Thoughts on my design.

A post on various human design thoughts. 

Firstly, gate 33 is a big part of my chart. Two points on the conscious side. Gate 51.1 specifically is two points on the unconscious side and this comes up. Trying to remind myself this is all design based because it's manifestation is... a little disconcerting sometimes. 

I recall reading Ra Uru Hu saying something like the gate 33 is the abstract process and of note, at the end of an experience, the abstract process is at it's weakest. Only after that withdrawal of the gate 33 and reflection, does the abstract process start to gain strength again. 

I also have the gate 25.6. This means that the 51-25 channel, whole channel, is going from a first line to a sixth line and it is definitely a pattern of mine to attempt to find meaning in the most base experience. I also have gate 44.1 going to gate 26.4. 

With also the 21-45 both being ruthless sounding lines. Gate 21.2 which is something like 'hard action to oppose deliberate interference' and 45.4 in detriment something like 'The lack of spiritual expression on the material plane'.

Putting a lot of this together, also with my 11-56 and general tendency to pay attention to things like dream interpretation. It all leads to a kind of machiavellianism. Splenically defined and right minded means I really respond very quickly in the moment to things. The right minded doesn't lay out a plan and structure, it simply comes in with something that seems perfectly relevant to the moment, but that is kind of random. 

The 51-25 is quite gutteral and base. The initiation channel. The specific shock of the 51 often involves the insight that someone is not what they appeared to be. This sense of looking below the surface of things is like being followed by ghosts. Others want to believe a certain thing about a thing or person and the 51 is like 'No, that's not the case, because of x experience', and "normal people" are very willing to socially ostracise to avoid that information modifying the way they would prefer to perceive the world. 

I think interesting in the human design are those parts where people have a choice whether to hear someones channel and choose to reject it and ostracise the person instead. It's like, what is the difference between having the channel and people avoiding it and not having the channel? What is the energy difference?

Anyway, the whole chart put together like I said is incredibly machiavellian. It flies very much against the mainstream preference for a kind of lovey dovey - "enable-abusers-with-forgiveness-without-contrition" vibe. 

The entire energy stream starts out in the 44 which I have identified as kind of the 'anti forgiveness' hexagram. The 44 is ancestral memory which is retained for safety. So it is not going to say "Let's just let go of the fact that person is incredibly toxic - for group cohesion" - maybe the integration channel would do that. It's simply going to say "That person is a degenerate and I don't want them near me". 

I have also mentioned that I favour the teachings of one Stefan Molyneux. This, I think, comes partly from the gate 4.1 in my conscious Mars. This is Stefans reasoning process and it is so similar to mine that I like listening him to gain access to my own self. The fact of challenging what is assumed to be correct, what is stated as correct, perhaps for the same reason that links to the 51-25. But as with the defined G-self and Stefans incarnation cross, all 4 hexagrams being on the G-self. It also ends with moral discussion and reasoning the can really challenge others .Can really challenge things like passive aggression through moral reasoning. 

It eventually leads to this place where, due to a bunch of complex reasoning and spirituality, I have explained some deep psychological process but now I'm not going to see the person for a while. There is time for processing and withdrawal. The manifestor type means there isn't any particular "stickiness" to other people and the combination of moral reasoning as well leads to a kind of requirement on the part of the others person. Due to that normal sacral connection being missing, they need to independently take understandings in order to relate. All this is in there. The 51-25, maybe the 44-26, the 4.1, but then the 33 and other parts of the chart disconnect, and they have to DO something with that energy to remain in connection. 

In my life there have been many machiavellian movements. Such as having someone be passive aggressive, in a way that can't be immediately challenged, and feeling relief when their behaviour comes back to them in an extremely traumatising way. People ghosting and me not being happy with that or thinking its fair but... it is what it is. Moves like apologising for something, then saying I'd meet someone, only to have them ignore that and not meet. Then being able to call them on it six months to a year later. Like... I did everything required by the social ritual. It is yet again a long term process of drawing out subtle, unpleasant behaviour, that isn't easily challenged. 

Again and again these kinds of things happen and after them, all the pieces of the chess board have been set up. I have said the apology, I have my explanation of how I dealt with the person, I have given something of value, even if that is not acknowledged by the other. Everything is set up so the person can't deliver passive aggression without having to walk back their own amorality. 

There is one exception to most of this. One energy area and channel that delivers something else. Something different. That is the manifesting channel 21-45 which has as one of it's points the North Node. Ie. it isn't completely switched on until I've lived life.

Part of me fears that my position of low status will never change due to my health. Which has moments of improvement but is usually a grind. But a strict reading would say that what would be likely would be some material success coming from that. Some success of some sort of bringing that will power into the real world.

This would potentially change the game in quite a devastating way. All these people that have done crappy things and this long slow process of challenging that. Of challenging the passive aggression by bringing out, partly through coincidence, real moral principles as part of the discussion. 

People being able to treat me in a bad way due to the low status from- disability of all things. Then suddenly, after bad behaviour for years, find out that I am doing well in some way. Successful in some manner and them wanting to gain benefits from that but there being a struggle to make that a reality with all the subtle, deliberately unacknowledged crappy behaviour over years. I'll repeat as well, the reason this was gotten away with is due to disability. 

We'll see what happens. The process, this process that goes through the chart and tends to end with these periods of semi exhaustion so the abstract process starts a process of strengthening, is as exhausting as it sounds. But maybe, just maybe, the reasoning from spiritual sources has set up quite a chess board - and we are moving closer to a check mate!