Quite an emotional day for me.
I have decided that caffeine is indeed quite a problem. I have talked about this a lot.
Today, it hits me how completely I have lied to myself about the caffeine thing. It is in fact very addictive for me. I spent years coming off it as a kind of full fledged addiction in my twenties. I used to drink 2 liter bottles of diet coke.
To that end I am finishing up a certain amount of caffeine powder I have. It is one of the things I refused to throw away now that I have decided to come off caffeine. Porridge and latte's with chocolate. I have also brought probably the most chocolate I have ever brought today. Iced creams, chocolate bars, tins of chocolate coffee.
I am feeling kind of nervy currently. I have noticed I don't see so well when I have enough caffeine because of the heady, jittery, feeling. An increase in allergies.
I will need a bit of alcohol to come down from this. Then, after it runs out, I plan to stop for the rest of my life. The only caffeine I will have from now on should be for medical reasons, such as constipation. Or if the come down from all this is too hard. Or if I need energy. This is going to happen in tablet form. I am no longer going to romanticise the caffeine. It's not going to be chocolate or anything like that. If I have it, I am going to take it as a cold, non pleasant, tablet.
Apart from that I don't plan to have chocolate anymore for the rest of my life. Thus why I am having so much today.
Then, hopefully, I will get increased positive spiritual effects from not having it that will be a well earned improvement!
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