of being away from the world will still be there. And I can look for ways to improve it. Should I stretch or do yoga ahead of it? Thinking about using a pyramid or something else. 

I have had unusual feelings that I am not sure what to do with but that I have an instinct are the route to improvement for me. I have had insights that relate to the meditation that explain things in my life. One of the things I have become aware of. Firstly I became aware of a deep fear that I talked about on my community notes and explains why my youtube video output has dried up. But also from that, as I become aware of my fear, I become aware of a kind of vulnerability. A delicateness of sorts. It's hard to explain because I don't really seem delicate.

But it is these kind of things that we avoid, that I believe are thought to be the route to our improvements. Even though in the short term it seems to be stopping me from doing one of my other goals which is music. Playing guitar.

It has started to shift my life on such a fundamental level it may change the direction slightly. I have the suspicion, that after a while of doing this there will just be a bunch of coincidences pushing me in a better direction. I can feel a sense of a part of me preparing that.

Schizo Tarot.

(I decided this post was wrong a few days later but am leaving it up).

Well, with the way I experience life I realise I might not be suited to Tarot reading in general. I have been thinking about the tarot readings that I have absorbed and even though some of them are very effective and helpful in the moment. A better solution I believe, would be to have the tools to deal with those situations that the tarot is helping with that are better than tarot.

One of my strong instincts being someone that absorbs so much "spiritual" stuff, such as dream interpretation. Is to use every last bit of it and I realise that the tarot as a tool for future telling I can't really use. I use the major arcana in relation to archetypes. But I don't think in relation to tarot reading from now on.

I remember a tarot reading I gave at Christmas to someone that was spot on. It was so spot on in relation to the persons challenges that I had no idea about, that it's a weird thing to think about and during the reading, my mother had to keep on assuring her friend that she had not told me all her secrets ahead of time. 

Video of this post:

Case in point, I am going to do a bad tarot reading of this video here, I am going to do my instinctual reading of these cards:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxpIQaOuU5M

Laura's View and Tarot Too: A Peek Ahead, November 2024

These were the positions the reader ascribed:

First card, general theme, second card, clarifier, third card, hidden influence, fourth card, advice, fifth card general outcome, sixth card, where we should put our attention.

US: King of Swords, The Emperor, Nine of Pentacles, Four of swords, The Magician, Four of cups. 

Rest of the world: Eight of cups, The High Priestess, The Emperor, The Heirophant, The Magician, The Seven of Wands. 

The king of swords is known to be about truth and integrity and such, but when combined with the Emperor, I don't see the certainty that this is Trump. I would think that the Magician, the Heirophant, The Chariot, The Star might be Trump. But the Emperor is more of a long term and distinctly Russian kind of figure it seems to me. This could be Putin. 

The Nine of Pentacles is a bored rich girl. This could be the surprise voting block retarding the US movement forward into a sane foreign policy. Or even Kamala herself. Four of swords is exhaustion and burnout types of things. The advice is... There is nothing you can do about this! The magician is the direction of the conscious mind eventually leading to shock before entering the subconscious mind. The four of cups is the rejecting of an offered gift. What gift do the US citizens have to reject if Trump is President for he only gives good gifts? The rejecting of an offered gift is the gifts from Kamala's America. 

The eight of cups is overwhelm and confusion. Where illusions abound. This is how the outside world would respond to Kamala's victory. The High Priestess is the follow on from the Magician. It is number two in the Major Arcana where the Magician is number one. This is the fact that other countries have to then respond to a Kamala Presidency and to escalating global tensions. 

The Heirophant is indeed a difficult card which states that people languish in a good situation. Where there is wealth, soon follow heirarchy and entrenched power structures. Where there is chaos, there is problem solving and innovation. The only solution here is an empowering philosophy that justifies social caution and often social withdrawal, it justifies the application of charm. The magician combined with the following card is the sudden need to fight under this new situation. 

Conclusion

I really obviously hope that we have a Trump Presidency and a de-escalating of global tensions, but I have not seen much to indicate that the vote rigging has been sorted. Yes, there is one or two judge rulings and competant local politicians who are flagging things. But it just doesn't seem to me that the US population on youtube, have done any particular due diligance to justify they sudden faith that Trump will be President despite clear vote rigging in the last election.

These are just my thoughts. Like I said, I don't think Tarot reading is going to work any longer for me personally. I am pretty afraid of this situation personally and have realised that I have had a strong drop in productivity recently for this reason.

Strange social dynamics.

