Writing Smut.

Root issues. 

I have talked recently about root energy issues in general.

I think about sex a bit. But not just in the way that all guys, and probably all people do. Like experiences I would like to have or whatever/ girls I want. But, I am not well, do not have money and really lack energy even if I did get a relationship, or so much as a female friendship. I am left with the drive but nowhere for it to go. 

The law of One vaguely advises on this. They say that if a person has a fantasy that is 'not consonant with the Law of One'. So, there are all sorts of unhealthy and unethical things we fantasize about. The best way to handle it is to play it out in the imagination. 

To me, I wondered for a while, if I could take that 'imagined' scenarios and put them in written form. Create another of what female writers in general like so much. A smut story. But a male one obviously. There are plenty of these stories on the internet already. 

This comes up in relation to my chart. I have the gate 58.2: A genius for perverse stimulation that afflicts oneself and others by promoting degeneracy and reducing joy to indulgence and decadence. 

Perspective.

I have often either wrote or wanted to write these stories. But I have often also, felt they were debased and wrong. Especially when I include real people in them. Like, people I know in the real world. So I have often ended up deleting them. But they are kind of good. I am able to write these stories.

Partly to push against this tendency I have tried my hand at writing normal stories. But just stories that are about mine and others ideal future. The trouble with these stories though. Is that they are no good. They are ridiculously cheesie in a way. It is like I am just suited to write the smut stories and do not enjoy writing normal stories. As though I just have more inclination and motivation. I get completely there would be more motivation to explore something carnal than something of any particular higher meaning. The carnal stuff comes first. 

The reason I have previously stopped with these stories is because they are debased, and because I have worried that writing them effects my real life negatively. Like, if I were to talk to someone my conception of them might be effected by these smut stories going through my mind. This is also in relation to metaphysical things that might be effecting things. In the New Age and Law of One those thought based effects on reality are considered very real. 

BUT, I realise this is not necessarily correct. Since, there is no physical effect of this reality. I have got no effect of positively getting on with any of these people, or people similar to them. From not doing those stories. 

When I am writing those stories and I attribute my lack of social success to potentially those stories. That is completely wrong. I just need to push on and not let the idea effect me.

Human Design:

Today, Venus is in gate 58.5 which I also have, and often correlates with ideas about writing these kinds of stories. It is not clear from the white book if this clarifies anything. But it is about whether or not someone succumbs to temptations. 

This doesn't mean I definitely will create these stories. Just that thinking through the various factors that impact it.