We all have our temptations.

Chocolate.

This will be a short blog. 

But, there have been times in my life where chocolate was causing severe problems. I have had to stay off all caffeine. Or I have had bouts of insomnia or other stomach issues that were very potentially to do with chocolate. 

At the moment, possibly because my health is OK, I don't have any of those problems but I have been eating chocolate daily. 

There is no TECHNICAL reason for me to not eat chocolate at the moment. I know where the deals are on chocolate. So money is not the issue. I am sleeping fine while eating it. But there is some small correlation to just not functioning so well in some way that is difficult to describe.

I don't have any passion for music. I loved it when I did it the day before yesterday, but the passion to practice is not there. I don't have passion to meditate. I have not been praying for about five days or longer and THAT one is really a bit of a mystery to me.

I mentioned before that chocolate seems to prevent what in human design terms is called a "rest cycle". Maybe that's it. Maybe the chocolate is just preventing me from crashing to the extent that I would then get an energy raise.

It's annoying though. It's a nice thing to eat. The side effects if there are any are so subtle as to almost not be noticed. I won't be having chocolate today though, and I'll see how it goes! 

Nothing moves.

Damn, it was hard to get myself to blog. There is not an identifiable reason I should be blogging. It's not really a responsibility. But nonetheless. There was a battle within me between the side that wants to blog and the side that resisted it. 

My life often seems to come back to explaining human design insights and stuff. Like, all else is an energy investment without return, like jobseeking. But I feel I am getting something from human design like thoughts.When I do blogs and youtube videos. When I express that kind of teaching, it does improve some part of me in a way that makes me more proactive.

Anyway, only loosely related to what I wanted to talk about. My thoughts follow watching this video:

https://youtu.be/4Lh5zgkK8gE?si=JR5WZxAl3cNmp8ZZ

The first two are not so relevant but the third point is what I thought was interesting. The difficulty of dealing with women that consider themselves higher status than you, and hence don't respond to messages and things. Or give the bare minimum.

It is not exclusively the problem though. I would say, for someone like me with an invisible disability, the general problem is status in general.

Status. 

Thinking of ex friends and family and stuff. Divorced guys working 60 hours. Stoners and other crazies. I don't think anyone in the world is really doing a lot better. My problem is not due to personal decision. I did not smoke a ton of weed (I'm actually allergic to weed!). I do not engage in parasitical things that would earn me the title "narcissist". I did not give up my life for a messed up relationship. I'm not an atheist with no further ethics. It's not due to some other involuntary factors like bad parents. Or falling on the wrong side of the current economy.

Mine is due to the disability. If I did not have the disability I would probably take off. My IQ is tested as quite high at Mensa. My work ethic is high. I really love things like the gym and such that my disability prevents to a large extent. If the disability was removed then one of the effects is that a lot of the losers I have interacted with would be far more upset and jealous about that. (Assuming there was no additional problem in that space such as divorce!) 

So perhaps on some grand level that is relevant. That other people with say, bad families would feel it was unfair if I succeeded and the disability balances that. 

But damn it is annoying. The video's third point references women that when you contact them make no effort. There are also guys whom have equivalent mechanisms of disrespect that manifest in different ways. 

I imagine to myself, based on a Law of One quote that said that they would be moving on with the beings currently attempting to harvest on this planet. That we will all have our lives again in a similar world. 

Second Earth.

This is what I imagine some of our lives are geared towards. Not doing anything in this life but laying the ground. Setting the right emotions for another life. Where a friend of mine might have socially excluded me and have that come back on them in unpredictable karmic ways. They live with that for like a decade and when it comes around on another life on another earth that does not happen. Or it happens and there is a more quick and productive karmic response. 

But at the moment, the world is just so unbelievably stuck and locked down with reference to the negative. Which is largely kept in place by peoples general stubbornness and need to be right. There is going to be very little movement forward in any practical way. Until people that have hated on 'conspiracy theorists' are 'broken', so to speak, and then able to feel different emotions and explore different sensations. So it is just a waiting game. 

Q - drama

World War 3 as mentioned in a post a few back, is not happening, and that is good. Another thing that did happen though was the arrest of P.Diddy. Boasting an apparent 15 years of video tapes of celebrities and including such things as kidnapping. Serious stuff. 

The US election voting has begun and in about six weeks votes will be cast for the election itself. Things are HAPPENING. 

