Life is different, there are things I enjoy and don't enjoy in life itself. Mostly though I feel blocked, unable to move towards the things I really like and would make my life meaningful in a life purpose kind of way. But also powerless to move against those that have made things bad for me in a not so positive sense of the word. Powerless to bring about a sense of justice. This makes the whole exercise seem kind of futile.
I had intended to say what a surprise it is that I miss working, or that I feel non productive when not working, but that is not quite true, I'm definitely in a no mans land at the moment and if I was well I wouldn't mind going to work, and I don't mind not being at work.
I've been thinking about the psychology of paedophiles. Very often when we try to understand the negative elite we imagine them to hold one emotion and to manipulate others who hold another emotion.
But I don't know about that. In order for these people to give a feeling to others, they must hold that feeling. The psychology behind 'safe spaces' and the very 'Brave New World' reality. I have seen paedophile commenters on pizzagate like material, saying that paedophilia is 'just a sexual preference' and generally seeming to consider themselves as a kind of 'beautiful' and misunderstood being. Rather like the people that Salon describes. A definition might be 'uber liberals'.
This is a long way from how John Podesta seems to think of himself when he has a torture chamber in his house, but these people are messed up. Sociopaths have a complete inability for any self perception. They are unable to perceive themselves or that there is anything wrong with them. Although paradoxically they go to great lengths to hide the fact they are so unlike others.
I wonder if all these people are 'uber liberals' and see themselves as these sacred special snowflakes. While at the same time brutalising children and sending orders to have people killed. Rather like liberals that want to shut down free speech (force) at the same time as foisting homosexuality and transgender on children. So considering these types of paedophiles hold up this emotion, of their affection for children, like some sort of special magical cape.
When someone like David Seaman comes along and calls them 'complete fucking psychos' they get angry! It's like a more intense version of crushing liberals ideas.
Think I'm done with Gab. Gab and social media in general are an extension of this strange broken up inability for anyone to connect with each other because this left wing neo liberal garbage that has taken over everything.
I want to excerpt this fantastic bit from a recent interview by Dave Rubin of Varoufakis:
44:56 When I was growing up, when I was around 7, there was a coup d'etat in Greece. A proper coup d'etat, one that you would recognise, there were tanks on the streets, the police broke down peoples doors, abducted people ended up in football stadiums; or prison camps and so on. So that was a coup d'etat using the tanks. The one I experienced was a coup d'etat using the banks - the latter is more subtle and therefore more sinister.
Because I remember, I have vivid memories of living in a dictatorship. With the military up there manning various junctions in the city centre, Banning any concentration of people including women; three people, burning books. a fascist dictatorship.
But there was hope Dave, hope that is now missing, do you know why? Because you can identify the authoritarianism. All you had to do was step out you could look at the army, you could look at the secret policeman looking over his newspaper watching over your house. You know what the enemy is, and you thought 'Well OK, all we have to do is overpower them, and we'll be free.'
Now it's more difficult to see where liberation comes from. Because you don't see anything, but there is fear. As we speak my successor in the ministry of finance who was my friend for many years, an academic colleague. There is not one piece of legislation that he can push through parliament without the approval, if not the dictation, of that piece of legislation; by a certain fellow called Thomas Visa whose sitting in Brussels, in Austria. Nobody has heard of him but he is effectively the governor of Greece. Every piece of legislation has to go through Thomas Visa.Thinking about it I've noticed that I never get any interaction on Gab. It's starting to feel a bit futile. Because of this I am contributing less on Gab and feeling less energetic for my blog. So I might just delete it. I have 485 followers on Gab but I am only responded to when I comment on other peoples post that is all the time I follow about thirty people and interact with almost all of their posts. This has annoyed me before these silent followers, like watchful vampires. There is no English part on Gab because there are only three trending hashtags. So Britfam isn't easily seen. There is a bit too much anti semitism for my liking.
I would like to de- activate for a few weeks. It works with facebook, but Gab does not have that feature yet.
I may go back in the short term or long term but for now I'm done with Gab, I'm going back to twitter.