I should probably say something positive about this girl that I've been talking about. Just for continuity among readers. I do not think I will be attacked for this blog from her while I am not saying anything potentially threatening, however, expressing positive feelings is more of a risk than saying things like 'I chose not to contact her' even if I do finish that sentence with something as dramatic as 'and now I'm going to die'.
This whole thing has been from a magnet inside and a feeling of positive entities being connected up inside me when I am thinking/ feeling/ intending to contact her. Intuitively I do not think I will see her again because I think I will not be long for this world. I think if I stayed alive another 30 years with all that's going to happen I would have to. But life has it's own timing.
Anyway, honesty is one of the things I got from a brief conversation with her, a certain cuteness and deep emotion that is hidden most of the time and reveals itself. A vulnerability. Just a normal attachment that I get with few other people. Potentially as an energy (this I CAN sense quite accurately I believe, ironic right) there is something compatible on the spiritual level. I'm trying to describe the precise energetic mechanism and cannot therefore will have to leave that as something any guy would say. Intuitively I see red in her energy field and a mixture of black and green in mine... ?
Anyway, likely never going to see her again. So it's a nice memory!
Don't really like revealing these sorts of feelings when there is no reason to!