Tuesday, 19 August 2025

Reflections on a difficult society/ situation.

I have been thinking lately about how incredibly stuck I am. Unemployed and not likely to be employed soon. That is only one hurdle. EVEN before getting to the job and facing any issues once I get there (such as them ignoring any health concessions I might need). Which, going from my last job, such issues will likely not be insignificant. But I am in a constant state of applying for jobs and getting responses like: "We are looking at your application but please understand we have received many for this role". These numbers are HIGH when I have inquired at interviews. I do not see myself as the best candidate most of the time, just from the law of averages and not being twenty years old, and to be honest, in a lot of customer service roles, not being female. 

I am also ill. I have had entire days unproductive due to this. Nursing a painful stomach. My health is slowly improving. Lack of money isn't helping here. I had a fantastic gym session yesterday. But even if it is improving, it is not good or even average. It obviously impacts, practically and potentially. On friendships, potential relationships and intimate encounters, jobs etc. 

On the subject of friendships and relationships. These are a no go. I am thinking of sex more as my health improves. It was certainly peaceful on the intimate front not having much sex drive. Or having a confused sex drive. Therefore, not even desiring to risk anything to achieve that aim. A lot of women are all sorts of manipulative, toxic and/ or... left wing. Sometimes kind of deluded in a way I can't interact with.  

Also, especially after a certain age. Experience I don't have is really needed. Having little experience I would not settle for a woman that was trying to 'lock down a provider'. I could not live without any spontaneous relationship fun that women have before they become super controlling around 30. At least to have experienced that a little. I do not want to engage with only the bad parts of a relationship, with a woman who uses sex for control ("Not looking for a hook up"), and has a timetable as her biological clock runs out. But I am at an age, and certainly at an income level, where getting anything I would desire, from women at least, would be practically impossible. The only thing that I can afford, or even potentially afford if things were to improve, is "second hand", so to speak. If that. Sometimes buying something second hand that you will have to pay a lot of money to fix and won't run very well is simply not worth it.  

Friendships, and even some family relationships are also fraught with these problems. I have been ill and dysfunctional. A lot of anxiety and attention paid to non conformist politics. People don't like me. They avoid me. But also, I can't do what a grown man, a grown individual of either gender in truth, has to do as an adult. I cannot provide value. Or at least, any value I do provide is likely not going to be received well for a host of reasons. 

People have been, and are, dismissive and rude. They have no time for me as I do not have any status. In the future, if I were to gain status, which is obviously what would happen if my goals were achieved, or I got lucky. It would present an interesting conundrum. What value is someones positive attention (if I were to have "made it" and had status). If, when I had low status, they ignored me? The value of their attention would be at zero it seems to me currently. Perhaps if that were to happen things would seem different, there might be elements I have not accounted for. But I can't think of an alternative to that value number.  

That is obviously "if" I were to gain status. If I do not it's not even an option. They will just carry on ignoring me.  

It is certainly not all hopeless in my view. I use a lot of extremely powerful metaphysical tools and if my situation can be improved. Those metaphysical tools would do so. I know that the Law of One is awesome and I study it. I meditate. I have musical talent and a high IQ. I pay attention to dream interpretation, and I do have a spiritual life which means I am not alone in a way that many people are. 

In real terms. I am not the only person to be experiencing difficult situations in this economy and in the current social and political situation. There has been a sustained campaign, to reduce the power of men. Through DEI and various other things. At a point, men have no leverage, no power, and hence, nothing to negotiate with. Women have all the legal power in marriage and most of the social power in most situations before we even get there. So men don't engage in dating and such. 

I do have a disability. It's not a terrible one. It is invisible. I don't have a wheelchair or a severe mental health issue. But I do have a disability, and I suppose this is the existence that disabled people have. Being casually ignored and condescended to in general. Not able to earn a lot of money. 

I do though, also, believe in the QAnon narrative. That things are on the way to getting better and that there is a possibility that things will transform a great deal. So really, it is what it is. 

Monday, 18 August 2025

Back to Christianity.

So yeah, a couple of days without doing communion and prayer, without committing to Christianity, and I soon went back. 

The demonic emotions/ sensations were very intense. I will not be going off Christianity again I don't expect. This is it now. And all the paraphernalia I have attached to it that I was disattaching from. The Law of One and the Q'uo readings. 

It changes my perspective in a few fundamental ways. Before I was kind of pushing against my own Christianity. I was unsure. But now I have decided I am running with it. It has brought into clarity a few of the things I would like to articulate.

