Follow up.

I haven't contacted the guy I outlined in the last post.

I don't know precisely why. I feel these things are predicated on metaphysical things that are not always under my control. It changed after a dream. And the higher self is capable of removing a person from a situation if that person is in danger. I suspect that is what happened.

I am not making him responsible for the 'suicide' thing though.

I feel that a strange kind of internal suffering is overwhelming me a bit. Sometimes I figure some powerful truth out and then, because I am constrained by circumstance, feel the pain of my soul being alive with the truth, and the knowledge that the karmic rules I am observing are being twisted against me.

This happened last Thursday. I was thinking about why I always relate to 'organisation' (such as charities etc.) In a certain way, felt through with my mind and energies to my HDC. Then looked and felt how it was blocked that brought me back to the original situation. Then knowledge of being unable to unblock it and how every second of blockage there is STS. (Definition of 'karma' and how it repeats in session 34, actions once taken will inevitably repeat.)

I will not take my life, but mercifully my life on this planet will not be overly long. It could all get sorted out in some way or another. That does not change where I am right at this moment.

Of course, if Corey's perspective was valid, I should just be able to forgive and move on. If I were to forgive these people I would immediately have to communicate the truth to them and I would be shut down. My attempt at STO polarity would be further twisted into STS polarity. This is what is meant by if you are in an environment of negative polarity you cannot polarise positively. The 'other self' is a valid concern in the positive polarity. You can't just release it all on your own IMO.

I am not sure I can hold myself though against the tide of not being able to properly polarise. I may throw myself in and risk being sent to a psyche unit.

I wonder if the forces standing against me will ever be repaid properly for their behaviour.