Check in post.

Meditation, affirmations (I haven't talked about this but I've made these work!) reading the Law of One and prayer. These are three things I do to improve my life. Meditation I intend to do everyday and prayer, I do everyday.

Friday evening I went for a longer gym session than normal. Rather than half an hour to an hour. I went for almost two hours. The effect was so powerful that temporarily. I didn't need any of the above strategies. I felt unquestionably good. I was good at dealing with situations around me with absolute calm. It was another world of good feeling. 

When I go to the gym and work well, I can feel more blood flow in my lower body than my upper body. So I don't think so much. I also had insights and started applying Law of One information to my real life, lines from the text I had not applied previously. 

Even though I discussed before that I had come off twitter. I change my mind. When I was not really well enough to do anything else. It did appear as a good thing to do for me to pass time. This is my issue with reddit though. 

Post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/1tshfnd/the_lack_of_jobs_is_meaning_people_are_being/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

The lack of jobs is meaning people are being forced to accept terrible working conditions and power tripping managers

Honestly working in general nowadays just feels like giving my rights as a human being away for a tiny amount of pocket change that barely covers my rent or expenses.

to make it worse you have to deal with completely insane managers who should never have been in that position to begin with but the people who mange them are equally insane most of the time.

I hate how you have to put up with so much stuff you never would under any circumstance. And the answer people always use to this issue is “oh just find another job then” no because there is literally not another job available ever in all of my time working there has only ever been the one job i got and never anything else “i could just go to”.

I’m tired of this bs. Put more jobs on the market, make society an actual community again rather than a selfish capitalist hellscape and start treating workers fairly. it’s not a lot to ask.

As you can see at the end there. My emphasis. 

"Put more jobs on the market". The person sees a kind of communist authority that is responsible for all the good things in life. And Capitalism is responsible for the entire issues of society. 

So they are the same kind of person as who I talked about yesterday. The kind that if they worked for Netflix, would protest Dave Chappelle having a show. 

I agree that this kind of thing is an issue, the main problem. But to me it is a symptom of government intervention in the market. Of high taxes forcing people to take shortcuts. Lack of meritocracy. It is very true the 'find another job' line. From left wing employers who have destroyed the rest of the market no less. 

If this persons life is improved. If political events force a better market. It will be in spite of this persons effort. Not because of it. If they got the political system they voted for. It will be the same gas camp scenario of the Soviet Union. The same starvation as the Holodemor. The same issues as Venezuela, Columbia, Mao's Great Leap Forward, and all the other times when Communism was tried. 

It's a good example of someone deserving their suffering. 

The place this was posted. r/Vent. States in it's rules that there are absolutely no political posts. So anything that were to come through even slightly right wing would be deleted for that reason, as would any comment to this post that would highlight that. But left wing propaganda is allowed through. Many subreddits are like this. 

So anyone going on Reddit, even the subreddits that are nothing to do with politics, is supporting the left wing agenda in general.  

Making their own bed!

A video:

Youtube: John Griffin Life 2.0: Pretty Girls, Broken Reality. The Paradox Nobody Warns You About. May 27th 2026:

https://youtu.be/NAqcMtBwLk4?si=M4VJ8nIrqGM-NOBE

A few posts ago I talked about "The tragedy of beauty". This guy seems to have articulated it all far better than I have. He has perhaps more real world experience.

I have been thinking a bit lately about larger spiritual concerns about the gender issue. Partly, I have just been thinking of women and having lustful thoughts. Walking around in the extremely hot sun in England.

Then I found out the sun messes with my medication and so I have to be very careful with exercising in it... Like walks. I wonder if this is good or bad in some way? Is the reduction of opportunities for lustful thoughts good, as in, saving me from temptation and trouble? Or is it bad, in that actually, doing some pursuing and being inspired by physical beauty is good? 

On to beauty as a subject though: First of all, if you take what John is saying here as a kind of root of a lot of societies behaviour. Masses and masses of women, are completely delusional. Then obviously it starts to make sense as to why some things are the way they are. For instance, I have sometimes wondered about the online 'narcissism' types of communities. And especially people like Dr Ramani.

When I first discovered "narcissism". I first actually found the videos compelling. I still do watch them occasionally but I have more carefully chosen the Creators I watch now. 

I noticed with Dr Ramani, that she is very deliberate in framing every single one of the issues she talks about as what would be the male form of narcissism. The dating side. Like, how a man might act in a date if he was a "narcissist". 

What brought this back to me was when she was saying that it was OK to ghost people if you didn't know them that long. And I knew she was talking about women. That she was excusing womens unethical behaviour but would jump on it if it was something that men more likely do. 

It makes me wonder how many difficulties women have that start getting explained as "narcissism". Actually had basic social dynamic explanations.

The one on the right is how the world has changed now dating apps are available. The issue this causes, is that many, many women will chase the top guys. Who then don't have a lot of time, so they just run through these women treating none of them very well. 

Here is another video of how women self sort into the category of getting used:

Youtube: Emilywking: Men are sick of this!! Jane 6, 2026:

https://youtube.com/shorts/mR0SlZhv-Mk?si=WqdwTPHTVIUdsX1P

What I am thinking here, what I am trying to reach for. Is that I suspect, it would be logical. That what is happening here is in some way part of "Gods Plan". That we will look back and see that it was obvious that the world needed to go through this kind of thing.

It is like another thought I have had. There is an issue with leftist unions and leftist workers in America. Where if a company, say a streaming company, platforms someone they don't like. Who is right wing. They will all protest in some way.

Then because their own behaviour has started causing the decline of the company. They band together, and attempt to force via a union a higher paycheck and such. 

Youtube: Lack of Entertainment: Leftist Unions Are A Cancer On Creative Industry: May 28th 2026:

https://youtu.be/p0oZA_F82Ws?si=dQ11Ba7x2Nu7WfS3

I was reading a reddit thread of a lot of people that were saying how their lack of money makes their quality of life worse. I have felt bad at times when reading these things at various parts of my life. But I have to think. If they are these kinds of leftist workers. Well that kind of makes sense! If they are working in a streaming services and their presence actually DECREASES the profit of the company. If they are essentially... Negative productive. If they are deeply wedded to these insane, destructive, ideas. Which effectively enforce poverty on anyone. Then doesn't that make sense?

As I have mentioned before. Several points of the Law of One emphasized that people sometimes needed catalyst to change in certain ways. In the Significator of the Mind. It is noted that negative catalyst can produce positive polarity and positive catalyst can draw out our negative side. 

I think this is something the Significator becomes aware of and reverses to some extent. Such as in the practices of appreciation in things like Christianity. I would say most people function without a strong Significator. 

It doesn't feel clear to me at all what the future is. What, if any, karmic deliberation will fall down on these individuals? Is this deliberately angelically created? I was coincidentally reading on a youtubers posts section. That in Matthew 11 Jesus said that the fate of a town of sinners on judgement day will be worse than Sodom. I was in fact reading that same chapter a few days ago. 

Would this karma be met by the emotional distress of having political ideas they are obedient to destroyed? Like, Trump grows. Restore takes Makerfield in the UK, and the march towards right wing dominance continues? 

Would it be a change in social priorities that brings about said karma? The right wing men, previously powerless, shunned etc. suddenly having money and power? I can't see how that would change anything, because I have seen so much simping in my life. I can't imagine there would be any situation where men didn't make things as easy as they could for women. It seems to me that only a minority of men can really hold them to account.

But, I don't know the answer to these questions honestly. Neither do I have faith in any specific set of circumstance. I believe good people are protected. But whether the "bad" people are punished... Or what precisely is to be done with groups of people that are actually delusional? 

There is no way of handling all of this that feels particularly satisfying to me. 

Prayer. Politics.

I want to make an unusual post.

Firstly, I wanted to really reflect on the change from having turned my prayers around. From "protection" prayers. To the one that I talked about replacing it with. 

It has made a huge change. But even though, in my mind I can map it all out. Mapped out two previous dreams. Ways my mind has changed now I can't map out "negativity" in the same way. Like, I can't hook on to ways of condemning what I see as negative behaviour so easily. And even deep internal changes which seemed to have changed the way I look at sexuality.