But that is not for now. I just wanted to update because it is not honest to have my last post being against Christianity and to have my actively practicing it. 

Tuesday, 12 August 2025

Following ones own path.

Been having pretty big insights.

Only a short entry today. But the main insight I have had is a realisation of a kind of entropy. In my brain a few things are grouped together. The Quo readings, the Law of One, Christianity and communion and Prayer. 

These things I have decided are not useful to me, and I am no longer identifying as a Christian.

I still do believe strongly in the Law of One. Which submits to a kind of new age mythology. But I realise since I became Christian, to myself. I have kind of tried to shoehorn Christianity into my life and it has never fit. 

There are many different things going into this. But stopping with the Christian mythology has allowed me to be far more clear than I was. It is far more easy to motivate myself and to see clearly without having to rewire around this conception of myself in this quasi spiritual, heart chakra'd, way. 

Even though I have taken some of the bare bones of the Law of One as legitimate. Further looking into the Law of One. Reading about it or thinking of it any further. Well, I definitely get a certain repulsion from the concept of doing so.

I'm thinking, to understand meaning in my life philosophy is a better direction for me at this time.  

Wednesday, 30 July 2025

Thoughts on Spiritual Entropy.

I have two alternate but connecting definitions. Or just thoughts really. On spiritual entropy. 

One, is that if we were to relate the term for how entropy works as a scientific concept. Entropy is when due to an unpredictability in the smaller parts of a system. The system cannot co operate within itself and it kind of breaks down. 

So, the normal example given for physical entropy is the melting of ice. The individual ice molecules become more exciteable and break the links with the other atoms. Then the entire thing melts. 

The other example. Is also intuitive. But, might not have been intuitive, it might have been from reading the Law of One initially and then having forgot this. But I have intuitively felt that that feeling of breakdown that a person gets when they have put energy into something and not gotten anything out of for a long time is also entropy. This is not completely spelled out, but for me is as good as directly stated. In Law of One session 87.14. I may have skipped over some part of the explanation here. I am a little tired at the moment. 

I suppose in a sense, which I will come to, the example of entropy I am going to come to does use both of these elements. 

In real life:

I feel that this concept itself is so unbelievably powerful. That a literal book could be written on it and that it would be well advised for someone to do so. 

It disproves a lot of strange claims to the infinite power of the Deep State claimed by doomers. It explains the negative polarity and why it cannot succeed and why it so often fails. People often believe they cannot fail because of the huge amount of power they have. Then, the negative elite go to a lot of trouble to make it seem that they are indeed invinceable. That everything that happens was planned by them. But entropy would disagree with this. 

I cannot go into the concept as much as I would like. But I believe it is not only responsible for the crumbling of the negative polarity. But it also explains why love sent to the negative polarity can collapse them. Rather like the ice example. 

The positive polarity also uses the concept/ physical law of entropy as talked about in session 46.9.

When it is used in relation to the positive I imagine sometimes the concept of entropy might be used to move someone on from doing one activity to doing another, more personally useful activity. Rather like a very miniature version of the discussion of the negative fifth density entity converting to positive sixth due to entropy in session 36.15.

So in real life that might be that a person works in a certain area and then as they realise they're not as into it as they thought. The more energy they put in, and getting little back. It collapses their ability to do the job and they break out and go do something more aligned with themselves. 

Personal.

The reason I mention this is that I am starting to suspect this process is also happening to me. I am not sure of it enough yet that I can make a blog post saying I won't be on the internet anymore. But there are simply a couple of emotional experiences. Now that my dog has died and those feelings have been escalated. That I am struggling with and might fit into the entropy category. 

  • With the new gestapo laws from the UK I just can't be bothered with it. I don't get a lot of response on social media in general so the entropy creating effects of putting energy into something and not getting much back I think are happening there. With Reddit, they recently asked me for my date of birth. I looked through my comments shortly after and saw how little of my comments had gotten a like. Even high quality comments. I feel like from Reddit that is a big ask. 
  • I have suddenly grown incredibly tired with "midwits". There are a lot of little points on this point. There have been reflections and videos I was going to excerpt here talking about this. Showcasing a 'midwit' and reflecting on future karmic events. But then again, I can't be bothered. My energy is low. I am exhausted with twitter midwits/ morons. Just absolutely exhausted and considering my withdrawal from that public space.
  • My youtube channel. Where I faithfully try to explain some of my concepts. The last two videos got zero views. There was a time this probably would not have bothered me. But being honest with myself. I suppose it is starting to get to me. This is mostly because my energy is lower so it costs more to make said videos. I get it. I really do. There are a lot more very intelligent and better presented videos out there. I don't feel angry at that. But it also highlights how it is not a useful energy expenditure for me. 

