Healing games.

So I watched this podcast and I had some thoughts on it. Really as much 'thoughts on this podcast' and also, a jumping off point for my own blog. This is planned to be too long to comment on the youtube video which was my first instinct:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LHLaxz8OQDQ

If the embed isn't successful then the podcast is youtube: Human Design Coffee Talk: Episode 17. Everything is on fire. 

To my thinking. This is quite a 'good quality' podcast. It connects very spiritual concepts, like the human design and various other things. With practical, even mundane, grounded reality. Non sacrals it feels, often, to their detriment, can float away from that, and I make it a priority to appreciate this aspect of generators.

Before I begin with what I want to say, like my jumping off point. I just wanted to note that at the beginning, the brunette (visually far easier than Theresa and Abbie is Brunette and Blonde respectively!) Mentioned that she had gone to a Teal Swan event where Teal had made a prediction that Trump would be 'the last American President'. This was yesterday I think and on twitter today, there are multiple clips of Trump saying to Christians: "Get out and vote, this is the last time you have to do it I promise. We are sorting it out so you don't have to do that".

Of course, the term after the coming 2024 elections is 2028, which is one year after 2027, and the human design has a lot to say about 2027!

The puzzle.

My thoughts on this area have been so intense that I am going to divide them into separate "puzzle pieces" and put them together at the end.

Puzzle Piece #1

The first puzzle piece, and I suppose I should express this partly for just relateability reasons is I have had an absolutely horrible day. During the night I had a medication mishap. Which put a lot of additional pressure on me as I slept. As a result of this I felt I was in actual hell. Rife with torture devices not seen in a hellraiser film! This is not the first time my imagination in that area has shown a rather brutal creativity. I was spending time with victims of these torture devices. As a result, I feel pretty bad at the moment. As well as this I have been trying to get back to a positive baseline spirituality. Which I seemed to have moved away from due to a bad health habit I yielded to. I did a communion on Friday planning to do another tomorrow and it will be the first time I have done two communion in a week.

I have never had a problem with alcohol though (in normal non university halls of residence, amounts!), so I might crack open a beer while I write this!

I will be mentioning this though in relation to a Law of One commentary on 'entropy' as an energetic construct. Stay with me here! 

Puzzle piece #2

Wow I have had a weird life. Lacking in almost all the markers of a "normal life". When I was young, I remember being quite frustrated and during a spiritual moment when I felt "connected". A kind of prayer moment I asked what the point of all this is? What am I doing here?

The next day something was different and everywhere I went I had a vivid awareness of peoples auras. This was very strange to me. Completely unusable since I had no use for it. I was not yet able to articulate, like I have done on my youtube, precisely why I don't feel I am suited to being an energy healer. I did not see a use for auras outside energy healing and I was getting distressed. So I closed the ability down. 

I did confirm this accuracy a few times with people. Sometimes by predicting things people did. Sometimes by direct conversation and confirming things with people. 

One type of person I could not see into often though was attractive women. It would just switch off and I would see nothing, no energy field, on a woman in my own age range. I will come back to this. 

Puzzle piece #3

My health condition has a gritty animalistic side to it. It encourages unbelievable anxiety, mood swings, and is known to mess up the brain a bit - I believe it was related to literal schizophrenia as alluded to in puzzle piece #1. A lot of my younger life has been spent in feelings of unbelievable anxiety and not being able to articulate this. But also, my youthful testosterone got mixed up in a very stuck animalistic sense and one of the things I recall well is not being able to separate things in my mind. Everything was mashed up together. 

This is also related to/ shown by perhaps, I have the gate 58.2 in my human design. A line which produces endless perversity. This is in an undefined centre. It was also mixed up with some real events I won't go into. 

A big problem with this was how compulsive it was. I certainly was not in a good enough place to pull myself together and go out and get a sexual partner. Nor the inclination. I worked and slept a lot of the time and had no idea why I could not function. 

Puzzle Piece #4

As I have mentioned before, I used to follow a guy called "David Wilcock" back in the day. However, even though this guy has done a true service to the world in promoting the Law of One. He is also a con artist and scams people out of money as documented in some detail by a man named Steven Cambian. 

There is a frustration here for me in that I take the work of James Randi, for instance, to be correct. There are some things that are legitimately supernatural. But there are many, many more claimed to be supernatural that aren't and I have been lamenting on various outputs that it is really "distressing" in a sense to not be able to get any actual evidence of the supernatural. I have looked a bit into healers and I find them inspiring. Rather like that fictional healer Sean Farrell in "The 4400". I feel that this is the best avenue to find this proof but, at the same time, I suppose, I realise that I have to rely on higher positive forces for this aspect of life. I.e. the actual proof.