It all seems way too nuanced and personal. Suffice to say, I do think it is a legitimate spiritual teaching to move away from verbalising protection prayers, especially when given terms like "evil" within the prayer. But also, perhaps there is a free will problem or some other issue. I won't verbalise that further.  

I used to use protection when I meditated as well. I do not pray for that, but when I am anxious, I do put on a visualised "light shield". This does not conceptualise any kind of evil outwardly thing. Visualised light is wordless. 

What I wanted to mention though is... politics. Something that I think I have largely stayed away from. At least since coming back to this blog. 

In the UK, there is an important by election that is getting a lot of news media attention. From what I have learned. Bearing in mind that I am biased towards Restore and the "real" right wing. Is that Restore. The kind of "Donald Trump" party. Has a huge volunteer base in Makersfield  While the other parties do not. It is all to play for. But out of Restores potential voting pool. Out of the people that voted in droves to hand Rupert an amazing victory in Great Yarmouth. Were people that in general do not vote. These are the same people that are discounted by traditional pollsters. 

It is very interesting. There are three contenders. Labour. That is the mainstream position. The one supported by the BBC. Restore. Who is Nigel Farage's party. Nigel is generally considered to be controlled opposition, and an unpleasant person who is must pretending to be revolutionary, but is probably an intelligence asset. And Restore. 

But Restore is not being talked about in the mainstream media. They are mentioning it here and there. One Times journalist mentioned that they are never prompting the discussion but other people are bringing up Restore. I heard the BBC talk about all this a few minutes ago and they are not mentioning Restore. Only Reform. 

So what could happen. Is that on June 18th, when the by- election is held. It is Restore that gets in. And the leftie luvvies of the mainstream media are not prepared for it. Mainstream people would simply not have heard that much about Restore. 

Which would be pretty cool. I feel like it would be the beginning of a powerful energy change in the UK.  

Improvement from insights. Steven Cambians coverage of DW.

Already, I mean, within moments almost. I seemed to have experienced strong positive effects from the taking prayers of protection out of my normal repertoire. 

I would normally perhaps, take a bit longer to take in the effects. But, I have experienced the same thing before when I have stopped prayers completely. So I feel I have enough information to come to a conclusion.

One of the blockages I have noticed within myself is the "women are cute" kind of thought process. It's a kind of annoying and a bit nauseating internal thought process. Infantilising them. But I cannot seemed to have gotten rid of it previously. It just seems to be "there". 

I believe that Stefan Molyneux's idea on love, that love is "Our involuntary response to virtue if we are virtuous". But this has not been able to be applied to a few women in my life. In my past. I can recognise that they have basically no virtue that I can identify. But my feelings remain very positive towards them.

Well, since stopping the protection prayers, I, all of a sudden, do feel that sense of "repulsion of the magnet". Towards said women. (Is this understanding turning to acceptance?)

I don't quite know what has happened here. My internal dynamics seem to have massively changed because I am retro actively, taking in some of the female rejections I have had. It feels like. As though the prayer of protection. Was blocking off some legitimate criticism. 

It could also be that "protection" often involves walking on eggshells around some abusive figure, the one that we need protection from, the one that would cause harm. So perhaps the "women are cute", is a way of preventing legitimate criticism of them. Which would then lead to pushback from them. And women in this society are extremely dangerous. (Reputation destruction, social ostracism, false accusations etc.)

It is an extremely positive change I think. I wonder what change this will lead to in the real world after a couple of months of having changed this thought pattern. Potentially this would open the door to other positive processes like entropy. Which can kind of collapse non useful thought patterns.

Out walking today, I remembered a girl that I had seen walking past a church a few months ago, and having not been able to stop thinking about her. Just pure attractiveness. I imagined talking to her and the kind of humourous lines I would use. All of a sudden, this whole thing seems kind of cringey. I have a repulsion of the magnet from the entire thing. All of a sudden it seems that the kind of "immature" kind of frame I would use is ridiculous. (It is one I used with some success with a girl that later rejected me!)

Donald Trump was rude to Rob Reiner.

Based on all the right wing women suddenly turncoating because Trump was "rude" in their estimation. Any right wing movement has to prepare for the moment when women stab them in the back en mass, for something like this.

It is very likely Rob Reiner sexually abused the son that killed him, he made pretty direct jokes about this. I have no patience with these super passive people! Evildoers must be opposed, and the turncoat right wing women, have no authority, and do not deserve the authority. Of speech policing everyone!   

Youtube, Marks Cosmic Adventures: Trumps 3rd Term. David Wilcock's Dildo Stalking! End of the W.H.O. Project Blue Beam imminent? May 1st 2026:

https://youtu.be/vdqF1nsLOcA?si=UiPNpLqlq_doW75_

The discussion is from about 14 minutes:

16 min: This guy, and I understand this guy, and I think it is important, that we question people, when they are making big claims. I do, but there's other ways of doing it, right. I don't think it's cool, to find out where somebody lives, go up to their gate; and then find out where somebody goes walking to plant something, as a joke. That is stalking. And that is outrageous. 

Well, I don't agree. 

Firstly, "there are other ways of doing things". When pushing back against someone like David Wilcock. I would like to know what his ideas are. Especially since he seems the type to platform someone like David Wilcock. He has just platformed someone that says that Satan was killed on March 22nd. 

What would be a good way to oppose him? To start off a little foundation thing like James Randi? This would go nowhere, and to make a platform out of opposing people like David Wilcock. It has to be humorous. 

Let's actually look at David Wilcock and the things that Steven Cambian has investigated him for.

The Pete Peterson Go Fund Me scam. Even the new age knew there was something wrong with this one. The money just disappeared into Davids account for several years and was given to Pete Peterson 3 or so years later when there was too much attention.

The Emory Smith scam: Emory Smith was in hospital for "deep state attack", and David was getting his audience to send money to him. But Emory Smith had a drinking problem and was in hospital for alcohol poisoning.

Platforming Corey Goode and supporting him against Gaia: David Wilcock was responsible for Corey Goodes rise to fame and all the resources he got from that. After which he started a stalking campaign including taking pictures of peoples houses in order to intimidate them. David enabled someone that went on to sue his critics, sometimes causing them a great deal of emotional and financial distress. 

David Wilcock should have been in jail. Steven has mentioned that he has talked to people that were giving their last paycheck to David and could barely afford to eat. He was a constant victim. He made up a lot of things about Steven Cambian including that he was a hacker and a child predator. (This was years later than the Dildo thing)

David, it seems to me. Wanted the world to just shut up in exposing being a con artist. So he could carry on being a con artist. And when he couldn't. When people said "Actually, no you are a fraud, actually no you haven't paid your taxes". Out of protest, he killed himself. 

He definitely deserved dildo's buried on his hiking trail. So that people could become aware that he was not, in fact, a psychic. 

And Marks Cosmic Adventures did precisely nothing to oppose David. In fact, he enabled those that support the general paradigm. So he criticises those that did oppose David. From his little porch.

I recall when I was a lot younger, I had inherited money and I would read David Wilcock a lot. I was a true believer. Steven Cambians coverage "saved me", in essence, from that madness that was making my schizophrenic tendencies far worse. I remember thinking I could invest in Davids film and looking back now reflecting on how vulnerable I was. I didn't do it, since I knew my family would not let me do it. But even so. There are plenty of people out there like that.  

Applying the Law of One (Prayer, Free will).

It's very sunny here in England. English weather is extremely variable. Partly from the humidity. It makes the cold colder and the hot hotter. You are either in a fridge, or a sauna. 

Yesterday, I fell asleep before doing many things that were important for me to do. At 21:00, slept through to 9:00; and I would've slept longer had the neighbours lawn mower not woken me up. 

I forgot my second prayer for the day. Also, I have had prayers of protection for the night time, a third set, but about 1/4th of the time I don't get to those. 

The same thing happens frequently when I have forgotten to pray. My dreams improve. And I have often wondered if the prayers are blocking out some sort of helpful energy. 

This is the reason, as I have discussed before, that I have stopped prayer previously. I do wonder if there is some other thing I should be doing. Some other spiritual practice I should be replacing it with.

But then I stop prayer and, predictably, my life just disintegrates. Problems far more serious than low level of dreaming appear. 