Also, what is the other option? Apart from the potential movement forward in a kind of tin foil hat direction. What other option is there for us to move forward?

The job market is absolutely terrible. The US market is so bad it is putting pressure on the Yen Carry Trade. I see evidence of that every day. Inflation has taken over. Political conflict with the worlds gas supplier/ Russia, has increased costs. Lockdown was terrible and DEI and such is keeping the world from growth.

People treating me as low status, because that's what I am, would not change much if I got the kind of jobs I would be likely to get. I might not even get them in a healthy economy because being unskilled after your 20's is not a good thing. 

But regardless. It seems to me with the economy like it is, the only opportunity for improvement any of us have is if there is this grand movement forward. The Q mythology. The mass arrests. It just doesn't seem likely, like, PRACTICALLY likely, that there is any other route forward. The economy is destroyed. The deep state is so in control at the moment they won't allow any progress or growth. If you say something political that starts to move TOWARDS sorting something out. So critical of immigration say. The government will literally LOCK YOU UP. 

Conclusion.

I suppose in this hypothetical, if the tinfoil hat prophecy did come true. If we did go through an amazing shift (Which is not forecast by the human design in my opinion for before February 2025!) then I suppose the status differentials would immediately correct. Or perhaps swing in the other direction a little bit. Towards the conspiracy theorists who were previously low status. 

I mentioned women that don't really see men as worth anything from the video. It is these women that would go through unbelievable change if the world were to change in this way. In a world where a lot of the low status men they previously condescended to shot up in status. Wow, that sounds like a very uncomfortable reality!

Personal pyramids.

Big moment for me. The kind of thing that matters to me but that no one in the outside world would think is interesting. 

My 'spiritual base', the Law of One. Talks in some depth about the positivity of the pyramid. A small pyramid was actually used by the group in order to improve Carla's physical health. 

Obviously, being someone that pays attention to this material. I actually got myself a pyramid a few years ago. More than a decade now. In fact, I think I got it BEFORE I found the Law of One. Perhaps even two decades. 

The other day though, I used it and my body became "fried". It did not have a positive effect. I realise now two important things. A) That the kind of pyramid I had was probably made by a hack. It did not have a sharp point at the top, but a kind of small bubble where the plastic hadn't set into a point. I have no idea what is inside it but it was heavy and I remember the woman talking about strange things she wanted to put inside her pyramids B) After some stressful events, I actually got the pyramid out and left it out permanently. I suspect it did permanently raise my energy in some way.

But after my feet started to hurt from being "fried", I threw it out.

It feels like this is quite a change. It seems to me likely that if I had a pyramid that didn't have a point at the top, that the energy it was emitting was probably not a good energy. 

I was tempted to go and get it out the bin this morning, the bin out in the street. But I searched for pyramids on Amazon and I can get another Organite one for less than £10.

The most immediate change I can feel is a huge despair. But despair, I think, IS a potentially constructive emotion. One of the troubles I have, that has been gotten rid of to a huge extent but is still a little bit of an issue, is that I don't tend to register negative feedback. So when people ignore me on youtube or something, I carry on commenting on youtube. When people ignore me on a forum I still want to contribute. 

But despair opposes that. I am thinking about the pyramids in general. About the entire narrative of the Law of One. Question 56.3. Which is a long question, so I have cut Ra's response down to about 20% of what they said:

Questioner: In that case, I will ask how does the pyramid shape work?  

Ra: I am Ra. We are assuming that you wish to know the principle of the shapes, angles, and intersections of the pyramid at what you call Giza.

In reality, the pyramid shape does no work. It does not work. It is an arrangement for the centralization as well as the diffraction of the spiraling upward light energy as it is being used by the mind/body/spirit complex.

...

It is to be noted that these shapes are dangerous. We are quite pleased to have the opportunity to enlarge upon the subject of shapes such as the pyramid for we wish, as part of our honor/duty, to state that there are many wrong uses for these curved shapes; for with improper placement, improper intentions, or lack of the crystallized being functioning as channel for healing, the sensitive entity will be distorted more rather than less in some cases.

The perspective here I think is hinted at. I might be wrong. Is that peoples own path is more important. I am not an energy healer. I have determined that. Perhaps it would be worth getting a proper pyramid, but I certainly don't want to end up "in a more distorted place than I started". I feel like it will take many more days to feel the effects of no longer having said pyramid.