So todays video I'm going to jump off of is this one. If it doesn't embed it's called WHY WOMEN IGNORE 'NICE GUYS': ANDREW TATE AND SADIA KHAN, by SadiaKhanPodcast:

https://youtu.be/e0uxEsDE4aQ?si=6t2k6dI5QN8I3GoC

Going back to discussing gender roles that always feels a bit uncomfortable.

This clip was a bit of a shame it felt like to me. Sadia's point at the beginning was that you can get hot women that simply won't be approached by a certain kind of guy. 

This is something I have observed a bit of in real life. 

The complexity:

When I was a teen, when I was very young and putting together my ideas on the world. I was always told that men are psychologically simple and women are psychologically very complex. Women are 'complicated'. As soon as I got involved with the push and pull of life. Working with girls in my early twenties at the height of their power, and ability to create drama. With testosterone so high at that age (how do any of us survive seriously?) This belief system didn't serve me well.

Firstly, as women will say to me, my psychology, as a guy, isn't simple. My psychology is perhaps one of the most complex of anyone you are ever likely to meet, and that's because I have a strong schizophrenic leaning, and a medical condition that changes things around a bit for me. So as one example, it reduces my sex drive. 

I was also getting a lot of bizarre stuff from women. What I eventually came to understand was; "you know what, these women aren't that complex". What the utility of that insight was, was that when they would do weird semi abusive things to me. (I was literally stalked for a while). I could not be going around thinking that they were lovely mystical creatures. What I begun to understand, was that there is a difference between "mysterious". I.e. what almost feels like a gift from the Creator. Unwrapping a present. And "secret". I.e. the girl is exploring her options on the side. She is withdrawn not because there is some lovely, mysterious present to unwrap. But because she is keeping a secret. She is withdrawing parts of herself. 

The emotional to's and fro's of a girl that has to juggle a bunch of guys is not particularly interesting. It is kind of boring and trashy. 

The beauty.

But later, I did start to realise that when you get to know women on a more personal level, that there is a level of mysteriousness there. 

A big part of the mysteriousness of women though, firstly, they are not really aware of it. Women are also naturally secretive and they simply don't communicate in the same why guys do. The manosphere careful delineation of wisdom, including statistics and a kind of army like heirarchy, is not the same as womens incoherent babbling on Tik Tok. Womens intense aversion to introspection has been one of the things that has really struck me.

That's where this video comes in. Sadia started with a comment on how women might experience the world that I thought was interesting, then Andrew came in with standard manosphere points. Obviously, ones that he cares passionately about, and that is perhaps admirable. But in my personal experience, it is sometimes worth considering the female perspective here. 

I used to know a girl who had been deeply beautiful when she was younger. It has informed my view of the world to a great degree. The stories she told me of this, being ungrounded and unable to relate to the world due to the pressure from both men and women were not pleasant. She was a deeply miserable and tormented person. 

Sadia's point at the beginning of this video was that beautiful women don't actually have the same choice in men, and it is something worth thinking about I think. Even if this is due to her own hubris. Even if she is choosing that, it is an interesting point to consider as a sociological phenomena.

This girl I talked about, the 'beauty'. She struggled a bit it felt to me when she knew me because... I was nice to her. I am kind of deep with all my astrology and all that. I knew very specifically how to manipulate her (I'm actually good at manipulating women if I want to be) and I manipulated her to stop her killing herself. But I wasn't using that manipulation to make her complete strange sex acts or gain status in another way - she was confused by this. Knowing me, my perspective on things, and comments I made that she found interesting. I think she felt these improved her. My understanding of status and such. 

She had simply never known anyone remotely like me in her life. 

I am aware I am speaking highly of myself here. 

In a way I was playing the 'nice guy', or it might look like that. But I am not a nice guy in the sense of passive aggressive until I get laid. I am just all kinds of psychologically deep and spiritual. 

The world.

Now, going back to what I said earlier, if this is an issue for women. They probably are not going to articulate it. I imagine a lot of their experiences they never even realise.

But when I look at a girl like Victoria Pfeiffer. I instinctively know that a lot of guys who could show her a new way of looking at the world will avoid her and the ones that want her. Of course some will be fantastic people. But a lot will go for the status. 

A lot of the issues do have a self created element though, and it is for that reason I can't actually feel bad for them about this. A lot of twenty year old girls are really crappy to nice guys while they are chasing experience with flashy demons. Karma has to complete itself. But it is still something worth noting I think, all the same. 

My theory on karma is that when she is nasty to those 'nice guys'. They get angry and that's what creates the karma.

Dreams of death.

I wanted to do a post following on from this community note on my youtube:

I have discussed on this channel before opposing ideas of forgiveness without contrition. I am aware that if I am to talk about something like that it becomes relevant to explain how then, emotions are released and such, without that as a tool.