Today, also in conjunction with chatting it over with Grok. (I ask Grok to draw Tarot cards frequently.) I had a realisation that aligns precisely with the part of the Law of One I am reading at the moment. 

Of the prayers I say, I say three that are from the world, already out there somewhere. Then several, five to ten or so of my own made up ones.

The three prayers from the world. One of them is the prayer of Archangel Michael. Another is one I got from a Q post. 

Both of these discuss a battle against evil in some manner. This is very much not in line with the Law of One. That advised reframing experiences generally in a way that does not cause conflict. So a "negative psychic attack", becomes a "negative greeting", as an example. 

It could be that these specific prayers are not good. The ones blocking information that is relevant from coming in. 

It is likely that the spirits, or the part of my mind responding to this prayer. Are not able to fully know if something is good or bad in the large sense of things. Things are a risk. If I meet a hot girl. There is a risk she will jump off into kind of sociopathic behaviours. Cheating, creating drama etc. But there is also a risk of the girl deciding not to behave like that, and/ or me gaining something from those behaviours. Like, say the experience put me in contact with other interesting people. Or creating a good song.

It could be that the block of protection would just block the person out as an 'unknown'? 

Another example is, if people are sending information to you. If they are angry at you and you are receiving it, assuming that paradigm (Psychology would call this a conversation with your internal objects). Then their perspective might be based on nothing, societal brainwashing and lies. But that is still, nonetheless, their perspective. So receiving that energy might be helpful. It might be like 90% lies, and 10% truth?

Applying the wisdom. 

The dream tonight, I concluded from it, that I have framed previous situations in my head as my deliberately breaking contact with other people. But that's not the way it is, and I do not know why I did that. Perhaps it's a locus of control thing. The truth is... They broke contact with ME. This changes the conversation a lot. If I were to see them again in the future. I could say that. Especially if people were to frame it as me breaking contact with them, as it means they don't have to explain anything. It places the burden of the broken relationship squarely on me. This dream is a pretty priceless piece of insight.

I have had dreams before that far more directly gave the guidance that protective prayers were an issue. Years ago. About four years ago now. But I have only just got this! It could have been though that in that specific case. The protective prayers were preventing people from moving against me!

It is difficult holding my identity as "Christian". When I do not believe in salvation by faith. I was thinking it through today. But I do still pray, and do communion. I do believe in a God that is relevant to my life. My identity is closer to Christian than atheist. 

But, looking at the motivation of my spirituality. It is clear to me that it is very much based on Carla Rueckerts teachings. As I was reading in Book V of the Law of One. 

On that note. Even though this does not feel explicitly comfortable. I have replaced the two prayers I mentioned above. Which I am no longer comfortable with. With one that Carla said every day. The Prayer of Saint Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace:
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
where there is sadness, joy.
O divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. 

Changing this prayer around this morning has already had a strong effect. I feel, moreso, that I have not prayed. It seems to me that the two prayers I got rid of are the ones that provide much of the strong feeling I get from prayer.  

In the Law of One, the contact also told Carla she had been praying a certain prayer so long that it had manifested in her real life as it got to the roots of the mind. So it will be a while before the effects of the protection prayers fall away and, assuming I stick with this prayer, the effects of this one grow and manifest.

Deep teachings. 

Another gem, actually in line with what I have just discussed. Is this one. I am going to shorten the quote. It is a long quote but I only read the first line and wanted to sit with it:

Questioner: The instrument had some question as to her vitality. We were having a hard time appraising it. Is it possible for you to comment on this?

Ra: I am Ra. We scan this instrument and find that we may be of service without infringement due to this instrument’s decision to abide by the most careful appraisal possible rather than the most desired.

The profundity of this statement to my understanding of free will. Is spectacular. It has become suddenly clear to me that I might have never understood free will at all. 

So if someone asks a question, but the answer they want is not the truth, it is against free will to tell them the truth? 

We are held to less of a standard of free will than an angelic entity. But I always just assumed if people asked a question, then that was the free will permission to give them the answer? This explains a lot of discussions and experiences I have had.  

I do not necessarily think we are held to this standard. Like, Stefan Molyneux says that if your friend is going to marry the wrong girl. You stage an intervention. You tell him why. We are not floating in the ether with a constant awareness of the Creator. We live in the real world where things like who our friends marry is important and will effect us a great deal. Jesus directly corrected people a great deal. 

There is also the real world. Like, if someone says "who won that political race", and the candidate they hate won it. There is also objective reality meaning you have to tell them. Politics is interesting in that way because the law of free will doesn't seem to hold a lot of sway in politics. The losing side loses, and that's it. The economy crashes, and that's it. 

But even so, just for understanding the concept as a theoretical, in it's purest form. This one is big for me. I still can't quite get my head around it. This level of purity of free will would seem to disagree with the concept that correction was ever possible, I suppose in this case it was as it is desired. It probably also links to the Transformation of the Mind, and the hardening to the world of the negative polarity.

 

Finding outer teachers.  

Last point, all that stuff I was talking about yesterday. Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. If this paradigm exists it will definitely exist outside the Law of One (a point I find Christians in general are resistant to. If their ideas are correct they have to exist outside the bible).

I found this video today while on youtube, I think it does very well in squaring with the Law of One ideas. In a sense this guy is doing what I am trying to do, since I am trying to find and discuss tools that improve life. But he has focused on self help types of sources so maybe he has done so in a slightly better way. Whereas my focus is more squarely/ exclusively, on spiritual and metaphysical ideas. 

Youtube: Clark Kegley: Is "letting go" part of acceptance? October 30th 2025:

https://youtu.be/T4Y-BQOIYHU?si=GmHSrdb_yeAm3fxs 

 

Phase 2, Acceptance (Law of One, Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness).

"Sucking all into it". 

Before I begin this. I want to give an example of what I understand to be left wing politics. I have realised, now that I am writing up what I think my process for improvement is at the moment. That a great deal relies on right wing politics. I do wonder whether this "work" can be done if a person is left wing. I am not saying it can't be. But I will summarise what I think the issue is with it. 

Say you have a private school and a public school in the same area. The populace are all texed. This is a small scale example so say it is £10 a year for the public school. There is also, as I said a private school.

30 of the inhabitants send their children to private school, and the other 70 go to public school. 

The private school, as is the ideal and often the practice of the free market. Incentivices good behaviour. If there are lax teachers they are fired. If there are good ones they are promoted and their efforts go to further improving the school. 

The public school works a bit differently. What do we generally know about the public sector? Well, the public sector has received money via the initation of force and redistribution of wealth. So it really does not value meritocracy so highly. The public sector does sometimes, but often it doesn't. It's survival is not dependent on it and there are other things it considers. Such as ideology, the person that is loyal to the ideology and the group beliefs tend to do better.

But once meritocracy gets taken out like this. Also, often, the Unions are powerful in the public sector. Being left wing. This means that every corrupt people that do not produce wealth. But are good at social manipulation and playing nice with the true believers. Or being true believers. Gain positions of power. These people are also corrupt and inefficient. So the school does not do as well as the private school.

When DOGE went into USAID, a lot of public sector workers were found to not be doing anything, and were thus fired. It seems likely to em that any public sector has this effect for this reason. 

The public school and private school function differently. The private school produces results. The public school does sometimes. But other times it has entrenched corruption that leaches resources straight out of the school.

The public school starts to fail. They don't take any accountability. They don't fire the entrenched parasites. They simply don't do anything. To fix this problem they will need... more money of course.

And so taxes are raised. The taxes are now raised to £12 a year. Inflation and any other issue caused by governments is also happening. Such as money needed for war or something. That produces nothing for the populace. So the following year. 27 of the students in the town are in the private school, and 73 are in the public school.  

The next year the same thing happens. Now 24 are in the private school.

The point being is that this kind of system functions exactly like how the Law of One described the negative polarity. In one of the sessions around the displacement 68 - 71. I think 69. The negative is like a gravity well, sucking everything into it. 

Understanding. 

I am going to summarise a lot of my understandings that are political and I believe help me in this overall process. Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Summarising that about the left I think is relevant. 

It has become clear to me. It feels like. Or I have a hypothesis. Of what the process of understanding and acceptance means as a process. I have no idea of what forgiveness means yet, but will think it through at the end nevertheless. 