What is the effect of this energy really? I tend to think that the way we are made out, we have an innate way in which we improve ourselves. So for me, meditation, music and such. Perhaps some things I have not yet used or discovered. 

Could it be that if you have a pyramid nearby it raises your energy. But if you were to not have said pyramid nearby then you would seek to raise your energy and might do it in a way that is more beneficial? That you are more able to positively use and build on and that doesn't have side effects? Assuming the pyramid did have side effects. 

I'm hoping this will be a profoundly positive change for precisely that reason. That negative emotion of deflation will mean I don't expend my energy into the black hole of a lot of peoples indifference and narcissism. That I investigate teachings that are not good for me a whole lot less. That any way that I find to raise my own energy is reliably positive for me. 

But who knows? These are just some thoughts really!

World War 3.

This is the video I will be talking about today:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Uh73-iyYuY

With additional reference to this article:

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cr75r70jgp7o

At the moment I sit here, trying to push out an energy that is difficult to push out. I recall years ago I had a strange precognitive feeling about war and how it might impact my life. Just a passing sensation though. 

It is hard. It is a "push". In becoming a less stressed more domestic kind of person I have adapted to that and my priority really is my health. But, the previous experience in this area is slightly useful now, and I want to talk about this general area a bit. Not in the style that a mainstream discussion would be had, because I am not a very mainstream person. But just to discuss in general.

The global sociology.

I have been working something over in my head for a while. I have noticed, my own guidance has realised to be very careful of the questions we ask ourselves. Not that being careful would change anything. But, questions that we take on can kind of sink into our subconscious and continue to be asked. If there is no answer to said question this is quite unproductive. 

Anyway, the question I have kind of been asking is what is the point of our entire society. Like, the Law of One, which is a text I refer to and have a great love for, talked about the difficulties that the higher positive forces have with managing a population. 

I tend to think the things we experience in our society do have a grand agenda. Do have a 'gods plan', so to speak. The other day I was listening to a Stefan Molyneux livestream where he talked about the naivety and affection a lot of men have for women in general, being broken by examples of womens comfort with abortion. Definitely something moral, important, and something that would likely have been missed had our society moved over to more 'supernatural' concerns before now. 

I think what is the reason everything has to stay so mundane all the time?

Another thing I think is, what is the reason, from the higher positive perspective, of dating and relationships being so dysfunctional at the moment? A LOT of people have just given up. A lot of singles events are not being attended by men. The birth rate is down. Marriage is very low and according to oft repeated statistics only about 1/1000 are willing to get married. The red pill is only growing. 

The amazing stuckness of everything.

I hope to spend some time on this.

But it is relevant to me that there is an amazing "stuckness" to everything. Normally when this kind of thing happens, there is a war! Like the great depression leading onto World War 2. War gets over that stuckness. Priorities change. Priorities that become, in times of peace, very, very, stagnant, as we are now experiencing. 

The general human motivations of corruption, nepotism and anti meritocratic forces in general are unbelievably powerful it seems. 

And that's where we are now. Not only in economic terms. But in personal terms. 

It seems to me that a lot of humans reach a certain plateau and decide they are "right" about the way they are living even if outer circumstances would argue the contrary, and just chow down. This might be the case with pretty much everyone that took the vaccine. It is the case with discussions on religion and politics. It is just this AMAZING manifestion of "stuckness". 

The job market is probably worse than it has ever been, after COVID. No one is going to be working hard and getting themselves out of a rut in this economy. Family's have been separated and there is no will on the behalf of those that can be proven wrong (i.e. the left wing and the vaccinated) to move forward, to negotiate. Those that were strongly anti vaccine have been separated from friends that still won't deal with them. The government is going around and arresting people, and generally interfering with the right to assemble so the non vaccinated can't generally get together and be productive. 

I am in a very stuck place and I am sure I am not the exception. My health has only just improved. It is VERY unlikely I will get a job. Not only are jobs not there for normal people but with bad health, I am someone that is lower down on the totem poll for people that would be hired. Disabled, and older than I should be for going for the kind of jobs I will be going for.

I can't relate to my previous friends, or, sometimes, family. Being politically active with leftists isn't a good thing to them. They talk about diversity as long as it isn't diversity they don't agree with. Then they're pretty much openly prejudiced far worse than right wing are to the left (this has been statistically proven). Of those I do still communicate, they are generally just not motivated. They are not hostile but they are not particularly positive either.

I can't relate to new people. 