 

And I had a dream about this this morning. It isn't good 'form' in general I don't think to explain dreams but, I hope a small exception is OK.

 

There was a kind of 'low life criminal'. He reminded me of the corrupt cop in the first season of Lucifer. He managed to pull off both 'dangerous and tough' and 'kind of pathetic at the same time. He was making a deal with death and I was sitting next to them both. Death, this time in my dream and at others, has always had something distinctly feminine about the figure. Here there was no feminine form/ skin. It was more of a ghostly black figure that couldn't be seen. But the way the figure looked at me and felt, is a more feminine way of doing so. One of complete attention.

 

I am meant to be observing this story and not even able to be seen or interfere. Like a star trek style holodeck thing perhaps. Like peeking in on an already recorded scene in 3D. The deal this character is making with death is one that doesn't benefit him that much. But includes them killing someone else. This has a distinctly unpleasant feel to it. There is only more suffering for this character down this road. (I would assume!)

 

Since it doesn't bring him any benefit and I did not want the person killed that these two were planning to kill. I interferred with the scene, to the surprise of death, by asking the low life character why he was doing it, what he wanted, and asking in an aggressive way. He said he just wants to die, so I grabbed his neck in my arms and killed him. Death looks kind of pissed (plan obviously thwarted) and the dream ends there.

 

The one dream that the Law of One contact was asked to interpret they said that the dream was from a negative source so that does happen. Dreams can't be considered infallible. But if I were to take this as positive. I would think it would be something like that bible quote 'vengeance is mine saith the lord'. It strikes me that by taking this action I have made an enemy of death; by giving the low life what he wanted I have made an additional problem for myself. By alleviating his karma and the agony of his life I have separated him from malign forces, the suffering that his own character has earned.

 

In this case, the 'killing' of the character is a false form of toughness. The actual more ruthless thing to do would be to leave them to the karma of their own devices.

Annoying small formatting there. 

In my view this is a very interesting dream and insight. But I continued having insights into it after I posted this. 

Death being a ghostly black figure that couldn't really be seen is an interesting thing I think. And deeply feminine. Definitely some relevance to that energy in my own life. Death was kind of short as well. 

There is definitely a kind of misery that women in general can be kind of talented at. Definitely not all, this is not a red pill post or anything. But I remember when I worked in fast food. You get a bunch of guys together doing something that is not that high status, and they just get on with it. You would not be able to tell they had any inner conflict necessarily (doesn't mean they don't). But you get a group of women on a shift late night and you can FEEL the misery they bring to the interaction. They make eye contact with each other to communicate how bad everything is. It's like... Oh my god! 

Definitely not always. In one store I worked it was majority female and I never got that vibe. I think it happens primarily amongst women that think they deserve better. But in general, in my personal life as well, with women with depression and such. The energy of women to really engage with the misery that low status entails is really very oppressive in my opinion. 

That reminds me of this situation and how I have summarised it thus far. I said deaths energy was female, and the criminal character is engaging with that energy that is noticeably manipulative. In a way it could be talking about how people like that have women in their lives and so are subjected to that energy. Like, I don't need to bring karma down on someone that has a woman in their life that is committed to misery. Because that women day in and day out will concoct more and more ways to be committed to and spread such misery. 

Real life:

There is more to that female death though, psychologically, I believe. That black void that sucks all into it. But is not negative or aggressive. Still, not a person or energy I would want to cross. 

Way more to the dream though and the concept. Two things that both travel together. The QAnon narrative that I originally arrived at through David Wilcock fits with this. Rather than there being a magical new age fast mass change where the evildoers are all immediately arrested and the evildoers and conformists in the real world are suddenly unbelievably shocked. The idea of a slow, entropy laden society change where these people have to experience this degradation every single day is potentially a more potent karmic punishment. 

As well with David Wilcock himself. To put faces to this dream the low life criminal could have BEEN David Wilcock; and the person I wanted to protect, that a negative force (Stavatti) was agreeing with the criminal to target might have been Steven Cambian. I am powerless in any legal issue there but it still means I have emotions regarding this kind of thing. 

The dream of course doesn't just answer this single point if this were a correct interpretation. It will also give a general philosophical overview of such concepts. Never just the fish always to teach how to fish. 

I think my brain has kind of shorted out at this point. I did have an episode a few weeks ago where I got in a kind of anxiety spiral I couldn't get out of until I drunk quite a bit. I identified that I was doing too much and that dream interpretation was specifically something causing additional stress so I stopped that. Yet here I am!