The general understandings I think I have worked over in my life thus far are. I think I am into acceptance a little now which I will also summarise. This is going to be a short list indeed considering how long the list could be.

A) How my illness and health has effected everything. 

Up until January 2023, I was of the general perspective that I was healthy when I was not. In fact, my health condition was extremely screwing me up. Effecting my behaviour quite a bit. Obviously this understanding was very relevant at looking over my life. (My health is far better now. Not all the way but better since I got new health tools in January 2023)

Not having a lot of successes is explained by this. When previously I didn't have a good explanation. 

B) I am a spiritual person.

The Law of One and Human Design. Also mental health information and dream interpretation. Show that I am naturally a person who focuses very much on this stuff. For a few years I was not doing a lot of this. 

C) Larger political dynamics.

Understanding things like DEI, feminism. Allows me to move about in the world with the knowledge that failure in the area of say... career. Might have other aspects to just my own personal effort. 

D) Philosophical stuff. Such as my understanding that forgiveness without contrition is not legitimate. 

E) Women stuff. 

This single picture explains so much for men:

 

A lot of young women are being passed around by the top guys and a lot of the on the ground guys are not experiencing a lot of romantic success. 

A lot of these things can explain to me why I am not doing better in the world and if I did not have them. I would be forced to introspect based on the idea there was something inherently wrong with me. I would have to investigate based on those ideas. 

Another example which is relevant and important to the acceptance bit. I have also learned that a lot of my friends and such didn't like me. A lot of workplaces, the people there have not liked me and have gone to some effort to socially exclude me. Dream interpretation, astrology, and videos on narcissism and things have all informed this.

I also, understand a little that these people are also very often leftists, and very often disturbed in the head. The left wing ideas don't just mess up larger things. Such as our ideas on violence and free will. But it goes right down to personal identity and everyday choices:

Youtube (short): TaylorisOnline0:How the left has altered the idea of identity. May 23rd 2026.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/2VfXRsTLmMM 

Acceptance.  

Now acceptance is a different thing. I don't think it involves the process of mentalising so much in general. Or maybe even at all. 

There is a point I want to come to about forgiveness as well. I have talked a lot on other blogs about my disagreement with the idea of forgiveness without contrition. And I can stand on the shoulders of Stefan Molyneux in that conviction. I have made very good points which people simply ignore if I bring them up. 

There is a lot to accept here. In what I have summarised. 

A) A chronic illness has severely screwed up my life and quietly stolen a lot of really good things. I talked about a friend I had recently. I realised I was quite ill when I knew her and for that reason I was much reduced in my ability to share good perspective and enjoy the friendship. 

B) A lot of things here, have meant I have had a bad social life. One is the illness. Two is the left leaning ways of my former friends (and family sometimes). Three is lack of opportunity, linking but not exclusively from the illness.

C) On top of the lack of good things here, there is the presence of bad things. Such as bullying and social ostracism.  

D) The same thing with relationships. 

It is a lot to deal with. A lot to accept. For instance, I imagine if I was in a better social standing. People that I have known that one of us has broken off contact with, might not have been such an issue. If I had a girlfriend things might go more easily with my half sister. Connections with attractive women would improve many things such as that. Whether I would want said friendships or not, a lot of guys would have more to do with me if I had attractive women in my orbit. 

So one of the things that needs to be accepted here is that people are like that. That they do see me like that. 

A lot of these understandings, like political things, Q etc. Do not have anything to do with my personally. But help prevent my getting lost in unproductive ideas. Also, with the Q thing, faith.  

Acceptance is of the body. 

As I said before. I think acceptance is primarily a body thing. I think when the Law of One contact said Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness. They were talking about Wisdom, Love and Power respectively. 

I think there are three things that work with acceptance. A) Applying understanding. Like, if I understand that I am a spiritual person, the more I do spiritual things the more I accept that. Meditation etc. B) The gym and body work in general. By cleaning out all the adrenaline from these sorts of situations, since a lot of this stuff stays in your muscles for years. I think you accept it on a deep level. C) Therapy, like counselling. Obviously some of this is now not functioning so well due to leftism. But in a primary sense, before you add in those problems. I think therapy does help with that. Even though therapy also does the understanding. 

I feel in some way I can't articulate. Like, I can't explain WHY it is, but I feel strongly that it is. That this acceptance is a very effective revenge in some way. To hold the relevance of other peoples behaviours without flinching away from it seems to me more damaging than if we were to go out and actually find the person and screw them over. 

These people are allergic to truth and just holding a truth like that is damaging to them. Even if it is just quietly felt within. Like, how the world tries so hard to tell you you can't have your own emotions, and especially angry emotions. Which is why the forgiveness without contrition ideas exist. It wouldn't be so important to them unless it effected something in the real world. 

But like I said, exercise is the thing. I can't afford therapy but I am member of a gym. The amount of good feel I get from that can barely be described. I feel like I have been robbed sometimes after I go. Yesterday, I had written a youtube comment about how I did not like a lot of TV, including a show I have been watching. After I got home from the gym I just enjoyed it. I saw all kinds of depth in it and really enjoyed it. So I deleted that comment. It just feels good in a way I can't describe.

The Body and Forgiveness.

I wonder if this stage of the process has another function. Can we really forgive someone that is in a lot stronger position of power than us. When we are in a lower and possibly dependent position? I don't know if we can, I think, I suspect, that it is simply a situation that is too similar to a negative heirarchy.

For instance, if a woman cheats on her husband and has him over a barrel in relation to potential divorce court. From that position if she tells him to forgive, can he? I don't think someone can in this position. 

Which is why I think the animal stuff is relevant. As we get healthier bodies and are more able to be in an animalistcally strong position. So our "forgiveness" can hold weight. I wonder if this is another part of the whole "Understanding, Acceptance and Forgiveness" process?

If things did work out for me, then it would change my power relation to a lot of said people. 

And... Forgiveness.

I do not know what this actually means, I have not experienced it. It would seem to me to be hypocritical for me to talk on something I have not experienced.  

There are a few general notes here though.

One: That perhaps when the Law of One contact talks about a "process", that means that the process is a thing that does not always complete in exactly that way? For instance, if the person does not offer contrition?

Two: As I just summarised. Could the process be stopped at acceptance if I do not get into a powerful enough position in an animalistic sense that such people would condescend to interact with me?

Three: I don't know if the Law of One contact was explaining this as the end of the spiritual process because Carla was very Christian. But if more questioning would have given more answers here? 

Four: Like I said, I would need to experience something to be able to understand and describe it.  

Anyway, those are my general thoughts on the subject.  

The Significator in real life.

 

The Significator as put forward by the Law of One.

This is one of the twenty two arcana which the Law of One focused on towards the end of the sessions. In the Law of One, archetypes are kind of like the structure of the universe. There is one singular arcana called the fool. Then there are seven of the mind, seven for the body, and seven for the spirit. 

The seven of the mind, body and spirit are: Matrix, Potentiator, Catalyst, Experience, Significator, Transformation and the Great Way. 

It is talked about, that at an earlier time in our existence. When humans were god like with the ability to perform miracles with ease. This was because we had complete access to our subconscious minds. That their were only nine archetypes in existence. The Matrix, Potentiator and Significator of the Mind, body and spirit.

So I will put a hypothesis quickly as to why that is. In the Edenic conditions of ultimate power. People had their conscious mind, their subconscious mind, and what the Significator is... Which is our 'answer', our "raison d'etre". Obviously, this being a very deep thing considering the source. Reason for being doesn't quite capture it but it will do. It is not completely personal in a sense. 

After the veil went up between the conscious and subconscious minds. It changed our emotional relationship with 'reality'. Everything become more complex. With multiple pieces that sometimes worked together. There were also new archetypes. The conscous mind, lead to the subconscious mind, lead to the female side of the unconscious mind, then the male side. Then the significator. The transoformation, for the mind, was that once we are on our path. We need to be very careful about how we then relate to our subconscious. Imagine it like a philosopher, musician, a priest. Has to carefully relate to their subconscious mind to continue producing material. 

Real life.

