Wednesday 11 February 2015

The immediate future.

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For the immediate future, I am beaten when it comes to girls.
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I experience the same pattern again and again and again and it's making me miserable. There is very good chemistry between me and a girl, then I don't honour it somehow, like for instance, my song that I had written for open mic today has just deleted itself so I can't go to an open mic.
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Pretty immediately, the backlash is that the girl treats me badly in some way, or sleeps with someone or just something generally nasty.
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I can't take this anymore. I have to withdraw. It's enough to make me so unbelievably miserable how predictable this pattern is.  The insane anger at the times I have been put through this, how repetitive this is.
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I also am not going to compromise. I'm not going to experience a relationship with a girl I'm not really into, with one whom the 'magnet' is not present. I'd just rather suffer. I'll accept the suffering.

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