Another post bouncing off a youtube video. This one is by a youtuber called 'Psychology with Dr Ana' and is titled 'Walter White, when narcissism lies dormant'.
https://youtu.be/MnXXglMXdoI?si=Cuh1wrRranMkgGk6
Inner wounds.
I have a little bit of a past wound in my life. The past wound was due to a behaviour within myself that I was not aware of at all before it happened, and it lead to, what might have been a positive behaviour that could have averted something negative. This is, that I underestimated the potential benefit a kind of 'female wisdom' can bring. There was someone in my life that needed the sensitivity of women, a sensitivity and ongoing focus on emotions that I explicitly DO NOT have, and I didn't think to alert the right people as to this situation.
In some small manner this relates to this video. This womans run down of Walters behaviour, if you have seen Breaking Bad (and there probably will be spoilers in my write up here) is... fantastic. Until I got to the very end of the video, I wasn't fully impressed, I was still trying to work out Walters behaviours. But on her conclusion I realised, that she is "right enough" for me to give this viewpoint serious consideration. Like, to assume it is basically correct for the moment.
What is going on with Walter?
There are still things that I am thinking of in relation to Walter though. Again, this will probably be more interesting if you have seen Breaking Bad.
Firstly, the great male need for status. It is something I am reflecting on now my medical condition is improving. Is it not the need for status that has basically built the entire society we live in? Men, who wanted a family, and a position of status in the community, will work all hours god sends doing very difficult work. Of course, when the left comes along and decides that the result of your labour has to be taxed then that stops. Or that the guy in question can't even be hired then it definitely stops. But, nonetheless, that is a separate tangent; men, in general, have a carnivorous, all consuming, and desperate desire for status, which, if not met, tends to become anger and bitterness.
In this manner, Walters behaviour early on in the series strikes me as though this is the mechanism at play. I think a lot of people would look at this need for status in a deeply feminised world we live in, and not recognise it as legitimate, but I think it is a legitimate drive.
There is also another element that I think is very relevant to Walters psychology. Walter, is a genius. He is very intelligent. The show made some priority in making sure this was known. He cooks a better product than any other drug dealer because he is smart and we see that in his past, his focus on chemistry and obsession with it, that only genius' really experience over such a seemingly dry subject, is a big part of his person and thus his psychology. We can see he was smarter than Gus' other chemist who was no slouch.
So we can see someone that is very intelligent indeed, who likely did contribute to a multi billion dollar company at an earlier point of his life, living a life where he teaches chemistry and what does he do with that intelligence? Well, he has become a mundane person, he works in a car wash, he teaches chemistry to students that are not interested in the subject. His intelligence likely goes around in his head and drives him mad, but it likely strongly contributes to his negative feeling and his deep, malign, anger.
That's what's eating him.
The way I see it, this is the poison that is eating him. His cancer arrives, he cooks meth, it recedes, he stops cooking meth and it comes back on the dot. The suppressed potential, the "something to do with my brain" is the thing that is eating him, and the expression of all that anger in his criminal life, that allows him to be effective is what relieves the monster in him. It's what feeds it and satisfies that dark urge. It is allowed to feed on the world, rather than feed on him.
Against that backdrop. There were a few decisions he makes that did not make sense or that might be labelled as narcissistic and are status linked, but they make sense to me and are, in fact, quite satisfying. (I really liked him being nasty to Gretchen, perhaps that's a bit cruel of me!)
We see that he rejected his ex business partners offer of assistance, of being given a job with health coverage. We see nothing in the show that indicates this was a status game or that it was anything other than kindness on the part of his ex business partners. They are rich and - good people. Something not always shown on the big screen. Very sheltered and naive.
I think his business partners offer that showed Walter appropriate respect for his intelligence, was a good one.
Nevertheless, Walter probably did not want to experience himself in a subordinate position since he is a genius. Even though this is destructive and illogical, and generally rejecting the, probably legitimate "love" of his friends, I understand that. He wanted to be a player in the difficult, dangerous, drug empire he was engaging in, that few others would be able to thrive in. He wanted to outsmart his brother in law amongst pretty much everyone else. .
Computer trouble.
This will be the end of this article. There are more thoughts on his general psychology that might go in a part 2. But I have had computer trouble. It is fixed now but it massively broke my concentration and I can't go back to writing this article so it stops here.
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