Now I want to bring a bit of real life to the conversation. How I think it works in real life. And likely, how it has related to me in real life:

Youtube: T Red: Misandrists Are Furious Men Won't Date Them: May 20th 2026.

https://youtu.be/_dwS5JZ9JkA?si=o_bjbgriKP9mECa-

This is a very interesting video. I love it when you get women upset, but then you go back to their earlier videos and the behaviour that lead to it. Which is often unethical and obvious. Is clearly talked about. 

But the point I wanted to bring up was the one closest to the end. When women say that they didn't like a guy because he is boring. He did everything right on the date. But he was boring. 

To some extent, it seems a lot of the world is so messed up that nothing is going to sort it out (As the world also includes things like inflation, politics, many different things!). The reason that some men are boring, is because they work all the time. So they have the money that women are looking for. But it is often the unemployed guy that has had the time to develop the humour and personality that girls like. 

But there is also a polarity side to it potentially. To the people who have not done a lot of inner work. And it is talked about in that Significator card. Sometimes the girl likes the drug dealer, and turns down the guy who is normal. Not boring. But just not criminally insane. 

In the card above, you can see that the princely figure has his left arm on a sword that is stabbing a white figure, and his right arm holding a ball. There is a figure in black   

The Significator.

The reason this is, is because it is often negative catalyst that brings out the positive side of us and vica versa. This is the reason I think that people see a "boring" life, such that the Law of One would encourage. As boring. But in fact, it is not seen like that for people very positively polarised. The devout life. With simplistic tasks appreciated. With an emphasis on serving others. Rather than drugs and craziness. Is the more service to others way. 

I don't know this for sure. But I suspect that, the reason this is on the Significator card. Is that once you have your answer. Your reason. Then it allows you to counteract this absolutely crazy and dysfunctional way of being. 

Thinking about Christianity. Which is many peoples "reason for being". It has things such as having appreciation for everything. Which allows you to live in a simpler life. Things such as prayer and meditation. 

The entire structure of Christianity and the family in general. Has the effect of counteracting this tendency. For instance, if a woman has a father and brother nearby, they will not likely be encouraging her to date the drug dealer. 

Free will.

I also wonder slightly whether the significator has something to do with free will. I recall when I got my first job. I was very much outnumbered in that place. I had the medical condition that I have mentioned. And it was not at all clear to me how damaging it was to me. I had friends at the time that in retrospect, didn't like me. And I was deliberately socially ostracised from the social life at that job. It is amazing now I think of it. Day after day I would go there and I was constantly social at that age. Never did I see any of them outside work and this was very deliberate. They were all hanging out together. 

In a way, as I have learned through dream interpretation. When enough people are against you, you kind of subconsciously calculate that you can't oppose them. You can't see things so easily. This is one of the things that starts to undo itself when I have gone to the gym and done weights. It is easier to see that kind of negativity with blood flow, increased strength etc. To clean all that adrenaline out of your muscles. 

Understanding, then acceptance. Understanding the bullying and information control and such. Then acceptance. I am in the acceptance phase now as my body adapts to this. As the adrenaline from such things is cleaned out of my system. 

But the point is, while I was there. I had not obviously had the family upbringing to give me context for this. So I was kind of like... it felt like I had no free will in a sense. Information was kept from me. It was not obvious to me everyone was socialising and I was not aware of it. (I became aware of it 12 years later when Jupiter returned to the same position and I had the same experience again!)

I was only operating in the careful reality I was presented with. Because people were playing mind games in a sense. And I recall the feeling of having no free will. Being walked through school. Reading fiction all the time. Then getting a job. Just kind of going from one thing to the next without having any internal awareness. Any internal push to be able to actually navigate the world.

But then also, the Law of One was there. In my mind, this is what seemed to have given me those things. 

It feels like that is my Significator and when I looked at it I became more aware. More able to navigate the world. 

This may fit in with Stefan Molyneux's definition of Free Will. "Free will is our ability to compare proposed actions to ideal standards". When I found the Law of One. I had more ideal standards. Service to others and such. 

And with a society which is more strongly Christian, and is more strongly philosophical in sane ways. Then the significator and free will would be far more easy to access.  

The tragedy of beauty.

I thought yesterday, after writing that long blog that took a lot of energy. (I went straight to bed after that). That I would not be writing one for a while. 

But technically, since I have stopped going on X. I still have the energy of wanting to express myself but I have reduced my ability to do that. So perhaps I will be posting more. Like I said as well, since I have stopped twitter my "inflow" has been different. Inflow is a huge element in writing something like this. When I was still listening to Stefan Molyneux, I found it easier to write. His show makes it easier to think in a sense as he lights up your brain. Now I have stopped X and am listening to more youtube videos. So I have shifted a little more to more personal subjects.

I wanted to talk about this video:

Youtube: Gracie Draskovich: pretty women live in a completely different reality: May 22nd 2026

https://youtu.be/wMFNj5mufyI?si=dqXa3DrIn_u2c1HP

I really think this girl "gets it". She has a lot of videos on her channel about being selfish and such, one of them entitled "start being mean". I think women like this do have to do a lot to protect themselves and have to emotionally justify that.  

Screwed upness of life. 

I wanted to know if my half sister was put under any of these pressures. I wanted to know if she was hot or not so I said to her in an email, since I cannot perceive that myself, being her brother (yes, that is a little extreme, but it was the truth at the time. I could not look at her and know how attractive she was, and I have schizophrenic tendencies, I am a little weird) Can you tell me roughly how attractive you are?

She wrote back saying that she felt I had crossed a boundary by asking that question, and that was the end of the relationship I was trying to grow with her. This was the last of a very long line of disrespect from her. 

I think I have a better idea now because I had a dream with her in (not sexual of course), where that subconscious block was potentially cleared.  

Anyway, on the video. I just wanted to talk about this because it has had an impact on my life. I am not a beautiful woman. When I was younger though. I was attractive in a way that lead to strange behaviours from women. Including several years of a kind of stalking. (More like harassment, the girl didn't want me but wanted to harass me into chasing her. Disturbed woman!) At the time it put me under so much stress I stopped putting effort into my appearance. I stopped gelling my hair and such and I never got back into it.

I do want a little of that energy back now though. (And the hair too!)

"Look on down from the bridge".

But I had a close friend, I might have mentioned a few times here. Who had been very attractive when she was younger. She had kind of aged out to the extent that is relevant for children. But I noticed that other women would get stressed around her because I am big on reading body language. I used to like that. She looked almost exactly like Victoria Pfeiffer. 

She was one of the most lost people I have ever met in my life. Some of the stories she told me were morally disgusting. It had appeared she had kind of floated through life as this kind of ghost and people had treated her badly on her journey. 

She told me how she had gone around the house of a couple she had known and while his girlfriend was in the other room. The guy in the couple had made a pass at her. She had also had other men behave strangely. Throwing away absolutely everything, badly threatening her friendships, in order to get some of her "company". 

She had also had the normal things with women that had undermined her. One of which had thought she had made a pass at her boyfriend and turned an entire workplace against her. Without ever confronting her on it. 

The woman was like a confused, ghostly, wraith. The vulnerability was intense even from the perspective of a female baseline. You could see her across the room and think "That is an extremely vulnerable person". I feel I should also mention in fairness she did crappy things to others at various times. But she seemed unable to understand the situation she was living in, and unable to gain any clarity on her world. 

The suffering was intense in a way I can't even describe. A big part of it I think is that men simply would not be direct and honest with her. A person cannot live in a hall of lies for that long without coming to strange conclusions about life. 

My friendship with her ended a couple of months before she killed herself. 

I am still processing that. I want a clear direction of how this 'catalyst' is meant to improve my life in the longer term like the Law of One teaches. I also feel blocked in life in general. I am having insights and attempting to use them. 

I did a tarot reading on myself recently that stressed the need for personal care and healing. I had thought the tarot was telling me that tarot is not a useful modality for me personally, because it seemed kind of like irrelevant information. But I don't know. Now that I have directly looked into this wound I can kind of see how it might be relevant. 

There is more I have to say. I think it might be relevant and profound. But I don't feel able to say it.

Serenity in any coming chaos.

This is going to be a long article. It started off as two, but I realise the concepts link to each other. I hope to express something quite profound. A deep, relevant understanding. I am going for quality over quantity in this one. I hope to write a long article today and perhaps not write another one for a short while. One good article rather than a lot of general thoughts. 

