Recently, there have been about five different articles in my head. Perhaps even more. I have been thinking about human design, the Law of One, conspiracy, and social issues. There is a potential blog on each of those and different angles on the specific information.
There is one thing that is more central to my current experience though. One thing that ties it all together a little more than any of those subject.
I suppose this will potentially go into the human design. But the subject of this blog is Semen Retention. That is, there are a lot of guys out there that believe holding your seed is of massive benefit. Even though there are science videos on this. A lot of it is done from guys that believe it from having experienced it. The guys do all have the intense aura you would imagine.
For me, I don't want it to be quite as central. As I was talking about recently with a post on the Matrix of the Mind. I think sometimes focusing on life but noticing these things on the side of it to improve it can be the best attitude to have on these things.
But anyway, it is always something I have generally wanted to do, and I have failed at it a lot. One of the big things I have discovered is that all the nannying, morally highgrounding, annoying, mostly female Christians are... right about this issue. In that because porn was banned by the UK government. Practically, by asking for age verification. I stopped going on the kind of smut that I used to like. My particular kink which I usually indulged in more with reddit posts than from videos per sey.
Coming off it though, not going on reddit stories and thus obsessing over the fetishtic ideas therein. Has improved my life. It was kind of like stage one. I had one remaining stage though in that the impulse to "release". The second stage was that I used to get ideas that were partly informed by said reddit posts, of various degenerate stuff. So, the last idea I had was me and a woman handcuffed together. What comes from that could be completely consentual, or not for some reason, going any which way.
But I realised, and I don't know why this took so long. That the best thing to do with these ideas is to just forget them. While I used to fantasize for various reasons (including an ineffective cerebral revenge on women that have wronged me in some way, by casting them as disgusting amoral skanks), while I valued those ideas to an extent. I realise they don't serve me and so I just let them go. I just forget these ideas and don't build on them when I get them now.
Another aspect of this that I looked into. According to the video I watched by Rena Malik on youtube. A urologist. Once every five days is the best amount for a guy. So it was once every five days reliably for a while.
But then, now I no longer have such issues with "imaginings" I have just stopped. Currently on 9 days. It doesn't sound like a lot, but it is to me. Also, for the reasons summarised, because of the insight not to follow up on the degenerate ideas in a fictional sense, as I have done previously. I am confident I will have far more success in refraining. Like, even if I released today, I would be back to 9 days in 9 days.
The Law of One, such as the Session and Answer highlighted in the previous blog entry, talks about energies in a way that confirms that they are very real. That energy work, energies such as chakras. Is the reality. Someone taking the Law of One on faith believes this.
Most of the guys talking about this echo this as well. They say that the effects they get from this, one of which is more interest from women. Often feel like they could only have a supernatural explanation.
The effect that I have noticed thus far. One that I have not noticed... increased energy. I do not have increased energy at the moment. But what I have noticed is an undefineable sense of peace or confidence. A sense that I have more of a grip on my own emotions. More perspective. I don't have any noticeable change in my relationship with women because there are no romantic interests or female friends that I have in my life.
But I have gotten a lot of insights into women in general. My relationships with them. Quite powerful things it feels like. I have very often felt a kind of pained desire to be included in womens sweetness in a casual social way. After being excluded in various office jobs. But that has suddenly shifted in perspective a bit. I was out the other day walking the dog. Young women are exclusively the group that do not say afternoon or anything when you meet them. Older women or guys are polite.
My perspective was definitely shifted. Partly by drawing together my actual memories of women and how unimpressive they often are in real life. Like, boring in a sense. The desire to be involved with them socially, and that sweetness, perhaps comes from a partly sexual place, and as the sexual desire runs down, or becomes other than outward facing, I felt my perspective change.
It feels like a lot of things that were 'projected' outside of myself. The idea of what women can bring me, has been slowly taken away. Slowly, the power of those things outside myself, has started to wane.
It changed in relation to other people as well. I noticed with someone from my past that I could separate their "cute femaleness", from the person themselves.
It is an interesting experiment and I will see what kind of results it provides. Ideally, it would be interesting if the retained energy has a "healing" effect on me. But we will see how it goes.
I am also slightly less interested in blogging. A lot of the ideas that I did use to talk about have become a bit less interesting as my focus has shifted a bit lower. To completing general small tasks and such like that.
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