These are just thoughts at the moment. Removing myself from the public space might be good. Moving over to doing more music might be as well. I don't know what I will decide in the future. Or if this feeling will pass when my grief has processed a bit more. But I think I am suffering from entropy in relation to these platforms and have been for a long time. 

Conclusion.

As I said, the way entropy works, is that the person has too much internal conflict. Too much opposition within themselves to make a decision. With my youtube video. I used to keep saying I would make a video. Trying to make myself make one. Having ideas I got excited about and then it would just dissolve. I wonder if this is an expression of entropy. If it were, it would not be within my control to push myself into doing that again. It would be the end of youtube.

We'll see how it goes.  

Tuesday, 29 July 2025

Tools against the negative.

I was watching a Steven Cambian video the other day. Not live. But the video after he had done a livestream. He was saying how David Wilcock should not be talking about his medical issue (constipation) with his followers since that is profoundly boring.

I am also going to talk about said medical issue that I have also had. But I do hope to discuss this within the context of attempting to follow the Law of One. Such as session 32.1. I hope that the discussion has a valid meaning. 

Since, as previously mentioned. My dog suddenly died the other day. This has brought with it a number of issues. I was in a good groove having a dog that satisfied some sort of 'love' part of the equation in my life. Now that the dog has passed, and certain situations are more difficult. I am reflecting a little bit on my spiritual practice in general and especially in relation to negative greeting types of issues. 

Even before my dog died. I had a feeling which lead me to engage in a little bit of "channeling". I laid in bed and spoke the words coming. This had a profoundly positive feel. Not only that but it felt very connected to this. There was divine synchronicity as it felt. I learned that the constipation I was experiencing was very dangerous and I worked to handle it. Had I not, I imagine I could have ended up in hospital. 

Best Practice. 

This was good. It was a positive channeling it felt like. But what followed far later was a non positive channeling it felt like. I won't describe it and what makes me think this. But the energy of the 'entity' is a highly pressurised sort of thing. It very much "wants in" and I am using certain mechanisms to keep it at bay. 

I suspect this was what happened to David Wilcock. That he was not able to discern that perhaps an initially positive contact became negative. This is just a guess. 

Anyway, because of this I wanted to reflect on how certain tools impact my defence against this negative energy in my life:

Keeping the Law of One book nearby: Since I have been too tired to use my primary protection mechanism, prayer. I just don't want to do it often. I will discuss that. I needed a more passive protection mechanism. I keep on my bed, where I spend most of my time, and I keep it there when I sleep. The Law of One book 2. Bear in mind that if the entity that wanted to channel was positive, the Law of One book 2 would not keep it at bay. 

Meditation: Not something I could do the first few days after the dogs death. But one of the primary parts of my spiritual practice. What it feels like, when I do meditation. Is that the energy that comes into my being during this exercise cannot be effected by the negative. I do not know why. 

Prayer: One of the things that I think went wrong with the main Law of One group is that they were not allowed to wallow around in confusion for long periods. They were guided or forced in some way into their best spiritual practice. But I think wrestling with yourself over if a practice is beneficial, can really solidify a foundational understanding of why it is useful. 

This is true with me and prayer. I definitely feel something good when I am not praying. A certain freedom. A certain emotional linked insight. But it has been the repetition of wondering whether it is a good practice that means that I now do it even when I don't FEEL it to be the best thing to do. After I pray, it is confirmed it was the best thing to do. 

Prayer... Is powerful. And it feels like it pushes me quite forcefully into a certain direction intuitively. As though the prayer was routing around some sort of self destructive tendency within myself and pushing me to be more productive than I otherwise would be. Pushing me away from indulgence in a sense. Or some hard to identify self sabotage. 

The main thing.

This isn't necessarily the 'main thing' in my life. I suppose the spiritual stuff, and where that includes dream interpretation and philosophy is a big element. But none of this addresses music which is another thing I really love to do. When I haven't done music in a few days I really feel I have wasted my time but I consciously know that a lot of the surrounding stuff in keeping myself going and able to do music is important.