First a song, I am going to plug a few lyrics into this song in a little bit:

Youtube: Jenny Jih: Stars - Calendar Girl (w/ lyrics). Feb 5th 2013

https://youtu.be/-R8fcMTGLtM?si=emT0YV_QzaPCZEsp

But this is actually the video that starts the conversation. That song is literally just a song:

Youtube: Kaylen Marissa: Humanity is going Extinct. May 3rd 2026 

https://youtu.be/-ZsrPwuJZwE?si=3MD1Rf-DRkc4dDJn

Coming away from twitter, that I have mentioned in one of the recent blogs. There is a sudden gap in my routine. When I eat I don't log onto twitter. When I watch TV I don't have it open in another tab (I have two screens).

A lot of people are just posting their thoughts on youtube like this. In a very casual style. It is kind of nice. A lot of videos like this one of people just talking on their perspectives. 

One of the things that is relevant here I think, is that, this girls status is so much higher than mine. It boggles the mind in a sense. Society has taken the natural beauty and sweetness of a young girl and added a whole lot more to them. Via DEI and a general cultural conviction to never hold women accountable. Also, the trashing of mens status in general, and a decline in the economy meaning men cannot prove themselves. 

This is relevant to 'the great work' I think. This is my astrology chart:

Normally I get rid of any information that would show my age. But I can't really do that with an astrology chart. Even a low level skilled astrologer could get my birthdate down to about an hour if they wanted from this.

The point here, is that my goal is generally to unblock my musical ability. Along with various things such as being loyal to the Law of One and working on health issues. Mental health is another issue. 

I think my chart is interesting, but I will not talk about it. Not enough time here. The relevant aspect here I want to talk about is the Venus inconjunct Neptune. 

An inconjunct is an interesting aspect. Its shadow side has been very relevant to "psychosis" that I have previously experienced. That psychosis was an unbelievably strong sense that a certain woman. It was two at different times. Was a soul mate and every thing that happened that pushed it away from happening. It arrived with unbelievably strong feelings. 

Venus Neptune connections are to do with the idealisation of beauty and/ or femininity. With an inconjunct though. Whatever energy the two planets are expressing needs to be expressed indirectly. Not directly. 

What does that mean? It means that a healthy way to use that energy. Is to express it through music. But not to believe it or really feel it on a deeper level. 

Since this energy remains in my system if it is not used properly. I have the choice of using it like this. Or using it in another way, of idealisation or demonisation. I am perhaps one of those classic schizophrenics that I have heard Jordan Peterson talk about, who has to create or they go mad. 

My experiences with women. When I index the library of such experiences. Outside of family. Is uniformly not really that good. Nothing to build on. But trying to get that sense of positivity back can be partially done through these kinds of things. To lead back to music. 

The deeper pattern. 

A bit of a song I made to the pattern above. To the song structure of the first video. I do make my own songs. Which I feel to be profound when I get back to them. Something I truly value. But I sometimes plug my own lyrics into another song structure.

I will list two verses and the meaning behind them. One was that I had absorbed, without meaning to. A lot of David Wilcocks explanation of what the higher forces are about and the right way to be. 

David used to talk about the Dream voice. He used to say that when you go to sleep. You can capture what stray thoughts are at that time as a kind of prequel to channeling. 

I realised though, that I should really be using that for something I care about. I used to note down stray thoughts along those same lines. As "guidance". But I've realised I am not trying to channel. I have enough guidance and my perspective is more about appreciating the simple things in many ways. I don't need some amazing voice in the sky. But I do care about music. So I should be only noting the musical ideas that come out of the "Dream voice". I should be training myself to notice that.

Which lead to this set of lyrics about David (Again I will mention, to the structure of the song at the beginning):

I listen to your words. I took it all on. 

I heard it until I forgot my own song.

That was because your words, lost the meaning they had,

and it left you so endlessly sad. 

A few verses later, this is the one I had about the second video:

She's looking for colour, it's turning to grey,

It is the warmth that has flown away.

To be a mother, to hold a small hand in her hand,

But the game, she does not, understand

Meanings.

I wanted to talk a little on the meaning of the second verse I have written here. The first three lines are obvious. But the last line. It sounds like it could be condescending. I want to describe what I mean.  

Women live in a different world to guys. Having inherent status is a whole other game. If you see a guy talking about something on youtube. It is usually deeply analysed. A lot has gone into it. 

This is not less so the case with women. The same amount of energy and thought might have gone into something. But not analysis. It is scientifically proven that in every single country. Men follow politics more closely than women. 

"The Game" that I am talking about. Is all the manipulation in the mainstream society. How for women, as Pearl Davis talks about. Even going in a truth direction, can start to move against you.

This girl will probably be fine because she is very attractive. Like, very. Probably close to the top. 

I have a block. I am way more reticient to explain my perspective here than I was when I drafted this in my mind. So on to the next thing. 

Relief. 

When I saw this guy. I felt an incredible sense of relief. Someone was talking in the basic paradigm that I understand to be true. He talks about meeting other people that are like that. I have felt England to be as a whole, so brainwashed at times:

Youtube: Marks Cosmic Adventures: It's Getting Weirder Isn't It? Monitor Demons Everywhere... May 15th 2026:

https://youtu.be/iYdlqFfJ1zw?si=57360TQtF6qjo42M

The reason I am bringing this guy up. Is not at all to actually talk about anything specific he is saying in this video. But I just want it acknowledged that this paradigm exists. One where spirituality, politics, and ideas such as new age metaphysical theories and extra terrestrials, are all linked. 

It comes down to what I think might be the point of my life at the moment, in the technical, not larger sense. 

At the moment I am reading the Law of One and I have learned several things in just a few weeks. 

One, by stopping prayer briefly I learned that prayer is indeed very important.

Two, I tried Keto and realised it is definitely not compatible with my health. 

Three, I decided to stop drinking any alcohol. I never drunk much. 

Four, Another issue with medication and health in general. 

While going through the Law of One book V it has prompted each of these. A) The book talked about Carla getting offered LSD while I was being offered alcohol B) The points on negative greeting that I talked about in recent blogs. C) A point on exercise the relates to point 4. 

The point.

What I want to talk about though. Is assuming this Q type of paradigm is correct. Things are going to work out in a certain way of the population becoming more and more aware of a very unusual paradigm they are living with. Of technology, and extra terrestrials etc. 

In my view, what has happened since about 2020, is that a lot of the really negative things have been taken out of the background of society. Since then, in a lot of very subtle ways. A lot of people are being given the opportunity to relax and strengthen before the coming tasks. A lot of people are not working due to a broken economy. A lot more thinking is being allowed to happen. 

I have this theory that the black magick was reducing the positive spirits abilities to guide us on a personal level. 

The point being is at this moment. To repeat myself. People are relaxing and learning their lessons. In preparation for the coming change.

For me, I think I know what that looks like. As I have grown closer to the Law of One. As I have started to get it recently. With prayer, meditation, reading the Law of One book and such. Is that I have legitimately started to come off of "transcient" subject as the Law of One advises. To really emotionally understand that. To feel it. 

When whatever is revealed is revealed. With all it's horrifying weirdness. All the sense of betrayal humanity feels. Hopefully. I will have the personal strength to be able to tune out of it. I can be an island of serenity as people, that have never been introduced to this previously, can process all of this stuff.

Conclusion.

At the end of all that I'm not sure it was that much of an interesting point. But it's what I had to say for the moment.   

Improving the body.

I wrote my post yesterday, truly believing I had a simple solution to improve my life/ health. "Do more exercise". And that doing that would absorb my energy and I might not be posting here. I am stuck home today. Not able to do exercise due to health reasons. It is obviously more complicated. 

Yet here I am:

This Pearl Davis tweet is not about her usual subject matter. It is her explanation of a long term effort to lose weight and what she has learned.

She knows more about it than me. One of the things that people that lose weight say a lot is that if you lose it quickly. You also get it back quickly. I have lost it quickly previously. When she posted this I was getting results and thought I knew better. But I have, in fact, gained more back. 

She stated that she gained 2 million followers on youtube and ran marathons, and both of those things were not as hard as losing weight. I think somewhere along the lines of 45 lb's. 

