I realise this post might be a bit too personal, boring and even vaguely schizophrenic. I hope it provides value in that I am thinking through the Law of One. But I did feel the need to add this proviso at the beginning. I am partway through as I write this but I hope to end on a good point about society and such.
New Years and the gate 38.
I can't stand New Years Eve. I have never liked it. I think the best one I ever had was drinking a whole bottle of Baileys and watching the first episode of a vampire show that I never followed up on.
In the practical real world. This is because I don't really have friends. The previous friend I did have I hung out with occasionally. I recall them all leaving on New Years Eve and every party or event has turned out to be bad luck. I have ended up walking home as the time crossed 0:00. I used to think this was because the real Human Design New Year is on January 22nd. When the Sun crosses into gate 41. But now I've started to think it is because on New Years Eve. The Sun is in gate 38. And that is a damn difficult gate.
The gate of the fighter. From the channel of struggle.
Which fits my current experience. Having been quite ill the past few days I am recovering.
From the Law of One session 61:
Questioner: Is there anything in particular that the instrument could do to improve the physical condition?
Ra: I am Ra. This instrument has two factors affecting its bodily distortions. This is in common with all those which by seniority of vibration have reached the green-ray level of vibratory consciousness complexes.
The first is the given instreamings which vary from cycle to cycle in predictable manner. In this particular entity the cyclical complexes at this space/time nexus are not favorable for the physical energy levels.
The second ramification of condition is that which we might call the degree of mental efficiency in use of catalyst provided for the learning of programmed lessons in particular and the lessons of love in general.
This instrument, unlike some entities, has some further distortion due to the use of pre-incarnative conditions.
My emphasis. Obviously, since Law of One quotes aren't randomly bolded. This line was one of those moments for me where I have to put down the book and try and digest it. That, with some other things in dream interpretation. These are good moments. Having met something so profound you have to think it over before you absorb anything new.
Applying the quotes.
The profundity is more in line with reading the Law of One repeatedly, reading not just the words but absorbing the overlying pattern. What we are here doing is to absorb and use everything in our real life. To "process all of our catalyst". I have watched this be a part of other admirable peoples lives.
To me the line would likely be 'catalyst provided for the learning of programmed lessons and in particular and the lessons of wisdom in general. Assuming I do have lessons since the fifth density incarnate wanderer on Earth is already harvestable to sixth density. However, I do think I have lessons.
So what does this spate of illness. What catalyst has it been providing me? For me, I felt like I finally might have got something right. But then, I might have got one of the particulars wrong.
When I realised a bit of time would be spent in recovery I realised it is an opportunity to fully REJECT energy healing as a potential solution to anything. Energy healing is a thing I have returned to periodically that is always somewhat toxic. I have even had dreams, multiple dreams in fact, summarising to me that this is not positive. One of those reasons may be a certain lack of emotional empathy. I cannot extend the healing to others once I have theoretically healed myself, because I have not had the experience of caring for other massively. I do look after family members and such but my emotional empathy "doth not overflow". In the same way that an introvert doesn't have masses of energy for socialising.
I suspect partly, that the reason for this, is that I desire very strongly to oppose evil. If I was life planning and I was discussing said plans with higher entities and they said to me something like. "You can have a distortion towards healing but you would spend a decade and a half as a leftist as well". That would be a hard 'no' for me.
But I still wanted healing. Without turning to energy healing it is a bit more about just waiting it out. So I turned to prayer. Waking up I had an insight and decided to send energy to a few people. So this was my almost learning the lesson but getting the fine print wrong.
I got what I consider energetic responses. Like, someone very similar to the person I sent energy to turned up and I got insights into that person that energy. I also got an instinct to contact someone, and I was reminded of the massively unproductively complex connection we have.
For me, as a fifth density entity... "Love", as in sending Love. Does not make a difference. It does not solve anything. It does not shift or provide solutions to anything. So the point is. No sending love to myself in the form of energy healing. No sending love to others.
