Irredeemable malaise.

I can't quite get my mind out of the dump. I can't quite rescue myself from an apparently irredeemable malaise at the moment.

I'm talking about that here because, as a theme, it's a good jumping off place because as I discuss tools that might improve things or what might be happening, if others are interested they can apply it to their lives. 

Consistency.

I had the idea today to go back to main astrology a little bit. To go into the retrogrades and oppositions and such to try and bring out some pattern as to the current situation.

I used to be so into astrology and it is silly, now thinking of it, that I have now started to neglect that part of myself. Even though medical improvements and more advanced astrology has changed my perspective on these things. There is still something good about mainstream astrology. 

I wonder a little if everyone else is feeling the same sense of drudgery that I am. It's not just a sense of drudgery but, two things at the same time. One is a greater sense of connection. The other is a lack of connection in a different way. In that I feel I am becoming more connected to myself, my body, more grounded. But I feel also that some mystical positive "higher" thing, is suddenly less accessible.

Things went pretty crazy almost precisely on the Mercury retrograde. It is the first time I have had a Mercury retrograde and the manifestation is outwardly positive that I can remember. Previously, with eerie accuracy. Job and career based things that go wrong have happened on Mercury retrograde. Either I have got a bad job that didn't go well on the retrograde, Mercury retrogrades veil going over the interview process. Or, my employment has ended in some way related to said Mercury retrograde. It also tends to correlate with political machinations that are a bit depressing and I suppose this time is no exception. 

This time though the job stuff, although a bit grinding, is quite possibly positive. We'll see how it goes though.

Another issue is that, someone I believed in a great deal for about two decades, David Wilcock, whom I have talked about on my youtube channel, has turned out to be a really nasty person. I have mentioned David before in relation to transiting Saturn going over his Sun and a few other things in Pisces. Transiting Venus soon to oppose transiting Saturn might be expressive of this especially in relation to how Davids female following will handle the most recent news about David.

On top of that is health unpredictabilities that are a side effect of having increased my exercise. (Mercury inconjunct Neptune?) It is hard to manage with my condition although should be fine over the longer term. Also, fell out with my sister. Which wasn't particularly pleasant. 

I expect the sister thing is likely in relation to transiting Uranus and things transiting that (since I identified a Uranian area of discussion to be relevant in said conversation!). But, on a more basic level such a deep and personal thing will be many things, there are like, central moral points so it goes a bit deeper than transits perhaps. 

The world changing.

The thing that I have seen a lot of on twitter recently is discussion of conspiracy types of things. With the crackdown in England it excites and angers people in that direction. Not just discussion on immigration though but also, discussion on things like coming health crisis, and the ongoing results of previous ones.

The central frustration of the larger supernatural world not manifesting is still present. But also, the sure and certain knowledge that after some medical mishaps in the future are revealed it's going to be such a huge thing that the world will have to permanently change, and that is when I expect real world information on supernatural things to come forward. 

With that awareness though, especially when shown the true destructiveness of this. It makes me realise how a lot of people will not be able to confront this and I have had moments of real stress in relation to this. Like moments of "why can't the next few years be just a bit quieter?"

Anyway, that's all I am thinking at the moment.