The thing that I want to emphasize here. Is not her specific advice. Even though parts of it are definitely good and relevant to me. The point is, is that this is the amount of care and attention that is needed to improve health outcomes.

One of the things she says is that you need time to move these habits into your life. A person needs six months to focus on one specific thing. What the nutritionists and personal trainers do is that they overload people with all these things at once, and then the person tries it for a while but falls out with it.

There are many things she has said here that I will not need to do, and many areas I need to put effort into which she has not mentioned. (Pearl does a lot of exercise so didn't mention that!) But the point of looking at it all carefully and slowly integrating changes into a persons life I think is a good idea.  

Fogginess.

Not much to say. Just a quick check in for a few reasons. 

A) I am not going on twitter anymore. Elon has stated that he is starting to do a rate limit process. Where users who are unpaid can post twice an hour. I had not understood how much going on twitter effected me. I would often go on all day. I would be on it all day from when I woke up to when I went to bed at night.

But if Elon is putting in rate limits. He basically doesn't want me there. The Law of One is quite clear that on the service to others path you either offer service or withdraw if no service is requested. 

The amazing thing for me though is that I didn't realise how much of my cerebral energy was going there. There are a lot of highly intelligent comments on X. A lot of highly complex. Political, scientific, philosophical, or just all around deep posts.

When I am not on twitter. I find that I have more of that cerebral energy. I find that when I wake up in the morning, I can go on philosophy youtubes. Which is something I really like and was not able to make myself do previously. Might in the long term improve my output here. I am also reading slightly more. 

B) My health struggles are not yet fixed. I thought they would be fixed. But it doesn't look like they are yet. I also have a new complication. Gaining weight has thrown up an issue for me as a type 1 diabetic. My insulin rates are set. But there is a huge difference in insulin requirement between resting and active now I have gained weight. There is also other strange things. Such as that my body has a craving to supply sugar to all of itself but seems to only have the appetite to supply a thinner version of myself. There is definitely a tension there and I have a theory that there is in fact a natural inborn mechanism to try and get back to a healthy weight. Even if a lot of people don't have an experience of this. 

Put simply. Really simply. These are interesting insights I think. I have a lot of insight into metabolism and such being a diabetic and this might, given enough time, provide insight into how the body works in general that can inform others trying to lose weight. But simply put at the moment. I am kind of compelled into exercise. I am going to do low insulin and cover the shortfall with exercise. I need to modify my life to accomodate this, and will probably have experiences in exhaustion and such.

This is all a bit stressful and weird so I am not focusing on writing the blog. As in, I am literally not focusing. Not deciding not to focus. Not feeling clear enough to write. 

I have been having my normal profound thoughts. Reading in these areas and such. Reading the Law of One. But at the moment because of all this health stuff I am just completely lacking clarity.  

Book V. Second blog post.

So, continued thoughts here then. Following on that Law of One section I quoted yesterday:

The work that was perforce mine during this time of psychic greeting
was, as Jim pointed out, very helpful in focusing my will and attention. I
remember feeling tremendously uplifted and held in safe hands through all of the
episodes. The key was the surrender to seeing one’s own dark side. I think Dion
Fortune’s description of how to deal with a vampiric entity, in that case a wolf,
still to be the most direct example of the understanding needed to move through
such times. This wise soul had a wolf appearing at her bed, during training in
white western ritual magic. The solution was to draw the wolf directly into the
breast, loving it and accepting it as self. Against fearless love, the powers of
negation and death are helpless, and melt away.

I think those of Ra were very careful of our group, compared to some sources,
who did not show much concern that they were wearing the instrument out.
Advice such as was given for me could well apply to anyone who must husband
one’s energy 

Wolves are lovely. My last dog was a wolf. 

What strikes me here is how I am quite sure this is not my preferred attitude to handling negativity in general. 

We know that Jim, the Power person and sixth density Wanderer. His perspective was perhaps one of increasing power. If the entity shows you a weakness, then you can appreciate that. It improves you. Carla's here, the Love person and sixth density Wanderer. Sees it as an opportunity to Love. In a way that I find reflexively disgusting. You do not let the predator into your space. 

What of the attitude of Wisdom? 

I have found through trial and error that sending love in any form to people. Having that as a solution to outward problems. Doesn't seem to work for me. I prayed once upon a time unsolicited for people. After I discovered that in the Law of One they advised to send love to the fifth density negative entity. I figure there is no problem with sending energy and free will. Thinking back on past women and desire for them is an energy that I can't do much with. But I can transfer that sometimes to some version of 'They are the One Infinite Creator'. 

It's a question without an answer yet. But I wonder if Wisdom has a different response to this? I remember there was one session where Don was asking the contact if there was anything he could do to improve the fifth density negatives experience. I recall something of the answer which was "Service is only possible to the extent it is requested". 

Perhaps there was confusion here because it is wisdom that needs to be immediately applied to the real world? If you say you love someone you have to immediately do things for them? That wisdom has no preference for feelings like that that are "unmanifested"?

For that reason, perhaps the Wisdom attitude to... "Negative Greeting". Is along the lines of something else? Withdrawal? Ignoring an input as irrelevant?

Perhaps not. But I thought it is an interesting idea to explore.  

Check in, comment on Law of One book V.

Just fixing my health. As part of my quest to become a real health nut. I am stopping alcohol. I used to keep open that door because it seems to be better for communion, but it might be time to close it. If the rule I have in my head is "alcohol yes", then I can't say no to alcohol. If the rule I have in my head is "alcohol no", then I can't say yes to alcohol. Been messing myself up a bit with drinking alcohol. 

Drinking plenty of Pepsi Max though (which I had this big insight recently I shouldn't be drinking). I get very dehydrated and tire of water. 

I also need to wait for the effects of medication that will kick in tomorrow before I really feel well. So a short entry. This is also why I have not been posting.

I am reading the Law of One book V at the moment. Book five is different from the first four in that there is a lot more commentary from the Law of One trio that wrote the book. 

Reflecting on this verse. 

This from Jim:

The following information gave us some insight into how one’s choices
can be used in either the positive or the negative sense even when there is
the seeming interference of negative entities in the manner of what many
light workers call psychic attack and what we came to call psychic greetings.
We chose the term greeting to emphasize that there does not have to be a
negative experience on the part of the one who is greeted and that the
experience that the one who is greeted actually has is in direct proportion to
how that entity looks at the situation. If one wishes to see such a greeting as
a difficult attack, then that becomes the experience. One can, however, also
choose to see the Creator in all entities and events and can praise and seek
the light within any situation, and then that will tend to become the
experience.
When this latter choice is made the psychic greeting becomes a great
blessing in that it presents to the one who is greeted an intensive
opportunity to see the one Creator where it may be more difficult to see and
which, when accomplished, develops a great deal more spiritual strength
than may normally be developed without the negative entity’s aid in
pointing out the weaker areas of our magical personalities. Psychic greetings
can only be offered by negative entities’ enhancing our own free will choices
that are distorted towards service-to-self thought and behavior. Our poor
choices, usually reflecting a lack of love towards another or the self, get
magnified by the negative entity and bleed away our efforts to seek the light
and serve others until we are able to balance the situation with love,
acceptance, compassion, tolerance, and the light touch. This is why Jesus
said to “Resist not evil.” To resist and fight is to see someone or something
as other than the self, as other than the one Creator. That is the negative
path. The positive path sees and loves all as the self and as the One.

This is a hard line to hold. This kind of positivity and appreciation for the negative. I don't quite know how to process it. It is not something that comes to me naturally. It is not an understanding that naturally "flows" for me!

One of the other things that I have thought through. Talked about before, is Stefan Molyneux's definition of Love. "Love is our involuntary response to virtue, if we are virtuous". So that would not include malevolent aliens that have nothing better to do in their lives than sit there and try to mess up our lives psychically!

I wonder if what Stefan is talking about here is 'the pull of the magnet'. In that when they were talking about choosing an archetypal path. Astrology, tarot or the Kaballah. They said you choose the one where you feel the pull of the magnet. This might be what Stefan is referring to. Like... do we want to hang out with someone or not? An inner knowing. 

But love as defined here. Seeing malevolent entities in a loving way is not quite that. 