I mentioned previously, I have thought a lot. About the constipation and whether it was metaphysically linked or not. I DID meditate and directly get a benefit that had a good result in that manner, and it did include letting go of something. So perhaps that is the case. Notably this is only one instance. But the insight might be enough to be thought about and create change in itself. 

I am hoping though the main benefit come from diet. Between prune juice and flax seeds. I am hoping the problem won't come back again. Flax seeds are a super food that is known for fixing all sorts of digestive problems. 

Obviously, I am still putting myself back on my feet. No firm thoughts on caffeine and Session 32.1 yet. We'll have to see if the flax seeds take. While drafting potential articles in my head one of the ones I considered was writing a political and Q linked one. Saying how, in my current catalyst, I do not feel the need for a lot more drudgery and it would be nice to see some positive change. 

In truth though, the lack of any movement there despite so many false starts is very discouraging so I will not invest my energy into talking about that. I am hoping that my current use of tools. Not just restricted to these. Will be enough to keep me going during whatever the future holds.  

Sunday, 27 July 2025

Reflections on Mercury retrograde.

Transiting Mercury was travelling over my conscious Sun on July 9th. It retrograded on July 18th. Going back over my conscious Sun in gate 33.6 on July 26th with a few hours either side. 

The insights for me were quite punctual. On July 9th I contacted someone associated loosely with the Law of One in order to discuss spiritual subjects in general with them. The thing I attempted to discuss with this person was my perceived blockage in the fact that I don't seem to be able to "energy heal" myself despite being so close. The reason I broke this down to, after a bit of communication, was potentially down to the sixth archetype of the mind. Where one side is my true self (meditation, music) and the other side was the negative side of this same card (energy healing). As shown, this card shows two contradictory paths.

I wrote two posts on this persons subreddit which was Law of One themed in this time. One on free will, and one on the possibility of the Law of One having a few lies in it. With some historical background on this. The dates of these posts were July 14th and July 21st. The second one of these was banned from the forum. In a way. It is as though the turning point of the energy of my being there happened in the space between these. The midpoint of these two posts was on the date of the Mercury retrograde. 

On July 26th, I checked the human design transits as I had this thought. I had what might have been an insight into this problem. The insight, which I am still working with. Is that I can do the healing. The above archetype might not have been correct. Might not have been the right one that I am working with. It seems to me at the moment. From having to go back to healing. That I can do healing. I just have to meditate first to bring in the energy. Then energy healing is OK. I have got good results against existing health problems with this strategy. 

I have found doing energy work without meditating first to cause some issues. That the healing energy seems to cover my natural energy and confuse me. That I need to do healing first to kind of assert my own energy and to bring the energy in initially. There is two distinct parts of this which should not be combined. Bringing energy in. Then using that energy to change the existing structure. 

So that is a thing then. I had an idea on July 9th, at least that's when I started expressing it. That was gained insight into on July 26th. When I come off chocolate, which I am starting to do since I have decided it is not a suitable long term health strategy. This might change. But this is the theory I am working with. 

Potentially there is more here though. In relation to the way I interact with people and socialise. There is something I am thinking that may have correlated with this Mercury retrograde. 

One of the problems that I get a lot with a certain kind of person. This person conforms to a somewhat traditional Christian outlook but they are also, normal secularist discussion, astrology and things such as the Law of One. Is an absolute narrow mindedness that makes the person impossible to deal with. That I feel I should go some lengths to avoid dealing with this kind of person. 

I stopped going on an astrology blog and Law of One forum due to this kind of thing. The kind of thing is is a taking of a moral high ground by the other person and a refusal to engage further. Just like a wall. When any discussion is had. In combination with a kind of subtle manipulation and weasel wording/ sophistry. 

A good example is the forgiveness without contrition argument. I have many points against it. So one, which is persuasive. Is that if you forgive without contrition you are acting against the free will of the person being forgiven. Often these people refuse to acknowledge they have done anything wrong. So if you forgive them and communicate this to them, then you are effectively trying to get them to acknowledge your perspective on this matter in a very sneaky way. They might say something like "Well, you deserved it to be beaten up when you were a child, you were a right monster". 

The attitude that people that would argue against this would give you back often is something like that you should do it anyway. But no reason would be given. They would not engage with that part of the argument. Then if you were in the discussion with them. A trap that you could fall into. That I have fallen into. Is to try and further justify your argument.

But no, if they will not acknowledge that. It can't be discussed any further in truth. The person will maintain the moral high ground in this circumstance. This is important to mention. 

It is this kind of obfuscation that is - it presents a block that must be respected.  