I will survive. It will be fine I am an intellectually active person that can fill my own time. But, if you add it to everything else. It makes someone realise. It is not just me, but EVERY SINGLE ELEMENT OF SOCIETY is "stuck".

Breakout.

So what we have here is the manifestation of stuckness, in a lot of ways this manifests as refusal to compromise when someone knows they are in the wrong. If there is no consequence to not compromising, then I suppose that is natural. 

This though, is NOT what the transits say. I have said before that I believe Neptune in the gate 25 is about the alleviation of that conflict between the different political viewpoints. Neptune dissolves boundaries. The open expression of reality in gate 25 is where these political issues are expressed. Since Neptune has been retrograding there has been revealing of political influences among youtubers on both sides. Democrats and what is called 'Russia'. That I don't know whether I believe.

So how does that happen? Neptune will go back into the gate 36 October 1st, where I am expecting some revealing of economic instability that will effect us all. But it will go direct again. With Neptune in the gate 25, this transit to me is saying that there will be some reason that political divides are broken down. But NOTHING in the world is showing me that.

Except this. If there was a war... That would probably do it. If there were a war and the job market changed. "Cybersecurity" is suddenly finding mass employment as an example. Things might start to move again. 

Punishment.

There is another element of this as well. That is that there are a lot of people in this world that just won't look at anything they don't particularly like. Have you tried mentioning vaccination to someone that was a true believer? Now they are on the back foot they just won't talk about it. It is off the table for discussion. 

Women in general, some men, but largely women; are unbelievably destructive in their political beliefs. Of the things they support out there in the world. Some women, to be frank, need some KARMA. They are giddy happy about aborting their own children in the womb, so they don't have any compassion there. What do they save that compassion for? Criminals coming over the border of course. 

The point is, part of the reason we are in the situation we are is because of these socially acceptable people that are mostly made up by women. Women vote left, so they voted in the tyrannical government the UK now experiences and, then, they just don't pay attention to things like the government locking people up for facebook posts.

This cannot continue. It is natural and OK sometimes. Not everyone has to be involved in politics. Not everyone has in depth opinions on these things. Some people are more into creating a warm, comforting home and nurturing. At a low level some of these behaviour are great. But at a certain level. That kind of deliberate ignorance is... NOT OK. 

How determined were some of these women that we should punish Russia when the Ukraine- Russia war reached the spotlight? How destructive are their political persuasions as a whole, as they did nothing, while the feminists changed the law system in the Western world to lynch men? 

There comes a point where that tendency to just ignore everything, while supporting the destructive mainstream narrative, will have consequences. The day that Russia declares war on one or more Western nations will likely be that day. 

Schaudenfraude

I used to be a David Wilcock follower. A Q tard before Q came on the scene. I used to try and tell everyone I knew that the Illuminati would one day be arrested, that there was an alliance that was working against the "Deep State". I received nothing but pushback. I always had this fantasy that when something like that did happen. All the 'friends' and such that had ignored me would not have me around. That I would have withdrawn. Just be gone. 

I suppose that has kind of happened. I don't pay attention to politics anymore, it was hard to get back into this, and part of the reason I am doing this blog is to outlet this energy. I won't mention the Russia- Ukraine war to anyone I know. I will stay dead quiet. If something does kick off. They will find out when it is thrown all over the mainstream news. They will be shocked. I could have warned them ahead of time. I chose not to. Perhaps I still don't say much. 

We'll see what happens but this is just some thoughts on it. Personally, it seems likely to me that this current 'stuckness' we are in that I have described has to be broken somehow. I can't imagine that will be a positive shock whatever it is. I don't imagine we are going to experience first public contact with a positive alien group. Or have some new innovation which improves the worlds economies. Global tensions have to be resolved somehow. 

It might be an economic crash or a war. But I think it will be some sudden shift. 

If we could have a purely positive shock would we want that? The point is, that if some of the people that took the vaccine are never confronted with overwhelming force to admit they are wrong. They will never do that. And there is something unsatisfying about that.

The 51st Journey.

I have been having a few interesting experiences lately.

The gate 51 is an interesting one in the human design. It is the sun point of the actor for the Breaking Bad character 'Hank Shraeder'. Who had experiences in the series that I think are typical of this gate.

I would like to do a video with a few points on Breaking Bad characters but have not gotten around to it.