What does make a difference.
What I think does make a difference is gaining enough wisdom on my situation that I understand why it is the way it is, and thus that I am able to moreso accept it.
At the moment my situation is largely unchangeable. I am of course growing in ways that matter. Like, my understanding of the Law of One, and I am improving in health. I am probably improving in health as a direct result of not being employed and not being employed in the current market. So even though being unemployed is frustrating. There is a positive element to it.
HOWEVER, the world is a larger place and even though I don't socialise. Moving forward in my life would assume that socialising would be necessary.
In reflecting on gender roles, as this is the crux of the issue I think. (Because even men are controlled by women). My understanding is that men are fundamentally designed to work and provide value. To provide resources. They provide this, and what follows on is their instinct to look after a wife and family. What men desire when they have money is to get a woman and put her in the kitchen. To summarise in a very basic way.
Every single car, computer, every cement block on the pavement, is due to mens desire for status in this way.
Women are in a different place. They are born with beauty and an excess level of emotional energy. They are about looking after babies, or people, knitting together communities, and generally through that mechanism supporting whatever the tribal values are. Women are vulnerable to, and repeaters of, whatever the dominant propaganda is of the day.
This stuff is deeply, deeply placed in our genetics. In our very being. As far as I understand. So men go out looking for ways to provide value in the world. Gain resources. The world is more likely to shame men that are not able to do so. As they are not useful to the tribe. (They don't have the inherent value of the female reproductive system).
So mens value is themselves + the job they are able to do and resources they provide. In the normal situation, women have to gain those resources from men. So they are nice to men. They think about ways to get said resources. They are charming.
There is more to this that I won't go into.
At the moment what we have is men but no jobs. A lot of them. Since as we have seen recently. A lot of white millennial men are deliberately excluded from workplaces by woke retards. But what we have is a lot of subsidised female jobs. Of course, there are real female jobs as well. But, disproportionately, women are getting a lot more of the jobs and some of those jobs are completely subsidised. "Lazy girl jobs", as seen on TikTok and such, can see women getting six figures for doing barely anything.
So this creates a long term toxic effect. Women have a lot of value. Female reproductive system + Job. A huge amount of value. Men have no value. No female reproductive system and potentially no job. And the ones that do have jobs, their money is taken from them and given to women via the government and taxes. So it leads to this effect where women. Just don't care about men in general. And they are not willing to concede that they are right about anything. It is the left wing bundle of neurosis or the high way.
The reason this is partly done is to stagnate society. Men are innovators because that kind of groundbreaking creativity. The Elon Musk/ Nicola Tesla's of the world. Is a male thing. Men, even from about six months show greater tendencies towards systemising than women. The look at how things run and push for them to run better.
Women do not have that testosterone. They favour the status quo. And speech policing everyone as though they were looking after infants. Their movement in general, opposes meritocracy and competence.
This leads to a difficult situation but it is in the process of rectifying. It has begun in the US but it will spread to other countries. Manufacturing is returning to the US. By many times. DEI has gone. So men will rise in power. It will go back to where men have the competence, and the resources, and women, and various other communist affiliated groups, will be strongly incentivised to go back on the value system that they have built over the last few decades.
When a group in society goes from powerless to powerful, it will cause quite a lot of potential friction.
Conclusion:
So that is the wisdom that keeps me together. It correlates with an emotional desire for 'revenge'. But it is not really revenge, just the knowledge, the wisdom, of how things actually are. One of the things that is relevant to discussing these concept is "What precise emotion or thing connects to a word". Since revenge can mean different things. But it is possible to align such a word with something that is higher and for the good.
This world and this society has reached such levels of darkness and confusion that it could be that when things change, we will simply look back on a lot of these troublesome behaviours as a time shrouded in darkness that does not make any particular sense. Or perhaps moral lessons will be drawn from it.