Last few puzzle pieces.

Two other things. First is that I am worried that I may have problems with my eyes. I see a health specialist for this. I need to have an appointment soon. Another is that I have someone, a friend of the family, I have contacted again recently, where, before I lost contact in part due to her extraordinary flakiness. For "reasons" there is good reason for me to be in contact with this person. 

Putting it all together.

This whole puzzle piece style is how a lot of my material works. Especially my youtube channel. But I realise people might not have taken it in. 

So why the video? How does this link? Let's start here. In this video, the brunette was talking about something called 'German New Medicine'. Which sounds like a kind of Louise Hay but with the added education of evolutionary psychology and trauma expertise. Louise Hay has come up recently on twitter. This modality of looking at physical symptoms and such as a nudge to spiritual life was discussed in several channels of, I believe the same entity. But I'll only highlight one of these. The Law of One. 

It was also talking about having mega insights and I suppose this is my mega insight.

Any ideas on how these all link? We can see skepticism and Auric seeing. So there's a link. We can see eye medical problems and auric seeing. But I suppose beyond that it is not obvious. How does this 'flakey girl' fit in? Where does the hell dream fit in?

I have one more thing to mention before I put it together. In the transits at the moment. There are a few exacting points actually. But the one I am going to mention here is that the south node is in gate 18. This links to the gate 58 for those familiar with human design. I will come back to this. 

The story:

Let's start with "Flakey". As something that is factually going on in my life at the moment. Have you ever dealt with someone super flakey? It's like... I sent you a message and you did see it, and I will out passive aggressive you if you are going to expect to not have that acknowledged. I don't know if that will be how our conversations go but, that's the kind of feeling you get. 

It's strange. As I get less intense and obsessed with everything, per puzzle piece 3, I kind of value not getting annoyed about that kind of thing. But it is still an issue. 

Well, to start with, those dark feelings I got in puzzle piece 3 have linked me with flakey. Not that I have gotten fantasies about engaging with her like that. But, there is a link. Many stories have secondary characters not engaged in the action per sey, but perhaps adding to the perversity. All those stories are deleted now. Have been for a year or so. 

The hell dream though is where it all comes together really. Puzzle piece one is what happens when puzzle piece three is escalated to the point of entropy! This is how energy can be handled in the Law of One. Because those fantasies I mentioned. They are hell. At the normal level they are a bit perverse but those things always escalate. That's where they escalate to. They escalate to hell! This is how I stop them becoming an issue. I process that.

I believe having this darkness in me was what prevented me from auric seeing attractive girls! I have not seen one yet which I have been attracted to now I am experimenting with the ability again. But it's my suspicion. 

This is the link then. The darkness I talked about has been stimulated out of the 58.2. Up to the transiting south node where it has been dismissed to hell!

And what I think the eyes thing is about is that, it could be that a physical problem with the eyes is a result of suppressing the ability, to "not seeing" with the spirit. Followed by not seeing in the physical. 

The sick darkness has kind of been driven out by having been escalated to the point of entropy/ hell dream. Then with that lightness I am less bothered about "flakey". No guilt, less connection. And keeping my energy at a high level and seeing auras all the time becomes a valued strategy. 

The conclusion.

In the video, the blonde was talking about how, when we get an insight, we can start to feel pretty bad about not having had it sooner and I suppose I felt a little like that with this. But not really. My earlier life has been chaotic. But the fact that the 'answer' was there so much earlier is kind of annoying. 

But, a lot has changed. With the schizophrenic episode and related madness I have interpreted many years worth of dreams now which I have felt aided me in a mega positive way. I have been through enough to realise I have to pray regularly. I pray regularly now. I miss prayers here and there but I really value at least three prayer sessions a day and this is IMPORTANT for auric seeing. There is an incredible energy drain in auric seeing I can't really describe. 

I also, with all I have experienced, being harassed over eccentric political views and researching things like "narcissism" and "grey rock". Understand completely now it is preferable to keep secrets. I could see aura's every day and never tell anyone now, whereas my young self didn't have a sliver of that secretive tendency.

So that's my insight. I believe we will probably all be getting insights. Adding it with point #4 is that I suppose, I have wanted to find a healer or something that does supernatural things. But, the auric seeing was fairly accurate. Having this ability. I might not ever prove it in a scientific setting. But it will have SOME utility. Perhaps to increase my understanding of the human design. And if there were anyone that could prove psychic ability in a scientific setting. Well, why not me?