The character experiences quite a few moments, it is a repeated theme. Where, shock itself comes along quite a bit, but the shock, leads in the 'detective' like direction of realising people around him are not whom he thinks they are. Realising people that he has had long drinking sessions with were hiding unbelievable secrets, essentially big enough to be different people. 

I think this is a big part of what the 51 is. Having the sudden realisation that people are not what you thought they were. I have it in two places in my human design. One is the design Venus. This means that no matter what these experiences will be in my life quite a lot and, as I have said before, I can't shortcut that process. It is illogical to go into a situation thinking that, knowing that, you will at a future point receive a shock about someone. To just assume people are lying about themselves in some important way. 

Then, once I have had these experiences, and have gained this wisdom. Obviously I will be able to articulate a reality that others are not ready to face. Meaning that as the shock is given to me it is also given to others. 

It's all very tiring. But, I think it is important to try and love the process as much as possible. Since, we don't have a choice about said process. Only if we are going to enjoy or hate being taken on said journey!

Psychological insights part 1.

My thoughts this morning. This is the result of the psychology work I am doing on myself. This is very good because for years I had none of these insights despite being interested in the area. This was because physiologically I was often in fight or flight and generally too dysfunctional for them to come. 

But anyway, I woke up this morning and a little while in had one of the most profound insights. I felt kind of 'active' in the morning and pulled up a youtube playlist on my phone called 'smut'. Things like Tik Tok girls, girls scantily clad doing tasks like operating gadgets and giggling, and those "would you employ this secretary?" kind of videos. 

While I was watching one of the posts. A blonde standing infront of the camera with large breasts pushing them from side to side with her body. I had this realisation that... this girl would have nothing to do with me. I know the kind of guys she would have something to do with. Tall, muscular, well employed, with really smooth social ability, and willing to make personal sacrifices to get laid.

Not a profound point probably to a lot of guys but one, because of reasons I'll go into perhaps, has not actually been one that has occured to me previously. 

When I was younger, very young, like almost some of my formative memories. I can recall my mother saying to me frequently that I was so good looking that I would have all the girls after me. This was not just her saying it I have had attention from girls. But I have a disability, am unemployed, have little money and no social skills to speak of. I do think I am intelligent and interesting but, the general ability gained from experience of socialising with women and being a bit more normal is not there. 

I think for this reason it has never occured to me that I might be rejected and this probably comes off in my body language and such a bit with women. But what experience do I actually have with women? Have I been rejected?

I do have some experience with women and those that have clearly indicated interest willing to go all the way. But I have also been rejected a lot. I have asked out girls over voicemail. Not every girl that flirts would have been into me had I tried to follow up, some of them would have just been looking for attention themselves. 

This changes my lust a bit which I have been struggling to get a hook into. Struggling to get insight into. Living with such an ongoing but unproductive sensation does not sit well with me (especially as these vastly increase due to increased physical health). I used to want to write erotic stories to at least enjoy the sensation a bit, but there were various problems with that. One of many is that the story would tend to dissolve once I got to a point where I instinctively felt something was unrealistic. I was trying to fashion a realistic story about fetishtic behaviour that people probably wouldn't do in real life. (I remember one story where I was in a relationship with a girl that got to the point where she was motivated to do degenerate things, but then she snapped out of it, thought "what the hell am I doing?" and filed for divorce!)

But this is an insight that goes the other way. Not towards increasing, and finding a good manifestation of that sexual energy, but one that goes towards the other area. A reason to not find certain girls attractive and perhaps, to in general relate to the entire area in a more realistic way. Of being aware of some of the undercurrents. 

I have written before, but I can't remember where, on people that ignored me on youtube comments and how rude I thought it was. Now I've just started thinking perhaps this was some of the reason. I recall, by name, each woman in the human design where I wrote a comment and they didn't respond despite having very little other responses. That's didn't respond even once not that they responded to one and did not afterward. 

So perhaps there is a sexual element to this? Perhaps the girls are trying to say you are sexually rejected because they assume I am into them? They would not be the first women to assume that absolutely any attention going to them from a male was sexual. 

Anyway, considering these rejections. This is likely a very positive look into the area for me. If I were to go on the Tik Tok girls now I might think which would or would not accept me and that number is probably close to zero which strongly motivates me to not give them any attention or 'love'. What I can focus on when understanding women is what are my actual experiences with them. Not that I had an opportunity to relate to x woman, because there are a lot of incorrect impressions that can be created. But what are my actual experiences with them.