Regardless, whether I am right or wrong about these things. It seems to me that it is something that will take a long time to understand. 

Conclusion.

For me, things are going well. For some reason. There is just a kind of click. A kind of luck. Things are just flowing more than they once were. I like my identity as someone who does not drink. Now that I drink a lot more water and have other healthy habits. I may be better able to handle the non alcoholic varieties for communion.  

Getting things right.

My "output" is currently in flux. 

I have had a mega success spiritually. I have got my meditation right. Meaning. I have been having deep, semi religious experiences meditating. One day it felt like I had got deep enough to feel a part of myself that just seems to have the answers. That just emotionally knows if a question is important or not. 

Part of the improvement has been reading dreams before going into meditation. I... obviously... have a very active and technical mind. One that kind of grabs things like a dog grabs a bone. When meditating. If the first thing I let my mind do is to focus on the dream interpretation. Which is hard work mentally. Very random. Very difficult to find patterns in... Then either I get insights. Mega bonus. I am very stuck on that particular month. Or my brain gets tired and I go into a deeper meditation. 

I had an article written about 2/3rds through. Talking about David Wilcock. Going in depth through the way I saw his mindset. Correlating it to my own. Which is very similar. Schizophrenic tendencies. Obsessed with the Law of One. Explaining how I think he might have been thinking. I think I have a significant advantage in my understanding in that I have looked both at the skeptics. And the other more positive sides of his output like understanding the Law of One. The time he spent at llresearch. 

But, I deleted it. It just didn't seem relevant. People are going to believe what they are going to believe. In many ways my new meditation has kind of blissed me out and lead me to believe that not a lot of stuff is important in general. 

I do want to mention one thing though. That is kind of political:

 

The comments revealed on that second image, that the son is actually doing very well. The parents show off about their son even though they have behaved like that. Apparently he never offered one word of complaint but then just cut them off.

What I am about to say actually does relate to the meditation. It was strange when I was meditating that there was some sort of conviction that "it is all in hand" when it relates to karma. Not only that there is some sort of grand plan to make karma happen. But that karma is somehow instantaneous. I may have to go back for more answers on this. 

The trouble is with meditation is it seems to strongly emphasize subjective sensations like that. That are not always that outwardly interesting. But if I had gained information from observation. Then it would be easy to express in a way that was clearly positive and helpful. 

The point of these two images though. Is the gender balance. In many many areas of life is clearly skewed towards the female. Without this fundamental situation changing. I don't see how we can move foward as a society. 

I had once imagined that at some time in the future, we would have a massive disclosure and a lot of women would realise that the feminist agenda came from a very negative place. That a lot of politicians they believed in are extremely negative people. That this would break the society in a way that would be obvious. And karmic.

But now I am wondering if that is not how it will go down? It could be simply that AI takes a lot of the jobs that women are doing. It could be that things just move around in a way that can't be directly challenged or articulated. But the change of which, would mean that a lot of the people that don't want to. Never have to confront how crazy their beliefs were, and how much damage they did. It would be consistent with how free will works. 

In my view. This has been an uninteresting post and I should probably wait for a little more clarity before posting again. Just an fyi. 

Transcient information.

Having got home today. Just taken the dog for a walk. I am never prepared for the amount this exhausts me!

I realise there is nothing else I have to do than watch TV. I have read as much of the Lord of the Rings as I can. And for whatever reason. Perhaps because I have matured, and am reading way more complex stuff than I was as a child and would read all day, or because my brain has been through the ringer; I can only read a little bit at a time. Like, a chapter. Then I need some time to think about it. 

So I've done all the reading I can. I am thinking about my complaints about the liberal infiltration of media in relation to this Law of One quote:

Questioner: Do you say the United States actually has a manufacturing plant in Mexico?

Ra: I am Ra. I spoke thusly. May I, at this time, reiterate that this type of information is very shallow and of no particular consequence compared to the study of the Law of One. However, we carefully watch these developments in hopes that your peoples are able to be harvested in peace.

In this section of the Law of One. Don is talking about something that is really, really important from what I would understand. If we were to understand the secret technology held back. We would be able to literally heal disease. 

But Ra, a being far higher and with more understanding than any of us. Is saying that no, this is not important. The important thing is our individual understanding of the Law of One. 

It is a bit of a contradiction because it seems to me very obvious that we should oppose "evildoers" in our lives. But in this sense, it is not the case perhaps. I saw this today:

Not something Don asked on. Unclear if he was not aware of it or did not think it was something that was relevant to ask. But this information is 'negative' in a sense. In that, even it's utterance brings to mind service to self ways of handling the situations. 

The Law of One would have classed this kind of stuff as transcient information. So we are not to engage with it? The Law of One was quite clear that doing service to others things was the thing to be doing. Classing even, as in the above quote, relevant conspiracy information as "no particular consequence in the study of the Law of One". 

Also mentioning in other parts that doing things like meditation has a clear and powerful effect on the world. Lightening our kind of collective mind. 

The take away being is that being stuck, without socialising opportunities to spend your time at instead. Stuck watching TV. Is not the end of the world. That that is a more transcient concern I would think. It is must something I do while I write blogs, play music, and get on with other tasks.  

TV is getting too bad.

A bit of a different topic for this post. 

I have realised that to talk on this point, I have to be so careful about spoilers that I might as well just not mention the shows specifically. Just talk about what is generally true of modern shows. And generally true of older shows. 

Here is a video that is backed up by all the comments and many other videos on youtube about the same subject:

Youtube: Lack of Entertainment: How The Boys Became Insufferable:

https://youtu.be/KAHFQepXYqI?si=KZfIOyvIIKTwhgNs

There is actually a lot that needs to go into this. A lot of thoughts. But I will not be too long on all of it. 

I am finding an incredibly reliable pattern with a lot of these shows. They hundred percent know what people want to watch. So they make a good start of a show and get people hooked. And then add in the liberal agenda at the end of the show. When they have nothing to lose. They screw over all the characters people like. They humiliate characters in a way that doesn't make sense (such as Joker 2). In 'The Boys', they gave redemption arcs to the black characters. Only the black characters. Which didn't make a lot of sense from the set up. 

Redemption arcs or "villain arcs". One where a previous good character becomes a villain. Are very often done wrong from my understanding. In a sci fi show I once watched, a character who had unbelievable love for his daughter goes on to become space Hitler. It just didn't fit that he would be able to love like that then decided to try and kill the entire world for a personal grudge - to kill other young women like his daughter. The Redemption arc in 'The Boys' didn't make sense either. In the other direction. Characters who were set up with no moral fibre. No seeds of goodness at all. Later turned out to be really good people because of... 'blackness' I suppose. The melanated skin inevitably produces moral fibre apparently. It produces 4th dimension vitamin D and grows the conscience.

One show that has not done this, I suppose, was Picard. One of the older shows that I liked was Grimm. It became a bit silly but was a good show. But a LOT of shows have, either this problem. Or another problem. 

I went back to older shows and I have also found these not compelling. I will perhaps give other shows another go. Or even the ones I didn't like. But there is a definitive lack of understanding of human psychology in some of those older shows. The characters act kind of sociopathic for no reason at times. I have felt an even bigger repulsion to this at times. It is quite maddening. Preach to me about the beauty of black skin liberals. I cannot take anymore of these closet sociopath characters in older shows. 

I wonder, a deeper question then. What is the function of all this TV? Am I wasting my life? Well, that's debateable. I do have a lot of free time and I do do other things in the day but watch TV. Including reading the Law of One and other books. I would have got a playstation one by now if I had more disposable income. I binge watched seasons 4 and 5 of The Boys in a couple of days when I was quite ill. Not able to do anything else. It was in a period of non prayer and hopefully, now I am praying again, that won't happen frequently. 

I think, pretty much everyone is lounging around not doing much at the moment. With the economy so completely dysfunctional. No one has any money for leisure or to pursue meaning. No one is having kids or dating, apparently. 

But even so, I can't help thinking that there must be some other option to watching all this TV.  Some other thing I could be doing. I get quite tired reading. I don't like to watch too much youtube because it is intellectually taxing and we all need some chill time. I was watching powerful concepts a few hours ago and stopped after ten minutes because I was not following it. The concepts were too profound.

All are interesting things to consider.