I went on twitter today, and have decided to not log onto twitter for a while. There were so many posts about recent Epstein file and related information, that I thought I'd take a break.
I need to go through a bit of personal history to explain how I see this recently. But it is under the paradigm (another word doesn't fit!) of attempting to follow the teachings of the Law of One. So because I think the Law of One is important, I am going to explain it best I can, even if it goes through boring territory.
When I was somewhere between 15 and 25. I first studied the Law of One. I did not apply much of it. I thought through a lot of things like trying to solve a puzzle and I suppose it did lead me to a whole lot more "service to others" things than I would otherwise have done. But I did not apply all of it. A lot of it I just kind of memorised and didn't really used. This is not an uncommon occurence, I don't think. With how people experience various insights and teachings.
One of the teachings I did not apply was the Law of One's perspective on 'transcient' information. I do not have an understanding of this teaching directly from the text. But, I have been slowly working through its relevance. Like, when I was still paying close attention to conspiracy information. When I would stop, I would have insights into my psychology and stuff. My normal process.
After my "schizophrenic break" at 27. I was not able to meditate and was disinclined from spirituality in a way I had not been before. In fact, I deliberately did bad stuff to suppress the madness within. Conspiracy was that.
During my kind of worship of David Wilcock, as I see it now. And my obsession with conspiracy theory. I also had a lot of anger towards leftists around me. I was an annoying schizophrenic truther. I did keep myself to myself a great deal. I still believed in the Free Will. But, I felt passionately about these things and wanted others to come around to my views. So I would discuss right wing politics and do things like read the Qur'an and talk to people about that. The Islam angle is a bigger part of conspiracy information in the UK.
It was at this point, where what is going on in the world at the moment would have been amazing to me. It would have been what I really wanted. I did not only want the truth to be revealed. But the people surrounding me to be forced to acknowledge it. So that I would not be the mad person that believes in QAnon, but would actually be right about these things and also, so that what would logically follow. Mass arrests and a golden age of humanity, would also follow.
On top of basic information I also had absorbed a great deal of Pizzagate type of stuff. The full horror aspect that I won't go into here. I thought that this horror being exposed to generally left wing centrist people that refused any of this was a kind of karma.
This is the main emotional point I wanted to bring up here. Since there are probably people freshly awakening that are experiencing this. And are pushing forward the Epstein information due to this. I was never able to get any official information to back up my perspective. It was a different time.
However, my life and my perspective changed. Bear in mind that I have been pretty much "awake" since I was 14. In investigating my medical condition, I realised they were not seriously trying to cure it.
Come COVID lockdown, and the energy of conspiracy was winding down. Friends and family wrote me angry letters and said they were not seeing me again due to right wing viewpoints. Or just ghosted me. But I discovered dream interpretation. Which was always the solution against the schizophrenic stuff. I was able to meditate again and started praying and such. My "Christian path" so to speak. Was maturing.
But as I have gone through all this. Years of looking at the conspiracy stuff in detail. Several elements are relevant. I have looked closely at it and having been interested in it, got to the point where it is less interesting. Things are more interesting when you first look at them. I have thought through the whole thing from a spiritual or philosophical perspective. Emotionally, it is hard to not try and incorporate a lot of very dark information into my world view. As an example, times when prayer has not worked for people.
Most recently though. Now that I am properly reading the Law of One, and properly meditating. My meditations are an experience all of their own. It allows me to truly not be interested in that conspiracy stuff. I have experienced it. I have looked at it in the past. I experience it as disturbing the positive state I am in when I meditate and such.
There is a deceptive belief I have observed. That somehow, by not looking at stuff, you are not honouring the victims or something like that. That they had to experience all that, and you are not even going to read about it.
But, that is not relevant. I always wanted to be able to genuinely, emotionally experience a lack of interest in transcient types of information. Now we are here, now it seems like things are starting to actually move. This is exactly what I am experiencing.
It would be an interesting twist of fate if everyone else starts getting interested in this now; and all I wanted to do was meditate and play music.
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