I have experienced this kind of dynamic with many subjects. Such as talking about Aaron Abke's perspective. Backed up with bible quotes. That Jesus preached a works based gospel and not a faith based gospel. The lengths of denial Christians have gone to when I have talked to them about this has been insane. I quoted Martin Luther, (founder of Protestantism) supporting unequivocably my point to one of them and they just ignored it. An apparently devout Christian. Every part of the discussion is them deliberately misinterpreting and putting no effort into interpretating what you are saying, and what bible quotes you are bringing in. They ask no questions like a person discussing things with you in good faith. 

What is often a shock to me in these situations is the casualness with which people will forsake the spiritual teachings they claim to hold dear. The bible is the literal word of God to Christians. If you quote from it they should listen and acknowledge. In the Law of One. Free will is THE MOST IMPORTANT LAW OF CREATION. There was not even an attempt to disavow or argue another perspective on this. It was just ignored. Not 'my understanding of free will is x, where you have gone wrong is y backed up by Law of One quote z'. It's just... nothing. 

People don't though. They don't care or accept these things as authority in their lives if they collide with their personal emotional preference. 

I really don't know if any of this has a point or is guided on some sort of grand level. Is this my service? Or is it just a waste of time? I don't feel that my behaviour in getting in these discussion reflects well Jesus' teachings of 'Don't give Pearls to Swine'.  

My point being, and this is the important point that would correlate with Mercury retrograde. As it has always seemed to relate to the social life in some way. Is that it is, I think, worth considering, how to completely keep these unproductive discussions out of my life.

There is a problem here in that a lot of these discussions come originally from an attempt to solve a very solid problem that does not seem to be going anywhere. That of loneliness and relative solitude. That ends with me attempting to communicate to others through things like twitter. Where the algorithm puts Christian comments on my feed. I don't follow these people.  

They are close minded and not particularly nice people. I commented on one of their posts earlier today and went back and deleted it as I know they will never hear me. These are still the group that universally ostracise people for studying astrology and will ostracise me for that reason as well. Nothing outside a very narrow and stupid viewpoint will get them to communicate in good faith.  

It's very tiring. I think the world is dysfunctional and others are probably stuck in similar looping dysfunctions. It's worth nothing though I think, and I do think it does correlate with Mercury retrograde in general. I actually started this article with a whole other idea of how I was going to communicate this same thing. About an example on a youtube show of someone not having awareness of how non moral their apparently moral beliefs were. Reflecting on how many people are like this and what catalyst this kind of thing might attract. But I suppose I went another route.  

Friday, 25 July 2025

Caffeine, Alcohol and dream interpretation.

Back to dreams. 

My dreams have been giving me insight into session 32.1. As I mentioned last time. I stopped alcohol. Felt better. But then went back to it for the same reason that I had gone on it before. But dreams have commented on that both times. My now position is that alcohol is not OK. Mostly because it leads to a lack of 'polarity' for me. As in, it distorts/ collapses that kind of momentum. That I normally get that is connected to me praying and seeking meditation and guidance and such. 

Sitting with the Law of One book 2 close to me at all times for the energetic and moral support to stay off it. 

Chocolate at this point. A) Is VERY necessary and pretty perfect for constipation. Today, was stuck. A bunch of chocolate, nothing else, a nap, and my stomach was sorted out. B) Chocolate/ Caffeine does not seem to have the strength to effect my current state of semi grief. At the moment, I am going with that caffeine is OK and is not a strong enough chemical to relate to session 32.1. 

I don't like to take it too many days consecutively if it disturbs my sleep. But I am unusually sensitive. For most people I think caffeine is fine.  

Another note on dreams though. One of the really beneficial things for me. One of the desireable things for me. Is some clarity on some of the more petty annoyances I have with people. I have mentioned this before in small ways. I know from people like Stefan Molyneux how one deals with the BIG things. But the small things, is something I think about. The small annoyance, grievances, the snubs and lack of respect. 

I had one of these with someone recently. A snub. Perhaps a fair one. But nonetheless I was spoken to in a way that I would not be if I had more status I am quite sure. When going over a dream I was surprised that it referenced this. It also, gave me a good indication of the psychology of the other person and specifically mentioned, I think to dismiss, the idea of their motivation I had assumed. 

The motivation I think is more correct from that dream correlates with a song I had created. 

This is one of those pretty priceless things so I just thought I would make this blog another back up of the benefit of dream interpretation!